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The Marauders' Guide to Sexual Intercourse

Chapter Text

Good evening. The following is a basic instruction manual for sexual intercourse. Today’s subjects are sad werewolf professor, Remus Lupin, and escaped fugitive and part-time dog, Sirius Black.


“I’m not a professor anymore. And I’m not that sad!” Remus complained as he and Sirius sat naked on the end of a bed, looking around with curiosity.

“I’m… yeah, escaped fugitive and part-time dog is pretty accurate,” Sirius conceded.


Grab your partner in the central region and hold them firmly.


“Skipping foreplay, are we?” Sirius said as he reached over.

“What are you doing?” Remus inquired, as Sirius squeezed at Remus’s belly with a hand.

“They don’t mean my stomach, Padfoot. They mean my cock,” Remus laughed, gesturing at his proud, erect organ.

“Oh,” Sirius said stupidly, instead moving his hand to Remus’s thick shaft, which he gripped firmly with his long, thin fingers.


Now make excited, vertical motions with your hand.


Sirius grinned and began to make odd, upward strokes with his hand on Remus’s cock.

“What the hell are you doing?” Remus chuckled.

“I don’t know. Am I having fun? I’m smiling so I must be,” Sirius laughed.

“I’m certainly not having fun,” Remus said, crossing his arms.


You can increase speed if you like.


Sirius began stroking harder. It felt good in a terrible sort of way, Remus decided. It was not ideal.

“I don’t think I’m likely to come from that, Padfoot. It’s just… odd and uncomfortable,” Remus complained.

“Is it?” Sirius said, still stroking in a hard, jerky manner.

“I’ve just said it is!” Remus said, annoyed.


Now you may like to add your mouth. Simply, place your mouth on and suck.


Sirius, continuing with his unusual strokes, knelt before Remus and placed his mouth around the head of Remus’s cock. He then made a hard, deep suck, almost like Remus’s cock was a straw.

“Ahh!” Remus called out, the sensation once again pleasurable in an unappealing way.

“Ith hat ood?” Sirius asked, his mouth still on Remus’s cock.

“What?” Remus called down.

Sirius removed his mouth and said, “Is that good?”

“No, it is not,” Remus said firmly.


You should make sure to be gentle with the head as that is the most sensitive part.


“Cheers,” Sirius said, pushing his mouth over the head, making Remus yelp.

“Teeth!” Remus screeched.

“What?” Sirius complained, throwing his hands up.


Do mind the teeth.


“No teeth. Check,” Sirius said, sucking up and down Remus’s long, thick shaft this time without any teeth.

“Mmm. That’s the ticket,” Remus said happily.

Sirius pulled his mouth off Remus’s cock with a pop and laughed.

“That’s the ticket?” Sirius cackled, his hand still stroking the shaft as he fell against Remus’s thigh.

“Get it together, Padfoot,” Remus sighed.

“All right. All right. I’ll be more… Sirius,” Sirius guffawed.


The narrator sighs.


“Hey, piss off, mate. I’m just having a laugh!” Sirius barked up at the ceiling.

“Knock it off, Padfoot,” Remus grumbled.

“Fine, fine. Knocking it off so I can get back to sucking it off,” Sirius giggled before putting his mouth back on Remus’s cock.

“There. That’s good. Only way I can shut you up half the time,” Remus grunted.


With your partner silenced… erm… I mean… with your partner now orally focused you may find it nice to stroke the back of his head.


“Yes, I’ll pet him like the dog he is,” Remus snarked.


That’s not really what I meant-


“I know what you meant,” Remus corrected.


The narrator clears their throat.


“Dammit, Sirius. Now the whole world is gonna know how good you are at giving head,” Remus observed.

“Oddy ight ey ill,” Sirius mumbled.


“Bloody right they will,” Sirius clarified.

“Don’t stop sucking, you arsehole,” Remus chuckled.

Sirius shrugged and put his mouth back on Remus’s cock.


Now you may want to switch places. Perhaps, changing positions.


“Wait. Don’t I get to come?” Remus complained.

“You heard the man… woman… person… voice of God? I don’t really know. But you heard them!” Sirius said, removing himself from Remus’s cock entirely and standing up.

“Ahhh. My fucking bollocks hurt,” Remus said, gently massaging them with a hand.

“Toss yourself off then, Moony,” Sirius smirked.

“Bloody wanker,” Remus said as Sirius sat on the end of the bed, stroking himself.

“Too much talking, not enough sucking,” Sirius said, pointing at his cock as Remus knelt before him.

Remus pushed his mouth all the way down Sirius’s shaft, taking him all in.


You’ll want to be careful about triggering your gag reflex.


Remus popped his mouth off Sirius’s cock and said, “I haven’t got one.”




Remus vigorously slurped up and down Sirius’s cock while Sirius nearly howled in pleasure.

“Sorry, Narrator, there’s no way you could improve on- oooo. This,” Sirius moaned.

Remus wrapped his hand around Sirius’s bollocks and pulled them hard, making Sirius grunt.


Do be gentle with the testicles.


“Piss off,” Sirius laughed.


The narrator grumbles.


“Damn, Moony. Keep going like that I’m going to explode. Mmm.”

Remus pulled his mouth off Sirius’s cock. Sirius grunted and looked down at him with loathing.

“You prick,” Sirius breathed.

“Maybe you should just toss yourself off,” Remus winked.


Perhaps it is time to move on to our next activity. For this you’ll be needing lubricant and prophylactics.


“Condoms? We never use condoms!” Sirius complained.

“I think we’re supposed to set a good example,” Remus suggested.

“For whom?” Sirius asked skeptically.

“You know. Them,” Remus said, gesturing with his head away from the bed.

Sirius stared forward.

“I don’t see anything. Actually… that’s eerie. It’s like… nothing exists for us outside of this room. Are we real?” Sirius babbled.

Remus tapped Sirius’s erection with a snicker.

“Glad to see not even an existential crisis can make Sirius Black’s blessed knob go soft,” Remus joked.

Sirius looked at Remus and grinned.

“I’ll always be hard for you, Moony,” Sirius said as Remus leaned up into a slow kiss.


The penetrating partner should place the condom on his penis.


“Which one of us is that?” Sirius asked.


Pick one?


“Can’t we take turns?” Remus suggested.


The narrator sighs.


“Fine. Let’s rock, paper, scissors. Winner tops this time,” Sirius declared.

“All right. Seems fair,” Remus replied.

The two of them tapped their palms twice with their fists then on the third tap Remus formed scissors and Sirius formed paper.

“You always pick paper,” Remus said with a raised eyebrow.

“You always picks scissors,” Sirius winked and they kissed, Sirius’s hand reaching down to fondle Remus’s erection.

Sirius fell back on the bed, Remus collapsing on top of him, grinding their erections together.

“This is really hot, isn’t it?” Sirius whispered in Remus’s ear.

“Being with you always is.”

“No. I mean… being watched. By the Narrator and… them,” Sirius said, gesturing his head at the great unknown beyond the room.

“Hmm. You’re right. Now let’s get you on your knees for a proper show,” Remus growled.


Place the condom on your penis then thoroughly apply lubricant.


“We’re getting there,” Sirius complained.

Remus removed the condom from the wrapper, placed it at the tip of his cock then gradually rolled it down, always finding it difficult to get it over the thickest point of his shaft. He picked up the bottle of lube and dripped a stream of it over his condom covered prick, slicking it up very well.

Remus held the bottle over Sirius’s upturned arse, dripping the fluid directly onto his arsehole.

“Ooo,” Sirius cooed with a shiver.

Remus popped one of Sirius’s arse cheeks then set the lubricant aside.


Now, slowly and gently penetrate the anal cavity.


“Merlin’s arse! You really know how to make it sound bloody clinical,” Sirius complained.

“So irritable. Be a good dog, Padfoot, and take your bone,” Remus said, slapping his cock on Sirius’s arse.

“I will if you’ll stop playing and put it in!” Sirius urged.

Remus sighed and placed the end of his cock on Sirius’s hole. He held the base of his shaft in his hand as he gently rocked the tip in and out.

“Mmmm. Teasing it. You know how hot that makes me,” Sirius breathed.

“Yes,” Remus replied, sliding the head halfway in then pulling it out.

“You can go faster than that,” Sirius insisted.


It is best to take your time, especially if your partner is a bit large.


“Did you hear that, Moony? The Narrator thinks you’ve got a big cock,” Sirius cackled.

“That’s fair,” Remus said, pushing the head of his cock in and out of Sirius’s tight hole with a moan.

“Come on, Moony! I need it,” Sirius begged.

“Mmm. I’m enjoying this, Padfoot. Be patient.”

Sirius grumbled as Remus slowly worked a few more inches inside.


It may feel nice to have pressure against the prostate.


“You don’t say,” Sirius snickered, Remus having over half his shaft inside now.

Remus grabbed the lubricant and dripped more onto his shaft before sliding the length back inside, Sirius moaning. Sirius began to slowly push back in sync with Remus’s thrusts, making the sensation all the better.


Very good. If you are gentle you should avoid harming your partner.


“Merlin. Feels like we’re back at Hogwarts, doesn’t it?” Sirius asked.

“I must’ve been sick the day McGonagall taught the class how to fuck your boyfriend up the arse,” Remus snickered.

“Mmm. That’s a shame,” Sirius grunted.

“What do you suppose the Narrator would say if I really gave your arse a pounding?” Remus said through gritted teeth.

“Only one way to find out,” Sirius said as Remus slapped Sirius’s arse suddenly.

“Ooo,” Sirius called out.

Remus increased the strength of his thrusts, making a pleased chuckle when he heard Sirius moan.


Really, you should be careful. The flesh of the rectum is very delicate.


Sirius let out a long, annoyed groan.

“Shove it, will you? I spent twelve years in Azkaban, I can handle a sodding prick up my arse,” Sirius shouted.

“I’ll say,” Remus said, pounding himself into Sirius.

“Mmmm. That’s great, Moony. Fuck my arse,” Sirius grunted.


You may find it enjoyable to stimulate your own penis while receiving anal sex.


“That’s… no, that’s actually a good point,” Sirius admitted, beginning to stroke himself.

“Fuck, Padfoot. I feel like I’m going to explode,” Remus groaned, loving and hating the way it hurt when his swollen bollocks smacked into Sirius’s.

“Pull my hair, Moony. And Narrator, don’t you dare tell him to be gentle.”


I didn’t say anything!


“Good!” Remus and Sirius said in unison as Remus wrapped his hand around the back of Sirius’s hair and pulled, his cock slamming into his arse.

“Mmm. You’re so bloody tight, Padfoot. I’m gonna… I’m gonna… Umm… Narrator, can I come?” Remus called out to the ceiling.


If you like.


“Cheers, mate. Mmm. Oh yeah. Here it goes. Mmm. Ohhhh fuck!” Remus moaned, feeling pleasure arc with tension then release as his cock spasmed hard.

“Mmm. That’s good, Moony. Come in my arse,” Sirius breathed.

“I wish I wasn’t wearing this stupid bloody condom,” Remus grunted as his cock continued to spurt, the pleasure subsiding as he breathed hard.


Now that you’ve finished your partner is free to finish himself off.


“Sod that. If Moony doesn’t suck me off within the next five seconds I’ll never let him hear the end of it,” Sirius declared.

Remus pulled out, his cock drooping slightly in the condom as Sirius rolled over. Remus’s mouth clamped around Sirius cock and his head bobbed furiously.

“Mmm. Oh shit. Oh Merlin, I love coming in your mouth, Moony. I’m so close,” Sirius whimpered.

Remus pulled on Sirius’s bollocks as he howled, his cock twitching as bitter, salty fluid spilled onto his tongue.

“Oh yes. Don’t leave a drop,” Sirius moaned as he shuddered.

Remus sucked as Sirius cock started to go soft, indeed making sure he didn’t miss a drop.

“The Narrator’s gone quiet? Did you come too?” Sirius called out.


I am still here. Now that you’ve both finished you may find it relaxing to hold each other for a time.


“Yes, we know about cuddling,” Sirius said, Remus removing his mouth from Sirius cock as Sirius laid back.

“I love you,” Remus said, giving Sirius a kiss.

“I love you too,” Sirius echoed, his hands reaching behind Remus, sliding down to his bottom and squeezing.


And this concludes today’s lesson. Tune in next time for-


“Bloody hell, you’re hard again,” Sirius noticed, his hand sliding over Remus’s still condom covered shaft.

“Ready to go again?” Remus grinned.



Umm… Well, this concludes today’s lesson. Next time we’ll explore-


“Mmm. Shall we switch places this time?” Sirius asked.



Well… just make sure to turn out the light when you’re done. Goodnight.




Chapter Text

Good evening. The following continues our basic instruction manual for sexual intercourse. Today’s subjects are deceased parents, James and Lily Potter.


“Don’t rub it in, mate,” James grumbled.

Proud deceased parents,” Lily corrected, James smiling at her.


Today will serve as an introductory for-


“Introductory? Come off it! James Potter is no novice!” James declared, Lily rolling her eyes.


Well, if you’re really sure we could-


“Lay it on me. James Potter isn’t afraid of anything.”

“Is speaking in the third person a side effect of being dead? Lily is confused,” Lily smirked, giving her husband an elbow to the side.


There was a sudden clicking sound as a chest against the white western wall of the room rattled.


At the request of today’s subjects we will move on to a more advanced subject: BDSM.


“Ha! Sounds great! Uh… What is it?” James asked, narrowing his eyes while Lily shook her head.


BDSM refers to Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission and Sadism & Masochism. It was unfortunately coined after you both had passed away.


“Sounds groovy,” Lily grinned.

“Stop reminding me we’re dead. It’s weird,” James complained.


Today Mr and Mrs. Potter will demonstrate some basic techniques involving bondage, pain and submission.


“Out of curiosity… what happens if we decline?” Lily asked up at the ceiling.


Umm… Obviously, if anyone wanted to decline to perform any activities they could.


Lily smiled at James and shrugged.

“Just wanted to make sure no was a real option.”

James patted her with a dark hand and said, “You’re so thoughtful.”


You should now choose which one will be the dominate and which one will be the submissive. Don’t worry, you can switch roles at any time if you like.


“We can argue about this or you can just trust me: you’re the submissive,” Lily said, trying to make it sound as gentle as possible, even though she was really picturing her husband in rather compromising positions at the moment.

James laughed.

“You must be kidding. I, James Potter, a submissive? You’re taking the piss.”

“I mean, if you’re afraid…” Lily trailed, giving him a smirk.

His hazel eyes went wide.

“I mean,” he laughed nervously, “I’m not afraid. Don’t be ridiculous. I’m just saying… you’ve got me pegged all wrong!”

Lily bit her lip and said, “So, we’re starting with James as the submissive and myself as the dominate.”


Now would be a good time to disrobe.


“Excellent. I was feeling kinda weird in these mum clothes,” Lily said, scowling at her highly unfashionable trousers that she never would’ve been caught dead in when she was alive.

“Miss your bellbottoms?” James asked as he unbuttoned his shirt.

“Bloody right, I do. Whoever dressed us must’ve been a complete nutter.”

