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Sburb: Fast, Fun, Safe. Pick One

Chapter Text

Everett woke up to his phone dinging. From the gummy feeling in his mouth and the sun coming through the blinds, he could tell that he’d slept in, as usual. A quick glance at his phone showed it was the afternoon, even later than he usually got up. When he checked the time he also saw tons of messages from several different names.

Whoever they were, they could wait. He threw the duvet off of him and stumbled into the bathroom, toes curling at the cold tile. A glance in the mirror showed his hair was a mess, more than running his fingers through it could fix. The boy grabbed a toothbrush and dolloped some toothpaste onto it before stepping into the shower.

The water came out immediately hot, and he sighed in relief as the hot water pounded against his back. The shower was expensive, but it was so worth it. Besides, not like he bought it, not really. He just told his dad that he wanted to get a new shower set up and he’d been handed a credit card.

Everett loved long hot showers, but he also got bored. Who likes just sitting under hot water? To solve that issue, he’d bought a waterproof phone. Since then, his showers had increased in length by quite a bit. He’d once watched an entire movie on netflix all while sitting on the gray tile under the spray.

Now though he just used it to check up on whoever was texting him.


defaultChoice [DC]  began pestering fulgurantSymposiarch [FS] at 10:33 am

DC: who the fuck are you 


defaultChoice [DC] ceased pestering fulgurantSymposiarch [FS] at 2:34 am


periphrasticRecluse [PR] began pestering fulgurantSymposiarch [FS] at 8:12 am

PR: Hi, I just noticed your name appear in my chumlist. I was wondering if we know each other?

PR: Also do you know defaultChoice, stochasticTyro, or salientHalcyon? They also randomly appeared at the same time you did.

stochasticTyro [ST] began pestering fulgurantSymposiarch [FS] at 9:00 am


ST: Hi, I guess you are one of my new session mates? It’s a pleasure to meet you, my name is Lucy, this will be my third session. I was a native Witch of Law. I hope we can have a safe and productive time together.

ST: None of the others have responded to me besides someone who goes by periphrasticRecluse. They are attempting to play a joke on me, and will potentially you as well.

ST: They claim to have never played sburb, implying that this would be their first session. I do not know what the goal for these attempts are, but I felt I should warn you.

ST: I apologize for messaging you about this, but I am not sure who else to turn to. defaultChoice is angrily demanding to know who I am and how I got onto their chumlist, and salientHalcyon is not responding.

ST: I must admit part of the reason I am turning to you is that I quite like your chumhandle. Fulgurant is a good word.

ST: PR is being quite insistent with this joke. He, and I have learned that he is a he, says that he is familiar with sburb and is exciting for its release, but has never played it before. I’m not quite sure what to do.

ST: I don’t have the qualities of a session leader so I will leave it to someone else to untangle, however I felt I should inform you  since you have yet to respond to me, I will assume you have not responded to the others either.

FS: whoa, I was reading all these messages and I wasnt planning on responding to any of them, cause you know, random people showing up happens all the time, who cares?

FS: but that shit you just spewed is crazy enough that I gotta interact. I have no idea what youre talking about. youre a witch or something??

FS: haha thats crazy yeah okay

FS: then again idk any of the people that showed up in my chumlist but obviously you do, maybe something spooky is going on

ST: Oh no, not you too! Is this some sort of inside joke or prank I’m not in on?


Okay, Everett had no idea what this person was going on about. Crazies were everywhere, it wouldn’t be the first time he’d had someone try their hand at scamming him. This was a weird way to go about it for sure, but a scam is a scam.

Right now, he had more important things on his mind. Namely, breakfast. He wandered downstairs, setting his phone to sync with the speaker system around the apartment and boom out one of his playlists. It was an invigorating playlist, jazzy and upbeat. It made him want to dance, so he did. Not like there was anyone home to see.

He sashayed through the kitchen, collecting jars from the fridge and pantry and a knife from the drawer. Two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were soon stacked on a paper towel which he carried back upstairs in one hand, a glass of milk in the other.

He didn’t have any specific tasks or errands to run today, not that he ever really did. Any responsibilities he had were self imposed.

God these stairs were hard to navigate with stuff in his hands. His apartment was split into two floors, both essentially one large room. Upstairs was his room, a bathroom, and two closets, one of which he had lined with sound absorption foam so that he could stream games late at night without bothering his neighbors. It doubled as a handy spot to practice and record music. Thankfully the closets were very spacious, his wardrobe was bigger than average but it all fit into one closet.

The bottom floor was a kitchen and living room, set up with a massive entertainment center, he didn’t really spend much time down there unless he was entertaining or cooking. But with such an open concept, whoever designed the place didn’t want a staircase blocking things. Or maybe it had originally been two apartments and they’d just cut a hole in the floor of the upper one. The end result was a narrow, spiraling wrought iron staircase that disoriented him even when he was unburdened. Now, trying not to spill his drink, he felt like he was drunk as he made his way up. If only there was some sort of system in place where he could put items into an inventory where they’d stay pristine. Too bad real life wasn’t a video game.

Once upstairs, Everett immediately made his way into the closet so that he could eat while watching something on youtube. He found an interesting video about accents and began to tuck into his sandwiches.

Before long his meal was done and the boy was making his way to his other closet. He quickly put on a cotton varsity style jacket over his white t shirt and slipped out of his sweatpants and into a pair of burgundy slim fit jeans. Now for the real trouble, picking out his shoes. He had more shoes than he had shirts, and the perfect pair could bring an outfit together, but the wrong pair could tear it apart.

After much internal debate, he picked a pair of black and white vans. They at least wouldn’t clash with anything. And now, to the coffee shop. He brought along his phone, with earbuds of course, and his camera. Just in case she finally changed her mind.

He left his apartment building and stepped onto the sidewalk, a spring in his step. It was brisk outside, Halloween was coming soon. That reminded him, Everett needed to get to work on some costumes, more than a few of his friends had asked him to put some together for them, he’d get to that later tonight after he streamed.

The coffee shop was bustling as he stepped inside, his neck already craning to see if she was here. He stepped to the side to let someone go ahead of him in line, and he spotted the girl he was looking for in the back of the shop.

She was homeless, he thought. He sometimes left her a little bit of money, and even though she always glared at him, she also always took it. He’d give her more, but he didn’t want her to think he was trying to buy her.

She was...striking. She had alabaster skin and whitish hair, and the most beautiful amber colored eyes. At first he thought it was bleached hair and colored contacts, but no, she assured him that they were real. He’d asked her if he could take some pictures of her, she’d said no. It wasn’t until they’d ran into each other two more times that he realized she thought he meant nude photos.

It was then that he’d realized she lived on the street. Always so careful, so concerned about being taken advantage of. She’d gotten a laptop from somewhere and spent a lot of time in this coffee shop, taking advantage of the free wifi and the warm air.

She didn’t look homeless, or at least not what he’d come to expect. She was clean, and though she was legally blind, her eyes were sharp. But as they talked more, he began to notice other things. Like how she always wore the same pair of jeans and the same coat. And how, on the few nights they’d hung out until closing time, she never walked away with a purpose. She just loitered outside the shop, or in the alley beside it.

He knew she was suspicious of him and still thought he had some ulterior motive, which he did in a sense. Not anything nefarious or, as she most often implied, lecherous. He just wanted to add her to his portfolio.

Everett waved to her as he got two coffees, bringing them over to the table she sat at. She didn’t say anything as he sat down, but she nodded her thanks at the coffee and began taking sips that were so delicate he almost forgot how fierce she was.

“Afternoon Hyacacinth. So my little sister went through a bunch of her clothes and found some that don’t fit her anymore. Know anywhere I could take them? I don’t think there’s a goodwill around here,” Everett said. He didn’t have a little sister. Hyacacinth might not have known that, but she knew what he was doing.

Quietly offering charity, if she needed it. With the colder weather coming he felt a bit worried about her, even though they weren’t really that close. He would offer to let her stay on his couch if he thought she’d accept. No chance of that though.

The girl ignored his question, instead focusing on his greeting. “Would you stop being an asshole and call me by my actual name?” she asked through gritted teeth. He had a talent for annoying her, and he knew it.

“What? But Hyacacinth is your actual name. It’s what’s on your birth certificate.” He feigned innocence, as if he wasn’t intentionally pushing her buttons.

She sighed, obviously regretting sharing that particular fact with him. “I fucking hate you,” she said, before shifting her attention back to her laptop, still ignoring his question. She was typing quickly, and from the look on her face she wasn’t very happy with whoever she was talking to.

He didn’t push things. Despite her words, she was fine. She had some rules about what he could and couldn’t say or do, if he messed up she usually just stood up and left. It had taken him months to suss out what genuinely bothered her and what was okay. Insisting on giving her things was one of the first things he’d learned to stay away from.

So he switched topics. “What’re you typing?” he asked.

Her eyes shot up to look at him, then back down to her screen. He still wasn’t sure how she used her computer, from what he knew her vision was abysmal at long distances, and only marginally better up close.

“Some assholes have been trying to mess with me on pesterchum,” she said. “I’m telling them to fuck off and it isn’t working.” she said, almost shouting the last two words. It was actually the most frustrated he’d ever seen her.

“Want me to give it a try? I can be very persuasive.”

“Not persuasive enough to get me into your studio,” she muttered, saying studio as if it were a dirty word. “Sure, go ahead, I don’t fucking care anymore.”

He didn’t respond, instead swirling the laptop around to face him, careful not to knock his coffee off the table. To his surprise, the person she was talking to was stochasticTyro, the same one who’d been bothering him. His eyebrows shot even further upwards when he saw that Hyacinths chumhandle was defaultChoice, another one of the one's who’d messaged him.

