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You can break me but I will keep on fighting

Chapter Text

Promise me you’ll never leave my side




Ferid Bathory didn't believe in love.

For him relationships were useless and he avoided them at any cost.

But well, that was months ago.

Now he was different.

Because everything’s changed when a certain policeman saved his life six months ago.

Crowley Eusford to be specific.

Ferid didn’t plan to fall in love with him. He only wanted to play with Crowley a bit and then change his partner like he always did.

But life, or more like his heart, decided to open up for Eusford and in the end they both ended up in a relationship.

Five months together.

Ferid still couldn’t believe it.

It was weird at the beginning. Waking up almost every day to see someone’s face, eating with him, spending time with him. He wasn’t lonely anymore. He had someone with whom he could talk anytime.

It wasn’t easy, especially because of Ferid’s twisted personality, but they learned how to live with their faults and they were working on them.

They didn’t live together but Crowley brought it up few times when they were spending time together. To be honest they spent most of the time at each other’s apartments but Ferid still insisted on living separately. Sometimes he needed a few hours alone and Crowley understood.  Living together was still a big step and Ferid thought that neither of them was ready to do it, even if most of the time they were spending their nights at each other’s places.

Ferid was still working at Krul’s bookstore. He loved his job and he was still working in the same place, even if sometimes Krul wanted to kill him. Because even if he changed for Crowley, he was still the same old Ferid who loved to express his opinion. So of course he still talked with his customers and authors of the new books, not always agreeing with their point of view.

Krul really wanted to kill him but she couldn’t fire him. The reason was simple - because of him their bookshop became popular. Even if the accident with Tamahiko happened a half year ago, people still remembered it.

Their staff didn’t change either. René was still a silent worker, usually working at the back with papers, and Chess was still getting on his nerves. But he enjoyed teasing her, especially now that he had a boyfriend.

Boyfriend, what a weird word.

Anyway, she was still lonely and each time she wore something more elegant he teased her that she was going for a date.

“Maybe being alone is your destiny, Chess dear.”

She wanted to kill him after these words, babbling that he will be alone too. But she wasn’t right.

He was still with Crowley and even he couldn’t believe in it.

Even if his life was a routine right now, he enjoyed it. He wanted to take a break after their big fight when Crowley confessed to him. He didn’t want any ‘adventures’ like that now.

Ferid opened a box and started putting books on the shelves when his telephone buzzed.

He looked at it and smiled.

Because he had Crowley, his boyfriend, but he also had his best friend, Shinya


Shinya opened door to the café and smiled at the girl with brown hair.

“Hello, Sayuri!”

“Shinya! Welcome!”

He took off his jacket and started putting on his apron.

Things changed in his life these past months.

One of them was the fact that he got a job.

He found the advertisement for this job a month ago and decided to try it.  He was still working on his new novel but he was a bit stuck with his work. He couldn’t find the main plot of the next story.

The fact that he was still paying his debt and Guren was paying half of it didn’t help so he decided to find a half-time job.

Speaking of Guren, they were finally together. After years of one sided love Guren returned his feelings and Shinya was so happy.

A month ago they slept together for the first time. Shinya blushed a bit at that thought. It was a bit awkward but after that one night they were more confident and better at this.

And last night, oh…

“Shinya! Stop daydreaming and wash these cups!”

“Oh! Sorry! I’ll do it immediately!”

He took the cups to the sink and started washing them.

Working at the café wasn’t really demanding. He spent here few hours three times a week. He could work here the whole week but he was still writing, even if some days he just stared at the blank page for hours until Guren nagged him to go to bed.

One time he didn’t want to finish just yet so Guren took him into his arms and dragged him to his bedroom.

“But Guren, I need to work!”

“Work, my ass. You’ve been staring at that blank page for hours! I won’t allow you to be a zombie the next day, idiot! Someone has to take care of you!”

Guren was so sweet sometimes, in his own way of course.

Ferid was always rolling his eyes when Shinya was telling him about Guren.

Because Guren and Ferid had their little history and at the beginning of Shinya and Guren’s relationship it was a bit awkward. Ferid of course told Shinya that his story with Guren was a bit exaggerated to cover the real reason for his behavior towards relationships, which was his dad’s fault, but still, there was a tension between them.

Fortunately, it disappeared really fast.

Crowley and Guren were a different story.

The four of them (Shinya liked to call them ‘fantastic four’, which made Ferid roll his eyes and Crowley laugh) met few times together and each time there was this different tension between Crowley and Guren.

Crowley didn’t like Guren and that was the end of the story. Ferid told Shinya that he won’t make Crowley like Guren and Shinya didn’t mind.

“But seriously, I didn’t do anything wrong to him, why he hates me so much?”

“Oh Guren, sometimes you’re so naïve. “

So Guren had to accept the fact that Eusford didn’t like him and he had to figure out why on his own.

“Shinya! Make two cappuccinos!”

“Got it!”

Being here gave Shinya few hours to occupy his mind, and observing his clients he wished he will find soon something that will be a good plot for his story.

He didn’t ask Ferid for any tips. He knew his friend would give him a good plot but he wanted to figure it out by himself. Ferid understood it so he gave him an advice to work at the café.

Shinya sighed. His editor was calling him almost daily asking for progress and he felt stupid that he, a famous writer, had a writer’s block just at the second part of his novel. So embarrassing.

He only hoped that he will find the good plot soon.

He looked at the cappuccinos in front of him. On one of it there was a shape like heart formed with the cream.

He smiled to himself and took a photo. Then he sent it to Guren wishing him a good day, and to Ferid, to, as always, irritate him a bit.


Ferid had two messages on his phone.

One of them was from Shinya. It was a photo of cappuccino with a heart shaped cream. He smiled and then replied with simple ‘go back to work idiot!’. Seriously, Shinya was a unique person.

But there wasone thing Ferid couldn’t deny - both of them were very similar and that’s why they were close friends. Ferid could trust Shinya in every way and it was a good feeling to have that kind of person with whom you can hang out in a no-romantic way.

The second one was from Crowley of course.

[I hope you remember about our dinner ;] Can’t wait to see you.]

Yeah, dinner.

How he could forget about that.

Because today he agreed to have a dinner with Crowley. At his mother’s place.

Ferid wanted to punch himself.

He knew that woman a long time but still he couldn’t get used to her. She was nice, too nice to be honest, and he felt so weird in her presence.

She treated him almost like her son.

Ferid has never met his mother and that’s why he was feeling weird. He didn’t know this motherly protectiveness. He was giving his best and tried to be as nice as possible, yet he still was feeling anxious.

Because Ms. Eusford was probably the only woman that Ferid was scared of.

Anyway, he agreed to have a dinner (again!) at her place and he seriously wanted to stay at home. They didn’t do it frequently, because Crowley knew about Ferid’s feelings towards his mother, yet still she wanted to spent time with them that night. And of course Ferid agreed because he couldn’t say no to begging Crowley.

Months ago he would just say ‘go there by yourself’ now he only sighed and said ‘yes’. What was wrong with him these days? He was getting too soft for Crowley.

“Krul, I finished, can I go home now?” Ferid knocked to his boss’s door and she opened, looking at him suspiciously.

“You did your job very quickly today. You have any plans for today?”

Ferid laughed and waved his hand.

“Oh, Krul dear! Are you jealous?”

“Don’t even start BATHORY!”

She glared at him and he put his hand on his heart.

“I did my job today, I even did some paperwork, helped René and I even hang all these posters on the windows for the new book.”

“Look at you, so diligent. Alright, Bathory, you can go now. But you need to show your ass on time tomorrow.”

“My dear boss, when was the last time I was late?”

He sent her a kiss and she only rolled her eyes, closing the door. Ferid slowly went for his jacket and said goodbye to René.

“Bye Chess! Please, don’t miss me!”

“In your dreams! GO DIE BATHORY!”

Somehow these words that Chess was always telling him, felt weird. Ferid stopped at the doorway, while he was putting his jacket on and looked at the girl.

She ignored him but he still had this weird feeling.

From the beginning this day was weird. So peaceful, his cat was even nice to him and that’s a rare sight from the demon called Mika. His favorite activity was scratching Ferid, or eating.

Ferid couldn’t name the feeling he felt but it made him shudder a bit.

He decided to ignore it and he left the bookstore to start preparing for his dinner with Crowley’s mother.


Guren opened the door to his apartment and took off his jacket. He went immediately to the kitchen and unpacked his shopping.

“Alright, where do I start?”

He wanted to surprise Shinya today by making him a dinner. Usually it was Shinya who was cooking, but this time Guren wanted to make something for him.

His lessons ended earlier because they had only assembly for teachers at his school so he decided to cook something easy. A spaghetti.

He asked Goshi for a recipe who immediately started laughing that he was finally cooking something for his ‘wife’, but he gave him the easiest recipe for that plate.

Guren bought everything, even wine, not the most expensive one because they couldn’t spent too much money, but still very good brand. Shinya’s favorite of course.

Guren right now was bringing his ‘make Shinya happy’ plan into life.

Because he fucked up things with Shinya so bad, now that they were together, he was trying to do everything so the Hiiragi would feel appreciated and loved by him.

Last night he proved it to Shinya.

Guren felt so stupid that this relationship would be difficult for him. Of course, it was at the beginning because he was used being a friend, not a lover with Shinya, but in the end he realized that he wasn’t feeling different than before.

Of course, they were more intimate now, they were even sleeping together but they were still the same people. He felt stupid for his past fears.  Being in a relationship with a man wasn’t different. Shinya was Shinya and his gender wasn’t important. He still loved him the same.

After their biggest quarrel when Shinya confessed to him, Guren wrote to Mahiru once. And this time Shinya knew about it.

Guren wrote to her that they are over, he’s with Shinya now and his life is not her business anymore. He wished her a good life away from him and after that she never wrote back again.

Guren hoped she disappeared for the good from their life.

He started cooking, trying to make the best he could as he hasn’t cooked in ages.

He looked at the clock. He still had some time before Shinya’s return.

Shinya insisted on working in the café and Guren was glad that he was doing something rather than starring at the computer.

He was worried about his partner because Shinya was struggling with his new novel and Guren couldn’t do anything about it besides keeping him company or making nice things for him just like this dinner that he was preparing right now.

Usually Shinya’s mind was full of the ideas but now he said that he has so many expectations from his fans that he can’t write anything. It must be good.

He told him once about a plot taking place in some kind of company, with his characters dealing with the ugly world of high-ranked people, but he didn’t know much about this world.

Guren suggested him watching the movies but still Shinya said that he would feel as if he was  copying the plot. So he was back to square one.

But Guren believed in Shinya. There wasn’t a thing he couldn’t do and soon Shinya will probably explode with the ideas.

His dinner was ready and he tasted it. It wasn’t so bad, acceptable. Not the best cooking, like Shinya’s, but it was eatable.

He put two plates on the table, glasses for wine and at the same time, the door opened.

“Oh my, is this the dinner I’m smelling right now?”

Shinya came to the kitchen, smiling widely.

“Good evening. Yes, I made the dinner. Did I surprise you?”

Shinya laughed and went to him. He threw his arms around Guren and Guren put his hands on his hips.

“Yes, Mr. Ichinose, you surprised me. Seeing you in the kitchen is a rare sigh, should I make a photo?”

“You don’t have too, it may be a common sight in the future.”

“Oh, I like that idea!”

Shinya smiled even more and then Guren gave him a quick kiss on the lips. Such a nice sight after hours of working.

“Alright, don’t seduce me so much. We have dinner to eat!”

Guren put the dish on their plates and Shinya took care of the wine.

“I hope it’s not bad,” Guren said with concern when Shinya put the spaghetti on his fork.

“Well, I hope it won’t kill me!”

Shinya chewed a moment and Guren was sitting, waiting for an answer nervously. Shinya laughed again.

“Don’t be so nervous! It’s not so bad but we need to work a bit on Goshi’s recipe.”

“Oh, good! I was so- wait?! How did you know it was Goshi’s?!”

“Please Guren, we knew each other since University, you really think I don’t recognize Goshi’s simple cooking?”

“You got me, Sherlock.”

Both of them smiled and started telling each other about their day.


“So, when will you get married?”

Ferid choked on his tea.


“Mom, please, I told you. Stop asking stupid questions.”

Yeah, warn me next time, woman, Ferid thought when he was clearing his face with a napkin from Crowley.

“Son, don’t speak like this to me! I was only curious. But looking at you I see that you are already acting like a married couple so you don’t have to have it on the paper if you don’t want to.”

She winked to them but Ferid only laughed nervously.

So that’s how dinners at Eusfords looked like. It was like a normal dinner. Crowley’s mom was good at cooking. Not on Crowley’s level of course but Ferid would’ve never said it out loud because he would be dead in five seconds probably.

But suddenly she asked questions like that.

Last time she asked if they were having sex every day. Ferid choked on his tea too that day.

“Please stop asking about that, mom. Me and Ferid are doing things at our own peace.”

Crowley smiled to Ferid and squeezed his hand. Ferid smiled to him a bit.

“Owww, look at you! I told you, you are married already!”

Oh god, there we go again, Ferid wanted to punch himself but he only smiled at her.

“Ms. Eusford the dinner-“

“Told you, call me mom.”

“-was delicious. Thank you for inviting us.”

Ferid decided to change a topic or do anything in that matter, so she would stop asking about the marriage.

“Oh, no problem! I know I’m not good as my son but I’m glad you liked it dearie!”

Ferid had goosebumps once again. Crowley didn’t help because that idiot was smiling, barely keeping from laughing. Traitor!

“I wish you were visiting me more often.”

Oh, hell no!

“Mom, I am a grown up man, Ferid too, I can’t visit you every day. We have our lives too.”

“Such an adult. I still remember you when you were crying and grabbing my leg!”

Crowley rolled his eyes. Ferid knew that Crowley was really close with his mother and missed his father, so seeing these two talking with each other was quite an entertainment. He didn’t know these family quarrels because he didn’t talk with his dad often. Now he didn’t talk with him at all.

He used to call him, even if he knew that his dad probably wasn’t listening to his phone calls, but he stopped. He decided that it was a big step for him and time to say goodbye to his past.

He was a new person and starting his life with Crowley was something that didn’t include his dad. It was a past.

His dad didn’t care about him and it was time to accept that.

He had new closest person to him now.

“Oh, mom, stop talking about the time when I was a kid!”

“But you were so adorable back then! Ferid is probably really curious!”

She looked at him and Ferid smiled, ending his thinking about his past in his mind.

“Of course I am. Crowley must have been really cute when he was a kid,” Ferid looked playfully at Crowley who murmured ‘traitor’ with his mouth.

“Told you Crowley! Ferid dear, I have so many photos of young Crowley! Do you want to see them?”


“Of course~!”

Maybe this time the dinner won’t be so bad.


“I can’t believe you wore green pants with red dots!”

“Ferid I was five.”

“But that’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen in my life!”

Ferid was barely breathing from laughter. They put on their jackets and left Crowley’s mom house.

“And now you’re mean. I want to see your photos when you were a kid!”

Ferid stopped laughing and sighed.

“I don’t have many, maybe few. And I’m wearing the most expensive suits on them, even as kid. Sorry to disappoint you.”

Crowley looked at Ferid. Sometimes he forgot that Ferid had a different childhood than him. It was twisted and fucked up and the fact that his dad just left him was something that Crowley couldn’t understand no matter how much he tried.

His dad loved him as if he was the most precious thing in the world so he couldn’t imagine such a coldness towards his own kid.

His dad showed him the best way to live. He showed him the best places in their country, he taught him so many things. He was with him when he rode a bike for the first time, he was even there when he made his first steps.

He felt empty without him but now he was surrounded by so many wonderful people that he didn’t felt lonely anymore.

And the most important, he had Ferid.

Even if being with Ferid wasn’t the easiest thing he was really grateful that he had met him on that day when Tamahiko’s accident happened.

He was immediately seduced by Ferid’s personality. And his looks of course, because Ferid was really pretty and cute. Ferid hated when he called him cute because he considered himself only as ‘handsome’ but Crowley was always thinking that he was cute, especially when he was denying it.

But his favourite moments were in the mornings when he was lying in bed and the first thing he saw was his lover’s face, he felt like the happiest person on Earth.

Maybe it was weird but he loved the image of Ferid, lying in bed with his messy hair and arms wrapped around Crowley.

Ferid at the beginning of their relationship (back then he didn’t use that term) hated their morning kisses but now Ferid was kissing him in the morning as well, ignoring morning breath which he used to despise so much.

Ferid changed and Crowley knew that it was his influence. But he changed for good. His personality was still the same, he was still mean sometimes and playful, but he was a bit more caring.

Crowley loved him so much.

But Ferid still didn’t say ‘I love you’.

At the beginning Crowley understood that he needed time but now he was a bit irritated by it. Of course he knew that Ferid loved him but he really wanted to hear him saying it.

Three words. So easy for Crowley, so hard for Ferid.

Of course he won’t end this relationship because Ferid didn’t say these words out loud, he loved him too much to lose him again, but he was dying to hear Ferid’s love confession.

“So, what now? My place or yours?”

“I want to show you something.”

Crowley took Ferid’s hand into his and squeezed it. Ferid smiled and blinked few times with his long eyelashes. When Crowley met him for the first time he thought that Ferid was using some makeup but his eyelashes were naturally that long.

The weather was nice. It was slowly getting darker and the spring was already here. Crowley was in his dark jacket and Ferid was wearing a creamy thin coat with a red scarf, which was a present from Crowley. They were walking slowly and Crowley took him to a park.

“Is this something special?” Ferid asked him, looking curious.

“Well, I realized that I’ve never shown you my childhood neighborhood and I spent here so many years. I want to show you the place I’ve spent most of my time with my dad.”

Ferid nodded and took his hand only to wrap his hands around Crowley’s arm. Crowley smiled. Such a clingy man. He was always complaining that he hated hugs but the truth was different. Crowley always woke up to Ferid hugging him like a pillow.

Soon the park ended and they were at the small terrace with the view on the city.

“Woah, so pretty!”

Ferid left him and went to the rail. The sun was almost gone so it was darker and the lights were bright in the city.

“I came here every time I had a fight with my family or when I wanted to think about something. Dad was the only person who knew where I was so he usually came to find me after an hour. He always gave me an hour to think and then he talked with me. Sometimes we stayed silent, just looking at the city.”

Ferid nodded, knowing it was important to Crowley. He looked at the city once again, his body pressed against the rail. Crowley couldn’t hold himself back and he went to him, hugging him from behind.

“Thanks for showing me this.”

Crowley put his face on Ferid’s arm, because Ferid was smaller than him.

“I wanted to show this to you to recompense for the time we’ve spent with my mom.”

Ferid snorted.

“It wasn’t so bad.”

“I know you’re lying Ferid.”

“Alright but at least she didn’t ask about sex again.”

Crowley laughed at the memory from last time.

“Yeah, she’s a bit problematic sometimes but what can I say, she’s really excited about you and our relationship. That’s why she’s asking stupid questions like this, or the one about marriage.”

Ferid nodded and there was a moment of silence between them. They were the only people here so they could have this moment alone.

“Are you thinking about this?”

Crowley frowned his eyebrows.

“About what?”

“Marriage, idiot~. Have you ever wanted to have a family someday?”

Crowley was a bit taken aback by Ferid’s question and he thought for a moment.

“Well, of course I was thinking about it. You know, having your own house with a garden, getting back from the work and seeing your family in the house. Playing with kids, going out with your dog.”

Ferid only nodded silently. It was a bit weird. Crowley didn’t know why Ferid suddenly brought this topic up.

“So you want to have kids?”

“Well, I don’t mind them.”

“You know I can’t give you that kind of family?”

Oh, so that was where he was going. Crowley should’ve known that. Ferid might act playfully all the time but Crowley learned a bit to recognize when it was a true playfulness and when he was faking it to cover his feelings.

That conversation was going into a bit risky topic.

“Alright, listen to me Bathory.”

Crowley turned around Ferid, still hugging him, and looked at him. He wanted to look straight into Ferid’s eyes when he was telling him this. It wasn’t a playful talk anymore.

“I’m listening~.”

“Yes, I was thinking about family, kids and things like that. But you know me, I’m looking for  adventures every day and what I have with you right now is enough for me. I love waking up next to you, spending time with you. You can’t give me that kind of family but what we have right now… I love every part of it. I’m okay with our life. Married or nor, who cares. I love you Ferid, and nothing will change that.”

Ferid stared at him and his lips were trembling a bit but he cleared his throat immediately and bit them. When Crowley said ‘I love you’ there it was. That weird look on Ferid’s face, the way he opened his mouth.

Crowley knew Ferid wanted to tell him ‘I love you too.’

But he didn’t.

Ferid flushed and looked away.

“Stop saying things like that without warning me idiot! You gave me a heart attack!”

Crowley smiled to him and hugged him more.

“Sorry, the atmosphere got me.”

“Yeah, I could say the same…Listen, I just wanted to be sure that you are really okay wit this because well, you’re a great guy and I’m a bit of a weirdo.”

“A bit?” Crowley asked playfully and Ferid punched him a little.

“Okay I take the ’you’re great guy’ back, you’re meanie!”

Crowley laughed and kissed him on the lips quickly. But Ferid didn’t want to end it quickly and he pulled Crowley to him, grabbing his jacket and kissed him more passionately. Crowley smiled while Ferid was kissing him. He gently bit Crowley’s lip, not to leave a mark but to tease him a bit.

They parted after a while only to look at each other.

Then Ferid wrapped his arms around Crowley and hid his face. Crowley could swear he heard a quiet ‘sorry’ but he wasn’t sure. He was hoping he didn’t mishear.

“Let’s go to my place,” Ferid said instead.


Their way back was quick. They were still holding their hands and talking about trivial things that happened during their day.

Crowley’s confession shocked Ferid and he still couldn’t shake off that feeling.

It was like Crowley confessed to him for the first time, only now he didn’t deny to himself that he didn’t love him.

He loved him.

Yet when Crowley said ‘I love you’ he couldn’t say it too.

There was that strange blockade, thing or feeling that was making him speechless. He wanted to fight it but it was stronger than him. Each time Crowley said these words he kissed him, hugged, anything but never said these words back.

And now he felt like an idiot again.

He had to repair it before Crowley would get weird thoughts. He knew Crowley was patient with him, he knew that he loved him but still Ferid knew that his acting was inappropriate.

He tried, really but there was always that stupid fear. He felt so stupid, that was so immature and ridiculous. Why he, Ferid Bathory, who wasn’t scared of anything, besides Crowley’s mom, couldn’t say these stupid words? 

Because he has never in his life said them to anyone.

When they were near Crowley’s car, Ferid stopped.

“What’s wrong?” Crowley asked him, looking curious.

“When we will be at my place, let’s talk again.”

Crowley smiled to him.

“Alright, we will talk. And then maybe something more naughty, what do you say?”

Ferid laughed.

“You perv, so romantic yet you are only thinking about sex.”

“It’s not like you’re better, we both know it. Who brought the handcuffs last time?”

“Sorry, I couldn’t stop myself~. Besides you liked them the first time.”

Sitting in the car Ferid decided.


Tonight he will tell Crowley that he loves him. Time to stop being coward and leave his past behind. That was a big step and the last one to close the door to his old self.

That day was so peaceful.

Their life was so calm and good lately .

But since morning Ferid couldn’t shake that weird feeling that something will happen. That it was almost too peaceful for his life.

And god, he was so right.

He shouldn’t have been so careless, thinking that he could deserve someone as lovely as Crowley. That his life could be so simple and calm.

Thinking about his soon conversation with Crowley when they will be at his place, he was feeling nervous. They were waiting for the lights to change at crossroad. When they went on Ferid looked through the window on his right.

But he was too late.

He saw a light that blinded him at first second, but then he saw a car that was coming at them.

He didn’t even hear his scream or Crowley’s voice.

He felt a sharp pain and then he saw darkness. 

Chapter Text

So dig two graves cause when you die
I swear I’ll be leaving by your side




Ferid groaned while he was trying to open his eyes. He heard some noises but he couldn’t focus on them, so he tried at least to open his eyes.

After a few second his vision wasn’t so blurred but he wished he hadn’t opened his eyes.

The car was devastated and the car that hit them was so close to him. The glass in front of him was shattered and…Oh god, are these the glass pieces in his leg?

The car hit Ferid’s side and the door was completely destroyed with shattered glass. Ferid knew that his leg probably took damage but there was more important thing.

He slowly turned his face to see Crowley and his eyes widened.

Crowley was unconscious, his head was leaning against the window of the car. Ferid knew that Crowley didn’t take the direct hit, but there was blood, so much of it on his face, and his eyes were closed. Looking at the amount of blood, he probably hit his head when the car hit them.

Was he dead?

Ferid shuddered.

Now, he couldn’t be. They still didn’t talk, he still didn’t confess his love!

Everything was so good, the day was really nice and even Crowley’s mother wasn’t so irritating during their dinner. Crowley talked with him, confessed his love once again only few minutes earlier and now he was lying unconscious in their car. Why did it had to happen to them? What did they do wrong?


Ferid wanted to call him, to touch him with his hand but he regretted this decision immediately.

A strong wave of pain hit him and when he tried to say something he coughed up blood. A fit of coughing that followed only made the pain in his chest worse.

He probably broke a rib or two.

He didn’t know for sure because suddenly his vision blurred and he saw white light and then only darkness.

He wished Crowley had opened his eyes.

But he didn’t.

He shouldn’t have opened his eyes.

That image will probably haunt him for years.

Hearing sirens in the distance Ferid blacked out once again.


Shinya was laying on the couch and watching TV. His legs were on Guren’s lap  who was reading some papers from school. He wanted to work on his novel but he gave up and decided to try watching news and maybe find some ideas there.

He was looking at his phone from time to time and he sighed again.

“What’s wrong?” Guren asked him, still looking at the papers.

“I’m waiting for Ferid’s reply. He didn’t write to me for two hours.”

“Wow, that’s a tragedy.” Guren joked and Shinya punched him with his leg.

“Well, he was writing to me during his dinner with Crowley’s mom but now he’s silent.”

“Maybe Crowley took care of him after such a traumatic event. Relax, they’re probably busy. You’re not his boyfriend.”

Shinya looked at him and smiled.

“Maybe you’re right. I just got this weird feeling but maybe I’m just too tired. Ugh I hate this!”

He shook his head and this time it was Guren who sighed.

“You’re acting like a teenage girl. Give me ten minutes and we will watch a movie.”


Shinya looked at the TV once again, barely paying attention to the news.

He knew he should be watching them more carefully but he still couldn’t shake off that weird feeling. Something was wrong but he didn’t know what caused that feeling. Maybe Guren was right, maybe Ferid was just busy with Crowley or Crowley’s mother was paying more attention to what Ferid was doing and he decided to act polite and to not write during dinner to him.

