Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Karma's point of view
Nagisa. My adorable bluenette. He's always so nice to everyone. Patient. Kind. Accepting. Cunning. Beautiful. Loving. Everything you'd ever need. But he has a more sinister side to him. A side that usually stays locked behind a big door. The only way to open that door however, is bloodlust. The bloodlust side of him on the other hand, can only be described with three words.
Just my type.
Everything about him is so perfect. It's taken me awhile to wrap my head around it, but I had to face the truth eventually. I'm gay. And not just any kind of gay, hella gay. Gay for my best friend, Nagisa Shiota.
But I'd never tell him that of course.
I'd never tell anyone that. They'd probably laugh. Or just simply not understand. Or say mean things about him.
'You aren't gay if you like Nagisa'
'Wait, Nagisa's really a guy?'
'Karma you're in love with this twig?'
But the worst of all would be his reaction. Nagisa's reaction. I have a pretty good feeling on where that would go.
'Karma? Where'd all this come from? Or is this just a joke?'
He'd give me that innocent smile and tell me that my devil horns were showing. He would never love me.
I mean look at me.
I'm a fucking psychopath.
Nagisa's point of view
I've been doing this for a while now. After school, instead of going home, I just do my homework at the public library. It saves me my mother giving me trouble about my grades. And distracting me by making me wear dresses.
Ok. So maybe I kinda lied about the library thing. I actually do my homework with a flashlight in the janitor's closet. The janitor's closet in the library.
Don't judge me please.
At first I did my homework at the library(not in the janitor's closet). But the main campus students would keep on telling me to leave and go steal something the way E-Class kids should. But there was no way in hell I was going home.
After finishing my homework, I just kind of wander around town and get home late. I'd tell my mom that I was studying at the library and lost track of time. Hell, half of that statement isn't even a lie. But today was different. I did my usual routine. Be in the closet by the time the janitor's done with the afternoon cleaning, arrange the mops so that I can hide behind them in case of an attacker, leave by five pm, wander till eight pm, then catch the train with the business people, take the detour through the park and get home nine pm sharp. Just the usual. Right? Wrong.
When I got home my mom dashed out of the kitchen. She looked so mad. Judging by her posture, the heavy breathing, the messed up hair and the crazy eyes, her mood should be-
My thoughts were cut off by my hair being pulled as my entire body was thrown into a wall. She grabbed my now loosened hair again and held me up by it, smashing me repeatedly against the wall, causing everything to go blurry. She then throws me on the ground with only three words escaping her gritted teeth.
"Welcome home, sweetheart."
Nagisa's point of view
After she was done with me, she walked to her room, and I assumed she went to bed. I decided to do the same and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. And look at the damage my mom had caused. Rubbing my head and the roots of the hair she pulled, I had a feeling that this was going to hurt way more by morning. I grabbed my toothbrush and got ready for bed. As I lied there in my bed, the stinging pain in my head got worse.
Tomorrow's going to be awful.
Karma's point of view
Tomorrow was the day. Tomorrow was the day of the confession. The day love will drift through the air, filling it with its sweet scent. Not my love however. Me and Rio pushed Kayano to confess her love to Nagisa tomorrow. It hurts, but I know it's for the best. Nagisa's better off with a sweet girl like Kayano then with a freak like me. As lie there in bed, fantasizing about the love me and Nagisa could have shared, I think to myself.
Tomorrow's going to be awful.
This was the day.
The day everything came crashing down.
Nagisa's point of view
I woke up, the stinging pains from yesterday's beating wracking my body with pain.
As I limp to the bathroom I notice that my mom wasn't home. Which didn't make sense, since we always eat breakfast together. Even so I was relieved.
As I tie my hair up a stinging pain engulfed my head. Rubbing the roots, I realized that I'd be forced to wear my hair down today. And everyone will ask what happened.
I left the house a bit later than usual, and took the later train. I'd still be on time, but a little bit later than I was.
I sat down in my seat, and just zoned out for a while. It feels good to do that sometimes. Just losing complete sense of reality and just drifting away--
"H-Hey, Nagisa?" A familiar voice stuttered.
"Yes Kayano?" I reply, trying my best to not look like I got hit by a bus.
"I-I was just wondering if we could talk privately after school? M-maybe somewhere in the woods or..."
"Sure" I reply, simply trying to get through the day.
Karma's point of view
I give Kayano a thumbs up as she walks back to her seat. I'm trying to be supportive. I really am. But it's difficult to help someone steal your love.
But I couldn't help but notice Nagisa's exhausted expression. The way he gave one word replies to most questions. And last but not least, that I his hair was down. That indicates that he didn't have time to tie it up, or for some other reason. I wonder.
After school I didn't want to go home, so I went into the forest. I followed the path to my favorite rock. It's actually quite comfortable. Sometimes I sit there and ponder random things for hours, other times I do my homework here, or I just stare at the clouds. Whatever I do here, it's just my secret spot. I wouldn't here the end of it if anyone knew about this place.
As I lie there looking up at the gloomy sky, I ponder how rapidly Kayano and Nagisa's relationship would expand. How many kids would they have? What would there wedding look like? Would I be Nagisa's best man? Will he just forget about me?
Tears fill my eyes at the thought of him forgetting about me. I cover my mouth with my arm, containing my sobs as I listen to the leaves rustle. I just sat there and listened to everything. The wind, the birds, my soft sobbing, and voices.
I immediately jump off the rock and sprint into the forest. I hide in some bushes to see who was coming.
As if it couldn't get worse, it did. It was Kayano and Nagisa. I sat there in the bushes. Sobs engulfing my body. And I just listen.
"So Nagisa, I-I wanted t-to tell you s-something important." Kayano's voice squeaked.
"Ok." Was all Nagisa replied with.
"S-So, I always thought that you were a great guy, a-and the way you put yourself in danger to save me and I just well I just-"
Her voice was cut off. The mental image of Kayano being kissed by Nagisa flooded by brain. By tears kept on falling.
"I'm sorry Kayano, but I have a lot on my plate right now. Could this maybe wait for another time?"
At that moment my heart filled with a million emotions. Happiness, confusion, fear, hope. It was all there. I needed time to think. So I got up, and sprinted off without making a single sound.
Nagisa's point of view
After me and Kayano had that talk about whatever she was gonna say I left.
And didn't go home.
Like hell I was going home.
That was a mistake.
I just wandered around town. I ended up in some random place. I didn't bother asking for directions though. This looked like a shady neighborhood.
That was also a mistake.
All I ate today was a granola bar I packed in my bag before I left. I had money on me sure, but I didn't stop to eat.
That was a mistake.
As I wandered aimlessly around town, taking my chances and crossing the empty streets. The roaring sound of rubber on the asphalt rings in my ears.
I kept walking.
That was the biggest mistake of them all.
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
Nagisa's point of view
What just happened?
As I lie there in the street. Bleeding out. Broken bones. Losing consciousness. I look over to watch the truck that just slammed into as it drives on. He didn't notice me. What else is new.
I'm totally gonna die.
Karma's point of view
(A/N Karma lives alone in his own apartment)
I sat there at my desk, looking down at my books, but I obviously wasn't studying.
I was thinking of a game plan.
One to make Nagisa my Nagisa. At least, that's what I really was doing at first but,
So now I'm thinking of other options. The only one I've been able to come up with as of now is getting a girlfriend and getting over Nagisa. It was the only way. And now here I am, going over a list of girls I to date, but nothing much was coming out of it.
There's Okuda, who's nice and all, but I'd probably just use her for my pranks. She isn't quite my type.
There's Nakamura, who's all shits and giggles, enjoys teasing people, fun to be around, we have so much in common. But one of the common traits we share is a love for Nagisa.
But she doesn't love him the way I do. None of them love Nagisa the way I do. None of them will ever have what we have.
So I started thinking some more. Most E-class girls aren't my type, and if it doesn't work out it would just make everything awkward. But what if I found a random girl. A girl who isn't in E-class. Maybe even a girl that doesn't go to Kunugigaoka.
But what kind of girl am I even looking for?
Not the sweet innocent type, that'd remind me of Nagisa.
A bad girl maybe? Where would I pick up one of those? Do I just hang around at night? Walk into every alleyway in the hopes of finding one?
Oh my god.
Who am I kidding. It's not like anyone can read my mind so why am I covering myself in this idea of moving on? I'll never move on. Never would I betray Nagisa.
So why am I thinking about all of this?
It's simple really.
There's this stupid shred of hope that won't leave me. The hope that Nagisa feels the same way. The hope that if I get a girlfriend Nagisa will get jealous. The hope that Nagisa doesn't want anyone else to have me.
The hope that Nagisa loves me.
That stupid fucking hope.
Karma's point of view
I haven't had time for anything or anyone the past three days. I haven't made any attempts at korosensei's life. I haven't talked to anyone either. I don't even recall ever looking into anyone's eyes. I run to school slightly late, maybe then I'd run into some dumb chick with toast in her mouth that is comparable to an actual shoe in the brain cell department.
I leave school right when the bell goes off. No time to hang around or talk to people. I hope none of them are worrying about me. I take the trash out late at night, because the apartment complex I live in makes me drag my trash bags downstairs and throw them in the dumpster outside. Now I'm all for exercise but it stings like a bitch during winter.
The dumpster is also in a shady alleyway, so I might find some delinquents. So far no progress though. All I've found so far are homeless men living in the dumpster, which is really worrying. I've been asked before if they could snack on my trash. My response is an odd look and the trash bag. All I can say is that it belongs on Animal Planet.
So today I'll, once again, hope and pray that old man Joe doesn't want to eat my trash again. Third times the charm right?
As I walk down the stairs, carrying my garbage, and phone, I look through my conversations. I see Nagisa's name flash on screen, and tap on it. It reveals an awkward conversation on the English homework for the day before. The date reveals that it was around five days ago. I haven't spoken to him or texted him since. I haven't seen that adorable face of his in three.
I toss my trash in the dumpster, revealing that Joe wasn't there to eat it.
I pause, enjoying the crisp fall air, and the silence of the night. I observe the graffiti on the walls. A couple gang logos, some odd texts that don't seem to be English, and some art. One of the artworks is a girl with devil horns and wings crying, and an angel comforting her. Is this drawing trying to fuck with my head or something? Because it reminds me of Nagisa. Me, the demon, and Nagisa, the angel. Another artwork is some kind of monster. It's just a huge and green slimy thing, that people have already started to draw more graffiti on. The monsters mouth is open, and some abbreviation is in it. Another gang logo? I sigh, and look through my conversations again. I open the one with Rio, to reveal us talking about operation kayanagisa. And with operation I mean that I need an operation done on my eyes because they burn. I glance over, to see an unstable figure sitting there, curled in a ball. She was sitting in between the wall and a dumpster, her small frame fitting in between it perfectly. She was wearing a black hoodie that was obviously to big for her, her pale fingers barely managing to show, and black jeans with sneakers. Is this it? She seems like an unstable first or second year, that is going through that awkward emo middle school phase. Thank the lord. This must be what I've needed. A cute girl to get Nagisa jealous- I mean help me get over Nagisa. Okay who am I kidding. I crouch down, and attempt small talk.
"Nice evening isn't it?"
"Do you live near here?"
I was about to yell at her until I hear a small sob from her direction. Wait what? She's crying? What do I do?
I gently grab her hands that were might I add ice cold, and attempt to comfort her. Her head looks up slightly, and I'm met by the emptiest red eyes I've ever seen in my lifetime. They immediately look away, her body going back to its original position. I firmly grab her hand, and pull her up off the ground. Her pale skin makes it look like she hasn't eaten in days and her dead eyes resemble mine perfectly. She immediately grabs her hand back and pulls her hood further over her head, and awkwardly looks away and wipes her tears away.
