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Brace For It

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“Lou, I think I’m bad at sex.”

Louis blinked and slowly turned to look at his best friend sitting next to him.

Harry was watching television, looking all chill and nonchalant as though Harry’s sex life was everyday conversation for them. It wasn’t. Louis tried very hard to stay away from the topic of Harry’s sex life. As attractive as he found his best friend, he didn’t think it wise to wander down such dangerous avenues.

Louis swallowed and turned back to the television. “I’m sure that’s not true. Logan would have said something by now, I’m sure,” he tried teasing.

Harry sighed, chewing on his bottom lip for a second before admitting, “Yeah, Logan dumped me.” “He what?” Louis twisted to check if Harry was fucking with him. 

“He dumped me,” Harry repeated, appearing to become more agitated as the conversation carried on.

“Well, I’m sure it had nothing to do with the sex, mate,” Louis tried to appease him, reaching over to put his hand on Harry’s shoulder, patting it awkwardly.

Finally, Harry turned so that their eyes met. “He literally said, ‘you’re the worst fuck I’ve ever had’.”

“He actually said that?” Louis was hot with anger, cheeks burning and fists clenching. “That bastard! Where does he get off talking to you like that?”

Harry gave Louis a fond smile, warmed by his friend’s protective streak. “I think the point is that he wasn’t getting off,” Harry said drily.

think the point is that you need to find better boyfriends,” Louis retorted, still agitated.

“Someone you recommend?” Harry raised an eyebrow.

Louis shut his mouth and looked away. Yes, there was someone he would recommend but he wasn’t at all sure how Harry would take that suggestion.

Harry sighed and turned back to the television. “That’s what I thought,” he pouted, taking Louis’ silence the wrong way.

They sat in silence for a few moments, the only sound the tinny voices from the television. It was a weird, uncomfortable silence between them, one that neither of them was used to. Harry broke it, waving his arms around as he ranted, “how do you even learn to be good at sex? You can’t learn from porn because that shit’s just unrealistic. I thought you learned by, you know,doing it, but apparently that’s not right either because it seems, after three years of practice, I have learned nothing.”

Louis waits to make sure Harry is done ranting before replying. “You do learn from doing it,” he says, not looking at Harry. He doesn’t think he can look at Harry and talk about sex at the same time without getting a stiffy. No matter how ridiculous the sex talk is. “You’ve just been doing it with arseholes.”

“I mean,” Louis can already hear the grin in Harry’s voice, “that’s kind of what I’m into, Louis.”

Louis reaches over and punches him in the shoulder, relishing in the sharp cry of pain Harry yelps out. “Shut up. You know what I mean.”

“Did you have to hit me so hard?” Harry pouts.

“Yes,” Louis replies, smiling to himself.

Another few seconds of silence pass and Louis is relieved that it seems the conversation is over. Of course, when has Harry ever made things easy on him?

“Soooo, you’re saying I need to find someone to practice with?”

Louis’ chest is hurting before the question is even completely out of Harry’s mouth. “Sure,” he answers, hoping that will be the end of it. Because he doesn’t want to think about who Harry will be practicing with. Not when he knows it won’t be him.

"Except,” Harry hesitates, thinking on his words. “Like, I’m not gonna learn anything from a string of one night stands. And that’s not really my style anyway.”

Louis knows. Harry has an annoying habit of being a serial monogamist. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it just means Louis’ never stood a chance because for as long as he’s known Harry, Harry’s almost always had a boyfriend. He loses one and a week later another one is in his place. Harry has always been highly sought after, not that Louis can blame people for finding him irresistible.

“What, you don’t have another boyfriend lined up already?” Louis asks sulkily. Perhaps he’s a bit bitter.

“Shut up,” Harry whacks Louis with the back of his hand, probably repayment for the punch to his arm earlier. “No, I don’t.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Harry,” Louis shrugs. It’s true. He doesn’t know what to say beyond standing up and screaming with his arms waving above his head,‘I volunteer as tribute!’

