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Don't lie to your sister

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Kara woke up in an unpleasant way as her shirt was not only stuck to her body but was very sticky as well. She vaguely recalled spilling some tea on herself last night. Tugging at her sticky shirt she wondered if maybe Alex was right that maybe it was not a great idea to take her tea with eleven spoons of sugar

Quickly stepping into the shower she sighed in pleasure as she was finally rid of the stickiness on her body. The warmth of the shower made her think of Lena. Tonight was their weekly dinner and Kara was wondering what she should bring. Her experiments with wine hadn’t turned out well (Lena still drank her eight dollar wine but she looked like she was dying) Her attempts to cook something also didn’t meet with much success(Lena still ate her cookies but she nearly choked on them four times). Maybe she could just buy something ready from the grocery stores? Or maybe just stick with flowers. She could do a quick fly to Mexico to pick some fresh plumerias. Hmm should she do it before or after breakfast with Alex? She weighed the pros and cons of this choice. Doing it now was preferable because she never knew when one of those whole afternoon emergencies might appear. But doing it later on would mean that the flowers would be fresher and smell better for Lena. Ugh such an impossible choice

Quickly checking her phone she noticed the picture she had sent Lena last night. How embarrassing. She looked like a mess and her shirt was all wet and wrinkly. Good thing she had sent it to a good friend like Lena who would never judge her on her looks. If Miss Grant had seen this she would have probably criticized her extensively on how she presented herself



Lena Luthor woke up in agony as every part of her body seemed to hurt. Oh god she hadn’t slept on the floor since working late nights with Jack but she remembered the experience all too well. Trying to get up with her neck, back and most of her joints screaming in discomfort her sleepy eyes suddenly opened in panic as we saw that a hideous alien had snuck into her apartment. It had a wild mane, deep sunken eyes and there was drool on it’s red mouth. Desperately trying to scramble away and reach her tazer she to noticed the alien moving back as well…..oh….this was a mirror and she really needed a shower and a comb

Trying to fight through the agony of being alive at five am she reached for her phone to see if her memory wasn’t playing tricks on her only to drop it just as quickly when she saw the picture again

“Nope. Not in any condition to deal with this right now” she said as she dragged herself to the bathroom and quickly got into her massive bathtub which was more along the size of a small swimming pool. Quickly inputting some commands her bathtub began fill rapidly and massage her whole body. She groaned as her stiff body began to relax. On one hand it felt wonderful on the other there were no more distractions from the question that has been haunting her from last night. The fact that her brain kept conjuring images of Kara sharing the bathtub really didn’t help. She knew that she didn’t have a lot of time to consider her options. Tonight was their dinner night. Should she accept Kara’s advances or not? There was so much to win and yet so much to lose. What an impossible choice.

Oh who was she kidding. She knew it was not a choice. Ever since she found out that Kara had been…open to such a thing she couldn’t stop thinking about it. Lena knew herself well enough that such obsessive thoughts found their way out sooner or later. Even if she tried keeping it friendly right now maybe in a week or two it will all come spilling out and she would try kissing Kara. And then she would probably really ruin their friendship. At least now she actually had some measure in control even if she did feel awkward and insecure as hell
Still she knew one way to get over these feelings. The way Lionel thought her to live. Always be prepared. So reaching for her tablet she began to prepare. She started making her detailed plan for the evening. She may not be a player like Kara but Lena Luthor could achieve anything she put her mind to. And tonight she was going to give Kara the sexiest night of life

Kara took a whiff of the fresh croissants she was holding. She was extremely proud of herself. She had found a solution to her flower problem. She had picked the flowers early and had put them in a stasis field in the Fortress of Solitude. This way she managed to get the flowers early on and make sure that they would be fresh by the time she gave them to Lena. And if this wasn’t wonderful enough she managed to find an extremely rare strain of Plumerias that she was sure Lena would love. Shooting her a quick text to confirm their dinner tonight Kara put her phone back in her purse with a smile as she concentrated on the wonderful smell coming from her paper bag. On the way back from the Fortress she had gone through Paris and had picked up some delicious goodness. She bet Alex and Maggie would love it

“Hey Little Danvers” smiled Maggie as she answered the door “what did you bring us? This smells amazing”