This needed to be looked into, but he didn’t say anything for now. Instead he messaged stochasticTyro.

DC: hey, this is fulgurantSymposiarch.

DC: I legit dont know what you were talking about earlier, but I sort of believe you now.

DC: Im a friend of DC, she doesn’t understand either. if you keep bothering her it will push her away and she will ignore you. I will talk to you later, and Ill try to bring her around.

DC: for now its best to leave her alone. I’m going to delete this conversation so that she doesnt see it. dont respond.

He moved the cursor up and hit delete conversation before passing the laptop back to Hyacinth. “There, problem solved.”

She inspected the laptop, obviously trying to see what he’d done. When she didn’t find anything she shot him a look. “You didn’t do anything, asshole.”

He waggled his fingers at her. “I had to delete the conversation, to retain my sense of mystique. I promise you, they won’t be bothering you again.”

She grunted in response, and they sat there in silence for a few minutes. He’d gotten used to these, she wasn’t much of a talker. Finally, he asked, “When did they start bothering you?”

She finished typing her sentence before responding. “Just this morning. There’s four of them, but a couple haven’t talked yet. They all showed up on my chumlist out of nowhere, and I can’t remove them.”

Hmm. Same time she and the others had showed up for him. He hadn’t tried to delete them, but he wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t able to either. Something strange was going on.

“Why do you even have pesterchum anyways? I know you don’t have friends you’re chatting with.”

She punched him in the arm, hard. “Wow, fuck you! I’ve got friends, you don’t know.”

Everett took the blow and gave her a look that showed exactly how much he believed her. Hint: not very much at all.

Hyacinth looked at him through the fringe of her bangs, “Although I do mostly use it to talk to business associates. Despite all the friends I have.”

It was cute when she got all reproachful. Everett didn’t know what her ‘business associates’ and her did, but he could guess it was less than legal. He didn’t ask. Speaking of business associates, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. That must be ST. He needed to get home so that he could talk to her and hopefully start streaming by 3.

But first, he had a proposition for the girl in front of him. “Hyacinth, I was actually wondering if you could help me with something.”

She sighed in exasperation and closed the laptop a little harder than necessary. “No! I won’t model for you! And I’m tired of you asking you creep.”

“For the last time, it’s not a weird thing. You’d be fully clothed. But no, that’s not it. I’m making some costumes for Halloween. You have pretty similar proportions to one of them, I was wondering if you’d be willing to try it on and see how it fits. I’ll pay you, of course.”

That got her attention. She didn’t respond though, so Everett stood up to leave. “If you’re willing, come by my place around seven. You still have the address from when I got too drunk that one time, right?”

She nodded, still wordless, apparently deep in thought. So he stood up to leave. Really, the costume wasn’t a surprise or anything, he could just have the person it was intended for come by and try it on. But any chance he had to give her an opportunity to make some legitimate money he’d take.


Once back home Everett made his way to the computer for easy messaging with ST. On the way home he’d gotten a text from his dad that he was pointedly ignoring.


stochasticTyro [ST] began pestering fulgurantSymposiarch [FS] at 2:03 pm


ST: You and DC know each other? And are hanging out?

ST: Have the two of you played together before? Or run into each other on the forums?

ST: I will stop asking questions and wait for you to explain. I looked up the release date of sburb, we have a week, so there’s no rush.

FS: sorry just got home. yeah we know each other. hadnt ever exchanged chumhandles so I was surprised when I found out DC was her

FS: whats sburb

ST: Sburb is a game which we will play together, along with DC PR and SH.

ST: I believe you now. That you’ve never played before. I finally got a response from SH and he also says he has not played the game before.

FS: And I believe that you aren’t just some random weirdo, or troll.

ST: I didn’t want to believe it, but I talked to people on the forums and they corroborate that it’s possible. We’re facing at least two very early glitches here.

FS: ummm

ST: I understand that this does not make sense right now. I’d planned to forgo any explanations until I can get DC to cooperate. A groupchat between everyone would make things much easier.

FS: I guess that makes sense. Ill talk to her right now.


fulgurantSymposiarch [FS] began pestering defaultChoice [DC] at 2:44

FS: I’m everett.

DC: what

FS: you asked who I am. Im everett

DC: camera douche?


FS: camera douche

DC: prove it

FS: we met at blue sail coffee three months ago when i asked you where you got your contacts. less than an hour ago i asked you to try on a halloween costume at my apartment at seven

DC: ok what the fuck is going on

FS: I dont know. this morning a bunch of new chums showed up in my list, just like what happened to you. you were one of them

DC: wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf

FS: ST seems to know a bit of whats going on. they want to get everyone in a groupchat so that they only have to explain once. will you be good and hear what she has to say?

DC: dont fucking patronise me

DC: “will you be good”

DC: im sixteen, not some toddler

FS: oh wow I thought you were younger than that

DC: hey consider this: fuck you

FS: well Im nineteen, which makes me older than you, and thats no way for you to talk to your elders. now will you stop being an ass and let ST explain?

Chapter Text

Okay, she could do this. Lucy took a deep breath, softly repeating the word ‘capable’ to herself over and over.

stochasticTyro [ST] has created memo “Exposition and Explanation”


ST: Hello everyone. I’ve talked to each of you individually, but I think some introductions are in order. My name is Lucy.

SH: Hey yall, I’m Frank

FS: uh okay. Im everett

DC: sally

FS: thats a lie her name is hyacacinth

DC: i swear to god i will kill you

DC: i know where you live asshole

PR: Haha wow okay. My name is Cael.

DC: the fuck kind of name is Cael

PR: My parents were kinda weird. Is that really important right now?

ST: No, it isn’t. Okay, where do I start.

FS: how about with how we all got on each others chumlists?

ST: That’s a bad place to start.


Lucy had asked around on the forums about this specific glitch, once she realized what was going on. She had gotten lots of good advice, though nobody had run into anything similar.

ST: I know where to start. In a week a game called Sburb is going to be released, and all of us are going to play it together.

SH: How do you know we’ll play it?


Lucy was a terrible liar. Fortunately, she’d known that in advance and had asked for advice on what to tell them.


ST: We all got free copies from the developers, you should find a code in your email.

ST: The game is really cutting edge, it messes with reality. So, when we play we’ll be building each other's houses up, sort of like in the sims, if you are familiar with that.

ST: Except, in real life.


It was fortunate that they had download codes available, though it killed her that she had to lie about where they had come from. Normally when playing Sburb, especially towards the beginning, the game caused a sort of normalization field. Even though things might otherwise be absurd and disturb the players, the game made them just accept things. They were a week out, and that effect should get stronger and stronger the closer they got to actually playing.

She had to be careful about what to tell them and when, if they decided that they didn’t trust her, she might be in a very tough spot. Fortunately, she had someone who could corroborate her story.


PR: Yeah guys I’ve actually been really excited for this game for a while. I didn’t know that it randomly assigned your coplayers like Lucy mentioned, but there’s all sorts of secrets about the game. I don’t totally understand the technology they use to make the game affect real life. I read an article about it but I still don’t totally get it you know? And apparently even though the game isn’t out yet, it’s already changing some stuff in real life.

PR: So it’s a game right? Well they have an inventory system, obviously. It’s called a Sylladex, you put items into cards and they just sort of...vanish. But then you just think about it and it pops out of your deck. And you can just buy one of those!! It only works for people who have codes from the developers or who own the game. But I have one right now and it works! I can just make stuff vanish it’s amazing. I just bought it online and then I started being able to use it immediately, it’s so cool.

FS: holy shit dude

FS: chill out

PR: Sorry I just got excited.

DC: how am i supposed to play i dont have a house

ST: It works with apartments too, don’t worry.

FS: no she. doesnt have an apartment either

ST: Do you live in some sort of commune? I don’t understand.

DC: im homeless

ST: Oh.

FS: hya, you can come play with me in my apartment

ST: That won’t work, only one player per residence.

DC: plus id never willingly enter your shithole home you creep

FS: aww, luv u 2 hya

FS: Ive actually heard of sburb before. Im not sure where, but Ive definitely heard the word sylladex somewhere

FS: and captchalogue? for some reason that word is in my head

PR: Captchalogue is like...the verb. Like you captchalogue an item and it goes into your sylladex.

FS: must have heard of it from chat or something

HS: chat?

FS: I stream games online, and people watching can talk to each other and me

PR: Oh shit you’re a streamer? Are you popular?

FS: I mean I guess so. I have a couple world record speedruns so people watch if Im doing that

PR: Wow, what games?

ST: I’m sorry to interupt, but PR are you saying that you did not have access to a sylladex until recently?

PR: Yep.

ST: Hmm, that’s interesting. Everyone should get one, Cael would you mind pasting the link to where you made your purchase?


FS: seems useful, I’ll get one

FS: hya Ill grab one for you too

DC: thanks

DC: youre still a jerk though

HS: I got one


This was strange. They were all much more accepting of things than they should be at this point. A sylladex should be astounding technology, and it had physical aspects to it. You could pull a card out of the deck and have it appear in your hand, it’s how most of the in game alchemy and item creation was done. It made no sense that they would buy it online and suddenly have it. She would ask more experienced players on the forums later.


ST: For now, I think our priority should be finding somewhere for DC to play.

FS: she can play from my dads house. hes not in town right now, so there wouldnt even be anyone to bother her

ST: That should work. DC is that amenable to you?

DC: dont know what amenable means but i guess id be okay with it

DC: im still not convinced about even playing this game though


Lucy had worried about this. Maybe it was time to test and see how far the field of normalization would stretch.