"Are you okay?" I ask, trying not to freak her out or something like that, but attempting to be her friend. She simply looks down, and deepens her frown. She turns to leave, but I immediately block we way. This was a one time offer to get my hands on a girl! No way am I turning that down!
"No way. I'm not gonna let you leave."
She's obviously experiencing a silent panic, cause she's frantically looking around for a way out. She realizes that she's stuck, and I immediately claim my victory and start closing in. It seems as if she was way stronger than I thought, because when I got a good meter away she snapped. She dashed past, knocking me aside causing me to violently hit a dumpster. It somehow managed to rip something, cause I started coughing up blood. I watch her race out of the alleyway and make a sharp turn. I immediately rise to the occasion, and groan a little at the pain in my back. She doesn't seem to be as fast as I am, but she might have the average speed of an E-Class student. I dash out of the alleyway, my pace much quicker than hers, and race after her.
As I watch her run in front of me, I witnessed the absolute horror in her eyes when she turned her head and saw that I was following her. Her crimson eyes dead and broken. I grab her wrist and hold on tightly.
"Stay away from me!" Her small voice squeaking through the silent night.
"Wait what? Why are you mad at me? I'm trying to help you and you just bashed me into a trash can? That really hurts you know!"
"That's why you have to let go of me!"
"Let go of me, please!"
"I said no! I'm trying to help you!"
"It's for your own good so let go!"
"Karma please. Just let go of me."
Chapter 3: Chapter 3
Nagisa's point of view
I ran. And ran. And ran and ran and ran. I couldn't face him. I couldn't face anyone. They would all find out about what I've done. The terrible mess I've made. Before I realize it, I will be far gone. Just like that man told me.
"After three days, your sanity will completely escape from your grasp. You'll lose control and end up killing something, someone, or yourself."
That lunatic! If he knew that something like this would happen, he should have just left me there to die! I can't believe this! I can't believe this is happening to me! I can't! I can't! I can't. I can't. I-
I fell. And couldn't move anymore.
I can't. Do this anymore.
Karma's point of view
As she let go of me, I realized that the girl that was intriguing me wasn't a girl at all. And the boy I was trying to get over was right there. I should be embarrassed for doing something like that and acting way I did, but right now, in this very moment, when it started to rain, and when some of the azure strands started to fall through his hood, his dead red eyes staring right back at me, as if I was looking in a mirror, it felt as if time froze. I could see the rain drops dangling in the air, and everything moved so slowly. So I just stood there. Staring into those red eyes.
Suddenly, almost violently, time started moving again. I let go of Nagisa, the sudden release causing me to fall. As I sat there, on the sidewalk, in the rain, watching him run. But it didn't take anymore that three of his footsteps to completely activate something inside of me. As if it just hit some switch and I became sonic the hedgehog or something. Okay Karma. This isn't the time for memes.
I stand up and start sprinting. Nagisa had a lead, but at this speed it shouldn't take very long. I took off, running down the street and taking the same turn he did. As I sprinted through the street, I started to think. Why did he want me to run away so badly? What did I do to make him so scared of me? Was it the whole 'I'm not gonna let you leave' thing or...
I stopped running when I noticed a small dark figure on the ground. It was Nagisa, asleep. What. How could he be tired enough to collapse and fall asleep in the middle of the street. Nonetheless, I pick him up bridal style, and carry him back to my apartment. As I unlock my door with much difficulty, the familiar scent of my home filling my nostrils as I feel myself relax. I lay Nagisa down on my bed, tucked him in and lied down on the couch with a blanket. I stared up at the ceiling, as thoughts started to swarm my head completely. No, they were more like voices. Voices asking me, as if I had all the answers.
What's with Nagisa?
Why are Nagisa's eyes red instead of the usual pure blue?
I answered them.
How would I know? I'm not Nagisa.
Then let's ask him about it!
They'd insist, pleading for me to get up and wake him up from his adorable slumber.
But it would seem as though that wasn't necessary, because I heard the nob on the door to my room gently turn, and in the doorway stood a Nagisa.
"H-Hey! You're up!"
I stumble, attempting not to provoke him after what I did today. Or, yesterday, I correct myself, looking at the clock as it reveals that it's 3 AM. Nagisa slowly inches towards me, his head hung low and his eyes not even visible.
Suddenly his posture changed. His back was suddenly straight, and his face came into vision. What I saw, was bloodlust. That, wonderful, terrifying bloodlust.
He dashed towards me, his cold eyes staring at me the entire time. Almost as if they were glowing. His hands kept lurching forward, and he seemed as if he just kept on getting faster. It was so unclear to me what he was aiming for. Was he mad or something?
"Look Nagisa I'm r-really sorry and if there's anything I c-can do to help or m-make it up to you p-please tell me!"
I pleaded with him but he just kept on going, not caring about any of his surroundings. I ended up walking so far backwards that I hit the wall.
His blank red eyes wouldn't look away for a mere second, and I felt myself start to quake with fear.
Nagisa's point of view
Where am I?
I looked around this complete void I was in, my surroundings a crimson color. My eyes wander off, attempting to find out where I was and what was going on. I'm pretty sure I'm dreaming, but, I feel scared.
That's when the dream turned to a nightmare. And not just any nightmare where something scary happens that could never occur in real life just kind of freaks you out, but the worst possible nightmare in the entire world.
My memories of the past three days flood the room.
I'm totally gonna die.
Tears fill my eyes as I think of all the things I never got to do. All the things that I never got to see, hear, smell, taste and feel. I've wasted my life away working towards the future that I don't have.
Why? Why on earth do we have to waste our youth away working towards a future that might get cancelled?
As I lay there losing blood, this hooded man stumbles towards me. He had these dead red eyes and was wearing a dirty black sweatshirt.
"Say kid." His gruff voice spoke up, his vocal chords obviously damaged by smoking. "You want to live don't you?"
I attempted a nod, but it hurt too much to move, so I merely squeaked in agony.
"I'll take that as a yes." He commented, grabbing a pocket knife.
He slit is wrist, an merely waited for blood to come out. After that he simply shoved his filthy wrist in my mouth and let the blood trickle in.
"Listen up kid. Cause I'm only goin' to say this once." He scoffed, making serious I contact with me, even though his wrist was still violently placed in my mouth. "You've got to constantly get blood to survive. We don't need a lot of blood. If you get a couple drops a day you should do fine. But don't drink to much from one person. If someone were to die because of our kind, we'd be fucked over. As of right now our jumping ability gives us and edge if we want to get a little bit of blood fast. But remember. Blood. Every. Day. If you go two days without blood you'll get extremely tired, and try to drink too much. But after three days, your sanity will completely escape from your grasp. You'll lose control and end up killing something, someone, or yourself."
After that, the man faded into the shadows, and I stood up and watched in absolute amazement and horror as my wounds closed up.
What the hell?
After that recap I was sent back to a room full of crimson.
It was quiet.
I can't tell.
I'm suddenly flung back into my reality.
Karma was on the floor, my hands were on his neck, I was on top of him, and he was yelling my name.
Oh my god.
Was that the insanity the guy told me about? Did I just lose control? How did I get here?
"Nagisa, Nagisa!" Karma stumbled in between pants. I had been choking him. With my bare hands. The small, frail and anything but threatening Nagisa Shiota, was strangling my class' top student and assassin, Karma Akabane.
I could see the fear in his eyes. The red color mixing with the tints of orange. As I sat there and looked at him for a while, his hand cupped my cheek.
"It's okay Nagisa. I'm right here. You're okay. Everything's gonna be alright."
His conforting words failing to reach me, I stayed right where I was. And watched in complete fear as a tear rolled of his cheek.
He. He was crying. Because of me. Because of what I just put him through. He was scared of me. Me. It's all my fault.
I immediately fell backwards, screaming at what I had just caused. I violently hit a wall, and just couldn't stop freaking out.
Why do I always ruin everything?
Chapter 4: Chapter 4
Karma's point of view
After he had released me from his grip he stumbled backward, smashing against one of the walls of my apartment. Luckily my bedroom was on the other side of that wall, as to not worry any neighbors.
His breathing was heavy, he was holding his head, his red irises were small and he was sweating. Why is he doing this to himself? Why is he in so much pain? Why doesn't he know he can talk to me about stuff like this? Why does he always think he has to do everything alone? Why won't he just tell me what's wrong?
These questions rang loudly in my head as I tread closer to the unstable figure in front of me.
"Don't come closer Karma!"
His voice creaked. I had no clue what on earth was going on, but if there's one thing I do know, is that he needs someone. And I'll be damned if that someone isn't me.
Nagisa's point of view
Sometimes, you see people and wonder, 'What are they thinking about?' That eerie feeling that they don't know what they're doing. That feeling is me as of right now. The closer he gets, the more control I lose. I feel like I'm about to faze out of reality. I don't know what I'm doing. What is Karma doing? He keeps coming closer, does he think I want to fight or something? I don't want to fight Karma!
Tears started rolling down my cheeks, and my breathing was shallow.
Don't come any closer.
Both completely confused, the two were just sitting there questioning each other. "Why is he doing this?" both of their minds yelled. Both not understanding how the other ticked and freaking out because of it. Nagisa was helplessly feeling what remained of his sanity completely escape from his grasp. Karma tried to inch in closer to help his friend, but it was too late. Nagisa's eyes had gone dark, and right as Karma reached out his hand, Nagisa lurched forward, sinking his teeth into the redhead's arm. A wave a relief hit his small frame, as he took as much blood as he needed before releasing him. KArma was having a hard time trying to pry the smaller one off his arm, but the task proved easier once Nagisa was done. Nagisa practically collapsed in Karma's arms.
Karma's point of view
Nagisa had fallen asleep in my arms, and his breathing had become steady once more. My arm was bleeding, and it stung. I picked him up bridal style, and laid him down in my bed. I wiped my own blood of his lips, and went into the bathroom to take a shower.
You know when you take a shower, and you're left alone with nothing but your naked self and the sound of the water, and your thoughts start creeping in. Well, after that bite and the bloodsucking, I can guess that Nagisa is, somehow, a vampire. It makes sense now that I have time to think about it clearly. When he told me to stay away, it wasn't because he was scared of me, he was scared of himself, and what he might do. I don't know much about vampire's, I mean in each movie of anime the vampires aren't all the same. He seems most similar to the vampires in an anime I watched a while ago. Something about a seraph.
Either way, if he needs my blood, he can't keep getting it from places as obvious as my arm. People will notice.
And that's when it hit me
I woke up to a dizzy feeling and the loud chirping of those stupid birds. I got off my couch and saw that my fall Saturday morning was cloudy. It was 7 AM, and I was more or less content with where I was. I brewed some coffee, not because I like it, but because of the kick it gives me. I sat at my kitchen counter, calmly. I looked over to the was to see a small spot of dried up blood.
Suddenly the events of the night prior hit me. Jumping up, abandoning my coffee, I sprint to my room, but calm myself down at the door, not to wake him up. I walked in, and opened my blinds a bit. I walked over to Nagisa, whose long hair was all tangled up and had some dry tear streaks on his face. I wiped his dry tears and let my hands brush his cheek.
"Nagisa, it's time to get up now."
His pale complexion was shining in the light from outside. His sharp red eyes opening and looking at me. But a small gasp left his mouth, and buried himself under my covers.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I simply poked the lump under my covers, which had gone into fetus position as of this very moment. I got on the floor, and was at perfect eye level with my mattress. Slowly lifting up my comforter, Nagisa's small face came into view. I simply grabbed his hand, and placed it in the crook of my neck to heat it up. His cold hand sent a shiver down my spine but I managed. Nagisa just stared however. Not in a menacing way, but in more of an amazed way.
Suddenly, he pulled me into an embrace. His small arms found themselves on my neck, and the sudden contact made me fall over.
"Thank you, Karma."
