Your name is GAMZEE PEIXES. You are the first male heir to the normally female run Alternian Empire. Despite this fact you really don't care or know to much about what an heir is supposed to do even with your lusus constantly trying to drill it into your thinkpan. This is probably due to the fact that you spend most of your time high on Sopor Slime which is a habit you've been trying to break as of late with the help of your friends. You are more greatful for that then you are any of the privileges your blood caste offers you. Your strife specibus use's trident-club kind as you werent really comfortable with using just a regular trident so having two of the which were basically just big round forks you happened to able to use like a club was really helpful. At least to you it felt more natural.
You're bored. Really bored. Gl'bgolyb was full for the night and your friends are offline. Well that's not entirely true Eridan is online but personally his constant flirting and attempts to suck up to you make Eridan just a tad bit annoying. You don't with mean any offense but it'd be nice if he'd just stop once in awhile. Guy needs a moirail. With nothing better to do you decide to go swimming. You know you'll be safe as for some reason trolls who don't know you tend to stay as far away as possible. It takes a great deal of effort not to pull out some sopor pies to take with you but you promised your friends and your Lusus that you'd quit that habit. To be fair having an heir high out of his mind 24/7 probably can't be all that good for the empire. You start swimming aimlessly with no real destination in mind before deciding that you might as well see what Feferi is up to.
Feferi Makara is one of your oldest friends. Her hive is right on the shore near your hive meaning that she was one if your few friends who you could talk to at anytime both offline and online. You remember back when you first met her. You were mindlessly walking down the coast hoping to bump into a troll who didn't run at the sight of you when you stumbled across her hive. She surprisingly didn't run at the sight of you and was just as confused as you were that most trolls tend to do that. She mentioned that her lusus wasn't around much which might have something to do with it but that just raised even more questions. Why would trolls be raised to be afraid of you? Maybe it had something to do with your bloodcaste? But that's ridiculous as you'd never you that as an excuse to hurt someone. That be like clubbing a kitten to death it's just unnecessarily cruel.
Speaking of bloodcaste you have a feeling that Feferi gets a bad rep with your friends because of her bloodcaste. You find this to be horribly hypocritical as none of your friends ever judged you for your bloodcaste. To be fair, purple bloods have a reputation for being terribly unstable even by highblood standards. You can't help but find this ironic considering she's one of the nicest trolls you've ever met.
Your brought out of your musings by you absentmindedly running into a wall. A quick glance through the window tells you that Feferi isn't home right now. Just an empty hive with an empty coon. A coon with Soper slime in it. No! No! No! You will not start falling back into bad habits! What would your lusus say if she could see you now! Disgusting.
With nothing else to do here and to distance yourself as far from that slime as possible you decide to head to Karkat's hive. Karkat's another old friend of yours who you met through Feferi probably due to the fact that they live pretty close to each other. You first met when you just so happened to stop by Feferi's hive while Karkat was there and you quickly picked up conversation. And by conversation you mean you stood there with a vacant expression while he insulted you. Still the guy's pretty cool all around as Feferi insisted that it wasn't anything personal he just talked to everyone like that. You've grown used to telling when he's actually irritated or when he's just being Karkat. But you still had to wonder why he was like that.
He few nights back you had figured out why. You two were hanging out at his hive when he stubbed his toe on the doorframe and bled red. Bright crimson red. You pretended you hadn't noticed and went to get him a band-aid. You didn't want to worry the poor guy. He's probably pretty paranoid about it and rightfully so. If any other troll had been there you shutter to think what would have happened.
Although that experience had left you wondering. Why was the hemospectrum the way that it was? What made a purple any better then a rust? And why was red outlawed? Red was different sure it was to bright to be low and to dark to be high but in that case why not make the spectrum more like a circle? With red being the bridge between these two ends of the spectrum who knows what the troll species could accomplish. You kept forgetting to ask Gl'bgolyb if you'd have the power to do that. You should work on that.