Lily still enjoyed watching her husband undress. He looked healthier than she remembered him last. They both looked older than they ever had in life. She supposed whoever was in charged had aged them up.

She observed her own body as she slid those awful trousers off and unbuttoned her blouse. It was the body she’d had in their first year after they’d left Hogwarts. Her belly was nice and round, her breasts heavy, her thighs thick and her hips wide. Even when she’d been pregnant with Harry she knew she was thinner than she should’ve been. The war hadn’t lent itself to good health.

She looked over at James. Everything on his face said that he saw what she was seeing too. She supposed whoever was in charge of this whole situation hadn’t got everything wrong.


Now that you are both nude-


“James still has his socks on,” Lily observed, pointing at his feet.

“My feet get cold!” James replied crossly.

Lily snickered and shook her head. She then quietly approached him and whispered, “Your willy isn’t hard. Are you all right, love?”

James made a frustrated sound.

“It’s fine. I’m just nervous,” he admitted.

“Aww,” she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek before loudly saying, “We’re ready!”


Now that you are both mostly nude, Mrs. Potter can go to the chest and find the rope, which she will then use to tie Mr. Potter to the headboard of the bed, while he remains in a kneeling position.


“Rope? Hey, you know she’s a witch right? Actually, where are our wands?” James asked, looking around.

“It’s fine, James. You didn’t used to be so weird about trying out Muggle customs,” Lily joked.


Though today’s subject are magical folk, the audience of this presentation will not be magical and will find learning things in a non-magical way most ideal.


Lily quickly found the rope, surprised by how strong it felt. It already had loops for his wrists that would just need to be pulled tight to hold him in place.

“On the bed, James,” Lily nudged towards he headboard.

James threw himself backwards onto the bed, naturally hitting his head on the headboard and swearing loudly.


Do be careful.


“Shove off, mate,” James snapped, as he rolled onto his knees.

Lily climbed onto the bed, slipping the loops over his wrists and around the bed posts, then tightening them, James still looking nervous. Lily glanced round at his flaccid cock and frowned slightly.

“Really, love, I could suck you off,” Lily whispered.

“I’m good. I’m fine. It’ll get hard,” James insisted.

“All right,” Lily replied, hoping he was right.


Now that Mr. Potter is in place go and find the blindfolds and slip those over his eyes.


Lily complied with the suggestion quickly, thinking this wasn’t the most efficient way of getting things done.

“Great now, Lils, is gonna slip out of the room and just leave me here,” James groaned.

“I swear I would never do that! Especially, not without any risk of anyone catching you!” Lily cackled.

James laughed and said, “Right. I just remembered why I married you.”


Now, Mrs. Potter is welcome to choose a paddle from the chest to use on Mr. Potter’s backside.


Lily giggled with glee as she went over to the chest again.

“You know, Remus and Sirius used to tell me some of the things they got up. I never got it. What sort of pervert gets off on getting hurt?” James called out.

Lily returned to the bed, paddle in hand as she looked over her husband’s wonderfully shaped arse. She wanted to give him a good pop but didn’t want to shock him too much so she instead opted for a light swing that still made a bit of a sound.

“You hit like a girl, Lils,” James snarked so Lily popped him one good.

“Woo! Shit!” James called out, a red mark across his arse cheeks.

“That wasn’t too much for you, was it? I could go softer,” Lily proudly declared, patting her palm with the paddle.

“Umm… no. Not too hard. Not too hard… at all,” James said, seeming disoriented.

“Can I go harder?”


If you like.


“I wasn’t asking you!” Lily called up at the ceiling.

“Yes. Harder,” James answered.

Lily pulled back and popped him again. James made a whimper that was so fucking sexy she could feel the heat rushing down into the pit of her stomach.

“How was that?” Lily asked, certain that she was wet now.

“Lils… I’m not going to lie to you. My prick is harder than one of Hagrid’s rock cakes right now,” James revealed.

Lily peered around his thighs, seeing the thick organ in question, rubbing against the sheets.

“Very good,” Lily decided and popped him again.

“Ooo! Damn!” James arched his back and shuddered.

“Gonna blow your load, James?” Lily chuckled and popped him again.

He whimpered in that way that made her weak again and Lily was positive that she was wet.


Now you can move on-


“Now, just you hold on. I’m not so sure my husband and I have had our fill,” Lily declared and paddle met flesh once again.

“Damn! Fuck, Lils, my bollocks feel like I haven’t come in ages,” James groaned.

“We’ve been dead for years. That’s a lot of frustration built up,” Lily joked.

“You always could see the bright side of things,” James said, squealing as she popped him again, whistling Always Look on the Bright Side of Life to herself.


If you would like, there are some other interesting things you could try out. Namely a collar and a leash.


“Collar and a leash, you said?” Lily asked up at the ceiling.




Lily hopped off the bed, rushing over to the chest and finding the items in question. She went back over to the bed and undid the ropes.

“You’ll have to get off the bed so I can put the collar on,” Lily explained.

“Don’t have to tell me twice. I’m so randy you could dress up like Dumbledore and I’d be up your robes in a heartbeat,” James joked.

“Don’t make me test that,” Lily countered as James got on his knees, allowing her to place the collar around his neck.

Lily held the end of the leash firmly, feeling an odd rush of excitement.

“This is fun!”


Now you can give Mr. Potter a walk.


“Sure, but I’m wondering if I can teach an old dog new tricks,” Lily snickered.

“Sirius is the dog! I’m a stag!” James complained as Lily slowly lead him in a circle.

“I like the way your cock bounces. It’s cute,” Lily informed.

“Cheers,” James replied.


Some like to have their partners kiss their feet or even suck their toes.


“Good for them. If he wants to make me come he’ll have to put his mouth somewhere… higher,” Lily said, spreading her thighs and tugging on the leash.


Oh. Well, yes, certainly there is that too.


“You’re damn right there is. Oh, James, I’m sure you remember what to do,” Lily said, very aware of her sex in that moment.

“Oh, don’t you worry,” James playfully growled, his face coming close and licking up her slit, the tip of his tongue flicking over her clit and sending a shock through her body.

“Oh!” Lily moaned, biting her lip.

Lily clutched the back of his head, pushing his mouth closer to her aching flesh, his full lips enveloping her.

“Oh, yeah. That’s a good boy, James,” Lily praised, almost unconsciously.

James for his part didn’t seem to notice or care, staying focused on her pleasure.

“I swear to Merlin, narrator, if you dare suggest that James does anything else right now, so help me-“


I didn’t say anything!


“Just a warning,” Lily replied, moaning and feeling heat rise in her body as tension built.

The pace of Lily’s breath quickened as the tension started to become unbearable. The image below of her gorgeous husband, collared and feasting for her pleasure was too much and she felt her arms, legs and stomach clench then release as hot pleasure filled her in grunting, moaning waves of satisfaction.

“Oh, fuck yes,” Lily moaned.


Now if you like you can-


“I. Am. Still. Coming!” Lily interjected, shuddering against her husband’s mouth and raising a halting hand at the ceiling.




“Unnh,” Lily grunted, removing her hand and letting James pull away, wiping his own grinning mouth.

“I still love making you come,” James said up at her.

“Cheers. All right. I’m open to suggestions,” Lily called up.


Well… the two of you are frankly doing so well, I thought I might let you decide how to finish.


“Hey, uh… what happens when we do finish?” James asked.


The demonstration will be over.


“Yeahhh but I mean, what happens to us. Will… we go back to being dead?” James asked.


The narrator is silent.


“We’re already dead, James. It can’t get any worse,” Lily suggested.

“I’m not afraid of being dead. It’s just odd, isn’t it? Do you remember anything between dying and being here?” James asked.

“For the love of Godric’s bollocks, James, I just came. My brain is like hot custard and I really just want to suck you off now,” Lily frowned.

“Right. Let it not be said that James Potter turned down oral sex in the face of eternal nothingness,” James grinned as Lily lead him over to the bed with the leash.

Lily climbed up with him, licking her lips as he laid back. She gripped his thick shaft around the base, lifting the head to her mouth and sliding her lips around it, down the to the ridge then slowly dragging them back up the head. There was that bloody whimper again.

Lily’s hand gently stroked the shaft, the softness of his foreskin gliding with the movement as she very slowly sucked up and down the wide head. Lily loved the heat of him on her tongue and the salty taste of his arousal.

Lily longed for him to come but still took her time, wanting to relish in every sign of his frustrated pleasure.

“Merlin, Lils. It aches so bad, My bollocks feel so heavy,” James grumbled, Lily taking that a cue to wrap her spare hand around them, making James grunt.

Lily increased her speed, James making some uncomfortable sounds. He was damn close now.

“I’m gonna die, Lily. I’m going to be the first bloke to ever die because his bollocks exploded.”

Lily snorted but continued to suck.

“Please, Lils. Please, finish me,” James begged, sounding tortured.

Lily felt bad for him, her mouth quickly sliding over the head of his cock, her head bobbing up and down as her dark-red hair bounced in her face.

“Oh. Oh. Oh, Merlin, Lils. Fuck!” James cried out as his cock twitched in her mouth, salty fluid spilling onto her tongue, which she swallowed with ease.

“Oh fu-fu-fuck,” James breathed, his cock still spasming, coming much more than Lily expected.

It didn’t take too long for James to gently push her shoulder, letting her know it had become too sensitive as she pulled away.

“If that’s the last time I ever come… I’ll take it,” James laughed.


I’m sure we’ll find further use for the two of you. That was only the intro to BDSM, after all.


“Oh. Well, fancy that. Dumbledore always told me death was the next great adventure. I’m not sure this is what he had in mind, though,” James said, looking a little dazed.

“Shall we cuddle now?” Lily asked, removing the collar.

“Please,” James said as she kissed him, falling back in a heap together on the bed.


This concludes today’s lesson. Tune in time next for… Oh, what does it matter. No one seems to listen to what I want anyway.

Chapter Text

Hello, once more. Tonight Remus and Sirius are going to demonstrate some sexual roleplaying.


“We did a bit of that once. Padfoot wanted me to play professor to his unruly student,” Remus informed.


We’re not looking to relive youthful plays but instead-


“Youthful? No, no, this was just a few years ago. After I’d been a professor already.”

“You really were a bloody good professor,” Sirius commented with a devilish grin.


Given your penchant for you and your friends for rebelling against whatever I choose for you, I decided to let you choose what you will roleplay. Whatever you choose, it will be provided for you.


“So, if I say I want Moony to pretend he’s Ollivander trying to sell me a wand… and I should be clear by sell me a wand I mean I want him to sell me his-“

“Padfoot, please,” Remus said, rolling his eyes.

“Cock,” Sirius finished with a glare.


If that is what you both decide then you would find yourselves in that situation, though you would still be yourselves.


Remus rubbed his chin while smiling at Sirius.

“You know there was this one idea I had. It was mostly just something to toss myself off thinking about but… if you were interested, it might be fun,” Remus grinned.

“If it turns you on that’s all that matters to me,” Sirius admitted

“I knew you would say that,” Remus said, turning on the bed to give Sirius a kiss.

“So, tell me your idea.”

Remus laughed and said, “I was thinking you’re my Muggle neighbour. You catch me doing a bit of magic through my window. You stop by and-“

“Ask to see your wand?” Sirius gleefully snickered

“Something like that.”


Well, if you are both certain…


“Are we?” Sirius asked.

“We are, in fact,” Remus replied.


Very well.


There was a flash of light and Sirius suddenly found himself himself in a quaint Muggle home that appeared to be in an English village, judging by the scenery out the window.

“OK. I’m a Muggle. I’m doing Muggle things,” Sirius said, going over and picking up the handle of something on a table, hearing a strange tone from it before setting it down.

“This is a telephone. See, I know Muggle things!” Sirius called out to the ceiling.


You don’t need to impress me. You should impress the ones observing this.


“I am very impressive. Everyone thinks so!” Sirius replied, flipping his glorious, dark hair as he crept over to his window.

Remus was walking around the near window. He was wearing a Muggle suit. The bastard knew how randy Muggle suits made Sirius. He bit his lip and shook his head. Just then, Remus clearly cast a spell of some sort but the view inside his house was too dark

“Aha! That man is a wizard. I mean… I’m a Muggle. I don’t know what wizards are or if they even exist. But I have seen something impossible for which there can only be one explanation!”


It’s important when doing sexual roleplay to relax and have fun. Take your role only as seriously as is necessary.


“Oh, shut up. Nobody likes you,” Sirius sneered.


…That seems a bit harsh.


Sirius sighed.





Sirius grabbed a long, black wool cloak from the coat rack and raced out the house, strolling over in a way that he thought was especially Muggleish.

“I’m a perfectly boring Muggle. I don’t like things that are weird or different and now I must confront them,” he said, rapping on Remus’s front door with excitement.

To his surprise, Remus did not immediately open the door. He knocked again.

“Hello! Muggle here. Am I doing this wrong? Do Muggles enter houses through the windows or something?” Sirius asked up at the sky, not receiving any answer.

He knocked once more, at this point realising that Remus was definitely ignoring him.

The door finally opened, Remus looking almost bored.

“Can I help you?”

Sirius blinked, feeling caught off guard by Remus’s earnestness.

“Yes, I’m mister…” Sirius started, desperately trying to think of a proper Muggle name before finishing, “Freddie Mercury.”

The corner of Remus’s mouth twitched in an obvious near smile before returning to a more neutral look.

“What can I help you with, Mr… Mercury?”

“Well, you see I saw something strange just a short while ago-“

“You were spying? Please, come inside,” Remus said, stepping aside to allow Sirius to enter before quickly shutting and locking the door behind him.

The inside of Remus’s pretend home seemed rather normal to Sirius, normal in that it belonged to a wizard. But he needed to feign surprise.

“Wow. This is a curious place you have Mr… oh, I didn’t catch your name?” Sirius realised.

“Merlin. Merlin Dumbledore, at your service,” Remus replied, extending his hand.

“Pleased to meet you,” Sirius said, wandering over to the large bookshelf that sat against the wall.

“Be careful what you touch in here, Mr. Mercury,” Remus warned.

“Why’s that? Is anything dangerous?” Sirius said, dragging a finger along the bookcase, finding it coated with a thick layer of dust.


Careful that you don’t get too lost in your roles.


“Exercise a little patience, we’ll get to the sexy part in time,” Remus groaned.


Very well…


Sirius cleared his throat.

“So, as I was saying, Mr. Dumbledore-“

“Call me Merlin, please.”

“As I was saying… erm… Merlin, I saw something strange earlier while I was using my telephone, just like any normal Mug- erm… person would be doing. I wasn’t spying but I still saw what I saw,” Sirius declared.

Remus stepped quietly towards Sirius, his face looking curious but oddly austere. He was fucking good at this and it was kind of turning Sirius on, shifting uncomfortably in his trousers.

“And what was it that you think you saw?” Remus said cooly.

“I think I saw… magic,” Sirius whispered, loving the drama of it.

Remus chuckled and shook his head.

“I’m afraid you’re mistaken, Mr. Mercury.”

Sirius sighed. He wasn’t going to make this easy.