I felt as if I could cry right there. Here I was, crushing on my best friend, and now he's hugging me? I thought he'd let go after a little while, but he just stayed there. And I stayed there too. I just stared up at the ceiling and felt his hands in my hair. I looked down after a while, and saw that he had been looking at me the whole time. I lightly cupped his cheek, and leaned in.
Now, my original plan was to kiss him, but I thinking I'd be moving too fast if I did that. Simply placed my forehead on his, and whispered two simple words.
And then I heard nothing but the sound of teardrops hitting my floor. I opened my eyes, and saw him nod in response. Oh Nagisa, what a hell you must've gone through.
I gently grabbed his head and let him rest in the crook of my neck. I swayed from side to side, and hummed a comforting melody.
After a little while, he sat up straight with his hands on my shoulders.
"Now, I know you have a lot of questions, and I may not be able to answer them all, but I can try."
How? How is he able to pick himself up that quickly? How can he just cry and run and then pick up the pieces and make something out of it? He isn't strong, and it's easy to knock him down, but he just keeps getting up. I myself am very different. Knocking me down is difficult, not impossible, but difficult. If you were to knock me down, I have no idea how long it'd take for me to pick up the pieces and move on.
But as of right now, I have one urgent question to ask him.
"Nagisa, are you okay?"
Nagisa's point of view
I was crying by his dumpster, violently shoved him into a dumpster, ran away from him, fainted, took his bed, attacked him at 3 am, drank his blood, and he's asking me how I am?
I just stared at him. And he stared back. And we were awkward. After realizing we had just been straight up staring at each other for some time, I finally responded.
"Relatively okay, for someone in my situation at least."
He smiled at me, and told me that that was good to hear. After a comfortable silence, I decided to tell him what happened. He listened intently, asking a few minor questions along the way, but he never interrupted me.
But I had to leave. I can't afford to burden anyone the way I am now.
I was cut off by his finger on my lips, and him gently shushing me. Was he about to tell me the same thing? It's actually a lot more painful when someone tells you to leave, rather than you leaving on your own.
"So you need blood every day, right?"
I looked up, probably looking at him like a total idiot.
"Y-Yeah, why do you ask?"
I was unsure about what would come next, knowing Karma, there's a chance that this may not end well.
"So I was in the shower last night after I put you to bed, and I figured that people may notice if you keep biting my arm, so this crazy idea hit me that is perfect!"
He had said it so cheerfully, I don't understand how he gets all that energy. Must be coffee or something like that. What on earth could possibly be perfect about my situat-
I was cut out of my thoughts by warm lips engulfing my cold ones. It sent a warm feeling up my spine, and I was more or less uncomfortable, but since he's letting me stay, I might as well do as he says, for now at least.
Suddenly, he sunk his teeth into my bottom lip. Like really deep. It hurt like hell, so on instinct, I pushed him away, as my brain reached for the first words it could find.
"What the hell? That hurt! How hard do you have to bite someone to make them... bleed..."
I touched my lip, and saw blood on my finger. Karma was grinning at me like an idiot, and I just couldn't help but smile.
But then a scary thought crept in. Violently grabbing his shoulders, I give him the sternest look I could muster.
"Did you, drink any of it?"
Karma's cheeky grin disappeared and he shook his head. I sighed in relief, hands still on his shoulders, lowering my head and calming down.
"I thought I turned you into one for a second there..."
I was looking down but I could tell he was smiling. He put his hand on my head and strokes my hair.
I looked up and smiled at him.
This way, no one would ever notice.
His bottom lip will be our little secret.
Karma's point of view
So yeah, I admit, it's a bit of an asshole plan. Making my best friend kiss me was my real motive. I was fantasizing about kissing him last night while I was taking my shower, until I realized that it could benefit him as well.
It's some closure at the very least.
His stomach rumbled, and I realized that he must be starving. I stand up and offer him my hand. He hesitates for a second there, but reaches out. I grab his hand, and pull him up.
I'm just gonna say that it was my 'overwhelming strength' that made him fall into my arms, but it wasn't. That's just between you and me though.
We walk to my kitchen, where he grabs some cereal as I pour my lukewarm coffee down the drain.
We sat down, ate, and just talked the way we always have. As if nothing changed.
Because maybe, nothing really has changed.
Chapter 5: Chapter 5
Karma's point of view
Sunday passed by casually. Nothing strange in particular, it was just the two of us. But that evening, the most highly anticipated moment of my day was about to commence.
I walked into my room, where Nagisa was reading through my textbook. Due to his current circumstances, we agreed that he shouldn't go to school. It was dangerous. The way his blue hair and red eyes contrast each other sticks out like a sore thumb, so we voted against it. But Nagisa is so dead set on learning anyways that he's studying the English paragraph that we'll be handling in class tomorrow. He noticed me standing in the doorway, so he put the book down and got out of my bed. He walked up to me, and stood right in front of me.
"Nagisa, it's time." I told him, trying to hide every last sign of excitement. He nodded, and I bent down to meet him so he wouldn't have to strain to kiss me, I mean drink me. Wait never mind, that sounded awful.
He looked away blushing, obviously nervous about this. We did it yesterday, but it was less awkward since he was asleep and I may or may not have forced a bloody kiss on him.
His crimson gaze met mine, and we froze for a second. Silence. I heard nothing, I felt nothing, I smelt nothing. All I tasted was his tongue in my mouth and the slight taste of my blood. All I saw were Nagisa's shut eyes. And it overwhelmed me. That kiss with Nagisa yesterday was my first. He's a lot more experienced than me in this category and I'm trying my damn hardest not to let it show. But right now, in this very moment, my senses came back to me. I felt him breath out through his nose. I heard the cars outside. I smelt him. He was right there. What they say about Irina Jelević's kissing technique is true.
It will make you fall to your knees.
"Karma! Are you okay?!" Nagisa's worried voice cut through my haze.
"Yeah, don't worry about it snake boy, it's just professor Bitch's kissing technique making me go weak in the knees is all!" I let out a nervous chuckle, attempting to hide my amazement. How does someone do that?
"Oh, really? You think so?" He sheepishly responded. I simply nodded. "Thank god that's all it was." He said, as he threw me one of the worst curveballs I've ever received by laying his head down on my shoulder. His right hand rested on my chest, which made me quite nervous. He probably feels my outrageous heartbeat banging against my rib cage. His left hand was on the ground, but quickly found itself on my waste.
"Are you, Nagisa Shiota, trying to cuddle with me by chance?" I asked, my shit-eating grin plastered on my good for nothing face. His response is what really peaked my interest though.
It was pretty hard to decipher what he had been trying to say. He shot backwards, an apparent blushing mess, and the following string of words came out of his mouth:
"I... Well I... Just y'know... Just like... I don't know... Like... Like ..."
He quickly put himself back together, however.
"I, yeah. I guess I more or less wanted to cuddle. I thought that maybe it'd c-calm you down and all, s-since you were so flustered and stuff."
My grin morphed into a smirk. God my little blueberry is so entertaining. I wanted to keep prying, but then I saw his eyes. His red eyes were completely dead. He looked devastated, and guilty.
"I just wanted to make sure you were alive."
The Next Day
I was walking up the mountain for class. My strange conversation with Nagisa still resonating with me. 'Make sure I was alive' what was that supposed to mean?
I sat down in my seat. Kayano came up to me with a worried look on her face.
"Have you heard anything from Nagisa by chance?"
"No." I coldly replied. I know exactly how to act in this situation. My voice needs to sound worried, but with a shitty mask of I don't care pasted over it.
"Are you worried about him?" She asks.
"Well yeah he's my best friend and no one has heard from him in such a long time, of course I'm worried." My replies were perfectly acted out. Nothing could shake me.
"And did you hear? About Nagisa's mom, I mean."
What. What happened? Now I'm curious.
"No, what happened?!" My voice was overcome with worry and curiosity. The shitty mask has broken.
"Supposedly, Nagisa's mother, Hiromi, was found in critical condition in her home. She's stable now, but in a coma. Nagisa is also nowhere to be found!"
Why the hell did he not fill me in on this detail?
"Not anymore." Karasuma's cold voice cuts through our conversation, homeroom had started and everyone had been listening to me and Kayano talking.
"Yes, for those of you who don't know, Hiromi Shiota was found in critical condition in her apartment Friday evening. Nagisa was missing, and Ms. Shiota was in a coma for two days. She woke up yesterday evening, and filled us in on an important detail."
"Nagisa attacked his mother and fatally wounded her Friday afternoon and left the scene. As Ms. Shiota described it, he was attempting to bite her. This sighting has been linked to numerous complaints about certain blood loss."
"Vampires roam the streets of Tokyo and are a threat to us. We must capture them before more harm is done."
Jesus Christ Nagisa. Why didn't you tell me about the gravity of this situation?
"What the fuck did you do?!"
I yelled, my voice cutting through the silence of my apartment.
Normal Point of View
Karma's cold words cut through the silence that once existed in the small apartment. He was furious, sad, and above all, terrified. The fact that Nagisa didn't tell him that he attacked his own mother hurt Karma gravely.
Nagisa looked up from his textbook in utter shock because his best friend came bursting through the front door with strong profanity.
Karma stomped over to the kitchen table, slamming the front door on his way in, and grabbed Nagisa's collar.
"You didn't tell me about your mom! You didn't tell me the police were after you! You didn't tell me anything!" His words flowed out, but something else had been flowing out along with them.
Nagisa's eyes were shut tight, taking in his questions while trembling in fear. He was terrified and guilty. Once Karma was done yelling at him, they stayed right in that position. Nagisa on his tippy toes and Karma holding him up by his shirt.
Nagisa's red eyes revealed themselves, only a little, until they fully widened to thoroughly look at the face in front of him.
Karma, the toughest and smartest boy in E-Class by far, was crying.
His tears were huge, and when they fell they sprinkled on Nagisa's face. Nagisa was in utter shock.
So was Karma, when he watched the smaller boy's hand reach up to his face wiping away the tears he hadn't even noticed falling.
"I just- I just-"
Nagisa tried, his voice cracking up as if something was stuck in his throat. He felt himself slip, he had been standing on his tippy toes for a full minute and was starting to lose his strength, combined with how emotionally exhausted he was.
He started falling slowly, and Karma fell with him. They just sat there, Karma's knuckles turning white from clenching his fists around the bluenette's collar.
His face flushed pink with tears still making their salty tracks down his pale complexion. But Nagisa was also crying.
Nagisa got up slightly, that he towered of Karma a bit, and pulled the redhead in for a hug. They fit perfectly this way, Karma's face hidden in Nagisa's shirt, making it damp with his tears. Nagisa's small fingers were tangled in Karma's red locks, as his other hand had been rubbing circles on his back.
Karma let it all out. Not in words, but in tears. He screamed and sobbed an cried, and Nagisa cradled him through every last bit of it.
Karma wanted to tell him everything. And so he did, in the form of cries he cried for him, in the form of screams he emitted his frustration, in the form of sobs he promised never to leave, and in tears. In tears he told him how much he loved him.
This was Karma's confession, his proclamation of love. This was his moment and Nagisa listened. Karma understood that one day he'll have to translate this moment to him. But only when he's ready.
But Karma was scared that he'll never be ready. That the day he musters up his courage won't ever come. The day his shackles are gone.
However, what Karma didn't know is that the butterflies in the room were destroying someone else's stomach.
Nagisa pushed Karma's face further into his shoulder, to console him, but also to hide the fact that Nagisa's face was matching his eyes.
Nagisa was confused. He didn't have anything that he had to say, but even if he did, he'd be at a loss for words.
He'd never felt this way before. His face heating up, as if he's embarrassed even though he didn't do anything, the butterflies, the shaking, all of it.