Either way was possible.

In the TV there were news about some robbery and he thought for a moment about it. Maybe he could get his character framed for robbery or murder? That could be interesting. He had never done that. He considered this idea for a moment and decided to search more on the internet later, memorizing the facts.

The next news were about an accident. Great, why people nowadays were driving so fast? The car on the TV was hit by a bigger black car and it was completely devastated on the right side.

What an idiot was driving the fi-


The devastated car looked familiar. Then he saw the car number and he stood up immediately.

“What’s wrong?” Guren asked, this time he looked at Shinya a bit surprised by the sudden movement of his lover. While sitting straight, Shinya took his phone and dialed a number. His eyes were big and his hand was shaking.

“Hey, Shinya, what’s wrong?” Guren touched his arm with concern. Something was really wrong with his partner.

“He’s not picking up. Neither Crowley,” Guren wasn’t even surprised that Shinya had Crowley’s number but he still couldn’t understand what was wrong.

“Told you, they are probably busy-“

“No Guren! That’s their car! I’m pretty sure of it!”

Guren finally looked at the TV and he frowned.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! I mean, I think…GOD I don’t know but neither of them are picking up, Ferid has been silent for hours and the accident was an hour ago. I might be overreacting but…What should I do?”

His voice was trembling and Guren stood up.

“Alright, we will go to their flats and if we don’t find them we will search Hospitals and ask but if they are okay then they will buy us a really expensive dinner at the fanciest restaurant.”

Guren looked at Shinya. He was still holding his phone and shaking a bit. Guren kneeled in front of Shinya and took his hands in his own, squeezing them.

“Hey, don’t worry. It will be okay. We will go and see. You’re not alone in this.”

Of course Guren wasn’t so worried as Shinya but he knew how important Ferid was to Shinya and well, even if he and Ferid weren’t the best friends he would never wish something like that happening to him. He was glad that Shinya had a best friend like Ferid, even if he was a bit weird. For Guren the most important thing right now was that Shinya was really worried and Guren hated feeling so helpless so he decided to do everything to help his lover.

Shinya took a deep breath and closed his eyes and then opened them looking a bit more calmer.

“Alright, let’s go.”

He stood up, Guren was still holding his hand and when Guren squeezed it again Shinya looked at him.

“Thank you Guren, I appreciate it.”

Guren smiled to him and put an arm around Shinya to give him some strength. He knew that Shinya needed him now.

Then they took the keys and drove to Crowley’s and then to Ferid’s place just to be met with closed doors. They knocked and Shinya shouted but the only sound they’ve heard was Mika’s meowing.  Guren then decided they will visit Hospitals to see if in any of them they would find Ferid and Crowley.

Guren wished they wouldn’t and that Ferid and Crowley would but them a dinner at a restaurant for making them worry.

Unfortunately Shinya was right and the moment they stepped into the Hospital and learned the truth Guren knew that it will be a long and sleepless night. But he stayed with Shinya.


Darkness was surrounding him. He heard some voices from afar but he couldn’t recognize them. His whole body was in pain.

The whole accident was so sudden that he still couldn’t believe it was true. It was just like a stupid nightmare. Everything was so okay but then suddenly that car. It couldn’t be real!

He felt hands on his body. Someone was moving him but he still felt like he wasn’t even in his own body.

The leg is injured…lost a lot of blood…

He felt like he was underwater and someone was trying to talk to him but all he could see was the darkness. As if he was swimming in the void.

Broken ribs…the other driver is dead…

The voices were even more quiet and he felt something on his face.

The darkness was suddenly so bright that he had to close his eyes. When his eyes accommodated to the light he saw the same place Crowley took him for one of their first dates. It was a cottage away from the town where they were sitting on the bench on the terrace, drinking hot chocolate. Ferid still felt warm at the memory of that date. It was one of his favorites, even if it totally wasn’t his style.

He was once again on the terrace and he went to the rail to see the lake in front of it. The weather was so nice. He was hearing birds in the distance and the wind was blowing lightly, brushing his hair. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. So many good memories connected with this place.

“Such a nice view, don’t you think?”

Ferid didn’t have to turn around because he recognized that voice, but he did it anyway, smiling.

“Yeah, I’m enjoying it.”

Crowley smiled and went to him, wrapping his arms around him. Ferid suddenly felt warm and he leaned into the embrace.

“Remember our first date here?”

This time Ferid laughed.

“So cheesy~. Of course I remember that. And it wasn’t our first date!”

“Yeah I know it, but it was the best one probably.”

Ferid was silent for a moment and then he nodded too, because he agreed with his boyfriend. Crowley promised him that they would go here once again and it was nice to see this place again during a different season.

“I can agree with you.”

“So many opportunities to kiss you yet I didn’t do it even once.”

Ferid laughed and he felt Crowley touching his head with his cheek.

“Yeah asshole, you were playing with me!”

“Well I wanted to make it even more interesting. I was afraid a bit that you would dump me, even if we weren’t dating, but here we are. Together, laughing at that memory.”

Ferid closed his eyes once again. He felt like it was years ago but in fact it was only months ago when he and Crowley were meeting for ‘not-really-dates’ because he was too stupid to admit that he had a crush. But that was different. He changed.

“Before I met you I made memories here only with my dad and I loved that place but after his death it felt weird to come here, but coming here with you changed that place for me. I love it even more.”

“Yeah, I love this place too.”

“You can say ‘love’ when you are referring to places but not to me?”


Ferid froze. That was so unexpected. Suddenly he felt cold even if Crowley’s body was so warm. He didn’t like where this conversation was going. Something was wrong and Crowley’s arms around him felt more like claws than lover’s embrace. His breathing was shuddering.

“That’s…that’s complicated…”

Crowley laughed but Ferid didn’t like the sound of that laughter. It wasn’t a lovely sound, which Ferid adored. It made him shudder even more.

“Yeah, because you are so complicated. Are you seriously in love with me?”

Ferid bit his lip. Of course he was! After everything they went through. Crowley didn’t have the right to say something like that out of the blue! He could give everything to Crowley, he even agreed to have stupid dinner with his mother and they were almost living together. He didn’t do that with strangers. Crowley was the first person who made him different, more human, more empathic.

Enough of that bullshit. He needed to say these words to Crowley.

But when he opened his mouth he was mute. He couldn’t say a word.

It’s not that he couldn’t say ‘I love you’. He couldn’t say anything. There was not a single word coming from his mouth. He’s lost ability to speak.

“Of course you’re silent. Why I’m even trying. It’s not like you changed. In the end you’re still the same.”

No, that’s not true! He changed! He was a different person! He was capable of love!

“Maybe it’s time to give up. Nothing we had together was real, I mean, you can’t even give me the real family.”

Crowley’s words hurt him more than the weird pain in his chest he started feeling. Crowley said to him that what they had was enough for him and now he was denying his words?! Each day Ferid was scared that what they had was only a dream, a mirage, because there was no way that a man as kind as Crowley would be with him, a manipulative asshole who was only thinking of himself for his whole life. Each day Ferid was afraid ( yes, he was afraid of that and that scared him even more because few years earlier he was afraid of nothing) that he will open his eyes and see an empty bed because Crowley has left him.

Like his father.

Ferid turned around to at least express his love. It was hard because Crowley’s arms were really strong and (he didn’t want to admit it) were crushing him, making it even harder to breath.

But he wished he didn’t.

He shuddered once again, the image from the car suddenly in front of him.

Crowley was standing, his arms still around Ferid. Ferid was used to the image of his lover’s face because it was the first thing he usually saw in the morning.  But this time it was different.

Crowley’s face was covered within blood, a wound above his eyebrows. He looked as if he’s walked straight out of the horror movie, but Ferid felt as if it was real.

He was scared and he took a step back, releasing himself from Crowley’s arms and hitting the rail. Crowley pulled his hand towards Ferid as if he was reaching for him.

“Oh? So you really don’t love me. All I wanted from you was the confession but you’re still the same person.”

Crowley took some steps back too, looking hurt. Just like when they have had their first fight. Ferid’s chest was in even more pain and he didn’t know whether it was his feelings crushing him or if something was actually wrong with his body.

No, Crowley wasn’t right. He was lying, the person in front of him couldn’t be his Crowley. He would have never said that words.

But he did once and it hurt both of them, so why was he repeating them again? To hurt him more than he already was?

The pain in his chest was so intense that he couldn’t breathe.

He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t breathe, was he dying?

“In the end, you will always be alone!”

Crowley started walking away and when Ferid wanted to run after him, because hell no he would never give up on Crowley, and reach him, but something caught him from the back.

Someone was holding his hands and he couldn’t go to Crowley. Strong arms were holding him and his back was pressed to the rail.

He heard a laugh near his ear and it made him shiver.

He knew that voice.

He still heard it in his nightmares.

“That’s right my son, in the end you will be always alone.”

He wanted to scream but he couldn’t. His legs gave up. His vision blurred once again and he saw darkness.


Ferid opened his eyes. His breathing was rapid and he winced in pain.

“He woke up!”

“I will call a doctor.”

He heard a voice, one feminine and the other masculine but he couldn’t recognize them at the beginning.

What happened? Where was he? He couldn’t remember, his head hurt and the vision was blurry.

He was in pain even while breathing and there was a dull pain in his leg too.

“How are you feeling?”

Oh, there was only one person who could ask him such a stupid question.

He saw Shinya standing near his bed.

White walls and white celling. The specific smell and the surroundings. He was in the hospital.

“Like a shit,” Ferid’s voice was hoarse and he wasn’t sure if Shinya heard him.

“Well, you look even worse to be honest,” Shinya replied trying to lighten up the mood but he winced even at his own joke.


“The nurse went for a doctor, he will explain everything.”

So that was the nurse’s voice earlier. He blinked but his eyelids were heavy. He wanted to sleep again but first he needed to know what happened. Then he remember the most important thing.

“Where is Crowley?”

Shinya opened his mouth but then the door opened and the doctor came in.

“How are you feeling, Mr. Bathory?”

Seriously, even doctor asked him that stupid question?

Seeing him getting irritated, Shinya replied instead.

“He only woke up and he’s not feeling well.”

“Well, I was expecting that.”

Then why are you asking idiot, Ferid thought rolling his eyes.

“You gave us a long and tiring night Mr. Bathory but I’m glad you opened your eyes, that’s a good sign. Your leg was almost crushed but after hours on the operating table we were able to stich all the cuts, although the recovery will be long. I already found you a therapist so if you will be going to him regularly you won’t be even limping  after few months.”

Everything the doctor said to him was so unreal. He only woke up and he bombarded him with the information. So he almost lost his leg? He will be limping if he won’t go to the therapist? What more? His life was already fucked up and now this? Fucking great.

“Also you broke two ribs so that’s why you are in pain when you’re breathing. We gave you painkillers but they must have worn out already so we will give you some more for a peaceful sleep. Do you have more questions?”

Well, yeah, how the fuck did that happen? But he left that to himself trying not to panic.

“The other one…”

The doctor looked at him a bit confused but then he opened his mouth.

“Oh! Your friend! Well, I must say that you were in worse condition. Your friend is alright.”

Ferid breathed out. At least Crowley was ok.

“But he hit his head and he didn’t regain his consciousness. We don’t know when he will wake up.”



His eyes widened. That couldn’t be right. Crowley will wake up soon, will he?

“Looking at you I think that’s enough information for today. Talk a bit with your brother and go to sleep. Sleeping now is the best way to avoid the pain from your ribs.”

Brother? What the hell was he talking about?

The doctor left them and Ferid looked confused at Shinya.

“Don’t look at me like that! To gain any information I told them that I was your brother.”

Ferid groaned.

“And they…believed you?”

“Have you seen yourself in the mirror? We both have light hair.”

Ferid wanted to deny that but well, Shinya was right. They were look alike a bit. Okay, maybe more than a bit.

“You will get yourself…in trouble…”

“It’s nothing, you don’t have any family. Well, you have your dad but it’s not like he will came in here any second.”

Ferid was silent for a moment, thinking again about what happened.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t say that,” Shinya apologized, thinking that it was him who made him silent.

“Don’t worry…about it…tell me, what happened?”

Shinya took a chair and sat near Ferid. Now that he was closer Ferid realized that he had heavy bags under his eyes. He looked like he hasn’t slept for the whole night and he had messy hair.

“I don’t know much, police didn’t tell me a lot and I know that they are working on it. It was an accident, the black car hit you. It was coming at you with a high speed and it was the driver’s fault. He should be in prison probably but…he’s dead. That’s the only thing I could get from them because they’re still working on the case.”

Ferid nodded but he winced a bit in pain.

“You took the most impact because the car hit on the side where you were sitting…”

Shinya was silent for a moment and he took a deep breath, his hand shaking.

“Are you okay?” Ferid asked with concern, and Shinya smiled weakly at him.

“Yes I’m…No… That night was really terrible, I knew something was wrong when you didn’t reply to my messages but I didn’t know that it was because of an accident! When I saw the news…” his voice was almost breaking but he cleared his throat. He probably cried earlier.“I was so frightened. When we got here they were operating on you and you…You nearly died Ferid, you lost a lot of blood and they thought they wouldn’t be able to fix your leg. Only your lower parts were damaged, you must have probably covered your face with your hands because your face is unscathed, so you don’t have to worry, your face is still pretty. Crowley will still love you although he would have loved you anyway.”

Ferid smiled weakly, feeling worse and very tired. He remembered the blinding lights and the moment before the car hit them. He covered his face with his hands, to protect himself even though he knew that it wouldn’t be helpful.

He was feeling awful and everything hurt but he still needed to know more.

“Crowley…what’s with him?”

Shinya smiled at him.

“He’s alright but like the doctor said, the impact was on his head and they don’t know if there is something wrong with him unless he wakes up. So we are waiting.”

Ferid looked away. At least he was okay but he was still worried. What if Crowley would never wake up? What if he lost his memories? Or the hit did other damage? He had to know!

He felt something warm on his hand. Shinya squeezed his hand.

“Hey, he will wake up, you have to believe in him.”

“I know he will…that asshole is a policeman…he’s strong…something like that…won’t kill him…”

He tried convince himself but he felt like he was lying. He blinked few times but his eyelids were really heavy.

“Sleep Ferid, it will be okay.”

So he fell asleep.


When Shinya saw that Ferid fell asleep he smiled and stood up. He went out of the room and took out his phone, dialing quickly a number.

“Shinya? Something wrong?”

Shinya smiled when he heard Guren’s voice. His boyfriend stayed with him the whole night, protecting him from going insane when he was waiting for the end of the operation. He was consoling him and talking with him. Sometimes, when both of them were tired, he was just hugging him or holding his hand.

Shinya was really grateful for that night but he knew that Guren had work. Guren first called Goshi if he could take his classes but unfortunately there was some important matter he had to attend in person at school. So Shinya practically threw him out of the Hospital because Ferid was sleeping and the worse part was over. Of course he was still worried but he could do this alone.

Guren kissed him, telling him that he will come to him as soon as possible and then he went to work.

“Ferid woke up and the operation was successful.”

“That’s good then…How was he?”

Shinya sighed. It was nice that Guren asked even though he knew that these two weren’t friends. He sat on the chair in the corridor.

“Well…He felt awful but not that I was surprised… He was really calm when the doctor told him what happened…”

“That’s Ferid we’re talking about, it’s not like he would start crying in front of you…but did you tell him everything?”

“You mean did I tell him that the doctor wanted to amputate his leg and I almost threw a punch at him? No, I left that for myself and let’s keep it that way. He might not show it but I know that he was shaken up…I saw it in his eyes, especially when he learned about Crowley…”

“Is he still unconscious?”

“Yeah, nothing changed. I’m really worried. Ferid really needs him and he can’t be with him.”

“Well, but he’s not alone, he has you.”

Shinya smiled, playing with his jacket zipper.

“You know what I mean. He need his loved one, not his best friend although he needs me too, just… I can’t replace Crowley.”

“I get what you’re talking about Shinya.”

Shinya sighed again and closed his eyes.

“I can hear that you are tired, go home and slee-“

“I was thinking what I would have done if you were unconscious…”

“Alright Shinya, you’re talking bullshit. Listen, you are tired. Go home, sleep. Ferid is sleeping too and he doesn’t need you tired.”

“I might stay here a few more hours.”

He hard Guren sighing and groaning.

“Okay, I will pick you up after my meeting. But then you will nicely go with me to our apartment and go to sleep. You probably look like a zombie.”

Shinya nodded even though he knew Guren didn’t see his face. He looked around. He was the only person here, aside from two nurses at the end of the corridor. Most of the patients were sleeping because it was still early.

“So how was the class?”

“I couldn’t focus because I was tired, but after a really strong coffee I played a chemistry movie.”

Shinya laughed.

“So you chose the easiest way. Didn’t you plan to make a test for them?”

“Nah, I was afraid that I would fall asleep during it. But I almost fell asleep watching movie with them.”

Shinya could easily imagine the picture of Guren dozing in the chair while the kids were totally ignoring the movie and probably doing something stupid.

“I would love to talk more but the meeting is starting. Take care Shinya and write to me if something happens.”


“Oh and Shinya?”


“I love you.”

Shinya blushed while he heard those words.

“I love you too.”

And then he ended the call, closing his eyes. He considered drinking another coffee but it would be his third one. He opened the door to Ferid’s room but the said man was still sleeping so he decided to go occupy himself in the cafeteria and then maybe buy a coffee.


Ferid never felt worst, even after worst hangover, and he barely could breathe without wincing.

They told him that they gave him painkillers but he only slept short time and they had already worn out. Shinya was sitting here with him but he told him to go home because the white haired man almost fell asleep in the chair.

“I can’t leave you alone here!”

“You’re only irritating me…more…”

“Rude! And I thought you love my company!”

Ferid glared at him but Shinya ignored him, going back to reading newspaper.

“You can read…at home too…you know?”

“I was looking at information. They wrote only a bit about you but still it made first page, congratulations. Tomorrow you will probably be on the first page too.”

“You can take this fame…”

“No thank you, I like to be known for my books, not for something like this.”

Ferid rolled his eyes. It’ not like anyone would like to be on the first page because of the accident. He still couldn’t believe that everything was real. But the pain in his leg and chest was unfortunately real and it really hurt.

Crowley still didn’t wake up.

Ferid really wished that it was Crowley who would be sitting with him right now, teasing him that now he would carry him like a bride, but instead he got Shinya.

It’s not like it was bad, he was grateful. Just…Shinya wasn’t Crowley.

And when he thought that Shinya was irritating, the door opened.

And Crowley’s mother stood there.

Ferid wished he was still unconscious or that he could switch places with Crowley.

“Ms. Eusford…”

“Ferid! Dear! You look awful!”

The woman was really worried and she came to him, touching his face with concern. Ferid wanted to push her hands back but it’s not like he had any strength. Seeing Ferid’s irritation on his face, Shinya cleared his throat.

“I recall I didn’t introduce myself yesterday. I’m Shinya Hiiragi, Ferid’s best friend.”

“Oh, you’re the boy that told the doctor that you’re Ferid’s brother. So you lied.”

Shinya nervously laughed and Ferid sighed. He still couldn’t believe that Shinya was that stupid. Or he couldn’t believe that the doctors thought that they were related. Are they stupid? Didn’t he have to show them any documents? What was wrong with the doctors in this hospital.

“How are you feeling, dear?”

Like a shit, he wanted to say, but instead he tried to fake a smile.

“Better. They gave me…some strong painkillers.”

“Dear God, you don’t know how worried I was when they called me! I’ve spent here few hours but they didn’t want to tell me anything about you! I stayed with Crowley but well, he was sleeping all the time.”

It’s not like he will wake up soon, Ferid thought and he wanted to punch himself for that stupid thought, but instead he bit his lip.

He felt a hand on his cheek again and he looked surprised at Ms. Eusford. She smiled at him.

“Don’t worry dear, he will get out of this in one piece. Now you have to get well too. You scared us yesterday.”

Was it really that bad? Well, the doctor said to him that they operated him for a long time. Just how much damaged did his leg take? It’s not like he saw it without a bandage and he only woke up this morning.

The door opened again and this time it was a doctor who came into the room.

“How are you feeling Mr. Bathory?”

Ferid only glared at the doctor. Shinya laughed a bit but he pretended that he was couching. Crowley’s mother on the other hand crossed her hands and looked at the doctor almost killing him with her sight.

“Don’t you see that he is in a bad shape? What are you doing?! Why aren’t you treating him properly?”

Doctor stared at the woman, taken aback.

“And who are you? I’m not sure if I can share anything about his condition in your presence.”

Crowley mother came to the doctor, still killing him with her eyes. Ferid blinked stupidly, looking at the scene. Shinya was amused a bit but the truth was that he was scared of Crowley’s mother too.

“I am his mother in law of course.”

Oh god, not now. Ferid closed his eyes, counting to ten and Shinya had to bit his lip to stop laughing.

“What? But…You’re Crowley Eusford’s mother…”

“You got a problem with that?”

The doctor cleared his throat a bit confused and taken aback. The nurse behind him was giggling, so was Shinya, but Ferid wanted for everyone to leave immediately because he wanted to kill each and one of them right now.

“So, doctor…Any news?” he asked instead to change the topic.

“Well,” the doctor looked at Crowley’s mother but the woman was glaring, going back to stand near Ferid’s bed. “We got the x-ray of your lungs. Everything is good, we thought that a broken rib might have punctured it but you’re lucky. The ribs should heal fast in 3-6 weeks and they will be like new.”

He smiled to Ferid awkwardly and Ferid wished he didn’t.

“What about the leg?” Shinya asked.

“Don’t force it. You need to lay down but you have to do it anyway because of the ribs. We’re not quite sure about everything yet.”

“What do you mean?” Ferid’s voice was hoarse and Shinya gave him water but he shook his head. He didn’t know if he wanted to try sit and drink, it was too soon and he was too tired.

“You have a lots of stiches and cuts and we need to wait to learn if everything is fine with your nerves. You need to heal quickly, Mr. Bathory!”

“But… I will walk?” Ferid asked and the people in the room stared at him.

The doctor smiled again, more sincerely.

“If you will accept your treatment and go to the therapy then yes. You should be back to your normal self only if the nerves weren’t damaged, but you will still walk…”


“But there is possibility that if you damaged have your nerves you can feel some neuropathic pain.”

“Then what are you doing?! Treat him pro-!”

“Ms. Eusford I think Ferid is tired,” Shinya added because he saw that Ferid rolled his eyes.

He was getting tired again and he wished that they will leave him soon. New information wasn’t helpful. So there was a possibility that he might have health problems later on.

While the people were leaving the room he didn’t listen to them. He didn’t even say goodbye and he knew it was rude of him but he didn’t have the strength.

Everything was so unreal that he still thought it was just a stupid nightmare.

Crowley wasn’t with him and he squeezed his duvet. Right now he needed him more than ever. He wished he would hug him and tell him that everything will be alright.

He felt pain in his chest and he didn’t know if it was due to his ribs or his feelings.

He also felt something wet in the corners of his eyes but he blinked quickly.

Now, he won’t be crying.

He needs to be strong and get a proper treatment. Crowley will be awake soon, he will be with him and he will help him get through it. He needed to believe in it.

He closed his eyes.

He decided that the best way to kill some time was to go back to sleep as he couldn’t even read now and even watching TV made him tired.

He heard the door opening.

“Could you please…leave me? I want to sleep.”

He thought it was probably Shinya or the nurse but what he heard was so unexpected.

“Oh? And I was hoping for a nice talk.”

That voice.

Ferid suddenly opened his eyes, staring with wide eyes at the person in the door.


Chapter Text

I need to feel something, cause I’m still so far from home


When Ferid was a kid he asked about his mother only once, when he was still an innocent child like every person was once.

He couldn’t understand why he was raised only by his father whom he barely saw. He was surrounded by nannies, teachers, but he was a smart kid. He knew that he should have a mother.

Yet he didn’t.

She abandoned him and his father took him, gave him home even if he wasn’t married with his mother.

So Ferid was grateful. Because of this he could study like a normal person, he had home, he had clothes, warm meal.

Yet there was always that weird kind of feeling that something was missing in his life. He couldn’t figure it and it driven him mad because it should be easy, yet it didn’t was.

He had everything he wanted. He was one of the best students when he finally went to school. His private teachers were telling him that he was a smart kid. Yet no one told him that he was mean. That he was manipulative and arrogant. Everyone was scared that if they told something wrong Mr. Saito would be very angry and would throw them away.

Like he did with one of the nannies that told Ferid that his mother was a whore and didn’t love him.

Years later after his so called perfect life he realized what he missed in his life.

He was lonely.

He had his teachers, but they weren’t his friends. They were teaching him but they were telling him what he wanted to hear and that’s why he was so mean to them. Being taught that he should rely only on himself he pushed aside his classmates. He acted selfish, thinking only about himself.

He thought that he didn’t need friends because it was only a waste of time and he shouldn’t waste his time.

Because every time he got a good grade or was better at something his dad paid attention to him, praised him, had a dinner with him.

But the best prize was when his father was taking him outside, to meetings in his company or to some parties to show people how proud he was of his son. That was what Ferid was telling himself.

He realized that he was wrong only years later.

He wanted friends. He wanted to had someone who would tell him that he was mean, that he should stop. He wanted someone to tease with his jokes or just to talk about the book he read.

That’s why he wanted to be friend with Guren.

But Guren was an idiot and Ferid easily forget about his first failure friendship.

What hurt him the most was the fact that the only person who he thought was the only one important in his life, abandoned him.

Without even a single words. He just left him, ignoring the fact that they talked that day, that Ferid wanted to have dinner with him.

That day Ferid realized how lonely he was the whole life. His mother left him, didn’t care about him. He didn’t have a single friend . His tutors didn’t like him, doing only their job. But it was his dad who broke him into the pieces.

His dad didn’t care about him too. He wasn’t proud of him. Maybe he was a bit at the beginning, when he wasn’t so talkative and so clever, but that ended very quickly and when he realized that he wasted his time on raising Ferid, even if they barely were meeting. He left him like a broken toy with all that shit that happened in his company.

Days of calling from clients, Ur and Lest invading his house which he had to sold up quickly. Hours to trying to put himself again, to try to live on his own. He wasn’t weak, he quickly started to pretend that he was okay by spending night at clubs and then going to work when he could put on his fake mask.

But still Ferid was waiting hours, then days, then years for a single word or a call or anything from his father. But he didn’t called back even once, even if Ferid was leaving him a tons of messages.

So when Saito was standing in the doorstep in his hospital room, Ferid thought for a moment that he was dreaming because it couldn’t be true.

What Father would be doing here?

He didn’t care about him at all.

Father?” he cursed himself at how weak his voice sounded.

