Just like every other morning, the first thing Madara does is check the notifications on his phone—a text message from the telephone company, an email from a lecturer, a twitter notification about somebody following him, and lastly, he needs to scroll down to see it, an Instagram notification saying 'hashiramasenju posted for the first time in a while.' Madara considers it while he taps on the email. Maybe one of his classes will be cancelled today? As he reads—yes, his first class is cancelled—he wonders what Hashirama's new photo is. Food? A flower? Something cute he saw on the street? Something similar to the things he usually posts, Madara is sure. Once done with the email, he slides down the notification bar and finally opens the Instagram post.
For a moment Madara's mind is blank as he stares at Hashirama's face on the screen. It's a selfie, he never posts selfies, taken from above so that it can include Hashirama's naked, flawless, abs.
"What the fuck?" Madara demands from the empty room. When did he get those? He doesn't really think about it, isn't even really looking, when he dials Izuna's number to complain. It takes a while for the call to connect but that doesn't deter Madara at all. If anything, it lets him think of even more things that he wants to yell about. Madara hears the other line pick up and immediately starts speaking.
"Hashirama posted a selfie," he opens. "A. Fucking. Selfie! Since when does Hashirama post selfies?! And this kind of selfie? Have you seen it? You have to see it!" while talking, Madara considers shutting up for a second so he can remove the phone from his ear and share the post to Izuna's messenger. He decides he can do that later; it's more important to give his opinion first, "It's amazing! The best thing I've seen all week! He's so hot! Why is he so hot? When did he get great rock-hard abs? And why did he decide to show them off on social media?!"
He pauses briefly to inhale and keeps going, "Speaking of rock-hard things, what am I supposed to do with this now?! Now that I know what he looks like under his clothes, what am I supposed to do? Does he think I'll just look at the photo and think 'Oh, this is an aesthetically pleasing photo – the composition is nice' and move on with my day?! Because, no, I mean, yes, it is aesthetically pleasing and the composition is nice, but that's not the point! The point is, that I'm now going to jerk off to this photo of him and later, when I see Hashirama, I won't be able to look him in the eye."
For a moment Madara is quiet. Then, sounding dejected, he asks, "How could I fuck myself over this way? How could I fall in love with him?"
A complete silence follows.
Just as Madara is about to ask if Izuna is still there (maybe the comment about jerking off was too much but, c'mon, they've talked about that, and more, before, so what's the problem?), he hears Hashirama speak over the phone, "Good morning, Madara."
"...Hashirama?" Madara whispers dumbly. Against all odds, he hopes Hashirama didn't hear any of his rant. He looks at his screen – somehow he'd mistakenly dialed Hashirama instead of Izuna. He looks at his call history, he'd dialed from there, and he sees them – one following the other. He must have missclicked, accidentally tapped on Hashirama's contact and not Izuna's. He feels like crying, any excitement he felt from seeing the photo is gone and has been replaced by fear and dread.
The phone's speaker lets out a series of sounds, too low to discern when not directly against one's ear, and Madara remembers the call is still in progress. He quickly hangs up, switches his screen off, leaves the phone on the floor, and curls up in his bed. His friendship with Hashirama is over. The one thing Madara never wanted to happen has happened – Hashirama now knew how Madara thought of him.
Madara decides he'll stay home for the day and not deal with the world. He picks up his phone once again to send emails to his lecturers to tell them he's sick. It's not a complete lie – he's pathetically lovesick with his best friend. And he's now lost that friend. All because he couldn't spare one second to look at who he was dialing. He wants to cry but stops himself, tells himself it's better this way. It would be easier to get over his feelings if he doesn't constantly see the guy. Bullshit, a voice in the back of his mind hisses but Madara ignores it.
Eventually, after what feels like an eternity, but according to his phone is only 23 minutes, Madara gets out of bed and, this time carefully, dials Izuna. He puts the call on speaker and while making breakfast, oatmeal with soy milk and honey, he tells his brother what happened. Izuna just laughs at him and tells him to talk to Hashirama.
"He's nice, open-minded, understanding. It'll be fine," the words fall on deaf ears, though; Madara doesn't want to humiliate himself further. Even if Hashirama is okay with Madara feeling more than platonic friendship for him, keeping their relationship as it was before the horrors of the morning would be pitiful.
Sighing, Madara brings the steaming bowl to the table and starts eating. The first spoonful burns his mouth and he tries his best not to spit it out; Izuna asks him if he's alright. Madara goes to reply but ends up choking back a sob.