ST: You need to play. We all do.

ST: The game acts as a method to escape the apocolypse. Meteors will rain down on earth, but after certain conditions are met, the game will teleport us to somewhere safe.


That was completely true, but not something that she would expect them to believe a week in advance.


DC: oh

FS: Ill make you play, even if you dont want to

DC: i was already going to asshole

DC: but now maybe i wont just to be difficult

DC: i wanna see how youll force me

FS: I know that you are an innocent child so Im going to assume you didnt notice the innuendo there

DC: of course you would think that you pervert

FS: being successful with the ladies doesnt make me a pervert


DC: id like to see the girls youve “been successful” with

FS: I havent “been successful” with any ladies. Ive got mad game, Im just more focused on myself right now

DC: yeah ill bet youre “focused on yourself”

FS: fine, see if I save you from the apocolypse

HS: lmao yall are funny

HS: im down to play, this sounds like fun and yall seem like a cool group of folks

ST: Well I’m glad that everyone is going to play. We’ll set up in a chain of server to client. So, Everett (FS) will be my server player, meaning he builds up my house and deploys the machines needed to let me enter the game.

ST: Then Hyacinth (DC) will do the same for him, and Cael (PR) for her, and Frank (HS) for him, and then I will do it for Frank.

FS: Hyacacinth*

DC: fuck you

HS: youve said that twice now, am i missing an inside joke?

DC: no

FS: yes. Hyas mom mispelled her newborn daughters name on the birth certificate

FS: a fact she revealed to me after drinking way too much for a girl her size. and one that I think is fucking hilarious


The group was being surprisingly joviel considering they just learned the apocolypse is coming. This was definitely unusual. Could she have misread the release date of Sburb?


PR: Hey everyone, just by the way. I entered that code because my internet is pretty slow sometimes, so I wanted to see if I could preload it. You know, like you do when you preorder a game?

PR: Anyways, what we’ve got are early access copies. We should be able to start playing at midnight tonight.

ST: Oh fuck.



Things moved fast after that. Everett got instructions from Lucy about what he would need to do to get her playing. She’d seemed uncomfortable with authority, never actually making demands, just suggesting. He wasn’t sure how she knew so much more than them, but she obviously did, so he mentally shrugged and decided to roll with it. For now at least.

His first job was to get Hya into his dads house. Easier said than done, since his dad wasn’t out of town yet. He wouldn’t be happy to find a strange girl in his house, and he’d be even less happy to find Everett there.

He’d texted Hya the address, but he didn’t know how they’d get in. There was an alarm, and his dad had changed the code after Everett moved out. Right now, he was loitering in the back yard, messing around with the sylladex. It had been easy enough to hop over the fence, he just had to be careful to avoid ripping any clothes on the sharp posts.

He hated being back here. It had been over a year since he left, and he’d promised himself that he wouldn’t ever be back, going so far as to avoid the neighborhood entirely. Messing around with the sylladex helped him to distract himself.

He inspected the strife deck option, apparently this was a seperate section of the inventory where you stored what you used to fight. The card, which materialized out of thin air with just a thought, had tons of options on the back of it, ranging from Hammerkind to Bunnykind. Apparently once you picked a type of weapon, you were locked in.

That was unfortunate, because before he’d fully figured it out, he’d put a shovel into the strife deck, which automatically set it to Shovelkind. Guess he was going to have to learn to fight with a shovel.

Hyacinth arrived right as he was swinging the shovel around him, doing some test swings. She didn’t say anything, but she snickered at him from behind the fence.

He ignored her, instead asking, “Do you need me to come over and give you a boost over?”

In response, Hya ran at the fence, putting her left foot on the iron crossbar, leaping from there to put her right foot on a circuit box attached to the side of the house, vaulting over the fence and tucking into a neat roll as she landed. “No, I think I’m okay.”

“Hyacacinth is a parkour god, got it.”

“And don’t you forget it,” she said with a smirk. “Now, why do we have to be in the backyard? Does your key not work on the front door?”

“Hey Hyacinth. I’m not accusing you of burglary or anything like that, but would you theoretically be able to disable an alarm system before it called the cops?”

She nodded. “I theoretically could do that, why?”

Everett hefted his shovel and smashed through a nearby window. “Because I don’t have a key.”

Hyacinth burst into action. “You fucking idiot!” She had to scream to be heard over the alarm. It wasn’t the quiet beep like when you open the door, it immediately burst into the loud siren meaning it would soon call the alarm company.

“I could have picked the lock to give us more time,” she said as she scrambled through the window, being careful of the shards of glass. She went over to the alarm box by the door and inspected it closely for a second befor punching in a code. The alarm stopped.

“How did you do that?”

“Three of the buttons were oily, and with the numbers one, nine, and seven it’s probably a date. 1971 made the most sense.”

Her explanation was interupted by the shhk shhk of a shotgun cocking. “I thought I told you never to come back here.”

Everett turned slowly. “Dad, I didn’t know you were working from home today.”

“Boy, why are you here?”

“Is that any way to greet your son after a year of being away?” he asked. He really shouldn’t let his mouth get away from him. Especially with a gun pointed at his head. But for whatever reason, despite his fear of the man, whenever Ev was talking to his dad he couldn’t stop himself from snarking and mouthing off. His therepist had suggested it was a defense mechanism, but what did she know.

His dad didn’t respond, he just sort of thrust the shotgun at him.

“Okay fine, my dear friend Hyacinth here needs to use the house.”

Everetts dad turned to her, seemingly noticing her for the first time. He lowered the shotgun to his side and stepped toward her, “oh my dear, if you need a place to stay, I’m sure something could be arranged,” he said, implying everything that Hyacinth normally thought Everett was after.

In a flash, before he could even think, the shovel was in his hands, swinging toward his fathers head. The metal head smacked against the back of his skull with a crack, and the elder Sawyer crumpled to the floor.

“Holy shit dude, did you just kill your dad?” Hyacinth asked with just the faintest hint of awe in her voice.

“I don’t...I don’t think so,” he said, kneeling to feel for a pulse. It took him a moment to find it, but it was there. “Yeah, I didn’t kill him. I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

“You know it’s not like in the movies. He isn’t gonna wake up in a few hours with a headache,” Hyacinth said as she produced duct tape from somewhere, beginning to wrap it liberally around his wrists. “He’s gonna have a serious concussion, at the very least.”

“Good, that means he won’t bother you while you get into the game. If you want, I can play here and you can go play from my apartment.”

In a rare show of compassion, Hya put a hand on his shoulder, though it made her visibly uncomfortable to do so. No touching was one of the first rules Everett had learned with her. “It’s probably best if I play here. Go home Ev.”

“Aww, you even used my nickname,” he said, clasping his hands together and gazing lovingly down at her.

“Aaaand you ruined it. Any sympathy I had is gone. Get out.”

He did leave, after helping her stash the body in the shed out back. As he walked back to his apartment, Everett expected to feel elated, he’d finally given his old man what he deserved. Instead he just felt empty. He wouldn’t see his dad again. He didn’t know how he knew, but he did. And as he thought back, he couldn’t help but remember his dad, helping him with his math homework in elementry school. And his dad, teaching him how to chop wood and tie knots.

He remembered the bad stuff too, of course. Not that he could ever forget it. He was almost disappointed in himself, he almost wanted to dwell on the bad memories, the one's he still had nightmares about. But he couldn’t. Instead he remembered his dad, taking him to the racetrack and watching the horses run their workouts.

Chapter Text

Everett had his instructions, Lucy had written them out for the server players and the client players in a word document and sent it to everyone. It was 12:05 and he had already installed the server copy of the game, Lucy had impressed upon them how important timliness was in these early stages.

Since getting things done early was so important, he’d started streaming at 11:30. He didn’t tell the others he was doing it, he felt like they might not like it. But he wasn’t going to not stream it. He had a duty to his subscribers.

He wouldn’t let it distract him though. For now he wasn’t talking or interacting with chat, just letting them see what he saw.

The installation finished, and on his computer screen he saw a young woman in a room that didn’t seem to fit her very well. All around the room were trophies, he couldn’t see what for, and on the walls were posters for football teams, and even a few pin up posters. He’d ask later, right now he was a man on a mission.

He had a certain amount of grist that he could use to move things in her house, or to build additions. It basically worked like a currency. However, there were several large metal machines that were free to place. First, he zoomed out and found the garage, where Lucy had cleared enough space for everything to fit in one room.

Then he deployed something called the cruxtruder. It had a large metal base with a timer on it counting down from five minutes and a vertical tube with a lid on it, attached to the tube was a wheel you would use to crank out things called totems. First he needed to get the lid off by hitting it with something heavy, Lucy had conveniently placed a forty five pound weight by the door of the garage.

He used his cursor to pick up the weight and move it over the lid, but he accidentally dropped it once there. It did it’s job though, the lid popped off and a light blue orb floated out. Lucy was waiting for it, she immediately tossed a small glass fish at the orb. In a flash, the orb turned into a fish, still the same color and not looking entirely physical.

That thing was called the kernel , and then the sprite. By ‘prototyping’ it with an object, Lucy said they were basically entering their personal details for the game. The enemies in the game were also affected by the objects prototyped first, so she had advised they stick to items that wouldn’t make the enemies more deadly.

It needed to be prototyped twice though, and Everett watched her throw in a picture of a boy who looked to be about thirteen.

Next, Everett needed to deploy the prepunched card. He should have done that already, but he got distracted watching Lucy. The prepunched card was a card from the sylladex inventory system punched with holes. When used with other objects he would deploy shortly it would create an object that Lucy could use to teleport her house to somewhere else, a place she called the medium.