He was looking the same as Ferid remembered him. Tall and slim with short dark hair. He was even wearing a black suit. Ferid didn’t remember a single day when his father was wearing something else than a suit. He wasn’t even sure if he saw that man in a pajama.

Oh, so you still recognize me, good.”

Of course he would recognize him, he was still his father. Ferid blinked with confusion while his father smiled but there was no warm behind that smile.

What…what are you doing here?”

Why you abandoned me?

Did you listened to my calls?

Was I a disappointment to you?

What did I do wrong?

Why did you left me?


Saito went inside, he didn’t even wait for an invitation and closed the door. He walked few steps, walking towards the window. It was dark outside and the light in the room was making his skin pale, nearly white.

The only things Ferid shared with his father’s appearance was pale skin, reddish eyes and probably the height although his father was taller. Ferid wondered if his mother had lilac hair just like he but he had never saw a photo of her so he didn’t know.

I was just concerned about my son’s health of course.”

Few years earlier Ferid’s heart would probably start beating quickly and he would start smiling like an idiot because of his dad notice, but now? He only felt sick because he knew that it was a lie.

We both know it’s not true, father,” he said looking at his father with a fake smile. He couldn’t show a weakness because he felt that from the moment his dad took a step into this room, it was a battle and he was already loosing because he was taken by surprise.

Saito smiled again and took a few steps towards Ferid’s bed. He put his hand on the bed frame, still looking at Ferid.

My, you changed, Ferid. You used to believe in everything I said to you,” he said calmly even if his words were like poison.

Well, but that was before you left me, am I right, father?” It hurt him to have this sic game of words with the person who he admired for years but Ferid changed. So did his father or maybe he was like this from the beginning but Ferid was too stupid to notice it.

You used to be more obedient. I thought that sending you to school would teach you something but it only changed you into a typical teenager.”

Ferid bit his lip but it was only a moment of weakness before he put on his face his fake smile again.

What can I say, I was a teenager who only wanted more attention. So in the end, I was a disappointment?” he knew that asking this was a risky move, not because Saito would do something but because Saito’s words could hurt him and he didn’t know if he could endure it now that he was so weak.

Saito attacked him in the worst moment ever but Ferid couldn’t surrender now. He might be in pain now and his mind was a mess because of the too much information but he couldn’t show it.

You really think I would raise you all this time if you were a failure? No my son, I haven’t thought about you as a failure. Not until now of course.”

Ferid eyes widened. What he was talking about?

My, father words are so harsh. I can feel the pain in the chest or maybe it’s just my broken ribs,” he joked trying to maintain his fake mask.

I saw the potential in you, you were really a clever kid. Such an intelligent and obedient kid. I thought that you would replace me some day or work with me. You were really promising. When I left you…well I had some business to attend but it was kind of test my son which you failed.”

What, you thought I would start travelling across the world, searching for you, father?”

No, I thought that you will lead my company but imagine my face when I learnt that my son was an actual coward. He left my company into the sticky hands of Urd Gelas and Lest Karr.”

So that what he meant. Ferid laughed a bit, wincing a bit when he touched his rib. God it hurt even more when he tried to laugh.

You wanted me, a teenager to lead a company?”

Like I said you were a clever one but maybe I was wrong. Maybe you weren’t strong enough.”

Ferid really wanted to punch him or to do something else than lying in bed and looking like an idiot. These words hurt because it bring so many memories back. He remember all the calls from strangers, the suddenly visits by Urd and Lest, the pressure from them to give them his part of company.

Why in the earth his dad thought that he would still lead the company when he left him in such a mess? Was he mad?

I was preparing you to enter this world but when I left you for a moment you easily gave up on my company. Such a shame son, don’t you think?”

At this point Ferid was speechless. His dad was still standing near to his bed, looking at him with stoic face and a little smile. Was he always like that? Maybe Ferid was so manipulative after him?

What he should say? It was a crazy idea and he never thought about it long because Urd and Lest made it clearly that if he wouldn’t gave up his part they would probably find their own, less pleasant way to remove him from the company or from this world. So he chose the only option which was reasonable for him in that situation.

Ferid opened his mouth to say something back but he couldn’t find the words. He was lost and a bit dizzy because of the meds. He blinked stupidly and his father sighed.

But perhaps we will talk about it another day.”

Another? So his father was planning to meet him again? He was so confused.

So what, you’re planning to start catching up with my life or what?”

Saito laughed and he went to the window.

Don’t be ridiculous son. I came here for the business when I learned that you were in hospital and decided to pay a visit. And about our future meeting.”

He looked through the window and the shadow on his faces gave him a strange, even scary, aura that mad Ferid shuddered but he still was looking at his father with his mask. He wasn’t weak anymore.

Do you really think you could lead a peaceful life?”

He blinked again and then he smiled.

Well, peaceful? I wouldn’t call it like it but I find it really entertaining, father. I have a job, I have a-“

Boyfriend?” there was an irony in Saito’s voice that really irritated Ferid.

Speaking of, where is he now? I thought I would met my…future son? Should I call him like that?”

The smile on Saito’s face was so irritating that Ferid really reconsidered standing up from his bed and finally have a serious conversation with his dad.

Oh! He was with you, didn’t he? Is he hurt bad?”

Ferid stared at the wall, avoiding his father’s eyes this time. He didn’t want to talk about this, not now.

Because Crowley was still unconscious and Ferid really needed him. His father’s words only reminded him of that fact and he bit his lip. He had to be strong.

I hope he will get better soon. We must eat dinner together one day…”

Seriously, what’s the point of this visit, father?” Ferid snapped because he was getting really tired and his head hurt from this talk.

Saito cleared his throat and went again to his bed. Standing in front of Ferid he looked at him with smile.

I came back but this time I’m working with other company. Have you heard about Hiiragi family?”

Ferid stared at him a bit taken aback. His father was now working with Shinya’s adoptive family? Was this a stupid joke from the universe? What on earth was happening?

Yes, I know them. Why them, I thought they were your enemy?”

Well, they were but now my enemy is Urd and Lest and about our future meeting. You’re still part of the company Ferid.”

I gave them my signature so they work under my name. I don’t want anything with this company, they can take it.”

Oh Ferid, you’re so naïve thinking that you won’t play a part in this game but the game already started and you didn’t even realized it.”

Ferid blinked didn’t believing what he was hearing.

What are you…talking about?”

Saito laughed and waved his hand.

I mean, look around. Do you really think it was an accident?”

Ferid broke out in cold sweat. What was he talking about? From the moment he opened his eyes he thought it was a joke from the universe. That it was an accident and if the driver would still be alive he would kill him because of what he did but hearing this?

Did you…plan this?” he said with a trembling voice. He couldn’t believe this.

But Saito only stared at him and then he sighed.

It’s up to you to learn the truth, son. Get well quickly because you have to be in a good condition to lead a company. I can’t wait to see you again even if we will be standing on the other sides, but well, it will make things even more interesting, don’t you think?”

And then he just left.

Ferid was still looking at the wall in front of him.

He couldn’t believe what have just happened. Was it real or another dream? He pinched his hand and felt pain.

So it wasn’t a dream, his dad was really here. He let out a shuddered laugh. After years of calling that person, seeking for answers he get ‘this’. His visit was so quick or maybe it was longer. Ferid lost the track of time when he was in the hospital.

Instead of answers he got more questions.

His father was back and he was working with Hiiragis. But why? He hated that company. Was it to irritate Lest and Urd? To destroy them and their previous company? It was a clever move yet still so shocking.

Ferid wondered if Lest and Urd knew about it but he won’t call them. He has never done that. They were only calling him in real emergency when they still needed his signature but he hadn’t seen them for two years.

But his father return didn’t shock him as much as the information that his accident could be something more than fate.

Did someone really tried to kill him? Was he a reason why Crowley was now in coma?

Was he a reason why he fucked up both of their lives?

His vision blurred and breath quicken. He felt pain in the chest and he clutched his hand on his clothes, trying to calm his breath but it wasn’t helpful.

Nothing was working and there was only one person who could help him now.


He swear he could hear Crowley’s voice in his memories but it wasn’t enough. He wanted him near him, to hold his hand, to hug him, to wrap his hands around his warm body to feel safe, to tell him what happened and to receive some advice.

Crowley was his salvation but he wasn’t with him now.

I need to…see him,” Ferid breathed out trying to open his eyes. He didn’t even realize that he closed them when he tried to calm his breath.

He threw away his duvet and grabbing the bed frame he tried to stand on his feet. He regretted that immediately because he felt terrible pain in his leg that he almost screamed but he couldn’t gave up. He needed to walk and to see Crowley!

He clutched the wall, trying to stabilize his posture. It hurt so much that he bit his lip. He took another step wincing in pain but he tried to focus on anything that the pain. He tried to imagine Crowley’s voice, to think about the memories.

About the time they first met,

About their dates.

About their passionate nights.

He took another step walking on the corridor. The pain in the leg was agonizing but he was still trying to walk.


He heard a pitched voice of a nurse and he cursed. In the same moment the pain in the rib made him wobble and his legs gave up. He knelled on the floor and he punched the floor underneath him.

So weak, so pathetic. He couldn’t even walk on his own now to see Crowley.

Mr. Bathory what are you’re doing?! You’re hurting yourself!”

Shut up and leave me alone!” he snapped not in the mood. He tried to stand up but he had troubles.

He didn’t notice that another arms were trying to help him but he realized that it was a doctor who was trying to push him back to his room.

No! Leave me you asshole! I need…to go!”

Mr.Bathory calm down!”

What that idiot was saying?! He couldn’t calm down, he needed to go. He was trying to release himself from the doctors arms but then he felt a sting in his arms.

He looked at his right and saw a nurse holding a syringe.

That bitch gave him some drugs to calm him?! What was wrong with them!

He tried to talk but his vision blurred. Once again he looked at the corridor, reaching his hand towards it.

He didn’t see Crowley.

He blacked out.


Ferid didn’t know who was more angry. The doctor, the nurse who he punched accidentally (he didn’t remember that), Shinya, because of course the doctor told him, or Crowley’s mother, who threatened the doctor to give her information.

Now that he was back in his mind he felt stupid for his ‘lovely trip’ but at that moment he was going crazy and Crowley was the only one who could bring him back.

It was another day when he woke up and the angry face of Shinya, and later Crowley’s mother, made him regret waking up.

Both of them called him stupid for his action and very reckless because he torn out few stiches on his leg. The doctor gave him a very long talk about how he should be careful with his leg because he didn’t want to spend another hours trying to stich it back.

For the first time he also saw the state of his leg when the nurse changed his bandages and it made him feel stupid even more because of the number of stiches. He wondered how many of them would left permanent scars. But it was too early to ask this question so he decided not to worry much about it. He had more important worries on his mind right now.

So, will you tell me why you acted so stupid?”

Ferid wanted to ignore Shinya but he knew that he couldn’t avoid this talk.

It was an act of impulse without thinking.”

Shinya crossed his arms. Ferid tried to mislead him with his smile but Shinya didn’t buy it.

You’re seriously gonna lie to me?”

No, I don’t… I wasn’t in my mind…I was lost and I wanted to see Crowley.”

Shinya sighed and sat on the chair next to the bed.

I understand that you’re missing him and I can’t replace him but… you could hurt yourself more. I talked with a doctor and he told me that as soon as you could move a bit you would see Crowley. Just you’re not in the best shape to be even in a wheelchair nor walking.”

Ferid rolled his eyes and looked more serious at Shinya.

You’re thinking I’m an idiot? I know that.”

So why did you tried to walk?”

My father was here.”

Shinya gasped looking at Ferid with wide eyes.

Tell me you’re joking.”

I wish I could but my daddy decided to visit his son when he heard about the accident~,” Ferid said that in his usual playful tone even if the memory was still hurting him.

That’s it? After years of ignoring you he just came here to visit you? That’s bullshit!”

Sometimes Ferid hated when Shinya was reacting so impulsive to him but that was part of his character. He only sighed.

Well, no shit Sherlock, I figured out that the moment he told me that lie. I know he doesn’t…care about me, he made it clear when he left me.”

Shinya was looking confused, trying to get used to what have happened but he was still lost.

Okay, so what he wanted?”

He told me he’s here for business.”

Well, that’s more convincing. He’s planning to take over the company?”

I wish it was like that Shinya but it appears that it’s more complicated.”

What do you mean?”

Ferid looked at Shinya with serious look.

He’s working now with Hiiragis.”

Hearing the name of his adoptive family, Shinya went pale. His lips trembled and his breath shuddered. He tried to smile but he shook his head and brushed away the hair from his forehead.

Is this a joke?”

I hope so Shinya. He told me only this and that we will meet again in the future. I don’t know what to think of it.”

Ferid decided to leave for him the information about the accident. It still could be a tease from his father. He needed first to learn more on his own about his accident. He couldn’t believe in his father’s words so easily because it could be a mislead to only manipulate him. His father was planning something and he couldn’t be deceive like that.

Shinya tried to calm himself. Thinking about his family was still not something easy for him. Every time he thought he was free from them something reminded him that the truth was that he would never be free from them as long as they were still alive.

Alright, that shocked me. First, we need to learn more, then we will try to do something with this. I’m glad you told me this Ferid.”

Shinya smiled to Ferid gently and Ferid only sighed, smiling playfully.

Looks like we’ll have a lot of work when I will get from here~.”

If you will come out alive. You still didn’t talk with Crowley’s mother.”

Ferid groaned and closed his eyes.

Tell her I’m asleep.”

I don’t think that will be needed.”

Ferid quickly opened his eyes and smiled weakly when he saw that Crowley’s mother was standing in the doorstep.


Haha, alright, I will leave you two alone!” Shinya smiled nervously and Ferid wanted to kill him.


Shinya quickly left the room, bowing to Crowley’s mother and Ferid tried not to panic when Crowley mother was looking at him.

Well son, I suppose you have a lot to tell me.”

Why they couldn’t leave him to rest?!


In the evening Shinya opened the door to his apartment. He was a bit tired of spending another morning at hospital and then working few hours at the café. Ferid wanted to kill him after leaving him in the care of Crowley’s mother but he had to work this day. And he knew that despite the murderous aura around Ms. Eusford, she was only worried and wouldn’t harm Ferid.

He took of his jacket and went to the living room. Guren was laying on the couch while watching a movie. He smiled when he saw Shinya and Shinya quickly leaned next to Guren. Well, he was practically on Guren and he wrapped his arms around him, giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

Tired?” Guren asked and Shinya nodded.

This day was too exhausting.”

How’s Ferid?”

Shinya groaned and Guren smiled, brushing his fingers in Shinya’s white hair. He loved the color of them, especially in the morning.

He did something stupid today.”

Guren snorted.

Well, nothing new then.”

But he could hurt himself! Anyway, that’s not the worst information I learned today.”

He was silent for a moment ad Guren was waiting for him to tell him more.

So, what was it then? I see that you’re worried.”

Ferid’s dad visited him yesterday.”

Guren blinked. He was confused. He didn’t know much about that man, only that he was the owner of the Progenitor company and the truth was that he didn’t really pay attention to his son’s life yet his son was so looking up to him that Guren couldn’t understand what was wrong with this family.

Why? Finally he understand his mistakes?”

I wish but no. He’s here for the business. He’s working now with Hiiragis.”


Guren cleared his throat, apologizing to Shinya who winced when Guren said the word in higher voice.

Yeah, I couldn’t believe too. What a stupid coincidence, don’t you think?”

Well, it is indeed but… it doesn’t concern you anymore. It’s not your business. I mean, I don’t know what will this mean for Ferid, but you’re not a part of Hiiragi company anymore so maybe you won’t even see him.”

Shinya shook his head slowly, still laying on the top of Guren.

Something is fishy here Guren. I have the feeling that it won’t be that easy and that this man is planning something. I mean…don’t you think it’s a bit suspicious? That the moment Saito is back in town, Ferid had an accident?”

Guren was silent for a moment trying to gain his thoughts.

Are you assuming that… Saito was trying to kill Ferid?”

Shinya sighed.

I don’t know…maybe, maybe not. I don’t know much about this man. I mean, at some point of his life he cared, well, maybe not much, about Ferid. He’s still his father so the question is, is he capable of doing something like this to his son? Did he want to remove him completely from Progenitor company only to have his right back? I don’t know… I need to learn more about the accident.”

Guren didn’t like were this was going.

I don’t like this. You shouldn’t dig more Shinya. If you’re right and someone tried to kill him then stay away from this. It could be dangerous.”

Maybe you’re right but he’s my fried.”

Yeah but I can’t lose you.”

Shinya moved a bit so that he was now staring at Guren. He smiled and Guren touched his cheek.

You won’t idiot. I belong to you.”

And then he leaned to kiss Guren. Guren wrapped his arms around Shinya, pulling him more to him and making the kiss more passionate.

Shinya was glad that he had Guren right now and that he could talk to him.

That made him even more sad about the fact that Crowley was still in coma because he knew that Ferid needed him especially right now. He was hoping that Crowley would wake up soon until something will happen.


Days at the hospital were like a blur to Ferid. He lost the track of time he spent here. After a week he could normally breath without wincing in pain or sleeping the whole day to avoid the annoying pain.

Speaking of annoying things, Shinya was visiting him every day and he was a bit of irritated now because he was seeing Shinya more than regularly. He knew that Shinya was trying to cheer him up but he had enough of it. Although he preferred Shinya’s company than Crowley’s mother one, because that woman was a scary person.

She made clear that if she will see or hear again that he tried to stand up she will tie him to bed and he wasn’t sure if she was joking.

One day she was brushing his hair, because lately they were one big mess because he couldn’t brush them by himself, and he was so scared because Crowley’s mom wasn’t looking like a gentle person but she didn’t pull out a lot of his hair at least. He didn’t end up with bald spots.

After a week his ribs weren’t bothering him that much so he finally could sit on the wheelchair.

Shinya took him to see Crowley and the sight bring a bit of relief to Ferid.

Crowley was looking peaceful. If Ferid didn’t know about the accident he would thought that he was only sleeping. But he saw the bandage around his head that reminded him of the fact that Crowley was in coma.

The doctors were still waiting for him to wake up and he was still stable. Nothing was wrong with the rest part of his body and that was a small relief.

Ferid wanted to lay next to him, to wrap his arms around his torso to feel his smell that always lulled him to sleep. But he couldn’t and he didn’t want to do this in front of Shinya. So when Shinya left them for a moment, to give them some privacy Ferid took Crowley’s hand and squeezed it, touching his cheek with it.

Come back to me idiot,” he whispered. He didn’t cry. From the day his father visited him he decided that it was time to be strong again. He was hurt ad injured but he couldn’t cry or lament about this situation. He needed to be strong.

So he played a role of model patient. He spent another two weeks in the hospital and when the doctor told him that his ribs were almost healed Ferid was glad.

Finally some good information.

The doctor told him that if he wanted they could discharge him from hospital only if he will be resting at his home without work and any more exertion.

Ferid was thinking if he should do this. Being in hospital meant that he was near Crowley, that he could see him every day but at the same time he was getting sick of this room and he wanted to be back at his apartment. He even missed his cat Mika. When he was absent Crowley mother took care of him and he wondered if his cat survived this. Maybe he will stop acting like spoilt demon.

He also wanted to start gaining information about his accident and about Saito.

The policemen were only twice at the hospital. First to take his statement and then to inform him that the driver was dead and that the investigation was still ongoing. He wondered why they acted so slow because the case relate to Crowley and it was Crowley’s team who lead the case. Something was weird here.

It was time to start acting.

That’s why Ferid decided to discharge from hospital even if leaving here Crowley hurt him. He knew that he couldn’t visit him on his own but it’s not like Crowley would wake up soon.

That terrified him but he needed to accept that fact.

The doctor arranged his therapist to go visit him in his apartment. He needed to start his therapy soon because his ribs were okay and the leg was still healing. They still couldn’t tell him a lot about the damage and the consequences because they needed more time to see the process of healing.

Walking was still a pain but he didn’t want to be on wheelchair so he accepted crutches even if he hated that.

But the pain when he opened with Shinya the door to his apartment was even worst that the pain in his leg. Because the apartment felt lonely without his stupid cat and without Crowley.

It was cold and silent.

Shinya helped him but he quickly get rid of him because he wanted to be alone.

The first night was the worst. He was lying in his bed, couldn’t sleep. His spacious bed felt so empty ad he wanted to curl and wrap his arm around himself but he couldn’t do it because of his ribs. He felt pathetic.

He was lonely and even if year ago he was used to living alone, now he felt terrible.

The next one was better because his cat was back. He looked a bit thinner because Crowley’s mom forgot to feed him. Ferid wanted to laugh because the cat suddenly was so nice to him. The beast was even sleeping with him.

In the same time Ferid was trying to find as much information as possible but he was at dead end. He found nothing. The news were silent, only brief information about an accident. It was the driver’s fault but he was dead so he couldn’t find nothing on him. He only had the name but the only fact he learned was the fact that he was working as pizza delivery and he was a normal guy, based on the pictures he found on his social media pages.

The only innovation during the day was the call from Krul, shouting at him that he was dead for being silent so long but she told him to get well, in her own way of course, and that he still had his job.

Rene even wrote to him to get well soon and even Chess wrote ‘Don’t die now Bathory! Do it later.’ Such a cute message!

He missed his job of course. It gave him a pleasure and when he was at hospital Shinya brought him so many books so he couldn’t wait to discuss them with customers. But he was stuck in his apartment for a while and there was no way od going back to work. It really irritated him.

And when Ferid thought that nothing will surprise him in this day (well there was the one thing that he was still waiting but deep down he knew that Crowley would probably be still in coma, the question was how long…) the universe did another joke.

Someone rang a doorbell to his apartment and Ferid, groaning, went towards the door with his crutches. Walking with this useless thing was a nightmare, specially that his ribs were still hurting him sometimes. But his leg was still too weak and still too hurt to walk on his own.

I’m coming!”

When he opened the door his eyes widened in surprise.

What was it? The month of unexpected visits from his ‘old friends?”.

Ferid wanted to laugh but he didn’t want to act like an insane person so he only blinked when he saw that Urd Gelas and Lest Karr were standing at his doorstep.

Chapter Text

My head is haunting me and my heart feels like a ghost



Lately Ferid really wondered what was wrong with the universe. First his father paid him an unexpected visit and now Lest Karr and Ur Gelas were standing at his doorstep, looking the same as two years ago when he had to sign some papers for the company.

That only meant one thing.

Things will get really serious in the future.

“Ur and Lest, what brings you here?” he asked and if he could, he would have probably crossed his arms with judging look but he couldn’t do that because of his crutches. So he only stared at them with raised eyebrows and his usual smirk.

“Good evening Ferid, I hope we are not bothering you.”

“Oh, I was just in the middle of the party, don’t you see?” he joked but their faces were serious as always.

He wondered if they were capable of laughing. They were so much like his father. No wonder that the three of them were in charge of Progenitor company.

“So, will you answer my first question?” Ferid asked, although he knew that they were probably here because of Saito’s return to the city. He figured that out quickly but he still asked.

“We have some very important things to discus with you so I hope you won’t throw us away,” Urd told that while pointing at the suitcase that he was holding and Ferid looked at him attentively.

“Alright, come in,” he moved so that the two of them could enter his apartment. He closed the door and pointed to the table in his kitchen. The two men sat there and Ferid sat on the opposite side of them not without wincing in pain. Damn, his leg was still hurting even if he walked only a bit.

“We’re sorry that we’re bothering you when you’re not in the best health,” Urd said with politeness even if Ferid knew that he didn’t care about him at all. Even if Ferid was at the death’s bed they would still pay him a visit.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Urd~,” Ferid said playfully, sitting comfortable in his chair and starring at his visitors.

“So, let’s go to the business then,” said Lest. Of course the kid was impatient, he was always like that.

Urd was the type of person who at least pretended to be nice but Lest was the one who didn’t care about it at all. The only thing he cared about was himself and that stupid company.

“So impatient Lest, you didn’t change at all. You’re even the same height as years ago!” Ferid joked. When he saw the irritation on Lest’s face he smirked. Oh, he missed teasing people so much. Days at the hospital with only Shinya at his side really drove him mad so of course he couldn’t waste the opportunity to tease Lest. 

Urd cleared his throat while Lest cursed silently.

“So like Lest said, let’s get to the business.”

“Alright, tell me what you want but I think it has something to do with my daddy, right?”

Both of the men raised their eyebrows but Ferid was still smirking.

“You know that Saito is back in town?” Urd asked in serious tone.

“Yes, father paid me a little visit in the hospital saying that he was worried about me.”

“Worried? Bullshit. And you didn’t tell us because?” Lest said that crossing his arms. He sounded really irritated and for a moment Ferid thought about Krul. His boss and Lest were so much alike. They were even the same height!

“Because I assumed that the two of you already know about his return. Besides, it’s not like we are  best friends, right? Why should I inform you about this?” Ferid said in his playful tone but there was so much venom to his words that Lest didn’t have a chance to reply because Urd silenced him with a gesture.

“Alright, that’s not important. We knew about this so at least no one is shocked that he returned but yes, he’s back and you probably know, Ferid, that he’s working with Hiiragis.”

“He mentioned that too.”

That situation was still so unrealistic. For the whole life Ferid was listening to his father’s speeches about destroying the rival company lead by Hiiragi family and now he’s learnt that Saito was working with them. If he did that to irritate Lest and Urd then it was a brilliant move because Ferid now saw how irritated the two of them were.

“We don’t know what…Persuaded him to work with them but we need to accept the fact and learn the reasons standing behind his decision.”

Urd was right but still Ferid didn’t know why they were telling him this and what that had to do with him.

“Still it doesn’t explain why you’re here and what do you want from me because of course you aren’t here to talk about sweet memories concerning my father.”

Lest cursed again but Ferid was still smiling. The only one who was serious here was Urd, who took out some papers from his suitcase.

“We want you back at the company.”

Ferid raised his eyebrows. He didn’t expect that. He thought that maybe they wanted to erase him completely but that meant contacting Saito which they didn’t probably want right now.

“Me? Back? Well, let me correct you, we use ‘back’ when we’re returning to something but as I remember I was never part of it. You have my signature and I didn’t even made a single decision here so I don’t know what you’re talking about~.”

He saw that Lest was barely holding himself but unfortunately he didn’t break. Things were really serious if they really tried to act ‘polite’.

“Of course, you’re right Ferid, but we want to change it. We want you to become our associate, just like your father was.”

“And why do you think I will agree? You made it clear that you don’t want me there back when my father left me with the right to the company.”

Ferid crossed his arms, looking with frown at the men opposite him. Something here was suspicious.

“You were young back then Ferid. Of course, you had the potential and you were quite well educated to lead the company in the future, but you were in a bad state after your father have left you and we needed someone composed to lead a company with us, so that’s why we were working under your name. But now…”

“But now I’m super mature and really educated in this part after years in the university,” Ferid said with the irony. “Seriously, get to the point.”

