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petiole

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I’ve posted this on my old tumblr account because Leah sent me backups of the blog she had on her laptop, just like she mentioned she would in one of the entries. I gave a copy to the police but I didn’t give them the original. I can’t fucking believe they think I had something to do with this but my dad said they always suspect the boyfriend.

But I wasn’t her boyfriend, and you all know that. At least I was a friend, unlike the rest of you who wouldn't even go out there to visit her. You didn't even know she was lonely, or that she was dealing all over again with that heavy shit of her aunt and uncle's disappearance and it was making her paranoid. But I did and whatever you want to say about me, I know I was a better friend to her than you were. And Hannah - who said I was only a friend because Leah let me fuck her - you are SO WRONG. You don’t know a goddamn thing.

This isn’t all of her blog I don’t think - there’s nothing before October, I don’t know why. She moved into her aunt and uncle’s house at the beginning of September and said she was going to start a new blog about being in a new place and working on her writing for that class she was taking. But this doesn’t seem like she wrote it for class.

I’ve gotten a lot of bullshit emails and texts and calls so I want all of you assholes to read this and come to your own conclusions. I know Leah was scared of something but I think maybe living in that house all by herself made her freak out somehow. It was a weird situation, no doubt. But I do think her uncle was up to some crazy shit. Are these things connected? I have no idea.

I’ve told the police all I know (especially about that homeless guy Leah thought was stalking her or whatever) and they’ve searched my car, the apartment, they’ve looked through all my shit and there is nothing nothing NOTHING, no evidence that I did anything because I DIDN’T and all of you can fuck off. Or not. Clearly some of you will not because you keep harassing me.

I want to know what happened too. Leah was - IS - one of my best friends and this is fucking awful. But I don’t know if her blog can tell us what it was. It’s just that I can’t tell what’s real and what is Leah maybe embellishing things for the sake of a good story. I do remember some of those conversations we had but I’m doing good to remember what happened yesterday, never mind two months ago.

But this is all we have left.

-riley
12/7/10