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marcus brutus is one thicc bih

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100 new messages from HISTORY BICHESSSS
MarcusBrutus: 100 new messages

MarcusBrutus: and not a single one is about history

lesbiansdoitbetter: i will have you know that i mentioned greece and TRIED to ask a homework
question but SOME PEOPLE wanted to have a different conversation

shortbutpowerful: in our defense

shortbutpowerful: you chose a hell of a time

GaymeOn: what did you expect to accomplish by sending a message at 4:19

MarcusBrutus: it's 4:30

MarcusBrutus: it has literally been 20 ten minutes

LipstickandCheer: 11, actually

MarcusBrutus: aren't you supposed to be at cheer?

LipstickandCheer: we're taking a break. im the captain. i can do that.

lesbiansdoitbetter: i thought youd be all for this convo, brutus

lesbiansdoitbetter: considering this is the only time antony and cassius will ever have a civil convo

lesbiansdoitbetter: granted it was just an exchange of weed and sex jokes

GaymeOn: we have reached solidarity

shortbutpowerful: for now

GaymeOn: WAIT its 4:40, shoudln't you be oggling caesar right about now?

shortbutpowerful: shouldnt YOu be pining over brutus right about now?

LipstickandCheer: well there went "civil"

lesbiansdoitbetter: couldn't even last twenty minutes huh?

GaymeOn: does julis' ass look good in thsoe football pants?

GaymeOn: lmao what am i talknn about, what ass?

lesbiansdoitbetter: holy shit

coffeeanddepression: fucign savage

MarcusBrutus: …

MarcusBrutus: anyway

LipstickandCheer: oops gotta go back to practice bieeeee cya later

lesbiansdoitbetter: byeeeeeeee <33

coffeeanddepression: have fun jumpin and shit

MarcusBrutus: we need to talk about that project later

GaymeOn: brutus

GaymeOn: my man

GaymeOn: buddy

GaymeOn: why is your name so fucking average

MarcusBrutus: its just my name

GaymeOn: yeah i KNOW

GaymeOn: thats why its boring

lesbiansdoitbetter: he does have a point

MarcusBrutus: okay, what would you suggest?

GaymeOn: something fun that also makes sense with your personality

lesbiansdoitbetter: oooh what about "ilikebooksmorethanpeople" ?

goldenboy: i mean, that could work in theory but

goldenboy: what do you think about "imbadathidingmynotsosecretcrushoncassius"?

coffeeanddepression: OH OH or "ihavearagingbonerforcassius" ?

shortbutpowerful: guys guys, those are too long

shortbutpowerful: I present to you "prideandprejudomecassius"

MarcusBrutus has left the conversation

GaymeOn: I am

goldenboy: if you actually say suprised ill slap you

GaymeOn: pshhh anyone would be luck y to have me

GaymeOn: im a fuciking catch

coffeeanddepression: yeah sure

shortbutpowerful: whatever you say

GaymeOn: :(( y r yu all mean to me

lesbiansdoitbetter added MarcusBrutus to the conversation

 

1 hour later

1 new message from HISTORY BICHESSSS

bowtoyourcptn: i do too have an ass

GaymeOn: sure you do

bowtoyourcptn: antony can attest to that fact

goldenboy: ...wait a minute

coffeeanddepression: WAIT A FUCKING SECOND

downwiththecistem: DID HE JUST

bowtoyourcptn: oops

GaymeOn: HAVE YOU AND ANTONY BEEN FUCKING

bowtoyourcptn: oops

GaymeOn: I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT???

LipstickandCheer: am I the only one not surprised by this

lesbiansdoitbetter: nah, i knew

bowtoyourcptn: how did you know?