Harry swipes a hand over his face and he actually seems genuinely distressed for once. “So, how do I learn?”

Louis is genuinely distressed too. Each time Harry asks, Louis gets just a little closer to suggesting himself as a possible partner in this endeavor. He manages not to once again, but just barely. “I don’t know, aren’t there like people you can pay for that?”

Harry tilts his head at him, a look that is clearly not amused on his face. “I’m not paying a rent boy to teach me how to have sex.”

Louis sputters. “That’s not what I meant! I was talking about a sex therapist or something. I don’t even know if that’s the right word for it, but I didn’t mean a rent boy!”

Harry shrugs, “Either way, Louis, I don’t want some stranger that could turn around and laugh at me behind my back. I need someone I can trust for this.”

“What? Someone like me?” Louis scoffs. Oh dear god. He’s done it. He’s suggested himself. Louis expects to hear Harry laugh it off and tenses for the rejection, but nothing comes. Harry hasn’t said a word and that prompts Louis to turn to him.

Harry stares at Louis thoughtfully, lower lip caught between his teeth. He looks absolutely sinful like that and Louis can’t look away.

“Would you do it?” Harry wonders, raising his shirt a little to scratch at his belly. Louis’ traitorous eyes follow the movement, catching on the little trail of hair that leads into the waistband of Harry’s jeans.

“Are you asking me to?” Louis volleys, not sure what the correct answer is.

“I think I just did,” Harry tells him, moving the hand under his shirt down to adjust himself in his jeans. Louis averts his eyes with a sharp inhale, so he’s unaware of Harry scooting closer until he’s right there. “Please, Lou?” Harry asks, batting his lashes innocently and pouting out his lips as he grasps Louis’ bicep in one hand. “You’ve got two whole years on me in experience. You must at least be a little better than I am.”

“Oh, I’m good, you little shit,” Louis tells him with a smirk. If Harry thinks he can get away with teasing Louis like that, he’s got another thing coming. “Just you wait.”

“Does that mean you’ll do it?” Harry asks with wide, hopeful eyes but Louis knows he’s not as innocent as he pretends to be. He’s just been goaded. And they both know Louis sucks at backing down from a challenge.

“Of course, I’ll do it,” Louis agrees staring Harry down. “I’ve got me honour to defend now, don’t I?”

Harry grins widely, dropping the innocent act. “When do we start?”

“We can start now if you want,” Louis says, watching in shock as Harry immediately reaches to start unfastening his jeans. He swiftly reaches out a hand to stop him. “With the basics! We’ll start with the basics.”

Harry looks at him with confusion. “So like, a handjob?”

“More basic than that.”

“What? Nipple play?” Harry asks, still not quite getting it.

“Kissing, Harry! My god,” Louis mutters, this boy is gonna be the death of him.

Harry rolls his eyes. “I don’t need kissing lessons, Lou. I’ve never had complaints about my kissing.”

"How do you know they just don’t say them to your face?” Louis asks flippantly.

“Because I’m pretty sure if I was a lousy kisser, I never would have had sex to begin with.” Harry levels him with a stare that says this should be obvious.

“Fine,” Louis sniffs, crossing his arms over his chest. “I hope you’re right.”

Harry licks his lips and then sucks his bottom one in to bite on as he narrows his eyes at Louis for a moment. “You think I can’t kiss?”

“I dunno, Harry. That’s kind of the point,” Louis tells him.

“Okay,” Harry nods his head but there’s a tension to the movement that speaks of indignation. “I’ll show you.”

“That’s all I was asking for,” Louis says with a smirk.

Harry obviously doesn’t appreciate the implication that he’s not a good kisser because he pulls Louis’ arms away from his body and moves to straddle his lap like a man on a mission.

“Wha-” Louis tries to ask when he suddenly finds himself with a lap full of Harry.

“Shut up,” Harry cuts him off, leaning in and breathing over his lips. “Put that mouth to better use.”

