Night was no longer a time for sleeping. It seemed as though no time was safe for sleep anymore. He kept watch while Arcia slept, yet he had trouble sleeping when he lay to rest.
It wasn't that he lacked trust in her, and it wasn't that the occasional gunshot troubled him.
It was just that...
When he slept, dreams came. Dreams came roaring at him, leaving him feeling less rested than he’d been before. More than once Arcia had forcibly woken him, fearing he'd hurt himself with his thrashing.
"It's a stupid question, but do you want to sleep?" Arcia asked, breaking the silence between them as she paced through the empty room of the empty building they were currently in.
It was odd to be the only people in an entire town, especially when his memories of the town were clear. It had been a bustling city, and now, because... Sometimes he wondered what Arcia was thinking, if she had somehow stumbled upon the truth. He wondered if he'd cried it out at night in his sleep.
"No," Sieg replied. "But I should try."
With just his coat as a blanket and his arms as a pillow, Sieg laid facing away from where Arcia sat. She'd picked up a stray book from another room and was flipping through it idly, far from as unalert to danger as she appeared. Still, the building seemed safe enough for the time being.
Sieg closed his eyes, knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep for some time. Instead he was stuck with his thoughts, his questions. He'd always wonder the same things, knowing answers would always elude him.
Victor kept asking him why, but he wanted to yell the same thing back. He wanted to ask why as well. Years ago he and Victor had stepped across the line of friendship to something more. It had been a natural thing, about the same time that Siela and Victor had done the same thing. No ill feelings ever passed between them, even as dynamics changed.
There had never been jealousy, never. Sieg remembered clearly the joy he felt when he saw Siela so happy, well aware that his own bliss with Victor never hit that level and never would.
Yet not all of the feelings truly left. Sieg knew he would always keep a special love for Victor deep within him. And that was why he hoped he could still save Victor.