Your about halfway to Karkat's hive when a sudden hunger strikes you. It's a different kind of hunger then from when you haven't eaten in awhile. It's a hunger for something specific. That's when you realize that your going through withdrawal. You feel your body begin to ache for just the smallest drop of the slime. Just a taste of one of those tasty green pies. But no. You would not back down now. You've been trying to get this far for sweeps only to give in as soon as the craving starts but not this time. You were going to lie their for as long as it took for you not to feel compelled to devour the slime straight from Karkat's recuperacoon as soon as you got to his hive.
Hours pass as you lie in the sand shaking and sweating uncontrollably but you refuse to move. You weren't naive enough to think you could overcome this in just one night. But you could control it just enough so that you could make it to Karkat's hive. You weren't sure why you wanted to go there specifically but maybe you're just stubborn. You were going to go there anyway so why stop now?
You quickly gather your strength as you force yourself to get up. Only for an arrow to whiz past your face putting a light cut on your fin. You turn around to identify your attackers only to make yourself dizzy and you nearly fall on your face. When you manage to look up again you see one of the two (was it two? Four? Six? You couldn't exactly think straight at the moment.) charge at you with a machete. You force one of your trident-clubs out of your strife specibus and use it to block the overhead swing and quickly sommon the other one to knock the weapon out of his hands. It works causing the attacker to growl in frustration as he grabbed your trident-clubs and forced them the ground before grabbing you and kneeing you several times in the gut. Normally such an attack wouldn't even faze you but you weren't exactly at peak condition right now so it ended up hurting a ton. The attacker rased his fist to punch you in the face but you grab his hand mid punch before effortlessly crushing it and punching him with your other hand causing lime green blood to start spilling from his face. As the lime blood stumbles you pick up your trident-clubs and proceed to throw a clumsy drunken swing which just so happens to hit one of his legs breaking it. As the limeblood falls the other troll proceeds to keep firing arrows at you. Had this been you at literally any other time you could catch the arrow easily but as it stands the arrow goes straight through your ribs and punctures a lung. As he goes to draw the next arrow from his quiver you decide to pick the limeblood up and throw him at his comrade. As the two are knocked to the floor the archer is disarmed of his bow and finds himself unable to lift his apparently higherblooded companion off of him. You shamble towards the two defeated assilants as the archer begins to threaten you from under is unconscious compatriot.
"You highblood filth! You think you can take whatever you want! You have no right to be her-"
He's interrupted as you proceed to vomit all over him.
Oh right. Drug withdrawal. Kind of the only reason this fight wasn't over in a nanosecond.
You decide that being stuck under an unconscious friend before being vomited on was punishment enough for the rebel you begin to start making your way to Karkat's hive again this time a noticeable shambling as you are barely able to walk straight. After who knows how long you finally make it to Karkat's hive. You knock on the door before collapsing right on top of him as soon as he opens it.
Your name is KARKAT VANTAS and your best friend just collapsed on top of you. You aren't even sure if he passed out or just collapsed but he sure isn't responding to any of your yells of frustration.
"Gamzee what the hell?! Get off me!"
He lets out a pained groan which causes you to pause. What happened to him?
"...Gamzee? Are you okay?"
He gives you another pained groan before rolling over off of you.
"Sorry bro. I'm not feeling to good."
It's at this point you realize that there's an arrow sticking out of his chest.
"Gamzee! What happened!?"
He looks over at you revealing a cut across one of the fins on his face.
"Some motherfuckers attacked me on my way here. Woulda been fine if I hadn't just gone cold turkey."
"How the duck were you able to fight while going through drug withdrawal? You could have been killed! Hell! You should have been killed given those odds! I knew Fushia bloods were tough but that's insane!"
"Weren't that tough given how easily I could break bones. Easily given the circumstances I mean."
Deciding now was not the time to be questioning your friend's sanity you decide to get up and drag him to a nearby couch so you can try and get that arrow out of his chest. Gamzee for his part didn't seem to care to much about being dragged across the floor but then again he didn't seem to care to much about anything. You were definitely going to need stitches. The arrow looked deep enough to at least puncture a lung if not go through it completely. You decide to get help from your lusus.
"Crabdad! Get some stitches out from under the sink!"
"Yes I need them quickly otherwise I wouldn't have asked you!"
You can hear him grumbling in the other block as he goes to get some stitches. Now you just needed to get this thing out of- ...what?