Louis would respond but then Harry’s lips are on his, soft and supple. They’re just a little wet and the pressure is perfect. And then Harry is licking at the seam of his lips, a gentle nudge, a request. One that Louis can’t deny. He opens up to Harry, barely holding back a moan as Harry tastes him for real. Their tongues slide together and Harry’s arms slowly wrap around Louis’ neck, prompting Louis to raise his hands to tangle in Harry’s hair.

They lick into each other’s mouths like dying men trying to subsist on one another’s souls, like they can live on the breath from the other’s lungs. Louis falls into it, down a magical rabbit hole of HarryHarryHarry that feels so much more wonder-filled than any land that Alice could ever stumble into.

After far too long and yet, not nearly long enough, Harry pulls back looking kiss drunk and pretty pleased with himself. “How was that?”

Louis takes a deep breath and exhales shakily. “Yeah, you’re good in that area.”

Harry laughs. “I told you.”

Louis gives him a look of dismay. “Maybe too good.”

Harry’s lighthearted grin falls, brow furrowing as he wonders, “What do you mean?”

“I mean after a kiss like that,” Louis starts, eyes wide, gaze spacey, some part of him is still haunted by that kiss. He hopes it lingers forever. That is a memory he doesn’t want to forget. “Anything less than absolute, mind-blowing perfection is going to be like getting a date with the fittest guy in the room only to find out he’s actually straight and he thought you were having ‘bro time’.”

“So, I’m doomed to be a bad lover because I kiss too well?” Harry questions indignantly. “How is that fair?!?”

“Well, I mean,” Louis grimaces regretfully, “we haven’t done anything else. I can’t say for sure that’s your problem.”

Harry glares down at him and he looks so aggrieved that Louis has to bite his lips together in order to keep from laughing. Harry must still be able to see the need to laugh in Louis' eyes because he licks his lips slowly and plants his hands firmly on Louis’ shoulders and then he grinds his arse down on Louis’ half-hard cock. “Well then, let’s get to it.”

“Holy shit, Harry,” Louis gasps, catching Harry’s waist in his hands to hold him still. Suddenly, Louis really doesn’t feel like laughing. “Give a guy some warning will you?”

Harry smirks. “It’s not as much fun that way.”

“Fine then,” Louis shrugs, moving quickly to roll them down on the sofa, Harry’s back against the cushions. The sudden movement causes Harry to wrap his arms around Louis’ neck, afraid of falling. Now, they’re so close as Harry lays there, staring up at him with wide eyes, Louis lying between his legs. “You asked for it,” Louis informs him, with a laugh.

“You’re an arse,” Harry huffs, but Louis notices how he doesn’t let go.

“Doesn’t that make me your type?” Louis jokes with an arched brow. He doesn’t know where the confidence to joke about such things is coming from. Maybe it’s the way Harry nearly devoured him when they were kissing. Or maybe it’s how he seems to be practically begging to have sex with Louis.

“How are we doing this?” Harry asks, ignoring Louis’ question.

“That depends. Should we concentrate on one area at a time? Or do you just wanna go for it and I’ll tell you when something needs work?” Louis responds. Personally, he’d really like to get to spend some time on each section on Harry’s body, showing off that Louis definitely knows how to give a man what he wants. But really, considering who he’s talking to, Louis will be happy with anything.

“Let’s try just going for it naturally,” Harry suggests, sliding his fingers into the hair at Louis’ nape. “I feel like concentrating on one thing at a time would be a lot and I don’t know how many times I can come in one day.”

Louis’ jaw drops open. Just mental image of Harry coming over and over again because of him could make Louis come right now.  He can’t dwell on it for long because Harry coaxes his head down and starts kissing him again, rutting up into Louis as he does.

Louis gets into it, grinding down as he enjoys the wet slide of their kisses, the tempting flavor of Harry in his mouth.

Harry’s arms move from Louis’ neck to his waist, hands sliding beneath his shirt, fingertips tickling his skin. So far, Louis is seeing nothing wrong with Harry’s foreplay techniques. Maybe his ex was just trying to make him feel insecure.