LipstickandCheer: julius. youre not subtle.

lesbiansdoitbetter: im forced to go to the soccer games. dont think i dont see those assgrabs

goldenboy: wow

GaymeOn: holy shit

1 message from GaymeOn

GaymeOn: okay i know we dont rlly get along but

GaymeOn: holy shit i cant believe youve been hitting that and didnt tell me

GaymeOn: does our not-friendship mean nothing to you?

shortbutpowerful: lmao did he slip up? he wanted it to be secret

shortbutpowerful: cus sports and stuff

GaymeOn: yeah he told the entire history class lmao

GaymeOn: but STI LL

GaymeOn: your hiting that???

shortbutpowerful: its amazing

GaymeOn: dicc?

shortbutpowerful: you wouldnt believe me

GaymeOn: YOU LUCKY SHIT

shortbutpowerful: now you just need to man up and get with brutus

GaymeOn: he probably doesnt even like me D:

shortbutpowerful: cassius

shortbutpowerful: i dont know him that well but

shortbutpowerful: really? brutus? straight?

shortbutpowerful: and also caesar told me he likes you

GaymeOn: WAIT REALLY??

GaymeOn: LIKE

GaymeOn: LIKES ME LIKES ME?

shortbutpowerful: somehow

GaymeOn: YOURE NOT JUST SHITTING ME?

GaymeOn: also, ouch.

GaymeOn: Ouch

shortbutpowerful: i hope you know im gonna need payment for this information

GaymeOn: come over saturday

GaymeOn: casca has been saving up for a killer night

GaymeOn: its gonna be lit

GaymeOn: literally

shortbutpowerful: byob?

GaymeOn: please

GaymeOn: its like you dont even know me

GaymeOn: theres more than enough to go around

shortbutpowerful: nice ill be there

shortbutpowerful: but if you dont ask brutus out before then i s2g ill do it mysefl

GaymeOn: you wouldnt dare

 

Saturday Night

1 new message from HISTORY BICHESSSS

MarcusBrutus: anybody free to come study either today or tomorrow?

lesbiansdoitbetter: either works

LipstickandCheer: anytime, anyday! theres no games this weekend so

goldenboy: im down for tomorrow

bowtoyourcptn: today works better for me

goldenboy: alright fuck you too then

bowtoyourcptn: i could do tomorrow but antony is gonna be so hungover tomorrow and if hes

alone he wont do anything but mope and text me all day

TripleA: I can't do any day, unfortunately. I'm the designated driver. Plus I've finished everything.

MarcusBrutus: designated driver for who?

TripleA: casca and cimber

lesbiansdoitbetter: IS CASSIUS HAVING ANOTHER PARTY

lesbiansdoitbetter: THAT I WASNT INVITED TO

GaymeOn: ayy u cn sil com

coffeeanddepression: htress enugh ti go arond

lesbiansdoitbetter: you better save some, im omw

lesbiansdoitbetter: sorry Brutus, gotta raincheck on that studying tonight

lesbiansdoitbetter: im free tomorrow tho, i rlly need help w those history prompts

MarcusBrutus: so, studying tomorrow then?

bowtoyourcptn: works for me

LipstickandCheer: yup!

TripleA: I can try

shortbutpowerful: hye bruts

MarcusBrutus: yes?

shortbutpowerful: r yu free nrct frday?

MarcusBrutus: next friday?

MarcusBrutus: yeah, why?

shortbutpowerful: GRESY! cu im nyt

shortbutpowerful: but csas is

MarcusBrutus: did you just...ask me out...for him?

TripleA: he did.

TripleA: I've confiscated his phone but the offer still stands

MarcusBrutus: uhm

MarcusBrutus: sure? yeah?

TripleA: great. thanks. now i have to get back to making sure nobody dies tonight. goodnight!

MarcusBrutus: goodnight

LipstickandCheer: night!

 

1 new message from MarcusBrutus
MarcusBrutus: did that

MarcusBrutus: did that just happen

MarcusBrutus: did he really ask me out??

lesbiansdoitbetter: technically antony asked you out

MarcusBrutus: still!!

