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Properly

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He didn't deserve to eat properly.

Sleep properly.

Shower properly.

Live properly.

Justin didn't deserve to be told he was a good person, because he really wasn't.

He ate the bare minimum, and when he did, it was always something bland. Something that didn't spark tastebuds.

He slept hardly, forcing himself to stay awake most nights until late, then waking up early with three hours under his belt.

He only showered when he truly needed it, and when he did shower, most times he didn’t bother using soaps.

He deserved the bare minimum, deserved to live horribly and suffer.

Junsung didn't think so.

“Hyung,” Junsung called out into the bedroom, looking for the older. “Where are you?”

“I'm right here,” Justin replied, and Junsung jumped to look behind him. Justin was stood there, curious look in his eyes amongst the rest of his dishevelment.

“Wh- Justin-hyung, are you okay?” Junsung asked, and all Justin did was look at his feet. “You don't look good, let's get some food.”

Without warning, Junsung grabbed onto Justin’s wrist and dragged him off towards the kitchen of their dorm, ready to make something easy and small. Justin simply sat there, staring at the wall.

“Here,” Junsung said, setting a bowl of noodles in front of Justin carefully. “It's hot, though.”

“I'm not hungry,” Justin spoke, and Junsung shook his head.

“I haven't see you eat all day, hyung,” Junsung said, picking up the chopsticks and grabbing a bite of noodles. “Here.”

“Jun-” But Justin was cut off when Junsung held the bite up to his mouth, waiting to be fed to him. Hesitantly, he took the bite, though it felt like cheating, chewed, and swallowed.

“Good,” Junsung praised.

“I am not a child.” Junsung could only smile.

“Then why act like one?” Justin shot Junsung a glare and Junsung just laughed. “You need a bath.” Justin looked down at himself. He’d washed yesterday. He didn't need one.

“No,” Justin urged out, but it seemed he still didn't have a choice in the matter when he was whisked off towards the bathroom and water started to get drawn from the bath’s tap.

“Get in and I'll be back in five,” Junsung directed, and before the protests could leave Justin's mouth, Junsung had run off to leave him to his own devices.

Regrettably, Justin undressed and stepped into the bath, adding just a slight bubble solution to the top of the water.

Finally, Junsung returned, with a towel, clothes, and a small grin.

“Let's get you cleaned,” Junsung stated.

Justin simply sat there and let Junsung wash out his hair, scrub whatever skin as above the water. Let himself be pruned because Junsung didn't take no for an answer. Even though he felt horrible for even letting himself get this treatment, he went through.

“You're all done, hyung,” Junsung finally said after twenty minutes, running a hand through Justin's wet hair. “Go ahead and dry yourself off, I'll be in the living room.”

Junsung was off again and Justin wanted to sink himself in the water and drown. He’d done too much today.

As he got out, dried, and dressed, the reflection in the mirror seemed to prove his point.

He looked very clean, more cared for than he’d been in awhile, but it still didn't rid him of the sulk in his frown, the circles under his eyes, or the way his cheekbones stuck out more than they should.

“Hyung,” Junsung called once Justin emerged. “Come sit, let's watch a movie.” Justin just stared, unmoving, and Junsung let out a sigh before he stood and led Justin towards the couch, settling him in under a blanket, pressing play on the remote.

Junsung must've known something, because Justin was on the verge of sleep twenty minutes in.

“Just rest, hyung,” Junsung said quietly when Justin felt himself start to doze and he jolted himself.

“Why?” was Justin's answer.

“Because you deserve it. It's okay. Just sleep.” Junsung adjusted so Justin's head sat in the crook of Junsung’s arm. “I'm right here.”

And for the first time in awhile, Justin thought maybe he did deserve to live properly.