“And who is impatient here?” Lest asked and Ferid only sent him his death smile.

“Well at least I’m taller.”



Ferid raised his eyebrows. He never heard Urd with his voice raised so it surprised him. Urd looked at Lest sternly and he cleared his throat.

“We hoped that you will help us with destroying Saito.”

Ferid snored and he would laugh even more but his ribs were still bothering him sometimes.

“By doing what? Standing by your side? You think that father would care about the fact that I’m working against him?”

“No but that would still surprise him.”

“I don’t think so. It’s quite the opposite. He expects me to be back at the company, that’s his plan so going back to the company means going straight into his trap.”

Ferid still didn’t know what to think of it. Lest and Urd suddenly wanted him back and he was sure that Saito expected that. That’s why he visited him in the hospital, to warn him that these two would want him back and that’s why they would meet in the future.

It was a trap. The question was who was responsible for this trap.

Was it the trap made by Urd and Lest to irritate Saito, because they thought that he still cared about Ferid, or was it the trap made by Saito, to play his sick game for God knows what reason.

Everything was so unclear. It was driving him mad.

“Of course he expects you in the company, he probably expected that you will be leading it when he’s returned but he must have had been shock when he’s learned the truth.”

Well, maybe a bit, Ferid thought.

“But I don’t and I’m not interested in it.”

“Alright, enough of it!” Lest groaned and stared at Ferid, really irritated.

“I get that you’re used to working in that shitty bookshop, living your peaceful life, but don’t expect Saito to leave you alone. You might think that he cared about you, but he didn’t! He will probably do everything to destroy your life or-“

“Say one more word and I won’t hold myself back,” hissed Ferid, starring threateningly at the short man in front of him. He clenched his fists.

The atmosphere in the room changed quickly from the acceptable to dead silence and Urd only sighed. He was the only one who didn’t lose his temper.

“Both of you please calm down. Ferid, what Lest is trying to tell you is that Saito isn’t a nice person and he won’t leave you alone now that he’s back. Don’t you think it’s suspicious that you had the accident at the same time Saito returned to the town?”

Ferid suddenly stared at Urd with wide eyes. At first he had his doubts but Urd was the second person that told him that his accident was suspicious and it came as a shock. It wasn’t fate. Someone really wanted to kill him. The realization of this really hit him and he needed to take a deep breath to calm himself down. He couldn’t break in front of them. Damn it, why everything was so complicated.

“Alright, let’s say someone wanted to kill me. Why do you think they wouldn’t try again in the future when I will be working with you?”

“We don’t know that, but at least you working with us is a chance to destroy Saito and destroying this man will erase a lot of problems, don’t you think?”

Ferid stared at his leg and he sighed. He was in a bad condition and they expected him to start working against his father. It was like going to war without one leg. He really wanted to laugh.

“Bathory…I know you want to learn answers so that’s the best opportunity you have,” said Lest, trying to be a bit more polite this time.

“That’s quite a lot of information in one meeting, don’t you think?” Ferid tried to joke but he must have sounded really pathetic.

“We know that and that’s why we give you one week to think about this. We wish we could give you more time but we don’t know when Saito will strike or what will be his next move.”

Saito was silent since his last visit in the hospital and that was quite suspicious. Ferid knew that sooner or later his father would pay him another visit and he didn’t know if he was ready for another ‘sweet’ meeting.

“It’s really nice of you to give me any time to think,” Ferid said ironically with his smirk, going back to his usual self.

“These are the information that we collected on Saito when we heard that he was back. Read them, think. And remember one thing Ferid, destroying Saito now means destroying Hiiragis as well. I think that it would bring something good to certain people, don’t you think?”

Ferid blinked in confusion as he was staring at Urd and then it hit him.

 “You will get your own team when you will agree, but you can choose whoever you want as your personal assistant.”

 They were planning something.

“Well, I know your number. It might be my first time using it~.”

Ferid smiled to them and that made Lest wine but Urd was serious as always.

“Thank you for your time and I hope you will get well soon.”

Both of them stood up and Ferid slowly joined them. He hated so much that fake concern.

“Oh, it was such a pleasant talk, don’t you think Lest?”

He smiled to the smaller man and Lest only grunted.

“Yeah, whatever, you better call.”

Urd nodded and then the two of them left Ferid in his apartment. Ferid stared at the door and he sighed, leaning his head against them. He heard his cat meowing in the distance and he closed his eyes. He needed to think about that.

He wished Crowley was there.


“Fucking Bathory, arrogant like his father,” Lest snapped when he was in the car with Urd.

“Language, Lest. Be patient.”

“Remind me once again, why do we need him? I really can’t stand him!”

Both of them were sitting in the back and Urd nodded to the driver to drive them back to their company.

“To irritate Saito of course.”

“But he expects Ferid to be back at our company! What are you planning, Urd!”

Urd only smiled, looking through the window.

“Ferid is a smart man, he will help us destroy Saito.”

“But he still has his daddy issues, you know that?”

“He has them now but it will pass quickly when he will see the true nature of Saito. He already has his doubts. You saw his face when we told him about the accident. He will agree. He’s not himself now and he will want revenge after hearing that someone wanted to kill him and because of that his lover is in a coma.”

Lest smiled at him.

“Well, you really planned this, I’m amazed. But still, we could do this without him.”

“You’re right, but having him will give us some new ideas, besides…It’s not only about Saito. It’s about Hiiragis as well.”

“What do you mean? What Bathory has in common with Hiirgagis?”

Urd pointed at the suitcase and Lest took another folder. Inside he saw a file with every information they had on Ferid and it was a lot. There were papers about the place he was working in now with a photo of Ferid putting books on the shelves. There was also a file about where he lived, with a photo too. There was a separate file concerning Ferid and his relationships, especially his current relationship with Crowley Eusford, a policeman. Basically there was everything here they could use against Ferid in the future.

The next file had a photo with Ferid sitting in the café with a man with white hair, both of them talking and drinking coffee.

“Who’s that?”

“Shinya Hiirgagi. A writer.”

“What writer has to…Wait. Hiiragi, as ‘that’ Hiirgai?” Lest frowned and Urd smiled.

“He’s adoptive son of Tenri Hiiragi. He’s not living with them because he escaped, but he’s still paying the money. He has quite a big debt and surprisingly, he’s also Ferid’s best friend.”

Lest started smiling, linking the facts.

“So, you know that Ferid will work with us because if he will destroy Hiiragais, his friend will be free?”

“If they’re really ‘best friends’ then maybe it could drag Ferid to our company.”

Lest starred at the photo again, and then at other files and photos. He didn’t know that Urd was watching Ferid so closely during last years. But that was so Urd’s style. Both of them knew that Bathory was smart and even if he didn’t care about the company he was still a threat. Unless he started working under their eyes.

“You told him that he could take anyone as his personal assistant. Are you hoping that Bathory would take that Hiiragi writer?”

Urd sighed, looking through the window again.

“I’m hoping for this, to be honest. Just imagine Tenri’s face or that asshole Kureto when they would see him at our side. It won’t be very beneficial but still, they will be angry and you know how much I adore to irritate them.”

Lest smiled and closed the file.

“Damn, Urd. You really thought about this.”

“Well, let’s say we are going to the war with no holds barred.”


Ferid couldn’t focus on anything for the next days. His conversation with Urd and Lest was still fresh in his mind and he still haven’t decided what to do with their preposition.

He knew that agreeing would be the same as walking straight into the spider’s web but on the other hand both of them were right. He doubted that Saito would leave him alone and as much as he hated the idea of this, working at the Progenitor company would at least give him a brief look at what Saito was doing and what he was planning.

But, at the same time, it was what Saito wanted.

Ferid groaned and he covered his face with a book he was reading. Mika stared at him with curiosity. The cat was lying on his stomach, napping peacefully with occasional break to play with his owner.

He still didn’t tell anyone about his situation.

He didn’t find any information about his accident, only more doubts and questions, and as much as he wanted to go to the police station to argue with every policeman there to tell him everything, he couldn’t do that due to his condition. He knew that Lacus would have probably told him everything, the same with Horn because both of them were close to Crowley. If they’ve heard that the accident was on purpose they would have definitely helped.

But unfortunately his leg was still in pain and the thought of walking so much sent shivers down his back He wanted to be well as quickly as possible but he knew the state of his leg and that it wouldn’t be so easy. Of course Shinya could help him to get to the police station but he didn’t want to drag Shinya into this.

He didn’t want to, but the more he thought about it the more he realized that he would have to.

So instead of lying for hours, doing nothing but worrying or thinking too much, he called Shinya.

Hiiragi showed at his apartment an hour later with some groceries.

“I decided to help Crolwey’s mother this time and I did the shopping instead of her.”

“Thanks,” Ferid said while he closed the door.

“Don’t stand, go sit on the couch,” Shinya said while he was unpacking the groceries.

“You know the doctor said that I have to walk.”

“Yeah, but not that much, your leg is still healing and some of the wounds are still fresh. Are you really paying attention to what your therapist is saying?”

“Only to what is important~,” Ferid said with a smirk while he sat on the couch, Shinya only rolled his eyes.

“Of course. At least I’m interested in this.”

“But I’m bored of lying in bed~,” Ferid winced, observing Shinya.

“But you don’t have a choice. What about your ribs?”

Shinya finished unpacking the groceries and sat on the armchair next to the couch.

“Better, I don’t feel any pain, which is good because I can walk normally with the crutches, although I still hate them.”

“Well, I understand you. I hated them too when I broke the leg. So, what do you want to do? I can spent few hours with you, we can watch something.”

Ferid sighed and he settled more comfortable on his couch.

“Actually I phoned you because I need to talk with you.”

Shinya looked at him a bit surprised and he nodded.

“Alright, I’m listening.”

“Five days ago someone paid me a visit-“

“Don’t tell me Saito was here!” Shinya said loudly and Ferid sent him his look to silence him.

“No, it wasn’t him. It was Lest and Urd, my father associates from Progenitor company.”

Shinya stared at him surprised.

“And what do they wanted from you? I thought they had your signature to do what they wanted.”

“Well, at first I thought that they wanted to sign some more important papers or to remove me completely but it was quite the opposite. They wanted me back at the company as their equal associate.”

Shinya’s eyes widened. Ferid didn’t even look at Shinya to know that because all emotions always showed on Shinya’s face. It was like reading an open book.

“Wait, what? After everything… But they didn’t want you there, what changed their minds?”

Ferid looked at Shinya and he didn’t even have to reply when Shinya gasped.

“Saito! It’s because of him!”


“I can’t believe it. It looks like they’re scared of him then. So what, they think if you join them Saito will be less…threating?”

Ferid sighed and he started petting his cat when it laid on his thighs.

“They said that they want my help with destroying him.”

“But… I’m sorry to tell you this but what are they hoping for? That Saito would be surprised by the fact that you’re helping them? He doesn’t care… He won’t be taken aback.”

“And that’s the same thought I had but they said that at least I would know what he was plotting and I would prevent him from executing his plans…And then destroy him with their help.”

Shinya crossed arms on his chest, being lost in thoughts. Something was suspicious here and both of them were aware of this.

“But I assume that this is what your father wants, right?”

Ferid nodded and Shinya bit his lip, thinking hard.

“So agreeing to this job is basically a trap set by Saito or by Lest and Urd because god knows what they’re planning in this game. Stay away from this Ferid, it sounds fishy.”

Ferid looked at his cat, being lost in thoughts too. He looked at Shinya then with serious look.

“I wish it was that easy but… I’m still not sure about this,  I can’t investigate in that state… but the accident… I really thought that it was a sick joke from the universe telling me that me, an ignorant asshole who was thinking only about himself for his whole life, didn’t deserve such a gentle man like Crowley and the accident was a reminder of that. I wish it was like that but when Saito was at the hospital he told me that this accident didn’t look like ‘an accident’. Back then I thought that he was telling me this only to tease me or to mislead me into thinking about strange scenarios. But when Lest and Urd showed they told me the same thing, that it was suspicious that I had the accident at the same time Saito returned.”

Shinya looked at him but he wasn’t as surprised as Ferid had expected. Ferid frowned and crossed his arms.

“You don’t look surprised, what is it?”

Shinya sighed and he brushed his hair away.

“Well, I was thinking about this on my own but your words only assured me in my suspicions. From the beginning it all looked strange. I mean, the driver just drove into you. It wasn’t your fault but he hit as if he was planning this from the beginning. The case is still ongoing and I wanted to find more information but they didn’t told me anything besides…Well that man with violet hair, Lacus? Yeah, it was him. He wasn’t quite sure about everything and he looked like he wanted to tell more but unfortunately they didn’t believe me that I’m your brother and they were silent. But the rest…It’s really suspicious and I couldn’t believe that someone just occasionally wanted to go all kamikaze and to hit a random car. It had to be on purpose!”

Ferid hoped a bit that maybe Shinya will tell him that his suspicions were stupid, that he was overreacting and it was indeed an accident but this! It gave Ferid even more doubts but the thought that someone tried to kill him made him shiver.

But he wasn’t a normal person so he started laughing. Shinya sent him a worrying look.

“Guess someone really hates so that much that he wanted to erase me from this world! Amazing! And just when I thought that my life will be boring! I seriously needed this!”

Ferid said with irony, but Shinya stared at him with concern because he knew that he was lying and that his friend was scared. Everyone would be if they had learnt that someone tried to kill them.

And the worst part of this was that because of this Crowley had suffered and ended up in a coma.

No one said that but both of them were thinking about this in this moment.

“But guess I’m really a stubborn person and I won’t die easily. That’s why I need to learn the truth. Who wanted to kill me and why… although I have my suspicions who it was,” he said with bitterness, smiling sadly.

Shinya stared at him, still worrying.

“You think it was Saito?”

Ferid was silent and Shinya knew that his friend was thinking that it was Saito. He tried to kill Ferid. His son.

“So…Will you agree to work with them, then?”

Ferid sighed, being back to his more comfortable position on the couch.

“Probably yes. I know it’s a trap but staying from it could be more dangerous. If father really tried to kill me then he won’t stop. So that’s the only way I can prevent him from doing this. To destroy him completely.”

Shinya sighed, lying his back on the armchair.

“I see that you made a decision. It’s really stupid, Ferid. You’re basically walking straight into a trap without a weapon.”

“Hey, who said I don’t have a weapon. I’m smart~.”

Ferid joked but Shinya only sighed, not amused.

“Shinya, you know what that means?”

Shinya stared at him surprised, trying to understand what he meant.

“Saito is working with Hiiragis. When we will destroy him…We will destroy Hiirgais as well.”

Shinya’s eyes widened in surprise, reality hitting him and he opened his mouth.

“So that means…”

“You won’t have to pay your debt. You will be free.”

Shinya’s mouth was still open. He couldn’t find words.

Free? He forgot what that feeling was. He thought that he was free because he was living happily with Guren. He woke up every morning to the best sight ever, lying in bed with the man whom he loved.

But he wasn’t free. Every money he earned he had to give back paid to the Hiiragis. They weren’t poor but he felt so bad about the fact that Guren had to share his debt because he had this stupid writing block and he couldn’t write another book.

Being free from paying to Tenri Hiiragi sounded like a delusional dream.

But was it really so delusional?

“You will do this for me?”

Ferid stared at him a bit taken aback and he cleared his throat being a bit embarrassed.

“Of course, I’m not doing this only for you idiot! You seriously think that this is the reason I want to agree? Idiot.”

Ferid lied. It was one of the main reasons to agree to work with Urd and Lest. Shinya had helped him so much these days and he was the only one he could still talk to normally, beside Crowley’s mom, because Crowley was still unconscious.

At least he could do this.

“Well, if I were to agree then I would have to find myself a personal assistant because I don’t want anyone from their company, it could be their spy-“

“I will help you.”

Ferid almost stood up because Shinya’s statement surprised him so much. He looked with wide eyes at the man on the armchair next to him.

“You will what?!”

“I will be your personal assistant.”

Ferid snorted.

“You’re insane Shinya, you know how dangerous this world is.”

“Yes I…Okay, I don’t know but if your job will depend on destroying Hiiragis then I’m in.”

“Don’t be ridiculous Shinya. Guren would kill us for doing this.”

“The same with Crowley, Ferid.”

“Well it’s not like he will wake up anytime soon!” Ferid snapped and he bit his lips.

Shinya stood up and sat near Ferid, putting his hand on Ferid’s arm.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

Ferid laughed and shook his head.

“I know…I also know that he would never let me do this… But if this means learning the truth about the accident then I have to know who did this to him.”

Shinya smiled at him, squeezing his arm.

“But you don’t have to be alone in this. We both know it’s a trap and you will be alone there. No one to trust in this battle. You have to have at least one person who could help you.”

“But why you?”

“Well, being in the company would give me a lot of ideas, don’t you think? I can turn this later into the story.”

Ferid snorted.

“Seriously you’re doing this for a book?”

“NO! Of course not!”

Shinya panicked and Ferid smirked.

“Yeah, I know but Shinya, I’m serious. I know they expect you to show there.”

Shinya stared at him surprised.

“What do you mean?”

“When they told me that I can choose whoever I want… First I thought that it was just a proposition but then I thought about it more and it was clear. They want you in their company too to irritate Hiiragis. They know that we are friends. They were probably observing me for a long time.”

Shinya breathed out a long sigh and blinked.

“Well that’s…wow… But what can I do. I still want to help you.”

Ferid stared at him with serious look.

“Are you sure about this? Because there won’t be turning back.”

Shinya smiled at him, looking self-confident.

“Hundred percent sure. We will destroy Hiiragis and Saito. Together as a team!”

Ferid didn’t know what to think about this. Having Shinya on his side was a comforting idea but still, it was a dangerous task. He didn’t know if it was a good idea.

“Well, Guren will kill me.”

Ferid said while he took out his phone to call Urd.



Shinya bit his lip trying to avoid the piercing gaze from Guren. He felt as if he was killing him with his eyes. Shinya cleared his throat while he was sitting on the couch.

“But Guren let me-“

“I told you to stay away from this and you do the opposite by walking into the lion’s mouth.”

“Well, you’re overreacting now.”


Okay, Guren was now really angry and Shinya wanted to hide under the table, or disappear. He didn’t saw him that angry for a while.

“You told me that someone, probably Saito, wanted to kill Ferid and now both of you want to destroy him and Hiiragis. THAT’S LIKE ASKING SOMEONE TO KILL YOU!”

Shinya bit his lip again and looked innocently at Guren with big eyes trying to calm Guren down.

“I’m sorry?”

Guren wanted to shout again but he counted to ten and after taking a deep breath he sat next to Shinya.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I know but you still love me.”

THAT GUY! Guren wanted to be mad at Shinya but the problem was…He couldn’t. He wanted to talk him out of this, to make him realize that what he wanted to do was stupid and crazy, and that he should stay away from this.

But the problem was that it was already too late and telling that Shinya was…pointless.

“I know you’re worried about me but I had to do this! I can’t sent him alone there!”

“Yeah but…why you?”

“Because I’m his best friend! Guren, I knew you would be mad but I still agreed to this.”

Guren sighed again and this time Shinya took an opportunity and hugged his boyfriend to calm him a bit. Guren grunted but he wrapped his arms around Shinya.

“You will kill me with all this drama you know? And I thought that we had a peaceful life.”

Shinya laughed, snuggling his nose into Guren’s neck.

“I know, but maybe it will turn into something good. I will have so many ideas for my new book and… I could be finally free, Guren.”

Guren looked at the top of Shinya’s hair, trying to guess what look Shinya had on his face, but instead he only kissed the top of his head.

“But risking so much…”

“I know…”

But the decision was made and Guren had no other choice than to support his boyfriend.

“Just promise me…that you will be careful and when the things will get really nasty…you will stay away from this… both of you because if I won’t kill you for this…then Crowley probably will.”

Shinya laughed.

“Yeah, Ferid will soon have a hell in his apartment.”

From his young days Shinya was told that he was such a dreamer, living in a delusional world. First it was his not so unrequited love for Guren and now he was stuck to the hope that Crowley will wake up soon.

He saw that Ferid has almost given up and so he decided that he won’t give up and that he will do everything to bring hope back to Ferid.


When Ferid finished talking with Urd he sighed and lied back on the couch.

Shinya left few hours ago to prepare himself for the talk with Guren, and Ferid wondered how Ichinose would react.

He was probably cursing him now because he’s dragged his precious boyfriend into this mess.

It’s not like it was Ferid’s decision.

Shinya’s statement surprised him too and he didn’t want to agree to this. But Shinya was so stubborn about doing this with him that he couldn’t say no.

Besides, having someone he could trust at such a hard time was a really tempting thought.

He also knew one thing.

Crowley will be so angry at him.

He promised him that he will forget about his past and start a new life, yet he was back at the square one to the times when he was part of the company even as a kid walking beside his father.

But maybe Crowley would wake up when things will be finished?

If he would….

Ferid hugged the pillow, pushing his hair away from his face. He put them into the messy bun because lately he didn’t even care about his look.

That was so unlike him but he didn’t have the strength.

He realized lately, when it was raining, his leg was hurting the most because of the cold, and right now he grunted because it was raining and it was cold outside.

Of course he was taking painkillers but they weren’t strong as the one they gave him at the hospital.

He only hoped that the pain won’t be permanent and that his leg would heal quickly because it was driving him mad.

He felt lonely and the leg was killing him. What will be next?

His phone rang.

He opened his eyes and slowly tried to reach the phone. He cursed at himself that he’s put it so far away.

He picked up and he covered his eyes with an arm.

“Yes?” he didn’t care how weak and hoarse his voice sounded.

“Ferid? It’s about Crowley.”

Chapter Text

Come sink into me and let me breathe you in



Ferid immediately sat upright when he heard Crowley’s mother voice on the other side of the phone.

“Ferid, it’s about Crowley.”

“What’s with him?”

His heart was beating so fast and thousands thoughts went through his mind.

Did something happen?

Maybe his condition worsened?

Was he…dead?

“Oh, don’t worry honey! He just woke up!”


Ferid couldn’t believe in what he was hearing. It sounded so unrealistic that he thought he was dreaming. It couldn’t be…

“Oh mom, just give me a phone!”

Wait but that was Crowley’s voice! Ferid blinked confused, still not believing what was happening.

“Ferid, are you there?”

Ferid sighed in relief and smiled. It was him!

“Yes…Is it really you Crowley?”

He heard Crowley’s laugh on the other side and god, he missed that sound so much!  He smiled even wider because the sound of it was like the prettiest melody. Okay, maybe he was overreacting but he really missed Crowley’s voice, especially his laugh.

“Yes silly, it’s me but I must confess that I was really confused when I woke up.”                                         

“Yeah, I can relate to that.”

Even if Ferid was the one who woke up earlier he was still confused and it still felt as if the whole accident was just a nightmare, but it wasn’t. He knew what Crowley was feeling and he was probably even more confused because the last thing he remembered was driving a car.

“They told me that they want to keep me under observation till morning-“

“Don’t worry I’m coming there!”


Ferid blinked his eyes few times and he heard Crowley’s sighing.

“Listen, mom didn’t tell me much but I don’t want to even imagine the state you are in now. Stay at home, they will be doing a lot of examinations on me so there is no point in you sitting here and doing nothing. Go to sleep, rest and if there is nothing wrong with me then they will discharge me in the morning and I will come to you.”


“I miss you too but I don’t want to tire you.”

Ferid took a deep breath and sighed.

“Alright, I will wait. But I don’t know if I will be able to sleep peacefully.”

Crowley laughed again and Ferid also heard some other voices in the background.

“I need to go. Take care Ferid.”

“You too.”

“I don’t want to see you here Ferid, you understand?”

He heard Crowley’s mother voice in the background and he laughed again. The conversation ended and he looked at his phone again.

He pinched himself in the hand and felt pain. It was real, he wasn’t dreaming.

Crowley was awake!

He wanted to jump but well, he couldn’t do it so he smiled to the phone and looked at his cat.

“You heard Mika, Crowley is going back. Someone will give you better food.”

Mika meowed only and wiggled his tail. He jumped on his owner thighs and sat there, waiting to be petted.

“You spoiled cat, you only care about the food!”

But he petted him anyway, still smiling.

Finally, some good information after the hell he went through.


Ferid was right when he told Crowley that he won’t be sleeping.

He tried, he really did, to sleep a bit during the night but he couldn’t. Thousands of thoughts were on his mind and he was going over each of them over and over again.

He wanted to see Crowley, to talk to him and to feel his touch. Just to be with him.

So in the end he was awake almost the whole night and the moment he calmed down a bit and tried to sleep, his leg started to hurt. After taking painkillers he was wide awake again.

It was the longest night of his life.

He tried to read but he gave up quickly because he couldn’t focus.

He tried to watch some movie on his laptop but it was pointless too.

Even his cat totally ignored him and went to sleep.

At eight o’clock Ferid gave up and, after a quick nap, he got up from the bed and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and make himself presentable.

He regretted this decision as soon as he saw his reflection in the mirror.

Heavy bags under his eyes and red eyes from the lack of sleep stared back at him. His skin was paler than usually and his hair was a tangled mess from keeping them tied in a bun. He decided to brush his hair at least but Crowley will probably worry even more when he sees him in this state.

He put his hair in a low ponytail, placing it on his shoulder, then he put on a comfortable blouse with some leggings. Putting them on his leg was a challenge because the whole leg was bandaged but he hadn’t had a choice because wearing his skinny jeans was out of question.

He went to the kitchen to make coffee. He only ate a quick sandwich but he wasn’t really hungry. He was waiting patiently for Crowley. He told him that he would be here in the morning and Ferid started to be a little impatient. He could write at least if he was coming or not!

He hoped that really nothing was wrong and that his boyfriend was okay.

He tapped his fingers on the mug, sitting on the couch.

What if he imagined the conversation? What if it was a dream?

He looked at his phone history. The phone call from Crowley mother’sin the evening was there. So it was real.

Then where was he?

He should call them but they might be busy anyway. He groaned and put his face in the pillows, trying to at least take a quick nap.

Lying on the couch, he heard footsteps and he immediately rose from the couch. He heard that someone was putting the key to his door and he smiled, walking towards the door.

Crowley opened the door to Ferid’s apartment.

He was here.

Alive and well.


The taller man looked at him and without wasting any second, he went towards Ferid and almost crushed him with his arms in a hug.

“Finally I can see you,” Crowley whispered as he was stroking the back of Ferid’s head.

Ferid smiled and he relaxed when he felt the smell of Crowley. He wrapped his own hands around him, enjoying the touch.

“Alright boys, I will leave you two alone.”

Ferid realized that Crowley’s mother was there too and he felt stupid that he didn’t notice her.