Apparently, while you were distracted Gamzee had already pulled the arrow from his chest and, to your surprise, the hole in his chest had healed itself over.
"Don't look so surprised bro. Seadwellers heal quickly."
"Not that quickly they don't!"
Are Fushias really this strong? You had heard rumors but this was obsurd. In fact, now that you looked again the cut on his fin was gone too. Gamzee tilted his head.
"I thought all seadwellers could heal that fast?"
"Well, they can't."
"Huh, learn something new every night."
"Well, since your no longer bleeding all over the floor let's clean this mess up."
Gamzee tried to get up and then nearly fell on top of you.
"I'll clean this mess up."
You turn to the door again.
"HEY CRABDAD. NEVERMIND THE STITCHES JUST GET A MOP."
"I DID NEED STITCHES BUT NOW I NEED A MOP!"
Eventually Crabdad came back with a mop, noticed the pink blood on the floor and shot a questioning look at you and Gamzee.
"He showed up with an arrow in his chest now just give me the thing."
As you began to mop the mess in the entryway Crabdad gives you a questioning scree.
"What! No dad! We aren't moirails we're just good friends!"
Crabdad nodded in a 'sure you are' way and promptly left. You looked up at Gamzee to see if he had any response but he looked like he fell asleep.
You are once again GAMZEE PEIXES and you just woke up in Karkat's hive. The events of the previous night slowly come to you as you realize that the effects of drug withdrawal aren't lingering over you the same way they were last night. They were still there but they weren't as strong as they were before. Instead now you noticed that reality seemed much clearer to you now then it ever had before. Everything seemed so much more real. Gone was the shaking, sweating, and the urge to vomit that last night brought, we'll for the most part. You still felt a little twitchy but at least you no longer felt like Equius walking in on a porno.
You get up with far more mental clarity then you've had I'm sweeps and decide that you should probably get something for Gl'bgolyb to eat before she decides to wipe out all of troll kind. But first you'd better let Karkat know what's up.
"Hey bro, you still here?"
No response. You assume he's busy doing something and decide to just leave a note.
It's been a week since that event and you're bored again. After the brief chuckle that you got out of the wall of worried texts on your husktop Karkat never really brought it up again. At least, not outside of the occasional text concerning your well being.
In the time you've had Gl'bgoylyb bring you up to speed on what it means to be heir to the throne. Suddenly, Eridan constantly sucking up to you and trolls running at the sight of you makes a lot more sense considering you have the means and authority to kill them at any time. Gl'bgoylyb was ecstatic when you told her you were finally off your drugs. In fact, you think it's the happiest you've ever seen her. To be fair, it's probably hard to show how happy you are when just talking in a normal tone of voice is enough to destroy most of trollkind. It's just occurred to you that you haven't told your friends yet. Wow, that is shameful. As if on cue your husktop rings.
Well you'll just open up trollian and- WHAT THE HELL! Your husktop just exploded. Suddenly you get a call on your phone.
"Gamzee! Are you okay!"
"Can you explain to me why my husktop just exploded?"
"Yeah I should of thought about that before I sent you that message. Sollux told me somethings been going on with Trollian lately so he and Feferi are trying to fix."
"It's a bit of a physical problem. Some nooksucker is sending viruses to everyone through Trollian and he has some kind of field around his hive that keeps psionics from working. Feferi is one of the few trolls who lives close to the guy and is physically fit enough to deal with any bullshit she might find there."
"Oh, so what'd you call me for?"
"Meet me at my hive right now."
Well, that was vague.
"Hey bro, I'm here. Not quite sure why you had to be so vague though. What do you need?"
As you enter Karkat's hive you notice that he seems unusually serious, grim even. Well, grimer than usual.
"Gamzee, do you know what it means to be heir right?"
"Well, sure I do bro. It means I'll be running this joint when I'm older."
"Yeah, if you survive."
You tilt your head quizzically.
"Gamzee, in order to become ruler of Alternia you'll have to kill the Condescension you know that right."
That sent you through a loop.
"But... that's not fair. I can't kill my ancestor. Without them I wouldn't be here. That'd be motherfucking cruel."
