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The Recollections

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Yume Nikki: The Recollections

The Introduction

My name is Madotsuki.
But, that's not my real name.
I would tell you, but I can't.
I am an eighteen-year-old college freshman, and ever since that incident, my life turned upside down.
If you are willing to stay, then I'll be happy to explain.

But why did everything crumble before me? Why?
I don't know.
Somehow, I must investigate these dreams to learn more...

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Yume Nikki: The Recollections

The Normal Life

I was the second eldest of three daughters. My older sister, whom I vaguely resemble, is working as a nurse at a local hospital.
My younger sister, who is deaf, but is currently undergoing sign language, is still in junior high.
I can't tell you their real names, but in the dream world, I refer to them as Monoko and Monoe, respectively.
I still call them every day, and occasionally visit them to see how they're doing. I also talked to my parents on the phone, too.
I was often described as being quiet, shy and a bit vulnerable. Nevertheless, I had an unlikely friend, whom I will refer to as Poniko.
C'mon, let's go for a walk around the campus!, she'd tell me after college was finished for the day.
But I'm not good at running..., I responded.
We're walking, not running, no need to fret!, she replied.
Okay, I'm with you, I said, nodding my approval.
She was brighter than me, more outgoing than me, and often had a cheery disposition. She also happened to be dating a classmate of hers, but he was run over during a traffic accident one day. I refer to him as Shitai.
To this day, she never wanted to date men ever again, as she believed he was her first love.
Speaking of first loves, I happened to have mine, too...

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Yume Nikki: The Recollections

The First Love

During my first year in high school, I fell in love with my music teacher.
He was 25 at the time, and is now 28. I refer to him as Seccom Masada.
He was young, handsome and well-liked by the staff, and was quite gifted with the piano, and I often took piano lessons with him, even after school.
I think you have potential to be a pianist in the future, he'd tell me once a week.
As my time in high school progressed, so did my growing friendship towards him, and on graduation day, he was able to give me a songbook as a gift.
Then, on May, during my first year in college, I was able to contact him...

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Yume Nikki: The Recollections

The Attempted Consummation

On a Saturday in June, after meeting up with him at a cafe once college ended for today, we were able to discuss how things were going, and the fact that I might have the potential to be a musician, after all. Once we had our fill of food, I asked if he can come home with me.
I had already moved out of my parents's home, and began to live in an apartment.
Of course, I had to take a part-time job as a clerk at a local store to pay for the rent.
At first, he seemed a bit surprised, but was able to comply.
When we got to my apartment, we sat silently in the living room, staring at each other. We were both perplexed on what to say next, until I finally broke the ice.
Teacher, there's something I want to tell you, I told him.
Yes?, he replied.
I took a deep breath, and I spoke: Teacher, I know we have been good friends for a few years, and to be honest, I feel as though I'm...
...I'm in love with you.
His jaw hung in surprise, and he blinked a few times before he said: I don't know what to say...but...
...I know I'm ten years older than you, and although it might seem forbidden...
...I'm in love with you, too.
He stood up and helped me up, so that we were staring eye to eye. He swallowed, and as he closed his eyes, he leaned in to kiss me.
It was a short, but gentle kiss, and I couldn't help but smile at his actions. He was then able to ask: Have you ever...?
I blushed when I heard his inquiry; Poniko seemed to have more knowledge about sex than I do, so I shook my head 'no'.
Me neither, was his response. It wasn't long before he embraced me again, and kissed me once more, only this time it was a little deeper, though there wasn't any tongue involved.
He would then escort me to my bedroom, and the next thing I knew, I was undressing myself. He was blushing as much as me, and he would remove his clothes, as well.
When we both stood there, naked and looking into each others's eyes, I saw what appeared to be a hidden longing, a hidden desire. Once again, we embraced, and another kiss was shared between us, as his hands ran through my unbraided hair.
Scooping me into his arms bride-and-groom style, he brought me to the bed, and gazed down at me, lust and love filling his eyes. As he examined my slender body, I was able to return the favor, my eyes scanning his lanky physique.
He placed a trembling hand onto one of my small, already developed breasts, and gave it a small squeeze. I gasped, feeling his touch for the first time.
His long fingers began to tease an already hard nipple, and we shuddered as another pleasurable shock hit my body.
He lowered down to gently suckle, prompting me to arch my back, and at the same time, his other hand reached in between my legs, tracing the outline of my womanhood.
Teacher, I call out to him, and in response, his lips left my breasts, beginning to kiss my stomach, and finally at my inner thighs. When he curiously inserted a finger inside of me, I cried out.
He knew I was a virgin, due to how tight I was. He was able to briefly finger me before he was able to get something out of his pants pocket, and what he took out was clearly a condom.
Gently spreading my legs apart as he kissed me again, and making sure I was ready for him after he put it on, he teased my entrance with his length, until...
No!
I suddenly stopped him, and sat up, shaking in fear.
What's...What's wrong?, he asked, his eyes full of concern.
We both sat on the edge of the bed, and I was able to reply: This isn't right...
What do you mean? I had some protection on me..., he told me.
I know, but...maybe...
I gazed up at him with a reassuring smile, and added: ...maybe during summer vacation, we can...do it.
He was surprised, and asked: Do you promise me?
I promise.
His right hand gently held my left, and we looked at each other with tender smiles.
Unfortunately, I would break that promise a month later, a few days before vacation.

