All of it meant nothing.
Was she the only one who see it ? Why did the other realize nothing ? Why were they so blind ?
She didn't understand.
And the thing is that she didn't really want to understand it.
The fact is that, at that precise moment, she wasn't really listening to the opera, she was thinking about other things.
She was looking around her.
She looked at Albert. Well, the viscount of Morcerf.
Her supposed fiancé. And not chosen by her.
(She didn't want him.)
He came to see them in their box during some instants, without a real desire to be here, according to the young woman.
Well, it was not as if she really wanted him to be there…
Eugénie had a little sigh, to which her mother paid no attention to.
She didn't like Albert ; it had nothing to do with him, but with concept of marriage itself.
And with men in general.
She felt trapped by this future wedding, that she really didn't want, just as Albert did.
(It was the only common point they had.)
She couldn't help but think that all of it was just a comedy, and that she was the only one who could notice it.
Eugénie always felt different from the other, since she was a child, different from the other woman, coquette and superficial.
They weren't all that way, right, but she was with too people who were like that in her life, and she had no common points with them.
She would have wanted something different, something more.
There was something in her, something she couldn't name.
Until Louise's arrival.
Something, this thing, woke up in her.
For the first time, she was in love.
She said nothing, not now, despite the interest that Louise d'Armilly seemed to have for her.
A shared interest, of course.
She was waiting a little, in order to be sure that it was reciprocal.
She didn't want to get married, she didn't want this to happen. It was the reason why she was so cold toward Albert she didn't hate him, but she didn't want to marry him.
Except that she could do nothing against that, just stay dignified and proud, and also haughty, with him, or in public. A thing she wasn't, in reality.
In fact, Eugénie was just herself with her dear Louise, that she loved as a friend, and even more.
She would have wanted to rebel against this life she didn't love, this fate she didn't want.
This marriage, that she hated.
She felt atrociously alone right now, even with the presence of her mother.
But in a way, she always was, right ?
Because of this difference that no one ever saw in her, her attraction for the women, she was almost sure of one thing.
There was her on a side, and the other, on the other side.
Unless she was able to find someone like her…
Someone as Louise, who would help her to escape from there.
Her look became dreamy, something no one noticed.
She almost wanted to believe it.
It was too bad that it was impossible.