MarcusBrutus: he likes me!

lesbiansdoitbetter: was

lesbiansdoitbetter: was he not obvious enough?

lesbiansdoitbetter: why are guys so oblivious

lesbiansdoitbetter: this is why im a lesbian

MarcusBrutus: and because boobs

lesbiansdoitbetter: mhmm love me some tiddys

MarcusBrutus: hey werent you going over to cassius'?

lesbiansdoitbetter: ye im walking over rn

lesbiansdoitbetter: why?

MarcusBrutus: just wondering why you were texting back so quickly

lesbiansdoitbetter: haha yeah

lesbiansdoitbetter: anyway gtg now

MarcusBrutus: dont get too high/wasted/whatever else

lesbiansdoitbetter: you know i cant promise that

lesbiansdoitbetter: but ill try

MarcusBrutus: i guess thats all i could really expect

 

Monday

 

1 new message from HISTORY BICHESSSS

GaymeOn: Pompey is gonna kiiiiill meeeee

MarcusBrutus: you forgot there was homework again, didnt you?

GaymeOn: in my defense

GaymeOn: i rarely remember homework

MarcusBrutus: do you want to copy mine?

coffeeanddepression: are my eyes deceiving me?

coffeeanddepression: did Marcus Junius Brutus suggest copying his homework?

coffeeanddepression: "model student" Marcus Brutus did not just condone copying

coffeeanddepression: he SUGGESTED IT!

coffeeanddepression: if i knew dating him would get me a free ride on all homework i would
have hit that a while ago

coffeeanddepression: instead i had to stay up all night doing it

coffeeanddepression: do you know how much coffee ive had?

downwiththecistem: the same amount as usual?

coffeeanddepression: ...ive been called out

goldenboy: i mean

goldenboy: theyre not wrong

MarcusBrutus sent a photo

downwiththecistem: feeling #blessed cus i didnt do it either thanks brutus youre a lifesaver

coffeeanddepression: hes so fucking whipped if he can go against all his moral codes for cass
of all people

GaymeOn: HOLY SHIT THANK YOU SO MUCH I COULD KISS YOU RIGTH NOW

GaymeOn: ALSO WOW RUDE CIMBER YOU WISH YOU COULD GET AT THIS

MarcusBrutus: i mean, you can

MarcusBrutus: kiss me

MarcusBrutus: only if you want to!

MarcusBrutus: but the offer is there

GaymeOn: im gonna come kiss you so fuckig hard

coffeeanddepression: im disgusted

coffeeanddepression: here i was, enjoying a nice coffee and sandwich

coffeeanddepression: minding my own business, wondering what my friends were talkng about

coffeeanddepression: only to open my phone and find THIS

coffeeanddepression: i do not need this

coffeeanddepression: i do not want this

GaymeOn: youre just jelous

coffeeanddepression: a relationship is the opposite of what i want lmao

coffeeanddepression: antony and caesar dont do this in the fucking group chat

GaymeOn: me n brutus are cuter than them

shortbutpowerful: EXCUSE YOU?

bowtoyourcptn: lets show them, babe

LipstickandCheer: ARE WE HAVING A RELATIONSHIP-OFF?

goldenboy: this can only end in disaster

lesbiansdoitbetter: im excited

coffeeanddepression: what did i do to deserve this

lesbiansdoitbetter: after school. bleachers. be there or accept defeat.

 

After School

 

1 new message from HISTORY BICHESSSS

coffeeanddepression sent a photo

coffeeanddepression sent a photo

coffeeanddepression sent a photo

coffeeanddepression sent a photo

coffeeanddepression sent a photo

coffeeanddepression sent a photo

coffeeanddepression: that was the funniest thing ive ever seen

shortbutpowerful: I WILL NOT ACCEPT DEFEAT

GaymeOn: THE JUDGES RULED IN OUR FAVOR

GaymeOn: BRASSIUS FOREVERRRRR

coffeeanddepression: the fuck is a brassius and why is it forever

MarcusBrutus: cass says its our "ship name"

shortbutpowerful: babe why dont we have a ship name

shortbutpowerful: i want a ship name :((

bowtoyourcptn: our names dont mesh well

downwiththecistem: i, for one, love the sound of jarcus

goldenboy: jarc for short?

downwiththecistem: absolutely

LipstickandCheer: what about canter? or cantony?