He felt as if there was something that needed to be said but no one was saying it. As if there was a barrier that needed to be broken but no one was breaking it.
Did he know what needed to be said, or which barrier needed to be broken? Hell no.
They say there for a while.
And it was nice.
Nagisa and Karma had ordered pizza and were sat down on the couch as they'd been sitting the few days prior.
But something was different.
It was awkward.
Instead of the usual friendly talks the two had, even after the whole vampire thing, Karma was carrying the conversation all by himself.
Nagisa was, still, at a loss for words.
Nagisa looked like he was trying to solve a puzzle with his brain.
Karma knows how to hide his true feelings.
The next day, like any other as it seemed, Karma trotted off to school and Nagisa studied from the books left at home.
Or so he thought.
Nagisa's brain was in the middle of experiencing an insane revolution of sorts.
As many revolutions in the history books will show you, during a revolution whatever was there first is broken down and replaced with something better and something people will benefit more from, or be happier with.
To put it simply, Nagisa's brain was fried.
He sat right there at the kitchen counter, respective calculus, English, and social studies textbooks and workbooks scattered around, and he didn't even know which one he was studying.
There were the few times that he'd scoot his chair back slightly, and then proceed to start repeatedly banging his head on the counter. Sometimes he'd run around the living room, other times he'd sit in Karma's bedroom, and it once he even contemplated sitting in the dryer, only to reconsidered due to the crippling fear that the damn thing would start running.
After a decent 3 hours of wandering around the tiny apartment, he called it quits, put the textbooks away and made his lunch, which was a sad instant noodle packet.
When he started to heat up the water he looked over at his sad excuse for a lunch.
"Me as a noodle packet."
He sat on the couch and watched tv, eating the said noodle packet as well.
He figured that if he couldn't learn anything from the books, he'd turn on a nature documentary instead.
He ended up in a teen mom marathon.
Karma's life wasn't as smooth however.
The night prior, he and Nagisa established few signs to use, now that Nagisa is wanted by the government.
If Karma were to open the door normally, the coast is clear.
If Karma fidgets with the door a bit, there are people near or unexpected visitors, so Nagisa needs to hide.
If Karma drops his keys, Nagisa is to get out of the house immediately, as it signals that police, authorities or other threats are near. His escape route is out through Karma's window, and headed for the mountains.
Kayano had taken full initiative.
"We should go out and look for him!"
Everyone had agreed, though smarter kids in class had known better.
It turned into a bit of a bicker in class about whether or not he had left town already.
The answer was painfully obvious, even though everyone but Karma had chosen the wrong answer.
That was all until Itona's calm and hoarse voice piped up. Most were surprised that he had cared in the slightest.
"What if someone in our class is hiding him?"
That one had hit Karma in the gut. Good thing he knew better, and good thing he was so good at masking those pesky emotions.
And so it was decided, E-Class was to split up in pairs and go visit each other's houses to see if someone was hiding the little gremlin.
Kayano and Karma were a pair.
Karma contemplated homicide the entire time they were at Kayano's house.
As they walked up to Karma's door, Karma explained how old and trashy the apartment complex that he lives in was.
He wasn't lying, it was a pretty shitty apartment complex.
They approached the door, and Karma told Kayano how the door is such a hassle to have to fidget with.
Meanwhile, Nagisa has a small seizure as he hears the two voices.
He unplugs the tv on his way out of the living room, as he had no time to scramble for the remote.
The blanket he had covered himself with was in his hands, as he found himself in the bathroom.
Shocked, he frantically looked around for a place to hide.
The shower curtain? No. The cupboard under the sink? No. Well yes? Maybe? What's in that cupboard? No one knows?
In the heat, no pun intended, of the moment, he climbed into the dryer and closed the door as far as he could.
But then he closed it all the way.
Karma was now the one leading a smoother life, as he had offered Kayano something to drink as they made idle conversation on the couch.
Karma noticed that the blanket that was usually on his couch was gone.
Karma was trying to suppress his smirk.
Kayano started talking about how comfy his apartment was.
"I never would have expected someone like you to care so much about interior decoration!"
It was true, Karma was a slut for those kinds of things. His walls were lined with photographs, maps and other sticky notes. His bookshelves has small decorations on and around them, not to mention how none of the colors clashed with each other.
"I never knew guys cared about these kinds of things!"
She continued, Karma started to grow anxious and blurted out something stupid.
"Yeah, well, I'm hella gay so I think I'm an exception."
"Karma, you're gay?"
"Well, I mean, yeah, like, okay yeah I'm fucking gay."
Kayano's facial expression changed into an intrigued smirk.
"Who are you gay for? Do tell."
Karma had to think of something and fast. He was blowing his cover, Nagisa was probably stuck somewhere, and he just came out by accident.
"Uh- I- uhhhh...."
Her facial expression grew crazy curious as Karma had mumbled a name, her smirk turning into a sly smile.
"I said Asano okay?!"
He blurted, rather loudly.
Little did he know the gremlin in the dryer was eavesdropping.
Nagisa's thoughts were on a rampage.
Karma = not straight
Karma + Asano = In love
Karma's crush = Asano
Karma's feelings = real and for someone else
Nagisa felt like he was on the verge of heart failure.
This was a stinging feeling he had never felt before. It was a burning and painful feeling. Nothing like being angry or bloodlust or anything like that.
It was a weird tangled feeling of inadequacy, anger, and an overall empty feeling.
He wanted to hit pause.
He wanted to hit stop on the conversation unfolding before him.
He wanted to freeze everything so he could straighten out his thoughts.
Well, maybe straight wasn't the right word for it.
Chapter 6: Chapter 6
Kayano and Karma talked for two whole fucking hours.
Nagisa felt like every last bone in his body was on the verge of breaking while he was stuck in a dryer full of Karma Akabane's laundry.
Nagisa had been eavesdropping on the two the whole time. Karma coming out to Kayano. And Kayano coming out to Karma.
Kayano is bisexual.
Kayano likes boys and girls.
Nagisa was so confused. We were in our third year of junior high. 9th graders. How the hell do these guys have their sexualities so figured out? Nagisa had always just assumed he was straight and gone on in life.
What the fuck was he even doing? Some fucking vampire stuck in a dryer questioning his sexuality? Are we for real?
After those two hours, Kayano finally left. The door closed, there was a short pause.
Karma was laughing his fucking ass off.
"Nagisaa~" he called, you could almost hear his smile in his voice.
The way Karma called his name made Nagisa go into the biggest blushing mess.
The creaking footsteps were heard throughout the apartment. He heard Karma go into the bedroom, but, his search there was to no avail.
He heard Karma open the shower curtain.
"Seriously?!" Karma sounded so frustrated, Nagisa was too tired and frustrated to make the effort to laugh.
Karma leaned back on the dryer causing it to open.
He just about shit himself when a sleep-deprived blue haired vampire stared back at him.
"Do you want this closed?"
Karma let out a laugh as he helped his crush crawl out of his dryer, try comparing that to most romance stories.
Nagisa was tired.
Karma noticed, and grew concerned. Was he not giving him enough blood? There wasn't exactly a caring for an almost vampire for dummies out there.
"Would you like me to carry his highness to the couch?"
He bowed, acting like some royal attendant.
Kind. Karma was so kind to Nagisa. Nagisa, the boy who grew up abused and neglected by his mother, was being treated as someone who was important and of use by Karma. He wasn't a second playthrough, he was the protagonist! Karma hadn't known the scale of what he had done for Nagisa
Nagisa was scooped up in Karma's arms and gently placed on the couch.
Karma plugged the TV back in, grabbed the blanket from the dryer and put it on Nagisa.
He sat next to him, and started talking.
"Did you, like, hear-"
Karma wanted to do about twenty backflips and throw himself into the fucking sun.
"Um, well, I mean-"
"No need to hide it, I heard everything."
Nagisa exasperated the last part, preoccupied with the dramatic Say yes to the Dress episode unfolding before him. Her best friend called the dress she picked a tablecloth. Yikes.
Nagisa felt so weird. First this vampire thing, then these weird feelings? Was this a vampire thing? Was this a teenage thing? Was this a both thing?
He was so confused. He couldn't find the word he was searching for. Like it was on the tip of his tongue but his tongue was being cut off or something.
What was the word.
The ladies on tv looked through the millions of dresses.
What was the word.
One of them gasped, staring at one of the white dresses.
What was the word.
"Oh my god!"
"I love this one!"
Nagisa did a double take.
Love? Him? What the fuck? Him?
"I like Asano okay!"
No, wait. Bad idea, Nagisa's head raced.
Bad, bad, bad, bad.
He needed to stop himself.
But it was too late.
"Karma, how do you know if you love someone?"
Karma seemed surprised by the question.
Nagisa was so afraid. He was afraid of Karma making fun of him. His perfectly sculpted hands poking his face as those beautiful teeth show themselves as he smirks.
Nagisa hadn't expected his honest answer.
"I guess it's difficult to describe I guess, and I have a feeling it may be different for everyone."
He paused, breath hitching like it was a difficult lump he needed to get out of his throat.
"When you're in love, your heart starts beating really fast when you're around them. Your face turns red and you feel embarrassed about every single little thing you do near them. And yeah, you're so happy to see them, but at the same time there's a painful feeling that they aren't yours."
Nagisa nodded. He didn't know what to say. He looked up at Karma, his Crimson eyes twinkling as if they were searching for something far away. Nagisa could almost feel his heartbreak out of his rib cage when he saw Karma bite his lip. Karma continued, even though it seemed painful.
"But it's even worse when you aren't with them. You feel incomplete and inadequate whenever they aren't there. They haunt your mind with every little thing they've ever done, making you feel like you might go insane without them."
He swallowed. To Nagisa, Karma looked like he was about to cry.
"But the worst part, is when you know you can't have them."
He looked down at his hands that had been lazily laying on his lap. He clenched them into fists.
"The idea, the fantasy, the betrayal. That's how you'll view your brain. Why did it trick me into thinking I had a chance, the mere idea of this even occurring, this dream went too far. Those are common ones for me."
Nagisa felt so guilty.
Here he was. Leeching off of Karma's house, hospitality, kindness, and even like an actual leech, blood. And now he made him put such painful feelings into words.
"I'm sorry for asking..."
"No, no, I'm glad to share it with you."
Glad to share it with me
Glad to take care of me
Glad to stay with me
With those happy thoughts, Nagisa dozed off.
Karma was worried. Nagisa has been extremely listless all day. After Nagisa asked him about love, he just dozed off.
Karma scrambled his brain.
Nagisa had told him that if he doesn't get blood for two days he'll grow fatigued, which was strange, since Karma had given him blood yesterday.
What does Nagisa need from him?
Karma tried to get off the couch to get dinner started, but Nagisa wouldn't budge an inch.
But then he noticed something.
Nagisa's lips were slightly curled into a faint smile, and his hand.
His hand was closed shut around Karma's shirt, no signs of ever letting go.
Karma fell in love with him all over again.
His adorable face, how awkward he'd get during some confrontations, his faint blush of embarrassment, his smile, his hair, even his scent.
Nagisa Shiota, the frail and anything but intimidating vampire.
That was the person to whom Karma would give the world if he could.
Karma loves Nagisa so much.
And in his eyes, Nagisa didn't feel the same way.
Nagisa didn't know how he felt.
What was Karma to him?
A childhood friend, perhaps.
So why were there so many butterflies in his stomach? Why does he feel that there's a need for him to stay as close as he can to him? Why can't he let go of his shirt? Why doesn't he want to leave the warmth of his body? Why did he feel this way?
Nagisa woke up.
Karma looked down at him.
"Have a nice nap, princess? You were only out for 7 minutes."
Karma smiled down at him.
Nagisa wanted to cry.
Karma wanted to die.
