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Space Gays

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Princess Yaoyorozu chose a restaurant that Jirou knew she couldn’t afford, but for one afternoon alone with her, Jirou was sure the crippling debt would be worth it.

“Your highness, I’m very sorry about the behaviour of Bakugou and his friends, especially Bakugou himself, and Ashido and Kaminari, they’re relatively harmless and almost decent people when you get to know them, I promise,” Jirou swore.

“Miss Jirou, it’s alright,” the princess said and placed a comforting hand over Jirou’s across the table which made the nebriian girl’s pulse come to a halt for only a second, “although I’ll admit that I was a little offset by their advances, I’m not offended, and I still want to spend this time with you.”

“You-your words flatter me too greatly, princess,” Jirou said, nervously ducking her head and gently twirling one antennae around her finger.

“Please, call me Yaomomo,” Yaoyorozu requested.

“Yaomomo?” Jirou repeated.

“Do you like it? I’ve been trying to come up with a nickname that would suit me since I was a little girl, I just haven’t had much of a chance for many people to use it before,” the princess confessed with a quiet chuckle.

“I love it!” Jirou decided, “it’s adorable, it suits you perfectly!”

“Do you really think so?”

“Yes! And you can call me Kyouka if you want,” Jirou suggested, “I don’t have a nickname, unless you count Bakugou calling me ‘Ears’, but if you want you can use my first name!”

Yaoyorozu smiled that billion dollar smile of hers, “thank you, I would like that, Kyouka, you’re actually going to be the first person to use that nickname, though, I did try to convince a close friend of mine to use it before, but he isn’t really the nickname type.”

“A friend?” Jirou wondered, she thought she might have seen something in Yaoyorozu’s face when she mentioned this ‘friend’ of hers, “are you um, close with him?”

“I thought we were, he’s the prince of another planet, I guess I would have called him my best friend once, but we’ve fallen out of contact lately, the last time I heard from him was barely more than a paragraph after years of silence an then he disappeared again,” Yaoyorozu confessed.

“No warning or anything? He just up and stopped talking to you?” Jirou asked.

Yaoyorozu nodded, “I don’t know what happened, he just disappeared one day, he doesn’t answer my calls or my letters, I don’t know if I did something wrong or if he just got sick of me but… oh, I’m sorry, I’m sure you don’t want to be hearing about my silly problems”

“No, I don’t mind at all, but, no offence intended, this friend of yours sounds like a bit of an asshole,” Jirou said.


“You see, this is why I can’t stand guys, I mean, who would ever want to stop talking to someone like you? And not saying anything to explain himself? I’m sorry, but that’s a total dick move,” Jirou explained.

“I’m sure he had his reasons,” Yaomomo insisted.

“I don’t care what his reasons were, abandoning you without saying anything? Not even a breakup text? If I met this ‘friend’ of yours, I would be all too happy to punch him in the damn face and give him a piece of my mind, hurting a beautiful girl’s feelings is the worst thing a man can do, no, forget ‘man’, I would be willing to fight anyone who made you upset,” Jirou said.

Yaoyorozu stared for a moment, then she began to giggle. It was a timid laugh hidden behind her hand and mainly expressed through the shuddering of her shoulders. It was beautiful.

“I-I’m sorry, your highness, I got a little carried away,” Jirou hunched her shoulders in embarrassment.

“Please, I told you to call me Yaomomo, it’s alright, I’m actually glad that you could let down your guard a little and talk to me so familiarly,” Yaoyorozu confessed.

“Still, I shouldn’t have insulted your friend like that, I don’t even know him.”

“It’s fine, although I wouldn’t recommend fighting him, he’s one of the most capable fighters I’ve ever met.”

“I would be willing to try,” Jirou said.

“Please don’t, I don’t want my date and my friend to fight,” Yaoyorozu said.

“D-date?” Jirou echoed.

“Of course, I wouldn’t be treating just any girl to a place like this,” Yaoyorozu pointed out.

“But- I- you really don’t have to treat me Yaomomo,” Jirou insisted.

“I won’t stand for it,” the princess insisted, “please, your company and wit are more than enough to repay me.”

“But what about your friend?”

“What about him? I’ll admit that we did date for a month or so when we were younger, but we broke up when we both came to terms with our homosexuality ages ago.”

Jirou scowled at the flaming antennae cutting off the circulation in her finger, “I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions, but still, if you’ll excuse me asking your- I mean, Yaomomo, it isn’t that I doubt your judgement or anything, but why me?”

“I think it’s because I liked the way you looked at me for the very first time,” the princess hummed.

“How did I look at you?” Jirou asked.

“It was like you weren’t looking at me as ‘princess Yaoyorozu Momo, heir to Creati the most powerful planet in the intergalactic coalition’ but just as the ‘Yaomomo’ that I always wanted to be, and like that was enough to be worth something,” Yaoyorozu explained, “and if you could make me feel like that with just the first look, how could I resist when your friend gave me the perfect opportunity to ask you on a date? Not to mention, a beautiful girl who shoots at a boy threatening to flirt with her is incredibly attractive.”

