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My Thumbs Inside Your Mouth

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He leans forward to cover the rest of the tab as she stands, his breath catching in his throat and  his eyelids dropping closed as she settles her coat and she’s all he can smell. When he opens his eyes again she’s staring up at him, lips barely parted and wanting.

He’s not sure it’s enough.

He takes her in slowly, pretending he’s not memorizing what he’s seeing (because he may not have a lot of his pride, but he likes to cling to what he does), knowing they might leave in separate cabs, knowing they might be worse off after tonight. He makes sure she knows he wants her too, tonight, before he turns to lead the way to the door. There’s a cab available and he stops a few feet away, rocks a little.

‘Why don’t you take the first one?’ She narrows her eyes at him, trying to work out exactly what he’s not saying. He eyes her cleavage, lets his gaze trace up her open scarf, along her throat, linger briefly on her lips, before he meets her eyes. She bites her lip, stumbling forward when someone knocks into her in their rush to take the waiting cab. She looks torn and he’s willing to wait.

‘Come with me,’ it’s quiet enough he can barely hear it. If he were making a point he’d make her say it again, but he’s not making a point. He’s almost surprised by how much this isn’t about making a point.

He steps forward and slips his hands under her coat and around her waist as he kisses her, runs gentle fingers down her spine when her knuckles go white gripping his lapels.

They don’t touch on the cab ride, retain a respectable distance in the elevator. He lets himself curl in towards her, leaning against the wall as she unlocks her door.

He’s tentative inside her apartment. He pushed for this, sure, but he doesn’t actually want to make her uncomfortable. She deposits her keys in the dish and raises a slightly amused eyebrow before she leads the way to the bedroom without a word.

When he follows her in she’s slipping out of her jacket, her scarf tossed on the dresser. He starts unzipping her dress before her jacket’s all the way off her arms and she shoots him a small smile over her shoulder. He kisses her hungrily, his hands holding her still against him with the back of her dress gaping open against his shirt.

There’s a Kalinda-sound from the back of her throat and he starts to ruck the dress up her stomach just a little. She leans into it and he starts draw away, but she scrabbles at his thighs with the hands that are still caught in her jacket pinned between them. He bucks a little at her nails digging in through his pants, but her smile turns into a gasp when he starts dragging the hem of her dress up the inside of her leg. He stops at the top of her thigh, dropping his other hand to slide them both up under high enough to drag down her stockings down her hips.

‘Take them off,’ he pulls back to pull his own shirt off, not stupid enough to try and deal with her boots.

He licks his lips and slides his hands up her ribs with a dopey grin that gives her secondhand embarrassment even as she tries to catch her breath. He moves back up the bed and kisses her soft and sweet, his hands gentle on her face and neck. Even as he still tastes like her the satisfaction that comes from the want in his kisses starts to be outweighed by the panic licking at her edges from his earnestness and she pushes him back, rolls them over.

She uses a hand on his chest to balance as she reaches for a condom and the weight of the pressure dissolves his protest. He licks his lips as she looms over him and she smirks before she moves down the bed. He shifts to watch and her eyes stay locked on his as she licks the full length of his cock once before rolling the condom on. She drops down as fast as she can and clenches her fist in the sheet because god that was stupid. She hopes he didn’t notice and sets a punishing pace, trying to forget how much she’s missed him.

‘Kalinda,’ his voice is rough and desperate as he tries to pull her back up. He stretches up to meet her when she goes to kiss him, both of them all teeth and open mouths. He rolls them over and when she shudders a gasp as he slides into her she pretends it’s only the sensation.

He pants into the crook of her neck, lets himself collapse to the side. It means his head is pillowed on her shoulder. Kalinda kisses his temple, runs her fingers along his side, and doesn’t call him on it. The silence is surprisingly comfortable, given their recent interactions. She can’t help breaking it.

‘Are we friends?’ He jerks to look up at her and Kalinda looks away.


‘Never mind,’ she shakes her head quickly, trying to scoot out from under him. He shifts, but it’s only to pin her down more firmly. He studies her carefully and she won’t look at him, she can’t. She waits stiffly for the chance to get him out of her apartment. He cups her neck firmly, tightening his grip a little so she’ll look at him.

‘Yeah.’ She watches him and he looks a little surprised by his own vehemence. She relaxes under him.

‘’Kay,’ he nods a little uncertainly and she trails her fingernails up his side as a distraction. ‘Hey, what’s with the new flair, anyway?’