"Fuck!" he whispers as he wraps his arms around himself and tries to calm his breathing.
Izuna calls out to him from the phone but Madara ignores him; for a long time he sits there in what-would-be-complete silence, if not for Izuna's worried comments coming from the speaker every once in a while.
Madara is forcefully brought back to reality by the sound of the doorbell ringing. In a blank state of mind he stands up and goes to answer it. Because he doesn't have a peephole, he's forced to open the door without checking who it is. It comes as a complete surprise when he sees Hashirama standing across from him.
"Wha—," Madara wants to ask what's happening but is cut off when Hashirama embraces him.
"What—," he tries again but is interrupted yet again – this time by Hashirama's words.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Hashirama says and steps back; he drops the embrace but keeps holding onto Madara's shoulders. The expression on his face is a strange mix of sadness and excitement; it throws Madara off and he doesn't reply.
They stand in silence, staring at each other, while the wind blows. It's a cold late autumn morning, the sky is overcast and if Madara had looked at the weather app earlier, he would have known that rain was to be expected during the current hours. It starts pouring in the span of a few seconds and Madara watches as Hashirama scrambles to hide under the awning to not get drenched. After a second of standing there uselessly, Madara moves to the side, gesturing for Hashirama to come in. It's just when he enters and bends down to take his shoes off that Madara finally speaks up, "Are you implying you want to talk about it?"
"Yes," Hashirama retorts without missing a beat. He whirls around as he stands up and fixes Madara in his gaze. Hashirama has always liked Madara's face – the high cheekbones, the plump lips, the defined jaw and chin, but somehow, his favourite part are the eyes, no matter the fact they often make Madara seem angry and tired. They keep standing in silence, the door still open and the wind blowing, Madara not looking at Hashirama and Hashirama feeling nervous. He makes the mistake of looking down – Madara is wearing only sweatpants – and gets an eyeful of Madara's, apparently, gloriously toned six pack. He whines about my body, when he looks like that?
"What's there to talk about?" Madara's words pull Hashirama back to the present.
"You said..." Hashirama moves closer, lifts Madara's chin so he can look into his eyes, "...that you love me."
Their gazes finally lock onto one another and Hashirama's heart almost breaks when he sees Madara's forced poker face.
"I did say that," Madara tries to backtrack, altough he knows it's useless. He sees Hashirama's distressed face and, dropping his head, he admits, "I do... I'm sorry."
"Look at me!" Hashirama demands and Madara obeys. "Why are you apologizing?"
"...Because I screwed our friendship up and now nothing will be the same and I'll lose you," the explanation comes as a slap to Hashirama's face.
"What are you talking about?" he presses. When Madara doesn't answer Hashirama continues, "I share your feelings, I told you already! We've known each other since we were children, we've done so much together, we share the same ideals, worldviews... the same dream," Hashirama catches himself before he strays too far and gets back to the point, "I think we've had enough time to develop feelings for each other."
The moment Hashirama closes his mouth Madara yells in his face, "What did you just say?! You 'share my feelings'?! And 'you told me already'? Don't fuck with me!" Madara pushes Hashirama back and storms off to the kitchen. He doesn't notice his phone screen is still lit up with the ongoing call to Izuna.
Hashirama joins him in the room after a second. "I said it on the phone before. Didn't you hear me? I thought I'd shocked you into hanging up, so I rushed over here," he says and Madara looks at him dumbfounded.
"...No, I didn't hear you! I was busy mourning my life!" Madara almost yells again; he feels himself trembling and wills himself to stand still, calm. "After I realized I was talking to you I stopped listening."
Madara sighs, closing his eyes for a second. He's surprised when he feels Hashirama embrace him and murmur, "I wanted to tell you that for so long but I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same... so I decided to endure on my own."
Madara tentatively wraps his arms around Hashirama's waist. He wonders if Hashirama can feel how fast his heart is beating. "I was so happy when I heard you say that today!" Hashirama's voice sounds even softer and somehow wetter and Madara pulls back to look at him. He holds Hashirama's smiling face in his hands and watches as two trails of tears slowly slide down Hashirama's cheeks.
Not knowing what to say but feeling the need to speak, Madara says, "It worked out a lot better than I expected."
Through tears Hashirama snorts and kisses Madara. It's not the best kiss either of them has ever had—Madara feels an oncoming headache and is too emotionally drained to respond well; Hashirama is still crying as he attempts to move his lips against Madara's in a pleasurable way.