“I-I do think of you that way!” Jirou quickly announced, “princess or no princess, you’re the smartest, most beautiful, most incredible girl that I’ve ever laid eyes on in all my life!”

“And why do you say that?” Yaoyorozu asked.

“Why? Because everything about you is just so amazing! From the moment you first stepped off your ship you were practically glowing with elegance and you managed put Bakugou in his place a couple of times, that takes both guts and wit, and have you seen the way that you smile?” Jirou wondered.

Yaoyorozu giggled sheepishly at the barrage of compliments, “I’m afraid that I haven’t."

“It’s the most beautiful thing in the entire universe,” Jirou said.

There was that trillion dollar smile again, “I’m actually kind of amazed that you could come up with more than just ‘beautiful’.”

“I could keep going if you wanted me to.”

“Please don’t! I would feel bad if we just talked about me this whole time, tell me something about yourself,” the princess suggested.

“Me? I don’t know about that, I work in an office, my life isn’t exactly a thrill,” Jirou confessed.

“I’m sure that can’t be true, I’ve met your friends, remember? To be a part of such a colourful group, you must have some entertaining stories about yourself too,” Yaoyorozu insisted.

“Well, what do you want to know?” Jirou asked.

“I don’t know, tell me how you started working here?” Yaoyorozu decided.

“Oh jeez, do you really want to hear that story? Kaminari’s in it, a lot,” Jirou warned.

“All the better, tell me everything,” Yaoyorozu demanded, leaning forwards on her elbows with interest.

It wasn’t really that interesting of a story. Just a fun little tale about a couple of kids dreaming about space. She worked hard, she went to a good school, she got an internship at the guild which led to a job and she settled. Her office lifestyle might not be as exciting as she had planned when she was younger, but it was stable, and she was happy. Although sometimes she had to admit she got jealous of Kaminari for living the bounty-hunter life they had always dreamed of. Yaomomo hung off of every word like she was a young child being told the single greatest bedtime story in existence.

The waiter came, then their food came, then dessert and the two of them kept talking. Yaoyorozu liked books. Jirou liked music. Yaoyorozu didn’t like tomatoes. Jirou had some very passionate opinions on the colour orange. Yaoyorozu wanted to see her again, Jirou would pay for the next date.


“What are they talking about?”

“Shut up! I can’t hear them!"

“Ow! Watch it! That’s my foot!”

“Okay, I know that she said my name that time!”

From another table not too far off, behind a wall of menus most of the Explodokills crew was trying to be stealthy. Bakugou had told them that it was stupid and gone to deal with their attacker situation by himself when Ashido tried to drag him along. So the four of them peered at the pair of happily chattering girls from behind their menus, which they had looked at for about five seconds before Kaminari burst into tears upon seeing so many numbers. They ordered four glasses of water and breadsticks, which was enough to leave all four of them half-bankrupt.

“I can’t believe that Jirou’s getting a girlfriend before I get a boyfriend,” Kirishima lamented, tearing apart and playing with the breadstick in his hand because he couldn’t actually eat it..

“And I can’t believe she’s getting a girlfriend before I do! Now shut up! You’re messing up my spying!” Ashido ordered.

“I can believe it,” Kaminari said, Ashido smacked him upside the head with a loud shush.

“Guys, she’s going to hear you,” Sero warned.

“Only if you keep talking!” Ashido snapped.

“Seriously! I mean, I’m happy for her and she deserves this and all but what the hell! She’s known this girl for less than a day and she’s got a date! I’ve known Bakugou for three years now and he barely knows my name!” Kirishima whined.

“I think we’ve lost him, he’s gone full gay on us,” Kaminari said, snapping his fingers next to his friend’s head. Kirishima just kept shredding the breadstick.

“Yeah, that might be an issue with your taste in men,” Sero observed.

“Hey, Bakugou’s a great guy, he’s so manly and tough and cool and attractive and smart and talented, he would be perfect if he wasn’t so damn hard to approach!” Kirishima groaned.

“If nothing else I’ll confirm that he’s attractive,” Kaminari said.

“When he doesn’t look like he’s ready to tear your throat out he is,” Sero added.

“True,” Kaminari agreed.

“And he is technically smart, and tough,” Sero pointed out.

“Yeah, I guess so, damn, Kirishima, you might be on to something, if you can ignore his personality, Bakugou is kind of the perfect dream guy,” Kaminari realized.

“Back off, I called dibs before you even met him,” Kirishima scowled.

“Dude, do you honestly think that I could date a guy like Bakugou?” Kaminari asked.

“No one can date a guy like Bakugou! He is literally impossible to ask out!”

“Have you considered maybe just asking him out?”

“I’m sorry, did I ask for your sass?”

“Guys, shut up, I’m trying to listen!” Ashido hissed.

“Why does getting a boyfriend have to be so hard?” Kirishima wondered, throwing a sad handful of expensive breadstick confetti at his friend sitting across the table.