"Nagisa? Hey what's the matter? Don't cry! Hey it's okay! You'll be fine! I'm right here okay? Cry as much as you want."
Nagisa looked up at the figure in front of him, a painful question resting on his lips.
There was a burning sensation in his chest, his heart set ablaze with fury, bitterness, and pain.
Nagisa rested in Karma's arms. He was so confused. Usually, he'd come talk to Karma about weird stuff like this. But now, was he even supposed to?
Karma likes Asano. If Nagisa tells Karma about these feelings, and if what he's feeling really is love, things will only become more awkward for the two of them, they kiss each other on a daily basis after all.
Nagisa's face was nuzzled in Karma's arm, Nagisa's mouth opening only for sobs to erupt from it. Karma whispered words of comfort to Nagisa, hoping that he could hear them. He softly stroked Nagisa's hair and rubbed circles on his back.
Nagisa's teeth shut tightly on Karma's arm.
"Nagisa what the hell!"
Karma tried, but Nagisa was in a complete trance, and, still crying.
Karma fought to pull Nagisa's head off his arm, managing to make eye contact.
He held Nagisa's tear-soaked face in both hands, looking him in his sad red eyes. Nagisa was shaking, there was blood dripping from his lips, and his breath kept hitching, his final few sobs breaking through.
"Nagisa! Nagisa do you see me?! Nagisa!"
Nagisa came back, and he came back in a frenzy.
He started crying much harder than he had been before, and he backed up as he could and curled up in a ball on the kitchen floor.
But he got up. He stumbled, sure. But he got up.
He stood shakily, his posture lanky and unstable. His head tilted upward in an insane fashion. His glowing red eyes full of swirls and turns.
He looked insane.
He mused, his eyes still as sad as they were before, and an obviously fake smile plastered on his face. Some tears still fell, and you could tell he wasn't okay.
Karma raced forward, possessed by so many different things at once his body moved on his own.
He kissed Nagisa.
He crashed his lips and Nagisa's, and he regretted it so badly two seconds later.
"Only drink blood like that, okay? Like we agreed."
Nagisa came right back to reality. He was able to stop himself on time.
He almost asked Karma why he loved Asano.
And it hurt him so much in that moment.
Karma kissed Nagisa so gently, his lips were soft and warm.
Nagisa realized something that scared him half to death.
He loved Karma.
Every last inch of his soul loved him. He wanted to give him everything he had. He wanted to stay with him forever. He wanted to take the good and the bad and make something out of it. He wanted to grow old with him. He wanted to kiss him, not just for blood but for love. He wanted to hold his hand, he wanted to fall asleep next to him and wake up to his beautiful face. He wanted to go on dates and get ice cream. He wanted to hug him and leave little kisses on his neck. He wanted to dry his tears and feel his smiles. He wanted to hear him call his name. He wanted to cook for him. He wanted to go out to eat with him. He wanted to borrow his sweaters, and kiss his face. He wanted to play video games together with him. He wanted to feel Karma's affection. Rain or shine, hot or cold, whenever, wherever, whatever, he wanted Karma to be right there by his side.
He had fallen oh so deeply in love with a boy who loves someone else.
He couldn't deal.
It only made sense that Karma would like Asano. They're so alike. They're both smart, they look a lot alike too. They're rivals.
And what was Nagisa to Karma?
A leech. A childhood friend and nothing more. A houseguest.
Nagisa had known that Karma didn't mean to, but even so, he hated how easily Karma had messed him up like this. The way Karma looked at him, his smile, his warmth, his scent, all of it.
Nagisa wanted Karma.
And little did he know,
That Karma wanted him too.
Karma has encountered some crazy things over the years. Guilt, regret, anxiety, and so many other fears he'd never dare whisper to the silent night.
For example, Karma is absolutely terrified of thunder and lighting. The sudden flash of lightning, the loud rumble that follows, it puts him on edge.
Karma likes to be in control of things. He likes to be able to tell everyone's next step, where the story will lead. Thunder and lightning are so erratic and unpredictable that it puts him on edge. He wants to be in control.
Nagisa has been going against all of that. His sudden outbursts, his tears, his questions, all of it. Karma was put completely on edge by him.
To top everything off, Nagisa thinks that he likes someone else, while Karma's head over heels for Nagisa.
Nagisa doesn't have a particular situation he'll prefer. Anything from fun, to just out of the house will do for him. But the more and more time he spends with Karma, the more and more he starts fearing the unknown.
Nagisa has come to terms with the fact that he is afraid of love. Or at least doesn't understand it. Karma's explanation was so vague yet detailed at the same time; he didn't understand.
Yet he didn't want to ask again. Karma's pained expression when talking about love was too much for Nagisa to handle. Part of that is because he was talking about his love for someone else. Or so he thought.
Life is full of misunderstandings, and these two are prime victims of it.
And so, Karma was sitting on the couch once again. Another bite mark on his arm, blood making it's crimson tracks on his skin, how badly it stung.
Nagisa was sitting next to him, awkwardly wiping the blood off his lips. Nagisa still wanted to ask Karma about Asano. The reason why he stopped himself earlier is because he was in a frenzy, asking that question then would only make it seem like he was jealous, which he was, but there's no reason Karma should know that.
The atmosphere needed to be comfortable once more.
In the meantime, it had been well past 8 pm, and the two were hungry. Nagisa awkwardly told Karma that he'd cook and that Karma should relax or do any homework korosensei had assigned.
Nagisa made a simple chicken noodle soup with some carrots, a warm dish he found appropriate to, pun intended, melt the ice between them.
They sat down and ate the meal in silence, every now and then a slurp or a sigh, but no talking. They were way too preoccupied with eating to even think about talking. What can they say, Nagisa's a bomb ass cook.
Nagisa looked up from his meal to catch a glance of the redhead in front of him.
Karma had been too hungry to notice, but Nagisa wasn't exactly staring. He'd look up slightly and then right back down again. He'd keep on looking at different parts, making puzzle pieces of in his head. He'd put them all together, the final piece being Karma's lost eyes.
Nagisa didn't know what he liked about them, they were just... mysterious. The way the light tones of orange fade into the passionate red made it seem wholesome.
"Reminds me of the sunrise."
Nagisa blurted, surprising Karma with the sudden lack of silence.
"I... uh... was just thinking about how... your eyes kind of remind me of the sunrise."
Nagisa stumbled at first, but then slowly and gradually finished his sentence as he got a bit quieter, the last vowel being just a little more than a whisper.
Karma awkwardly responded, feeling as if he had to compliment him too, but Karma was having difficulty choosing what to say. He loved it all.
"Y'know, the way your eyes are now..."
He paused, scared to hit on a touchy subject. Nagisa looked up, and those before mentioned eyes shone brightly.
"They kind of remind me of the sunset."
It was true. The way the lighter and darker tones of red mixed together looked like the sun setting. The hopeful glint in his eyes had significantly diminished, but it was still there. Like stars slowly showing up during sunrise to take the spotlight.
If there had been anyone else in the room they'd surely be freaked out now, seeing two junior high boys gaze desperately at each other, looking for something far away.
Love is like thunder and lightning. It's all over the place, it's messy, it's loud, sometimes scary, and just all around chaotic.
And in both their cases, terrifying.
Both trying to keep their cool, they continue their meal.
They never stop to think about what the future will hold for them, they're just living for the now.
They want to enjoy each other as much as they can for right now.
Just like love, they both have another fear in common.
They're both terrified that they'll lose each other to someone else.
Chapter 7: Chapter 7
About a week has passed since Nagisa's little incident. Karma's arm is healed, and he's been going to classes the way he normally has.
3-E has taken a small turn for the worst.
Everyone was able to admit that Nagisa had the most talent when it came to assassination, and with him gone it puts a large damper on what little hope of killing korosensei that they had.
Kayano had been quieting down more and more, enough for everyone to notice.
Karma noticed this, and even though her tiny crush on Nagisa made his skin crawl, she was his friend.
"Hey Kayano, do you wanna talk, or something?"
Karma asked after class, Kayano's significantly saddened eyes not making eye contact as she nods in agreement.
Kayano led Karma down to the rock where she tried to confess, the place Karma holds so dearly.
"What did you want to talk about?"
Kayano inquired, sure she's bright enough to know the answer, but she didn't want to spill if she didn't have to.
"You seem kind of down lately. I just wondered if you wanted to talk about it."
"Do you want the long or the short version?"
She asked, in a tone Karma dubbed 'Aguri's ghost'.
"Long version, we have all day."
Karma smiled sympathetically, Kayano crookedly smiles back pulling her knees up to her chest.
"It's just, I feel so dumb about Nagisa and all. I tried to confess to him in this very spot and he told me that he had 'a lot on his plate' and then he left! But my petty feelings got in the way and I couldn't stop him. I-I-"
She stumbled, struggling to force out what she was trying to say.
"I couldn't save him."
Karma nodded as if he understood, thinking about what kind of a white lie to tell to dodge the truth while comforting the girl.
"Well, if you want my opinion, I don't think it's your fault. Who knows how he turned into one of those things, and who knows where he is now. Nagisa is a very resilient kid though, so I bet he's doing just fine."
Kayano nodded, crookedly smiling in a way that was partially forced and partially real.
"But then there's Rio."
But then there's...
Karma shivered at the thought. He knew what was up now.
"I found a letter near her desk, but that's also near Nagisa's desk so I thought I'd check and, it was like... like..."
She was rambling now, no hopes of Karma ever stopping her.
"Like a love letter! A love letter she wrote to him! And she- she helped me so much! And pushed me to confess! And I don't understand! Why would she do that!? I feel like such a bitch now having let her push me towards him when she wanted him too! She could've told me or something! Like- I don't- I don't understand at all!"
She was crying now, rambling on and on through her choked up sobbing.
Karma gently pulled her in for a hug, rubbing circles on the short girl's back. He knew how Rio felt, but he also knew why Rio did what she did.
"Sometimes, when you love somebody, you'll see someone who feels the same way as you do, and, you think to yourself that that other person is what's best for the one you love."
Karma took in a cold shaky breath after saying that.
"You love them, so you give them up to somebody who's a better match for them."
She sat up, wiped her tears and took a deep breath. Karma was surprised by the way she had picked herself up, or so he thought.
She turned, eyes hurt only to meet ones who hadn't realized their own sorrow.
"Did you love Nagisa?"
That one shocked Karma, the dude who had been intently listening the whole time, not noticing the fact that there were tears streaming out of his eyes too.
He couldn't say it. He never admitted out loud that he loved Nagisa. Well, yes if you count his crying breakdown from a few weeks before. He'd never say it out loud. It's taboo. It's weird. In a class somehow full of girls who love the weakest guy there, the toughest one feeling the same is just odd.
But he couldn't lie to her.
Kaede Kayano has an air around her that is difficult to dodge. She may not excel at subjects tested in school, but she is still very intelligent when it comes to people.
Karma nodded slowly, lingering tears dripping off his face.
"Oh my god."
"I guess I've always kind of liked him"
"Oh my god"
"And in the first year, I thought he was really cute."
"OH MY GOD."
"What the hell are you apologizing for?! I'M the one who should be apologizing! I'm the one who was kissed by him once and suddenly decided that the universe should align for us to be together! I'm the idiot who didn't think everything through! I'm so- I'm so!"
Kayano bashed her head against a nearby tree, causing an acorn to fall and hit her head.
"Look Kayano it's fine, I don't-"
"It's NOT fine! You must've been pining for him for years! Meanwhile, I'm not even..."
"I'm not even sure I have feelings for him in the first place!"
Kayano stopped cold in her tracks.
"I think I might've just been confused. And disoriented.. after he kissed me."
"And even if I do have feelings for him, it's like you said. I think that Nagisa deserves better than I can do. He deserves you. And you damn well deserve him."
"I- uhm- uhh-"
"You BETTER credit me at the wedding though."