In the corner he placed the totem lathe and punch designix. With the totem lathe, you loaded up a card from the sylladex that had been punched with a set of holes, and then it carved a totem of ‘cruxite’ which came from the cruxtruder. The cruxite dowels were about a foot tall, and maybe half as thick in diameter.

The punch designix was used to put a pattern of holes on any card from the sylladex. Then you could do something and combine cards? It was some sort of in game item crafting system. And of course it had to be overly complicated with tons of ‘unique’ names for everything.

Three minutes left on the timer and lucy was dashing around, inserting her pre punched card into the totem lathe before turning the wheel on the cruxtruder and grabbing the dowel that came out. She put the dowel in the lathe and it carved it down into a warped vase looking shape. Now she was pointing at an empty space on the floor. Why was she doing that? Oh shit, yeah, the alchemiter. The final machine he had to deploy. This one got loaded up with the cruxite dowel and it used that same currency as before, grist, to create an item out of thin air.

Lucy put her cruxite dowel on the pedestal and hit a button. The alchemiter had a large circular pad on it, and once she hit the button something that looked like a pencil appeared on it. It was the same blue color and made of the same material as the dowels.

Lucy grabbed it and did a few things, apparently trying to write with it? That had no effect, so she grabbed it in two hands and snapped it in half. And then nothing happened.


FS: I thought you were supposed to teleport

ST: I did, you just need to scroll out to observe it.


Everett did as instructed, and found that Lucy's house wasn’t where it used to be. While before it had been in a suburban neighborhood, surrounded by houses that looked nearly identical to it, it was now in the middle of what seemed to be a great plain of grass. Huh.

FS: wow okay, legit. whats next

ST: My house is going to be invaded. In fact it already is. The server player should build up the client player's house so that the first gate is accessible.


There she went again. Never just telling him to do something, but talking about what the server player should hypothetically do. Still, it wasn’t a hard task, just like playing the sims really. He moved the camera to the roof and built four tall pillars of equal height, which used all of the available grist. They weren’t even close to the gate.

The gates were these seven portals over each person's house that led to either somewhere on their land, or somewhere on another player's lands. The first one went somewhere fairly close to the house, and the house would be swarmed by enemies until she went through it.

FS: hey Im out of grist already

ST: That won’t be a problem very shortly. If you’d like to find something heavy to assist with combat, I would greatly appreciate it.


He scrolled back in to find Lucy in the house and wow she was right. The house was covered with these little black carapaced guys. They looked like pretty standard low level enemies from a game, he doubted they would be very dangerous on their own. But there were about fifteen in the living room alone, and Lucy was nowhere to be seen. He quickly panned over and grabbed the same weight he used to get the top off of the cruxtruder before moving the camera upwards into the bedroom.

Here he found Lucy in the doorway, fighting off imps to keep them out of her room. She was using some sort of stabby sword, which struck him as much more functional than his shovel. Each time she lunged forward to stab an enemy it exploded into grist, the tide was in her favor for now.

That was about to change though, he watched as an imp crawled out from under the bed. It snuck up behind her, brandishing a cane or stick or something. He dropped the weight on it, and it exploded into grist just like when Lucy stabbed them.

Now that the grist was coming in he moved back onto the roof, but kept an eye on the bedroom in case more imps tried to sneak up on her. On top of the pillars went a platform, and to the side of that he attached a ladder that descended to right by the bedroom window. He built a little platform there so that she could step out and escape if she needed to.

And with the number of imps, it looked like she would. Going back up to the top, he tried to use the grist as efficiently as possible by continuing his tower of support pillars and ladders. Really, this shouldn’t be stable, but he assumed that the game allowed impossible structures to be built, given that his hadn’t fallen yet.

Finally, he reached the gate. It was a floating spirograph in the same light blue as Lucy’s cruxite dowels and sprite were.


FS: I reached the gate

FS: climb out the window behind you at your leisure


He moved the camera back to check on Lucy and found her standing back checking her phone while her sprite, now a boy in football pads with gills, blasted the imps with footballs made of energy. Lucy read his messages and slid open the window, stepping out onto the platform.

As she began to climb the first of many ladders, he looked upwards. Imps weren’t the only enemies around anymore, some large ogres, also with gills, had crawled up onto the platforms.

Worryingly, these ogres seemed smarter than the small imps. One was waiting above the ladder Lucy would climb from, a large club held ready to strike. The ogres were at least ten feet tall, it was hard to tell via the computer screen. Big enough that he wasn’t sure Lucy would survive even one hit.

He couldn’t send her a message warning her either, she wouldn’t check her phone on the ladder. First things first, he built a wall seperating the two ogres. One was still poised to wallop her when she came up, but at least she wouldn’t have to fight two at once.

Everett looked through his menus frantically, hoping to find something that would let him push the ogre off the side. There wasn’t anything like that, but he did have an idea. First he built a small platform above Lucy, stopping her upward progress. Next he built one right under her feet.

Getting the message, she stepped off the ladder and waited.

FS: theres an ogre up there, he knows where youre gonna come up and is waiting to hit you

FS: and another one on the same platform but I put a wall in between him and the ladder

ST: How do you know they’re called ogres?

FS: is that really the important thing right now? how I know what an enemy in a game is called?

FS: I sort of remember doing this. must have watched a walkthrough or something, idk

FS: plus just look at them, they are obviously ogres

ST: I would be interested to talk about this more, at a later and safer date.

FS: okay cool neat. how are you going to survive the deadly ogre waiting to pound you into a pancake

ST: Oh that. I’m awful at this game, I was basically useless during my first two sessions.

ST: But even I can deal with a single ogre.

FS: no lucy its like right there waiting for you


But it was too late, he could see she’d put her phone away before getting his message. For the first time he didn’t have anything he could do besides wait and watch, so he went and checked his chat.


Bischu: Oh shit she’s fucked

DOmin: fucked

Treante: fucked

Eldirinc: fucked

YessirNossir: fucked

Realitucked: fucked


That went on, everyone spamming too much to make out any single message. He gawked at his viewer count, he had almost half a million. That was...many times the most he ever got.

Everett directed his attention back to Lucy, just as she neared the top of the ladder. He watched as she primed herself and then launched herself upwards, over the head of the ogre. She landed delicately behind it and lunged forward with her rapier. It pierced the back of the ogres neck, right in the center.

Holy shit. The ogre exploded into grist and Lucy quickly gathered it up before continuing her climb. The rest of it was uneventful, she reached the top and jumped up through her gate, Everett losing sight of her.

Guess that meant it was time for him to do what she’d just done. Except armed with a shovel. And without any fighting experience.


DC: boss lady said its time to get down to business

FS: to defeat the huns?

DC: you make me very tempted to just walk away from this computer and ignore you

FS: please dont ill die

DC: you actually believe that

DC: the apocolypse stuff

FS: dude go outside and look up. theres meteors everywhere, smashing shit

FS: Id bet money theres one beelining for my house


She didn’t respond for a few minutes. Apparently she’d actually gone outside to check the sky. In the meantime, he grabbed something he’d rigged up earlier in the day. A baseball cap with a small camera crudely attached under the brim. It should let his viewers see what he saw, more or less.


DC: okay im installing the server copy with more urgency than before

FS: my client copy is installing as well

FS: time for me to survive the apocolypse, lets goooooooooo

As per Lucy’s suggestions, he had cleared out as much space as he could, hopefully it would be enough to fit everything. His apartment was kind of small. On the ground floor he’d shoved the couch up against a wall, and upstairs his bed was moved to to corner.


DC: why are you in your closet

DC: do you stay there a lot

FS: yes haha hilarious Im in the closet and that means im gay

FS: could you go ahead and save my life please?


Hyacinth deployed the Alchemiter on the ground floor. He wasn’t down there, but he could hear the thump as it hit the ground. Guess it was time to get moving. He left his closet and went down the stairs. The alchemiter was right up against the entertainment center, and apparently Hyacinth didn’t have enough space to put anything else down there. The alchemiter, already big with the pad, could be upgraded more later so it reserved more space than it was currently using.

He saw her put the prepunched card on the kitchen counter and then move upstairs. If he squinted, he could see her cursor, moving around. Everett captchalogued the prepunched card in his sylladex, proud of himself for catching on to all of the lingo so quickly. Then he followed the cursor upstairs.

Hyacinth had made quick work of things, everything was already deployed by the time he made it up the stairs, and she was using his bed to pop the lid off the cruxtruder. Out floated a kernel, and it was only then that he realized the kernels and sprites were the same color that they typed in, his being a deep purple.

He grabbed the things he’d prepared for prototyping from his sylladex, glad that he had an array modus. Apparently everyone had gotten a random fetch modus when they got their sylladex. The fetch modus determined what order they could take items out, and his array meant he could take out any card, regardless of it’s place in the deck. It seemed incredibly functional.

Hyacinth had one called stack, so she could only get whatever was on top of the deck. She’d already bitched about it to him quite a bit.

First prototype was a baseball card he’d found in a drawer of junk. Second was a photo of his best friend from elementary school. The sprite took the form of a young boy, wearing a baseball uniform. It didn’t say a word, it just took off a necklace it was wearing and handed it to Everett before floating away.

Everett checked the timer on the cruxtruder. Fifteen minutes. Plenty of time for him to shoot Lucy a text.

FS: hey Lucy something weird just happened

ST: I’m afraid weird things happen extremely often in this game. You will have to be more specific.

FS: my sprite just handed me a necklace and left

ST: That necklace is your pendant, it’s very important. My sprite did much the same thing, he left much more quickly than usual. I had hoped that it would just be me, but I guess not. This is worrying.