“Come on, it is not that hard, you’re just making it difficult for yourself, if you just asked him out I guarantee that he would say yes,” Kaminari said, beginning to eat the crumbled breadstick remains without missing a beat.

“Oh yeah? Well if you’re such an expert then how come you don’t have a boyfriend?” Kirishima challenged.

“I could get a boyfriend whenever I wanted to!” Kaminari announced.

“Oh yeah?”


“Prove it.”

“Fine! I will!” Kaminari abandoned the breadcrumbs and turned to the boy sitting next to him, “hey, Sero?”

“Yeah?” Sero said.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?” Kaminari asked.

Sero shrugged, “sure.”

“Nice,” the two of them fist-bumped to make it official and then Sero threw an arm around his new boyfriend’s shoulder, while Kaminari smugly reported, “I just got a boyfriend.”

“That doesn’t count!” Kirishima groaned.

Kaminari fake-gasped, “I cannot believe that my best bro does not believe that my boyfriend is the real deal, babe, can you believe this?”

“How could you Kirishima, we are deeply committed to each other,” Sero said and he quickly pecked a kiss on Kaminari’s cheek to prove it.

“My boyfriend,” Kaminari said, and he maintained a straight face up to the count of three before his face broke out into a grin, his antennae began to glow and he emitted a high pitched sound like a kettle boiling.

“Congratulations, you’ve created the dumbest couple in the galaxy, now shut up so I can hear the date!” Ashido ordered.

“Great, even Kaminari found someone to put up with him! I’m going to die a sad lonely gay, aren’t I?” Kirishima mourned.

“Okay, that’s a big mood, but shut the fuck up!” Ashido snapped.

“What’s that supposed to mean? ‘Even Kaminari’!” Kaminari demanded.

“It’s alright, I still love you,” Sero said.

“Aw, thanks babe,” Kaminari grinned.

“Can you two not? I’m trying to watch Jirou’s date, not whatever the fuck is going on with you two!” Ashido snapped.

“Oh, Ashido! They’re standing up to leave!” Sero pointed out.

“What?” Ashido shrieked.

“Shh!” Kaminari whispered.

“Shut up, come on! After them!” Ashido ordered and led the rest of her team through the corridors.

They watched and strained to hear as Jirou and Yaoyorozu kept talking animatedly all the way until they reached the ship. The shorter girl was shy in delivering a light farewell kiss to on the princess’ knuckles, which the princess returned with a kiss on her cheek, and then she was gone.

Jirou turned around with a lovestruck sigh to witness her friends all failing to hide behind the same plant. But her smile hardly flickered.

“What are you idiots doing back there?” She asked.

“Uh, definitely not spying on your date?” Ashido said, rising to her feet and brushing the dust off her knees.

“How did it go? Is she your girlfriend now?” Kaminari wondered.

“It went really well, we talked about ourselves and I think we really hit it off, we haven’t decided if we’re going to officially ‘date’ yet, but her ship doesn’t leave for a couple more days, so I’m taking her out again tomorrow evening,” Jirou confessed with a smile smile while she twisted her shining antennae around her finger.

“Fuck yeah! That means technically I got a boyfriend before Jirou got a girlfriend!” Kaminari cheered.

“You did what?”

Sero placed his chin on top of Kaminari’s head and dangled his arms around his new boyfriend’s shoulders to hug him from behind, “it’s super serious,” he reported.

“I think that might be the worst news I’ve ever heard in my entire life,” Jirou said.

“You’re just jealous because you technically still don’t have a girlfriend,” Kaminari taunted.

“Maybe she isn’t my girlfriend yet, but I’m dating a princess, why would I be jealous of you?” Jirou wondered.

“Damn, she’s got you there,” Sero said.

“Babe, don’t side with the enemy!”

“Sorry Kami.” Sero delivered a kiss to the top of Kaminari’s head to make up for his betrayal.

“I’m still lonely, just in case you were wondering,” Kirishima announced.

“Ignore them, they aren’t being serious, well, except for Kirishima, he’s actually still single,” Ashido said, waving her friends off when they began to sputter protests, “now tell me exactly what happened in excruciating detail! It was so hard to hear you over these idiots.”

Jirou sighed into her hand, there was no way she was going to shake them without giving them answers, “alright, well, you know how I’m gay, right?”


“Yeah, now I’m super gay, I’m an all new breed of supreme gay, I’ve surpassed Kirishima on the gayness spectrum, however gay Kirishima is for Bakugou is about a tenth of how gay I am for Yaomomo,” Jirou said. The four Explodokills spies were so blown away trying to calculate exactly how gay that would be, they didn’t even notice the people approaching them.

“Damn, that’s gay,” Sero observed,

"It's fake news, since no one can out-gay me, but still, that sounds pretty gay," Kirishima agreed.

Kaminari nodded, clearly impressed, "wow, all hail the queen of the lesbians."

“Are you talking about me, kero?”