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unholy texts

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nikkie landlord created a new group.

nikkie landlord invited, jenna sapphire, nazyalenSKY, dmitri dumkin, aleenuh starkohv, The Darkling, and dAVID kOSTYK to the group.

nikkie landlord renamed the group to “most popular girls in ravka”.

nikkie landlord: hey popular people

nikkie landlord: its me your king

nazyalenSKY: did you just named this group after that dumb barbie doll show

nikkie landlord: a) it's not dumb

nikkie landlord: it's a masterpiece

nikkie landlord: b) why are you texting in class

nazyalenSKY: uhhh i could ask you the same thing

nikkie landlord: actually,,,, i ditched school so i'm texting from my room

nazyalenSKY: you WHAT

nikkie landlord: that's right soya sauce

nikkie landlord: i skipped school

nikkie landlord sent a picture

nazyalenSKY: saints i hate you

nikkie landlord: love you too <<<333

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aleenuh starkohv: hey i just opened my phone what's this

nazyalenSKY: nikolai lost his impulse control probably

nikkie landlord: umm,,,, rude

The Darkling: Hello.

nikkie landlord: oh hey the edgelord's here

nikkie landlord: hEy leksyy how are ya

The Darkling: Nikolai, I told you. Do not call me Leksy.

nikkie landlord: mhmm

nikkie landlord: aight leksay

The Darkling: I give up.

jenna sapphire: hey who's dmitri

aleenuh starkohv: oh its mal !!

jenna sapphire: ohHH

jenna sapphire: isn't he your boyfriend

aleenuh starkohv: hWAT

aleenuh starkohv: WE'RE NOT DATING

nazyalenSKY: oof

nazyalenSKY: that mustve hurt

dmitri dumkin: but we're not dating?

dmitri dumkin: we're the bestest of friends right alina

aleenuh starkohv: !!! exactly !!!

nazyalenSKY: you guys,,,, are as sensitive as a rock

jenna sapphire: umm yeah i agree with zoya but

jenna sapphire: mal

jenna sapphire: why is your screen name dmitri

jenna sapphire: who's dmitri

The Darkling: Misha dared Mal to change his screen name to “Dmitri Dumkin” for a year.

The Darkling: Who Dmitri is, I do not know.

nikkie landlord: how do you know this

The Darkling: It is not one of your concerns.

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dmitri dumkin: nikolai

dmitri dumkin: i cant believe you didn’t put tolya and tamar here

dmitri dumkin: i mean they’re like your sidekicks

nikkie landlord: oh sHit

nikkie landlord: i forgOt

aleenuh starkohv: goddamnit nikolai

aleenuh starkohv: i’m going to invite them now

nikkie landlord: ok bUt !! please dont tell them i forgot abt them

aleenuh starkohv invited toolya and tammie to the group.

toolya: what the hell is this

tammie: why is it named after mpgis

nazyalenSKY: nikolai made this group a couple hours ago and forgot to invite you two

nikkie landlord: zoyA

nikkie landlord: п р е д а л а

nazyalenSKY: lmao fuck you

tammie: wow nikolai

tammie: we’re not friends anymore bye

nikkie landlord: this aLL yR fAUlT zOya

nazyalenSKY: ha love you too

dAVID kOSTYK: WHOS TAMAR AND TOLYA

jenna sapphire: they’re the rly smart red robes i told you a while ago

nikkie landlord: whoa,,,,, c/a/l/m down david

dAVID kOSTYK: I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN OFF THE CAPSLOCK

dAVID kOSTYK: OH THANKS GENYA

nikkie landlord: bUT CAPSLOCK ARE AUTOMATICALLY TURNED OFF WHEN YOURE NOT USING THE KEYBOARD ???

dAVID kOSTYK: WE HAVE DIFFERENT COMPUTERS I GUESS

nikkie landlord: wait whAt

nikkie landlord: I THOUGHT WERE TALKING ABT PHONES HERE WHAT HAPPENED TO YR PHONE

jenna sapphire: mr botkin confiscated his phone for six months bc sergei and marie kept spamming his phone lmao

dAVID kOSTYK: YEAH

aleenuh starkohv: whoa really?? that fucking sucks :/

dAVID kOSTYK: I KNOW ;9999

The Darkling: David, you do know that you could just press the ‘capslock’ button next to the ‘A’ button, right?

The Darkling: And as for the ‘;9999’ thing, did you mean to write a frowny face? Don’t forget to press the ‘shift’ button for the alternative keys, such as ‘1’ and ‘!’.

dAVID kOSTYK: WHAT REALLY

dAVID kOSTYK: oh wow this makes so much sense now thank you darkling!

nikkie landlord: #lifehackswithleksy

The Darkling: Nikolai, please stop.