“Like most Mug-… non-magical people, I have enhanced senses to make up for my lack of magic powers. Therefore I know what I saw,” Sirius said, never having wanted to admit before that he assumed Muggles must have some way of making up for not having magic, and feeling proud of himself.

Remus bit his lip, clearly almost laughing, making Sirius blush though he still thought he was right. If Muggles didn’t have some way of compensating for their lack of magic then it was simply a fact that Wizards were superior and that seemed far too close to his family’s way of thinking for his own comfort.

“Fine. I can see that I am outmatched. What do you want from me?” Remus asked, openly gesturing with his hands.

Sirius approached him, looking him up and down.

“I was thinking maybe you would… show me your wand,” Sirius said, looking down into Remus’s eyes, standing so close to him.

Sirius glanced down and saw a visible bulge in Remus’s trousers. Despite his cool attitude he was definitely turned on.

“Do you find me attractive, Mr. Mercury?”

“I must admit… there’s something dreamy about your eyes,” Sirius replied.

“Is that all?”

“Oh no, I like your lips too. And the way you… mmm, fill out that suit,” Sirius explained.

Remus bit his lip and Sirius could’ve came in his pants right then and there if he had wanted.

“If you want you can pull out my wand for yourself and see what you make of it,” Remus suggested and Sirius quickly dropped to his knees.

Smiling with excitement, Sirius quickly undid Remus’s trousers, pulling out the object in question and gazing upon it with wide eyed wonder.

“My goodness, Mr. Merlin. Are all wands so… robust?” Sirius inquired, stroking the long, thick shaft as if it were the first time.

“You might say I’m a very special wizard. Though I promise you that it’s the quality of my wand, not its size that should impress you.”

“I’d love to find out,” Sirius declared, his fingers gliding over the velvety softness of Remus’s foreskin and feeling his cock twitch in his pants.

“Suck me off adequately and I’ll show you how a real wizard fucks an arse,” Remus growled.

Sirius wet his lips then wrapped them around the head of Remus’s cock. There were few things in life as perfect as the heat of Remus pressing against Sirius’s tongue or the salty taste of his arousal.

Sirius sucked like it was the first time and he was really looking to impress this hot neighbour. And this was Remus’s fantasy after all, he should really live up to it.

“Ugh. Can all Muggles suck cock like that?” Remus called down.

“Please, no one can suck cock like me,” Sirius winked, making Remus chuckle.

He knew the bastard was arguing with Sirius in his head but quickly distracted him by putting his cock back in his mouth.

“Mmm. Fuck!” Remus called out, Sirius’s mouth gliding all over the head of his cock.

Sirius carried on until Remus finally pulled away, breathing hard and grinning.

“You’re quite the talent. How about you come upstairs with me and I show you what I can do?”

“You don’t have to ask me twice, Mr. Merlin,” Sirius declared, taking Remus’s hand as he lead him up the wooden staircase and into his bedroom at the top of the stairs.

The bedroom was a large open room with some wizard paintings hanging up, none of which thankfully had any people in them who might be watching and judging their activities.

“Undress and then would you go over to the window and stand? Grip the sill and wait for me,” Remus suggested firmly.

“What if I’m seen?” Sirius asked as he begun to remove his Muggle clothes, letting the long coat he had brought with him fall to the floor dramatically.

“The only thing anyone will see is me pounding your arse the way only the finest wizard can,” Remus said, slicking up his cock with lubricating potion.

“What’s that? We… Muggles did you call us? We Muggles don’t do anything like that… do we?” Sirius asked up at the ceiling.


Lube is always advisable, regardless of magical status.


“Ah. Cheers. Haha, silly me. Lubricant. Of course. I never stick a cock up my arse without a spot of lube!”

“The window,” Remus reminded Sirius as he finished undressing.

Sirius almost wished there was someone to watch them as he stood in front of the window, tall enough that his cock was easily exposed. Though he supposed that he was being watched, not by anyone in this imaginary world but whoever existed on the other side, watching from the outside.

Remus appeared behind him, sliding his hot, slick cock against the crack of his arse, his hands wrapping around his waist, his lips pressing into the tenderness of his shoulder.

Sirius wondered if he should pretend to ask Remus to be gentle or if he should beg him to be rough. He decided to leave it in Remus’s capable hands as Remus slid the head of his cock to Sirius’s hole.

Sirius began to stroke himself as Remus pushed the head inside.

“Oh. It’s so big!” Sirius cooed in feigned surprise.

“You’ve got a tight little arsehole on you, Mr. Mercury,” Remus said, easing himself inside.

Remus’s fingers curled around Sirius’s thighs, gripping him tightly as he began to thrust upward. The feeling of being so blissfully filled by his lover always provided Sirius with such immense joy. It was so warm and just… so much.

“Mmm. You feel so good,” Remus grunted, the sounds of his thighs smacking into Sirius’s arse sounding amazing.

Sirius already was forced to pull his hand off of his own cock for fearing of coming too fast. He hadn’t realised how turned on he really was, that familiar pressure from within seeming suddenly very strong.

Sirius closed his eyes, putting the overcast skies of the village out of his mind and just focusing the feel and sounds of Remus, his eternal lover behind him, grunting, gasping and moaning.

To his surprise, he felt Remus’s hand slide over his cock, still sticky with lube.

“Oh, that feels good, ugh,” Sirius growled through clenched teeth.

“I’m getting close, Mr. Mercury,” Remus whispered, sounding tense.

“Yes, fill my Muggle arse with your hot wizard come!” Sirius called out, Remus finally breaking character, laughing as he pounded Sirius’s arse.

“Oh, yeah. Here it comes,” Remus quietly declared before loudly moaning, pushing deep and holding it, his hand still stroking Sirius.

Remus whimpered as Sirius began to thrust, fucking Remus’s hand. Remus got the picture and began desperately stroking Sirius.

“Mmm. Wizards really do know a thing or two about… Oh, Merlin!” Sirius moaned, his cock twitching then sending a spurt out the window, making them both laugh as Sirius was filled with euphoric pleasure.

“Well, that’s one way to fertilise my garden,” Remus quipped through heavy breaths, making Sirius roar with laughter, his cock still shooting out onto the sill.


Very good. This was an excellent demonstration.


“Cheers. Merlin, that’s weird. It’s like God giving you good marks for a shag well done,” Sirius complained, Remus pulling himself out.

“It is a bit, yeah,” Remus agreed.

“Now, what do we do? Is it back to nothingness with us?” Sirius asked.


Uhh… Well, that concludes today’s lesson. Let’s let our subjects have some much deserved privacy, shall we?


“I mean, I don’t mind being watched?” Remus noted.

“Oh, no, I find it quite exhilarating to be frank,” Sirius replied.

“I mean it’s bizarre and slightly terrifying but there are worse ways to spend your afterlife,” Remus observed, taking Sirius by the hand over to the bed.

Chapter Text

James blinked, then looked around the room. Remus, Sirius and Lily were there with him.

“James!” Sirius cried.

Remus and Sirius tackled James against the bed while Lily laughed nearby.

“Oh, I see. James gets all the love,” Lily said sarcastically.

The two men climbed off of James and went over and wrapped their arms around Lily as a voice began to speak:


Welcome back. Tonight we’re going to explore the concept of threesomes.


“Come again?” James said.


Tonight we’re going to explore-


“No, no. I heard you. I just… what?” James asked with astonishment.

“The narrator can’t count. Poor bastard. There are four of us here!” Sirius explained, looking proud of himself.

“Shit, Moony. You taught Padfoot to count to four while I was dead?” James winked at his werewolf friend.

“No, I think we were up to six by the time he… well…” Remus coughed, looking uncomfortable.

“Fuck you both. Truly,” Sirius groaned.

“Well, lads, given what we’re here for you might get the chance!” Lily chimed in.


Yes, I thought since things have been going so well you all might like to pick your partners. Talk amongst the four of you and then we can proceed.


The four of them looked back and forth between each other. Lily nudged James with an elbow. He glanced at her and she gave him a wink.

“I mean, I’m not really into girls. Or anyone but Moony. But I mean, whatever,” Sirius shrugged.

Lily elbowed James again. He could feel himself turning hot and trying to avoid looking at Remus. Apparently not even death could stop his tiny crush on his best mate’s boyfriend. In life he never would’ve acted on it. He was straight and Sirius would’ve kicked his arse.

On the other hand, he wondered if he would rather sit back and watch Lily shag his two best friends instead. He smiled over at her and shrugged.

“I mean, I guess, Lily and I have already been together before. Though that was just teenage experimenting,” Remus said.

“I’ve never been with anyone but Moony. The idea… never really has occurred to me. There’s only ever been him. But seeing as this is our afterlife… I wouldn’t say no to some exploration,” Sirius said.

“What do you think, Prongs?” Remus asked.

“Uhhh. I mean… haha. Whatever you guys want is fine with me. If you want to play with Lily, I wouldn’t blame you, she’s uh… really… energetic,” James stammered.

Remus smiled at him and James melted a little inside. He very much wanted any configuration that involved himself and Remus but he also didn’t want to be the one to suggest it.

“I don’t know. I think I might sit this one out,” Lily said, giving James another wink.

Sirius laughed.

“What’s so funny, Padfoot?” Remus asked.

“Oh. I was just a hair’s breadth from saying the same thing. I don’t have much interest in fucking my best friend or his wife,” Sirius admitted.

“Oh, so you’d be OK with watching them… touching me… their hands all over my body? Doing all the things to me that you like to do?” Remus said soft and low with a sly grin on his face.

Sirius went red and he sighed.

“I’ll confess that it’s not my idea of a good time,” Sirius grumbled.

“Well, then, wouldn’t it be more fun if it was you, James and Remus? Then you’d have some level of control over your own personal comfort,” Lily suggested, rubbing Sirius’s shoulder.

Sirius’s grey eyes studied her for a moment then he smiled.

“I suppose you’re right,” Sirius said.

Lily nodded.

“I’m good that way,” Lily winked.

James smiled at his wife, feeling relieved she had helped him to not have to make the choice. Even now he could keep his secret.

“So what about it, Prongs? Are you up for finding out what it’s like?” Sirius asked.

James could feel his cock stirring in his trousers but he wanted to play this cool.

“I don’t know. I guess I could. I mean if Lily approves…” James said, looking into her green eyes.

“I more than approve. I insist!” Lily smirked.

“Well, then. The ayes have it!” Sirius said, patting James and Lily’s shoulders.


If Mrs. Potter would like to go sit in a chair in the corner, things could proceed. Or if she would prefer we could transport her out of here.


“Oh, no, no. If It’s a choice between watching my husband shagging a couple of hot blokes and going back into actual nothingness, I don’t see how it’s a real choice,” Lily said, gleefully dashing over to the chair.

“She’s keen,” Remus noted.

“Very,” James replied.

Just then Remus took one of James’s hands in his own. James glanced at him and smiled. Sirius took his other hand and he laughed.

“Are you embarrassed, Prongs?” Sirius asked.

“A little. It’s OK. I can do this. Gay me up, Scotty!” James called out, faintly recalling that old TV show Lily was so fond of, Star Tracks he thought it was called.


Since only one of you has ever had a threesome before, perhaps you should let him lead.


“What? None of us has ever-“ Sirius started.

Remus cleared his throat and gave Sirius an apologetic look.

“Moony!” Sirius shrieked.

“Oh, relax, Padfoot. You were… gone for a long time. I did a lot of things. Some that I regret and others that I do not. But I promise that you’re the only one I’ve ever truly been in love with,” Remus said, his brown eyes gazing at Sirius, his devotion obvious.

Sirius tilted his head and said, “Oh yeah, well, what about my cousin?”

Remus coughed and cleared his throat again.

“Uh… yeah, so, James. Would you like one of us to kiss you?” Remus said.

“Yes,” James said.

“Which one of us? You can pick,” Remus suggested.

He wanted so bad to say Remus without hesitation but instead he replied, “Sirius, I suppose.”

Sirius chuckled and licked his lips.

“Time to find out what the fuss is about. Lily always seemed so keen on snogging you any chance you got,” Sirius recalled, as he stepped towards James.

The two of them were a similar height and it was easy for their lips to find each other. The kiss felt a little awkward at first but Sirius made a soft, pleased sound and their lips began to move in soft unison. James touched Sirius’s cheek and he laughed, quickly pulling a way.

“The hand, mate! You made it weird!” Sirius giggled.

“It’s about to get a whole lot weirder, Padfoot,” Remus said as James turned towards him.

Remus was considerably shorter but was obviously very used to having to lean up to kiss a much taller lover, his hand wrapping around James’s bicep as his lips pressed into James’s. The kiss felt exactly like James had imagined it. His cock got hard lightning fast. Kissing Sirius was nice but kissing Remus was a real treat.

He felt as Remus reached around his back, pulling him closer. That close, James was certain that Remus could feel his erection and he thought he could feel Remus too.

The kiss must’ve been something nice to watch as he could hear Lily clapping and cheering off in her corner.

“Bloody hell,” Sirius chuckled.

Remus pulled away, a beautiful smile on his face.

“That was nice,” Remus observed.

“I’d say. Prongs is popping a tent,” Sirius said, gesturing at James’s trousers.

“I may be straight but I know a good kiss when I feel one,” James explained.


Perhaps you would all like to get undressed.


“Hell yeah!” Lily called out.

James looked back at his wife and smirked.

“Perhaps we would,” James said and began to unbutton his shirt.

“Between the three of us, I like it better when we start off naked,” Remus said, tossing his shirt and sweater aside.

“Definitely,” Sirius said.

Suddenly there was a flash of light. Once it passed the three of them were standing there totally nude.

“Fucking shit!” Sirius shrieked at the ceiling.

“You could warn us!” James added while Lily cackled in the background.


Sorry. But for future reference, if you have need of anything, you need only ask.


“Cheers,” Remus said flatly then smiled at them all.

James observed his two friends’s naked bodies. They both looked good but he couldn’t help but linger over Remus longer. He was less scarred than James thought he would be. But then again, he looked as he did after they had finished Hogwarts. He had always received good care from Pomfrey at school.

Remus did look a little too thin but James could remember how terrible he looked at the end of the war. James didn’t like to think of those days. He suddenly wanted to take Remus aside and tell him, promise him that he never for even moment believed he was a spy. But then again, James realised, it was that love and undying faith in his friends that had been his own undoing…

James swallowed and slid a finger behind his glasses to wipe at his eye, hoping it was quick enough that neither of his friends would notice. Sirius, for his part, had reached over to stroke Remus’s cock.

Oh, Sirius had joked about the size of Remus’s prick a great many times and James had seen it soft before but here it was, standing tall, thick and proud, his best mate’s long fingers wrapped around it, slowly stroking up and down its length.

“Oh, look, Moony. Prongs sees something he likes,” Sirius said.

“I’m… curious, I’ll admit,” James replied.

Sirius smirked at Remus then let go of Remus’s cock and said, “Give it a go, if you like.”

James gulped and stepped forward. The closer he got the bigger it seemed to get. It was nearly as thick as his own cock but much longer. It was truly beautiful. He glanced up into Remus’s eyes and he nodded with approval as James slid his palm down the underside of Remus’s shaft.