ST: For now I think it is best that we focus on getting everyone into the game, once everyone is in we can have a meeting and discuss.

FS: yeah hyacinth has been bopping me on the head with a toothbrush for the past minute I think she wants me to get a move on

FS: Ill talk to you later boss


Without a sprite to help him fight, this would be even more difficult than he’d feared. Still, nothing to do but suck it up and try not to die. He got a dowel of cruxite and loaded it onto the totem lathe with his prepunched card. He took that warbly vase shaped rod to the alchemiter downstairs.

With a small flash, the alchemiter created a soda can. Just a regular looking can of soda, except solid purple and made of a strange material. Not knowing what else he was supposed to do, he cracked open the top and started drinking and oh god it was horrible.

It tasted like grape flavored cough medicine, and the liquid inside was viscous and coated his teeth and tongue. As he kept drinking it somehow got worse, the liquid becoming almost too thick to flow properly, more like pudding than soda.

Eventually, finally, he finished the can. And nothing happened. He ran to the window and looked outside, he was definitely still in his old neighborhood. He texted hyacinth but got no response.

The can was still in his hand. Maybe there was a little bit left inside? He turned it completely upside down, but anything left inside wasn’t flowing out. Back upstairs, the timer hit two minutes. Not sure what else to do, Everett checked his stream to see what chat was saying. It was filled with spam and memes, as usual, but he found a couple useful suggestions.

He ran to the bathroom and filled the can with water, drinking that too. It tasted pure, so there apparently wasn’t any liquid left inside. The meteor streaking towards his apartment was visible through the window now.

With no options left, Everett let out a yell and crushed the can against his forehead. His gut wrenched, and though the interior of his house looked exactly the same, he knew he had teleported into the medium.

Each of them had a planet of their own in the game where most of their quests would take place. Hopefully Hyacinth was still around, even if she wasn’t responding. He needed to get to his gate.

Everett pulled his phone from his pocket to text Hyacinth and a something stabbed him in the calf. He jerked his leg forward and spun around, stumbling backwards. One of the imps he’d seen Lucy fighting, now also wearing a cute little baseball uniform, was standing there with his blood on it’s sharp finger claw things.

So it was starting then. He pulled out his shovel and tentatively approached the imp. How aggressive would it be? It had just attacked him, but now it was just sort of, standing there. Everett swung with the side of the shovel in a downward chop, hitting the imp in the head. It recoiled, that hit hadn’t been enough to turn it into grist.

Above the imps head was a health bar, about halfway empty. For some reason, that made Everett pause. How was the health bar floating in mid air, appearing to him? If he weren’t currently fighting something he might have laughed. The game had given them magical inventory slots and made enemies appear from nowhere and let you move stuff around in someone else’s house, but the health bar was what he decided to question.

The imp didn’t care about his questioning of game mechanics and advanced on him swiftly, swiping forward with sharp claws. Everett leapt backwards while striking forward with the flat of his shovel, managing to avoid the attack. One more smack and the imp was grist.

It was time for him to get outside. He stepped out his front door onto a chunk of city sidewalk that had been transported with his apartment. Oddly, it looked like it was just his apartment that was taken, the rest of the building was nowhere to be seen. On the roof he could see the staircase from inside, circling upward toward the first gate.

Now if only Hyacinth had provided a way for him to get onto the roof. He went back inside and found three more imps in the living room and one in the kitchen. He tried to bait the one in the kitchen towards him by throwing a shoe at it, hoping to avoid fighting them all at once.

It didn’t work, all four imps turned and ran at him. He tried the tactic he’d seen Lucy use, keeping them clustered in the doorway so that he could fight them one at a time. The one in front was taken out with a chop at it’s neck, but Everett’s arms were already getting tired. This shovel wasn’t exactly a balanced weapon.

The next two he took out using similar methods. Just one more left and oh fuck there were seven more imps coming out of the pantry. He wasn’t getting back in the house through this door, he could see even more flooding down the stairs. Fortunately there weren’t any ogres yet, but it wouldn’t be long.

That meant he needed another way to get to the roof. He slammed the front door shut, locking the imps inside.

He began chopping at a loose brick in the steps up to his apartment with his shovel, knocking it free from the mortar around it. He had to take a few breaks to deal with imps that came around the corners of the building, but pretty soon he had the brick in his hand, ready to throw.

Specifically, ready to throw at the second story window to his bedroom. The brick sailed through the air and smashed through the window. Next, he tried to open the window on the ground floor, but found it locked from the inside. Damn him and his home security. Guess that meant he was smashing another window.

There wasn’t enough of a sill for him to stand on with the window closed, so it was his only option. He hefted himself up, finding his balance before kicking free some of the glass shards.

This would have been a lot easier if Hyacinth would a staircase up to the roof, but she seemed to have stopped building.

He kicked a few imps away from his legs to ensure they wouldn’t hinder him. Finally he didn’t have anything left to do to put off the inevitable, so he jumped. Straight up, and grabbed a hold of the sill with his fingers.

Desperately Ev kicked, finally getting his feet against the walls and pushing himself up. He threw an arm over the sill and felt the leftover glass dig into his arm. He did his best to ignore the pain as he hauled himself up, standing in the window sill once again. Inside, the imps were tearing up the comforter on his bed, tossing the feathers everywhere.

Just one more jump, he could do this. He repeated his jump to get to the roof, though this time there was less glass sticking into his arm. Once at the top he took a breather while he stripped off his shirt and wrapped it around his arm where most of the cuts were. Most were little more than scratches, but in one spot he had a deep puncture that was oozing blood.

He thought he might be going into shock, because his head felt a little woozy. He shook it off as best he could and looked upward.

Looks like Hyacinth just built a spiral staircase all the way to the gate. It was certainly like her, it was probably quick and easy for her to do, and it worked just fine. The wrought iron seemed clear of imps, so he began to make his way up slowly. His nightmare from yesterday was realized, and he’d been right. These stairs were tricky when drunk, or in this case dazed and woozy from blood loss.

Everett did it though, one step at a time the gate got closer. Then he felt a tremble. Up this high, the wind was making the stairs sway gently, but this was different. He looked down and saw an ogre clambering onto the roof.

He was probably safe, no way the ogre could come up these tiny steps. Still, he increased his pace as best he could. He was getting close to the top when he was knocked to his feet by the staircase shaking.

He looked down and saw the ogre, wrenching the stairs back and forth. This was why you didn’t just build a flimsy staircase into the heavens.

He broke into a sprint, or the closest approximation of a sprint he could manage with a wounded leg. Five steps left. Four. Three.

Finally, the ogre ripped the staircase from the roof, and Everett was falling. In that split second, he went through the first three stages of grief. Deniel. I can’t die like this. Anger. Fucking Hya couldn’t just build the house up. And Bargaining. I’d give up anything if it would let me make it through that gate.

And golden chains stretched down his legs, circling around his feet. And in one final desperate act, Everett found the staircase, and he jumped.

Chapter Text

This game was fuckin fun. Entering into the Land of Rocks and Springs was a breeze. The dude with the weird name she couldn’t remember, PR, had gotten her in no problem. The imps were an eyesore, but armed with her chain she had taken them out easy peasy.

Watching Ev fight was fun, he was far from being in prime physical condition, even though he claimed to be super masculine and fit. Plus he was using a shovel, what a dork.

On the other hand, Hyacinth was a fighting machine, knocking out imps left and right. She didn’t need her sprite at all, which was good because the douchebag had left immediately. She prototyped a childhood picture of Everett that she’d found on a mantelpiece. In it he was wearing this doofy scarf and smiling.

He’d actually been a cute kid, who knows what happened during puberty to make him look the way he did now. She’d been hoping it would make the imps look like him, but instead it just gave them poofy scarves. Lame.

Right now, she was chilling on what the Boss called her land. It was supposed to be where all of her personal quests and individual challenges and shit were. Right now though there were just a bunch of little crocodile dudes. When she jumped through her first gate she landed in this little village with some of them.

They all surrounded her and shook their fists and she was about to start whooping some reptilien ass when this older looking crocodile came out and told them to chill out. How a crocodile looked old she didn’t know, but this one definitely did.

Hya had asked Ev, who said that the Boss said that these guys were called her consorts. They would give her missions and stuff. She was glad she got cool one's, crocodiles rocked. Everett ended up with geckos, which were also kind of cool but not as cool as hers.

The Boss had totally blue balled her, and everyone else. She’d said there would be a session meeting as soon as everyone woke up. And then refused to explain that vague ass statement. She’d just said that Hya was the one they were waiting on.

Hyacinth didn’t need to wake up. In fact, she hadn’t even gone to sleep yet, and it had been almost a whole day. Or at least, she thought it had been almost a whole day. Her land didn’t seem to rotate, the light in the sky stayed in the same spot and it wasn’t getting darker.

She hadn’t really accomplished anything in the past day, just wandered around. She’d found out that some things were just assigned to them. She didn’t get to pick her role like in every other game she’d played, instead she had been assigned Ward of Blood.

Who knows what that meant. She hadn’t developed any magical powers or started bleeding or anything. Everett either didn’t know or hadn’t said what he was, but he said that he had jumped like fifteen feet to get through his gate so there was definitely something weird going on there.

Like she hadn’t been able to choose her role, she didn’t choose to have the Land of Rocks and Springs. She didn’t know how she felt about being the Ward of Blood, but she was very happy with her land. There were big piles of stone every where, and springs that ranged from little dribbles of water to filling up pools and combining to make rivers.