Karma laughed at that. He hadn't really done that in a while. Just lose control of all his senses and just laugh. Kayano was laughing too, she was having trouble containing anything at this point.
"This stays between us, right?"
"Duh, the fuck kind of blabbermouth do you take me for?"
The two snickered at that, happy to have a bit of this thing resolved.
Karma was happy. Kayano really was his friend.
We aren't friends.
We really, and truly, are not friends.
Karma had come to this realization at his favorite time of night, 4 am. The calmest time of night. All the night owls and party people have returned home, but the early birds aren't up yet. It's nice and quiet.
And how had Karma come to this realization you ask? He had done it while sleeping, or so he'd like to say. In reality the only part of him that was asleep was his arm. Why? Because a tiny vampire was using it as a pillow.
That is also what lead him to think about he and Nagisa's relationship, ergo; not friends. Friends don't cuddle, friends don't practically make out every day, friends don't cry all the time, friends don't spoon. Karma had realized how stupidly intimate this 'friendship' had gotten.
Karma had fully wakened up now(except for his arm) and let his thoughts run wild. Did he, possibly, have a chance?
He wanted to ponder more about it, until Nagisa had started breathing a bit deeper and started mumbling in his sleep. He had seemed really distressed, during whatever nightmare he had been having. Karma was about to wake him up, until he could make out what Nagisa was saying.
"Why not me... him why me him not"
The words were repeated, but repeatedly in different orders, Karma had no idea what Nagisa was trying to say.
"Him me why not me not him why me him not me why him not me why him not me why him not me"
The words kept on repeating and repeating until Karma was fully freaked, even though he would never admit it.
"Hey, what's the matter? What do you mean?"
Karma hushed to him in a low tone, as not to actually wake him up but enough for him to get an answer. Nagisa started tossing and turning in his sleep, making noises of discomfort while he did.
Karma repeated the question he had asked earlier, but this time Nagisa gave a lopsided response.
"Why do you.. like.. asamfgrfls..."
Nagisa's voice trailed off, the same way a voice would trail off if you said goodnight while you're already in bed falling asleep. The sentence slowly transforms into more of a sigh, and your words become mumbles. Nagisa had already been mumbling, causing whoever's name he said at the end of his sentence to be completely inaudible.
Asano. Karma completely froze. He had no idea that Nagisa cared so much about his so-called crush on Asano. Now that the secrets out with Kayano, no one else should be fooled into thinking that Karma likes Asano, so why is Nagisa so hung up on it?
Karma chuckled a bit, his own stupid and embarrassing lie being thrown right back at him like this is more than a little bit painful.
"It's okay Nagisa, I don't actually like Asano, so no need to worry about it."
"You don't like him?"
Karma hadn't realized he had been staring full on into Nagisa's crimson eyes, and almost flinched when he realized he had been fondly staring at them for the last minute and a half.
"Uh- Well no, I don't."
"So why'd you tell Kayano you did then?"
"I wanted to change the subject so that she wouldn't keep pressing the matter."
There was a moment of slightly uncomfortable silence, only to be broken again by Nagisa.
"Do you like someone?"
This one hit Karma like a ton of bricks. He couldn't really just tell Nagisa that he liked him, with all the emotional stress he's under that might end up pushing him over the edge.
In the off chance that Nagisa does like Karma(he does, but Karma doesn't know that), he won't stop himself from confessing because he thinks Karma likes someone else.
"I don't get it."
"What don't you get?"
"How do you know that your gay, but you don't like another guy? How can you know for sure?"
Karma was caught a bit off guard by Nagisa's late night inquisitive attitude, but Karma was so tired he could barely think straight(not that he ever really thinks straight).
"I don't know, it's like, I can't picture myself with a girl. I can feel things for other guys, I think boys can be cute and/or hot, it just happens that way."
Nagisa had been staring at Karma curiously the entire time, Karma not noticing because he was staring at the ceiling. Karma decided to try to steal a quick glance at Nagisa only for their eyes to completely lock. Instead of awkwardly looking away they just kept on staring. Nagisa had turned onto his side, and the two barely noticed how they had been slowly inching together.
The two were abruptly interrupted by the loud ring of an alarm clock.
Those dorks had been staring at each other for two hours.
Realizing that fact, the two crumpled like leaves at the sight of their actions, Nagisa hiding his bright red cheeks under the blanket and Karma turning around to turn off his alarm, hiding his red face in the process.
Karma was about to leave for school on no sleep, and as that isn't such a big issue(it is but he's used to it) he would be able to, the problem being that he has a test today he's been cramming for all night.
What a disaster.
Chapter 8: Chapter 8
Winter break. Two whole weeks of no school. Around this time of year, it also meant Karma's birthday, which Karma himself isn't quite fond of. But Karma's birthday also meant Christmas, and Nagisa really wanted to get Karma something, for both Christmas and his birthday. But since Nagisa can't leave the house, he decided that he would make dinner for them.
After lots of protest from Karma, insisting that it wasn't necessary, Karma finally gave in and asked Nagisa what he would make them. Nagisa merely said that Karma should decide what he wants.
When Karma was younger, whenever his parents needed to work during the summer time, instead of having his older sister babysit him all summer they'd put him on a bullet train to go see his grandparents who live out in the country. Karma wouldn't ever admit it, but he adores the people. They have a huge house on the side of the mountain, and there's a stream that goes right through it. Whenever he went over there it felt more like going home than his actual home, mostly because his parents were constantly out on business and his sister isn't the nicest person in the world.
One thing that was always the same about going over there was that his grandma would always make ramen for dinner on the first day he arrived. Karma would arrive after spending hours all alone on the train to get bear-hugged my his grandma and grandpa. He'd always exhaustedly but still happily poured over the food.
However, now that Karma is older and much more capable of taking care of himself he doesn't have much of a reason to go over to his grandparents. His sister has moved out and moved in with her 'ain't shit ass boyfriend' as Karma calls him, and since his parents thought their large family home would be too lonely he got his own little apartment. Too proud to admit how much he wanted to go see his grandparents, this year was the first summer he didn't go visit them.
In his own way, Karma felt like he was making his way in this lonely bullet train called life. It felt like there was never a destination, and that he'd just ride the damn thing by himself till he was at the end of the line or kicked off.
But since Nagisa came along it felt like he was going somewhere. Like he could count the stops till his destination, knowing the name of the station without having to look at the crumpled piece of paper with the directions in his hand.
And he was going to get off.
He was going to reach his destination and make it to his final stop where Nagisa would be waiting to pick him up, and they'd walk home together where a nice hot meal will be waiting to heal their tired bones.
Lost in thought, Karma blurted his answer out.
"Ramen? That sounds good! Any specific kind?"
Nagisa had happily replied, setting Karma's heart aflutter and riling up all the butterflies in his stomach.
Nagisa said he'd have to find a good recipe, but he was scared that the government was looking in on their internet search history so he opted for a cookbook instead.
It was the 22nd, leaving enough time for Karma to rent some cookbooks at the library and for Nagisa to find a recipe.
Nagisa's gift was soon to be ready to go, but little did he know that Karma also had a little treat in store for him.
After a full day of pouring over the cookbooks Karma had gotten, he had found two recipes that he liked. One was for a nice ramen that just screamed comfort food and warmth, and another for some small fried chicken pieces that could make a nice side dish to go with the ramen.
Nagisa had excitedly shown off the recipes and the needed ingredients to Karma, super excited to try making them.
"-and I was thinking we could make this as a side dish you know?"
Karma had merely sat and watched the small blue haired boy jumping up and down about cooking, amused by excitement.
"You'd make the perfect housewife Nagisa, considering how ecstatic you get about cooking."
He mocked, and Nagisa puffed up his cheeks as a mad response.
"But I guess in a way, you kind of are a housewife."
Nagisa stopped pouting to look Karma dead in the eye, intrigued by what the boy was saying.
"You're my housewife."
Karma trailed off, as though he had been thinking the words but didn't mean to say them out loud. He snapped out of it, blushing, to be met by Nagisa, who glanced aside and was also blushing.
Karma needed to cover his ass before he made things awkward between the two, so he did so in the most Karma way he could.
By mocking him.
"Oh my god! Have you seen the look on your face? I was joking! How seriously did you take that?!"
Karma continued laughing, and Nagisa just felt belittled. He had just started fantasizing about it too.
Nagisa was still a blushing mess, but he managed to blurt out that Karma needed to shut up and go get the damn groceries already.
Karma left the house, still fake snickering, but the second the door closed he stopped and stomped downstairs.
On his way to the supermarket, he started thinking about the way Nagisa reacted. He had gotten so embarrassed by what had happened, but when Karma said it was a joke he looked so disappointed. Almost sad even.
Karma wanted to physically gag thinking about what had just transpired, he bashed his head into the streetlight next to the supermarket.
A small voice piped up.
"Karma? Why did you smash your head on that streetlight? Are you okay?"
Karma simply turned his face towards the small girl standing near him with her groceries, his head still resting on the iron pole.
"Okuda, you're a shy person. Why is that?"
"Because I'm afraid that I'll say something stupid."
"What do you do when you do say something stupid?"
"Probably the same as what you just did."
Karma removed his now sore and freezing cold forehead from the streetlight and walked towards the entrance, where Okuda was standing.
The thing about Okuda is that speaking with her is simple. She'll keep her sentences as small and clear as possible, as to avoid any misunderstandings.
"Did you say something stupid?"
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
Thing is, Okuda is extremely introverted and will avoid any conversation if possible. After Karma's short response, she simply wished him a merry Christmas and left.
Karma watched her walk away, like the exchange had never happened.
He trotted into the supermarket, got the ingredients and walked home.
When he came home Nagisa was once again poured over the recipe, making sure he knew what needed to happen.
The two didn't speak about their exchange earlier at the door, since, it had kind of been resolved.
"I ran into Okuda at the store, she says Merry Christmas."
"Did she say anything else?" Nagisa inquired, knowing she is a girl of little words.
Karma thought for a second about the few other words the two had exchanged.
Nagisa chuckled, and Karma could really tell how much he missed everyone in E-class. How he missed all the dumb exchanges the students had. Karma felt sad watching Nagisa's smile fade as he went back to cooking.
Dinner had been served, and it was delicious. The ramen had ended up nicely and it really sent Karma on a nostalgia trip. The chicken side dish was a little on the burnt side but not enough to taint the flavor too much. For once in a long time, Karma could say he had a nice birthday.
After they cleaned the dishes, it was still early in the evening. Nagisa didn't have anything planned, but Karma did.
Karma had something rather intimate planned.
Karma and Nagisa were having a rather calm evening, but Karma was on edge. He was going to try something he never had before, as a Christmas gift for Nagisa. If he could even call it a gift.
Around 8 o'clock he finally worked up the courage to give his gift to him.
"Nagisa, come with me for a second."
Nagisa obliged and followed Karma into his bedroom.
Having arrived in the dim room, Karma stopped, turned around to face Nagisa, and took a deep breath.
After a rather long exhale, he looked Nagisa in the face and asked him if he needed any blood.
"Well, I didn't get any blood today, so I guess yeah, but if you aren't feeling well we can just skip it."
To that, Karma smirked and grabbed the hem of his shirt.
"Quite the contrary," he cooed.
Revealing his rather muscular shoulder, he looked at Nagisa waiting for him to make a move.
"W-what are you doing?" Nagisa said, feigning ignorance.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about Nagisa, don't play dumb."
"But Karma, we talked about this, what if someone saw it?" Nagisa worryingly asked.
"It's winter break. The only times anyone will be seeing me is when I go to the supermarket, and when I do I'll most likely be wearing a jacket and scarf. By the time school starts back up it'll be healed." Karma replied, showing that he had really thought about this.