He wrapped his hand around the base, slowly dragging his fingers up the shaft, feeling the softness of his foreskin and the pulsing heat within as he made it to the red, swollen head, lightly moving his fingers in a circle up and down over the ridge of the head as Remus made a high pitched sound.

“I like it when Lily does that to me,” James said, letting his hand glide over the head then back down the shaft.

Suddenly James felt hands on his hips. Sirius had moved behind him.

“Do you mind if I touch you, Prongs?” Sirius whispered in his ear.

“Go right ahead,” James replied, surprised that Sirius was able to put his own discomfort aside so quickly, though he certainly wasn’t going to complain.

He felt Sirius’s own hardness press into the crack of his arse, the heat of his body feeling nice. James continued stroking Remus’s cock, adding a second hand. He wasn’t really trying to work Remus up. He just wanted to get a feel for him.

He wasn’t as nervous as he expected as Sirius’s hand slid around to grip his own cock. Sirius kissed the back of James’s neck and squeezed his cock, making James moan.

Remus began to move closer, hindering James’s ability to stroke Remus’s cock. He touched James’s chin with a finger then leaned up to a kiss. James felt Sirius’s hand brush his own as Sirius held James and Remus’s cocks together in a gentle vice, softly stroking.

“Oh, fuck,” James said, finding the feeling of Remus’s cock against his own very arousing.

“It’s not so bad, is it, Prongs?” Sirius said softly, planting kisses against his neck.

“No. No, it’s not,” James replied, finding his pelvis was beginning to rock, craving friction.


Just wanted you all to know I think you’re doing just great.


“Thanks?” James said up at the ceiling.

“The voice of God or whatever is quite the character,” Sirius said, James being instantly drawn back to the feeling of his cock sliding against Remus’s as Sirius’s hand rubbed them both.

Remus was staring down at their cocks with an intense look on his face as he said, “Padfoot, which of us is going to suck Prongs off first?”

“Let’s get him on the bed and we can take turns,” Sirius suggested.

Remus and Sirius moved away and both fell back against the large bed. James flopped between them. Both of them moved their hands to his cock but it was Remus who first bent his head over, taking his cock much deeper than James anticipated.

“Fuck!” James grunted as Remus’s mouth glided up and down his thick shaft.

James looked over at Sirius who was frantically stroking his own cock. James gestured at Sirius and he leaned over and gave him a kiss. James knew if he weren’t so fucking turned on that it might not be so easy to kiss his best friend that way but right now he was so aroused he wasn’t sure what his limits were.

“Padfoot?” Remus said, nodding at James’s cock.

Sirius moved his head down to James’s cock and sucked, not taking him so deep but having a sweet, sensual style that felt amazing.

“Unnhh,” James moaned, biting his lip and looking at Remus who was now stroking himself.

“I wanna suck it. I wanna suck your cock, Moony,” James said.

Remus grinned and got his knees, crawling towards James. James bent over, licked his lips and wrapped his mouth around the head. It felt so hot. The tip was covered in bitter, salty arousal. James didn’t think it was so bad at all as he began to suck over the head.

“Mmm. Damn, Prongs. Where’d you learn to suck like that?” Remus asked.

James wanted to tell Remus how often he’d fantasised about sucking him off before but also had no intention of removing his hand. Down below, Sirius was sucking so hard he thought for sure he was going to come but thankfully Sirius kept pulling his mouth off before he went too far.

James wondered how Lily was doing. She hadn’t said anything in a while. Perhaps she had gotten bored. He glanced over and saw that she was leaning back in her chair, her trousers undone and her hand moving about in her knickers. Good for her, he thought.


If anyone wants to try anal sex there’s some lube on the the table next to the bed.


Sirius popped his mouth off James’s cock and said, “Impatient, aren’t you? Very, well, who wants to get his arse fucked?”

“I’ve uh… I’ve never done that. Umm.. Lils and I talked about it but then we… Umm… well, you know,” James said.

Remus bit his lip and said, “I kind of want to let James fuck me. Gonna need lots of lube with that much girth, though.”

Lily chuckled in the background and the men began to change positions. Remus got on his elbows and knees, his beautiful arse raised up. Sirius brought the lube to the bed, pouring a stream onto Remus’s arsehole then pouring some more onto James’s cock, rubbing it in really good.

“Damn, Remus. Better let me finger your arse first,” Sirius said.

“Be my guest,” Remus replied.

Sirius slicked up his fingers then gently pushed them inside, curving down, his other hand stroking James’s wet cock.

“I never knew you were so coordinated, Sirius. The Sirius Black I knew had a tendency to walk into walls and trip over chairs,” James noticed.

Sirius laughed.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. I’ve always been the best at everything,” Sirius insisted.

“Honestly, that feels really good Padfoot, but I would definitely like a cock in my arse now,” Remus urged.

“Hey, I just don’t want Prongs breaking you,” Sirius replied, pulling his fingers out of Remus’s arse.


Just be gentle, use a lot of lubricant and take your time. If your partner expresses discomfort stop and find out how to make them more comfortable.


“Cheers,” James replied, though in truth he was nervous and definitely didn’t want to hurt the beautiful man bent over before him.

James scooted forward and Sirius guided the head of James’s cock to Remus’s arsehole.

“I’ve uh… never fucked a pussy but… I know enough to know you can’t just fuck an arse like you fuck a pussy. So I guess… heed the advice,” Sirius suggested.

“OK,” James said.

James gently pushed the tip inside. Remus grunted. James could remember the first time he had sex with Lily. He’d had to go slow then too. This was like that he supposed. But as he pushed inside Remus he knew that it definitely didn’t feel like Lily. It was tighter. Much, much tighter. When Lily was good and randy he didn’t even have to push that hard to slide all the way in but with Remus’s arse that wasn’t an option.

“Wow, Moony. I’ve never seen your arse stretched so wide. It’s… really something. How does it feel?” Sirius asked.

“It feels good. I guess it feels the way it feels when I fuck you, though Prongs is a bit thicker,” Remus said as James pushed in and out of him.

Sirius moved behind James, pressing his erection against James again.

“Prongs, would you like a finger up your bum?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah. OK,” James said, currently unable to think about much else but the tightness of Remus around his cock.

Moments later, James felt pressure against his arsehole, one of Sirius’s long fingers sliding inside.

“Oh! That feels good,” James said.

“Yeah. Feel when it hits that spot? It’s nice, isn’t it?” Sirius said.

“Very,” James replied.

“Can I add another finger?” Sirius asked.

“Please, do. Actually… if you want to fuck me you can,” James said, having seen that Sirius’s cock was smaller than either his or Remus’s.

Meanwhile, Remus had begun to pushback against James’s cock, his moans getting loud. James leaned over and reached around Remus to grab his cock, stroking as best he could from that angle.

Behind him, Sirius gently penetrated his arse.

“Ohhh, shit! Wow. That’s… tight,” James called out.

Somewhere in the room he could hear Lily making sounds but too much was happening to process them.

“Fuck. I always knew you were a tight arse, Prongs, but damn,” Sirius snarked.

“Fuck you, Padfoot,” James snarked back.

As Sirius began to thrust he realised the error of his words and went back to focusing on Remus, whose arse was feeling really good. Sirius held inside of James, moving in rhythm with James’s own slow thrusts into Remus. It was taking an enormous amount of willpower not to come at this moment.

“Prongs, you can let go of my cock. I’ve got it. I just want you to come in me,” Remus begged.

“Are you sure?” James asked.

“Yes,” Remus moaned as James relinquished his hold on Remus’s cock.

“Yes, come in him,” Sirius whispered, his lips sucking on the side of James’s neck.

James increased his speed, feeling his swollen bollocks smacking into Remus’s.

“Mmm. Yeah. I’m close,” James said.

“Come on, Prongs. You can see how bad Moony wants it. The way he’s thrusting back and moving his hips. He needs it,” Sirius breathed into James’s ear.

“Uhhh. Shit!” James called out, feeling a surge within him that rose to a swell as he felt himself ejaculate hard, a loud, shaky moan falling from his mouth.

Remus continued to push back, as if he were urging every last drop to be spilled but James could only think one thought at the moment.

“Moony, I want to suck you off,” James revealed.

“Mmm. How about I roll over and watch Padfoot pound your arse while you suck me off?” Remus suggested.

“Works for me,” James said.

James pulled out of Remus and he rolled over. James bent over, lifting Remus’s cock with his hands and beginning to suck the head hard as Sirius’s hands gripped his hips, slamming into his arse.

“Fuck, your arse feels good, Prongs! I’m so close,” Sirius said.

“I’m close too, Padfoot. Wait for me,” Remus begged.

“OK,” Sirius said.

James wanted to make Remus come so badly. He wanted to taste him. He wanted to hear the way he moaned. He had fantasised about it for so long.

“Oh. Oh, yeah. Mmmm,” Remus moaned hard and James felt his cock twitch as a stream of hot, salty fluid spilled over his tongue.

“Ahhhh. Fuck!” Sirius cried out, his thrusts becoming frantic as he started to whimper.

James thought this was perfect. His two best mates both getting off because of him. Friendship was truly a beautiful thing. In the background he heard what was definitely Lily moaning. Even better, he thought.

“Wow,” James said.

“Yeah. Wow,” Remus said.

The three of them collapsed to the bed, all breathing hard. Lily came running over with a grin on her face.

“Hey, Lils,” Remus said.

“Hey. That looked like fun,” she said.

“It’s not the worst way to spend the afterlife,” Sirius replied.


Well, this concludes tonight’s lesson. I hope you all learned something useful.


“They’ve all learned that if you’ve had a crush on your best mate’s boyfriend for years you’ll probably need your wife to give everyone the right nudge to make it happen,” Lily said.

Everyone laughed and James, “Cheers, Lils.”

“Yeah, cheers,” Remus said.

“I’m sure you'll all find a way to make it up to me,” she said, falling back against the bed as they all began to cuddle.

Chapter Text

Good evening. Remus and Sirius are here to help demonstrate public sex.


“We are?” Sirius asked.

“Apparently,” Remus replied making Sirius chuckle.


Only if you want to, of course, though you haven’t turned down anything yet.


“We’re listening,” Sirius said with a smile.

“And we still haven’t anything better to do,” Remus added.


Very well! I thought it might be fun for the two of you to try a little public sex.


“I mean we’ve had a shag or two while in the woods. Or while other people were in the house,” Remus said.

“And we had sex in front of the window that time we role-played,” Sirius noted.


Well, yes but this will be different… My proposal is that we stick you… in the real world. Somewhere you’ve never been before.


“Like the moon?” Sirius smirked.

“Don’t encourage him, Padfoot. I don’t want to find out what would happen to me on the moon,” Remus grumbled.

“Are you still a werewolf? I’m not really clear on that,” Sirius said, feeling confused.


Mr. Lupin is still a werewolf but don’t worry, we would never put you at risk of encountering a full moon.


“Cheers,” Remus said.

“Who is we?” Sirius asked.




Sirius sighed.


Well, anyhow, we… er… I will drop you somewhere you’ve never been before with a mission to have sex somewhere public without getting caught. If you’re caught I will pull you back out.


“So you’re saying if we want to get our rocks off at all we have to be careful?” Remus grinned.

“Oh, now this could be interesting,” Sirius said.


Yes, something like that.


“Do we get to pick where we go?” Remus asked.




“Should we get in the mood?” Remus asked.

“Your cock is hard, Moony. I can see it,” Sirius said, pointing at the obvious bulge in Remus’s trousers.

Remus smiled and placed a hand on Sirius’s thigh. He felt his cock almost instantly get hard as Remus leaned over for a kiss.

“Nevermind. We’re good,” Remus said as he pulled away.

“So how do we get started?” Sirius asked and there was suddenly a flash of light.

Once the light faded they found themselves in a location that definitely wasn’t familiar.

“Slytherin’s bollocks, where are we?” Sirius called up at the sky.

“Must be America,” Remus observed.

Sirius looked around. This was certainly a Muggle place, he could tell that much. But Sirius also felt that he knew as little about Americans as he did Muggles. There were a variety of quaint shoppes about with cars parked in front of them. The roads were paved in red brick. It was a nice sunny day wherever they were.


This is a small town somewhere in America. The exact details don’t really matter.


“You made this up, didn’t you. It’s not even a real place!” Sirius called up, noticing some people walking on the sidewalk on the other side of the road give him a weird look.


I assure you this place is every bit as real as you are.


Sirius started to ask a question for clarification but decided he didn’t really want the answer to that.

“Well, we’re here now. Umm… what exactly are we supposed do? Go into a shop and try to suck each other off before the Muggle policemen come in and shoot us?” Sirius asked.

“I don’t think they would shoot us, Padfoot,” Remus groaned.

“This is America. They love guns. Actually, can we have our wands?” Sirius asked.


I think it’s best that you don’t use any magic here.


“Never feels right to leave the house without my wand. It’s like missing a hand. It’s obscene,” Sirius complained.

“Relax, Padfoot. Let’s find somewhere private,” Remus said and took Sirius by the hand as they walked down the sidewalk.

There did seem to be a lot of Muggles around. They got a few odd looks but not as many as Sirius expected.

“Narrator, how come no one is freaking out about us holding hands? Being two blokes and all,” Sirius inquired.


This is in a later year from when you both… meet your prior ends. It’s a somewhat more accepting time.


“Well, maybe getting caught wouldn’t be such a bad thing,” Sirius said.


Don’t push your luck.


“Do shut up, Padfoot,” Remus said softly.

Sirius laughed but said no more as they strolled down towards what appeared to be a park.

“There’s some trees on the other side of that park. Looks like there’s a trail going through. We could follow the trail then go off the path a bit,” Remus suggested.

“That’s basically cheating. Are you afraid of getting caught?” Sirius snarked.

“No. I’m afraid of not getting to come. Remember if we get caught the fun ends,” Remus said.

“Sod this,” Sirius said, and pulled Remus off the sidewalk and into the nearby alley.

“What are you doing?” Remus asked.

“Making sure you get to come,” Sirius said, pulling Remus around a corner.

“There are literally people walking by,” Remus said.

“They can’t see us from this angle. Unless someone walks down the alley. And if they do… we’ll improvise,” Sirius said, dropping down to his knees and hurriedly trying to get Remus’s cock out of his trousers.

“Yes, tell them you were just helping me fix my zipper,” Remus said then gasped as Sirius took the head of his cock in his mouth.

Remus moaned. Sirius loved to tease Remus but the risk of getting caught meant he couldn’t prolong things the way he normally would.

“Someone’s coming!” Remus whispered and Sirius pulled his mouth off his cock and looked around.

“I don’t see anyone,” Sirius said.

“False alarm,” Remus said.

Sirius gripped around the back of Remus’s thighs and sucked his cock with full force.

“Fuck. I’m close. Hnnh,” Remus grunted.

Remus didn’t need to tell him that he was close. Sirius always knew.

“Mmm. Fuck. Oh yeah. There it is. Mmmm,” Remus moaned as his cock spurted onto Sirius’s tongue.

Sirius heard a dog barking somewhere as he sucked every last drop of Remus down his throat.

“Padfoot, I’ve got an idea,” Remus said as Sirius wiped his mouth and put Remus’s cock back in his trousers.