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Yume Nikki: The Recollections

The Incident

It was one of the last few days of school before summer vacation, and I was unusually happy. I knew that once the deed was done, I was complete.
However, I received a note just as I was about to leave the campus. It read:
Meet me down at the boiler room.
As curious as I was, I decided to go down there, to figure out who wrote it. When I got there, however, I discovered that I was the only one in the boiler room.
At least, until a man in a janitor's uniform - the college janitor, nonetheless - grabbed me from behind.
I can't go into detail, as it's too painful for me to describe, but what he did was horrible - something that drastically changed my life for the worst. I was now no longer a virgin, and I had broken Masada's promise.
In fact, it was on that same day that he was visiting the college, which was his alma mater, to check up on and see if I was allright. When I exited the boiler room after the incident, he was able to catch up with me.
He had a pained expression on his face, yet I ignored him and went on home, but he was able to say this:
You broke your promise. Why?
He had also tried to explain to the college principal that the rape in the boiler room happened, but the principal ignored him, claiming that nothing bad actually happened there. He was wrong, so wrong...
To make matters even worse, I even took a pregnancy test a few days later, as it was clear that I may have gotten pregnant after the incident, which sadly, is exactly what happened.
I then spent most of my time holed up in my apartment after school, refusing to meet Poniko, Masada, or even my sisters. And one night, I began to dream...the most unsettling dreams I've ever experienced...

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Yume Nikki: The Recollections

The Dreams, And...

I was able to encounter Masada, Monoko, Monoe, Poniko, Shitai, and was able to find five more...
The first was Uboa, and it was the manifestation of the college principal, who had been unaware of what transpired between me and the janitor in the boiler room, and ignored Masada's claims.
Then there were the Toriningen, who were the manifestation of the pretty, popular girls at college. In the dream world, they pursued me like they were my enemies, when in reality, in the real world, they weren't.
Another was Kamakurako, who closely resembled a classmate of mine from high school: in the real world, she was a very nice girl who loved reading books, and was also a member of the literature club; she also hated cats, and preferred dogs over them, because they were much nicer.
Next, was Mafurako, who resembled a woman that lived in the same apartment complex as I was: In the real world, she was described as crabby and a loner, and was also a neet.
And finally, there was Mars, who was the manifestation of the janitor that assaulted me. It silently cried out for me, begging me to put it out of its misery.
And these strange effects...they all turned out to be eggs once I found them all...
...and then I pinched myself awake...
As I woke up, I exited my room and headed for the balcony, where I began to walk towards what appeared to be stairs.

I was defiled...
...and now I am a few weeks pregnant...
I must end it all...
Poniko...
Masada...
Everyone...
I'm sorry...
Forgive me...

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Yume Nikki: The Recollections

What If...?

Wait...
What if...
...things were a little different...?

After I obtained every single effect, there was a thirteenth door that I never saw before.
It was grey, yet had a bloodstain in the center.
I felt obligated to enter through that door, and so I did.