“Good morning Ms. Eusford, I didn’t see you,” he said a bit embarrassed.

“Honey, I know for whom you were waiting. Call me later son and have fun!” she winked, putting Crowley’s bag on the floor and then she left.

“God, your mother sometimes is so-“

But Ferid didn’t finish because Crowley put his hands on Ferid’s cheeks and kissed him hard on the mouth. The kiss was so sudden that his legs almost gave out under him from the sensation.

He missed Crowley so much and the kiss reminded him of this. He missed the taste of his lips, the sensation of the kiss and the gentle touch he felt. He couldn’t focus on anything, his body was warm from the feeling of Crowley’s lips on his own. The kiss was passionate and long. Ferid put his arms around Crowley’s neck to pull him even more towards himself, still enjoying the kiss. When their lips parted, both of them were breathing heavily because of the lack of air. Ferid felt a bit dizzy but he smirked to Crowley. It was a nice surprise.

Crowley surprised him even more by lifting him so now he was carrying him in his arms. Ferid normally would protest but he didn’t have the strength right now.

“Crowley! You left the hospital, idiot!”

“But I’m in a good shape and my mother told me a bit about your leg. You can’t walk too much!”

“Too much, yeah, but I can stand for a few minutes.”

“Well, but your state gives me opportunity to lift you whenever I want and you know how I love to have you in my arms.”

Crowley smiled to him and Ferid returned it with a smirk.

“Look at you, you just woke up and you’re already horny, you perv!”

Crowley laughed and then he went to the couch. He put Ferid there and sat next to him, holding his hand. He was smiling but suddenly he was looking at him with concern.

“Time to be more serious. How bad is it, Ferid?”

He squeezed his hand and Ferid only sighed.

“It’s better…”


Crowley looked at him with ‘don’t lie to me’ look and Ferid only rolled his eyes.

“Alright, the ribs are healed so they don’t bother me, unless you crushed them again with your hug,” Crowley paled, realization hitting him but Ferid only shook his head. “It was just a joke, you didn’t do anything. The ribs are ok, but the leg…Well, it’s pain in the ass.”

“The right one?” Crowley asked, looking worried.

“Yeah, unfortunately the car hit us in the right side and my leg took the most damage. But it will heal, I just need to attend the therapy.”

Crowley took a deep breath and sighed.

“Shit, how did this happen. I mean… I remember that we were driving safely, you screamed and then…it’s just blackness… I don’t remember anything. I woke up and I realized that I was at a hospital. My mother told me how long I was in a coma…”

“Took you long time.”

Crowley bit his lip and he brushed away hair from his forehead, worried. He had a big plaster on his forehead, covering the wound. Ferid wondered if he would have a scar, either way it would be covered by his bangs, so it won’t bother him that much. Besides Ferid really didn’t pay attention to such things. It wasn’t only the face Ferid adored in Crowley.

“I was lying in the bed unconscious while you were in such a bad state…I should have been with you for the whole time.”

Ferid saw that Crowley was feeling guilty so he put his hand on Crowley’s cheek to try to cheer him up a bit. He knew that changing Crowley’s mind won’t be an easy task but still he tried.

“Crowley, look at me. It wasn’t your fault. You did nothing wrong. It was that driver’s fault and that shithead is fucking dead so we can’t even put him in jail, but you did nothing wrong.”

His voice was calm and quiet, almost like a whisper. Crowley still didn’t look him in the eyes, sighing.

“But I left you alone, Ferid…”

“You had nothing to do with this. The only one who is guilty here is the dead driver.”

Crowley was still looking unsure but finally he looked into Ferid’s eyes, smiling a bit. He put his hand on Ferid’s, squeezing it.

“I know what you’re trying to do but I can’t help feeling awful.”

“Well, you can still make up for it by taking care of me, don’t you think?” Ferid tried to tease him and it probably worked because Crowley smiled at him wider.

“Of course, I’m all yours now.”

Crowley leaned towards Ferid and kissed him lightly on the lips. Ferid smiled and put his arms around Crowley’s neck, pulling him towards him. He wasn’t satisfied with only one, light kiss. He wanted more from his lover.

“I really missed you.”

“Well, I didn’t see you one day and I missed you too, so I can’t imagine what you were feeling.”

Crowley said while he was looking at Ferid, searching for more damage but at least his face was okay. Of course Crowley wasn’t a person who would pay attention to such a trivial things as small scars but he knew that Ferid would feel really bad about it, so he was glad that he was okay. He smiled, kissing his cheek.

“Well, like I said, now you have the opportunity to make it up to me, don’t you think?” Ferid said flirtatiously and then fluttered his eyelashes, trying to seduce Crowley.

He didn’t have to ask him because Crowley smiled with understanding, his lips still on Ferid’s cheek, and he started kissing him again, slowly this time. First he kissed his cheek, then he went lower to kiss his jawline and slowly he went to his lips, to put there some tender kisses.

Ferid closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of his lover lips on his skin. He smiled and sighed feeling the touch. When Crowley kissed him on the lips, he returned the kiss, but after the moment the taller man went lower, his lips ghosting over the weak spot near Ferid’s ear. He moaned with pleasure. Crowley knew where to kiss Ferid. He wanted to give him as much pleasure as possible. He licked the sensitive spot and bit it softly, which made Ferid moan.

Crowley put his hands on Ferid’s back, pulling his blouse up a bit. First he touched his back, feeling the warmth of his partner’s body and then his hands went lower to the edge of his leggings to touch his hips. Ferid in the meantime put his hands in Crowley’s hair, making them into a mess. Both of them were already so close, their breathes getting quicker and hotter.

Crowley stopped kissing him and he looked at him with a smile.

“Let’s go to the bedroom, it’s more comfortable there.”

“Alright, you’re in charge today~,” Ferid said flirtatiously and Crowley picked him up again. Ferid laughed a bit and, while Crowley was carrying him, he was kissing him on the neck, trying to give pleasure to his partner as well. He felt safe in Crowley’s arms, he would have never dropped him (unless it was on the bed) because he was strong and he was always teasing Ferid how light he was, and that’s why Crowley loved carrying him around.

“Oh, you’re so impatient!” Crowley laughed, being a bit distracted by the kisses, and then he slowly put Ferid on the bed. He threw his shirt away and then he helped Ferid with his blouse. When he saw Ferid naked under him he gently touched his ribs.

“Are they really okay?”

Ferid only rolled his eyes.

“Yes, they are. Don’t ruin the mood~.”

“Promise me that if it hurts-“

“Yes, I will tell you. Don’t worry~. I’m not fragile.”

Ferid put his hands on Crowley’s face and kissed him on the lips, sucking a bit on his lower lip. He then deepened the kiss and played with Crowley’s tongue till they had to part to catch a breath. After that, Crowley went back to kissing his neck, going lower to Ferid’s collarbones, leaving butterfly kisses there as well.

Ferid was breathing fast as he tilted his head back to give Crowley easier access to kiss his neck. He missed this so much and he was quite surprised that only kisses were doing this much to him. Usually he wasn’t in that state so quickly and that only proved how much he wanted Crowley. He was addicted to Crowley’s touch and his hands were so gentle on him that he was drowning in this pleasure. His heart was beating so fast in that moment.

It was a nice change after everything he went through alone. Finally Crowley was at his side, ready to help him. His touch was enough for Ferid to be himself again.

Crowley gently pushed him on the bed and went on top of him. Ferid’s messy ponytail was sprawled on the pillow and some hair were sticking out of it, making it even more messy. But it’s not like Ferid bothered about his looks at this moment. Crowley stared kissing his torso and sucked on one of Ferid’s nipple. Ferid moaned in pleasure feeling the tongue on his skin, and he twined again his hands into Crowley’s hair, spreading his legs further so Crowley could lean on him more. He felt warm inside, panting as he was enjoying this pleasure. He closed his eyes, moaning Crowley’s name.

The taller man went lower and he was kissing Ferid’s abdomen, sucking his skin and probably leaving red marks. Usually it was Ferid who liked to leave marks on Crowley so that surprised Ferid in a good way.  Crowley put his hands on Ferid’s hips again to pull him more towards himself and then he put his hands on the edge of Ferid’s leggings. He started taking them off slowly,  aware of Ferid’s injury and when he finished, he stared at his leg.

It was cowered in bandages from his feet to his thigh, ending nearly at his briefs. He touched it gently, almost like he was scared that he could hurt Ferid, and he bit his lip while looking at it. Ferid said that it wasn’t his fault, that it was that driver who did that to them, but still, Crowley couldn’t stop feeling guilty. It wasn’t just the fact that he was driving. It was the fact that he was in a stupid coma, lying practically unscratched while Ferid was alone, barely breathing and walking. He swore that he will protect him and give him all of his love, yet he couldn’t be with him when he needed him the most. He felt so pathetic.

Crowley was silent for a moment and when Ferid felt that his partner stopped kissing him, he opened his eyes.

“Hey,” Ferid put his hand on Crowley’s cheek, making him look at him. “Don’t think about it. Relax.”

Ferid stood up a bit so now he was kneeling in front of him and he put his hands on Crowley’s torso, slowly going down to the belt of his jeans. He unbuttoned them and then he put his hand there, smirking to Crowley. He put the other hand on Crowley neck, stroking it and making Crowley look only at him. The taller man was breathing fast, his eyes memorizing Ferid.

He heard Crowley groaning from his touch and Ferid was glad that it made Crowley forget about his health. He was thinking too much, Ferid needed to make him think less, to be more distracted. He wanted him to relax and enjoy this as much as he was enjoying it.

“Today…” Ferid whispered, being close to Crowley’s ear, his hand still in his trousers, feeling how hard Crowley was, “You’re only thinking about me, about this. Nothing else.”

Crowley groaned again and Ferid smirked seeing that it worked. Crowley grabbed him by his ass and Ferid kissed him hard on the mouth. Crowley returned the kiss with passion and when they parted, both of them were breathing quickly. Ferid hurriedly helped Crowley take his pants off.

Crowley, once again, laid Ferid on the pillows. He quickly took off Ferid’s underwear and he did the same with his own. Ferid smiled at him, enjoying the view, and Crowley only opened the nightstand to take out the lube.

He was here so many times that he didn’t ask where it was, he knew Ferid’s apartment as good as his own. To be honest he felt here like home.

Ferid spread his legs wider while Crowley put the lube on his hand.

“Are you ready?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions, Crowley,” Ferid teased him and Crowley without hesitations put first finger inside Ferid.

Ferid’s eyes widened and he gasped. He realized that he didn’t have sex for such a long time when he was at a hospital and then waiting for Crowley to open his eyes. He was already covered in sweat, gasping for air.

“It’s been a while, don’t you think?” Crowley whispered, leaning on top of Ferid.

Ferid only moaned with pleasure, feeling Crowley playing with him inside, and he tightened his grip on Crowley’s arms.

Seeing what his touch was doing to Ferid, Crowley slowly put another finger in and then, the third one. Ferid’s face was flushed and Crowley was breathing quickly too. Seeing his partner in such a state Crowley thought he was quite adorable, being all red and blushing. He kissed him hard on the mouth, parting from time to time only to catch a breath. Their kisses were now more wet and sloppy as both of them were breathing hard.

Crowley moved his fingers inside again and Ferid almost screamed with pleasure.

“Stop playing with me…” Ferid moaned, trying to focus and to look at Crowley with at least a smirk, but he couldn’t. His mind was blurry and he kept closing his eyes. Crowley’s touch was so good.

“But you said that you wanted to play a bit, didn’t you?”

Crowley whispered near Ferid’s ear and then he nibbled him at it, knowing how sensitive Ferid’s ears were. Ferid groaned again, whispering his lover’s name.

The taller man decided to not play so much with Ferid, so he took his fingers out and then he finally entered Ferid. The smaller man moaned even louder, breathing quickly.

Crowley first moved slowly, trying to find the best pace and he put his hands on Ferid’s hips again to steady him. Crowley closed his eyes, enjoying this moment. Seeing that Ferid was almost close he leaned down. Ferid put his legs on Crowley’s back, crossing them to steady himself. Crowley took his hand, putting it above Ferid’s head, their fingers interwined, and Ferid put his free hand on Crowley’s neck.

“Look at me,” Crowley whispered, stroking his neck, but even if Ferid tried to look at him for longer, he couldn’t because he was almost close to coming. Crowley smiled to him and then he started kissing his face again, starting with his cheek going down to jawline and liking him there.

He then went lower, to the neck, when he heard Ferid moaning louder when he kissed him hard, leaving mark at the place near the jawline.

Ferid grabbed Crowley’s face, quickly regaining his senses, and kissed Crowley hard on the mouth. Crowley for a moment was lost in that kiss. He knew what his touch was doing to Ferid, but Ferid was still a great kisser, and feeling what Ferid was doing with his tongue, he lost it too and he came just after Ferid. He rose up and propped himself on his hands, they were both were looking at themselves, breathing hard.

Ferid’s face was flushed and his eyes were wide, still unfocused. He smirked to him but Crowley didn’t miss the slight grimace that appeared on Ferid’s face.

He suddenly realized that he was holding Ferid’s leg.  He cursed at himself, he totally forgot about it during sex.

“Shit! I didn’t…Does it hurt?”

Ferid looked at him and rolled his eyes.

“Don’t ruin it~.”

He grabbed Crowley’s face again, kissing it but Crowley quickly released himself from Ferid’s touch. Ferid stared at him a bit surprised and…hurt?

But it was only for a moment because when Crowley leaned on the pillows, he grabbed Ferid and pulled him towards himself, so now Ferid was on top of him. Messy hair from the destroyed ponytail covered his face like a curtain and Crowley put his hand in them, playing with them a bit so he could see his face.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“You didn’t do it. I’m fine,” Ferid said in his playful tone, looking at him a bit curious.

Crowley touched his cheek, stroking it gently.

“You’re really beautiful, you know?”

Ferid rolled his eyes, blushing a bit. Not that he already was all red from that activity. He didn’t practice or move a lot lately so he felt really tired. And he didn’t sleep a lot during the day.

“You want to sleep? You don’t look so well.” Crowley asked him in a worried tone as he was looking at his tired eyes.

“Well, I would enjoy a quick nap…but I can’t leave my leg like this. I need to change the bandages because I’m all sweaty and I need to keep it clean.”

Crowley nodded.

“Alright, I will help you.”

Ferid smirked and leaned to kiss Crowley as a ‘thank you’.


Ferid closed his eyes, smiling to himself while Crowley was gently washing his back. He was sitting on the stool in the bathroom. Both of them were still naked.

“You know I could do this myself?”

“But I promised you that I will help.”

“Silly, I only asked about changing bandages, not washing me~,” Ferid teased, letting his head fall to his chest, revealing his neck – he had his hair put in a high, messy bun.

Crowley leaned there and kissed him on the nape of the neck.

“But I wanted to do it too anyway,” he whispered.

Ferid sighed. He wasn’t complaining of course. It was a really nice experience and he still felt like he was dreaming because Crowley was still there, just right behind him with his gentle touch.

He still felt a bit drowsy after the sex but he relaxed when Crowley was washing his back. Sometimes both of them took their shower together, sometimes they made out there but this was different. He seriously regretted that Crowley didn’t wake up sooner because he enjoyed being taken care of. But he wouldn’t say that to Crowley of course.

Crowley put sponge on the shelve and he stood in front of Ferid. Ferid opened his eyes, smirking when he saw naked Crowley. Even if it wasn’t the first time he was seeing him naked like that. It was still a really nice view because Crowley was well built and muscular. Ferid was really lucky that this gentle man had such a gorgeous body but so different from his own. He was skinny, well-toned in some parts and really pale while Crowley had a bit darker skin color with muscular torso. Both of them were so different but they fit so well.

Crowley looked at him serious as he kneeled in front of him. Ferid gave him a curious look, wondering what was on his partner’s mind.

Crowley touched gently the top of his bandage on the leg.

“Can I take it off?”

“The bandages are near the sink,” Ferid said in his usual tone and he closed his eyes. It’s not like he was scared of his wounds. He didn’t like seeing them, besides Crowley was taking care of it and he didn’t want to see his pitying look. He hated that.

Crowley took the bandage off revealing the pale skin. He loved Ferid’s legs because they were slim and perfect.

Right now his leg was covered in many wounds. Some of them were deeper, some of them were still red and some almost healed. He felt worse knowing that this perfect skin was damaged because of some asshole who couldn’t drive.

He gently touched one of the wounds, the one that was almost healed, near his knee, because he was scared that he would hurt him. He suddenly felt pathetic again but this time he was angry that he couldn’t even punish the guy because he was already dead.

Instead he decided to do something better. He promised Ferid that he would take care of him so he leaned and kissed him there. He kissed almost every cut. He didn’t bother that there were so many of them.

When Ferid felt Crowley kissing his wounds he opened his eyes, looking surprised. He felt…weird. It was a nice gesture but still so intimate. His cheeks were probably red so he looked the other way, trying to cover his face with his hair. Damn it, Crowley and his gentle touch making him blush like a stupid teenager.

But the kisses were so gentle and loving that Ferid felt like every one of them was taking his pain away. It sounded stupid but he felt better.

“You sap, you are supposed to change my bandages, not kiss me,” he snorted.

“You don’t like it?” Crowley asked, still kissing him and Ferid didn’t answer. He only cleared his throat feeling ashamed. He wasn’t the type to get embarrassed easily, yet Crowley’s kisses and gestures made him blush and he felt that his heart was beating really fast.

He closed his eyes again, trying to think about something else while Crowley was still kissing him and just when he relaxed, he suddenly opened his eyes.

“Crowley!”, he gasped, surprised when he felt Crowely’s mouth near his cock. Crowley only smiled seeing that his partner was turned on again.

“You are supposed to…Crow-! Shit!”

Ferid gasped, moaning again, and he quickly put one of his hands behind him to hold the edge of the stool to steady himself and then he grabbed Crowley’s hair with the other one, pulling him closer, panting hard.

Crowley put his hands on Ferid’s hips, pulling him towards himself while he was working him with his mouth. Hearing Ferid’s moans he smiled inside. He didn’t plan this of course, but seeing the awful state of his leg and Ferid’s reaction to his kisses gave him this crazy idea. He wanted to give him pleasure, so why don’t give everything to him. Both of them had a hard time and long break from sex so Crowley didn’t even hesitate.

Ferid felt shivers going throught his body and he was breathing hard, his head tilted back. He tried to tell Crowley to stop but he didn’t want him to stop to be honest. He felt amazing.

“Crowley if you won’t…stop…then I’m gonna-!”

He didn’t finish because another moan escaped his mouth when he felt Crowley’s tongue. His warm hands were still on Ferid’s hips and he grabbed Crowley’s hair harder, feeling that he will come soon.

His mind was almost blank when he did and his vision swayed a bit. His hand was trembling, still trying to hold himself on the stool and he was panting, his cheeks red.

Crowley finally looked at Ferid and he enjoyed the state his lover was in, confirming that he did a good job. He licked his mouth and tilted his head to look at him flirtatiously.

“So, I think I should wrap your leg in bandages.”

“You…asshole…” Ferid panted, trying to smirk but he only lowered his head down, still trying to catch his breath.

Damn, he missed him.


Shinya opened the door to his apartment in a hurry and he hanged his coat in the corridor.

“Guren, are you there?”

He asked and he went inside. He looked around but his boyfriend was nowhere to be found. He slowly went to their bedroom and opened the door.

“Ah, there you are!”

Guren almost jumped when he heard Shinya’s voice.

“God, Shinya you scared me!”

He was unbuttoning his shirt and was almost half the way down when Shinya suddenly opened the door.

“Why are you so surprised, I called you,” Shinya pouted, and Guren only rolled his eyes.

“I didn’t hear you. I’ve just got back from school and I wanted to change,” he said while he got back to unbuttoning his shirt.

“Well, I can see that,” Shinya said with the smirk and leaned on the doorframe, observing flirtatiously while Guren was stripping off.

“Enjoying the show?” Guren snorted.

“Of course!”

“There is nothing that you haven’t seen” Guren said, while he hanged his shirt on the hanger. He was standing only in pants and Shinya was relishing the sight in front of him, biting his lips.

But Guren didn’t have the time to play around so he put quickly his loose t-shirt on.

“You wanted something?”

“You – I mean!” Shinya cleared his throat, embarrassed with the fact that he was caught, “I have some good news!”

Guren crossed his arms on his chest and looked at him, frowning.

“Go on.”

“So, Crowley’s mother phoned me-“

“Why the hell does she has your number?”

“And she told me that Crowley is awake! He woke up yesterday and they discharged him this morning!”

Shinya smiled and Guren nodded.

“Well, that’s a good news then.”

Guren and Crowley weren’t on good terms and the two of them, especially Crowley, didn’t like the other much, but even if they weren’t friends, Guren still wouldn’t wish for an accident to happen to anyone. It was a tragedy and he was glad that Eusford was okay.

“Yes! Finally Ferid will have someone.”

“But you know what it means, right?” Guren smirked to him an Shinya looked at him confused. Then his eyes widened and he gasped.

“Oh god, Crowley will kill us!”

Guren laughed seeing Shinya’s face.

“Well, you wanted this now it’s time to face consequences.”

Shinya bit his lip.

“Ferid would probably occupy him today…but he will tell him sooner or later…Well, he most likely will vent his anger on Ferid so I’m safe…I think…”

Guren laughed again and he came to Shinya, placing his hands on Shinya’s arms.

“Don’t worry, I will protect you. Although I agree with him.”

Shinya gasped with fake surprise.

“You traitor! You are supposed to protect me no matter what!”

Guren only smiled more and leaned to kiss him lightly on the lips.

“Also since when do you agree with Crowley?” Shinya said, breaking the kiss and Guren only rolled his eyes.

“Since you and Ferid are doing stupid things. But let’s change the topic, shall we?”

Shinya pouted but he nodded, wrapping his hands around Guren’s neck.


“I have some things to finish but later we can go to see a movie.”

“But Guren-!”

“No buts! I’ve already bought tickets. Don’t look at me like that, I got paid.”

Shinya was happy of course but still… he felt bad. They shouldn’t waste their money now that it was only Guren who was supporting them because of Shinya’s writer block. He wanted to enjoy his life with Guren, go on a proper date with him but, at the same time, he didn’t earn much at the café and the novel was still in the first stage aka planning the plot with so many plot holes.

Shinya sighed, giving up.

“Alright, I will work on my novel, then!”

Or more like stare at the blank page but he left that thought for himself. Guren smiled to him.

“Don’t worry about money, Shinya. It’s not like we don’t have anything. I can still take you to the cinema sometimes. Besides, you will earn more at the company and it will probably give you a lot of ideas for your novel.”

Shinya smiled to him and nodded. Guren was so kind to him now.

“Although I still don’t like this idea,” Guren said and Shinya only kissed him lightly on the lips.


“I wanted to go to sleep.”

“You won’t go if you don’t eat anything.”

“Meanie~,” Ferid pouted while he was sitting at the table, looking at Crowley in the kitchen. Ferid was all clean, wearing only his underwear and grey, loose T-shirt, which he was sleeping in. His hair was loose on his back, without any tangles because Crowley brushed them earlier.

“So, what do you want?”

Ferid wanted to say ‘nothing’ but seeing that Crowley crossed his arms and looked at him his eyes saying ‘don’t even try this’ he only rolled his eyes.

“Whatever you will cook, just hurry~,” he said and took his phone to look at the messages.

“Hmm, I would love to cook you something tasty but I see that mom made a soup and I think it will be best for now if you want to go sleep.”

“Whatever,” Ferid said bored and looked at the message from Shinya. He wrote to him that he was glad that Crowley woke up (Ferid wasn’t even surprised that Shinya had Crowley’s mother number) and wished him a good day. He only replied quickly ‘thanks’ and rolled his eyes when Shinya immediately replied asking if he’s having fun with Crowley.

Ferid stared at Crowley in the kitchen, wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants, being all comfortable. Yeah, he was having fun.

Crowley returned few minutes later with two bowls of soup. Ferid thanked him and started eating slowly. Crowley was eating while he was reading a piece of paper.

“So, according to this you should take that medi-“

“Wait, are you reading my medical prescription?”

Crowley stared at him surprised.

“Well, yes, I need to know, which meds I should give you.”

Ferid rolled his eyes.

“Crowley, I’m not a kid, I know what I should take.”

“But now I’m taking care of you.”

Ferid groaned, returning to eating his soup.

“Sitting with me at the table and you’re not even paying attention~,” he teased him, taking a spoon to his mouth.

“Well, I thought I gave you a lot of attention earlier,” Crowley smirked to him, putting away the paper.

Ferid instead touched Crowley’s leg with his foot under the table.

“I like to be in the center of your attention all the time, dear, “ he winked to him, and Crowley cleared his throat, blushing a bit. So adorable!

Both of them quickly finished their meal, talking about trivial things such as what happened when Crowley was in a coma or what Ferid was doing.

“So, Shinya visited you a lot?”

“Yeah, he was at hospital almost every day. Even Guren came with him a few times but I told him to get lost.”

“Still it’s nice of him.”

“I thought you didn’t like him?” Ferid asked, smirking.

“I do, but I think he acted polite in his own idiotic way,” Crowley nodded his head in approval, and Ferid only shook his head, playing with a spoon and smiling.

“So, you probably read a lot of books when you were bored?”

“Well, yeah…” Ferid told it while he tried to cover a yawn, but Crowley immediately noticed it.

“Alright, that’s it. Time for bed.”

“Woah, again?” Ferid teased him while he curled a strand of his hair around his finger.

Crowley stood up, ignoring his comment, and he went to Ferid. Ferid looked at him, frowning when Crowley grabbed him.

“Hey! I’m not a kid, put me down!”

“I thought we talked about this. I’m taking care of you.”

“But I can walk on my own!”

“No you can’t that much besides you’re barely awake.”

Ferid decided to give up, so he wrapped his hands around Crowley neck and let him carry him to the bedroom.

He gently put him on the bed, just like few hours earlier, only this time they acted differently. Such a domestic scene, he thought when he leaned on the pillows and Crowley joined him under the duvet.

Crowley leaned comfortably and then he pulled Ferid towards himself and the smaller man leaned on Crowley’s chest.

“You don’t have to sleep with me, it’s still early, ”Ferid mumbled with his eyes closed.

Crowley smiled and he put his hand on Ferid’s head, stroking his hair and playing a bit with them.

“I’m tired too, so I will sleep a bit with you too,” he replied, and Ferid snorted.

“You’re not tired of sleeping?” Ferid joked, and Crowley smiled only.

“Not with you.”

Crowley kissed the top of Ferid’s head and Ferid smiled a bit, finally being able to relax.

This night he finally fell asleep without any problems.

Of course he had his nightmares. He saw the crash, the sudden light and Crowley’s face covered in blood. But this time he didn’t feel like drowning, like someone was stopping him from holding Crowley.