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nikkie landlord: beef baby is out for blood

aleenuh starkohv: ,,, what

nikkie landlord: nOthing

dmitri dumkin: nikolai r u ok

nikkie landlord: thE finest i’ve ever been

nazyalenSKY: hEy bitjES its-a me yR queen

tammie: zoya what happened

nazyalenSKY: umMm,, zoya’s in the bathroom

nazyalenSKY: this is neens

nikkie landlord: nina

nikkie landlord: zenik?

nazyalenSKY: the one and only

jenna sapphire: nina !! what are you doing @ zoya’s how come you didn’t tell me ur visiting :(((

nazyalenSKY: sorRy genZ i wanted 2 surprise zoya and i couldn’t risk any leaks

aleenuh starkohv: isn’t nina zenik the girl that nikolai said moved to kerch high bc she got a guy from fjerda high expelled ??

dmitri dumkin: yeah !! i think nina’s face and name was also put in that honor wall or smthng for students that passed away or moved frm ravka

nazyalenSKY: whAT

nazyalenSKY: IS THIS WHAT THE LEADER OF STUDENT BODY DOES NOWADAYS

nazyalenSKY: GOSSIPING ABT EX STUDENTS OF RAVKA

nazyalenSKY: NIKOLAI,,,, IM,,, HURT

tammie: correction, former. only juniors are allowed to be leaders

nazyalenSKY added neens zenski to the group

King of Scars: I JSUT CHANGED MY SCREEN NAME AND HONESTLY I FEEL SO ATTACKED RN

King of Scars: ALINA MAL HOW COULD YOU

neens zenski: OK HOLD ON BACKTRACK WHOS MAL N ALINA

aleenuh starkohv: we’re new students !!

The Darkling: They’re from Keramzin and are part of Ravka’s scholarship program to show people that they do care about the lower caste.

neens zenski: i only hv a slight clue abt tht but ok

The Darkling: That’s good to know.

King of Scars: ok can the spotlight return 2 me now

King of Scars: i c h a n g e d my screen name is anything sacred to y’all anymore

tammie: king of scars

tammie: edgy

toolya: literally the only time i saw you with scars was when u wanted to pet oncat and she doesn’t consent

King of Scars: THE PAST IS IN THE PAST

neens zenski: WAIT ONCAT’S STILL ALIVE

toolya: yes she is ninA

nazyalenSKY: fuck you nina i never allowed you to use my phone

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jenna sapphire: wait hold on king of scars

jenna sapphire: nikolai didn’t you said?

jenna sapphire: abOut the screen name?

jenna sapphire: you, did it?

King of Scars: YES

dmitri dumkin: did what

King of Scars: I DID GENYA R U PROUD

King of Scars removed neens zenski from the group.

dmitri dumkin: i might b the best in geo but im so lost rn

jenna sapphire: AHLSLSJSJEJWBW

jenna sapphire: OTP

nazyalenSKY: what’s going on

King of Scars: I ASKED HIM N HE BLUSHED IT WAS SO CUTEI C A N T

jenna sapphire: aaAAAHHH

dmitri dumkin: WHAT IS GOING ON

The Darkling: Why am I starting to regret saying ‘Yes’.

aleenuh starkohv: wAit wHAT

aleenuh starkohv: IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS

nazyalenSKY: im fucking

King of Scars: if that what i think it is includes me asking out aleks then yEs

tammie: never thought i’d see the day nikolai finally ask aleks out

aleenuh starkohv: IM

aleenuh starkohv: WHAT THE FUCK

nazyalenSKY: alina (2)

The Darkling: Jealous, Alina?

aleenuh starkohv: iM NOT JEALOUS

aleenuh starkohv: JUST?? SH00K

dmitri dumkin: this seems so out of the blue?

dmitri dumkin: i mean they? don’t interact much?

tammie: well mal if you didn’t spend the whole time staring at alina like you’ve never seen a girl then u would’ve realized

toolya: t h e c h e m i s t r y

jenna sapphire: y’all can say whatever the hell u want abt nikolai w/ aleks

jenna sapphire: but nikolai must fulfill his promise now

aleenuh starkohv: that sounds so,,, ominous??

The Darkling: Did he promised his unborn baby to you?

jenna sapphire: thinking back t it maybe i shoulda asked that

King of Scars: nah,,, i just promised 2 buy her shit ton of froyos

dave: froyo ???

jenna sapphire: yes froyo

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Today 01.29

 

King of Scars: i just had sex

the tracker ™: u what

King of Scars: and it felt so good

the tracker ™: uh tmi

King of Scars: a man let me put my penis inside him

toolya: gey

King of Scars sent a picture

the tracker ™: ur mom gay lol

toolya: ur dad lesbian

gayna safir: im your dad ???

david: we are? dating?

King of Scars: no u

the tracker ™: oh shit bro

light of ur life: yall im crying zoya SNORES in her sleep

toolya: no vid hoax

gayna safir: right ??

gayna safir: thts why i always leave after were done

light of ur life sent a video

gayna safir: well i used to stay fr sm pillow talk

gayna safir: but then bye bye

King of Scars: genya i love u but What The Fuck

gayna safir: babe

gayna safir: u were the one who revived the chat by announcing ur sex life

toolya: oh shit she snApPed

gayna safir: hypocrite smh

Today 11.53

 

nazyalenSKY: alina u fckin traitor im breaking up w u