There are so many things for Washington to adjust to, so many things that are difficult about this new life for him. The training is rough, but that was to be expected, and he’s not one to let himself look so weak, or to admit that sometimes it’s difficult for him to keep up. That being said, that’s entirely true, and there are so many situations that he never would have expected to cause him problems, and there are so many times when he’s made to feel every bit as weak as he never wanted to admit he is.
The most unexpected, yet biggest problem, that he faces from the beginning, is the strength of his bladder.
Admittedly, he’s had his... problems before, but those were almost exclusively at night, and, as far as he knows, that’s not that abnormal. Sure, it made growing up hell since he couldn’t exactly spend the night with anyone, but, for the most part, he’s over that, and what few instances occur ...well, that’s not a big deal, nothing he can’t handle and cover up before anyone else finds out.
But during training, when he absolutely doesn’t want to try to take a break for any reason, the strength of his bladder becomes a very important factor. There are even times when taking a break isn’t an option, and so often, he finds himself pushed to his absolute limit, so full he can hardly walk, let alone not tip anyone off to the state he’s in. The fact that he’s never been called out is something that he considers a blessing.
Training with North isn’t too bad, Wash thinks. The two of them get along well, and he’s not too harsh on him, and he’s sure that if it ever got to a point where he really needed to take a break, he could, without being pestered about it. Of course, that doesn’t change the fact that he still isn’t willing to do something like that.
Still, it’s nice to have somebody he can be more at ease around, and he values the time they spend together. It’s during such a time that he first feels a twinge in his bladder that he does his best to ignore. By now, Wash is always doing what he can to ignore those sensations, even when they get past unbearable. Today is no different, and he focuses on the task at hand, pushing his needs to the back of his mind.
They spar for a few hours, trying out different things, and all the while, Wash tries to ignore any signs that he needs to take a break to go piss. It gets to a point where each movement feels like it’s putting further pressure on his bladder, and ignoring it completely is absolutely impossible. Each sharp throb tells him that he’s well past the point where he should have excused himself, but he forces himself to keep holding on. As long as North can’t tell that there’s anything wrong, then he’s just fine, he tells himself.
It’s far from the first time he’s found himself doing all he can to maintain his composure and conceal his needs from one of his comrades, but that doesn’t make it any easier, especially when they take a brief water break. Now would be the perfect time to excuse himself, as he wouldn’t even have to make any real excuses, but he’s sure that it’ll be obvious either way and, like an idiot, he decides to keep it to himself.
And, like an idiot, he drinks alongside North and just makes the problem worse.
By the time they return to sparring, he feels like he’s absolutely going to burst, and even so, he keeps it to himself and keeps pushing himself a little bit further. His bladder aches so much now that he keeps his teeth grit, and can hardly focus on anything other than clenching his muscles and doing everything he can to keep from pissing himself in front of one of his superiors.
“You keeping up alright?” North asks suddenly, and he nearly jumps out of his skin, freezing for a moment. He wonders if North has already seen right through him, and he squeezes his thighs together- or, he tries to, but it’s difficult like this- without even realizing that he’s doing it.
“Yeah, of course!” he says, a bit more defensively than he intended. Because that’s the way to keep him from getting suspicious, of course.
“I didn’t mean anything by it.” Now, North sounds a little hurt, which makes Wash feel bad on top of everything else. “Listen, I know you’ve been pushing yourself really hard lately, and I just wanted to let you know that-”
“You really don’t have to worry about me,” he interrupts, not really sure what to make of all of this. Things are getting suddenly very serious, and he has way too much on his mind to worry about bonding, or whatever this is.
“What’s wrong with me worrying about one of my friends?” asks North, and even though his face is covered, Wash can practically see the easy smile on his face. A smile he kind of likes, but, holy shit, why is he even thinking about that right now? Or at all?
“Let’s just get back to it,” he mumbles, but he’s gone so stiff in their time still, and he wonders if he’s even going to be able to get back to it.
“If that’s what you want, but seriously, any time is anything is bothering you...you can at least tell me about it, alright?”
Shit, shit, shit, he thinks, I’m really not okay, am I?
Just standing around, talking and not doing anything else to distract himself has only made things worse, and now, the first step he takes causes such a sharp pang to shoot through his lower abdomen that he hisses, and nearly doubles over before he catches himself. He’s going to leak, he just knows it, and, dignity be damned, he has to excuse himself before he completely humiliates himself.
“On second thought, can we...can I…” Come on, spit it out, he tells himself, and he can’t believe that even now he can’t bring himself to just come out and say it , while he’s trembling and aching, and barely able to hold it in at all.