"You think she gives a shit? Gamzee, how many heiresses do you think she's killed before you? She commits genocide when she gets bored and is constantly conquering galaxies. Alternia would be better off without her."
"I know bro but... can't we just lock her up or something I mean - she's blood. She's related to me."
"Alternia isn't going to except just locking her up. They've been ruled over by her for gog-knows-how-long. Not to mention they'll think you're weak if you spare her and she's never going to stop trying to get her throne back."
"Well, I guess you have a point but what am I supposed to do?"
"You need to start training. You'll need to be prepared if you want any chance of killing her."
It has been 2 and a half sweeps since then and now the time has come to face your destiny. Tonight's the night. The night you fight the empress. You decide to take one last look around your hive before the transport shows up.
You take your time going through every room, taking a good look at everything you ever had growing up. Because tonight you'll either die or become Alternia's first emperor. Either way you're not coming back.
"Goodbye mom." You say to your lusus with tears in your eyes. How could you be expected to forever say goodbye to the being who raised you? Suddenly, for the first time in what feels like forever, you heard her speak to you in your mind.
"Do not worry child. I will always be with you. Know this, out of all my children for thousands of sweeps you are one of my most gifted. Where others were cruel you were kind. Those whom others would have killed you accepted. It's refreshing to have a child who truly cared for his people. You have overcome a challenge that no other heir or heiress could possibly have beaten not through strength but through your love for your friends. Your moirail-"
"It's not like that mom."
"Oh, hush now. Your moirail has given you strength none can match and he will always help you through thick and thin. And while I might not no the outcome of the fight I do no that, win or loss, I will always be with you. Always."
You sniffle a little and give her a hug.
"I love you, Mom."
"I love you to Gamzee, now go make your mother proud."
After a long and heartfelt hug you begin to swim up to the surface.
You find Karkat waiting for you on the shore once you reach the surface.
"About time you showed up. I've been waiting for hours, dumbass."
"Nice, you see you too bro."
Karkat had gotten a lot bulkier over the sweeps. Granted most trolls still were a lot taller but he made up for it with a sturdy, muscular build. He was impressively more fit even if he wasn't six pack level or anything yet. Unlike you who actually does have a six pack but is still surprising skinny in spite of your newfound muscles. Seems like all that training paid off for the both of you.
"So someone gonna pick us up or are we gonna have to go somewhere?" You asked.
"They should be here in a few minutes."
After some research you and Karkat had figured out that someone was supposed to pick you up. It wasn't the job of any specific troll to give the heiress a ride to what was likely her death as it seemed to just depend on whoever's closest.
Regardless, you are still rather surprised by the sudden sight of the Grand Highblood's flagship popping right out of lightspeed directly above you.
(A few minutes earlier)
You are now the Grand Highblood. You have just woken up after having slept in and you already have someone calling you. Must be important otherwise they'd just use Trollian. You check the number: Meenah, oh this should be fun.
"Wadda ya want."
"What? I need a reason to call now? Shell's up with dat."
"It has to be something or you woulda just messaged me."
"Maybe I just like hearing your voice."
"I'd like to think your more frond of my physical aspects."
"I hear you wiggling your eyebrows at me boyu."
"Well, it's true."
"Alright, enough dirty talk. I need you to swim on over and pick up heiress for me to cull."
"I'm over at the other end of the galaxy. You just wanna pail me after don't ya?"
"Shell yes I do, now get your hot bass over here."
Well, this isn't what you expected. When you arrived on shore you found an heir rather then an heiress. But that's not what bothered you. What bothered you is the fact that he looked a lot like you. Sure, he was skinny but that face and his hair. His voice and his mannerisms. He was a lot like you. This is a problem.
"Hey, fuckass. Are we gonna go or are you just going to stare into the void forever."
The hell? Who's this mirthless idiot? In your stupor you hadn't noticed the short brick of a troll standing right next to the heir. Just one quick glance at him and your already suspicious of this guy. He's wearing hemo-anonymous clothing for one and he's acting like it's his right to just waltz in on royal business.
"Who the motherfuck are you?"
"Good for you. Fuck off."
"I'm with him."
"Like motherfuck you are. Unless your in his quadrents you need to screw off."