“What’s that, Moony my love?” Sirius asked as he stood up.

“See that ladder?” Remus asked pointing at the ladder on the building behind Sirius on the other side of the alley.

Sirius followed it up with eyes, revealing it led straight onto the roof. The building was three stories it appeared.

“What are you saying, Moony? Want a nice view while I fuck your arse?” Sirius said then gave his lover a kiss.

“Something like that,” Remus replied as they separated and crept over to the ladder.

Sirius looked back and forth, up and down the alley.

“The hard part is going to be getting up there without being seen,” Sirius noted.

“Just act casual,” Remus suggested.

“Moony, you know I don’t have a casual bone in my body,” Sirius complained as he started to climb up the old metal ladder.

“I suppose it’s a bloody good thing neither of us is afraid of heights,” Remus called up behind Sirius.

“I’m not afraid of heights but I’ll admit this ladder seems kind of dodgy. It’s rusted for Merlin’s sake. Do the Muggles not take care of their things?” Sirius said.

“They can’t fix things as easily as we can, Padfoot. They have busy, complicated lives,” Remus replied.

Sirius scoffed.

“How complicated can their lives really be? What problems does a Muggle have? Oh no, I’ve spilt my tea, my day is ruined,” Sirius said, hoisting himself onto the roof.

Remus only sighed as he climbed up onto the roof. The roof was mostly empty. The view was fantastic though. Whatever part of America this was, it looked nice. Sirius walked over to the edge and looked down.

“Not much chance of anyone stumbling upon us here. Not as long as we don’t get too loud,” Sirius said.

“You’re not planning on holding back, are you?” Remus smiled.

“When have I ever? Oh, umm… Narrator can we have some lube?” Sirius asked up at the sky.


There’s a vial in your trousers’s pocket.


“Cheers,” Sirius said, pulling the vial out with a smile.

“Look, Padfoot. There’s some gent across the way reading the paper on his balcony,” Remus said, pointing over at a building on the other side of the road.

“Yes, that’s good, Moony. Stand there and I’ll get you disrobed from the waist down,” Sirius said.

Remus rested his head and arms over the ledge of the building, the only part of him that would be visible. Sirius didn’t care for shagging while standing but there wasn’t exactly anywhere more comfortable up here.

Sirius came behind Remus and quickly undid his belt and zipper, pulling his trousers and pants down hard and fast until they were resting on his ankles. His perfect, shapely arse stuck out at him enticingly, Remus wiggling a little.

Sirius undid his own trousers and came behind Remus, pressing his erection against him. He was a little surprised to realise that Remus’s enormous prick was already completely hard again, the randy bastard.

Sirius dripped the vial over his cock then rubbed the lube in well. He gently eased himself into Remus’s arse, loving the warmth of him. Remus gripped his own cock and started stroking.

“Come on, Padfoot. Why the fuck aren’t you pounding my arse? Getting caught up in the view?” Remus taunted.

“Oh? I’ll show you,” Sirius replied, clamping his hands down on Remus’s hips as he started to thrust.

Sirius was tall enough to see over at the sidewalk across the road. Those Muggles were just going about their business while he buggered his boyfriend’s brains out.

“Mmm. Yes, that’s good, Padfoot,” Remus whispered.

Sirius pulled Remus’s arse into his every thrust, their skin smacking loudly on contact.

“That bloke across the way… I think he can tell something is going on. He’s making eye contact with me,” Remus said.

Sirius looked and they man was definitely looking right at them.

“Does this count? Have we been caught?” Sirius asked.


No. You’re not caught unless someone tries to stop you or arrest you.


“That’s good then,” Sirius said.

“Is he… Merlin’s beard, he is! Look!” Remus said.

Sirius looked across and saw the man casually reaching into his trousers.

“He’s having a wank! Right there on his balcony!” Remus laughed.

“No one can see him but us,” Sirius said.

“I don’t think anyone else has noticed us. But don’t take your time. I need to feel you coming inside me,” Remus declared.

“Mmm. But your arse feels so good. Don’t rush me,” Sirius growled.

“If we get caught and you end up with nothing to show for all this but a pair of swollen bollocks, don’t come crying to me,” Remus replied.

A bird came and flew over onto the ledge not far from them.

“A bird is watching me fuck your arse, Moony,” Sirius said.

“Can you blame it?” Remus asked and the bird fly away.

“I suppose not. How is our admirer doing?” Sirius asked.

“He’s really going at it. Look at him. He’s watching us watch him. That’s kind of hot, isn’t?” Remus said.

“Well, as long as he doesn’t get any ideas,” Sirius said, the tension filling his body, telling him he wasn’t going to be able to hold on much longer.

Remus laughed.

“Are you really jealous over some Muggle having a wank?” Remus asked.

“I’m just saying. As long as he stays in his place. I’m not into sharing,” Sirius said.

“You shared with James,” Remus pointed out.

“Shut up, I’m about to come,” Sirius said, biting his lip.

“Are you? Good. I’m close too. Now come for me, Padfoot. Come in me!” Remus urged.

Sirius moaned deep as he exploded inside Remus’s arse. Remus’s hand on his own cock got frantic and seconds later his body jerked, sending spurts of come onto the painted cement at their feet.

Sirius held deep inside Remus and looked out at their admirer who was writhing in his chair, clearly having finished himself.

“Mmm. Damn, that was good. And you weren’t too bad either, Moony,” Sirius said, finally pulling out of Remus’s arse.

“Cheers,” Remus said, bending down to pull his trousers back up.

Sirius pulled up his own trousers and looked around the town.

“This is a nice place. The world seems so peaceful here,” Sirius said.


Why don’t you go for a walk? Since you’ve done so well.


“That would be nice. We could take a look at that park, after all,” Sirius said.

“Maybe wander off the trail…” Remus added with a wink.

Sirius smiled at his lover. With the sun shining down on him and a post coital glow about him, Remus had never looked more beautiful. Sirius stepped forward and gave him a kiss.


Well, I think that’s all for this time. Let’s give the boys some time alone, shall we?

Chapter Text

Lily opened her eyes. In front of her was her husband, lying back naked and very obviously aroused with a smile on his face.

“Oh, it’s this time again,” Lily grinned.


Yes, welcome back, everyone.


“Who is everyone, again?” Lily asked with a wink, realising quickly that she was wearing a bathrobe and literally nothing else.


Um… Tonight James and Lily are going to explore something that we have touched upon lightly before but haven’t fully explored: orgasm denial.


“I’m guessing my husband is going to be the one getting teased?” Lily smirked.


At his request.


“We can submit requests? Do we have to send you a letter? Or just like… think it really hard?” Lily asked the ceiling.


They are the requests of your innermost souls.


Lily laughed and said, “You’re telling me in his innermost soul, James just wants me to give him blue balls?”


Erm… not exactly. Don’t overthink it.


“I’m just along for the ride, mate,” Lily said, hands on her hips.

“Wait… I’m not gonna get blue balls am I? Won’t that… give me cancer or make me sterile or something?” James grimaced.

“One: this is your fantasy. Two: we’re still dead, James,” Lily said, striding around the bed and leaning over to wrap a hand around his thick shaft.


The blue balls phenomenon is wildly misunderstood. It is true that when aroused for extended periods, the testicles can begin to hurt in unpleasant ways, it is actually built up pressure from blood flow to the testicles, not built up ejaculate. It will generally not cause long term harm and is easily relieved by ejaculating by any method, including masturbation.


Lily blinked.

“Cool?” Lily said.

“So, basically, you’re saying Lily can… really make me hurt down there and my bollocks won’t explode or kill me?” James said.




James smiled and said, “Sounds good to me. Actually, they are already kinda aching. I think just talking about it is getting me more turned on. Thinking about all that… blood flow.”

Lily bit her lip, rubbing his shaft with the palm of her hand.

“Me too,” Lily winked.


Next to the bed is a cock ring. You’ll also find some handcuffs you can use to restrain him and some blindfolds to add more mystery.


“Cock ring?” Lily asked as she went over to examine the table next to the bed, finding a pair of handcuffs and a small rubbery ring.

“I’ve heard of cock rings. We have spells that do the same thing. It will keep my willy hard and make it harder to come,” James said.

“Ooo. Neat,” Lily said as she handcuffed James’s hands to railing at the front of the bed, then slipped a blindfold over his eyes.

Lily went back over the table and picked up the cock ring, examining it.

“This will fit over his cock? It’s kind of thick. I won’t hurt him, will I?” Lily asked.


It should be fine. It stretches and you can use some lubricant to make it easier to slip down the shaft.


“All right,” Lily said, using the bottle of lubricant sitting on the table to wet the inner part of the ring then climbing onto the bed.

Lily grabbed his cock, still very hard, and gently slid the ring down the shaft, as far down as it would go.

“How does that feel?” Lily asked.

“Tight. In a good way,” James said.

Lily smiled and rubbed his shaft, curving her hand over the head with a twist of her wrist.

“Mmm,” James moaned, Lily looking forward to making him whimper.

Her hand slid all over, up and down and around his shaft. She knew from experience that the trick was, in part, to take it slow. Any fool could stroke him hard and have him right on the edge but it was much more fun to slowly work him up and he’d be less likely to come too fast.

“Damn, it’s really hard, James. That ring really does the trick,” Lily said, squeezing the shaft at the base.

“Yeah,” he breathed in response, already sounding tense and she’d barely started.

Lily calmly stroked, her eyes mesmerised by the glide of his foreskin. It was almost a torment for her too. She was definitely pretty turned on herself. It made her want to suck him off or even ride his cock. Mostly, however, it made her want to touch herself or get him to touch her. As her hand glided over the head of his cock, she imagined the possibilities, within her thighs feeling hot and damp.

“What are you thinking about, James?” Lily asked.

“I’m kind of just in the moment. I thinking how good this feels, even though I want more friction. But I also don’t want more friction. I want to want more friction,” James said softly.

“I’m thinking about all the shit I want to do to you. I’m getting really wet,” Lily snickered.

Lily looked up and saw James bite his lip then grin.

“That’s a nice thought,” James said.

Lily kept one hand on James’s shaft, then slipped the other inside her bathrobe, spreading her thighs enough to explore her slit, finding it even more slick than she expected. She couldn’t help herself from briefly rubbing her clit before returning the hand to James’s cock, rubbing some of her juices onto his head, James none the wiser.

Lily lowered her head to his cock, curving her tongue and licking straight up the shaft, flicking the head and making him squirm.

“Merlin!” he gasped, making Lily giggle.

Lily wet her lips then very slowly wrapped them around the head, holding it in place, her tongue gently massaging it.

“Oh!” James almost yelped as Lily slowly dragged her lips off the head, kissing the tip before going back to stroking it.

“Really getting hot in here,” Lily said, even though she knew she wasn’t exactly wearing much.

“Don’t I know it?” James chuckled.

Lily momentarily released James’s cock, undoing the tie of the bathrobe then pulling it off, allowing it to fall to the floor.

“That’s better,” she said then once again felt between her legs, moaning as she slid her clit between two fingers.

“What are you doing?” James asked.

“Hmm. You’ll just have to imagine,” Lily teased.

“Merlin. You’re so devious, Lils,” James groaned.

“You have no idea,” Lily said, moving her mouth to his cock, moving her lips as close to his flesh as she could without actually touching.

His cock twitched as she breathed over the head, a clear sign that he could feel her near. Lily chuckled to herself, getting an even better idea. She crouched on the bed, lifting a leg to James’s other side then positioning herself right over his cock.

“Merlin, I can feel your heat,” James gasped.

“I’m really randy, James. Can’t stop thinking about how good it would feel to have you inside me,” Lily revealed, though mostly she just wanted to work him up further.

“That sounds good,” James said.

“I bet it does,” Lily teased, stroking her clit right over his cock.

“Mmm,” she moaned, thinking how easy it would be to just let him slip inside.

She moved the head of his cock to her hole. He whimpered as she let the tip gently probe into her sopping wet pussy.

“Fuck. That’s not fair,” James grunted.

“I just wanted to show you how wet I am. Is that so cruel?” Lily laughed.

“You’re good at this. Too good. Fuck,” James said.

Lily lifted off him then examined his prick up close. She gently cupped his bollocks. They looked and felt heavy and hot. She dragged her finger tips up his bollocks, over the ring and up his shaft. She lifted the head to her mouth, giving it a very slow, hard suck, getting a slight taste of her own tartness.

Lily next hopped off the bed, deciding to employ the lubricant to take this game to the next level. She poured a healthy amount of lube all over his shaft, then rubbed it in.

“Shit, shit. It’s so sensitive, Lils,” James breathed.

“Good,” she said proudly.

“Fuck,” he replied, the palm of her hand rubbing the lube into the head.

“Oh, yeah. That’s nice and slick,” Lily said, her hand effortlessly drifting over his cock.

“Do you want me to tell you if I’m going to come?” James said.

“You think I can’t tell?” Lily said.

“That’s fair,” James replied.

Lily focused herself. She had James right where she wanted him. She had put ideas in his mind and he looked more aroused that she had perhaps ever seen him. Her hand twisted up and down the shaft, slow and sure. James’s breathing quickened its pace and he went mostly silent, save for moans and grunts.

“Oh,” he moaned, his body tensed up so she swiftly removed her hand, his cock twitching as she let go.

After letting it rest a moment she picked it back up, working him back up to another near peak, biting his lip and letting out a whimper. So she did it again and again, losing count eventually. His cock and bollocks were very red.

“Bloody hell, James. Your bollocks… do they hurt?” Lily asked.

“Yeah. It’s OK. Don’t stop,” James pleaded so she took his cock in her hand again.

She realised the lube had mostly dried up so she grabbed the bottle and poured some more, wishing she had her own brewed lubricating potion to help out.

“Damn, James. I really want to climb on top of you. I want to feel you inside of me. Wouldn’t that be good?” Lily teased.

James whimpered and she pulled away her hand.

“Fuck. I can’t think… of that. Or anything. Just thinking of that… ahhh. Shit, even when you’re not touching it almost makes me come,” James said.

“Aww. You poor thing. Well, I’ll think of it for you. Mmm. That’s nice,” Lily said, moving her spare hand between her thighs, finding it harder and harder to resist touching herself.

“James? Would you do something for me?” Lily asked.

“Anything! Right now I would crawl over molten lava if you wanted me to,” James said.

“I was thinking something a little less extreme… like letting me fuck your face?” Lily asked.

“My mouth is at your service,” James said.

Lily grinned and crawled up to his head then crouched over his face, hands gripping the railing he was still handcuffed too. She carefully lowered her sex to his mouth, finding he was very eager to please her.

“Ohhh, damn, that feels good! Oh, yeah. This is definitely what I needed,” Lily said.

Below her James whimpered and she lifted up.

“You OK?” she asked.

“I almost came. Shit,” James said.

“Oh. Well, try not to,” Lily giggled, lowering herself down again.

“You can sit on my face. Or fuck it. I don’t care. I just want to make you come,” James urged.

Lily pushed herself all the way down, gyrating over James’s licking and sucking mouth, being careful not to leave his nose blocked but still having to lift up to let him breathe.

