At the start of puberty, she discovered the power of her own tits. It wasn’t sudden, this realisation. However, it made nothing easier, only harder.
She couldn’t disappear now. The second someone noticed her, it meant she was real. She’d have to interact with the shapes, and try not to stay silent like all those months beforehand.
She would cry, because as long as she was stuck there, she couldn’t let go, either.
She couldn’t stand to be dead. She couldn’t stand not being able to feel herself fly.
He took so much crap; some it of he didn’t recognise.
There was a list inside his head of all the faces he’d learnt in his sessions. He’d watch the people’s faces in front of him and mentally go through the checklist. The problem with that was by the time he’d worked out what their face meant, it would have changed. Either that, or the face wasn’t something he knew. He never knew what Effy’s face meant. Not really.
He liked things simple: tits and fanny. His cock somewhere in the mix. Fun; good fun. When he met Effy, that changed, and he suddenly wanted to bring her down to Earth, to trap her somewhere all for himself and never let her go. Inside, he knew the caged bird that she was wouldn’t survive with him. But she stole his heart, so what else was he meant to do?
He saw his sister in her. Running around and doing her own thing, and playing games, and yet he loved her. He loved her more than anything else, which was why he had to smash his fist into something or scrape the skin of his elbows off at the thought of her. Katie was pretty, but she wasn’t Effy. He hated the way Effy would just look at him like he had no clue, and that she knew everything about him, and he didn’t know her at all, and yet he loved her. How trivial.
He sees a reflection of himself two years ago in Effy. The manipulation and the mindless fucking was his entire plan originally, until that fucking bus bowled him over, and she started talking again. Her speech was probably the most rewarding part of his accident, apart from the complete personality change. He left her, because he couldn’t stand being around Bristol anymore. Effy shouldn’t have taken it so personally, because really, Tony hadn’t changed at all. He was still as selfish as ever.
She chain smokes like a chain of thought. Every new feeling, a new cigarette, and now she doesn’t even notice her own fingers retrieve a new one to light up. She forgets she can’t smoke everywhere, because it’s like a dummy permanently in her mouth. It’s her security blanket that she knows will eventually kill her, much like sex.