Her clothes were soaked from an embarrassing fall, so she headed back towards the house. She could see it in the distance. Of course she’d been wet for almost an hour now, but she’d put off going back to get dry clothes. That house made her uncomfortable. PR had promised he would build a new house on top of it and a staircase going up to it so that she wouldn’t have to walk through the original.

When she got close, she was pleasantly surprised to see that he’d already gotten around to it. He’d even built a wall around the original house, so that it looked like the new house was just sitting on top of a platform.

To change from her wet clothes, she would need new ones, and no way was she wearing Everett’s dad’s clothes. She would need to make more.

First, she delved into the original house to collect a few things, moving as quickly as she could. Once back upstairs she found the alchemiter and other devices. From what she understood, she could use these to combine items and make new ones using grist.

She quickly stripped off her wet clothes and captchalogued them, then covered herself with a sheet.

Using the alchemy machines, she combined her wet clothes with a drier sheet she had snagged in the laundry room. That combined the way she’d hoped, making a set of dry clothes. They smelled like a fresh spring breeze, which was cool.

Next she figured she might as well have a couple sets of clothes, so she hit the button on the alchemiter a few more times. They all looked the same, but she didn’t particularly care. She put on one set of clothes, glancing around furtively as if she’d be able to see her server player watching.

She’d considered messaging him asking him to not watch her, but decided against it. Telling him she was going to be changing was just asking for him to look at her. Better to just change quickly and hope he didn’t happen to glance at her house.

She captchalogued the other clothes, and nearly screamed when it shot two items out of her sylladex. The way hers worked, she could only grab the most recent thing she’d put into it. And if she filled it up, whatever was at the bottom shot out like a bullet. This time it hadn’t been a big deal, just a roll of duct tape and a water bottle. But earlier in the day she’d flung a knife from the kitchen into a wall by accident.

Hyacinth decided her next priority was to get a better modus. She grabbed the current fetch modus, it appeared in her hand just like when she grabbed something from her sylladex. She captchalogued the modus itself, to get the code. Then she combined that code with...

What could she possibly combine it with to make a better fetch modus? Hya tried first combining it with a knife, since she had one on her. After she nearly stabbed herself, she’d started wearing the outdoorsman's knife in a sheath.

The combination with the knife didn’t produce a fetch modus, but it did make a Knifekind strife specibus. That should let her use knives as well as chains. Twice the weapons was twice the fun, after all.

After quite a bit of trial and error, she ended up with the functional wallet modus. It made a physical wallet she had to keep in her pocket, which was lame, but it did let her grab anything she wanted at any time.

This alchemy stuff was kinda fun, and she had plenty of grist. The Boss had suggested that they improve on their weapons as soon as possible.

She combined her chain, which was just a regular chain with links about a sixth of an inch thick, about six feet long, with her knife, which created the bladed chain. It was just like her old one, but all the links were sharp. She would need to get a glove of some sort to use it.

Next she created the vorpal knife. It was crazy expensive, but she didn’t really get why. It was just a knife with a wavy blade on it. She couldn’t even allocate it to her strife deck for some reason. What a piece of shit.

That left her with just a little bit of grist, so she made a chainmail glove by combining her chain and a glove. It wasn’t super comfortable, but it was weirdly form fitting and it did the job.

Now that she had that taken care of, she had one more problem to deal with. One that she was intimately familiar with. She was fucking starving. The kitchen downstairs fixed that quickly, though there wasn’t very much food. The pantry was nearly empty and the fridge had the barest necessities. She’d need to find another way to get food eventually.


Hyacinth was walking across her land, on her way to a dungeon one of the consorts had told her about. But as she walked, she passed a weird slab. Her whole land was made out of rock, but this was different. She wasn’t a geologist, but she’d recognized shale, limestone, and that one they made fancy countertops out of.

But this rock wasn’t like any she’d seen. It was a pale gray, and unlike the rest of her land which was natural looking, it had sharp corners and edges.

Something about it made her approach, and crawl on top. The stone was warm, and almost soft to the touch. Without really thinking about it, she laid down. And all of a sudden, the past day caught up with her, and she didn’t think she’d be able to get up if she wanted to. But she didn’t, she just wanted to lay there.

And suddenly, Hyacinth woke up. She wasn’t on the slab anymore, she was on a bed. And wearing different clothes. What the fuck. And Lucy was in the room with her. What the fuck.


stochasticTyro [ST] has started chat “Session Group Chat”

ST: Our final player has finally awoken. I’m glad it happened so quickly. In my last session, a player didn’t awake on their dream moon for nearly a month.

DC: yeah about that what the fuck

DC: i woke up and you were standing over me and then i dont really remember anything

ST: So, above your land you can see that light in the sky right? That isn’t a sun, it’s called Skaia. Orbiting that are two moons, called Prospit and Derse.

ST: Hyacinth, Cael, you two are on Prospit with me.

ST: Frank and Everett you are both on Derse.

ST: When you go to sleep on your land, you wake up on your moon. There are quests to do there, just like on your land. There are some more mechanics involved, the better your sleep is the more you remember your time on the moon, among other things.

ST: But now that we’ve all woken up, we can have our first session meeting. Everyone, go through the second gate on your land, build up to it if you haven’t yet. That will put you on another player's land.

ST: Keep going through gates until you end up in Everetts house.

FS: excuse me why my house

ST: Oh I’m sorry! I didn’t think you would mind. We can do my land if you want, it really isn’t that important.

FS: no its fine I guess just why my house

ST: Well I just didn’t want it to by me or Hyacinth because those aren’t really our houses you know? And I was trying to be authoritative.

PR: I volunteer my house, I would love to have everyone come over!


HS: I’ve got a question. You said a couple of times now that you’ve played this game before. How did you end up here?

ST: I’ll explain more in person, but the short answer is that when you beat the game there is a replay option. There’s actually a whole community of replayers, I’ll hook you guys up with the network dongles so that you can chat with people on the forums.


Oh god there was so much to do, there was so much to do. Everyone was going to be here soon, and his house was a mess. The original house was small, almost a cabin, but there should be enough space for everyone, Frank had been kind enough to move the alchemy machines up onto a floor he built near the first gate.

Cael wanted to make a good first impression, obviously. He dashed around the house, which was wrecked from his fighting minions and Franks building. Maybe it would be better to just have everyone meet on the second floor, which Frank had built. He could make some couches pretty easily with the equipment up there.

But then it wouldn’t have the same ambiance as the cozy den area downstairs. They probably wouldn’t care about ambiance but what if they did. Probably not. He would make the couches.

That out of the way, he needed to clean himself up. Really he should have done that first, his house being a mess was excusable given the circumstances, but him? If he didn’t look good he was doomed.

He took a quick shower, being very careful not to get his hair wet. It looked really good right now, the perfect balance between a natural look and a carefully styled wave. Then came the much longer, more laborious task of picking his outfit.

Cael left the bathroom and threw on a random pair of boxer briefs. Nobody should be seeing those today, so they didn’t matter. Everything else though.... He was laying things out on his bed, trying to decide between a long sleeve button down with a lovely pattern on it and a short sleeve button down with pineapples. The long sleeve might be too much visually, he would have to wear plain pants and shoes. But the short sleeve seemed to beachy, especially for here on the Land of Rain and Roads.

Eventually he decided on the patterned long sleeve with a coat over it, he hadn’t decided which one yet. He was about to put the shirt on when someone spoke from behind him.

“Damn dude, tight cheeks you got there. Do you squat?”

Cael spun around, instinctively clutching the shirt to cover his crotch, even though he was fully covered. In front of him were two people, a boy and a girl. The girl he recognized as Hyacinth, but the boy could be either Frank or Everett, or he supposed Lucy. It wouldn’t do to assume someone’s gender and make the wrong impression.

The pair continued talking about him like he wasn’t there. “See Ev I told you he was a perv. That’s 2/5 for our little group.”

The boy, Everett, replied, “If he’s a perv, he’s a perv who hits the gym. Wait, who’s the other perv in the group?” he asked before a sad look came over his face. “Oh, it’s me isn’t it.”

“Right in one!” she cried with glee.  “Are you sure you aren’t gay? You immediately commented on the dudes ass. That’s why you’re the other perv.”

“It’s purely aesthetic appreciation. Dudes fit without being bulky, all sleek like. If I could buy a body I’d buy one like that.”

Finally Cael overcame his blush and found his words. “I’m not some...some specimen for you two to comment on. Leave while I change please.”

Everett smirked, “Why dude, we’ve already seen just about all there is to see.”

Cael just gathered up his clothes and went into the bathroom. This was going terribly, he hadn’t expected anyone to show up so soon. Now that he’d been embarrassed beyond belief, his clothing choice didn’t seem so important. He threw on some maroon jeans, a plain t shirt and a green and gold jacket his dad bought him last year.

Exiting his bathroom, he found Everett and Hyacinth absent. They were outside in the den, sitting on a couch. Also outside was a boy a few inches taller than him, making him probably 6’2”. That must be Frank. He looked like a surfer, what with his messy blond hair and  wearing a tank top, shorts, and flip flops. Standing in front of the fireplace was Lucy, who seemed to be muttering to herself. She wasn’t as dark skinned as him, but she was darker than the others.

Cael stood in shock for a moment before bursting into action, getting out drinks and and trying to clean up some of the mess. A hand fell onto his shoulder, and a deep voice was telling him to calm down. He turned to see Frank grinning at him and he sat down in the remaining chair, once again embarrassed that everyone had seen him panic.

“It looks like we may begin,’ said Lucy from the front of the room.”I’m Lucy, as you all know. I’ve become the defacto session leader due to my experience with this game. I must warn you, I didn’t do very much in my last two sessions, and this isn’t a roll I am fully comfortable with. But I will do my best.”