“Huh? What is it?” Now, he knows that North is staring directly at him, most likely with concern, and that just makes it all the worse. He can’t stop shaking and he can hardly breathe, and it’s going to be obvious now just how pathetic he is, and, oh fuck , there’s no way he’s going to make it now-
“I need to…” He can’t say it, he really can’t say it, and now he’s doubled over and North is coming closer, and he wants to tell him to go , to get away before he...before he…
“Oh, do you have to-?” The question hangs in the air, answered before it’s finished, as Wash falls to his knees and his bladder gives out on him. North stands right there in front of him, and even though his armor does a good job of hiding any visual evidence, Wash knows that his behavior has made it plenty obvious, and, if he were going to piss himself, he would have been better off not saying anything and doing it , because at least then he might have been able to get away with it.
“Shit,” he mutters, staring at the ground, feeling tears welling up. Even as it empties, his bladder still aches terribly, and the warm piss fills every crevice of his armor and he knows damn well that walking around like this is going to be so uncomfortable, and cleaning it is going to be a bitch .
The ache remains long after he’s completely empty, and the silence in the room is nearly deafening. He won’t look up, but he knows North is still there, staring at him, and any moment now, he’s going to have to say something, most likely to make fun of him. Like hell he is ever going to be able to live this one down, not once North tells everyone what happened, and he’s sure that the other man will.
But when he finally breaks the silence, all he says is, “Feel better?” in a soft voice, without any traces of mocking.
“I guess,” he mutters. “Not really, since I...you know. Did that .”
“I get why you didn’t say anything,” says North, and, though he wants to doubt him, it really sounds like he does understand. “But you shouldn’t push yourself that hard in training. I know there might be some who disagree with me, but it is just training. I can understand wanting to push your limits, but once you’re at your limit...I dunno, it’s okay if you want to stop.”
This is, more than likely, the most humiliating thing that Wash has ever experienced, and yet, there’s something else. He can’t quite explain what, just something . It could be caused by the concern North shows him, that feels out of place, or it could be something to do with the humiliation, or a combination of both? It’s hardly the right time to try to figure out what on earth he’s feeling, but the feelings are still there, pooling in the pit of his stomach until he realizes, to his horror, that he’s actually turned on by some part of this.
“Here,” says North, reaching a hand down to help him up. Wash hesitantly takes it, and lets North pull him to his feet. “Do you want some help? I mean, getting cleaned up and everything is gonna be kind of difficult.”
“That...that really isn’t necessary,” he mumbles. He knows that North is just being nice, and that it’s probably rude to turn him down when he’s just trying to help, but now he’s got another problem entirely to deal with, and he’s not so sure North will be able to handle that one so casually and helpfully.
Wait, do I want him to help me out with that?!
“Come on, I insist.” North pulls off his helmet then, giving Wash a smile that causes a fresh twinge in his stomach. Well, he supposes that answers that question, which is all the more reason not to let him help, and yet…
And yet he finds himself saying, “Alright,” before he can stop himself. Immediately, he mentally curses himself, and as they walk together, he tries his damnedest to turn himself back off , before things get out of hand. He tries everything he can think of, but nothing works, and he’s still just as hard once North starts to help him out of his armor.
He goes completely stiff, frozen in place and with absolutely no idea what he should do now, panic overtaking him. Before he even realizes it, North already has him mostly out of his armor and he’s done little to help, and any second now, he’s going to see-
The soft gasp tells Wash that his worst fear has been realized, and the awkward silence that hangs in the air only further confirms it. North doesn’t say anything, and neither does he, and he isn’t sure what the hell there is to say, in a situation like this.
“I’ve got it from here,” he finally mumbles, pulling back a bit, as if he could actually pretend that North didn’t notice.
“Really?” asks North.
There’s a pause before the other man gives an awkward laugh and says, “I probably shouldn’t say this, huh?”
“That if you want me to help you out with... that , all you gotta do is ask.”
“I-I don’t…know what…”
“Listen.” North sighs, shaking his head. “I’m kinda glad I’m not the only one who liked that whole situation way more than I should have. Honestly, if you liked it too, then I don’t have to feel guilty, right?”
Now things are moving too fast for Wash to keep up with, and all he can ask is, “Guilty?”
“Well, yeah, you seemed pretty upset, so if I was into it, that’d be kind of a dick move, right?” he asks. “But, if it’s not just me…”
“Wait, so you’re saying you want to…?!”