They part after a few seconds, both having come to the conclusion that despite everything that was the most enjoyable kiss they'd ever experienced. Madara inhales, intending to speak, but Izuna's shouts coming from his phone on the table cuts him off, "Please, don't have sex while you're still on the phone with me!"
Unlike Hashirama, Madara isn't startled and simply turns toward the phone—at last remembering he never ended the conversation with his brother, "You can just hang up, you know."
"Where's the fun in that?" Izuna jokes and Hashirama is certain he can hear his smile. "I'm not leaving you until you tell me you're okay," Izuna says, now without even a hint of jester in his voice.
"I'm fine, Izuna. Don't worry," Madara doesn't give his brother any time to reply before he ends the call. Sighing, he sits down; Hashirama mirrors him at the other side of the table.
"Where were we?" Madara says, a hint of a smile on his lips.
"Kissing," Hashirama replies and immediately bolts upright again to walk over to Madara. Standing in front of him, Hashirama puts his hand on Madara's neck and bends down.
Before their lips meet again Hashirama speaks, "Is this alright?"
Madara shuts him up by planting his mouth directly on top of his. He hopes it's an appropriate answer.
A couple of hours after that Madara receives a text message from Izuna. It's a simple "k?" but it's meaning is clear. Madara sends back, "k ♥♥".
Later, when Madara and Hashirama are cuddling on the sofa in front of the TV, Madara's phone jingles with another notification. It's a tweet he's been tagged in. Madara opens it and sees it's a reply to a long thread.
A long thread started by Izuna 7 minutes ago, which tells the funny story of how a guy I know got a boyfriend. Hikaku has tagged Madara in a reply with the words, "is this about u?" It has one like; Madara taps to open the tweet so he can look at the details. Tapping on the likes shows that the like was from Izuna.
"Confirmation enough," Madara mutters and Hashirama asks him what he's talking about. Madara hands him the phone and settles back into the comfort of the pillows along the backrest.
A moment later and Hashirama is laughing, "Can I like them?" he asks.
"Do it from your own damn phone!"
Hashirama shuts the screen off and leaves the device on the side. "Later," he promises, laying against Madara's side. He places a kiss at the end of Madara's jaw and feels him relax.
#storytime: the funny story of how a guy I know got a boyfriend 2:47 PM – Oct 19, 2017 1 14
keep in mind this is a guy who can and will kick your ass if you give him a reason. it was fun to see him so mushy 2:47 PM – Oct 19, 2017 1 11
so this morning he got a notification that the (now, but not then) boyfriend posted a selfie of his face+gr8 abs 2:48 PM – Oct 19, 2017 1 12
so this guy, this pathetically gay guy, gets excited and decides he wants to tell me. he then MAKES AN ATTEMPT to call me 2:49 PM – Oct 19, 2017 1 15
capitalized to emphasize the fact it was an attempt. HE FUCKING FAILED!!!! the poor man accidentally dialed the (now) boyfriend 2:50 PM – Oct 19, 2017 1 19
AND TOLD HIM HOW GREAT HIS ABS ARE (and in general about how he’s so good-looking etc)… our guy also mentioned he was sporting a boner 2:50 PM – Oct 19, 2017 1 14
(while our guy is pouring his heart out the other guy is just sitting there quietly listening btw) so finally our guy confesses his love!!! 2:51 PM – Oct 19, 2017 1 17
and that’s when the other decides to speak up.. and he just goes good morning so ofc our guy realizes what he’s done freaks out and hangs up 2:52 PM – Oct 19, 2017 1 12
then he decides his life is over skips all his lectures, SUCCESSFULLY calls me, tells me about all this shit (while he’s making breakfast) 2:53 PM – Oct 19, 2017 1 12
after a while the other guy shows up at our guy’s house. while i’m still on the phone the two talk (somewhere far away and i can’t hear) 2:54 PM – Oct 19, 2017 1 11
but then they come back, having forgotten about me it seems, and continue their convo. i got the impression the (now) bf confessed too 2:54 PM – Oct 19, 2017 1 15
cuz he said something along the lines of “i was scared you wouldn’t feel the same” and that he was so happy 2:55 PM – Oct 19, 2017 1 12
i checked up on him later and he literally sent me: “k ♥♥” so they’re fine i guess 2:56 PM – Oct 19, 2017 1 11