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Highway Mistletoes

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Aaaaaaand… perfect! All done with Christmas decorating. I can’t wait for Amber to get back and see how adorable I made the RV. It was hard enough trying to convince her to spend a few hours at a mall she's never been to. She didn't seem too into it, which is weird. She seems like a mall person. Like a really cool girl that'd know where to get cool clothes. Then takes her girlfriend into the dressing room and people think it's normal, but secretly it's really gay. I... might just be projecting a lot of fantasies on her.

But that's okay! Cause she's my girlfriend. We're each other's family now, and it's our first Christmas together. I don't really know if she's a grinch or not, or if she had any special traditions with her grandpa, but we can make new ones together at the very least. And even if she is a grinch, I can make her heart grow and all that stuff and it'll be super romantic. If only motor homes had fireplaces, it'd be perfect.

She should be back soon, I'm an experienced enough decorater to figure out how long it'll take me. Back home the holiday was always more about decorating than presents anyway.

...I forgot to get her a present. I sent her somewhere for basically a whole day and forgot to get her a present. How am I supposed to do it all sneakily now?

"Mare…" I jump a bit when her voice brings me back to reality.

I turn to see her mouth wide open. I can't tell if it's a good open or bad open.

"Merry Christmas, Amber!" I smile and gesture towards our home, fully transformed into a reindeer. Well, not literally, I just gave it some tree branches on top for antlers, hung some green fuzzy stuff from the windows, and… Oh! She doesn't even know the best part about the outside yet.

"Come here, quick." I grab her hand and drag her to the front. She's not saying anything negative yet, and she's letting me drag her, so I probably did good. We get far enough ahead to see the red nose I taped to the front.

"Mare?" Amber asks.


"Is that a basketball? Did you duct tape a basketball to the motorhome?" Amber asks again. I worry for a second I might have messed up again before I see her start to smile.

"Yeah, that's his nose! I dressed him up as a reindeer!" I say proudly, but Amber busts out in laughter.

"It's cute, but why?" She called it cute, I'm safe.

"I figured out that RV can be initials for Rudolph Vixen." I answer, just for extra sugar on top.

"No, why in general." Amber's definitely not mad, but her tone's going back to normal.

"Cause it's Christmas, and I like decorating." I smile back at her.

"It's not even December yet." She walks over, investigating it a bit more. "You know I can't drive with this stuff on it, right?"

Oh, right. I try to smile, but my voice probably has some disappointment in it. "Yeah, I was worried about that."

"The antlers might just break off on road signs or tunnels. The basket-" She pauses. "...nose, will probably come off and get under the vehicle or something."

"Mmm…" Is all I can reply with. I wasn't prepared for practical scrooge reasons. But she's buying into the Christmas spirit, so I can at least be happy about that.

"It's cute though." Amber gives me a reassuring smile. "It makes sense you'd be as into this as you are. Maybe we can find another way to decorate?"

"Well, you haven't even seen the inside yet!" I try to get her excited but her face drops into mild concern. "...Amber?"

"Sorry, I'm just trying to think of what the odds are that you stuffed a giant christmas tree in here." I can't tell if she's giving me too much or too little credit. Probably a bit of both. Does that mean just enough credit?

"I didn't do anything crazy, I promise." I grab her hand and walk over to the entrance.

"Ta-da!" I present her with the ultimate decoration. The tiniest plastic christmas tree I could find, sitting on the counter next to the coffee pot.

I can hear her exhale with relief. Does she really thing I'd try and put a real tree in here? I mean, I thought about it for a second, but still.

"Is that all? You went all out on the exterior for nothing on the interior?" Amber sounds surprisingly disappointed for how worried she was. Maybe I should have gone with the tree idea.

"Well, I was hoping to find some Christmas music." I explain. "But it's really hard to find cassette tapes with that kinda stuff on it."

"We could just listen to literally any radio station." She answers.

"This thing has a radio?" I've never heard it before.

"Yeah, I just don't listen to it." That explains a lot, actually.

"Well, anyway." I grab her hand and drag her to the back of the RV. "There's one more decoration in the bedroom." She doesn't say anything in response, but letting herself follow me. She does seem pretty happy with the next surprise, though. Red stockings with our names on it hanging off of cabinets.

"That's really nice, babe." She smiles and leans against me. Okay, now final step in the perfect plan.

"Uh-oh." I whisper.

"What?" Amber pulls back and looks at me with a bit of worry. "Something wrong?"

"Look at the ceiling." I point at the mistletoe I strategically hung for this exact moment. "You know what that means, we have t-"

I'm cut off by Amber pressing her lips against mine. I'm really glad she likes this part of the decorations most. I've never had a mistletoe kiss before, but it's just as amazing as I expected it to be. She starts to try and do tongue things after a few kisses, but pulls back pretty quickly.

"Merry Christmas, dork." She holds me close for a second before pulling back. "Why is your breath so minty?"

"I ate ten candy canes." I didn't think about that part, Amber picks up on tastes a lot more than I do.

"Cute, but... " She pauses. "Warn me next time."

"Is it that bad?" I tilt my head as I ask her.

"Not bad, just… intense." She starts to head back outside. "Can you help me get rid of the antlers?"

Aw. "Sure." I figured this might happen, but I'll take my smaller holiday victories and be happy. "Does it have to be right now? Do we have to go anywhere?"

"I have a surprise for you too, you know." My frown goes away as soon as she says this.

"What is it?" I chase after her. "Tell me, tell me, tell me!"

She ruffles my hair before hopping outside and telling me. "I spent most of the day asking around about Christmas lights. I figured you'd probably want to see some."

I squeal with excitement, more happy to take down decorations than I ever have been in my life. "Can we listen to the radio and hear seasonal stuff?"

"No." She gives me a flat response.

"But, babe…" I pout at her. "It's Christmas."

She starts to say something, but smiles instead. "You're right." I yay again in response. "But only when we're looking at lights, okay?"

"Deal." That sounds like a good first tradition.