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Poirot and Hastings have just been to see the Opening Night of the Biopic of The Great Hercules Poirot, starring Kenneth Branagh

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Hastings, trying to make the best of it,
"Well Poirot, that was a very splendid moustache".
"Humph: but he does not look after it mon amie. By the end, it was quite wilted, non?"
"Well yes, but he was under some strain, Poirot."
"Strain? Strain? My little grey cells are never under strain. There may be a moment of pause, yes, Hastings, but the little grey cells they always have spare capacity for the necessary grooming."
"Well he did do a very convincing job of disentangling the clues Poirot, you must give him that."
"I give him nothing mon amie. They were laid out for him, neatly, like his boiled eggs."
"Ah yes, Poirot. The eggs. I mean, good lord, do you ever *eat* boiled eggs?"
"For breakfast mon amie? Never. I am a Belgian. Breakfast consists of bread or a pastry and some conserve. Eggs are for omelettes!"

 

[And I apologise but the eggs were a really irritating running gag.]
Feel free to add more Poirot complaints below as you see the movie.