“ Fresh croissants from Paris. There is this wonderful bakery near Notre-Dame that makes heavenly croissants” answer a giddy Kara. She already had six on the way here but she couldn’t wait to sink her teeth into a few more delicious bits of heaven

“Damn if this taste half as good as it smells it’s going to ruin normal food for me” joked Maggie as she invited Kara in

Kara and Maggie chatted lightheartedly as they helped set up the table while they waited for Alex to finish with her shower. Their relationship had progressed a lot in the last few weeks. Kara would always hold a slight grudge against Maggie for the way she hurt Alex and to a lesser degree for arresting Lena without proper evidence but she had gotten more and more comfortable with the detective in these last few months to the point where she considered her a friend now

“Are those the croissants from heaven that I smell?” said Alex entering from the bathroom, with still slightly damp hair” Have I mentioned how much I love my sister lately?

“You could mention it more often” joked Kara back

Soon they settled in comfortable conversation most of which was centered around Maggie insisting that they should move to France immediately after she got a taste of the croissants. As they were just about to finish Kara remembered that she had a very important issue to bring up

“Oh by the way Alex I was wondering if I could ask your advice” said Kara as she savored the last crumbs of the delicious treat

“Sure Kara. Anything you need” answered Alex with a smile. She was always eager to help her sister

“I was wondering if you can help with some advice on massagers” continued Kara

“With what?” asked a dumbfounded Alex. She and couldn’t understand why on Earth Kara would ask her about something like this. She hated massages. Lying helpless on your stomach where some creep could easily snap your neck? Not on her watch

“You know the handheld massager you talked to me about” seeing Alex continuing to look confused Kara said ”I think I saw one here as well. Just wait a second and I will show you”

Raising her glasses for a quick scan of the apartment Kara quickly found the object in question and with a quick burst of super speed she brought it back to the table. There was a moment of silence as Alex stared horrified at the object in Kara’s hand before she exploded from her chair and grabbed it

“Oh god don’t touch this” said Alex in horror as she was very well aware where the item in question had been

“Why?” asked a confused Kara

“Did you say massager?” asked Maggie her eyes widening in delight as she saw what was about to unfold

“Why would you want to know about THAT?” countered Alex as she ignored both of their questions

“Well Lena has been very stressed lately and I thought that a nice massage would….”

“YOU CAN’T GIVE HER A VI…MASSAGER” Alex’s voice unwittingly rose higher to the point where she was almost screaming

“Oh I already gave her a massager I was just wondering if you could tell me whether it was good or not. I forgot to ask earlier and….” Kara was interrupted by the sound of Maggie’s chair falling on the floor with the Detective who seem to be laughing so hard she almost looked like she was having a seizure

“You….you…gave her…..haha…oh god…you” said a wheezing Maggie who could barely breathe

Alex face had gone white with horror as she just knew that their mother would blame her for this.

“Yes” said a hesitant Kara” Why? Was it wrong?”

“Please…haha…please tell me what she said….” continued Maggie as she unsuccessfully tried to get up from the floor

“Kara…” Alex took a deep breath knowing she had to face her problems face on….well for now. She was totally turning off her phone before Eliza could do an imitation of a Howler through it” this is a…..vibrator”

“Well yes. It’s obvious that it massages through vibrations” said an even more confused Kara who was slightly offended that her sister would underestimate her ability to understand something so simple

“ No Little D what you sister means is that this is vibrator as in a dildo as in you know….” Maggie had finally managed to regain some control of herself and had decided to help her girlfriend before she had a nervous breakdown” You know for your lady needs?”

“Huh?’ asked an even more confused Kara

“Masturbation Kara, masturbation” said Maggie causing Alex to wince and try to suddenly develop the ability to teleport

“Oh” said Kara as it finally dawned on her and her mind flash backed to all the sexual harassment seminars she had CatCo. Mrs Grant had used them as punishments for all employees that annoyed” She must have thought I was propositioning her! Oh no do you think I offended Lena?