Louis has to reevaluate that thought when Harry tries to pull his shirt off and ends up nearly choking him with it in his impatience.

Once Louis helps him get it untangled and gets it over his head, he clears his throat and rubs at his sore neck. “Rule number one,” Louis tells an abashed-looking Harry. “Don’t kill your partner.”

“Sorry?” Harry pouts, rubbing a thumb lightly over Louis’ pink skin. “Let me make it up to you,” he says sweetly, pulling Louis down to press his lips softly against the area. He litters Louis’ throat with cute little pecks that has Louis giggling and tilting his head down, using his chin to stop the onslaught. Harry switches tactics, moving to the other side of Louis’ neck and latching on, a gentle suck that has Louis moaning. He closes his eyes and melts at the feeling. Until Harry suddenly bites him harshly.

“Ouch,” Louis screams, pulling away and covering his neck with a hand, shielding it from Harry’s apparent belief that he’s a fucking vampire. He pulls his hand away, fully expecting it to be covered in red but, thankfully, it’s not. “What the fuck, H?”

“What?” Harry asks, bewildered. “What did I do?”

“You fucking bit me.”

“I thought you liked that? I’m positive I’ve heard you say before that you’re into biting,” Harry complains.

Louis sighs. “I am, but you don’t actually stick your teeth into someone, H.”

“Well, then I’m just confused.” Harry shakes his head and Louis feels pity for him because he does actually look baffled, the poor dear.

“Here,” Louis offers, capturing Harry’s face in his hands, holding him still. “Let me show you.”

“Okay,” Harry agrees, leaning his head to the side when Louis releases him. “Dazzle me.”

Louis chuckles because this boy does not know what he’s just gotten himself into. He bends down, breathing lightly over Harry’s skin, nose rubbing faint a line against his throat.

“Quit teasing, Lou,” Harry whines, gripping Louis’ hips in warning. Louis doesn’t know what he’s warning but it sends a thrill up his spine nevertheless.

“It’s called foreplay, Harry,” Louis says right against his neck, lips brushing him with every word. He immediately follows it up with a chaste kiss. His lips press against Harry’s flesh, opening slowly as he licks out to taste him, lips puckering when he gives Harry’s neck a gentle suck. He keeps it up, working a mottled mark into Harry’s skin, before sinking his teeth in just a bit. It’s just enough pressure to feel like a bite without causing much pain.

“Holy shit,” Harry breathes, cradling the back of Louis’ head with one hand to hold him there. Louis knows.

Louis grazes Harry’s skin, closing the bite carefully, making sure not to hurt Harry. And then he moves and does it again causing Harry’s breath catch.

“Okay,” Harry concedes. “I get it. God, do I get it.”

“Good,” Louis grins, pulling back. “Show me.” He angles his neck, offering Harry the unbitten side.

Harry bites his own lip, eyeing Louis’ unmarred skin hesitantly.

Louis cradles Harry’s jaw in one hand. “I trust you, H,” he tells him, gently urging him forward.

Harry lets Louis pull him closer. He follows Louis’ example, pressing his lips against Louis’ flesh in a tender kiss, opening to swipe his tongue over the spot before he closes his lips over the area, sucking delicately.

Louis’ hands fist in Harry’s hair. “Yeah, like that,” He murmurs brokenly. The reassurance must give Harry some sense of confidence because he sucks a bit harder, making Louis writhe against him. “H,” Louis breathes. “Do it.”

He does. Harry’s teeth press in with the perfect pressure and Louis moans in ecstasy. “God, yeah. So good, Harry.”

Harry keeps going, bruising up Louis’ neck beneath his lips. Louis mewls pulling away abruptly to tug at Harry’s shirt.

“Off,” He insists. “Off, right now.”

Harry laughs, seeming delighted that he’s affected Louis’ powers of speech, sitting up to help Louis pull his shirt over his head. He should probably be embarrassed when Louis does it with ease but Louis thinks they’re both too far gone for embarrassment at this point.