“Fuck, James. I’m gonna come so hard. Mmm,” Lily moaned, feeling close.

She wondered if James might attempt revenge by teasing her back but instead she rode his mouth through to orgasm, clutching the bed’s railing hard as she cried out in ecstasy. She heard James whimper through her euphoric haze but was unable to do anything but let the waves of pleasure roll over her.

Once she finally could relax she lifted up and glanced back while she heavily breathed. It didn’t appear he had came.

“You didn’t come,” she noted.

“Almost. I was close. I had to… think really hard,” James said.

Lily crawled back down to his cock, still drunk on her orgasm. She took his cock in her hand, trying to focus as her hand slid up and down the shaft.

“You’re good and teased aren’t you? How do you want to come? I’ll do whatever you want,” Lily said.

“I don’t know. The idea of… inside you. Ah! It’s exciting but… I think I would just explode as soon as you get it in,” James said.

“That’s a shame. I could really fuck you hard,” Lily suggested, feeling her strength slowly returning.

“You can try but… I don’t think I can hold on,” James said.

Lily shrugged and grabbed the lube, pouring it all over. Leaving the ring on, she positioned herself over him, lifting his cock up to her hole then easing it inside, carefully at first but quicker once she realised how aroused she still was.

Once James was inside Lily wasted no time bouncing, gyrating and rocking her hips as fast as she could, James’s face turning to a grimace.

“Ohhhh shit!” James cried.

“Yes! Come in me!” Lily urged.

James cried out, Lily not slowing as he convulsed beneath her.

“Merlin. Fuck!” James whimpered, Lily’s hands caressing his chest and starting to slow the movements of her hips.

“Very good,” Lily praised, letting him fall out, finding his cock a sticky mess, her inner thighs feeling just as sticky, maybe more.

James was silent and breathing hard. Lily poured more lube on his cock, easing the cock ring off of it, James whimpering a little as she pulled it off but making a sigh of relief once it was over.

“Well, that was fun,” Lily said.

“Yeah,” James said.

Lily went up and undid the handcuffs then removed his blindfold, finding herself quickly greeted by a passionate kiss, tasting herself all over her face.


Thank you to Lily and James for helping demonstrate-


“Really killing the mood,” Lily snapped up at the ceiling.




Lily smirked then went back to kissing James, remembering just how much she loves him.  Once they had finally relaxed and were cuddled next to each other, Lily gestured up at the ceiling.

“You can do your thing now, mate,” Lily said.


Thanks. Tonight you have all witnessed a demonstration of a slightly more advanced form of orgasm denial, though there is much more where that came from!


“Really? There’s… worse?” James asked in wonder, looking equal parts excited and scared.


Oh, yes.


“Wow,” James replied then gave Lily a kiss.


That’s all for this time. Good evening, to all.

Chapter Text

Sirius opened his eyes. He was sitting alone in a small, minimally lit room. In front of him, on the wall above a table are six monitors on which he sees Remus lounging back on a bed. He stands up from the uncomfortable wooden chair in which he’s seated, moving closer to the monitors for a better look.

The room Remus is in isn’t the usual one they’ve found themselves in. It looks very comfortable, fitting for a pure blood wizard family, Sirius thinks. He glances at the room’s only door. He supposes he could try to go through it but he’d rather wait to be told what’s going on.


Sirius. Tonight, I thought we might try something different. I haven’t spoken to the others just yet since you are the subject.


“I’m the subject? I’m not exactly the one on camera,” Sirius said with a scoff, gesturing indignantly at the ceiling.


Yes. You are the subject, that is should you and everyone else be willing to consent.


“I’ll do anything if it pleases Remus. You already know this,” Sirius said without a trace of doubt in his mind.


Nonetheless, I shall explain: I’d like your help in demonstrating cuckolding!


“Uhhh,” Sirius said, struggling to find appropriate words in response.


Cuckolding is when someone is turned on by watching their partner with another person. It is traditionally used to refer to men who like watching their wives with another man but in this case, I’m using it a little more loosely.


“Yawn. I’ve already seen this episode. Remember, Remus and I had a threesome with James while Lily watched,” Sirius replied, feeling proud of himself.


Well, yes. But this is a bit different. Here me out. You see in this case, you’ll be alone in this room. Your only connection to Remus is via those monitors.


“What’s to stop me from just going to join him?” Sirius said, defiantly.


Nothing at all but that wouldn’t be as much fun, would it?


“OK, so big deal. I have to watch Remus and James shag each other’s brains out,” Sirius said, sitting down.


Oh, but it won’t just be James. Your friend Lily will be there too.


“Lily? Oh. Well, I suppose it’s only fair,” Sirius admitted with loathing.


It’s not for me to decide what’s fair…


Sirius considered snarking back at the Godlike narrator but thought better of it.

“Tell me more,” Sirius said.


Well, you’ll be happy to know I’ve already communicated with the others. Talking to them proved to be faster than you.


Sirius realised something funny: he was aroused. His prick was already begging to be released from his trousers.

“We’ve been doing this thing for… Well, I don’t know how long because being dead doesn’t lend itself to the perception of linear time. But I’ll say we’ve been doing this for a bit. You have a knack for presenting scenarios that we already are turned on by,” Sirius observed.




“Anyhow, I consent. Bring it on,” Sirius said, gesturing at the monitors.

Sirius’s eyes fixed on the monitors, finding the one that was facing the bedroom door. James and Lily casually strolled inside the bedroom. Remus, James and Lily were talking and laughing. Sirius wished he could hear what they were saying. Alastor Moody had tried to teach him how to read lips back in the First War but Sirius thought it was boring so he had ignored it. Shame now, he thought.

Remus was holding both of their hands, one of James’s and one of Lily’s. They laughed again and Sirius felt a surge of jealousy. He was a little angry and a lot jealous but he was so turned on he could never look away. He needed to see what happened next.

James kissed Remus while Lily stepped behind him, beginning to undo his belt. Even from the view of the monitor, Sirius could see that Remus was aroused. James and Lily were wasting no time as Lily finished getting his belt off in time for James to unbutton and unzip him. Lily completed the process, yanking his trousers and pants down swiftly, leaving his large erection bouncing.

Lily was whispering things in Remus’s ear while James’s hand rubbed all over Remus’s cock. Remus began to unbutton his shirt, Lily helping him pull it off. Sirius was painfully hard but for now refused to acknowledge it.

Remus was now completely naked and James and Lily were all over him, without the slightest hint of shame on their faces. Lily’s face was buried into the side of Remus’s neck and James’s hands pulled at Remus’s cock as he slowly lowered himself to his knees.




“Huh? What? I’m distracted,” Sirius grunted.


I just thought you might like to know… see that red button on the right side of the table in front of you?


Sirius glanced over and saw it, wondering why he hadn’t noticed it before.

“Yeah?” Sirius said, trying to focus on James’s mouth on Remus’s cock.


If you push that button you will be able to hear everything in the room, but all of the monitors cut off. Push it again to restore the video.


“So, I can choose to watch… or listen. But not both,” Sirius said, glaring at the button.




“Diabolical,” Sirius said, pushing the button, sounds of Remus moaning filling the room, louder than he expected.

The sounds of Remus in pleasure had always been such a weak point. Using them as a weapon against him was cruel, he thought. Despite himself his hand drifted to his groin, rubbing himself through his trousers.

“That’s good,” he heard Remus say and Sirius pushed the button again.

Lily was now on her knees sucking Remus off, James undressing nearby.

“No way Evans can suck you off better than me,” Sirius said, stretching his legs, his trousers feeling too tight.

James was now naked and down on his knees next to Lily, taking his turn to suck Remus off.

“It’s hot in here,” Sirius complained.


That might just be you…


Sirius rolled his eyes. He wanted to touch himself but he refused. He touched the button, sounds of Remus moaning and cock sucking filling the room.

“Fuck, Lily. You’re almost as good as Sirius,” Remus’s voice said, Sirius clenching his fist and slamming it down on the button.

James and Lily stood up, pushing Remus onto the bed. James climbed on while Lily stood at the foot of the bed, touching herself as her husband went back to work on Remus’s cock.

“That’s actually pretty deep, James. Well, done,” Sirius observed, figuring he should be fair.

Lily climbed on the bed. She was saying something that Sirius couldn’t hear. He made to touch the button but at that point, the three of them started switching positions. James was laying back, his head on the mountain of pillows at the head of the bed. Remus knelt next to James’s head and Lily crouched near his cock, her mouth wrapping around his thick cock in an instant. James grabbed Remus’s cock and also started sucking. Remus lifted his hands up, putting them behind his head. His face smiled in the direction of the camera and winked. Fucker, Sirius thought.

Sirius could feel the inside of his pants were damp from his arousal. He just kept telling himself he could resist the urge. For how long, he wasn’t sure. The current visuals weren’t helping. Sirius pushed the button. There wasn’t much to hear. Soft moans and slurping. He pushed it again.

Lily lifted up, turning to talk to the boys while her hand caressed the head of James’s cock. The two men laughed at whatever she had to say, eagerly nodding while Sirius’s heart raced in anticipation of what would happen next. James and Lily traded places, James’s mouth quickly being buried between her thighs while Lily took the work of sucking Remus off.

James’s mouth must’ve felt very good as Lily seemed to find it hard to focus, continually pulling her mouth off to let out what were presumably moans. James was orally talented all around, it seemed. Without thinking Sirius’s hand had drifted to his groin, his fingers grazing over his erection. He grunted and pulled it away. Resist, he told himself.

He pushed the button. Lily was moaning and calling out James’s name.

“Sorry, Remus. James… ahh… really good,” she apologised.

“Don’t worry. I want to see you get off,” Remus said.

Sirius pushed the button again. Lily was lightly stroking Remus’s shaft as her back arched. Sirius watched as her body shuddered. Remus smiled, pleased by what he was seeing. Sirius’s hand started to drift but he caught himself this time.

The three of them were laughing, probably discussing what was next. Sirius pushed the button.

“-fuck me?” Lily said, clearly the end of the question.

“I want to watch Remus fuck you,” James said and Sirius pushed the button.

“Hey. Narrator. If Remus fucks Lily in front of James that’s cuckolding. So it’s like… a cuckold inside a cuckold,” Sirius joked.




“Huh?” Sirius replied.


…Never mind.


Sirius’s focus returned to the screens. James was laying back, Lily sucking him off with her arse stuck up while Remus rubbed his cock, probably covering it with lube. He climbed back on the bed, coming behind Lily. His fingers rubbed between her legs for a moment before positioning his cock at her hole.

Sirius had never really had an opportunity to watch Remus fuck someone else the way he fucked him. Sirius didn’t have a vagina but the basic concept was the same, he supposed. It seemed like Remus was deep inside of her quicker than he usually was with Sirius. Lucky Lils, he thought.

Sirius pushed the button, the sounds of Remus fucking Lily echoing in the room.

“Harder,” Lily said, a command Sirius knew all too well.

Sirius pushed the button.

“Bet she can’t take it as hard as me,” Sirius said, suddenly very aware that his bollocks hurt.


Actually, vaginas are quite strong.


“Just rub it in,” Sirius threw up his hands, laughing though he secretly he wanted to rush into that room and submit his arse for fucking, just to prove it.

Remus’s face looked a little bored, though Sirius wondered if that was just what he wanted to see. The bastard still took a moment to find a camera and wink into it. If nothing else Remus was enjoying torturing Sirius. Typical.

He really was giving it to her. He imagined it was himself instead. Such a lovely thought.

Eventually, they moved on, Remus pulling out, taking Lily’s place, arse in the air while James lubed up his cock. Sirius had a front-row view the last time James had fucked Remus’s arse. James seemed to have a little more swagger this time as he climbed onto the bed, getting behind Remus.

Lily laid next to Remus, just smiling and touching herself, enjoying the show. Sirius wanted so badly to touch himself as James pushed inside of Remus. Sirius hit the button, hearing Remus moan as James stretched him.

“Fuck,” Sirius grunted, wondering if he might die of sexual frustration as he hit the button again.

James actually looked pretty hot as he fucked Remus. The muscles of his back were really something and he did have a nice arse. Sirius wished he could see Remus’s face but it was jammed into a pillow. Lily was touching herself pretty frantically, her face making a lot of contortions.

James’s hands were gripping Remus’s arse as he pounded into him. Sirius hit the button, the sounds of flesh on flesh and Lily’s moans filling the room. Hitting the button again, he saw Lily’s body twisting, clearly climaxing again. James seemed to speed up after that. Sirius hit the button.

“Come in me,” Remus urged James.

“All right,” James said.

Sirius hit the button again and again, switching from audio to video. Finally, he heard James moan, his own cock twitching in response, half afraid that he was about to come without even touching it. He went back to the video feed, watching as the three of them relaxed, slipping into a small cuddle pile of hugs and kisses.

Then the feed stopped.

“Hey, what the hell?” Sirius called up.


The game has ended.


“Goddammit,” Sirius groaned, wondering what the fuck he was going to do about his aching cock and bollocks now.

Seconds later there was a knock at the door.

“Hello?” Sirius said.

“It’s me. Can I come in?” Remus said.

“Of course you can,” Sirius said and the door swung up, Remus standing there naked, his cock fully hard as it bounced with Remus’s movement.

“I thought after that show you might want some relief,” Remus grinned, stroking his cock that Sirius realised was once again covered in lube.

“You’re blood right, I do. Though tell the truth… You just know that no one can make you come as hard as I do,” Sirius said, undoing his trousers as he positioned himself in front of the monitors, hands flat on the table.

“Don’t come until I do,” Remus ordered, refusing to tell Sirius what he wanted to hear.

Sirius liked it when Remus got dominant.

“I’ll do whatever you want,” Sirius said.

“Good,” Remus replied, pulling Sirius’s trousers and pants down, the heat of his cock quickly pressing against his arse.

Sirius went to touch his cock but realised it was so sensitive right now that one touch would probably make him pop.

“Tell me you want it,” Remus said, teasing the tip.

“I want it. I need it. Please,” Sirius begged and Remus pushed the tip inside.

Sirius gasped, Remus working himself inside. Sirius wanted nothing more than to hear Remus come inside of him. He wanted him to call out his name. Needed it.

“How did it feel? Watching us?” Remus asked as he made slow, deep thrusts into Sirius’s arse.

“Frustrating. I was jealous,” Sirius said.

“Oh? Jealous of whom?” Remus asked, making a pleased grunt as he pushed deep.

“Everyone,” Sirius admitted.

“Good,” Remus said, picking up the pace, feeling so strong as his hands gripped Sirius to hold him in place.

“Mmm. You feel so good, Sirius. Tell me you want me to come in you,” Remus demanded.

“Come in me. Please. I can’t hold on,” Sirius urged, his cock feeling tense and on the verge.

Remus thrust hard and faster, his moans and grunts fierce. Finally, he howled in pleasure, pushing deep, Sirius feeling his pulsing within.

“Oh. Shit!” Sirius screeched, tipping over the edge, feeling as his cock twitched repeatedly, spurting come onto the table as pleasure filled him.

“You came? With no hands?” Remus gasped, still recovering.