This time when he woke up in the middle on the night he saw Crowley next to him, sleeping peacefully and being alive and well.

He didn’t wake up Crowley because he knew that he was tired too, so he only smiled to himself, trying to be calm and get himself more comfortable in his boyfriends arms, trying to sleep again.

He felt safe.


“Tell me you’re joking.”

“Well, I wish I could,” Ferid said, trying to smile.

Yesterday he spent a fantastic day in Crowley’s arms, feeling his love. But he couldn’t live in this dream his whole life and he needed to tell Crowley sooner or later what he did when Crowley was in acoma.

So he told him that he’s agreed to work with Urd and Lest. He told him about Saito too.

And now Crowley was standing in front of him with his arms crossed. Ferid was sitting on his couch with Mika, but that traitorous cat left him quickly when he felt the dangerous atmosphere. Such a coward!

“Are you crazy?”

The worst thing about Crowley was that he rarely screamed or talked in higher voice, yet his calm tone could be scary too, especially when looked at you with a frown and sharp eyes.

Ferid tried to put his fake smile on but Crowley’s frown only deepened, so he decided to act more mature.

“Well, it’s not like I had a choice, Crowley.”

“Yes, you had! You shouldn’t have agreed!

“But I need to know the truth about who tried to kill us and what Saito had to do with it!”

Crowley’s eyes widened. Oh, he forgot to mention that. But guess it was too late now so Ferid only replied to Crowley’s shocked expression with a stupid smile plastered to his face. He fucked up.

“Someone tried to kill us and you’re telling me about this now?!”

“We were busy yesterday~,”


Crowley rose his voice and Ferid decided to shut up. Crowley was really angry right now.

The taller man sighed, counted to ten before he calmed himself down and he started walking slowly from one side of the room to the other. Ferid was observing him from time to time, still avoiding his eyes. Crowley was so scary sometimes. He probably had that after his mother.

“So let’s start again, what happened?”

Ferid cleared his throat, preparing to tell again his story.

“Well, we had an accident that day and I thought that it was just an accident, a stupid fortuity. But then when my father visited me in the hospital, I started getting suspicious that it wasn’t ‘an accident’. He told me that ‘the game’ began and that it was an intended action. Urd ad Lest told me the same thing when they were here. That  it’s suspicious that I had an accident at the same time Saito returned.”

“What did the police say?”

Ferid snorted but he cleared his throat, forgetting that Crowley was a policeman too.

“Nothing to be honest. The case is still ongoing.”

Crowley put his hands in his hair and sighed.

“Alright, I will visit them later and try to learn more but god, Ferid! If it’s true and they wanted to kill you then you should stay away from this!”

“And do nothing?! Crowley if I will ignore it then I won’t be aware of what my father is planning!”

This time it was Ferid who was looking seriously at him.  It wasn’t time for joking. It was an important matter. Crowley bit his lip and sighed again. He slowly walked towards Ferid and sat next to him.

“So, you think it was your father?”

Ferid opened his mouth but he closed them without making any sound. To be honest, he didn’t know what to say. Maybe it was him, maybe it wasn’t. The worst thing was that he didn’t know the truth. He still had the image from his childhood of the ideal father figure that Saito was to him. But it was only a mirage created by his father. He was a different person. Yet it still wasn’t easy for Ferid to change his opinion on him.

He might be manipulative. He was cruel when he left him.

But killing his own son?

It was a little too much, even for Saito.

Or maybe it was just Ferid’s hopeful desire.

“I don’t know, Crowley,” he whispered, looking away from his eyes.

Everything was so fucked up and just when he thought that he could leave the past behind him, his father was back to surprise him with his twisted games.

Ferid felt Crowley’s arm around him and he let him pull him towards his warm body. Crowley hugged him, stroking his arm.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I’m not angry at you, Ferid. I mean, I am because you a did stupid thing, but I’m more angry at myself that I was in a stupid coma when so many things had happened,” he said tenderly. Ferid smiled, that was so like Crowley. Feeling guilty when it wasn’t his fault.

“I told you to stop this. And yes Crowley, I’m aware that what I’m doing is quite… stupid and maybe irresponsible but I have to do something! Urd and Lest said that if I won’t act Saito will fuck up my life anyway and I hate to admit that, but I think they’re right. If he’s back…he won’t leave me alone, he will do something again. Being responsible for the accident or not, he’s still my father. He’s already told me that even if I don’t want to be part of this… I already am because I’m his son.”

Both of them were silent for a moment, lost in their thoughts but Crowley’s hand was still stroking his arm, giving him more courage.

“Alright, the damage was done, there’s nothing I can do now other than support you. I’m glad that at least you will have Shinya there but god, this is so dangerous!”

Ferid finally looked at Crowley and smiled at him a bit.

“I know but I have you, you will protect me, right?”

He smirked and Crowley relaxed, touching his cheek.

“Do I have another choice?”

He kissed him lightly on the mouth.

“So, when are you starting?”

“Probably next week when-“

“What!?” Crowley stared at him surprised.

“You’re not healed! You can barely walk!”

“I asked my therapist, she said that I should start walking at that time more, or more like limping, but it’s fine as long as I won’t strain it too much.”

Crowley stared at him a bit worried.

“This is so stupid.”

“Stop it, I won’t run around the office. It’s just the meetings and sitting in the chair. I can manage, I was doing more in the bookstore.”

“Okay, but you have to promise me not to overwork yourself and if you neglect your therapy I won’t be happy,” Crowley said while looking at him seriously but Ferid rolled his eyes pouting.

“You sound like your mom, now I see the resemblance,”


But Crowley didn’t finish because Ferid grabbed his face, kissing him hard on the mouth. Crowley pushed him back with difficulty.

“Ferid, don’t change the topic!”

But Ferid totally ignored him, kissing him again and pulling him on the couch, so he could be on top of him.

He quickly felt Crowley giving up under him as he put his arm on his back, pushing him more towards himself and Ferid smiled inside that it worked.

He appreciated of course that Crowley was worrying about him but he had enough of it. He is a grown man and he can take care of himself quite good. He knew what he was risking by going back to the company but still, he agreed to do it. There was no going back.


The next days were hard for both of them.

Ferid was attending therapy every day and he spent hours there. The therapist was helping him with exercises and walking and he finally saw the progress.

He could walk, not without a pain and he was still limping but at least he could stand and walk a bit. He had still a long way to go but he could do his job and that was a relief.

They still didn’t know if there was any more damage to his leg – it would be only known after he started walking more. He hoped that it was the end and that there was nothing serious going on with his leg.

Crowley was visiting hospital too for regular check-ups. He was alright but still he had hit his head pretty badly that day.

He was complaining about headaches and that’s why he stayed at home for the next week.

Most of the time he was at Ferid’s place but both of them wanted some privacy and sometimes he visited his mom.

Both of them were slowly pulled round and they were getting back to their old selves.

But it was time to fight back.

To learn the truth about the person who’s turned their lives upside down. Who threatened them.

So a week later, after Crowley’s been discharged, Ferid got out of the taxi.

He was wearing a black suit with a red shirt underneath. He had his glasses on and he put his hair into a neat ponytail.

“So, are you ready?”

He turned around to see Shinya who got out of the taxi too. He was wearing a gray suit with a light blue shirt. His hair, usually a bit messy, were in a neat hairstyle with some of the hair behind his ear. He was looking good, the shirt empathizing his blue eyes.

Ferid smirked.

“Ready as never.”


Chapter Text

You’ve got me on my knees

 I’m your one man cult.



Crowley closed the door to his car and stared at the police station in front of him. He still was on a sick leave because of his accident but he decided to pay a visit to his friends. And what’s more important, to see how the case was going.

“Good to be back,” he murmured, and started walking towards his workplace.

It was a weird feeling, entering the police station and wearing his off duty clothes, almost as if he walked in naked. He waved to the man at the reception, who smiled at him, and then he went straight towards to his office.

As always everyone was busy and the familiar sounds of ringing telephones, coffee machine and some conversations could be heard in the background. He sighed. He missed it so much.

“Crowley! So you’re back to life, huh?”

The first one who spotted him, with a big smile on his face, was Lacus. Everyone immediately stopped working and suddenly a loud cheering greeted Crowley. Some coworkers went to him and patted his back or arm, telling him how good it was to see him again standing on his own two feet. Crowley thanked them and smiled in return. He only saw Horn and Lacus few times during his hospitalization so it was nice to see the rest of his team.

“Tell me, what are you doing here?”

Crowley looked back and saw Horn standing in the door with her arms crossed and with a curious look on her face.

“Well it’s nice to see you too, Horn.”

She rolled her eyes but immediately smiled to him warmly.

“We saw each other few days ago. Missed me already? My, what would your boyfriend say after hearing this!”

Crowley laughed. There was no way in hell that he and Horn would be together. They had their one night and that was all. Crowley liked her only as his best friend, nothing more.

“He knows that I’m here.”

“But shouldn’t you be back at home?” Lacus joined them, offering Crowley a cup of water but Crowley refused.

“Well I’m still off duty till the end of this week but I was bored so I decided to pay you a visit.”

Both of them raised their eyebrows so Crowley sighed. They didn’t buy it.

“And to learn something about my accident, which is such a mystery because you two didn’t tell me a word.”

Crowley crossed his arms and looked and his friends with stern eyes. Both of them looked a bit confused but before they opened their mouths someone joined them.

“I told them to stay quiet.”


Crowley nodded to his commissioner. The old man smiled to him warmly and put his hand on Crowley’s arm. Crowley had a good relationship with his chief. He could always rely on him in difficult cases.

“Good to see you , Eusford.”

“Thank you, Sir, but with all respect, why is it such a ‘mystery’?” Crowley asked, crossing his arms.

“Because it is weird.”


Horn snapped at the young policeman who raised his hands in defense and Crowley looked at them suspiciously.

“What is he talking about?”

Horn sighed.

“Well, Lacus here has his weird theory that someone tried to kill you.”

“What?” Crowley looked at Lacus with big eyes. So it was true? Someone really tried to kill them that night?

“Which I personally think is stupid.”

“Oh c’mon Horn! Who drives a car with a stab wound?!”

“A stab wound?” Crowley was even more confused. He looked at his chief but he was silently listening to them.

“The driver Crowley! He was injured when he was driving! The accident didn’t kill him, it was the wound! Just like some kind of kamikaze!”

Lacus was gesticulating while he was talking. He was always doing that while talking about something exciting. But Crowley didn’t share his enthusiasm. For him it was something dangerous, mysterious of course but not in an exciting way. If someone really tried to kill Ferid, then he could still be in danger and that thought didn’t allow Crowley to relax.

“And now you’re overreacting Lacus! Listen Crowley, yes the driver had a wound but the theory that we have, but that idiot is against, is that he was a part of some gang fight or something like that. He was trying to escape so that’s why he was driving so fast and unfortunately you and Ferid were in the way.”

“I will still stay with my theory,” said Lacus, pouting.

Crowley crossed his arms. Both of the theories sounded logical to him. If Ferid hadn’t given him the information from his father, he would have  thought that it was just an accident and that the driver was escaping. But after his talk he wasn’t so sure. Something was missing here.

“Well, Lacus lad, you are a young man with very fresh ideas but I think that Horn is right. Or our Crowley isn’t telling us something important, is he?”

Crowley looked at the intelligent eyes of his chief. He was his mentor from the moment he became policeman and sometimes he was like a father figure to him so it was really hard for him to stay silent. But he had to. Everything Ferid told him were only suspicions, nothing confirmed and Saito was a dangerous man, so was Urd and Lest so it was better to stay silent.

At least for now.

“Ferid didn’t drag you into something dangerous, right?” Horn looked at Crowley with concern. She was accepting his relationship but he knew that she didn’t like Ferid.

Crowley smiled.

It was hard to lie to these people but was he even lying? He didn’t know the whole truth about his accident and neither did his colleagues. So technically he wasn’t lying to them.

“Stop treating him like a villain, he’s only a peaceful man working in a bookstore.”

Crowley didn’t know who he was trying to convince with these words.


Ferid was standing in front of the tall building. It was looked like a typical modern, all-glass office. He brushed his suit and walked in, followed by Shinya.

First day at his new workplace.

He wasn’t nervous.

To be honest he was excited.

He immediately started looking around at the surroundings. Of course a lot has changed. The last time he was here he was a teenager. Now he was a man, walking here in expensive suit with a lot more confidence. Except the one crutch he unfortunately had to be still using. His therapist told him that he should be walking normally next weekend but now he should still rely on this stupid thing.

Ferid didn’t want to look weak in front of his new coworkers but a stupid crutch won’t destroy his appearance. He will show them who has the power.

“Is this Lest Karr?” Shinya asked shyly, pointing at the short man at the reception.

Right, Shinya didn’t know anyone here so Ferid should tell him more before both of them will enter the hell called ‘Progenitor’ company.

“Yes, and I can tell you that he is still the same height as I remember from my teenage days.”

Shinya smiled a bit but nodded, saving this information for himself.

“Lest Karr, what a nice sight to see in the morning!” Ferid teased, giving him a fake smile.

Shinya immediately prayed. He knew that this will be a hell with Ferid (because it was Ferid) yet he had still agreed. By himself. He didn’t know he will regret this decision so early.

“Ferid Bathory. Still can’t walk by yourself?” Lest said coldly, but Ferid only laughed.

“Oh Lest, stop worrying your little head about me! Stupid crutches won’t hold me back.”

Lest only snorted and started walking towards the elevator. The three man entered it and the quiet music greeted them.

“I’m only here to remind you what your job is, Bathory.”Lest said again with his sharp voice, but Ferid only smiled and looked down, with his cold eyes at the short man.

“Dear Lest, I might have problems with my leg but not with my memory. I remember my work. I need to irritate my daddy and destroy his new company. I think I’m capable of that.”

Shinya was still silent looking at both of these men. He could swear that the temperature in the elevator have dropped by a few degrees and he swallowed. He knew how Ferid acted when he was irritated but this was a whole new level. It’s like he was learning to know his friend once again.

Ferid in front of him was looking dangerous. He was almost killing Lest with his eyes. Shinya knew that Ferid hated that man. He didn’t know why exactly, Ferid only said that he irritated him, but Shinya could tell that it was the same for the both sides.

Shinya didn’t know what to think of this. He immediately didn’t like how his best friend was acting but he was a smart man and he knew one thing - act or not, Ferid had to behave like this if he wanted to survive in this company. He should act like he was born in this poisonous environment. 

If not, they would destroy him immediately.

The elevator stopped and the door opened.

“Listen Bathory, Urd might trust you, but I don’t. You might tell us shit that you hate your dad but this is serious. We really want to destroy him.”

Lest was waiting for Ferid’s reply and Ferid was looking at him, smiling. Shinya couldn’t guess what he was thinking about. Probably something not nice.

“I could tell the same about you,” Ferid said coldly with his fake smile, and Lest only smiled.

“Good. Go to the next floor, you need to make your IDs.”

And the door closed.

Shinya exhaled.

“Man, that was intense and we’re only what, an hour here?”

Ferid shook his head, smiling. But it was a different type of smile. Not the cold one, but playful. Shinya could discern them easily.

“My, giving up so early~? You were so determined to get this job.”

“Of course not, but now, well, I knew what it’s like. I’m Hiiragi after all, but seeing you only reminded me about this cruel world.”

Ferid looked at him and sighed, looking at the opening doors.

“If you want to stay here get used to it, Shinya, because it will be your daily sight.”

Both of them left the elevator and went to the lady that was sitting by the small desk. Ferid gave the woman a fake smile.

“Good morning, I hope Mr. Urd or Lest gave you information about our arrival.”

The woman was wearing a black and elegant dress. She had blond hair put into a neat bun and she gave them a warm smile.

“Yes Mr. Bathory and Mr.-?”

She looked puzzled at Shinya and he laughed nervously.


He didn’t finish because Ferid stomped on his foot and Shinya winced. The woman looked at him concerned.

“Sir, are you all right?”

Ferid laughed heartily while Shinya laughed nervously. He almost gave her his real surname. Yes, both Urd and Lest knew who he was, they weren’t stupid and, like Ferid said, they probably were expecting him here but the rest of the coworkers didn’t know and it was safer for it to stay like that. If he had given his real surname then their coworkers would treat him like an enemy or some kind of spy.

“Sir, your surname?”

Ferid looked at him again with the cold eyes saying ‘Don’t fuck this up again.’

“Yeah, I mean ‘Hi’ I’m a.. I’m… Ichinose! Shinya Ichinose!”

He regretted this immediately. The poor woman looked at the men in front of her with curious eyes, but gave them papers to fill out without a word. Ferid pretended that he was coughing but Shinya knew that he was barely holding a laughter. Shinya knew too that he was red as a tomato when he was filling his paper.

They gave the papers back to the worker together with the photos, and she disappeared for a moment.

The moment she left them, Ferid burst out laughing.

“Oh my, why didn’t you tell me that you married that idiot!”

“Oh god, I regret this.”

Shinya covered his face and wanted to kill himself for being stupid.

“Seriously of all the surnames in the world Guren’s was the first you could think off? My, you should tell him that you married him without his knowledge.”

“Ferid, shut up!” Shinya moaned trying to disappear from this world.

The woman was back and gave both of them a really suspicious look. She cleared her throat and gave them their IDs with the photo.

“Here it is, have a nice day and welcome to our company, Mr. Bathory.”

Ferid waved to the woman and Shinya was still dying of embarrassment.


Ferid was curious as to what kind of people will be working in his team so he was a bit excited when he entered his office.

Urd gave him papers with each person’s general description and professional achievements but still, he wanted to verify them himself. He knew well how people acted in front of their bosses and in front of other coworkers.

What Ferid knew was that they might ‘try’ to act nice to him, but it was all fake. He was an intruder who took the free position, which was probably the subject of the fights between workers. He was the son of the founder of the company, who was now an enemy, and he didn’t do anything to deserve it. These people probably worked years to get noticed by their bosses and now an intruder without experience will be their new boss. Oh, this will be fun!

Three pairs of eyes stared at Ferid when he entered the room. They were sitting by the table in the conference room.

The first one had brown hair put into a ponytail and brown chocolate eyes with a beauty mark under one of them. He didn’t even try to hide his dissatisfaction with a frown on his face. He was looking angrily at Ferid with crossed arms. That must be Makoto Narumi, Ferid thought.

Next to him was sitting a man with short, purple hair and a warm smile on his face. Well, at least he was pretending to be nice or he was just that type of person who is nice to everyone. He looked a bit embarrassed at Makoto, with his blue eyes. Probably they were friends, so it must be Shusaku Iwasaki.

The last one was a woman, sitting on the opposite side of the table. She had blond hair, a bit wavy, and blue eyes. She had a different attitude, a bit bossy, a bit curious, while she was looking at Ferid.  It was Rika Inoue.

Ferid stood in front of them, looking at them curiously. He decided to seat in the chair while Shinya was standing like a bodyguard behind him. He put his crutch next to him.

All of them were looking at him with different emotions painted on their faces while they were waiting for his speech.

Ferid laughed and his team gave him a suspicious look.

“Do you think I don’t know what all of you are thinking right now? That all of you hate me from the moment they announced that the position, all of you wanted, was taken by the son of the traitor who left the company?”

Shusaku laughed nervously while Narumi snorted. Only Rika was looking at him curiously with a tiny smile.

Ferid decided that the best choice he had was to play open cards and that meant saying what he was thinking. Once it get him shot in the arm but now no one had a gun so he was safe.

“Good that we don’t have to pretend that we like each other!” Narumi snapped.

“I didn’t finish,” Ferid looked coldly at Narumi and the man gulped.

“Narumi, calm down, let our new boss speak,” Shusaku said calmly.

For a moment everyone was silent. Ferid was looking warily at all of them and then finally spoke.

“I won’t lie. I’m not interested in this company. It was my dream long time ago but now it’s an irritating bug that comes and goes. But I have my goal. I want to destroy the Hiiragi company, which now works with my father, and I hope that you will help me.”

He stood up and opened his arms, smiling.

“Let’s call this a game. All of you will work with me on destroying the Hiiragis and the one that will work the best will take my place after my resignation. Like I said, I only want to get rid of that company. So what will you say?”

Ferid looked curiously at his new team. He was waiting for their answer, hoping that they won’t be stupid and ignorant.

“Now you’re talking with sense.” Rika smiled to him playfully and nodded. “Sounds fair and interesting. I’m in.”

“Glad that you like it.” Ferid gave her a fake smile and she responded with one of her own. Alright, she seemed to know what to do. He looked at the men.

“Well, I like my job how it is but I won’t lie that the position of the boss sounds compelling. I’m in,” said Shusaku.

Now there was only one left. Ferid looked lazily at Narumi.

“You sound crazy but if you really want to take down the Hiiragis, then alright. It was my goal after all, but I won’t allow you to take all the glory!”

Narumi pointed at Ferid and Ferid only smiled more.

“Oh, another competition! My, this is getting even more interesting~.”

So there it was. His new team . Three people willing to work with him with their own goals.

But Ferid didn’t considered them as his coworkers or friends. They may agree on certain things but Ferid still saw them as enemies. They could pretend to be nice now but stab you with a knife in back when you weren’t looking.

The door to the room opened and a young woman looked at them.

“Oh…I just wanted to say hello, Mr. Bathory. I’m Yayoi Endo, a secretary.”

Or more like the girl who makes coffee, Ferid thought looking at the woman. She looked nervously at him. She appears as the woman who could start crying if you would speak a bit too loud to her.

“Alright, it was nice to meet you. Tomorrow we will start working on the contract with the medical company. I hope all of you will be prepared with your ideas, I sent you all the information for tomorrow’s meeting. Ah, I almost forgot. That’s Mr. Ichinose, my assistant. He will be working with us too.”

He heard Shinya cursing quietly and Ferid smiled playfully to him.

“Just…call me Shinya please.”


“So, what do you think, Mr. Ichinose?”

Ferid asked Shinya playfully when both of them left the building, Shinya groaned.

“I swear Ferid if you tell Guren about this, I’m gonna kill you!”

But Ferid only laughed, shaking his head.

“Oh, I already told Crowley about this~!”

Shinya groaned again hiding his face in his hands.

“Still, you didn’t answer my question.”

Shinya sighed and looked again at his best friend standing in front of him and waiting for his answer. Even with his crutch Ferid was still looking handsome and confident with his black suit and crimson shirt underneath. The glasses on his nose only emphasized the professional look.

“Well, it’s hard to say after only one day. We didn’t even meet everyone and Urd didn’t show up.”

Ferid nodded while they were slowly walking toward the street.

“Lest told me that he had a meeting or something like that but don’t worry Shinya, you will be tired of their ugly faces in a short time.”

Shinya knew that he was right, yet he wanted to meet Urd too, to make his own opinion about this guy. From all the stories he heard from Ferid, he appeared more calmer than Lest and more clever. He was always leading the important conversations and it was his idea to make Ferid work for them again. He appeared more dangerous to Shinya than Lest but who knows. Maybe the short man was a devil.

“But the team looks alright and maybe even friendly, I think.”

Ferid laughed only and stopped walking.

“Oh, Shinya. You’re so naïve. The first rule here - you can’t think of them as your friends and coworkers. They’re our pawns and we only need them to complete our goal. They might appear to you nice but be careful. One opportunity and they will use it. Remember that.”

“Seriously? You want me to think of them as enemies? So now what, I shouldn’t be talking with them all day?”

“Oh no, quite the opposite! You must talk with them. You must know what they are talking about, what they are thinking. You must pretend to be their friend but be careful not to say too much. I need you to be my eyes and ears in places where I’m not.”

Ferid stared at him with serious look and Shinya nodded. So many things to learn. It was nothing compared to the quiet work at the café or at the bookstore. It was like going to the war every day. He sighed.

“This will be hard BUT! I agreed to this and I can do it! I’m already full of ideas for my new book!”

“Good, but don’t forget to read the files I gave you. You must find everything about each of the coworkers from this company.”

Shinya stared taken aback at Ferid.

“Wait, what?! You want me to do all the job?!”

“Well, you’re my assistant~!”

Ferid smiled to him maliciously and Shinya stared at him with his mouth wide open.

“And what you will be doing?!”

“Oh dear Shinya, I’m going to meet with the worst and the most dangerous person on earth.”

Shinya frowned.

“Are you going to meet Saito?”

But Ferid only snorted, going to the taxi that was parked near the road.

“No silly, someone even worse than my daddy. I’m going to meet with Krul!”

Krul was Ferid’s boss from the bookstore so Shinya frowned even more.

“Why are you…wait…don’t tell me…she doesn’t know?”

But Ferid only laughed and waved at Shinya while he entered the car. Shinya stared at his friend. He saw his boss only few times but he knew how loud she was. If Ferid seriously didn’t tell her that he had a new job…then he was dead.

Shinya looked around.

“Alright but…where am I?”


Ferid entered the door to his old workplace. He missed this place. The smell of the new books and the sound of the street behind big windows. He spent here few years and he had so many good memories connected with this place.

First of all, he met Crowley here.

He also gave Crowley his phone number when Crowley bought a book here.

And now he felt like a stranger in his favorite place. It was really weird.

“Oh, Ferid. We didn’t expect you here.”

From all the workers here, René was probably Ferid’s favorite. He was quiet, he didn’t talk much and when he talked, it wasn’t bullshit. What was even more funnier was the fact that his boyfriend, Lacus, was working as a policeman just like Crowley, so it was partially René’s fault that he met Crowley.

Now René was standing with a box of new books, looking at Ferid a bit curious. Ferid was technically still on his sick leave, thanks to his accident, but to be honest he could be back at work. But things have unfortunately changed.

Ferid must admit one thing- he missed working here, and he knew that the ‘Progenitor’ company won’t be like that. He argued here a lot with stupid Chess, with his boss or with some customers or authors of the books. But it was a pleasant argument, even playful for him. It wasn’t a fight for ‘life’ (maybe sometimes with Krul) but just pleasant bantering. He sighed.

“Hello René, is boss at her office?”

“Look at who decided to pay us a visit. So you’re not dead?”

Chess went towards them, leaving one of the alleys with the cooking books and stared at Ferid. As much as they argued, Ferid enjoyed making fun of the short girl. It was one of his favorite things to do here. To piss off his lovely stupid Chess.

“Chess, honey, were you worried about me?”

“ME?! Ha! In your dreams!”

She pouted and crossed her arms. Ferid laughed at that action. She immediately went all red and cleared her throat. No matter how much time has passed, Chess never changed. She was always starting a fight with him, only to lose after a few words exchanged.

“The boss is in her office Ferid, she might talk with you now,” René said quietly and went back to unpacking the box.

“Thanks,” Ferid only said, and went towards the door.

