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Come Right Back to Me

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When in doubt, get drunk. The Russian motto.

Not really, of course. But Yuri is choosing to employ this motto when it comes to being dragged to parties by his asshold “friends”.

Yuri was completely content drowning in his angst about his unrequited crush on his best friend, but he supposes drowning in cheap beer at a sweaty high school party is alright too. Not like he’s got anything to lose. Plus, his aforementioned friends practically ditched him as soon as they got to the place.

So, Yuri got his hands on some alcohol and set on getting absolutely hammered as soon as possible. The ameture DJ was playing some hip hop songs and people were all grinding in the dining room, but Yuri preferred to stay near the makeshift bar in the kitchen. Better to stay away from the sloppy drunks (ex. Yuuri, one of the people who brought him here). Yuri has been known to have little patience and a lot of temper.

There were a few people who Yuri knew here. Viktor, Yuuri’s boyfriend, and their friend Phichit and his boyfriend, Seung gil. Yuri saw that asshole JJ and his girlfriend who were thankfully staying clear of him. Yuri was just thankful he wasn’t here. Viktor and Yuuri assured him that he wouldn’t be.

It’s not that Yuri hates Otabek. Though it didn’t feel great when Yuri confessed his feelings for him and Otabek got angry at him and ask him to leave. Yuri still loves him. That’s what really hurts. Usually, Yuri got over shit fast, but he’s had feelings for his best friend since freshman year. He’s mostly upset with himself. Upset because he knows he would still do anything for Otabek.

When Yuri is thoroughly smashed, he finally starts to forget about Otabek. Till he sees him.

“Shit.” He curses to himself and dodges out of his line of sight. He enters the dining room and quickly spots Viktor’s silver hair flashing red and blue under the lights.

“Viktor, you asshole.” He calls upon approaching him. He has Yuuri plastered against his side and Yuri can tell he’s drunk too by the way he’s obviously grinding on his boyfriend’s hip. Sober Yuuri is not so shameless.

When he sees Yuri, he shouts his name and goes to embrace him. Yuri grimances, “Katsudon, I wouldn’t.” He warns, pointedly glaring at the crotch of his pants. Yuuri nods solemnly and backs off.

“What’s wrong, Yurio?” He asks, leaning back onto Viktor.

“Otabek is here.” Two sets of eyes widen.
“Let’s go tell Phichit and Seung gil we are leaving.” Viktor says, pulling his boyfriend along. Yuuri is looking at him with that awful pitying look, but Yuri won’t make eye contact with him. He just wants out of here.

They find the other couple near the staircase and when Phichit sees Yuri, he rushes over.

“Yuri! I saw Otabek come in. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine, Chulanont. I am too drunk to deal with this and I only want to leave.”

Phichit nods, “Yes, let’s go. I’m sure if Viktor sees him, things will get ugly real fast.” Yuri is very grateful for his horrible friends, but they will never know. Well, they might know. They’re oddly perceptive when it comes to the youngest in their group.

You may think it’s weird for a sophomore to hang out with only juniors and seniors, but it actually makes quite a bit of sense. Yuri is one of the best in their school’s gymnastics team and the youngest one to go to nationals. Since all of the other people on the team that advanced are upperclassmen, they’ve kind of took them under their wing. Yuri pretends to hate them all as a way of showing that he’s happy about it.

Viktor and Otabek were the first friends he made when he started high school. Viktor, he already knew because he lives down the street from Yuri. But Otabek came as a surprise. He was a sophomore when Yuri was a freshman and no one really knew him. He kept quiet and minded his own business until Yuri. When he joined the team, Otabek often complimented him on his hard work and accomplishments. From there, the pair started hanging out frequently and their friendship was nearly indestructable. Nearly.

The group was almost to Viktor’s car (Viktor didn’t drink because he’s responsible) when Yuri heard his name.

He spins around to see Otabek on the porch, half out the front door. He looks upset and Yuri is so close to running to him. Then, he looks at his friends and his resolve hardens. Yuri is not about to be hurt by the same person twice in the same day. Fuck that.

He turns away and begins to enter the car. Otabek runs to him. Just before Seung gil shuts the backseat door, Otabek almost crashes into the car.

“Yura, please. Please don’t leave.” His voice is getting more desperate with every word.

“What do you want, Otabek?” Seung gil asks. He’s usually not one to lose his composure, but if looks could kill.

“I want to explain to Yura. Give me ten minutes. I’m so sorry.” His words would definitively be classified as pleading now.