What I saw were puddles of blood, everywhere; I suppose they called this the 'Blood World'.
There were also strange jellyfish that looked like lotus flowers, albeit upside down, and there was also a transparent figure, laying dead.
I took a close look at the figure, and found out it was me, but somehow, the bloodstains next to her were in the form of words. They read:
Do you want to turn back time?
Do you want things to go smoothly instead of crashing down?
Perhaps...
...this could be my salvation!
I was then able to find a trail of bloody footprints while exploring, leading to a door that was changing color every second.
The room I entered was walls depicting me with a few of the effects, before I pressed on, coming across a bridge, with red blood-like water on either side and candles flickering, before I came to another room.
However, there was blood everywhere, and the walls had portraits of me, before I found a corridor guarded by two red blobs.
Using the cat effect, I lured them out, and was able to get in.
There were more portraits of me with more effects, and I was able to walk through the same blood-like water, before moving forward...
...until I ran into a pair of odd circles.

The room I was now in had silver walls with glowing balls of light showing all my memories, and the floor was blue.
Then letters began to appear on the wall, and it said this:
You must put an end to your suffering.
Fortunately, you'll be able to turn back the clock to the day of the incident.
Once you've returned to the real world, avoid the note.
As the letters disappeared, I exited the room, and found myself outside my bedroom, except that the sky was warped, and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I walked towards the stairs.
When I jumped off of them, I knew I was going to die...
But somehow...

...I didn't.
When I awoke, I was lying on the floor on my stomach, and as I got up, I was able to look at the calendar.
Today was the last day of the summer exams, before summer vacation, and the same day that I was going to be attacked by the janitor in the boiler room.
...I did it!
I was able to turn back time!
I also discovered that there was no pregnancy kit to be found in the apartment.
I smiled, and began to get dressed.
About that note, perhaps it meant the one in my locker at college. Not reading it could change the course of history in a good way, and it will.
After I was up and ready, I opened the door in my bedroom, and exited to the living room, and out of my apartment, so that I headed straight for college.

At the lockers, when I opened mine, I was able to take out the note and read it. This time, however, I tore it to shreds.
When Poniko asked what I did, I said to her:
No reason, other than it could lead to severe consequences.
Nevertheless, as summer vacation began, I was able to call up Masada. When he asked if we wanted to go on a date, I approved.
We were able to go to the movies, seeing a romantic comedy, and when the movie was over, we both exited the theater.
Do you...want to go back to my apartment...?, I asked.
Remembering what transpired between us at my apartment, he nodded as he smiled.
Of course, he said.

When we arrived back at my apartment, we began to kiss once we were on the couch in my living room.
I was able to stand up, and went into my bedroom, with Masada following me.
Once he shut the door, he kissed me again, gently pressing me onto the bed as he undid my braids.
We were both able to strip together, and once we were completely exposed for a second time, our kisses became a bit more deeper compared to the previous ones.
He was also able to take a condom out of his pants pocket, as usual, but made sure he wanted to take it slow.
As one of his hands squeezed one of my breast, the other hand slipped into my entrance. A gasp escaped my lips, and at the same time, I curiously brought my hand to his length.
Beginning to stroke him gently, I heard him let out a shudder, and he was able to allow me to continue. But we didn't want to climax immediately; he needed me, and I needed him.
He spread my legs apart, and after putting on the condom, he slowly entered me. I flung my head back, eyes widening and almost to the point of tearing up.
One of his hands reached to cup my face, and as I looked up at him, I noticed that there were tears in his eyes also, and he was smiling down on me.
I smiled back admist my tears, and he leaned in to kiss me once more as he embraced me at the same time. Once my discomfort began to diminish, he began to move slowly within me.
I held onto him, resting my head on his shoulder, and was able to wrap my legs around his waist.
Teacher, I managed to say.
It's okay, you can say my name, he said between ragged breaths.
And I can say yours, I replied as I looked up at him.
He was able to take one of my hands into his, and pressed his forehead into mine. Both of us were now crying with joy, and his movements eventually began to quicken.
All the love between us felt so warm, and so loving, that I never wanted it to stop.
But, it had to come to an end.
I was the first to achieve orgasm, and I was able to cry out his name. Following suit, he emptied himself into the condom he had on, brokenly sobbing my name.

We laid there, basking in the afterglow, with me on top of him. The condom he used was now in the trash can.
I raised up my head and looked up at him with a smile, and he wrapped his arms around me.
I love you, I said with enough courage.
I love you too, he replied.
And with that, we shared a long, gentle kiss that confirmed our love, and cuddled together.
As we fell into a deep sleep, with his lips against the top of my head. I knew that things have turned out for the better...