Karma was starting to get impatient, and it seems that Nagisa's vampire instincts were getting impatient as well.
Karma lightly grabbed the back of Nagisa's head, pulling him in closer as he tried to resist. He was trying so hard to snap out of it, but his body wouldn't let him.
Now he was right in front of Karma's collarbone, his breath lightly brushing his tanned skin. It felt strange to Nagisa, since he always saw a small amount of this very part of Karma every day through his unbuttoned collar, but he was looking at it so differently now.
Nagisa was starting to breathe a little heavier; his body wanted this so badly. In the end he stopped resisting, and let himself be completely pulled into Karma's neck.
Karma felt like he was going insane. Nagisa was dragging this out so much, he had time to look at every single one of his features. His strands of hair tickling against his chin, his lips lightly dusting over his neck, his breath along with it, and the way his slender fingers managed to find their way to Karma's shoulder for stability.
Nagisa's breath hitched.
There was a quick sting of pain, and Karma could see that Nagisa had completely sunken his teeth into his neck. The problem is that Nagisa didn't get sharper teeth like vampires in the movies do. With some struggle, he managed to pierce the skin.
And that's when things escalated.
Nagisa's hands were on an adventure of their own, leaving Karma's arms to touch his shoulder blades, only to move up his neck and tangle themselves in his red locks.
Nagisa's tongue was running in circles over the patch of skin Nagisa's mouth was covering, driving Karma nuts.
Karma was unsure if he should've been more worried about a hickey than a bite mark.
And then there were the noises.
Nagisa's eyes had been shut tight, and Karma had long since sat down on the floor, and with every amount of blood Nagisa swallowed, a low noise would erupt from the back of his throat, and he was making some kind of strangled moans in between. It was driving Karma mad.
Nagisa's hands were still feeling their way around Karma's upper body, until one of them grabbed Karma's lower back, finding their way under his shirt. Nagisa's hands were trailing over Karma's back, occasionally sinking into his skin, rubbing over his spine, then once at the top going right back to trace over his torso and lower abdomen. The other hand returned to its place in the nape of Karma's neck.
Nagisa started to push up against Karma, as if he was demanding more skin, Karma would have happily gone along with it, had Nagisa not been as disoriented as he was.
All the contact, all the friction, Karma had to use every ounce of his strength to stop himself from pushing the smaller boy down and insinuating a hot make out session on the very spot.
What he couldn't stop though, was a low groan escaping from the back of his throat. The sound of satisfaction, Karma wanted to slap himself after.
Nagisa suddenly parted with Karma, Karma's skin immediately feeling cold and left behind where Nagisa's hands had been.
"I shouldn't.... we shouldn't..." he tried between pants, but as soon as blood started dripping off of the wound, Nagisa begun to trail his tongue over the patch of skin all over again. And extremely choked moan leaving his mouth as soon as the skin reconnected with his mouth.
Karma was unsure if he was also supposed to touch, so he merely placed his hand on the nape of Nagisa's neck, a place he had always wanted to place his lips since Nagisa first started wearing his hair up. From Karma's seat his eyes would constantly drift towards it, unwillingly draped in by lust.
Karma wanted to return the attention he was receiving so bad. He wanted to kiss and touch too, but he knew he couldn't.
After the wound had dried up, Nagisa slowly back away looking at the damage he had done. Bedsides the bite mark, the skin surrounding the wound was red, indicating it was probably going to turn into a hickey.
Nagisa started furiously blushing, realizing that he had lost to his instincts and had touched way too much.
He figured that he should savor the moment while it lasted, since he probably won't ever be able to get that close to him ever again.
He looked down, still trying to catch his breath, eyes only halfway open, not daring to meet Karma's.
Karma had been blown away. He knew that Nagisa was pretty good when it came to kissing, but he didn't know that he could be so touchy too. Nagisa clinging to him, his hands begging to feel more of him and the feeling of his lips on his neck. Karma couldn't stop replaying what had happened in his head.
His eyes had gone wide in disbelief, because in that very moment, Nagisa was even more desperate for him than he was for Nagisa. The little bit of validation and reciprocation was enough to send him over the moon.
His eyes had been transfixed on Nagisa's lips, which were slightly parted, his hot breath escaping in what seemed to be exasperated gasps.
And his hands. Karma could never look at them the same anymore. The way that had been able to subdue him. Karma the guy who would never ask for anything, felt his body beg for Nagisa's touch. The way those small and tiny fingers could completely encapsulate Karma and drive him insane.
"I'm sorry, I just, I just couldn't... stop... I'm sorry!"
He squeaked, then hurrying out of the room.
Karma sat and stared at the spot where Nagisa had been sitting. Suddenly, his body caught up with what was happening, causing him to start breathing quickly hand heavily, his chest quickly rising hand falling. He was a little lightheaded, but he would've been either way due to Nagisa's contact with him. He sat on his hands and knees, sweat dripping off his forehead.
That happened. That actually happened.
The gears in his mind were spinning, and whenever he closed his eyes he could feel the ghost of Nagisa's touch.
He rolled on to his back, covering his damp eyes with his forearms. He couldn't stop thinking about it, and he felt so dirty about it.
Nagisa was laying face first on the couch, his breath hitching. He could hear his heart in his ears, and he was sure he had been as red as Karma's hair.
He had let his hands tangle in that hair, he had traced his hands over his torso, he could vibrantly remember the way Karma's spine felt on his fingers, the way he got to trace them over the taller boys muscular figure.
Karma came out of his room after 10 minutes to most likely grab bandages for the rather large bite mark/hickey.
Nagisa covered himself in his blanket and pretended to sleep, even though his breathing was a dead give away. After being that close, after touching that much skin, Nagisa was completely infatuated with Karma. He felt so dirty but so valid at the same time.
Are we crossing a line?
Chapter 9: Chapter 9
Karma and Nagisa have not really been speaking to each other, after their 'incident'. Nagisa has been keeping his distance, not trusting himself around Karma anymore.
Karma doesn't deliberately keep his distance from Nagisa, but he is fine with Nagisa doing it. If they were any closer he'd break down.
Things were peacefully awkward, until one fateful day.
A knock at the door.
Karma walked to the intercom to see who was there, only to hear a shrill voice that sometimes haunts his dreams.
"Karma? It's meeeeee, Natsuki! Be a good little brother and let your sister in. I know you're theeeere!"
Karma cringed at her high pitched voice, taunting him through the already terrible quality microphone.
Nagisa begrudgingly hid in the dryer again, even though he was getting a little tired of playing contortionist.
Natsuki Akabane is a woman shrouded in mystery to the boy. All he knows is that she's somewhere in her twenties, is in college, and that Karma doesn't exactly enjoy her company. She moved in with her boyfriend and that's when Karma started calling this one bedroom apartment his home sweet home.
After her banging on the door more often than necessary, Karma slowly opened it to see his elder sister looking down on him. She wasn't much taller than him, being around 180 centimeters, but her ego stands tall enough to make her slightly intimidating.
"Hey... you wouldn't help a girl out and let her stay the night over here would you?"
At that, Karma slammed the door in her face, not wanting to meet the woman who bullied him for so many years again.
She started banging on the door again, making Karma set his jaw in the process.
Ignore it, ignore it, the same way you always have.
"Say, you wouldn't let a pregnant woman sleep on the street would you?"
He slowly and hesitantly opened the door, revealing her wearing a smug smirk.
She walks right in, and plops herself down on his couch. Karma inhales sharply, and then sighs.
"What do you want Natsuki."
"Oh, so hostile, seems you haven't changed."
She smirks, no reconciliation for what had happened when they were kids.
Whenever their parents left for one of their crazy little getaways, Natsuki would have to watch Karma. Natsuki was never the type to enjoy playing with baby dolls and to take care of an actual child certainly didn't suit her fancy.
Natsuki was about 11 years old when her parents decided not to bother calling their aunt to babysit them for the time. While most kids her age were going to the arcade after school, she'd be strapped with babysitting her 5-year-old brother. She'd been good the first 2 times. She thought that if she did a good job at taking care of her baby brother her parents would stay home a while.
But the second her mother got the call from a colleague about a new archaeological finding she'd be off, taking her free-lance journalist husband with her to scope out a story in the surrounding area.
The third time she snapped. She'd starved her little brother for days. She'd make him find his own way home from daycare while she went out on the town. She'd feed him only if he'd do as she said.
Her adolescent days had left her aggressive and stressed, and she'd use her little brother as an outlet. She'd barge into his room just to start a fight, just to taunt until he'd make a move. So that she could beat him up for it.
When her boyfriend presented the idea of them living together Natsuki jumped at the opportunity. She'd sent her parents a vague text and off she was.
And her parents? They hadn't batted an eye. She'd expected her parents to call, get angry, come home and tell her to take care of him. Show her even an ounce of attention. And yet, they merely signed a permission slip to let Karma live alone and off again they were.
And Karma? He'd looked up to his sister so much. He thought that she was some kind of superhero, taking on the house and taking care of him. When she'd started bullying him, both physically and mentally, he'd been heartbroken. The way she'd love to see him suffer and to see him fall to make her broken self feel better. It would seem that her sadistic qualities ended up imprinting on him. He worked so hard to develop a mask towards her taunts, a mask towards the world, just to make sure he wouldn't be any fun to play with for his sister. She'd been tasked with taking care of him, but instead, she broke him.
Here they were, Natsuki lounging on his couch like it was her own house.
"Look, if you need a place to stay, just go to our family home. Why do you need to be here?"
"Because I need money. My boyfriend kicked me out cause I got pregnant and he was my only source of income."
"Then ask mom and dad for an allowance?"
"You think those assholes will care enough to pick up the phone. It's not like they ever cared about either of us anyway."
"It's not like you ever cared anyway."
Karma had said through gritted teeth, but Natsuki has picked up on it anyway. The same way she'd always pick up whenever he retaliated.
"What was that?"
She was up on her feet, and had grabbed her sibling by the collar.
"I couldn't help but overhear your little comment."
She threw him on the ground, giving him an angry glare.
"You think I never cared? News flash asshole, I was never supposed to care! I was never supposed to take care of my stupid son of a bitch little brother, and I was never supposed to grow up that fast! You took that away from me, and now you're being ungrateful? You're angry with me for not being a good teen mom?"
"Go home Natsuki."
"Did you never see it? Did you never notice how little fucks our parents gave about us? Did you never notice how they would forget to send us an allowance sometimes, and you'd have to leave 7 voicemails till they'd finally transfer it? Did you never pick that one up? Did you never see that they wouldn't care if you got a 20, a 60, or even a 100 on a test? They never cared about us Karma. We're just their little mistakes. Mistakes they'd rather just leave here in Japan while they go travel the world! Don't you see that!"
Karma had been blocking his face, expecting a dramatic punch or a slap coming in his direction. He blinked a few times, and hesitantly undone his defensive position, sighing.
Natsuki had been towering over him, seething.
"And what? So that our parents can just forget about us, send over their money and call it parenting? When you stay here, and be a good little boy like they want you to, they'll never realize the mistake they've made. They'll think that they're A+ parents, and the days that they come back to get their visas are enough parent-child bonding necessary, they will never know what a shitty job they've done."
She was panting now, the number of hateful words she'd been spitting out tiring her. She exhaled deeply, as if she was mentally counting to three.
"But, that's not what I'm here for. As I said, I need money."
"And I said, ask our mom and dad."
Karma was angry, his irresponsible older sister taking all the frustrations she spoke of earlier out on him as a child never leaving him in a better place.
"Well, I had something better in mind, concerning that little friend of yours, Shiota, was it?"
Karma felt a shiver go up his spine, his stomach felt like it was in a hydraulic press and his throat felt all choked up.
"Good, so you do know the kid."
"What does he have to do with this."
"The government is giving out an award for whoever finds the little monster, I was thinking you could help out."