“Otabek, leave him alone.” Yuuri growls. Growls. If Yuri was in a better mood, he’d probably be amazed.

Instead, Yuri gets out of the car from the driver’s side and meets Otabek. When Otabek turns to look at him, Seung gil slams the door shut, feature compiling a strong mask of disgust.

“Ten. Ten fucking minutes, Otabek.” Yuri grants through clenched teeth. He’s still very much intoxicated and he just wants this over with.

“Yurio, you don’t have to do this.” Viktor says. Yuri meets his eyes and tries to convey his emotions. The tiredness, the heartbreak, the fear, the resign. Viktor looks at him for a long moment and sighs. “We’ll be waiting. And Otabek,” Viktor fixes him with a glare, “say what you have to say and leave us all alone.”

“If that’s what Yuri wants.” He whispers.

Yuri shakes his head and leads them into the secluded garden beside the house. He doesn’t know who lives here, but they have some truly beautiful flowers growing. Yuri hates them for some reason. He turns to Otabek.

“So, did you want to yell at me some more?”

“Yura, I swea—” Otabek tries, but Yuri isn’t done.

“You know, I get that you don’t feel the same, but to practically spit in my face when I—” Yuri clears his throat when his voice nearly cracks and starts over. “I don’t deserve that. I didn’t deserve any of those things you said to me. You hurt me so bad and when you were done, you just told me to get out. Like it was my fault. Fuck you, Otabek.” Despite trying his hardest to keep his composure, he begins to cry while talking. He blames it on the alcohol.

“I am so fucking sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things to you. I get if you don’t want to be my friend anymore.” He sighs as Yuri’s anger boils.

“Fucking right, I don’t want to be your friend anymore. I told you I loved you and you told me to go to hell. I mean, fuck. Did I do something wrong? I can’t see how you would be homophobic since most of our friends are fucking gayer than me? I want to know why. I was absolutely terrified to tell you how I feel. I thought you felt the same way. Do you hate me?” Yuri is sobbing now and he is disgusted with himself, but he needs to know. “What did I do, Beka? Why were you so awful to me? Why did you make me feel like that? Like complete garbage. Tell me.” His voice is so weak and he wants to curl up under a blanket and never come out. Especially because Otabek looks heartbreakingly beautiful right now.

“I thought you were joking!” He nearly shouts. He’s crying too, but Yuri is too shocked by his words to notice.

“You what? I poured my heart out to you and you thought I was just kidding around? I would never do that.”

“I know. But I couldn’t wrap my head around what you were saying and I was in so much pain. I started saying those cruel things to you because I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me. I regret it so much.” The pleading look is back in Otabek’s eyes and fucking fuck he wants to believe him.

He changes the topic. “How did you know I was here, Otabek?”

“Mila let it slip. She messaged me told me how much of a jackass I was when she found out what happened. After she told me how upset you were, I knew that she was right. She said that you were going to get drunk and have fun tonight and I better stay away. I kind of didn’t listen to her.” He says sheepishly. God, Yuri wants to punch him and kiss him all at once.

“So, what you just thought you would come here and explain yourself and we would be fine again. I don’t even get why it would hurt you so much for me to joke about being in l—having feelings for you.”

“Because I like you. And when I was filled with all that desperate hope only to think—mistakenly—that it was all just you messing around, it killed me. Yura, I’ve loved you since I was in middle school.”

What the fuck.

“Okay, I think it’s been ten minutes. Viktor is waiting I have to leave.” Yuri blurts and rushes past Otabek.

“Yuri, wait!” He can hear Otabek trying to catch up, his boots harshly meeting the asphalt.

“Bye, Otabek.”

“I meant what I said.” Yuri pauses, but doesn’t turn. Otabek continues in between large lungfuls of breath. “I know it will take time, but if you can ever forgive me, I will be waiting. I’ll be waiting, Yura.”

In the car, Yuri doesn’t tell anyone what happened, but Katsudon sends him concerned looks through the rearview mirror. Yuri only makes eye contact with the passing houses outside his window.

Chapter Text

Four weeks. It takes four weeks for Yuri to decide how we wants to proceed with Otabek.

In that time, he told Yuuri, Viktor, and Mila what Otabek said to him. They all gave him the same look. The look filled with pity and worry.

“Oh, Yurio.” Katsudon says when he fills the couple in before hugging him. The rational part of Yuri wants to squirm, but the other part wants to hug back. It’s been a hard time and he’s waited a full week just to come clean about the interaction.