He stiffens a little, then shrugs over her, smirking showily. ‘Oh, you know, I’m my own boss now.’ Kalinda frowns, flattening her palms against his ribs.

‘You didn’t feel-’

‘No, no it’s not... it’s not that. It’s just... I dunno,’ he starts to pull away and she buries her hand in his hair. He relaxes a little, pressing a kiss to her collarbone.

‘Besides,’ she adds when he’s relaxed into her enough, ‘its a pretty nice view.’ He laughs into her neck, but then he rolls up suddenly, one thigh sliding hard between her legs.

‘Fuck, Cary.’

‘Good?’ He pauses, cautious, and she digs her nails into his side.

‘Don’t you dare stop.’

He bears down as she bucks up and his cock drags against the sweaty skin of her stomach. They find a rhythm, even though she’s only riding his leg and he’s only thrusting against her abdomen. (It is so much better than it should be.) He’s cupping her face and their kisses are sloppy-sweet and she should be mad but she just keeps holding him. The texture of the drag is enough to get her off, and he’s not far behind. (The thoughts are pushed away as fast as they come, but Kalinda can’t help wondering if she’ll be ruined for legs that aren’t this wide, with hair this coarse, and Cary if he’ll ruined for abdomens that aren’t this smooth and soft.) This time she rolls with him when he collapses to the side and their legs end up tangled together. He torques to grab a tissue from the side table behind him and then again to toss it in the garbage. She watches the muscles shift absently, objectively appreciative and just a little oddly fond. He turns back and shoots her a little smiling frown at whatever face she’s making, then pauses.

‘Here you’ve got-’ He licks his thumb absently and wipes at the edge of her eye. Kalinda raises her eyebrows as he draws back and Cary blushes. She chuckles and traces the shell of his ear and pretends this isn’t so strange. He drags his knuckles down her ribs to squeeze her waist and kisses her sweet without the sloppy.

Fuck it, Kalinda thinks, any worrying can wait for tomorrow.

There is a groan next to Kalinda’s head and her alarm bleating and she is so disoriented. She hasn’t woken with someone else in her own bed in a decade. Kalinda hates being disoriented.

Everything smells like Cary and sex though, and that’s not entirely unfamiliar even if she’s never woken up to it. She starts untangling their legs and he wakes up enough to help before she starts to get panicky. Cary looks a little unsure and Kalinda slide out of bed, feeling antsy.

‘Why don’t you take a shower, I’ll put some coffee on.’ She turns away, starting to pull on yoga pants and a tank top, before frowning halfway through pulling her shirt on. ‘There’s a spare toothbrush behind the mirror,’ she offers belatedly.

Kalinda puts the coffee on and pulls the milk out of the fridge, freezing halfway through closing the door. She has eggs.

The shower shuts off and she pulls out four, gathering the other ingredients and setting them up by a bowl. When Cary come in, still toweling his hair, Kalinda is tossing her second eggshell in the garbage. She manages not to do anything embarrassing in spite of the visual, just gesturing with the extra eggs in askance.

‘Sure, thank you.’

They talk about Will and Alicia over breakfast because it seems like a safe subject. He looks awkward when he finishes his eggs, like he doesn’t know what to do with his plate, so she takes it and her own to the sink while he finishes his coffee.

He pauses on her threshold, looking unsure. He looks like he might ask something responsible, like what they’re doing or if anything’s changed, and she doesn’t have the faintest idea. She rises on her tiptoes and presses a chaste kiss to his lips just for the hell of it.

He looks puzzled and she smiles and it works like a charm.

She frowns a little when he swings by to exchange paperwork, eyeing the relatively conservative suit.

‘Cary...’ he holds the file out to her, twisting his upper body, and he can tell the exact moment when the light catches and her discomfort shifts from misplaced concern to inappropriate attraction. She swallows hard and her eyes track from his throat to his belt buckle and back. He smirks.

‘See something you like?’ Her eyes narrow and flick back to his, looking unsure of the right answer. There is no right answer, just how much they want each other and the slight chance that things might, for once, not go to shit. He runs his thumb and forefinger the length of his tie, repositioning it slow and careful without breaking eye contact. ‘You busy tonight?’

‘No,’ but she’s still calculating and a little hesitant.

‘Swing by my place after work then,’ and he can’t keep his eyes crinkling in advance. ‘Just make sure you know what you want with it.’ He flicks his tie just because he can and the way she licks her lips leaves him with no questions, just a stunning visual and a dry mouth of his own. She smirks a little at that, taps the tie over his sternum, lingering a little on the texture as she goes by.