Kara fidgeted with her hands as she was horrified that she might have offended her dear friend

“More like fulfilled her dreams” murmured Maggie before she elbowed hard by Alex” I mean it’s not that big of a deal. You can probably laugh it off as a joke”

“What exactly did you tell Lena when you gave it to her?” seeing Maggie giggling at her phrasing Alex elbowed her again

“Well I said that I am sure she has some professionals that she can call but in the meantime she could use this to help herself” Kara said as she tried to recollect what she said

“You said what now?” asked a stunned Alex

“You know professional masseuses like the ones I hired for Miss Grant” clarified Kara

“Did…..did you clarify that you were talking about masseuses” asked a desperate Alex

“Well I thought it was obvious besides she didn’t really seem into masseuses anyway” Kara continued

“Oh god” said Alex as she pinched the bridge of her nose feeling the headache coming on” Did you say anything else”

“Well I said I could take care of her since I always had very flexible fingers” said Kara innocently. There was another thump as Maggie fell to the floor again biting her fist in an attempt to stop the uncontrollable laughter” Wait do you think she could have taken all of this sexually?
“Yes Kara I believe so” said an exasperated Alex” Please tell me you didn’t say anything else”

“I didn’t say anything” said Kara firmly”…although I might have texted her that I was thinking of her and I am hoping she is putting her gift to good use”

“Oh … no” this was it. Alex was a dead woman. At Christmas Eliza was going to kill her. She had only five weeks left to live

“And I might have sent her a …kind of a nude picture of me?” said an awkward Kara

Alex slammed her head in the table hoping for the sweet release of a coma. But alas she only got a headache that was made worse by the ringing laughter of Maggie who had completely given up on trying to stand and the floor seemed to be her new home now


“Ouch ouch ouch” said Lena as she energetically rubbed her thigh. The garter belt had snapped and had hit her in a very sensitive place. She hoped to hell Kara was not into BDSM because Lena was really not into pain” I should have gone for the edible panties instead”

She was pretty sure that Kara was going to prefer them anyway but the Luthor in her was just too strong. When she had a choice between 10$ edible underwear and a sexy 1500$ dollar lingerie from Agent Provocateur…..she just couldn’t help herself. As a Luthor she just went for the most exclusive thing (which still somewhat resembled lingerie. The other options while even more expensive were a bit too much for her and for her nipples). Also she really didn’t want to get any candy inside her vagina

Looking at her apartment one could be forgiven for thinking it looked like the lair of a vampire. It was transformed with red silken sheets and decorations everywhere and a very liberal use of pillows, candles ,condoms, dental dams and various toys(all set in a tasteful way of course). Luckily for Lena one of the privileges of rich people was that they had access to people who could do anything. Including turning your apartment into something that looked like it should be a location on Eyes Wide Shut completely discreetly in less then two hours. The bed she was currently sitting on had an even bigger change as several parts of it had to actually be remodeled

Now Lena was trying to get prepared. Just because her apartment looked liked the set of a porn movie didn’t mean she actually knew what she was doing. Putting on her lingerie was tough enough now figuring out how everything worked and looking natural while she was using it was going to be a whole other thing.

While experimenting with one of her new acquisitions she heard the distinctive sound of an incoming text. She could feel her heart speeding up when she noticed it was from Kara.

“Can’t wait for tonight. I have something special for you xoxo”

Lena was taken out of her temporarily brain crash by the sound of something snapping

“Oh no” said Lena as she looked at the broken key and then her eyes widened in horror at the handcuff on her right hand …the one that happened to be attached to the new additions on her bed ” Oh for fuck’s sake can’t I get a break…”


Kara was awkwardly patting Alex on the head in comfort. Her sister seemed to be in a bad way as she was constantly muttering about how Eliza was going to kill her

“You know Little D I always thought you were on the innocent side but I never thought it was this bad. Have you never tried masturbating yourself?” asked a curious Maggie who had finally managed to regain enough control to seat herself at the table again

“Oh god no. I don’t want to hear this. Please kill me now” muttered Alex as tried to put her head through the table once gain

“Of course. I do it regularly but I don’t really understand what this” Kara said as she pointed to the vibrator” would have to do with it? Is it like incense?

Both Maggie and Alex froze as they looked upon Kara as one would upon a strange new animal you have never seen

“What?” asked a suddenly shy Kara

“Well it goes like this” said Maggie as she began graphically demonstrating with her fingers and piece of grapefruit. This causes Alex to once again wince in pain but it had a vastly different reaction on Kara

“Human mash their genitals with tools!?” asked an alarmed Kara

“Well yeah. I mean you have to be in the mood as well and there are other methods like the good old shower head, the ever reliable fingers and…..”