Suddenly the heir steps between you and him.
"I'm not leaving without him."
You look between the two of them as if to say 'the hell?' and then it dawns on you.
"Oh he's your moirail ain't he?"
"It's not like that."
"Sure it isn't. Fine then. Come on. We don't want to keep the empress waiting. Also, don't touch anything or, unless you can come up with the most hilarious joke I've heard all night, your ass is paint."
You get some other brother, Brecka you think, to send the heir and his moirail to their blocks. You needed to talk to Meenah about this.
"Chica, we need to talk."
"Boyu, what's wrong? Fucker not show up."
"It's not that. It's just he looks a lot like me."
"Did I hear you right? How the shell did that happen?"
"I'm pretty sure you know how it happened. You were there."
"Well yeah. But a guy! That never happens."
You shrugged even though she couldn't see you over the phone.
"I look like a doctorturer to you?"
"...You don't want me krill him do you? I mean you clowns have that family thing going on and to be honest... I don't think I'd be able to."
You've never heard her this serious before.
"What do you mean?"
"Kurloz, I've seen you get vaporized and come back! I can't kill that! And I aught to know how much stamina you have! I can't tire him out either!"
There was a long silence as you realize that your matesprite might actually die. Killed by your own decendent too. And if she wins she would have to kill him. Rules are rules and just because she makes them doesn't mean that everyone would be happy with her decision. This sort of thing had been done for decades, highbloods would riot and protest and that's not something that she can afford. The revolutions lead by the Signless and the Summoner nearly brought the empire to its knees and they were both lowbloods. Hell, one of them wasn't even violent. If a highblood led a revolt at best the empire would be crippled, at worst you would both be overthrown.
"Kurloz, I don't want to die."
Your bloodpusher ached, at this moment your Matesprite felt mortal, probably for the first time in her life. And there was nothing you could do about it.
You stay silent. What can you do? Lie? Say everything was going to be alright? There is no way either of you can win this. Ether your decendent or your matesprite is going to die and the best case scenario for her has her having to live with the fact that she took something so precious away from you. Worse is that she doesn't seem to think that's even possible.
Finally she laughs. It's not the young over confident laugh you fell for but a sad laugh at a cruel joke played against her.
"You know, everytime I thought of somefin like this happening I always laughed it off as an impossibility. None of my heiresses could threaten me and if I found something I couldn't beat you'd be able to beat them. And now that I finally found something I have no answer for my biggest regret isn't over how weak I am, it's not over how naive I was for not thinking of this possibility. It's over how little time I spent with you."
"Chica, you don't have to-"
"Oh, shadup. And Kurloz, take care of the wriggler for me. Show'em the ropes and make sure he does a good job. Maybe even bond with him a little. Cause if the empire flops under his rule I'm haunting you."
"I probably wouldn't mind if you did."
"Then I'll feed your soul to the horrorterrors instead."
You flopped back into your coon and begin to process all this. A no win situation made just for you. If this had happened to almost any other troll you would have found it hilarious. But this, this hurts.
You immediately shoot up and look straight at the door.
Your decendent steps through the door.
"How long were you listening?"
He looked sympathetic. He walked up and sat down next to you on the coon.
"What are you doing here anyway?"
"Got bored. Figured I'd look around."
There was a brief silence as he probably didn't know what to say. He probably heard everything Meenah said to, she has crazy good hearing and she can hear what a person is saying to you on the other end of the phone while in another block.
You decide to change the subject before he can ask questions.
"So your moirail-"
"Shut up. What blood color is he?"
He looks at you hesitantly and after a brief bit of mental debating he responds.
"What like rust?"
"No, red. Mutant red."
Huh, well wadda ya know.
"Like Signless? I pailed that guy ya know you know."
"Oh, don't worry it was consensual. We were both drunk though so IDK if it can be counted as serious. It was extremely awkward when we woke up the next night considering he was leaning pail towards me and the fact that by law I was supposed to kill him so I was just like 'sorry bro no can do, how about I use your paint for my shipping wall instead' and the he papped me and I'm like 'bro, I said no' and then his guardian walked in and pulled a chainsaw and-"
"I don't need to know."
He was plugging his ears now. You took this as your sign to shut up.