The minute Harry’s torso is uncovered, Louis repositions so that he can get at those pink, pebbled nipples, sucking one into his mouth immediately.

“Shit,” Harry huffs, watching Louis go to work on the little nub. “Can we get to the actual fucking, now? Really wanna fuck you, Lou.”

Louis couldn’t say what those words do to him. They make him electric. They fill him with need. They make him see galaxies behind his eyelids. There are so many feelings and not enough words in the universe to cover them. Louis pulls himself from Harry’s chest and gazes into his best friend’s eyes. “You gonna fuck me good, Harry?”

Harry fishmouths. “I mean, I’m gonna try but—” He stops immediately when Louis’ fingertips cover his mouth and Louis shakes his head at him.

“Rule number three, Harry. Confidence is key,” Louis tells him, taking his hand from Harry’s lips and giving him a quick peck to soften the criticism. Which… he maybe shouldn’t have done he realizes when Harry looks confused.

“What was rule number two?” Harry asks, and Louis feels a deep relief that his kiss wasn’t the cause of the confusion.

“No vampire impressions,” Louis smirks, nipping playfully at Harry’s nipple.

“Hey,” Harry protests, quickly moving to cover his nipples with both hands. “Now who’s breaking the rules?”

“No one, darling,” Louis tells him, moving back up his body, hand sliding to grasp the back of Harry’s neck. “If I was, that would have hurt.”

“Maybe it did,” Harry banters, wrapping his arms around Louis once more. “Maybe you need to apologize.”

“Aww, did I hurt you, Hazza?” Louis pouts sexily, straightening just enough to kiss Harry’s lips again in apology. Truthfully, Louis will take any excuse to kiss him again. “I’m sorry.”

“N-no,” Harry admits, kissing him again. Maybe this 'kissing just for the sake of it' thing is mutual. Louis’ heart skips. “I kinda like it.”

“When it hurts?” Louis checks, tangling his fingers in Harry’s hair and giving it a little tug.

“Nnngh,” Harry holds back a moan. “Yeah.”

“Hmmm,” Louis hums, studying the boy beneath him. “I have a theory, but finding out if I’m right is gonna mean changing our tactics.”

“Change how?” Harry asks, blinking up at him in confusion.

 “Well, we’re gonna concentrate on one area at a time,” Louis informs him, running his fingers repeatedly through Harry’s hair because he knows he loves that too. He leans down to whisper in his ear, “but you only get to come if you’re a very, very good boy.”

 Harry whines in the back of his throat, hands gripping Louis’ waist tightly. He’s probably leaving bruises from his fingertips but this is a bit of pain that Louis doesn’t mind. “Okay,” Harry agrees breathlessly. “Let’s do it.”

“Alright,” Louis says, backing off of Harry and sitting at the opposite end of the sofa despite Harry’s noises of protest. He feels powerful when he sees how needy Harry is for him, practically chasing Louis as he moves.

 What do you want me to do?” Harry asks, eager for it. He’s virtually gagging for Louis’ body.

“Show me how you can work a cock, baby,” Louis orders and Harry’s hands are on his jeans, unfastening them almost before Louis’ done giving him instructions.

Harry’s hand is warm against Louis’ skin, big enough to nearly engulf Louis’ dick in its grasp. Louis is totally ready to enjoy this but Harry starts off hard and fast, causing Louis to stop him immediately. His dick is too dry for that kind of treatment.

“What, I suck at this too?” Harry asks incredulously when Louis’ hand covers his and stills him.

“Unless your objective is to pull my dick off,” Louis answers with a wince.

“Well, how should I…?”

“Lube might help,” Louis shrugs. Honestly, he kind of wants to show Harry by getting his hands on him but given that Harry likes a little pain, he’s not sure if the lesson would stick.

“Well, why don’t I blow you?” Harry offers, desperate to redeem himself. “I know I can give decent head.”

