Jungkook doesn't get jealous.
There are plenty of reasons why someone else might. Broken promises, unrequited crushes, seeing ex-lovers with someone new… But not him. Jungkook knows better. Such worthless, petty feelings would serve no purpose and he's used to being in control, never missing a beat, never letting anything get to him. Jungkook likes to think he's the logical type and no matter the circumstances, jealousy would be quite the opposite of the rational thinking on which he rather prides himself.
So, yes. Jungkook isn't jealous. That's what he tells himself, at least.
He definitely doesn't feel a sharp twinge of something stabbing pointedly at his heart each time he catches the way Hoseok's hand brushes Taehyung's shoulders, or he hears the vague sounds of the two of them laughing, talking animatedly. He definitely doesn't feel like punching something or someone when he sees Hoseok's hand on the small of Taehyung's back, the way he leans in close to whisper something in Taehyung's ear that no one else is meant to hear. He also definitely doesn't keep glaring in their direction, unable to focus on anything else but their overbearing presence across the room, weighing down on him in an almost palpable way.
Jungkook would never imagine doing anything so ridiculous- and yet if someone were to come over and ask what he's doing, sitting by the drinks and downing several of them in one go all the while glowering and conversing with no one, Jungkook wouldn't have an answer for them.
It's stupid, and he knows it, which only makes matters worse.
But had Jungkook known this would have happened when Taehyung invited him to this party, all smiles and assurances of a good time, there's no way he would have accepted, no matter how much Taehyung had begged him.
It's not that Jungkook expected anything else. He isn't blind. He has seen how friendly Taehyung is to everyone, how accommodating and kind and sweet he is regardless to whom he's speaking, and he knows that Taehyung has no reason to see him as anything special. He simply invited Jungkook out of common courtesy, the same he would do for any of his friends. There's no way he singled out Jungkook, not when Jungkook is the boring kid who sits at the back of the room and doesn't really bother making friends or socializing, who holds no appeal whatsoever other than the fact that his grades are slightly above average. When it comes down to it, Jungkook is honestly lucky enough to even be able to say that Taehyung pays him any mind at all.
So of course Taehyung is spending time with Hoseok, a close friend he hasn't seen in a while. Of course Taehyung wouldn't spend the whole party at Jungkook's side, that would be an asinine request and completely absurd considering how many people who are present that are acquainted with Taehyung in some way. Of course anyone in their right mind would want to be around someone like Taehyung, who lights up any room he enters as if he's the sun himself, bright and shining… Dazzling. Hoseok has every right to cling and hang off the other boy in ways Jungkook has only dreamed of doing, because who in their right mind would be able to resist?
But even knowing all this, there's still the smallest part of Jungkook (which may not be so small, now that he thinks about it) that he had mistakenly allowed to hope. Hope for what, he isn't entirely sure. Maybe he tried to read something that wasn't there, something in the way Taehyung's smile had seemed so genuine, as if he really and truly wanted to take Jungkook alone to this party, and the flash of relief in the depths of his eyes when Jungkook had accepted. Maybe he misunderstood the way Taehyung had shown up early to his dorm room, waited patiently while he finished getting ready and offhandedly commented that Jungkook looked good when they were on the way to the party, his cheeks tinged an odd pink that Jungkook couldn't explain.
That must be it, right? There's no way Taehyung meant anything by any of it.
Damn it. Damn this party. Damn Kim Taehyung for this stupid mess he's in. Jungkook picks up a fourth drink and downs it in a single gulp, wiping his mouth on his sleeve before tossing the cup haphazardly into the trash. He decided not to question whether or not the liquid is alcoholic before he started drinking but the fuzziness that's starting to infringe on his thoughts makes him think it most likely was.
Whatever. It doesn't matter. He should just go home.
However, just as that thought crosses his mind, Taehyung is moving back in his direction, waving a goodbye to a grinning Hoseok, who quickly disappears into another room, and then jogging the rest of the way to where Jungkook sits. There's a sudden disconnect, the visual now gone, that causes an uncomfortable knot to form in Jungkook's stomach. The immediate cause of his frustration is physically no longer present but the feeling still lingers with no concrete outlet, no way for Jungkook to dispel the tension that claws at his chest.