“I think Kara got the picture Maggie” Alex said gritting her teeth and eyeing the exit door with a desperate need

“Well yeah I guess you do. Don’t Kryptonians do the same?” asked a curious Maggie. She had known quite a few aliens each with their own special twists on their sexuality but so far Kryptonians always seem to be just like humans. Maggie was insanely curious to finally get a glimpse of their true alien side

“With meditation of course” answered Kara as if it was the most obvious thing in the world

“Wha…what?” asked a baffled Alex

“So do you guys have sex just by staring at each other and meditating really hard?” asked a curious Maggie

“Of course no. Sex is about two people connecting so physical contact is natural and expected there but masturbation is about your own sexual energy. It’s your own body why would you need to touch it? The pleasure centers are in the brain. It just seems like a pointless waste of time” Kara continued as if this is the most obvious thing in the world

“So you can get off just by thinking about it? Holy shit…screw the flying I want this. No wonder you are so happy all the time” said Maggie with awe in her voice

“Alex… are you all right?” asked Kara in concern. Her sister hadn’t moved in a while now

“Yo…you said that meditation is about Rao. About your religion” said Alex in a near broken voice

“Yes one of the most important parts of being connected with Rao is about maintaining a balance in your life and a clear mind. And the best way to clear your mind is to transform the sexual energy that can be a distraction into something productive like pleasure”said Kara with her usual cheery grin

Alex had a pained expression on her face. Her mind was giving her vivid flashbacks to all the times she had seen Kara meditate including just three days ago when she went into a really deep mediation after they watched Maleficent. And just as a cherry on top her brain also reminded her of watching Astra meditate on the security feeds. Shakily Alex stood up and headed for the door

“Alex?” called a worried Kara

“I am going to work and I am hoping J’onn can erase all of this from my memory. Let’s never ever speak of this again” Alex slammed the door and was out

“It’s a healthy and natural thing Alex” shouted Kara only to hear Alex virtually sprinting down the stairs

“Well this turned out badly” said an awkward Kara. She never even suspected that such a little item could trigger so much drama. Humans were so weird about sex

“Speak for yourself. This was one of the best mornings of my life” grinned Maggie with the grin of a woman who knew she would have enough material to tease her girlfriend for life

After a quick goodbye with Maggie Kara took the skies to think about what just happened. Despite how calm she was (well in comparison to Alex) Kara’s emotions were running high and she was very disturbed. She was deeply embarrassed and ashamed of herself, not because of the accidental misunderstanding. Well not the reasons humans would think. Krypton had a vastly different attitude towards sex then Earth. With STD’s eradicated centuries ago and pregnancy replaced by artificial birthing chambers sex was not considered a taboo or something shameful and intense. It was just a physical expression of love and affection between two people that was considered as normal and natural as painting or dancing.

However while they were as sexually liberated as Daxam there was one big difference. Namely the attitude. While Daxamites were low class frat boys ready to hump anything that moves for Kryptonese people sex was a matter of respect and affection. And this was where the whole problem lay, the way she had accidentally propositioned Lena. By Krypton standards what she had done was horrible. An outright abomination. When one wanted to express physical affection for another in their culture it was considered the norm for this to be done with respect, care and preparation. The way Kara had said it by the way was how arrogant Kryptonese nobles would treat lower cast member or aliens as if they were nothing and sex with them would be just some way to pass the time. Even if she hadn’t meant to and even if she Lena herself isn’t aware of it she had humiliated and deeply insulted her friend and the guilt from this was eating at her. She had to fix it. Looking uncomfortably at the clock she knew that it was only a few hours away until she had to confront the terrible thing that she had done

Balancing her phone on her knee Lena closely followed the youtube video and at her fourth try she finally managed to pick the lock on her handcuffs. She pumped her fist in triumph and then slowly put it down in embarrassment. Luthors didn’t do this. But even her mother’s ghost voice in her brain couldn’t keep her good mood down. Picking those handcuffs had been kind of a turn for her. It not only gave her a valuable skill she would quite likely need in the future but also gave her a boost of confidence that she really needed it. This could work. She could do this. Looking around apartment in satisfaction and checking herself out in the mirror she knew she was ready. Now all that was left was to wait for Kara and her cheery and as she learned lately sexy mood and everything would be perfect. What could go wrong?