“Yeah, okay,” Louis agrees. “Go for it.” He’s a little desperate for Harry to get something right, too. He hates the thought of making Harry feel worse about his sexual prowess. Louis doesn’t want to be another Logan.

Harry dives to the floor and situates himself between Louis’ legs, kneeling before him. He yanks down Louis’ jeans and swallows him down like it’s a matter of life and death. Perhaps it will be the death of Louis.

God,” he gasps, nearly choking at the sudden wet heat around him. Harry hums, looking up at Louis with mirth-filled eyes. It’s an ‘I told you so’, if Louis’ ever seen one. Unfortunately, it’s given a little too soon.

“Ouch! Fuck, H,” Louis grits out, pulling Harry’s head away from him instinctually when Harry’s teeth graze him as he lifts off. “I thought we said vampires in the bedroom are not sexy.”

“I think vampires are sexy,” Harry grumbles, sitting back on his knees and crossing his arms over his chest. His face has gone cloudy at being interrupted again, mouth drawn into a frown. He’s obviously in a strop and Louis doesn’t think he’s ever looked cuter.

“Obviously, you do,” Louis says softly, reaching out to pet Harry’s hair. “That’s the kind of thing you’re into. But you have to think about what your partner likes, babe.”

Harry bites his lip, eyes on the floor. He’s not done being moody but it’s clear to Louis that Harry is considering his words.

“Well, what do you like?” Harry asks finally.

Louis reaches down to help him up onto the sofa again. “I could show you?” He offers.

Harry nods quickly and Louis thinks he might be relieved to have some of the pressure off of him. Hopefully, this will relax him even more, Louis thinks as he unfastens Harry’s jeans and works them down his hips and thighs.

“Here, let me,” Harry says, gently pushing Louis out of the way in order to kick them off completely and sit back down. Is it possible to look both smug and embarrassed? Because Louis thinks that’s the look that Harry is somehow managing.

Louis grins, pulling down Harry’s pants so that his cock, fully hard and already leaking a bit, hits the open air. He wastes no time, moving to kneel on the floor between Harry’s knees, and takes him into his mouth.

“Mmm,” he hums, hardly believing that he’s here as he works his tongue over Harry’s length, holding in his fist the part that doesn’t fit in his mouth. He dives down, taking as much as he can and slowly rises back up, sucking extra hard at the head. His fist pumps as his mouth works and soon Harry is tugging at his hair.

 “I’m gonna…” He gasps. “I’m gonna come, Lou.”

 Louis doesn’t lift off, sucking Harry to completion, staring up at him as he does so that he doesn’t miss the look of ecstasy on Harry’s face.

 “You’re right,” Harry admits. “No teeth is better.”

Louis chuckles as he wipes his lips. “I’m always, right.”

“Can’t fuck you now though,” Harry pouts a bit but it doesn’t have the desired effect. He’s too fucked out to look anything less than blissful.

Louis bites his lip. “I mean, we could always do it another time. After all, you need to keep practicing to get really good.”

He’s offering something here, some piece of himself. He’s offering it to Harry on a silver platter and his heart is thundering in his chest as he does so.

“Yeah,” Harry grins, pulling Louis up onto the sofa to cuddle into his side. He throws an arm over Louis’ shoulder, idly using the other hand to tuck himself back into his briefs.  “I like the sound of that.”

Louis grins, hiding his face in Harry’s shoulder.

"Hey, Lou?” Harry calls for his attention quietly.

Louis looks up to see Harry already staring back at him, a tender look of affection in his eyes. “Yeah?”

“Logan also said I was a really terrible boyfriend.”

“Really?” Louis asks, not believing it for a second, not with the way Harry is fighting a smile. Maybe Harry is offering something too. “I guess maybe you should practice that as well.”

 “Yeah,” Harry agrees with a casual nod, turning his head to face Louis. “Want to be my practice partner?”

 “God, yes,” Louis smiles as Harry tugs him into a kiss.