Taehyung reaches him in seconds, a soft smile on his smooth lips. "Sorry about that. Me and Hoseok had a lot to catch up on," he says.
Jungkook briefly wonders just what they had been talking about, but then he remembers how close they had been, how Taehyung could have probably felt Hoseok's breath on his cheek as they held each other, and the curiosity is banished beneath a wave of disinterest. "Doesn't matter," he replies stiffly, shifting slightly away from Taehyung. "You're not obligated to stay here with me."
"Hey, are you alright?" Taehyung asks, the concern lacing his voice sending an abrupt.jab of guilt right to Jungkook's heart. "From where I was standing, I thought you looked kind of upset."
… Had he been that obvious? Jungkook resists the urge to grimace.
"Nothing's wrong," he says. He's unable to meet Taehyung's gaze and focuses on his feet. "Nothing at all."
The fact that Taehyung is worried about him proves even more that Jungkook is a fool, one who is allowing himself too easily to be swayed by pitiful emotions and who takes for granted the things he already has. So much for being logical... Tell him everything is fine, he instructs himself. Don't ruin the perfectly acceptable friendship Taehyung is offering. A 'thank you' will suffice.
"I think I need to leave," he says instead.
Stupid, Jungkook berates himself. So stupid. He can't even do one thing right.
"Are you not feeling well? You're not sick, are you?"
Abruptly, Taehyung reaches out. His fingers are cool against Jungkook's forehead, searching and gentle, and Jungkook feels as if his heart has dropped into his stomach, which is now coursing with the fluttering of a thousand butterflies as Taehyung checks his temperature. It's as if his brain has short circuited and he can't even react, frozen in place, unable to think or speak while his face heats up and his cheeks fill with color.
God, Taehyung smells nice. Even through the musk of the party he can still clearly pick out the scent of Taehyung's cologne, wafting around him in an intoxicating way. Jungkook unwittingly starts to lean forward, drawn in by everything. Taehyung's face is close, his bright eyes reflecting the low light in the room and glowing inexplicably, and his gorgeous lips are pursed in thought as he attempts to determine if Jungkook has a fever. Too cute… He's always too cute, always well-dressed, always making Jungkook fall farther and farther. It should be illegal for anyone to be as perfect as Kim Taehyung. And if Jungkook leans in just a little more, maybe he could-
Wait. His brain finally catches up with his actions and all at once he recoils from Taehyung's hand as if he had been burned. The butterflies have all settled, now putting a sinking feeling in the pit of his gut and his mind is racing, a jumbled mess of self hate and regret. Selfish. Cruel. How did Jungkook almost let himself give in?
Taehyung is blinking wide-eyed at him, mouth opening and closing a few times, but before he can say anything Jungkook is hurrying away, pushing past crowds of people until he's out the door.
This was a horrible idea. Jungkook never should have come. He's such an idiot.
Jungkook has only gone a few blocks when he hears his name being called. He attempts to ignore it but seconds later, a hand is grasping onto his sweater and he's forced to stop in his tracks. His heart is pounding and his head hurts, a dull throb resonating around his skull.
He knows it's Taehyung so he doesn't bother looking up.
"Jungkook, what the hell?" Taehyung's voice isn't accusing or angry but he's clearly confused. His fingers tighten around the fabric of Jungkook's sweater. "What was that about?"
Jungkook tries to come up with something, anything. He should try to brush it off, give some excuse and let it go. But the words are lodged in his throat and all he says is, "... I don't know."
"Did I do something? Was it something I said?" Jungkook wishes he would stop with that. The guilt is eating away at him because it's both Taehyung's fault and it's not. His mind wants to blame Taehyung, wants all this to fall on someone else's shoulders, but Taehyung never did anything wrong. In the end, the only one to blame is Jungkook and he knows it.
"You and Hoseok…" He finally says quietly. "You guys looked like you were having a good time." Shut up, Jungkook thinks. Stop talking. This isn't what he's supposed to say.