“Yeah. Shit,” Sirius whimpered, afraid he would never stop coming, his cock seeming to want to make sure not a drop remained inside of him.

He hung over, feeling utterly spent, his cock softening and rubbing uncomfortably against the table in its overly sensitive state. Remus pulled out then popped his arse with a hand.

“Don’t worry, Padfoot. I’ll always be yours,” Remus said.

Sirius inhaled then stood up straight, turning around to face Remus who was waiting ready for a kiss.


Well, all’s well that ends well…


“Wait. Narrator. I have something I want to talk to you about. These things always end and we never get a chance to talk,” Sirius said, pulling up his trousers.


Oh. All right. Go ahead, then.


“You see whenever these meetings end we kind of… stop. It’s weird. Seeing as how we’ve all become such good mates I was wondering if… Maybe you could consider giving us something with more… permanence,” Sirius said.


Oh. Well… I can. It might take me a few chapters to have it ready.


“That would be nice,” Remus said, looking around, possibly for his clothes which still weren’t in the room.

“What do you mean chapters?” Sirius asked, narrowing his eyes.


Don’t worry about that. Yes, I can do what you ask. I can’t bring you back to life but I can provide you with… a sort of existence.


“Cheers, mate,” Sirius beamed.


No problem. Well, this concludes this lesson. Goodnight to everyone!


Chapter Text

Lily opened her eyes. She was standing in front of a small two-storey blue house in what looked like a pleasant, sunny neighbourhood. She could hear music playing from inside the house. It was… familiar. She opened the white, wooden gate and stepped into the yard of the house. A breeze blew through as she climbed creaking steps up to the porch, the long skirt she was wearing fluttering.

On the top step, she paused, looking up and wondering why she hadn’t heard from the reliable narrator yet. She had butterflies in her stomach. She remembered that song. It was Celestina Warbeck, though she could no longer recall the name of it. She had once known someone who loved that song. Lily wet her lips and stepped to the door, hesitating before she knocked.

Where was the guidance of the narrator? This was most unusual. She took a deep breath and knocked, slowly exhaling as she waited. The sound of heels on a wooden floor approached the door. Multiple locks were unlocked as the door pulled open, revealing the smiling, pretty face of Marlene McKinnon, the first woman Lily had ever fallen in love with.

In a flash, Lily remembered it all: she had been sent to recruit Marlene into the Order of the Phoenix. Marlene had finished Hogwarts when Lily was a first year so she hadn’t really known her, other than that she was a brilliant witch. Marlene lived with her mother and her sisters. Lily had grown to care about them. She not only recruited Marlene into the order but she recruited her into her heart as well. With James’s consent, she’d had a brief affair with Marlene.

But the war grew dark and complicated. Marlene and her family were killed. Lily had been devastated. Of all the deaths, hers had been the hardest. And now here she was. The same big brown eyes making Lily feel all right.

“Marlene,” Lily said breathlessly.

“Hi. Come in?” Marlene said, opening the door further to lead Lily inside.

The inside of the house seemed to be an alternate take on the furnishings and wallpaper of the home she had once shared with her sisters.

“So. Umm. God, I don’t know what to say,” Lily said, whirling around to face Marlene who laughed.

“Say whatever you want. We have all the time in the world,” Marlene said, walking over to the old dining table Lily was standing near and sitting down.

Lily sat down as well. The black dress Marlene wore didn’t seem like something she would’ve worn when she was alive. Of course, Lily wouldn’t have worn the dress that she was wearing either but she did sort of like it.

“I would ask how you’ve been but…” Lily said, looking out the window to watch the sun shine through the leaves of a tree.

“Dead,” Marlene said.

“Same. Though… lately, I’ve been kept busy,” Lily said with a smirk.

“I can only imagine. Do you suppose this is heaven? I woke up in a bedroom. There was a letter sitting on top of a chest at the foot of the bed. It said that… everything I wanted would be provided to me with time. The author of the letter claimed to be busy but said I would be visited by someone I loved very soon,” Marlene said.

“How long have you been here?” Lily asked.

“Maybe a week. Everything is so pleasant here that… It’s easy not to care. I go on walks some days. I have been lonely though,” Marlene said, looking in Lily’s direction.

“Oh. Well, I’m sorry I was brought here and not… someone else,” Lily said.

“No. Don’t be. I… I have missed you. I miss my family too. And other friends. But you… were special. Perhaps more special than you ever knew,” Marlene said, tilting her head in Lily’s direction.

Lily laughed.

“I don’t know about that. We didn’t know each other for very long. And I was younger and more foolish. And with James. I could… never give you my full attention,” Lily said.

“Lily, you’ve never learned. A woman like you is impossible not to instantly love. I was always honoured to receive your attention,” Marlene insisted.

“Well…  thank you. So, other than the letter you haven’t heard from… you know,” Lily said, pointing up.

“God? This isn’t heaven, isn’t it?” Marlene said.

“Of a sort,” Lily said.

Marlene chuckled, shaking her head and saying, “This is all very curious. No, I have received no more messages from God. Though he has provided me with something I wanted.”

“Do you sleep?” Lily asked.

“Yes. I do all the normal things. I don’t have any bills to pay or any need for money but this is a reasonable facsimile of being alive,” Marlene said.

Lily wasn’t sure what the game was here. The narrator wasn’t speaking. Perhaps that was the point. She and Marlene didn’t exactly have a clearly defined relationship. Maybe it was up to the two of them to define it.

“Hmm. Well, I’m very glad to see you. When you… I… I, um… It was hard,” Lily said, her eyes feeling hot.

“I’m sorry. I suppose it wasn’t a walk in the park for me either. I had to watch… I was last,” Marlene said, looking down at the hand she had placed on the table.

“James died right before me. Then Voldemort tried to kill Harry. I refused to step out of the way so… he removed me as an obstacle,” Lily said, the pain of that moment still feeling too raw and recent, even if she knew her son was still alive.

“Merlin. I’m… I don’t even know what to say,” Marlene said, reaching up the table, Lily clutching her hand tightly.

“There’s nothing to say. Harry is alive. A grown man now. Married with children of his own. The Dark Lord is no more,” Lily smiled as a tear fell down her cheek.

“I knew that somehow. I don’t know how but… I knew,” Marlene said.

Lily wondered what she should tell Marlene. She didn’t think it would be appropriate to tell her that she, James, Remus and Sirius had been recruited into some sort of sex guide but she also thought she’d be doing her a disservice not to tell her.

“I didn’t mean to bring the mood down. I’m really very happy to see you,” Lily said, wiping at her eyes with her free hand.

“I’m happy to see you too. I thought of you so much before the end. I wanted to see you but… there was never time,” Marlene said.

“It was the same for me. James, Harry… the war,” Lily said.

“Well, let’s make up for lost time. What’s something you wanted to do before. We have all the time in the world,” Marlene said.

“I suppose we do. I recall the sort of things we did. You would read to me on your sofa. Which mostly meant I fell asleep after three pages. We practised charms and potions together. And obviously we…,” Lily started but coughed.

“No need to be shy. We spent more than our fair share of time in the bedroom. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Marlene grinned.

“I’m not embarrassed. I just… I’m being careful,” Lily said, looking down at the table, realising that the hand clutching Marlene’s had relaxed, holding her more softly.

“What’s there to be careful for? We’re dead. What’s the worst that could happen?” Marlene laughed.

Lily shrugged.

“I don’t know. You were just… special. And I never felt worthy. Never felt like I could keep up with you,” Lily said.

“I always thought the same thing about you,” Marlene said.

Lily felt herself blush, looking back out the window.

“Marlene… I… I feel I should be honest about this reality. But I’m not sure how you’ll take it,” Lily said.

“Yes, I am curious. I take it you know more than I do,” Marlene said.

“I do. It all started… strangely. James and I found ourselves in a room. There was… a narrator. I think there was more… an afterlife before this one. I don’t remember. But we were… recruited. Merlin, this is going to sound so stupid,” Lily said, definitely feeling embarrassed now.

“It’s all right, Lily. I won’t judge you,” Marlene said firmly.

“OK… So, we were recruited for… some sort of… sex guide,” Lily said, cringing as she faced Marlene.

“Oh,” Marlene said, blinking. Yeah, it was… It just sort of happened. Remus and Sirius are apart of it too. But last time… Sirius asked the narrator for something more permanent. I think maybe you are apart of that. Some sort of existence that isn’t just about sex,” Lily smiled.

“Bloody hell, Lily. That… explains a lot,” Marlene said then laughed.

“Does it?” Lily said.

“Well, it explains why that chest upstairs was filled with sex toys. Oh, that’s not too unusual, of course. You knew me. I would’ve been disappointed if there weren’t any. And after all… I’ve been here for a week by myself. Not much else to do, if you know what I mean,” Marlene said.

“Oh. Well, that’s interesting. You see… normally the narrator speaks to us. But he… they… The narrator has been silent. For the first time,” Lily said.

“Perhaps the narrator wanted us to make the choice. You’re not my wife. I would’ve said yes in a heartbeat but… Having a choice is nice,” Marlene said.

Lily giggled uncontrollably feeling like an absolute fool, her cheeks red hot.

“You’re turning red. You’re so cute when you’re flustered,” Marlene said, lifting Lily’s hand and kissing it.

“You’re making fun of me,” Lily said, crinkling her nose and pointing at Marlene accusingly.

“I am not. Now, would you like to come upstairs with me and see what I’ve got? You don’t have to say yes. We could go for a walk. There are some board games. There are books. We could just sit and listen to the music,” Marlene said.

“Marlene, you know I would always do anything if it made you smile,” Lily said and stood up.

“If you’re sure… follow me,” Marlene said and guided Lily upstairs by the hand.

In the surprisingly spacious bedroom, Marlene knelt on the rug the chest was on opening it up, revealing a great many wonders.

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin,” Lily said, eyes wide.

“I’ve had a few ideas, actually,” Marlene said and reached inside to pull out what appeared to be a pair of cat ears.

“Cute! But… what is it for?” Lily asked and Marlene set it on the bed then grabbed a few other items, including a tail.

“I’m not entirely sure. But I do remember you used to joke about being a cat. I thought it was cute,” Marlene said, raising an eyebrow.

Lily picked up the tail from the bed, examining it. It was a light grey colour and very long and fluffy. There was what appeared to be an insertable end at the top of it.

“I’m guessing this doesn’t go in my vagina? Too small,” Lily said.

“Yeah, I’d wager it goes up your beautiful bum,” Marlene said, reaching around to lightly pop Lily’s arse through her dress.

“Well, at least it’s not too large,” Lily said, spinning it around in her hands.

“Would you really consider it?” Marlene asked.

Lily was doing more than considering it: she was silently committing herself to it.

“Would it turn you on?” Lily asked.

“It already is,” Marlene smiled.

“Then I’m game,” Lily winked and Marlene stepped forward, leaning down into Lily’s mouth.

Lily dropped the tail on the bed, placing her hands at Marlene’s side as they pressed together, their lips messily moving together. Marlene pulled away, moving her lips to Lily’s ear and whispering, “Will you submit to me? Completely?”

“Always,” Lily said with a smile.

“Mmm. That’s what I like to hear. Undress and get the kitten stuff on,” Marlene said, dropping back down to riffle through the chest, pulling some other things out.

Lily had to search for how to get off this dress. After all, she hadn’t put it on herself in the first place. She eventually located the zipper, pulling it down with some effort. She pulled the sleeves down the slipped the dress off, going over to set it on a chair. She unclasped and removed her bra, then her knickers, also setting them on the chair before coming back over to the bed.

Marlene was almost completely naked, save for her knickers. She had closed the chest and set a variety of things on top of it. Lily picked up the cat ears and placed them on her head, going over to a tall, standing mirror to adjust them. She went back, grabbing the black, leather collar that had a dangling silver charm on it that also served as a lock, placing it around her neck and locking it. It was thankfully not constricting her breathing.

Next, there were a couple of grey stockings that had paw prints on the bottoms of the feet. She laughed at the cuteness of it. The stockings on, she grabbed the gloves, which were very soft and had paw prints on them. She was thankful that they were fingerless, so she wouldn’t be totally useless for this.

This left the tail. Lily had never really experienced much with sticking things in her arse. Maybe a finger here or there but it simply hadn’t interested her. She picked the tail up and the bottle of lube Marlene had set down thinking that if the boys could do it, she could too.

She opened the bottle of lube and poured it on the metal end of the tail, setting the bottle down then rubbing the lube all over. She then reached behind herself with the tail in hand. She found her arsehole, pressing the toy against it. It felt cold and wet as she pushed, grunting as it slid inside, only causing minor, brief discomfort. And then it was in. Lily stepped over to the mirror, shaking her bum so that the tail bounced back and forth.

“Well, look at you,” Marlene said, coming over and placing her hands on Lily’s waist and she looked her up and down.

“Meow,” Lily said, playfully pawing in her direction.

“Good kitty. Merlin, I don’t know where to start with you,” Marlene said, her hands curving around Lily’s bottom and squeezing.

“Start wherever you want. Meow,” Lily said, licking Marlene’s nose, making them both laugh.

“I think I need to spank that nice, round arse of yours. Go kneel on the bed,” Marlene said and Lily climbed up, sticking her arse out above the chest.

“Meow,” Lily said, shaking her bum.

She looked back and saw that Marlene had picked up the cane with the leather pad at one hand. Lily would never be into this with James but she really would do almost anything Marlene asked her to do. Perhaps it was her weak spot. Perhaps it was her own strength that gave her the confidence to submit. Either way, when Marlene popped her arse Lily bit her bottom lip and moaned, the burn feeling glorious.

Marlene did it again.

“Ohh. I mean… meow!” Lily moaned with a little chuckle.

“Good kitty,” Marlene said, popping her again.

Lily closed her eyes, losing herself in the moment, nothing existing but her, Marlene and the whip. She was breathing hard when Marlene stopped, Lily feeling Marlene’s fingers exploring between her thighs.

“Mmm. Kitty is good and wet,” Marlene said, Lily moaning as Marlene squeezed her clit lightly between two fingers.

Marlene was always highly skilled with her hands, graceful and precise. Just the way she used her wand was psychologically arousing. The way her fingers moved and her wrist twisted. The level of control she possessed was very appealing.

“Hmm. I don’t think you’re ready for me yet. Kitty, are you hungry?” Marlene asked and sauntered around to the side of the bed, climbing up.

“Yes, meow,” Lily said, licking her lips so that Marlene could see.

Marlene spread her legs, the suggestion clear. Lily crawled up, pretending to lick her paws, slowly arriving before Marlene. Lily gripped Marlene’s knickers and pulled them down, thinking a real cat would never be able to manage that. After pulling them off her legs, Lily moved her face down, smiling up at Marlene. Her pale hands gripped Marlene’s light-brown thighs, Lily looking forward to pleasing her. She curved her tongue then slowly licked up, Marlene moaning as her tongue rolled over her clit.

Lily repeated the motion, Marlene making soft, tense sounds above her. Lily attempted to make little cat noises as she quickened her pace but knew they were far from perfect. The only thing that mattered was pleasing Marlene. Lily was happy to find that eating pussy was a bit like riding a bike, or riding a broom as wizards would say. She still knew how to do it immediately after all this time.

