Socks. Pants. Shirt. Only his tie is still missing. Goro stumbles across the floor of LeBlanc's attic in search for his clothes. It's morning and sleeping here was a mistake. He's got school and although that isn't relevant for at least another two hours, it's still the only thing he tries to occupy his mind with.
Definitely not with what happened that did get him in this situation in the first place. The reason why all of his clothes got discarded and tangled up with Akira's – Kurusu-kun's he scolds himself – on this floor of an attic trash dump.
All of them it seems, besides that one item that wasn't in the pile of clothes. His tie is missing and he can't find it anywhere.
Kurusu-kun seems unfazed by all of his attempts to find the missing piece. He's just sitting there on his bed with his blanket pooled around his waist and his upper body completely naked staring blankly at him. “You can stay if you like. It's still early.” He says it quietly and yet despite this the words still manage to ring way to loud in Goro's ears.
It's technically true, he has to admit and tries for a steady breath to calm himself. There is still enough time to easily make it home and then to school even if he were to stay for at least another half an hour longer but that isn't the point here.
The point is that he can't bear to stay here for even another half minute.
Kurusu-kun though must have misinterpreted his silence. “If you are worried about meeting Boss on the way out, you don't have to. He won't be here for quiet some time.”
That's not it.
“I'm sorry, Akira.” He smiles around the distaste that name brings to his mouth. It's not noticeable. Goro knows because no one ever did, so there really is no reason why Kurusu-kun should and he is proofed right when he finally takes a look at his face and doesn't see any signs doubt there. His smile falters a little as he continues on, trying to sound sheepish and apologetic. “As much as I want to stay with you a little longer, I can't and it's got nothing to do with Sakura-san. There is still a case file I got at home that I need to look though.”
Like always, it's all lies of cause but this time Kurusu-kun seems to have caught onto him and eyes him sceptically. “This early? Can't you do it later today?”
“I need it to be done for today. You see, I originally planed on doing it yesterday but ah... You know what happened.” Goro turns his face away and instead looks around the room. He's still missing his tie and it's the only thing he still needs before he can finally leave. So where the fuck was it? Not on the floor, not on the sofa or that sorry excuse of a desk.
“I won't say I'm sorry for that.”
“I'm not sorry for what happened either.” He starts and tries to sound reassuring as he's bracing himself for what he's about to say next. If this is what he needs to do to get out of here as fast as possible than so be it. “Say Akira, you were so eager to take my tie off of me yesterday. Do you perhaps have any idea where it might be?”
“Yeah, I might.” It earns him a smirk as Kurusu-kun throws the blanket to the side, gets up and stalks stark naked right past Goro to the stairs.
Despite all of his better attempts, Goro can feel the heat crawling onto his cheeks.
It doesn't take long for Kurusu-kun to come back with said item in hand. “I'm sorry it might have gotten a little dusty.”He says it like he really feels sorry for it, and to his credit he is trying to brush the dust off but Goro is still sure he isn't, not with that smirk still plastered all over his face.
“It's no problem. I'll make do until I get home,” and he tries to take the tie out of Kurusu-kun's hand but before he can get any chance to do so, Kurusu-kun takes a step back and holds it out of his reach.
“Wait a second. If I have to let you go now, at least let me do this,” and with that he puts it around his neck, pulling Goro close as he slowly ties it together.
Kurusu-kuns fingers are warm and his touches soft.
It makes Goro choke on his breath as much as it lets unwelcome memories enter his mind. Because this exactly is what had gotten him in this situation to begin with. Soft touches, sweet kisses that led to even more kisses and touches that weren't so soft or sweet anymore…
And in a way, it is also alright because this is exactly what he needs. He needs Akiras – Kurusu-kun's – trust, if he wants go through with what he's been planning for years. What he's made sacrifices for, killed people for...
“There. All done.” Abruptly he's woken out of his reverie by a voice that's way to close for comfort and a forehead that's pressed to his own. “Be careful on your way home, alright?”
Goro can feel his breath on lips, warm and alive, and steels himself. He clenches, then forcefully unclenches his fist before he puts his arms around Kurusu-kun and draws him in closer. “I'll make sure of that,” and then Goro closes the little distance that's still between them and kisses him.
It takes a moment for Kurusu-kun to kiss him back but when he does, there is that feeling of want and need again and it makes Goro moan and think of what could happen, if he were stay for even tiniest bit longer.
So he pushes him away and thinks about how heavy his own arms feel.
“I'm sorry Akira but I really have to go now.” He smiles, then turns away to the stairs as fast as the laws of politeness allow him to.
“You gotta wait for me though!”
Goro abruptly comes to a halt. “Why? What else could there be?”
“Ah, it's nothing..” Kurusu-kun laughs and Goro can hear footsteps and then the shuffling of clothes from across the room. “I need to unlock the door for you and I can't hardly go down there as I am now, can I? And besides Boss would roast me, if he knew...”
Goro just groans.
It's only when Goro is on the train on his ride home and he sees his own reflection in one of the windows that he notices it.
His tie doesn't look like it's supposed to.
There is still a little dust clinging to it's edges and although that alone is enough to make him tense up, it's not what actually caught his attention.
His tie isn't tied in way that he's used to. In fact, it's got a weird angle to the side and it's just so sloppily and poorly knit together, he would be embarrassed of himself if he were to ever set a foot outside looking like he does now.
Except this is what he just did.
I don't need this, he thinks as he squints his eyes shut and hastily grabs for the offending piece of clothing to pull it off. Better to be without one than with one tied together by an amateur.
He doesn't need any of this. Not wrongly knitted ties covered with attic dust, which he also currently tries to brush off as best as he can. Or said amateuers warm touches as he does his poor mans work.
He'll just have to live with feeling naked and incomplete without them.
Because he still needs to take down Shidou. And for that he needs Akira's trust. It's the only reason, really.