Nagisa was trying his best not to have a panic attack, the small space he was in not doing him any favors. His eyes were watering and he could feel his heart beating in his throat.
"What are you implying."
"Look, it's simple. You lure the kid out, give him some kind of sense of security, and then, we turn him in."
Karma was going through all the lies in his head. What does he say, what does he do? Natsuki is so manipulative, what if she can tell if he's lying?
"Look, I don't know where he is, and even if I did there's no way I'd ever tell you. But I don't know where he is, so stop acting like I do."
He'd panicked, he'd mentioned that he 'didn't know where he was' so many times it seemed like he was pushing it.
"Don't know where he is, huh?"
She'd smirkingly said, running her hand over his now very much exposed bandage, especially after she'd grabbed him the way she had.
"Where'd you get this?"
He quickly took a step backwards, covering his mark with his hand.
"There was, a girl, okay?"
"And here you said you never wanted to end up like me. Funny, even though I didn't want to end up an irresponsible adult like my parents, I did anyway. Crazy how things work huh?"
Karma was relieved, but still mostly on edge. She's usually much more persistent than this.
"Well then, that's all for me, goodbye,"
She paused, an evil look on her face, faking a sweet tone, a baby voice that would haunt him for years.
It had only been a few days after Natsuki's visit, New Year's Eve, that Nagisa heard a sound he'd never wanted to hear, a feeling he'd never wanted to feel, an experience he never wanted to experience.
Karma's keys could be heard dropping outside.
Chapter 10: Chapter 10
Nagisa didn't have time to decide whether the feeling he felt was his heart dropping or beating out of his chest. He hadn't the time to consider it, everything felt like an ugly blur of panic and confusion. It's New Year's Eve, Karma went out to buy food for the both of them, and now this is happening. Did he get jumped? Followed? Nagisa's mind was racing as he ran to Karma's bedroom.
There he stood in front of the opened window. The cold December air brushed against his nose, he hadn't been outside in weeks. Though most would be thankful for this touch of fresh air, Nagisa Shiota was too busy fearing for his and Karma's life to notice.
His mind begins to dwell on vampires in the movies, some vampire he's supposed to be. Agile, maybe? Could he really jump from a 4th-floor bedroom window to the roof of the next building? If I fall my wounds will heal. If I fall my wounds will heal. He kept repeating to himself, blood rushing to his head in panic.
The sound of the front door being pushed open was heard behind him. The shock made his stomach jump, and so did he.
For a moment, lasting only a couple seconds, Nagisa was in the air, drifting above the city. He could see it all before him; the lights of the many bars and restaurants open on this New Year's Eve. The people out on the street so their traditional clothing, visiting the shrines, spending time with their family, friends, maybe even lovers. For a moment, his mind drifted off to a city where he could roam about in peace and enjoy this night. Enjoy it with his friends, enjoy it with E-Class and korosensei. Enjoy it with Karma.
The second his feet hit the ground those thoughts were torn away from him. The adrenaline and panic mixed and he started running, his vampiric powers kicking in whenever he leaped over a building. That wonder of the city, those lights, they were all beneath him. When he looked up all he saw was the crescent moon beaming back at him.
Karma Akabane was lost in panic and fear. He was walking home through the crowds when he noticed some suspicious men following him. When he lost their tail through back alleys and side streets he arrived at his apartment to see many more men in front of his door. There's only one thing they could be here for. His thoughts rushed.
The men kept it short and showed him their search warrant. He couldn't resist them. He couldn't fight them. As he walked up the stairs his thoughts went to Nagisa. What was he doing right now? Watching TV on his couch? Cleaning? Cooking? Napping? Who is to say. His thoughts dwell to their secret code.
Approaching the door he drops his keys. As he goes to pick them back up he sheepishly apologizes, saying he was nervous around so many armed men. Though it's true he was nervous, these men were carrying large machine guns and other pistols with them, he would have never let those nerves show so easily.
He opens the door to find that Nagisa isn't in the living room. He is relieved, but that relief doesn't stay for long. The men begin tearing apart his house, their house. The house in which Nagisa and he had spent a comfortable time there, a time now shattered forever.
Suddenly a yell is heard from his bedroom. A man had noticed that Karma's bedroom window was open. They began to question him, their venomous voices piercing the once comforting air that resides there.
"This old house gets quite stuffy, you know?" he answered sheepishly, not a complete lie though one to cover his ass. The men didn't buy it.
The men begin booking it out of his house, repeating into radio's that 'the monster' had escaped through the window. The stomping of their boots echoed through the hallways. Yeah
Silence filled the house.
Karma's entire body caught up with him, he began breathing heavily and his entire body was shaking with tears.
Why must I have a panic attack now of all times!?
He cursed himself, forcing his distraught brain to work with him.
Nagisa is a smart guy. He could make it to the mountains no problem. He won't get caught.
As rationally as he tried to think. He couldn't help but worry. Those men and their guns. Would they shoot him if they found him?
Suddenly a vivid image entered his mind. It was Nagisa, shot through his chest, falling to the ground like a flower in the rain. His blue hair a mess on the ground, eyes closed. Dead.
As a vampire, this should be impossible, but then a much worse fate awaits him. Fate in a laboratory picked apart and dissected in the name of science. Cold and alone.
All these thoughts didn't help Karma's panic one bit, but it sure lit a fire of determination under his ass.
Abandoning the soldier's words, he takes the fire escape to get downstairs and runs through the back alleyway. Passing the dumpsters, passing the graffiti, passing this place that was once their home.
The rain began to fill the air, the same way it had when he first saw Nagisa in this new form he had taken.
Nagisa was still hopping over the rooftops when the sounds of a search helicopter filled the air. He needed to get off the rooftops as quick as he could.
His head hovers over an alley, completely dark and silent. He slowly climbs down using a gutter and starts running through the alleys. So many curving backstreets, like a maze without light. His thoughts were even more tangled than his hair, and his thoughts dwell over to Karma. He must be worried. Or maybe he isn't. Finally having that leech gone and out of the way might be nice for him right?
Nagisa was self-deprecating when his worst nightmare popped up to stab him in the gut. He reached an open space, bright white lights shining in his face.
Chapter 11: Chapter 11
In July of 2017 I made a friend on wattpad, one some of you may know as taytillla . On the 8th of June 2019, we met irl for the first time, and she flew from Canada to Europe to come and see me. She's my best friend and she always encouraged me to keep on writing, so in honor of that here's one of the last chapters.
It's been quite the ride,
Soldiers had their guns pointed at him, he couldn't see their faces, only their silhouettes.
A familiar voice breaks the chatter.
"Nagisa, please surrender."
A man that once showed him such respect, a man he always looked up to, even now. Even now when he attempts to arrest him, even now when they're separated by a large group of soldiers.
Nagisa was frozen in place.
Panicked, he couldn't give up here, this power he's found could possibly allow him to escape this situation, he just has to think.
Attempting to open his eyes in the bright light he starts looking around him, but it's no use. The walls surrounding the opened space are too far off, he can't jump to them. He can't reach them.
He starts backing up, but after two slight shuffles, he hits a cold wall. He was frantically looking around for something, anything, that could save him from this nightmare.
Karasuma attempts to reach him again.
"Nagisa it's all going to be okay, just slowly walk towards me."
Karasuma couldn't get to him.
A familiar yet feared sensation begins to fill Nagisa's body, it was his bloodlust. Perhaps all the panic and adrenaline made some kind of his vampiric sense kick in, as a voice that wasn't quite Nagisa's filled the space.
Venom dripped from his tongue as he said that, he was barely himself anymore.
At that moment an unfamiliar voice broke through.
Suddenly a barrage of bullets pierced Nagisa's small body. It stung. It hurt. It felt like he was dying. The worst part of the matter is that he wasn't. He wasn't dying, he was alive and in excruciating pain. He had fallen flat on his back, the pain piercing his body as his blood started to drip out.
Karasuma could be heard arguing with the one who called for the command, no one noticing him laying there. Just like the first time, right?
Karma was frozen in place.
The sounds of gunshots had echoed through the alleys, beckoning Karma to go find their source. When he arrived all he was met by was his imagination from earlier coming back to haunt him.
Nagisa fell flat on the ground, a pool of blood forming around him, tainting his clothes and his azure hair.
That feeling came back.
He watched Nagisa slowly crawl to his feet, some of the bullets falling out of his wounds as they all began to close up. That was Karma's queue.
Karma's body leaped on its own, running out into the bright lights and being met by the sounds of men arguing and others yelling. He had to end all of this somehow. If there was anything he could do. To just make him stop feeling so powerless.
"Okay, everyone calm down-"
One gunshot could be heard.
An unfamiliar sensation filled Karma's body.
A stinging sensation rolled over his chest, the rest of his body wallowing in the pain. His legs went numb, he had fallen on his back.
When you die, you're supposed to see a white light. Karma had been looking into white lights, but the twist is that there were six of them, and instead of the voices of angels he heard the voices of those arguing.
Karasuma was one of the ones he could recognize.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing!"
"I'm sorry sir I panicked and what if that one there is one of those monsters too!"
Another familiar voice he didn't want to hear as he died filled the air.
"You bastard! You shot my little brother! What the fuck is wrong with you!"
All of that noise, however, began to be blocked out by one voice.
Nagisa's face came into his field of vision.
"Karma... no this can't be happening! We'll get you help! You'll- you'll be okay!"
Nagisa's face was covered in tears, some dripping down to meet Karma's own cheeks as well.
He kept on crying.
Karma mustered up his strength to bring his hand up to cup Nagisa's cheek. There was nothing else to say but this.
"Nagisa... please listen to me right now... it's important..."
Nagisa knew that what Karma would tell him next would be his last words.
"Remember... that one time when I came home mad at you and I started crying?"
Nagisa nodded slowly, remembering.
"What I was trying to tell you that day, that I never thought I could tell you is that I-"
The soldiers were bellowing their commands again.
"Step away from the human, monster!"
Nagisa was quick to cast away their words, however. "I can take it if they shoot me. Please Karma, go on." He had said, tears streaming down his face as he tried to muster a smile.
"What I was trying to tell you... is that I- I just" Karma was crying too now, the thought that this will be where he dies catching up to him, yet the fear of revealing how he truly feels catching up as well. His breathing started to become unsteady, his body was completely giving up on him, his arm that had been cupping Nagisa's cheek was growing numb and all he could look at was Nagisa's crimson eyes.
Still, he swallowed his pride.
If I am to die here, I'd rather do it in your arms.
"I love you."
His lifted arm dropped, he had said all he could say. He was filled with regret, as there were so many more things he should've said to him. Under circumstances nowhere near as dire as these.
Karma wanted to tell him that he was cute, and that he actually likes his hair long too, even if he might want to cut it later. He wanted to be able to text him whenever he wanted and not worry about being a bother to him. He wanted to wake up in the morning holding him, wake up to his face, kiss his forehead. Graduation, college, moving in together, getting married, maybe even adopting kids. Growing old, living in the countryside, nothing less than the memories and love shared between them.
Nagisa was frozen in his place.
Karma loved him. All this time, he had loved him. That's why he did all of these things for Nagisa. This is why he had gone out of his way for him.
He loved him.
And Nagisa loved him too. He couldn't just let him die after something like this! Why is this happening to them of all people?
"Karma don't go! Don't do this to me! Don't leave me all alone!"
Karma's empty apricot eyes opened again. He could see Nagisa's small pale face. His hearing was starting to give out on him, Nagisa's voice becoming distant and far away. He could see the blue strands of his hair. How he had wished he could run his hands through them.
He lets out a strong breath, the shakes of the cold and the wet rain being all he still feels.
He shuts his amber eyes one last time.
For when he reopened them, they wouldn't be that shade of orange anymore.