“Hey, Bathory!”

Ferid looked back at Chees who was even more embarrassed now.

“It’s…well…it’s good that you…alright…I mean….argh! Never mind!”

She shook her head and hid behind the bookshelves. Ferid stared at her a bit taken aback and then he remembered. When he left the bookstore last time Chess said to him ‘Go die Bathory’ like she usually was saying to him. It was like her ‘goodbye’ to Ferid so he really didn’t pay attention to it.

Was she feeling guilty?

Ferid only snorted and shook his head.


Ferid decided to not think about it. He had a weird relationship with everyone here. But the person who was the most complicated was behind that door . Ferid took a deep breath.

“This will be fun.”

He knocked and entered the cave of the devil.


Crowley looked at the hour on his phone and sighed. This day was so boring. He couldn’t wait to go back to work.

Last week at least he could spent time with Ferid but now that Ferid went to work he was so bored after he left the police station. He only went to the Hospital for the check up and they told him that everything was okay and that he could go back to work next week.

But the whole day he had to spend on his own because even his mother was busy. That only left him alone in Ferid’s apartment. Well, maybe not alone. He had Mika but the evil cat was more interested in the food than in him. He tried to play with him and the cat was nice to him until Crowley’s phone  started buzzing because of the message and the cat got scared and scratched his hand.

Crowley swore that he did it on purpose.

The text was from Ferid saying that Shinya was now ‘Ichinose’ and Crowley only snorted.  The friendship between these two was sometimes so adorable.

Crowley liked Shinya. He was a funny guy and he was glad that at least he was with Ferid.  Meanwhile Crowley couldn’t focus on anything while he was alone at home. He was thinking what Ferid was doing and how was his first day at the company.

He still wasn’t okay with this whole idea of him working with old Saito’s partners. He knew what people like that were capable of, not to mention the horrible accident but other things too.

Ferid may appear in front of everyone as a strong person but Crowley knew that not all of this was true. He knew his ‘true colors’.

He was aware that sometimes Ferid had nightmares during nights, even if he didn’t talk about this.

That he might smile to him when they were talking together but sometimes winced in pain when he thought Crowley wasn’t looking.

The whole world might be scared of him but Crowley will always see him in a different way. He was glad that he was the only one who could see the more ‘human’ side of Ferid. Even if Ferid didn’t always share with his feelings, Crowley was still patiently waiting for Ferid to tell him about his nightmares, Crowley was the closest person to him.

He knew that Ferid was smart. That even if he was working in a quiet place like bookstore he was seeking for adventures and fuss. He grew up in that sick environment. 

Crowley wished only for one thing. From the moment the two of them met, Ferid changed a lot. He was still mean sometimes but he was more open and trusting, especially with Crowley. Crowley was scared that Ferid could go back to his old self.

These stupid thoughts were torturing him during the day and he wished to be back to his job to start occupying his mind with other things. Like new cases or just patrolling the area with his colleagues.

After few hours he heard the keys in the door and he stood up from the couch. Mika, who was sleeping peacefully on his stomach, landed with loud ‘meow’ on the floor but Crowley didn’t pay attention to the cat.

Ferid entered his apartment and Crowley stared at him. He knew Ferid was beautiful but now Ferid was more sexy than beautiful. The black suit was really emphasizing his silhouette and he always looked good in red so the shirt underneath was perfect for him. The fact that he was still wearing his glasses only made Crowley lick his lips.

He couldn’t wait to put his hands on Ferid and later take off the clothes off him.

“Look who’s back.”

Ferid smiled to him, a bit tired, and went to him.

He put his crutch in the corner and kissed Crowley on the mouth. It was a slow kiss, a bit sloppy but Crowley hugged him tighter, almost picking him up.

After their kiss Ferid stared at him, thinking probably about some naughty things but he closed his eyes, calming his breath.

“Krul fired me.”

Ah, right. Ferid had his talk with his boss today. Crowley still thought that it was kind of stupid that he didn’t inform her earlier but in all this mess with him being in a coma, then the passionate day and preparations for the new work, both of them…forgot about the most important thing. Or more like the most dangerous one.

“Don’t worry about her now. She will hire you again. She adores you.”

Ferid snorted, still being in the embrace of Crowley’s arms.

“We have a different definition of ‘adoration’, then.”

Ferid wrinkled his nose a bit.

“I smell dinner. Good, I’m hungry and tired. I’m going to take a shower.”

He left Crowley’s strong arms and started walking towards bathroom. He was limping a bit, probably being tired but then he stopped and went back to Crowley. He put his hands on Crowley’s cheeks and kissed him again, more passionately.

“Someone’s horny,” Crowley joked, but Ferid only winked to him and went to the bathroom.

Crowley expected a passionate night after their dinner but what he didn’t expected when he’s finished cleaning up, was the sight of Ferid in his pajamas, working on his laptop.

Crowley gave him a curious look and sat in front of him. Ferid was still focused on his work, writing something quickly. The light from the laptop was reflecting in his glasses and Crowley was observing him from the corner of his eyes.

“What are you doing?” he finally asked after getting bored.


Crowley sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Ferid, I know you probably know everything about this company. You probably even know about the private life of the workers.”

“Nah, I only know few information about their families~,” Ferid said while he was still typing something on his laptop. Crowley wasn’t sure if he was just joking or telling the truth.

Another few minutes went by and Ferid still didn’t pay attention to him.

“When will you finish?”

“Dear Crowley, you know I don’t want to make foul of myself tomorrow.”

Crowley groaned, growing impatient.

“Ugh, you suck,” he told him, looking away.

“And you swallow~,” Ferid said playfully, not looking at him.


But Ferid only smiled to him maliciously.

Crowley went to the bedroom and immediately went to bed. After a few minutes he heard Ferid entering the bedroom but he pretended to be asleep.

But his plan was a failure the moment Ferid started kissing his neck.

At the same time in other part of the town Guren Ichinose picked up Shinya’s ID, which was left on the table in his room and looked with questioning look at his boyfriend who was all red.

“I can explain!” was his only response.


If Ferid thought that unpacking tons of new books and putting them on the shelves in different parts of the bookstore was a hard job, he was wrong.

Nothing compared to the work at the office he was now doing.

The first task Urd gave him was buying the right to the small medical company. The ‘Progenitor’ company’s main aim was buying other companies, which were working for them under their brand. It contained different types of companies because ‘Progenitor’ didn’t limit itself to just one market. So they had companies in food industry, car industry and even their own brand of clothes. Ferid wished he was working in clothes department but unfortunately for him he had to work with medical ones because the ‘Hiiragi’ company was a medical company.

The motto of ‘Progenitors’ was ‘take what gives you the highest profit’ and that’s why they were owners of the most companies in this town. They were just like this one giant mafia ruling the city. Unfortunately the biggest enemy was ‘Hiiragi’. They may only take interest in medical companies but still, it was one of the most profitable industry. So many new companies dealing with medicine and technology were on the market these days that the ‘Progenitor’ couldn’t resist. They had to take part in this too.

One of the companies matching this description was the small company with the young and intelligent doctors working on new antibiotics. Ferid spent the last week working with his team on finding the information regarding this company and gathering advantages to make the company agree to work for ‘Progenitor’.

It was a hard work with debates going on and on about what would be the most appealing thing for the young and promising company.

Because of course the Hiiragis had their eyes set on it as well. It was a race against the time to prepare everything for the meeting so they could make a good impression on the company and buy it before Hiiragis.

Ferid was walking to the elevator, Shinya already in the office with the rest of the team.

He’s just finished the meeting with one of the workers from this company where he wanted to learn what these scientist required for their research so that the ‘Progenitors’ could offer it to them.

Money of course was the first thing, but Ferid had learned more important information about their work, which gave him new ideas.

He was so deep in thoughts, making plans for his project, while entering the elevator, that he didn’t notice that Urd was there as well.

“So busy that you don’t even see your boss?”

Ferid blinked and then he saw the man standing in the corner. He gave him fake smile.

“Oh my, I didn’t notice you! You know, so many things on my head, besides… Aren’t we partners? Or was I just misinformed?”

Urd smiled to him but it was a forced smile. That man sometimes was a mystery even to Ferid. Lest might be hotheaded but Urd was calm and rarely raised his voice. He was the one who was making the strategies.

“So, how is your work? I hope that soon I will see a contract on my table.”

Ferid smiled again, playing his game.

“Everything is under control. The meeting with the company is at the end of this week.”

Urd nodded and the elevator stopped.

“Don’t screw this up Bathory, I hope that you won’t be a disappointment.”

“Don’t worry, I enjoy this game.”

Ferid gave him a cold smile but Urd didn’t even look back. He left Ferid in the elevator and Ferid went out on the next floor. Waking towards the office he snorted.

Stupid Urd, acting like he was the king, not the half-owner of the company. If he hadn’t been weak when he was a kid he wouldn’t have given up the company. But he was in a bad psychological condition and these two idiots manipulated him. Still, he had his share in this company. Threatening him was seriously a bad move from these idiots.

Suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his leg.

He had to stop and  put his hand on the wall for support.

His leg was healing nicely and he didn’t have to use crutches anymore. He was slightly limping, maybe more when he was tired but he noticed these sharp pain attacking him from time to time.

First it happened rarely but when he was spending more time on his feet, especially standing in one place for longer, they were more frequent.

He hoped that it wasn’t anything serious and that it was just a side effect of him straining his leg a bit too much. Maybe he should tell his therapist about this?

“Oh! Mr. Bathory! Everyone is in the conference room, I will prepare the tea!”

He looked at the secretary, Yayoi was it? And he smiled to her. Just when she went to the small kitchen he put on his bored mask and went towards the room, ignoring the previous ‘small accident’.

Like the girl said, everyone was already here and he nodded to them, giving them his smile. He went towards them, putting his case on the table.

“So the big day is coming, how are the preparations?”

“We looked into the salary the workers are given and into some other things, such as-“

Rika was telling Ferid the things they managed to gather while Shinya went to him.

“Are you okay?”

Ferid was still listening to his team and only looked at Shinya so he would see him rolling his eyes. He didn’t have time for this now and Shinya quickly understood. But knowing this idiot he would probably go back to this matter later on.

“Thank you Rika. I see that we almost have everything that we need but I have another important information which may be an advantage to us.”

He took out papers from his case and gave them to his team.

“After a meeting with a worker I learned that each of the workers there have a family. Most of them have kids who will soon start their education. So, what do we do with this fact?”

He stared at his team. Rika smiled while reading the notes and Narumi nodded.

“We will support their education because of the contract that ‘Progenitor’ have with one of the local schools, that will be helpful,” said Shusaku and Ferid nodded.

“Every parent wants the best for their kids so giving them a place in a nice school, which will give them a good education, is a good point. I already contacted the director from that school and that won’t be a problem since it will be part of our company.”

“I’m sorry to interrupt but the tea is ready!”

They were so deep into the talk that they didn’t even notice when Yayoi entered the room. Shinya only apologized to her and helped her with the tea while Ferid was still leading discussing with the team.

Rika was showing him the contract that she prepared and he told her to correct mistakes, although he only found two of them.

Everything was looking really good. He had to admit it was hard since it wasn’t the job he was accustomed to, yet after a few days he got used to it and realized that it was interesting experience and quite…exciting.

After their meeting he sat on the chair, gathering his things.

“Seriously Shinya, do I have something on my face? You stared at me the whole meeting. Did you decide to cheat on Guren with me or what? Sorry to disappoint you but I’m taken and besides, you are married.”

Shinya only rolled his eyes, clearing his throat and playing with his ID.

“Don’t be stupid! I was just worried. You’re a bit pale today.”

Ferid stood up and sighed.

“I am pale, idiot, and you as well. Stop occupying yourself with stupid thoughts like that and go back to work on you book. Speaking of, how is it going?”

Both of them were slowly going back to the main part of the office. Shinya opened the door for him and Ferid only rolled the eyes again.

“Well, I must admit that all the corruption and the evil aura of this place is working. I have the sketch of my new story. It will be about a young man fighting with corruption in his father’s company!”

Ferid looked at him with ‘are you serious?’ look and Shinya blinked.

“Should I change father for a mother? That could be good too.”

“Well, do what you want as long as you change the names. It’s your job too. Ah! The job!”

Ferid stopped and indicated for Shinya to follow with him. He opened his office and the two of them were alone for now.

“Did you hear something?”

Shinya sat in the chair and thought for a moment.

“Well, I think you put them in their places. I don’t think any of them is working against you or they are hiding it really well. I’m closer to the Shusaku and he’s not holding any grudges about you but like you said, he could have deceived me. Rika was acting suspicious lately but it turned out that she was just playing on Narumi’s nerves, these two are really competing against each other. They took this game seriously, Ferid.”

Ferid went to the window and stared at the city in front of him. His plan was perfect and it was working. They took him seriously and he hoped that he didn’t miss anything. Shinya was watching them, Ferid as well was really cautious and observed them. If someone was working against him…then he was good.

“Narumi joked once that you’re sleeping with Urd.”

Ferid looked at him disgusted.

“What? Me with that old man?! Are you kidding me?!”

“Well, he does not look that old and I told them that you’re taken.”

Ferid frowned.

“You didn’t tell them about Crowley?”

Shinya rolled his eyes.

“Of course not, I only told them that you’re not single.”

Ferid thought for a moment and looked again at the city. He wondered on what project Saito was currently working on. He should start digging in that too.

“You should have said nothing.”


“I can tell that you are tired just by looking at you,” Crowley joked while he was staring at his partner.

Both of them were in the bathroom in Crowley’s flat. One of the reasons why Ferid preferred Crowely’s bathroom was a big tub. Recently he loved taking baths with Crowley in it, because it was really relaxing, especially after the tiring day the two of them had.

Ferid showed tongue to his boyfriend and started taking off his shirt. Crowley was already inside, so he quickly took off his trousers. Crowley offered him a hand and helped him get inside. Ferid immediately leaned on Crowley’s chest, feeling relaxed, and sighed.

“So, how was work?” Crowley asked, slowly touching Ferid’s tense arms and smiling, feeling his partner relaxing under his gentle touch.

“Too much to talk about. Tomorrow is the meeting with the company so we had to make sure everything is ready.”

“So, tomorrow is the big day. I’m sure everything will be okay.”

Ferid only smiled and closed his eyes. The warm water was also helping him with his sore leg so it was like a heaven for a moment. He touched Crowley’s neck. Crowley was nuzzling his nose on Ferid’s head and occasionally giving him small kisses on the neck, admiring his partner.

“And how about you, anything adventurous during a patrol?” Ferid joked and Crowley smiled.

“Nah, kinda boring. Just a typical patrol. Next week there is a festival in the town so there might be more work.”

Both of them were silent for a moment, relaxing.

“So… I assume that they gave up on the case?”

Ferid turned around to look into Crowley’s eyes and Crowley sighed.

“Yeah, unfortunately they agreed upon the version with the gang fighting because they couldn’t find anything else. Lacus was the only one who thought differently.”

“So he’s not that stupid,” Ferid joked and then he looked serious. “Well, sorry to say that but fuck them, we will find the answer on our own.”

Crowley touched Ferid’s cheek looking at him with tenderness.

“Promise me that you won’t do anything reckless, Ferid.”

Ferid smiled to him and leaned forward to kiss him on the lips.

“I promise you, idiot~.”


Guren peaked inside the old Shinya’s room. Since the two of them started dating Shinya was sleeping in Guren’s room and his old room was now his workplace. He could be alone here but at night he was always back in Guren’s arms.

From the moment Shinya started working with Ferid the two of them spent less time together but Guren knew that Shinya was just busy with work and the book. He knew that Shinya had his writer’s block so he was glad that Shinya had his ideas back once again and he didn’t want to interrupt his work.

Yet sometimes well…He was jealous. Not about Ferid of course… but his novel, which was even more stupid.

“Should I be jealous about something that is not real?” asked Guren and Shinya stared at him with questioning look from the place in front of his laptop.

“I’m sorry?”

“Well, lately you spent more time with your novel than me.”

Shinya looked at him with wide eyes and then he laughed.

“Oh Guren, I should expect you to be jealous of Ferid but my novel? My, you’re cute!”

Guren only cleared his throat, blushing a bit, and went towards Shinya, putting his arms around him.

“So how’s the novel?”

“Well, I don’t want to spoil it for you but it’s about the son who inherits the company from his mother and he’s trying to fight with his evil coworkers and even more, which I won’t tell you.”

Guren nodded with approval and stared at the page in front of him.

“Sounds interesting. But take a break too. You are already spending too much time at that company. Anyway, you told me something about the big day tomorrow so don’t sit here for too long. I’m waiting in the living room.”

Shinya smiled to him warmly, and squeezed his hand.

“Yeah, I will soon join you. Just few sentences.”

Guren only smiled and left his partner alone. Yet he still felt jealous over a book. He was so immature sometimes.


The company was near Ferid’s old workplace and he wondered how was Krul’s book store. Last time he was there Krul wanted to kill him, telling him that he sold himself into the ‘Progenitor’ company, not knowing that he already was part of it, and that she didn’t want to see him for the rest of her life.

Quite…encouraging to visit again.

But he didn’t have time for this. He was going to the meeting with the owner of the company with Shinya at his side.

Both of them were looking on point with their suits and neat hair. Ferid put on his glasses again to have more professional look. And to look more handsome, he knew he looked good in them.

So both of them, feeling like they were going to a battle which wasn’t a lie, entered the company and went towards the reception.

“Welcome, how can I help you?”

“I have an appointment with Mr. Bourgois. My name is Ferid Bathory, from the ‘Progenitor’ company.

The woman nodded and looked at the computer.

“Oh, right. Let me take you there.”

She stood up, leaving her colleague at the reception and the three of them went toward the elevator.  The owner’s office was on the third floor since the building wasn’t that big.

“Mr. Burgois, Mr. Bathory is here.”

She opened the door to the conference room and Ferid entered it with Shinya. He saw a middle aged man with a warm smile and dark hair.

Both of them greeted each other shortly and went down to business. Ferid explained all the terms of the potential contract and started telling the owner what his company could offer if they were to start the partnership. He had a long list prepared and he also had a presentation so he showed all the good points of ‘Progenitor’ and its position on the market based on recent results.

The man was listening to him while he was showing him what other companies cooperating with them were involved into and what they could gain.

He knew his presentation was flawless. He included everything that was profitable for the medical company and he knew that the man was interested.

Yet at the end anxiety was growing inside him. The man in front of him was interested but was also… uncomfortable? Nervous? Something was off.

“Mr. Bathory, I must say that the “Progenitor’ prepared well for this contract and some points are really good but…”

There it was. The ‘but’ word which was a taboo for that matter. Something was wrong. Ferid felt that contract in his hand so it couldn’t be possible. Yet the man in front of him was…refusing?


Ferid asked a bit impolitely and Shinya cleared his throat to remind him to act more professional, which was necessary.

“You’re not the first company that offered me a contract to partnership and I agree that I was looking for a good sponsor, which would allow for the development of my company but… You gave us good points, but I’ve received a very similar proposition from the company that is concerned only with medicine. They also said that they have contact with all schools and medical universities, which guaranties a good future from the families of our workers. Also the medical help…

Ferid stared at him, not believing what he was hearing.

“Who gave you the proposition?”

“I did.”

Standing in the door was Saito.

Chapter Text

So you can drag me through Hell
If it meant I could hold your hand



Standing in the door Saito smiled to Ferid.

The shocked man only blinked, looking at his father. What was he even doing here? How did he knew that he had a meeting with the company today and moreover, what the hell happened?

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I understand. You accepted ‘Hiiragi’ proposition without telling us first?”

Ferid stared at the uncertain man, who tried to laugh, but it was so fake that even Shinya winced.

“Well, our proposition was better,” said Saito. He went towards Ferid but Ferid was still staring at the man. He couldn’t look at his father knowing that he’s just lost to him.

“We had agreement, Mr. Burgois. You agreed to meet us today to sign the contract.”

“I agreed to hear your proposition, Mr. Bathory,”

“Then why didn’t you inf-“

“Now, now! I think Mr. Bathory here is still young and doesn’t know how this business works, right? Nice to meet you by the way, Rigr Stafford.”

Saito put his hand on Ferid’s arm and squeezed it a bit, so Ferid would finally look him in the eyes, while offering his hand.

The moment Ferid felt his father’s hand on him, he froze. He thought that he was strong, yet that simple touch made him forget who he was and what he was doing here. For a moment he was even a bit frightened. His father was always an authority to him, so knowing that he did something against him made him feel like he was a child again.

But that was past.

He was a grown up man now and he needed to destroy this man.

Ferid clenched his shaking hand. He was furious. His plan was perfect. He did everything to make this meeting successful and he thought that a final meeting with company would end well. What Saito did to change this man’s mind? Did he offer him more money? And why did he know the exact hour and date of their meeting?

Ferid finally took a deep breath to steady his breathing and focused more on what was going on, rather than overthinking the situation. He made a mistake somewhere and now he needed to learn what mistake it was, to never make it happen again in the future.

He put his fake smile and squeezed Saito’s hand. Fake name or not, he was still ‘Saito’ for him and his ‘lovely’ father.

“Nice to meet you Mr. Stafford. I apologize for my behavior. I’m still new to this, right?”

He tried to laugh but he sounded worse than the owner earlier. He couldn’t control his own body. He knew his hand was shaking and he felt Shinya’s eyes on him. He wanted to play strong in front of Saito. To show him that he may have lost here but he still didn’t lose the whole game. He was still a part of the Progenitor company.

He wanted but he couldn’t. That was the power his father still had over him and he couldn’t fight it. It was so hard to even look in his father’s eyes without blinking. He saw only contempt in Saito’s eyes while he tried to look with fury at him with furry. He knew that it wasn’t as effective as he wanted to.

Their hands parted and Saito finally took off his hand. Ferid felt better immediately.

“So Mr. Burgois, I think we can continue our meeting while Mr. Bathory will return to his company.”

Ferid smiled to Saito, or more like winced, and then he looked at the confused owner.

“I hope next time Mr. Burgois, you will inform us that the proposition is not actual. We won’t… waste our time on this. “

The man coughed nervously.

“Oh yeah, I apologize for that. But I must say… that it was kind of weird… that both of you had almost the same propositions, yet Mr. Stafford showed up earlier-“

“Mr. Bugois, I’m very busy man, let’s continue.”

Ferid stared at the man in front of him. Saito came earlier? Had the same propositions?

Oh, he knew what was going on here. He smiled finally starting to feel like himself again.

“Good luck with your business. Mr. Burgois. Mr. Stafford, I hope we will see each other again in the future but in different circumstances.”

He said it with such a venom in his voice that even Shinya blinked together with the owner, both of them taken aback.

“Good luck Mr. Bathory. Young people like you need it in this work.”

Ferid didn’t respond and he left with Shinya. When they exited the building Shinya finally let out a breath and looked at Ferid.

“What the hell was that?! Why the owner turned us down and why Saito was there? Man, the moment he entered the room I felt like the air dropped by few degrees. That man is like some kind of vampire!”

Ferid was walking quickly towards the taxi parking and he immediately caught one. Shinya was following him, almost running after him, while asking questions but Ferid wasn’t surprised. He knew that Shinya probably didn’t suspect what had happened.

When both of them entered the car Ferid quickly told the driver the address of Progenitors company.

After a moment of silence Shinya exhaled and asked.

“Are you okay?”

Ferid rolled his eyes.

“Yes I am, stop treating me like a baby. If you think that I will start crying in front of him just because he left me, then you’re wrong.”

“But you did act diff-“

Shinya didn’t finish because Ferid almost killed him with his eyes. Shinya closed his mouth for the first time and looked through the window.

“My, such a dead silence. You’re usually so talkative Shinya, did I finally found a way to shut your mouth?”

Shinya only rolled his eyes, not looking at Ferid.

“Oh, sorry. Should I call you Mr. Ichinose now?”

But Shinya knew what Ferid was doing here. He was trying to irritate him so he could forget about the meeting earlier. Ferid didn’t want to talk about it. Shinya knew that, yet he knew that something had happened there. The influence Saito still had on Ferid was visible. The moment he started speaking and put his hand on Ferid, Shinya saw his friend’s shaking hands.

“Could you at least tell me what the hell happened? Why the owner refused our proposition?”

“You ask me as if I know the answer.”

“But do you?”


Shinya stared at Ferid but this time it was Ferid who was looking thought the window. Shinya was waiting patiently for the explanation.

“So? Tell me?”

Ferid sighed and took one of his curls between his fingers, playing with it a bit.

“Someone leaked information from our meetings.”

Shinya looked shocked at Ferid trying to absorb what he had told him. Leaked information?

“So you’re trying to say that…”

“We have a spy in our team, Shinya.”


“What do you mean you lost it?”

“I knew you were short, Lest, but I didn’t know that you were deaf too.”

“You peace of sh-!”


Urd’s loud voice stopped Ferid and Lest from further quarrel. Ferid was sitting in front of Urd, Lest was standing behind Urd’s chair, looking at Ferid with anger. Ferid had his poker face with his irritating smile on, while he was telling them that he lost the company to Saito, which made them even more angry.

Ferid wasn’t surprised. He was furious too but he was hiding it well.

“You told me earlier that you had everything prepared,” Urd said while sighing. He wasn’t showing anger like Lest did. He was calm and that’s what always irritated Ferid. Sometimes he couldn’t read that man.

“Because it was. My team did everything, we set up the meeting to sign the contract but suddenly Mr.Burgois told us that Hiiragi’s proposition is better although they’re almost the same. What do you think it means?”

Ferid looked at Urd with a smirk and Urd raised his eyebrows.

“Someone sold our plans,” Urd said calmly and sighed.

“What?! We have a fucking spy?! Who is it?!”

Lest was furious and he glared at Ferid but Ferid was only looking at Urd.

“Wait…but maybe it was you!”

Ferid finally looked with irritation at Lest but it only lasted a second and he quickly smiled.

“Oh, you caught me! I told daddy all my plans so he could win this company and so you two could kill me later. You know, like a true tragic hero!~” he ended with a fake laugh, which made Lest snort.

“You can laugh Ferid, but Lest here might be right. What if you are trying to mislead us with your act?”

This time it was Urd who spoke and Ferid stopped laughing. He looked at Urd unhesitatingly and he rolled his eyes.

“You don’t have to trust me. I don’t trust you two too. But if you still think that I’m obeying my father then go on. Remove me from this company, send me to another country or…maybe kill me. It’s not like somebody hadn’t tried already.”

From the moment he opened his mouth he knew he was playing with  fire and he saw how tensed these two were. This conversation was starting to be dangerous because Ferid still didn’t know anything about his accident or about this spy. But one thing he knew - he was a crazy person and only he could have said that.

Urd and Lest looked for a second at each other and Ferid noticed that.