"Hoseok?" Taehyung repeats.
"You were standing so close to him, and laughing, and smiling… I don't know. I couldn't stand it." Like a broken dam, the words fall out of his mouth despite his best efforts to keep quiet. "I hated watching the two of you like that because I kept thinking I wished it was me but I already know I don't stand a chance so I was mad at myself and projecting that onto Hoseok when I should have just accepted it instead of wanting to force you two apart in the middle of that goddamn party."
"And here I am being an asshole when you've been nothing but kind to me all this time and I don't even deserve it. I'm an idiot-"
"Wait, Jungkook," Taehyung cuts off his rant, as realization has just dawned on him. "Were you… jealous?"
"No!" Jungkook denies the accusation so quickly that he almost feels the whiplash, his gaze at last meeting Taehyung's, who is looking at him with an unreadable expression. Perhaps Jungkook is a little more drunk than he thought. "Yes… Maybe?" His face is reddening again, heat spreading down his neck, and he swallows hard. "Hell, I don't know. I just wanted to spend time with you and-"
In one swift motion, Taehyung yanks Jungkook forward, pulling forcefully on his sweater, and kisses him.
At first, Jungkook barely knows how to react. He doesn't even recognize what's happening, his thoughts moving in slow motion while he tries to process the sensation of Taehyung's mouth on his. And then it hits him- Kim Taehyung is kissing him-and his heart painfully skips several beats before kicking into overdrive. He immediately melts against Taehyung, wrapping his arms around Taehyung's waist and clinging to him, eagerly kissing him back. He tastes like strawberry and mint, with an underlying hint of something alcoholic, and Jungkook can't hold back as he swipes his tongue along Taehyung's bottom lip. He both feels and hears Taehyung laugh into his mouth.
One of Taehyung's hands rests on Jungkook's hip and the other comes up to the nape of Jungkook's neck, fingers combing through Jungkook's hair and sending shivers down his spine. This… This is certainly something Jungkook never would have expected. Not that he's complaining, of course. It sure as hell beats pining after Taehyung at some lame party, and kissing Taehyung for real is so much better than he ever could have imagined. As Taehyung coaxes his lips apart and his tongue slides into Jungkook's mouth, Jungkook forgets how to think and loses himself in Taehyung entirely.
When they finally pull back, they're both panting, lips swollen and cheeks flushed. Taehyung is grinning, that same lopsided grin that always makes Jungkook feel weak in the knees. "Why..?" He asks, breath coming out in a small puff against Taehyung's cheek. "Why did you…?" Taehyung brushes his nose against Jungkook's, the action causing Jungkook's stomach to do somersaults, and then he laughs, the sound light and tinkling.
"Why do you think, Jungkook? I like you," Taehyung says plainly, as if it should have been the most obvious thing in the world. Jungkook blinks at him.
"You… But I…" Is that even possible? The words echo in Jungkook's mind, dancing behind his eyelids while he stares at the soft, affectionate face Taehyung is giving him. His eyes are crescents, sparkling and warm, and his rosy cheeks glow in the evening light.
"Hoseok has a boyfriend already. And besides, he knows I've always liked you. That's why he teases me so much."
"A-always?" Jungkook squeaks.
Taehyung nods, grin widening. "I couldn't decide when to confess, which Hoseok was relentlessly trying to convince me to do, because I wasn't sure how you felt. But that doesn't matter anymore, since you've saved me the trouble. Let me say it again anyway, though. I like you, Jungkook. I like you a lot."
Jungkook suddenly feels very silly. "I… I like you, too," he grumbles, attempting to hide his face in Taehyung's shoulder while Taehyung laughs at him. "Guess I was.. jealous for no reason, huh…" He always knew that jealousy was a pointless thing. He should have listened to his own advice.
"I thought it was cute," Taehyung says fondly.
Jungkook thinks he need to readjust his earlier statement. Jungkook may have been jealous in the past, but he definitely won't be jealous from now on.
Especially not now that he's walking home hand-in-hand with Taehyung.