“Hey, we only have to do as much as you want. And we probably shouldn’t do anything, but I won’t tell if you won’t.” When North winks at him, his heart skips a beat. “So, if you want, why don’t you just let me help you out for a little bit?”
There are plenty of reasons why he shouldn’t, the fact that he just pissed himself in front of this man one of the biggest. There is also the fact that North is one of his superiors, that this is hardly the place to pursue a relationship like this, that he didn’t even realized he wanted something like this until just now , and doing something so impulsively can lead to so many problems down the road...there are more reasons not to do this than to do this, but his voice comes out hoarse as he says, “Alright.”
Freeing his hands, North nudges Wash gently, leading him to sit down and sitting beside him. He has no qualms about touching the pants Wash has completely soaked through, getting his cock out and wrapping his hand around it so quickly that Wash is left gasping pathetically. Sure, the other man’s hand doesn’t feel too different from his own, but the fact that it’s someone else’s hand is enough to make all the difference.
“Just relax,” North murmurs, “and let me take care of everything for you.”
As if he really has any choice, considering how he goes to pieces over such little contact. He must have been more hard up than he realized, or maybe he’s just a hell of a lot more into North than he realized. This has all escalated so quickly, but as North starts slowly working his hand up and down, he finds that he can’t really think about that, or anything else, at all.
Wash whimpers, tilting his head back, praying that he’s not finished too quickly. To do that right after today’s little “incident” might be more humiliation than he can bear, but, apparently, he likes humiliation? But, just like anything else, his head is swimming too much for him to really focus, and North’s grip tightens just barely, and he lets out a squeak.
“I’ve got you,” says North, his voice low and soothing, and if he weren’t fighting with all he had, Wash would have probably lost it right then and there. Even as he speaks, North’s hand starts to move more quickly, taking his cues from every gasp and moan Wash gives him, every sound of pleasure that he earns. “You like that, right?”
“Y-yeah.” He can just barely manage to speak, can just barely manage to gasp that out, as he grows closer. Too fast for his taste, still, but he can at least be glad he wasn’t done in an instant, like he initially feared. Of course, he’s sure that that’s partially due to the fact that North is only using his hand, and if he were to have done anything else, Wash would have been completely lost.
“You’re almost there, aren’t you?” he asks with a little hum, and he doesn’t need an answer, not with the way Wash reacts when he picks up speed again, his rhythm quick, yet steady.Wash doesn’t even have it in him to nod, he just lets out another whimper, and North chuckles and says, “Yeah, I know you are. Like I said, you just need to relax.”
Relaxed doesn’t seem like the right way to describe it, considering Wash is so tense now, right on the edge, fighting to prolong this as much as he can, even knowing that there’s no shame in giving in now, not if North insists on it. Still, he tries to draw it out as much as he can, pushing his limits similarly to how he did before.
Yeah, he seriously has a thing for that, it seems.
But, whether he wants to hold out or not, it’s no longer up to him, and North leans forward, so close that his mouth is near Wash’s ear, and he whispers, “Come on, it’s fine if you want to go ahead and come for me, alright?”
He says it more like a suggestion than anything else, but the way Wash gives in, it might as well have been an outright order, he’s so helpless to resist. His voice is so broken when he moans that it’s barely audible, and he completely loses his senses for a moment, feeling nothing but the numbing pleasure.
It takes him quite some time to come down from that, and when he does, his first thought is that now he’s made even more of a mess of himself, but that he also really doesn’t care about the additional cleanup. His breathing is still labored as he recovers, and when he looks back at North, the other man is giving him the same casual, gentle smile. For a moment, he’s freshly humiliated, having behaved so shamelessly in front of him, and he looks down, his face hot.
“Sorry if that was too far for you,” North says, upon seeing his reaction. “Like I said, we only have to do as much as you want.”
“N-no, it’s not that,” he mumbles. “That was just...more intense than I expected.” Seriously, who knew it would be like that just cos it’s someone else’s hand!
“Oh, good,” replies North, looking relieved. “I was afraid I might have pressured you into it. I wouldn’t mind going further next time, if you’re up for it.”
Wash pauses to think about this for a second. Today has moved so quickly, in such a strange direction, that it’s hard to wrap his head around all of it. What started as one of the most humiliating things he’s ever experienced has turned into something incredibly unexpected, from his discovery of what he supposes is a new kink and the development of something between him and North, whatever that something may be. And, as weird as all of it is, none of it is unpleasant, and so, he looks back up, nodding.
“Yeah,” he says, “I’m up for it.”