LipstickandCheer: the c sounds like an s

downwiththecistem: i like the way you think

shortbutpowerful: i hate all of you

GaymeOn: SEE? ME AND BRUTUS ARE CLEARLY THE BETTER COUPLE

GaymeOn: EVEN OUR SHIP NAME IS FAR SUPERIOR

shortbutpowerful: YOU MAY HAVE WON THIS ROUND BUT THIS ISNT OVER

shortbutpowerful: ME AND CAESAR WILL COME OUT SUPERIOR IN THE END

 

1 new message from bowtoyourcptn

 

bowtoyourcptn: our bfs sure are something huh?

MarcusBrutus: yeah, somethings the right word

bowtoyourcptn: i hope you know im not part of this feud

MarcusBrutus: me neither

MarcusBrutus: still friends?

bowtoyourcptn: absolutely

MarcusBrutus: but if cassius asks

MarcusBrutus: we never talked and i will destroy you in this relationship-off

bowtoyourcptn: same

bowtoyourcptn: so we have a deal then?

MarcusBrutus: mhmm

 

Sometime Later (like a day or so)

 

1 new message from Brooty

Brooty: cassius

GaymeOn: yes love?

Brooty: did you change my username

GaymeOn: it was soooo boooring

Brooty: it was my name

GaymeOn: EXACTLY!

Brooty: okay, but why “brooty?”

GaymeOn: its a play on yur name

GaymeOn:get it?

GaymeOn: cus yuve been rlly broody lately

GaymeOn: and also cus that ass is thicc

GaymeOn: i bet its not the only part thats thicc AMIRIGHT

you can no longer message this user

GaymeOn: babe

GaymeOn: babe why

 

1 new message from HISTORY BICHESSSS

 

GaymeOn: BABE NO

TripleA: oh no

Coffeeanddepression: what did you do now?

Brooty sent a photo

GaymeOn: YORE EXPOSING ME

TripleA: cass. buddy.

goldenboy: why. just

goldenboy: why

downwiththecistem: CASSIUS

downwiththecistem: IM CRYUGN

TripleA: dont encourage this

GaymeOn: CASCA IS THE ONLY ONE WHO APPRECIATES ME

goldenboy sent a video

TripleA: NO

Brooty: et tu, cinna?

GaymeOn: I havent even clicked the video but i bet its goes "marcus brutus is one thicc bih lemme see that brussy"

GaymeOn: IT FUCKIGN

GaymeOn: CINNA I LOVE YOU

Brooty has left the conversation

bowtoyourcptn added Brooty to the conversation

bowtoyourcptn: if i have to stay here so do you

coffeeanddepression: you can never leave

lesbiansdoitbetter: youre stuck with us

GaymeOn: FOREVER

downwiththecistem: FOREVER

shortbutpowerful: FOREVER

shortbutpowerful: dammit

downwiththecistem: i cant believe we all went for it

LipstickandCheer: i can. i had no faith in us.

shortbutpowerful: WOW

1 new message from GaymeOn

GaymeOn: you know it was a joke, right?

GaymeOn: i can...not do that anymore

GaymeOn: or well i can try

GaymeOn: if it makes you uncomfortable

Brooty: just caught me off guard

GaymeOn: you can change your name back if you want

Brooty: nah, ive become kind of attached to this one

GaymeOn: okay good cus it took me longer than i want to admit coming up w it

Brooty: god i love you

Brooty: wait shit was that too soon?

GaymeOn: i love me too

Brooty: i take back what i just said

GaymeOn: (i love you too you dork)