Viktor puts his hand on Yuri’s shoulder as the other two pulled away, “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. What should I do?”

“We can’t tell you that.” Yuuri sighs. “Do you still love him?”

Yuri looks down at his hands instead of replying.

“Do you believe him?” Viktor asks. Yuri shrugs. “Do you miss him?”

“So much.” Yuri admits.

“I think you definitely need to talk to him. You were both hurt by what happened and you can’t just avoid this.” Yuuri advises.

Yuri runs his hands through his tangled hair. There at Viktor’s house and he wonders where Makkachin. He could really use some puppy cuddles and Makka loves to give those away.

“I know. I just don’t know what to say. I’m still angry at myself and upset with him. I don’t want my emotions to get in the way and I am afraid we will just hurt each other more.”

“You’re strong, Yurio. You know how to get what you want. If you want Otabek, we will support you. If you want to kick his ass, I have really nice boots you can borrow. This is your decision and we love you no matter what.” Viktor tells him. Yuri balances out his smile by rolling his eyes.

—————————————

In the end, what helps him is talking to Nikolai. He refrains from telling his grandfather about his situation with Otabek, not wanting to change what he thinks about his friend (ex-friend?), but Nikolai always knows when something is wrong.

“You know, your grandmother and I got into a big fight once.” He says as he serves kasha for breakfast before he sends Yuri off to school.

Yuri frowns, “What did you fight about?”

“Well, it was about a year before your mother was born. We had got married a few months before and I was away a lot. I was working two jobs as a baker and teaching classes at the university back in Moscow. You grandmother was upset that I was never home and told me that if I really loved her, I would find time for her. I told her she was ridiculous and essentially would not even listen to her.”

“I’m sure that worked out for you.” Yuri smiles, earning a laugh in return.

“It didn’t. We only got more and more upset with each other and I said awful things to her. We didn’t talk for a long time and I occupied myself with work. It was hurting both of us, but we both thought that things were too bad to fix.”

“But you did. You fixed it, right?” Yuri’s kasha has been completely forgotten by now.

“No, she did. She made some pirozhki, apologized, and we worked it out. I used less office hours at the university and she helped me grade papers at home. Once we both acknowledged we hurt each other and were willing to fix it, we did. Because we loved each other.” He finishes his story and tells Yuri to eat and finish getting ready for school.

Before he leaves, he asks something of his grandpa.

Nikolai smiles, “Of course, Yurochka.”

—————————————

At the end of the fourth week, Yuri knocks on Otabek’s door.

“Yura? What’s going on?” He asks, wary but hopeful.

“You’ve loved me since middle school?”

Otabek noticeably swallows. “Come in, Yura. What’s that?”

“Pirozhki. Grandpa made them.” Yuri thrusts them with both hands, nearly hitting Otabek.

He takes them. “Does this mean?”

“It means we are going to talk.” Yuri confirms, sitting at the kitchen table while Otabek puts away the food. He waits till Otabek sits across from him. “You’ve loved me since middle school.” He repeats.

“Yes.” He verifies.

“How? We didn’t even know each other then.”

“I saw you punch a fourteen year old when you were eleven. I remember that the older kid was picking on another kid because of his glasses and you stepped in. It was so admirable and I thought about it all the time. I was the most amazing thing I had ever seen.” Otabek explains.

Yuri remembers. He’d just moved from Russia and his english wasn’t that good. He got suspended for three days. “And when we became friends?”

“It was the best thing ever. By then, I had liked you for three years. I thought if this was the only thing I would ever get, I would be content.” Yuri’s heart starts beating faster at the admission. What if he had known this all before this big mess?

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was afraid. You never showed any signs of returning my feelings and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. It was the most important thing to me. Looks like I fucked it up anyways.” Otabek grimaces.

“I liked you since that first time we hung out. God, Beka. I thought you were so cool and handsome. I looked up to you for my entire freshman year. Our friendship was important to me too.” Yuri watches as Otabek wipes a stray tear.

“So, what do we do now? I would do anything to make it up to you. I am so sorry.”

“I know, Beka.” Yuri smiles softly and reaches for Otabek’s hand that’s resting on the table. “I think we take it slow. I still have feelings for you and I think you still have feelings for me.”

“Of course, Yura.”

“We both are hurt, but I don’t want to lose you. So, we should pick up the friendship where we left off. Maybe, in time, we can see where our feelings take this.” He suggests, looking down at their entwined fingers.

“I would like that, Yura.” He squeezes Yuri’s hand. “Very much.”