“Now, for why we’re here. Normally, in a player's first session they are playing by their own choice with their friends who they have known for years. If they manage to not die and beat the game, they replay it in a new session with people they have never met before but who have also played the game and are replaying.”

She sighed, fighting to keep the downtrodden look off her face and largely failing. “Why the five of us are in a session together, I have no idea. But one thing you must learn early with this game: It is glitchy as all hell. There are many guides that you’ll be able to access once I hook you up to the replayer network, one in particular details many of the glitches you might find. I hope you will read it, as it will take some of the burden of leadership off of my shoulders.”

Cael looked around as she talked and saw mixed faces. Frank was passively listening, giving no reaction. Everett looked much how he himself felt, desperate to interrupt and ask questions. Hyacinth looked skeptical.

Lucy continued, not quite looking anyone in the eye. “Sburb is a game yes, but I’m sorry to say it’’s also your life now. Choosing to stay on Earth would have resulted in you dying, so getting you into the game was the only way to save you. I may have omitted some things in order to make that easier.”

Everett finally spoke up. “Wait I thought this game was supposed to like, stop the apocalypse?”

Lucy sighed again. “No, I’m afraid not. The purpose of this game is, in the broad sense, to create a new universe. The mechanics of that will fall to whichever of you is the space player.”

“So everyone back on earth is gone?”


Nobody said anything for a while, until Hyacinth screamed incoherently. Everett tentatively put a hand on her shoulder, but she jerked away. “Hya, it’ll be okay, at least we’re here right?”

She wiped an eye and said, “No, no, it’s not that. It’s...Fucking Greg Smith owed me fifteen dollars. And I’m never gonna get that back.”

Nobody said anything again, this time for very different reasons. Finally, Frank burst out laughing. “Yeah, fuck Greg!”

That prompted a round of everyone shouting ‘Fuck Greg’ and laughing, the terrible news they’d just received somewhat diminished. Even Lucy gave a timid yell. Cael could tell her heart wasn’t in it though. He got a feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach, though he wasn’t sure why.

“Alright everyone,” said Lucy, more authority in her voice. “There’s more to discuss. Unfortunately, this game is so dense and buggy and poorly designed I won’t be able to warn you about every little thing. I hope you will use your heads and try not to die. In case it wasn’t obvious already, you aren’t in a simulation. Your body is your body, and if you die you are gone, except for a few specific circumstances.”

“For now, I think you can figure things out for yourselves from your consorts. I do need some information from you though. Your lands, so that visitors will know what to expect, and your classpects.”

Here was something he could get right. By talking to his consorts Cael had already figured out his Classpect, and his land was obvious. He raised a hand and then lowered it quickly. This wasn’t school, he didn’t have to raise his hand. God, how did he fuck even this up? Hopefully nobody noticed, but judging by the snickers coming from the couch, Hyacinth did.

“I’m the Sylph of Fate, and you guys probably guessed the land if you looked outside. It’s the Land of Rain and Roads.”

Lucy seemed to ponder that for a moment. “Alright, interesting classpect. And I think I forgot to mention, I’m the Waste of Hope, and I have the Land of Crags and Crevices.”

“Waste of Hope?” asked Frank. “That’s kind of depressing.”

Lucy turned to him and gave a half smile. “It is actually, but not for the reason you’re thinking of. All the classes and aspects that combine to form your role are a bit unintuitive. Waste means devastation brought about by your aspect.”

“So you’re going to waste some fools?” asked Everett, laughing at his own joke.

“If that’s how you choose to think of it, yes I suppose so.”

“Oh yeah, also, I have the Land of Crystals and Flroakgess. No idea what that last one means.”

“Oh, you’re our space player. That last word is a minor glitch, you have the Land of Crystals and Something and Frogs, but it messes up and attempts to combine the second two words into one. Just look around, I’m sure you can figure out what the middle word is. You’ll need to know for several ceremonies and quests.”

Everett shrugged and sat back into his seat. Then apparently remembering something, he sat back up and cut off Frank, who was about to list off his land and role. “Wait, I’m not the space player though, I’m the Sage of Law.”

Lucy jerked her head up from where she’d been writing something down on a pad of paper. “You’re positive of that?”

He nodded, and Lucy started to panic, Cael could sympathise.

“Frank and Hyacinth, what are your roles?”

“Uh, I’m the Guard of Flow,” said Frank.

Hyacinth muttered so quietly he almost couldn’t hear her. Now that he thought about it, she hadn’t talked at all since they’d gotten together. “Ward of Blood.”

“Okay um, nobody panic. I think the session might be salvageable. I think. Just. Nobody panic and. Fuck okay um.” Lucy continued like that. Cael didn’t really know why, but she was obviously spiraling downward.

He moved over to her, planning to put a comforting hand on her shoulder and say some calming words, but as soon as he touched her shoulder she shrieked loud enough to hurt his ear drums. Even when she’d been trying to be authoritative, she hadn’t been loud.

“Don’t touch me! Just, everyone please just go.” Lucy was still screaming, freaking out even worse than before Cael intervened. He decided not to point out that this was his house, and instead ushered everyone outside onto the porch. There was a swinging bench that seating two, but nobody took it.

“So, it’s not just me right? That was weird and very unleaderish,” Everett said to nobody in particular, addressing the group.

“I was just trying to help, I had no idea she would freak out if I touched her.”

Frank patted his shoulder. “Don’t worry buddy. I’ve been talking to her a bit, the pressure of trying to lead us is getting to her. Apparently this game is a glorified death trap and more often than not people die during entry.”

“Yeah, I almost died because someone,” he said, glaring at Hyacinth, “didn’t bother building more than a shitty staircase to my gate.”

Hyacinth punched him in the arm, glaring right back. “I told you, I didn’t have grist to do anything else. It’s not my fault you can’t fight for shit.” Was she always that aggressive? From what he’d seen, she and Ev were friends, but that punch looked like it hurt.

He just rubbed the spot she’d hit and rubbed her hair patronisingly. “I know kid, I’m not actually mad. It’s actually probably a good thing, I think the stress activated a power early. I can’t smell anymore, but I survived.”

Wait what the fuck. “You can’t smell anymore? Like at all?”

“Yeah man it’s completely gone. I hope it’ll come back at some point but idk.”

Hyacinth scoffed. “Did you just say idk out loud?”

“Yeah, fuckin deal with it. I’m a wild boy I can’t be tamed.”

Hyacinth looked mad, but Cael was pretty sure she didn’t dislike Everett as much as she claimed. He was still the only one she really talked to, and he’d caught her smiling earlier when he made a joke.

Frank spoke again, ignoring the other two’s antics. “Plus, I’m pretty sure she has OCD. That might be why she freaked out when you touched her. Not your fault bro.”

“Just because she doesn’t like to be touched doesn’t make her OCD,” Cael said. He hated it when people who were neat said they were OCD, it was so trivializing.

“No dude I’ve actually spent some time with her in person and, even if it’s not OCD she definitely has some tics. I think she’s trying to hide it though, I don’t know why.”

Hyacinth grimaced. “She thinks it would would make us think she’s...what's the word? Incapable?”

“Incompetent,” Everett supplied.

“Yeah, that. I saw that a lot with people on the street. Nobody wants to show weakness or seem vulnerable.”

“Were you really homeless?” Cael asked.

“No, I was lying about it to seem cool and glamorous.  I secretly have one thousand houses, I just had to break into Everett’s dad's house because I was desperate to meet the man that produced the mess you see standing to my left.”

Cael put his hands up in defeat. “Fine jeez, I was just asking,” he said. She sure was feisty, though he had a feeling she would hit him if he said that out loud. Or maybe not, he didn’t really know any of these people very well yet. That reminded him of something Lucy said earlier. He wasn’t really sure how, it was one of those weird leaps from one thing to another that weren’t really related. Maybe it was the idea of getting to know people? Who knew.

“Didn’’t Lucy say she was going to hook us up to be able to talk to other people playing this game?” he asked.

“Oh yeah,” Frank started, grabbing something from his Sylladex. “Lucy did that for me earlier, she showed me how to do it for you guys too. It should only hurt a little bit”


Lucy was okay. She was fine. She took deep breaths, and she checked her phone. Because she was fine, and that’s what you did when you were fine right? You acted normal. She didn’t have any new messages. Of course she didn’t, everyone who might message her had been in the same room as her until very recently.

Okay, calm down. Solve the problem. What was wrong? Their session had no space or time player and therefore was doomed.

What were the pros? They had frogs which might mean they could create a universe as intended. They had not died yet which, since they had no time player to interfere, implied that they might not be timeline doomed.

What were the cons? She had never been the space player and had no idea how the creation of the universe normally went. They might all die a horrible and protracted death and oh god okay she needed to stop thinking about their death.

She would make a post on the forums, someone was bound to know what to do.


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♦Topic: Frogs but no space player

In: Boards ► Sburb Mechanics ► Glitches

stochasticTyro (Original Poster)

Timespace stamp 97036132


Hello everyone. As I’m sure many of you are aware, I am in a scratched session that has already encountered one major glitch. Well, two I suppose. However, it’s common knowledge how to handle a session with an odd number of players. The larger and more pressing glitch was the fact that my coplayers are in their first session and have no knowledge of the game.


Due to my relative inexperience, I have already called upon you a number of times for assistance, and I am afraid I must do so once again.


We have no space or time player. Our session contains myself, the Waste of Hope, a Guard of Flow, a Sage of Law, a Ward of Blood, and a Sylph of Fate. However, our Fate player has Frogs on his land which leads me to believe that winning may still be possible. Has anyone encountered this before, and is there any advice?