Then he asked a question.
"Does the empress know?"
"She knows I get around. She's cool with it."
"Alright but I think it's time you stop dodging the big thing."
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean."
You sigh. Damn, you were hoping that story would scare him off. Well no dodging this now.
"Fine, I admit it. He had the biggest bulge I'd ever seen on a troll."
"NOT WHAT I MEANT! CANNOT UNSEE!"
"Oh, well what did you mean?"
"You and the empress. You have a lot you need to tell her before the big event. You can't dodge it and we're going to be there in a few minutes. I suggest that you write a list or something since I doubt it'll come to you all at once."
That... was a valid point.
"Alright I'll get on that. Thanks. What's your name?"
"Gamzee Peixes. Yours?"
"Kurloz Makara. Although everyone calls me the Grand Highblood."
"Gamzee where the fuck were you!?"
"Hanging with GHB. Seeing as how he's apparently my ancestor I figured I'd get to know him."
"Well, learn anything?"
"He pailed your ancestor."
Your name is GAMZEE PEIXES and you're about to fight Her Imperious Condescension.
This is it. Your destiny.
She sat in front off you on her enormous throne hee normally smug, overconfident posture gone replaced by a dead serious glare, her eyes locked on to you. Despite this she still carried a royal, powerful aura about her. With out saying a word she stood up and almost instantly she was upon you. She struck with the force of a supernova and the speed needed to escape a black hole as you barely blocked each attack, her moves to quick to parry. She knows she can't win but she's going to put you through hell before she surrenders her empire to you. If any other then the Grand Highblood were spectating then the two of you would be fading in and out of existence.
During one of Meenah's stronger but slower attacks you manage to land a kick to her knee which is followed by a blunt hit to her stomach by your trident. This attack leaves you vulnerable as she grabs your trident before you can retract it and pulls it out of your grasp.
After thus she begins attacking your with both her trident and yours but her preference for for a single weapon is evident in that her attacks are slower then before and her movements less fluid, allowing you to evade her blows by millimeters at most.
You manage to jump over one of her low sweeping strikes, getting behind her and grabbing her by the hair.
You begin to spin and soon you've thrown her into a nearby pillar dropping her weapons. But she recovers quickly and lunges at you turning what was once an elegant desplay of trident on trident combat into a vicious physical brawl.
At this point any restraint any of you might have had is gone as each of your traded strikes shakes the entirety of the infinite universe waking a few horrorterrors from their slumber. Noses are kicked in, psionic blasts are traded, projectiles are thrown. It's a contest that plays out for several hours as the building collapses around you. But eventually one of you had to give. And it was Meenah that was beginning to slow as she lacked the same level of healing that made you nigh-invincible. As she is once again blasted several meters by the force of your latest punch she begins to take in a deep breath of air. As she landed on her feet she unleashed an unholy screech, a smaller version of the vast glub. An attack that could possibly kill any troll, even you. Blood begins leaking from your eyes as she begins putting psionic pressure on your bones and telekineticaly tries to rip you apart molecule by molecule, using every trick she can to kill you.
You take a deep breath as you respond in kind. The loud noises cancelling each other out as the pressure put on her leg bones forces her to a knee.
She begins levitating herself high into the sky directly above you and in a last ditch effort draws on her psionic power and fires a laser from her eyes that would destroy even your sub-atomic particles. You throw the last of your strength into an insanely powerful punch that completely destroys the laser and seemingly sends her flying straight up into the air.
With nothing left in your tank you fall to all fours. You desperately try to catch your breath, nothing of the building you were in remaining. And then she lands right on top of you. Surprisingly, she still has enough strength to roll off of you.
"Well, that's it. Good fight."
She looks at you.
"Before I die, I gotta know. What are you going to do with my empire?"
"I'm getting rid of the hemospectrum."
"That's... fucking stupid."
Memorible last words. Literally she died right after that.
Then you blacked out.
You wake up in medical block with Karkat standing right next to you.
"So I'm emperor now?"
"Yes you are dumbass."
"Can I hold off on that until I'm less injured. Knowing my healing it'll take a night at most."
"Sure, you've got a long night ahead if you anyway."