“Good kitty. Mmm. Good kitty,” Marlene called out, sounding desperate.

Lily stopped licking to suck on a couple of fingers, sliding them inside Marlene’s very wet pussy before getting back to licking.

“Oh! Yes!” Marlene called out as Lily licked and fingered her.

Lily could feel Marlene tightening around her fingers. She wasn’t far.

“I’m almost there. Make me come, kitty. Please,” Marlene begged.

Lily stayed the course, barely able to move her fingers anymore. She could feel Marlene’s entire body tense up seconds more she cried out. Her muscles clamped down on Lily’s fingers as she continued to lap at her clit through her orgasm. It sounded like Marlene was trying to speak but all that carried out from her lips were hard breaths, gasps and whimpering moans. Lily felt pride in a job well done.

Eventually, Marlene pushed Lily away, then gave her a come-hither gesture with a finger, Lily moving up Marlene’s body, Marlene quickly finding her mouth as Lily fell on top of her, their naked bodies pressing together tightly. Lily was hot, wet and aching below wondering if it would soon be her ton to be pleased. Marlene pulled her face back, smiling at Lily, her hands moving up and down her back.

“I want to fuck you now. I found a nice toy that buzzes. It’ll feel good for us both,” Marlene said.

“OK,” Lily said as Marlene slid out from under her, climbing off the bed and walking around to the chest.

Marlene placed a harness around her waist then attached a bright red dildo to it. As promised Lily heard a loud buzzing start to emanate from it. Marlene dripped lube onto the toy, rubbing it in. Lily reached down, massaging her own clit as she watched Marlene stroking the buzzing toy.

Marlene came around, climbing up on the bed. Lily got on her knees, sticking her arse out, shaking the tail at Marlene who giggled. Lily inhaled as Marlene placed a hand on her arse. She felt the toy slid between her thighs, her clit instantly feeling the vibrations.

“Ohhh,” Lily moaned, surprised by the intensity as the toy rubbed against her.

“Feels good doesn’t, kitty,” Marlene said.

“Me-ow,” Lily moaned.

Marlene pulled back, angling the toy at her hole then gently pushed in a little.

“Ah!” Lily called out as the toy stretched her.

Marlene slowly eased it in, pulling in and out, not taking long until she was deep inside, the vibrations feeling different but good. Marlene popped Lily’s arse with a hand, an unexpected but welcome gesture.

Marlene thrusts quickly sped up. Lily reached back to touch her clit, while Marlene fucked her, occasionally slapping her arse. This was heaven, Lily thought. Perhaps literally and figuratively, she realised.

“Yeah. You always could take a good pounding,” Marlene said, popping her arse again.

Lily couldn’t speak or make fake cat sounds anymore. She could only gasp and moan. Marlene finally stopped and said, “Roll over. I want to look in your eyes when you come.”

Lily did as she asked, spreading her legs open before her. Marlene put more lube on the toy then moved between her legs, pushing back inside of her, the vibrations feeling much better from this angle. Marlene held there, the toy all the way inside, Lily holding as still as she could, transfixed by the vibrations.

“Fuck me,” Lily almost begged and Marlene obliged, leaning down and kissing her as her hips thrust hard.

Lily’s stocking covered feet lifted up around Marlene’s back, urging her closer. Marlene’s mouth moved to Lily’s neck, sucking hard as she slammed the toy into her. Lily was on the very edge, her face pressed into Marlene’s black hair, kissing the side of her head right as she peaked. Marlene must’ve felt the change and she lifted up, looking down into Lily’s eyes as her mouth fell open.

“Fuck!” Lily cried out, her eyes watering it felt so good as she orgasmed.

Marlene smiled, kissing Lily’s cheek as Lily’s fingers dug into her back.

“Unh. Marlene,” Lily whimpered, kissing Marlene’s cheek in return.

Marlene slowed her thrusts, their mouths meeting, kissing soft and deep, Lily feeling quite numb below, grateful when Marlene pulled out. Marlene slid over, dropping next to her as they both breathed hard.

“Well… That… was fun,” Lily said, still catching her breath.

“You were a good kitty,” Marlene said, winking.

“Thanks. I felt a little silly but… it was fun,” Lily said.

“So, now what to do we do,” Marlene said.

“Normally the narrator would wrap things up but I guess they are busy. I guess we can do whatever we want now,” Lily said, wrapping an arm behind Marlene’s shoulders.

“How about we clean up and then I’ll read to you,” Marlene said with a hopeful smile.

“Sounds like a plan,” Lily replied and Marlene hopped up, Lily silently thanking the narrator for this gift.

Chapter Text

Ahem. Hello everyone and welcome back.


James opened his eyes, sunlight filling them. He looked around, finding himself in an ordinary looking town square. In seconds he was joined by Lily, Remus and Sirius who apparently had also just woken up in the town.

“Is this the thing I asked about?” Sirius said.


Indeed it is, my friends.


“We’re friends now? That’s new,” James said, all of them chuckling.


Umm… Well, anyhow, this is the new reality I have created for you. Lily has already had a taste of it.


“That’s one way of phrasing it,” Lily said, looking mischievous.

“Exactly how real is this place?” Sirius asked.


Medium real?


“Medium real? How can something be medium real?” Remus asked.


Reality is subjective. This isn’t like being alive but it’s not like being dead. You will all be able to permanently exist here.


“So no more… blank spaces. We’ll always be conscious,” James said.


Absolutely. You can make friends, get jobs. Explore. This world is somewhat dynamic. Rather than you needing to continually request additions the world will subtly adjust itself to suit your needs.


“So, if we decide it’d be cool to go swim in the ocean or visit a city or some landmark… we could do it?” Sirius asked.


Yes. Not immediately. But this world will shape itself to suit your collective wants and needs.


“Are we the only ones here?” Remus asked.

“Marlene is here,” Lily said.


Yes, there are others you have known who are no longer among the living here. I’ll leave them to be discovered. Don’t worry, there’s no one you would find unpleasant lurking about.


“Uh. What about the sex stuff?” Lily asked.

“Yeah, how does that work now?” Sirius added.


It works however you want. I’m putting the power in your hands. Your actions are being recorded for the education of others.


“Who are those others exactly?” Remus asked.


That is… a very complicated question for another day. But as I was saying, I have put the power in your hands. Or your minds, rather. With a simple thought, you can summon me and I will begin recording. I can suggest topics and supply whatever you need. I will say that I have observed you all to be intensely creative.


“I like the sound of all that,” Lily said, squeezing James from the side.

“Yeah. Imagine we’re just having a stroll and next thing you know, I’ve summoned the narrator to record Remus sucking me off on a park bench,” Sirius said.


Advanced Public Sex. There’s the ticket.


“I actually have something I’ve been thinking about,” Lily said, leaning up to whisper in James’s ear.

Hearing what she said James laughed and said, “Yeah, I could be down for that.

In an instant, they disappeared from the town square, now finding themselves in a house that reminded James very much of their home from Godric’s Hollow. They were in a bedroom that seemed like their old bedroom but larger. He was now very naked, Lily was too save for the purple dildo strapped to her waist. She stood proudly, hands on her hips and a smile on her face.

“Damn. That was smooth,” James said.


Sorry. I could’ve warned you. Anyhow, James and Lily are now about to demonstrate pegging. Pegging is a form of anal sex, traditionally performed by someone wearing a strap-on toy. The term didn’t exist until years after James and Lily died but that’s not important today.


“What is important today is that I’m going to fuck my husband’s arse,” Lily said.

“I see you want to challenge me. I’ve only had Sirius’s cock in my arse and that’s bigger than he is,” James said, though it was at least smaller than his own cock.

“I can make it smaller. I guess I was thinking what I was comfortable with,” Lily said.


This brings up a wonderful point. The vagina and anus are different orifices. Vaginas have much greater elasticity than anuses. They are also self-lubricating which anuses are not. This means you are more likely to injure an anus than a vagina if you are not careful, especially if you are not experienced.


“Actually, I think I can handle some of this,” Lily said, pulling a bottle of lube from a drawer.


Go right ahead.


“So, listeners… um… readers? Watchers. Watchers, I’m about to put a lot of lube on this toy. Why? Because I love my husband and I want his arse to feel good, not hurt,” Lily said.

“Generous of you, love,” James said, bent over the end of the bed with his arse sticking out.

“More than that, I’m going to put some on my fingers. I know before I take a girthy cock I like getting fingered as a warm-up. It’s like doing stretches before playing Quidditch or Cricket,” Lily said.

“I still don’t understand Cricket,” James said then went, “Oof,” as he felt a cold, wet finger slip inside his bum.

“Yeah. There we go. How’s that, James?” Lily asked, her finger sliding in and out of his arse.

“It’s fine. Certainly making me hard,” James said, feeling his cock swell beneath him, the fabric of bedsheets feeling soft.

“Once you’re confident they are doing OK, you can add a second finger to be safe,” Lily said, James feeling his arse being stretched more.

“That’s definitely tight. But not bad. Mmm, you’re really hitting the spot,” James said.


That’s the prostate!


“I know what it is. A small knot just a few inches in,” Lily said.

“Yeah, it feels nice. Like not as good as touching my cock but still nice. Almost relaxing,” James said.

“Relaxing? I don’t want you to feel relaxed. I want you to feel tense and randy. I want you to be ready for a very thorough shagging,” Lily said.

“Oh, don’t worry. I am,” James said and wiggled his bottom at her.

“James Potter, what would I ever do without your beautiful arse?” Lily asked.

“I dare not speculate,” James said, his cock now urgently erect as he tried to grind against the bed for friction.

“Do you think you’re ready for the toy?” Lily asked.

“Yeah, I think I’m good,” James said.

Lily’s fingers slipped out and James felt her hands on his lower back. There was pressure against his arsehole and he felt himself be stretched further.

“It’s still important to go slow. Listen to your partner. If something hurts you need to either add more lube, go slower or go back to warming up,” Lily said.

“It’s tight but I think we’re good here. Just ready for you to be fucking me,” James said.

“I’m trying to demonstrate good behaviour, James. You and your hungry bottom, I swear,” Lily said, lightly popping his right arse cheek.

“Only hungry for you,” James said.

Lily did speed up. Before with Sirius and Remus, James had felt distracted. He had also been fucking Remus at the time. Now, half lying on the bed with Lily giving it to him good he was solely focused on the sensations in his arse.

“Merlin, Lils. I can’t believe I’ve been missing out,” James said, making Lily giggle.

“In fairness, there was a war. We were distracted,” Lily said.

“Yet another reason Voldemort was a complete bastard,” James said, both of them laughing.

“Let’s change positions,” Lily said, pulling out.

“How do you want me?” James asked.

“On your back,” Lily said.

James hopped on the bed and positioned himself so that his head resisted on the mountain of pillows at the head. Lily pulled herself onto the bed then got between his legs. She lifted him up and pushed back inside, James thrilled to get to watch her fuck him. Lily lifted his legs up, thrusting hard and fast. James also realised this meant he could touch his cock, reaching down to stroke like mad.

“You better not come yet,” Lily said.

“What do I have to do to earn an orgasm?” James asked, knowing that if he wasn’t careful he definitely would come sooner than desired.

“Hmm, I don’t know. I guess I’ll just have to think about it for a while longer,” Lily said, winking.

“You’re devious. A fiend,” James said, still stroking himself.

“A devious fiend is pounding your arse. Wish you could feel how wet I am right now,” Lily said.

“Fuck, don’t make me think about it or I really will come,” James said.

“Oh? I shouldn’t tell you how much it aches. How warm and waiting for you it is? You could practically drown in there right now,” Lily said.

“Stop. I won’t be able to hold on,” James said.

“You better not come!” Lily said.

James pulled his hand off but in his mind, he was entranced by the prospect of getting his hands, mouth, and cock between Lily’s legs. He wanted to fuck her as hard as she was fucking him.

“Do you like it when I fuck you this hard?” James said, thinking if it felt this good for him it must be incredible for her.

“Yes, only my vagina is far more sensitive and you’ve got a nice, fat cock,” Lily said, inspiring James to start touching himself again.

“I can’t stop… thinking about it,” James said, closing his eyes and imagining her in his place.

“Don’t come. You better not come,” Lily warned.

“I won’t. I want to. But I won’t,” James said.

“Let’s change positions again,” Lily said and pulled out.

“Where do you want me?” James asked as Lily turned over on her back.

“I want to see you ride the toy,” Lily said.

“Fair enough,” James said and got into position, leaning forward so that it was easy to angle the toy in.

With a little effort, James slid all the way down, beginning to slowly ride her. Lily reached between his legs, fondling his cock as it bounced with his small thrusts. She eventually evolved to actually stroking it, using both hands for maximum stimulation.

“Lily, if you keep doing that… I’m not going to be able to… hold on,” James groaned.

“Are you OK?” Lily asked, cupping his bollocks in one of her hands.

“I’m fine. I just need to come,” James said, thinking that were it not for his throbbing cock he could ride the toy like this all day.

“OK. Position change again. Get the toy off me then fuck me. I want you to come inside me,” Lily said.

James lifted off the toy then moved quickly to pull the harness off. James pulled her legs apart as she handed him the lube. His cock lubed up, he went to push himself inside of her, certain he would come as soon as he was in. He glided in deep with almost no effort, finding she hadn’t be exaggerating her state of arousal.

“Oh!” she moaned and started to stroke her clit as he thrust hard.

He lifted her legs up, wanting to fuck her just like she had fucked him earlier. She was touching herself even more frantically than he had done earlier. Her head arched backwards, her mouth hanging open as heavy breaths escaped her lips. If he could just hang on long enough for her to come James would really feel like he had won. He thrust harder and harder, seeing her body making the gyrations that always foretold her climax. She tightened around him and he knew it was time.

“Fuck. Come in me, James. I’m coming,” Lily called out and James released the mental blocks that had been holding him together, pleasure instantly burning him from the inside.

“Merlin’s bollocks,” James groaned, straining as he emptied himself completely.

Lily moaned and bit her lip, everything he needed to know about her pleasure etched on her face. Once he was done coming James felt frozen. He leaned down, giving Lily a slow kiss as they both breathed hard. He finally went soft and fell beside her.

“So, um. Yeah. That’s how you… do that. Except the last bit. The last bit is optional but definitely loads of fun,” Lily said to whoever.

“Yeah. Arsefucking is highly recommended,” Lily said, sounding sleepy now.

James kissed her cheek.

“Oh. What happened to Remus and Sirius?” James asked.

“Oh. We just left them in the town square,” Lily said and laughed.


They are just fine. They have moved into their new home. I’m sure we’ll catch up with them next time.


“When you say next time… what do you mean?” James asked.


I promise all will be revealed with time. Probably.


“You know what, right now I don’t even care,” James said, kissing Lily’s neck.

“You keep kissing me like that, James, I’m going to get randy again and we’ll have to fuck all over again,” Lily said.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” James replied, chuckling as they started to make out.


Well, that’s where we’ll leave things this time. Until next time, as we always say, listen to your partner and never forget lube.


“We have never said that,” James said, still in the middle of snogging Lily.


We do now. Goodnight.