I have taught our Guard how to hook the rest of them up to this network, so expect four complete neophytes sooner or later.


All help appreciated, I would really like to not die.




(Showing Page 1 of 1)


► fragrantMonk

Replied on: Timespace stamp 97036134


Wow, you’re really getting the short end of the stick huh? I don’t have any advice for you, sorry.


  1. What happened? You always get extra stiff and formal when something is wrong.

► stochasticTyro (original poster)

Replied on: Timespace stamp 97036135


Besides learning that we are most likely all going to die? Someone touched me. I was already panicking and it just compounded on the problem. Thank you for your concern Damien.


How is your current session going? I had a faint hope I’d run into you or someone else from our first session, but I knew it wasn’t likely.


► questionableBastion

Replied on: Timespace stamp 97036140


I’ve been through 17 sessions now, never heard of a session having frogs but no space player. As far as I know, it should still be possible to win. You should try to find out asap if the Beat Mesa exists on anyones land. That would make me think that the session is still fertile, it just messed up aspect designation for some reason.


Note that possible doesn’t mean easy. Without [Mini Me] it will be very difficult to hunt down all the frogs, but still theoretically possible. You could try to use the fate player to find them via instinct, depending on how quickly he can get in touch with the Faith. The blood player might be able to develop bonds with the frogs, leading to them.


And the Law player might be able to sense where you aren’t likely to find them. Beyond that, it will take lots of man hours. Good luck, and keep us posted.

Okay that was helpful. And hopeful. Heh, because she was the hero of hope. Okay she was feeling better, at least good enough to make jokes. She tapped her thighs twice and stood up. Time to face the Hyacinth and the boys. No doubt one of them would suggest they take over as leader after that stunt. She couldn’t blame them, she didn’t really have much to contribute beyond game knowledge, and soon they would have access to the forums so she wouldn’t even have that.

It wouldn’t be Frank, he was too passive to make a grab at leadership. Probably why he got assigned Flow. Cael seemed eager to please, he probably wouldn’t either. She could see either Hyacinth or Everett taking charge. Probably Everett, Hyacinth hadn’t seemed very comfortable with the group.

That was okay, she would work better as a number two anyways. Everett would make a better leader than her. She pushed the door open, ready for whatever happened.

Everett and Cael surged forward, “Are you okay?” asked Everett.

“We were worried about you,” said Cael.

She wasn’t prepared for this. “Um. Yes I am fine thank you.” She knew that sooner or later one of them would realize she wasn’t fit to lead, but she supposed she might as well do her best while she had the position. “I think that our next task should be to get you all connected to the replayer network, so that-”

Frank interrupted her, though he didn’t seem to notice. “Don’t worry, I already did that boss.”

For some reason Hyacinth turned wide eyed to look at Frank as Lucy tried to contain herself. She’d cracked wide open in panic not long ago, it wouldn’t do to do so again. Even if she did hate being interrupted more than anyth- okay this line of thought wasn’t going to take her anywhere productive.

“Thank you Franklin, that is very helpful. I suppose-”

“Frank is short for Francis, not Franklin. Good guess though,” Frank said with a smile. Did he really not realize how rude he was being? Lucy took deep breaths. Deep breaths fixed everything.

“As I was saying,” she said sharply. “I suppose our next step should be to get back to our lands. I will send you all some links to helpful guides. I spoke with some people on the forums, they think it should be possible for us to succeed, just very difficult. We’ll all need to get in touch with our aspects quickly, especially Hyacinth, Everett, and Cael.”

“So, what do we do on our lands?” asked Cael.

“Just...ask your consorts for quests. When you're dreaming you need to find the consort band as fast as you can and do their quests until you get the song of life. It'll heal you and feed you. Don’t die. Maybe go on the forums and ask veteran players some stuff, I don’t know. I’m too tired to babysit you,” she said before walking back inside to find the stairs up to the gate.

She heard Cael’s voice behind her, “Guess we figure it out ourselves.”

Chapter Text

Man, Frank always felt great after a workout. Didn’t matter if it was at the gym getting his lift on or dungeon diving beating up some imps. They’d been going at this game for maybe a month. Probably not that long, but he had a hard time keeping track of time given how wonky his sleep schedule was. He tended to stay awake for days and days and then sleep for the same amount of time.

Lucy said it was something about being a Flow player. He kind of got that, he was getting the hang of Flow. After reading part of a guide someone on the forums had linked him, he’d figured out the important parts. Don’t stop going. Do whatever you do 100%.

Honestly, he didn’t really know why he’d been assigned it as an aspect. Their role was supposed to be a challenge, something that made them change and grow. The Flow mentality was pretty close to his philosophy on life already. Experience all he could, have fun, do his best. That was all pretty Flowy stuff.

The Guard part he was struggling more with, but not because it was necessarily difficult. He just didn’t have anything to guard. He was supposed to protect people, but he was alone on his land so what did he have to protect?

Apparently there were some dream quests you could do to get this little clothes lady to follow you around and she was really good for guards, but those quests were boring as hell. He was getting through them though, just kinda slow.

Right now he was on his way to do something that he dreaded almost as much, a maturity quest. That was part of Flow too though, you gotta do stuff you don’t want to do. That was actually part of maturity too, now that he thought about it. Why did he even need maturity quests? He had this shit down on lock.

salientHalcyon [SH] began pestering “Fuckery”

SH: Anyone care to join me for a delicious maturity quest?

PR: I would, but I’m kinda just chillin right now.

SH: Come on, I need the company.

PR: But, I finally managed to alchemize a set of Scrubs dvds and that show is dope dude, I haven’t seen it in so long.
SH: How’d you make that?

PR: Scrubs&&DVD

SH: Oh, duh. Well come on you can watch your doctor show later, right now I need someone to quest with me. I’m trying to get my ARC up and I can’t protect anyone if I’m alone.

SH: You can even internally monologue while we’re slayin imps and shit.

PR: Ugh fine. But only because I need your help getting in touch with the Faith

SH: Don’t forget to wear your fire retardant clothes!



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♦Topic: The Newbie Session

In: Boards ► Personal ►Individual Sessions

stochasticTyro (Original Poster)

Timespace stamp 97036200


(Showing Page 3 of 3)

► pariphasticRecluse

Replied on: Timespace stamp 97037012


Our Guard of Flow died yesterday. I was with him. Doing a maturity quest of all things. He...fuck. He joked that I should stop fighting the enemies so that he could guard me better.


I thought we were safe, so I did it. An ogre snuck up on me, don’t ask me how. Clubbed me in the back of the head. I...fuck he must have been so amazing. I died. He. I guess he didn’t know about kiss revival. He never did read anything but the “cool sections” of the guides we linked him.


But he knew about god-tiering. I don’t know how he did it, probably just spammed that Flow ability that makes you run faster and [And It Don’t Stop] or something. He got me to my land, onto my Quest Bed in less than half an hour.


So yeah, I’m godtier now, but it’s a pyrrhic victory at best.


Anyways, we were in one of those dungeons where you have to keep going till the end, because there’s tons of traps behind you. Well. He ran through those traps, I have no idea how. He bled out on my land. I contacted my session mates as fast as I could to see if they could revive him, but it was too late.


Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.


He was our best player. He was. I mean, kind of selfish, sometimes rude. But he was so in touch with his aspect already, and such a chill dude. I remember, a few weeks ago. I was really freaking out, my classpect has been giving me trouble, like it’s supposed to I guess.


Anyways I was worried I was going to permanently tank my ARC by fucking up in the beginning. And I didn’t want anyone to know how bad I was screwing up, so I stopped responding to messages and hid in my room which actually helped my ARC a little bit because I was following my instinct to hide.


He just showed up. I didn’t need to ask for help, he just provided it. He comforted me, and helped me feel better.


Out of everyone in our session, he was the dude I’d most call my friend.


I miss him.


► definiteWinner

Replied on: Timespace stamp 97037013




I didn’t know him, but any death is a tragedy. PR, what are your sessionmates doing? I would expect you all to be together right now in a feelings jam of some sort. But given that you are posting on here and they are not, I assume that isn’t the case.

► geriatricGoose

Replied on: Timespace stamp 97037015


I’m so sorry for your loss PR. Feel free to direct message me if you need to talk, and let everyone else know the offer extends to them as well.


► definiteWinner

Replied on: Timespace stamp 97037017


@definiteWinner I think they’re at our leaders house yeah. I don’t really want to be around them right now. I mean, it’s my fault he died. I doubt they want anything to do with me.


► specificDetritus

Replied on: Timespace stamp 97037013




Shut the fuck up dude. Sorry to be rude but, seriously. Is that what HS would want? For you to blame yourself and mope around, further screwing up y’alls already difficult session? No. Your job is to take over his duties. That means that if he was your ectobiologist, that’s your job now.


But he was the Flow player, and Flow has another job. They’re the heart of the team, and their job is to never give up. That’s your job now. You are officially the last person who’s allowed to back down, so don’t.


► geriatricGoose

Replied on: Timespace stamp 97037020




I actually agree that that’s good advice, but you could be a little bit nicer about it. The dude is having a tough time as is.


► pariphrasticRecluse

Replied on: Timespace stamp 97037021



No, they’re right. I’m not honoring his memory if I just sit in my room and cry. I can cry while fighting shit, that’s what a Flow player would do right? Multitasking.

pariphrasticRecluse [PR] began pestering Fuckery


PR: Sorry I’ve been mia. I didn’t take things well, obviously. But I’m incoming with snacks and some tasty psybuffs.