“Or maybe it was just an accident. You know, fate telling me that it’s time to pay for my sins. Anyway. Believe in what you want, do what you want, but can I get back to my job? My team is still waiting for me and the answers so excuse me.”

He stood up and started walking slowly to the door.

“Ferid, don’t think we trust you but you have another chance,” Urd said calmly.

“And better find that spy!” Lest added and Ferid only smiled.

“My, sometimes you treat me like a trash but aren’t we partners? Enjoy your evening~!”

He didn’t wait for their reply as he left their office. He showed weakness once today and that was enough.


Ferid swore that it was the longest day at work since he has started. First he needed to deal with Lest and Urd, then he had to explain his team that they failed.

“So we have a spy?!”

Rika was first who came to this conclusion and Ferid only nodded to her. Then it was a hell. All of them started accusing themselves, including Ferid because Saito was his father. Even Shinya was accused for playing too nice.

In the end Ferid cancelled their meeting and told them to calm down and to start acting like professionals. Accusing each other wasn’t a solution. They must do something with this fact and find the spy.

Ferid was confused too. Who was it? Was it Rika? Narumi? Shusaku? Which one of them was the most suspicious?

Ferid sighed while he got out of the taxi. He was exhausted and he couldn’t wait to enter his apartment and lay on his couch.

The moment he opened the door he saw Crowley standing in the middle of the room with the bottle of champagne. Right, even he believed in him. Well, of course he believed in him, Crowley loved him.

“I want to shout ‘congratulations’ but seeing you made me hesitate,” Crowley said a bit confused, and Ferid sighed while he closed the door and took off his jacket.

“Well, because I always get what I want you assumed that my ‘mission’ was a success.”

Crowley frowned a bit confused.


“But as you can see it wasn’t. I didn’t get the contract.”

Crowley put the bottle on the table and went towards Ferid .

“What had happened? “

“Saito happened. Daddy was first,” Ferid said sarcastically, and he walked by Crowley while he was going towards the kitchen.

“But, how? I thought that you had everything prepared.”

Ferid snorted and he put the kettle on the kitchen.

“Well, you’re not the only one surprised. I was working on this project all week only to learn that someone leaked information to Hiiragi’s company.”

Crowley didn’t hide his surprise as he followed Ferid.

“You have a spy in your company? Or the team?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I commanded Shinya to observe them and I assumed that I had everything under control, yet someone sold everything to Saito. I don’t know who it was. Is it someone from outside or from my team. But I will find it out.”

“Ferid, I-“

But Crowley didn’t finish because his phone started ringing and he had to pick it up, apologizing to Ferid. Ferid sighed and leaned on the table. So many questions, not enough answers. He should get used to this.

Someone played with him but that didn’t mean that he gave up. The game now was getting even more interesting and even if he was angry, he learned something from that lesson.

He combed his hair with his hand, putting them into a messy bun, when the kettle whistled. Ferid started walking towards a cupboard to take out his cup but when he stood on his toes to get it, he immediately felt a sharp pain and he dropped the cup to the floor.

It shattered into pieces but he didn’t pay any attention to it. He had to close his eyes and grab the cupboard to steady himself. The pain was sudden and  lasted only a second but it hurt more than the last time.

Ferid realized that from time to time he had this ‘attacks’ and he knew that he should tell his therapist about it but lately he didn’t have time for this and he quickly forgot about it. But it was getting more and more irritating and he had to get rid of it.

“Ferid, are you okay?”

Ferid heard Crowley’s voice and he knew that his boyfriend was coming to the kitchen. He cursed. He didn’t want to worry Crowley with his ‘little problem’ so he took a deep breath to steady himself.

“What happened?”

“Nothing, I was distracted and dropped the cup. Nothing to worry about.”

Ferid turned to look at Crowley who entered the kitchen, but instead he was met with strong arms wrapping around him.

Ferid was a little taken aback by this gesture but he immediately felt safe within Crowley’s arms.

“Ferid, you’re not at your company. You don’t have to pretend in front of me. You can laugh, shout, cry, whatever you want. I won’t judge you. I won’t use it against you. Just please, don’t keep it inside you. I’m here to help you.”

There it was, Crowley Eusford. The most patient and understanding man in the world. What he, vicious Ferid Bathory, did to deserve this man?

Ferid sighed and gave up. He wrapped his arms around Crowley’s neck, enjoying the warmth and his smell.

He was glad that beside the dangerous world he had to face every day at his company, he also had lovely Crowley who was waiting for him at home.

It was too much for him.

“Thank you, Crowley,” he said a bit weak but Crowley didn’t comment on this. He only hugged him tighter.

“So, what will you say about a warm bath with me?”

Ferid smiled and turned back to look at Crowley.

“Sounds perfect.”


Blood was everywhere. In front of him, on his hands and on Crowley’s face.

Crowley was unconscious and he wasn’t responding. Ferid tried to wake him up but it was pointless. His eyes were closed and despite Ferid’s effort, they remained that way.

“You won’t wake him up. You can’t.”

He knew that voice and he was too scared to turn around and look into his father’s face, so he tried to focus on Crowley again but one moment later he disappeared in front of him. He looked around but he was alone, only the presence of his father behind him still palpable.

“Sooner or later you will lose him too and it will be all your fault.”

“I won’t, shut up!”

Ferid squeezed his hand but his father only laughed.

“You couldn’t keep me near you, you won’t keep him too. It’s pointless Ferid, just accept the fact that you will be always alone.”

His father was wrong, he won’t give up on Crowley. Or more like, he won’t lose him. Crowley loved him and he loved Crowley, even if he still couldn’t say it.

“You’re lying. You’re only trying to manipulate me.”

“Oh, so you’re trying to fight? You didn’t learn anything from the last time? “

Ferid had enough and he finally turned around just to see his father’s face, but he wasn’t alone, there were also Urd and Lest. All three of them were looking at him with disgust and that only made Ferid even more angry. No one will be looking down at him.

“Yes, I will fight, father.”

Saito only snorted.

“Then shall we get rid of you again?”

All of them smiled and, at the same moment Ferid felt pain in his leg and his legs gave out under him. He tried to stand up but he couldn’t. It was the same feeling he had the last time he dreamed about his father. He couldn’t breath, speak, and his legs were weak. He felt the same on the day of his accident.

All three of them were getting close…

Ferid woke up breathing heavily. He was covered in sweat and he had to steady his breathing.

“Fucking nightmare,” he cursed, and he put his hand in his hair. For a moment he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Finally, when he was breathing normally, he opened them again.

He looked at Crowley who was sleeping peacefully next to him. Fortunately he didn’t wake him up and he sighed in relief. He didn’t want to worry Crowley with his stupid paranoia.

Similar nightmares were bothering him after the accident and he didn’t know what to do to get rid of them. He thought that maybe Crowley’s presence will erase them but he still had them.

He sighed. He wanted to be strong and, he was strong, yet his mind was still playing tricks with him.

He decided to try to sleep again. There was no point in thinking about his dream. They were all the same. In all of them there was Saito who was trying to destroy him once again by telling him that he was nothing. He snuggled closer to Crowley and hugged him. After few minutes he finally fell asleep.

Only when Ferid was asleep again, Crowley opened his eyes.

Once again Ferid had a nightmare. He knew about them but he decided not to say anything until Ferid decided to rise the topic on his own. He didn’t want to make Ferid uncomfortable, yet  Crowley noticed that he had nightmares more frequently. He saw the shadows under Ferid’s eyes every morning. At first he thought that it was his leg bothering him at night but then one night he learned the truth. He couldn’t blame him. After all they went through it was normal, especially while Ferid was alone after the accident, which made it only worse. Crowley knew that Ferid was stubborn and he won’t tell him so easily about his fears but Crowley hoped that he will tell him the reasons behind his dreams.

Was it because of work?

Was it pressure?

Was it his dad?

So many questions. Crowley combed his fingers through Ferid’s hair and stroked his head gently. Finally he softly kissed Ferid’s head and closed his eyes.


Shinya groaned when he felt Guren waking him up. He wanted to sleep more but he had to wake up and go to work. Guren was already awake as he was starting his job soon.

“Wake up sleepyhead, your beloved job is waiting,” Guren teased him and Shinya covered his head with the duvet.

“Go away!”

“Is this the way to call your boyfriend? I might get angry!”

Shinya finally looked at him and groaned. Guren was putting on his shirt and Shinya for a moment observed him.

“I don’t want to go.”

“Oh! That’s new! I thought you wanted to work there.”

Shinya sighed and he stood up so he could sit on his bed.

“Well, I enjoyed it but now…”

“It’s this spy thing?”

Guren sat next to him and looked at him with concern.

“Well, yeah. It’s scares me that someone was leaking information to our enemy and we didn’t even noticed that. Not to mention that it was my job to observe them.”

Guren gave Shinya a sympathetic look and stroked his hair.

“Don’t worry, you are new there and it’s not your profession. You are a writer, not a detective. Not to mention that even Ferid didn’t notice that. It’s a pity that you lost this deal but you will have another opportunities in the future. And now, get up. Do your job and return home so we can watch some movies, what do you think?”

Shinya smiled to him and leaned to kiss Guren on the lips.

“Sounds good!”

“Okay, so what do y-!”

But Guren didn’t finish because Shinya wrapped his arms around Guren and pulled him towards himself, kissing him passionately on the bed.

“Shinya, I have work!”


Ferid was looking at the laptop in front of him and he raised his eyebrows, only to look again at Rika.

“Could you explain?”

The girl only crossed her arms and pointed her head at the laptop.

“Someone was looking through my files and did a poor job on that because he left some traces”


“Well, you have a proof that we seriously have a spy.”

Ferid rolled his eyes and looked with a smirk at Rika.

“So, you think that by showing me this you will prove that you are innocent?”

She only smirked and shook her head.

“You don’t have to believe me. Yes, I could have forged these records but I want you to know that I take your game seriously and I still want to take your seat when everything will be over. “

With this she left Ferid’s office and Ferid looked again at the laptop. It was a proof that someone was looking through Rika’s files but still it didn’t say much about the identity of the culprit.

He sighed and closed the laptop. Who was it?

“Bad day?”

Shinya entered his office and Ferid didn’t even look at him. He was looking at the ceiling, still trying to figure out who was the spy.

“Don’t even ask, you know the matter well.”

Shinya smiled and sat in front of Ferid.

“Tell me you have some news,” Ferid said, still looking at the ceiling and he heard Shinya sighing.

“Well, nothing more. I talked with our team. Rika is angry because somebody touched her laptop, Narumi is angry because he put a lot of effort into this project and Shuusaku didn’t even say a word to anybody because he doesn’t know who to trust.”

“So, nothing new, ”Ferid said while he closed his eyes, and Shinya sighed again. Their teammates were still accusing themselves and Ferid couldn’t blame them. He himself didn’t know whom to trust. He was glad that he had Shinya because at least he knew he won’t stab him in the back the moment he wasn’t paying attention.

Ferid took a deep breath and focused on his thoughts. He felt a slight throbbing pain in his leg but he knew it was because of the weather. Today it was raining and it was cold. Typical ‘spring’ weather, he joked.

“Does it hurt?”

Ferid ignored Shinya’s question while he was trying to focus on the work.

“Did you take your medication?”

“Shinya, please stop getting on my nerves. Yes, I took them.”

For a moment Shinya was silent again but it was Shinya. He couldn’t stay silent for longer than one minute.

“Ferid, it might be a bit stupid but… I don’t believe it was any of them. I’m talking about our team of course. They are taking this game seriously. Maybe it was someone else?”

“I want to believe this too, Shinya, but who else was there? Rika, Narumi, Shuusaku…. All of them were in this office, all of them knew what was going on, all of them…”

Suddenly Ferid stopped and he opened his eyes in surprise. He quickly looked at Shinya and Shinya frowned.


“All of them. Shinya, we were so stupid. The most obvious answer was right in front of us and we were too blind to see it. God, it’s so obvious!”

Shinya was looking a bit lost and Ferid smiled to him.

“Shinya, there was another person too.”

Shinya’s eyes widened.

“No, it can’t be!”


“Are you sure it’s here?”

“Yeah, that’s the place. Perfectly shabby for a spy.”

Ferid and Crowley were sitting in the car. The rain was still raining and Ferid was scrolling through his phone. It was dark outside and the light from Ferid’s phone was the only light source.

“They should be here in 5 minutes.”

Crowley nodded and looked at Ferid.

“Did you put the vest?”


Crowley frowned and Ferid rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I put that stupid vest on, although I don’t think it is necessary.”

“And I thought that you have learned something from your experience.”

Ferid only laughed at that.

Both of them were about to discover who the spy was, although Ferid already knew who the person was. It was so simple and he was so stupid that he hadn’t noticed it earlier.

After a ‘little action’ at the office Ferid obtained information where and when the spy will meet Hiiragi company and, lucky for him, it was next day. Today to be more specific.

He wanted to go there alone but when Crowley heard about it he got angry and said that he will go with him. Ferid didn’t even try to persuade him to change his mind because he knew it was pointless. Crowley decided to go with him and there was no other option. Sometimes he was so bossy and the fact that he was a policeman didn’t help.

He was a cop so it was normal that he wanted to go on an action like that. He even grabbed two bulletproof vests to protect them from bullets because who knows what Hiiragis are capable of. If the spy will be meeting one of Hiiragis today it was certain that ‘that person’ will come with his bodyguards. So Crowley decided to ‘borrow’, or more like steal, two bulletproof vests from his police station because Crowley knew that for Ferid running was out of question.

 “Maybe you should stay here and I will go?”

“Crowley, how many times do I have to tell you that I’m fine. My leg is not bothering me today.”

He was lying to him but he wasn’t in much pain, he could endure it without showing it on his face. Crowley sighed and zipped his jacket.

“Alright, let’s go then.”

Both of them were wearing black and Ferid was in a hoodie to cover his head. They didn’t want to be seen or worse, recognized. Crowley even put a cap on his head.

“We need to hide behind one of those containers,” Ferid pointed.

He wanted to laugh because this place was like from an action movie. Old hangar with some containers. Typical place for shabby meet ups with gangsters. They left their car two streets away to hide it from the view and not to leave any trace. Finally they entered the hangar and hid behind one of the containers.

“I swear I never imagined that your new job would include playing spy,” Crowley sighed, crouching next to Ferid. Both of them were hidden behind the containers but they found a perfect spot to observe the center of the hangar where the meeting will take place.

“I didn’t know it either but isn’t it just like your own job?”

“Ferid, I’m a policeman, not a spy.”

Ferid only pouted and went back to observing. Suddenly his face changed from playful to vicious.

“There they are.”

In the center of the hangar there were three men. Two were wearing black suits, one of them had a weird hair and wore more punkish clothes. Suddenly the other person joined them and Ferid smiled to himself. So he was right.

Yayoi Endo went towards the weird guy and both of them started talking. There was no politeness, no greetings. He immediately started asking her about Ferid’s plans. She told them everything she knew, which wasn’t much because they haven’t started a new project yet. She told them how messy the team was right now because of the failure. The guy smirked.

Ferid took his phone out and took a photo. He had his proof, which was the reason why he came here. He didn’t want Crowley to go alone because Crowley didn’t know how Yayoi looked like besides, maybe it was dangerous but he was having fun. It reminded him a bit of the moment with Tamahiko at his old bookstore. The same day he met Crowley. He only hoped that they won’t get shot this time. He was sick of hospitals.

“So, that little girl is the spy?”


Crowley shook his head.

“Who is she?”

“A secretary, or more like a girl who makes coffee.”

Crowley snorted.

“God, why are you working in that place.”

But suddenly Ferid put a hand on his mouth and went silent.

“Did you hear that?”

Crowley frowned trying to understand Ferid but his eyes suddenly widened.

“Someone is coming here, we have to get out!” he whispered to Ferid and both of them stood up quickly but silently because Yayoi was still talking with that man. If they saw them, they would be finished. Yayoi would recognize Ferid instantly.

“Let’s split up!”

Crowley didn’t even manage to respond because Ferid went the other way. He cursed. Ferid might be smarter than him but he was a cop! He knew what to do in situations like this. Not to mention the condition Ferid was in right know. Crowley knew that he shouldn’t be running. He shouldn’t be here in the first place!

 Crowley went deeper inside the hangar, hiding behind other containers.

“Who’s there?!”

He heard a voice, nearby. It was probably the owner or maybe the bodyguard. Crowley peaked carefully. It was definitely the owner and he was coming right into Crowley’s direction.

Crowley wanted to go outside but shit, this hangar was so big and these containers were like a labyrinth. So he turned right and…he was met with the dead end.

He cursed hearing the footsteps close. What he will tell this poor man? Maybe he will believe that he was lost.

Yeah, lost in the private hangar. Normal thing.

The footsteps were close and he prepared for a fight. Maybe he will just knock out that poor man? He wasn’t scared. He was only worried about the consequences. He knew that no one must know that they were there. Ferid only wanted the photo of the meeting because ‘he had his plan’ how to get rid of Yaoyi. Crowley even didn’t ask because he wasn’t sure that Ferid would tell him more than ‘You will see~’.

Crowley heard footsteps even louder, he decided to end this quickly with a fighting. He rearranged his cap to cover more of his face. But the moment the owner almost turned to his ally, he fainted and fell down.

Crowley stared for a moment at the unconscious man and then he looked up. It was so sudden that he seriously didn’t know what to think of it.

He saw Ferid who was holding a metal pipe, and Crowley looked stunned at him.

“What are you waiting for, Crowley? We have to go!”

“But…did you kill him?” Crowley asked still a bit taken aback.

“What?! No! He’s unconscious…probably…not our problem, but we will have a problem if we will stay here.”

“Ferid, I can’t leave him like that, I’m a cop!”

Ferid put his hands on his hips and threw the pipe away. At least he had gloves on.

“Well, mister policeman, explain what were you doing in the private hangar outside the town?”

Crowley was still speechless looking from an unconscious man to Ferid.


“No buts you’re a cop, not a doctor, let’s go!”

Ferid took his hand and both of them left the hangar. Ferid was looking around so he was sure that no one was following them but they were safe. They didn’t know if the meeting was still going on but no one was outside so they took a chance to escape unseen. When they were inside their car he let out a breath and laughed.

“Well, that was fun! Is your job always like that?”

Crowley was less amused and he sighed, trying to turn the car on.

“We don’t hurt innocent people, Ferid.”

“Oh, c’mon, should I have let him see you?”

“No, to be honest you did the only thing we could do but that…well, that’s against my job, you know?”

Ferid pouted, taking off the hood.

“Eh? And I thought your job was always like that. My, what an adventure! Maybe I should be a cop?”

“No Ferid, don’t even think about that.”

And with that both of them left. Fortunately for Ferid he got what he wanted. He had a photo of Yaoyi talking to one of Hiiragi’s guys, Shinya will probably recognize him, and he promised himself that he will destroy that girl for making a fool out of him.

“God, the things I do for you,” Crowley groaned and Ferid only smiled to him.


The next day Ferid was sitting in his office with a smirk. He had everything planned and he couldn’t wait to start his show. Everyone were at their positions and Ferid only waited for one person so he could start.

Shinya was standing near the door and he was observing the elevator waiting for Yayoi Endo to come to work.

Both of them were silent because Ferid was simply ignoring Shinya and Shinya was a bit scared of Ferid’s smirk.

It wasn’t a playful smirk, to which Shinya was accustomed. It was a smirk telling that he was going to destroy that girl without mercy. Shinya felt a bit sorry for that girl but, on the other hand, she gave them a little hell at their office and all of their hard work wen to waste because of her, so he had really mixed feelings about that girl.

The elevator’s door opened and Yayoi entered the office. She was smiling to their coworkers and went towards her desk. Shinya, without a word, left the room and went towards the girl. Ferid saw behind his glassy walls that Shinya was politely talking with the girl, pointing at his office, and Ferid only smiled towards the girl.

The prey entered the wolf’s cave with her naïve and irritating smile.

“Mr. Bathory, I heard that you were looking for me. Would you like a coffee?”

“Oh, that’s nice of you Yayoi, but no, thanks. I would like you to sit.”

The girl blinked and then she nervously sat in front of him. Was she already suspecting that he knew that she was a spy? She was averting his eyes but Ferid was looking at her all the time, with his smirk. Shinya closed the door and stood there with his poker face, looking from Ferid to Yayoi.

“So, tell me Yayoi, how long were you spying on me?”

She instantly bit her lip and squeezed the material of her skirt .

“Mr.Bathory! I seriously don’t know what you are talking about!”

So she was still going on with her naïve attitude. Stupid girl.

Ferid instantly took his phone out ad showed her the photo he took yesterday. Yayoi’s face was visible there next to Seishiro Hiiragi, Shinya’s adoptive brother.

Yesterday, after his little adventure with Crowley, he called Shinya to his apartment. He showed him this photo and Shinya only sighed. He recognized his trashy adoptive brother immediately. He also couldn’t believe that Ferid was right and Yayoi indeed was a spy. Even now Shinya couldn’t believe that this nice and innocent girl was meeting behind their backs with his brother.

“Are you telling me that it’s not you that is meeting Seishiro Hiiragi? My, have I gone blind? Maybe you’re right. Should I go to Mr. Karr and Mr.Gelas then to ask about their opinion?”

She immediately went white and looked with a panic at him.

“You can’t do that! They will kill me!”

Ferid smirked again.

“You think I care? So, are you still denying that you are a spy or will you start talking?”

She had tears in her eyes and Shinya only sighed and wished it was over.

“No…I’m….yes, I was telling them.”

“What exactly did you tell them?”

“I um…I told them everything I heard here…during the meetings…I copy the files from Rika’s laptop.”

Yayoi was visibly shaking but Ferid was not amused by her attitude. He felt no compassion towards her, only disgust that because of that weak girl he lost a whole week of preparations. One little pest to remove. The fact that this girl was using his coworkers’ work without asking made him even more angry at her and at his coworkers that they were so careless.

“How…how did you know about the meeting?” she asked weakly and Ferid crossed his arms.

“Let’s say you should always keep your phone with you..”

She immediately understood. Two days earlier the moment Ferid realized who was with them all the time, he made a plan. He used Shinya to distract Yayoi. Shinya came to her, telling her that the copy machine wasn’t working and that he was scared that he seriously broke something. Playing nice and naïve Shinya almost grabbed her hand and the flustered girl went with him. The moment she left her desk, Ferid came and looked around. It didn’t take much time. He immediately saw her phone and looked through her contacts. There was one suspicious message with the meeting details. Ferid knew there were two options. Either she was a spy or she had a date with someone new.

So he memorized the meeting place and it turned out to be a good decision.

“So, tell me then, who paid you.”


“Oh well, I know that, stupid. Which one?”

She bit her lip once again and looked down.

“I can’t say.”

Ferid snorted. Does this girl think that he will let her from here without telling him everything? What a stupid girl. It was time for his other trump card. He took out his phone again.

“You can’t? My, you are really brave, so what do you say about this.”

He showed her a photo and her face was even more white and her lips started trembling.

“How…how did you get that?!”

Before Ferid came to work he did his research on his coworkers. He had to be prepared because he knew that information like that were really important, especially in this company. His coworkers might play nice but he had to have some information he could use in the future against them.  He knew that Rika was divorced, he knew that Narumi was an orphan. He also knew that Yayoi had a little brother.

So he showed her a photo of her brother, still in school, taken only few minutes earlier. Ferid knew that Yayoi cared about him. He was her only family after all.

“So, Yayoi will you tell me who paid you or my ’friends’ will take care of your little brother. So what it will be?”

Yayoi cried loudly and the tears were pouring down her face. Shinya bit his lip and averted his eyes.

“Please! Don’t hurt him! It was…it was Kureto Hiiragi who paid me! He wanted me to make sure you would be a failure!”

The moment she said the words Ferid snorted. Shinya only looked surprised at the girl. His brother requested that? That was something he would do but the truth was that both of them were suspecting Saito. Once again they were surprised.

“Thank you, was it that hard?”

She nervously laughed.

“You don’t know them! They will kill me because of this.”

Oh, he knew them well. He knew what they did to Shinya and what they might have done to him.

“Then leave the office now. Take your brother and leave the country. Pack only what you need and don’t leave any tracks.”

“But…my brother…”

She looked at him with trembling lip and Ferid snorted.

“You have 10 minutes to leave this place and I won’t do anything to him. But if you call anyone during this time, and trust me I will know about this, then I will do a call too and your brother will be dead in one second. And remember Yayoi Endo to not mess with people like me, or more like, don’t mess with me Yayoi. I’m not someone who easily gives up.”

The girl immediately stood up and she quickly left the office. She gave a bit of a performance because she took her things and entered the elevator, deaf to Rika’s calling.

Ferid stood up and entered the office. Rika, Narumi and Shuusaku were looking at him a bit taken aback.

“Anyone would like to confess something now?”

Everyone shook their heads ad Ferid nodded. Not only he  did scare Yayoi but all his coworkers now knew that he wasn’t weak and forgiving. He was taking this game seriously without holding back. To be honest it was part of Ferid’s plan to show his team that he should be respected after he saw how messy they became after just one failure. He couldn’t work with people like that but he hoped that now they will behave.

“Good, I hope now you will go back to work  because we have a lot to do.”

“Mr.Bathory, what will be our next project?” Shuusaku asked a bit nervously. They were scared of him, good, time to start playing serious.

“We have to surprise Hiiragis. They know that we are targeting the small and new companies so whatever we will do, they will always know, which company we are targeting. That’s why we have to play a bit dirty.”

His team blinked, waiting for him to continue.

“We will target the next companies but we will also try to persuade the companies that Hiirgais already bought. We will give them more opportunities and advantages so they will change their minds.”

Each of them stared surprised at Ferid. Even Shinya was a bit taken aback but Ferid only smirked. He had a plan. He was thinking about it the whole night and he knew it was perfect.

Hiiragis weren’t suspecting that. They had a chance to surprise them. He knew it will be hard and double work but if he wanted to win this one, he had to do this.

“So gather all the information about Hiiragis companies and from tomorrow onwards  we will be working on this project. Get back to work!”

All of them were back to work, except for Rika.

“So, it was Yayoi?” she only asked and Ferid nodded.

“Yes, she was selling the information.”

Rika sighed and sat down.

“I will never get used to this work.”

“That’s good then, you won’t get bored,” Ferid only said and with that he left the office.


“So, can I stop playing the creep?”

Shinya laughed on the phone and Ferid only rolled his eyes from his place behind the desk. Shinya was talking on the phone with Guren and Ferid hated that, but he allowed it only this one time.

“Yeah, you did a good job.”

“Good then because it was fucking awkward standing in the corridor and trying to get a photo of that kid, you know that?! Goshi is now joking that I’m into school boys. Shinya, can I kill him?”

Shinya laughed again.

There it was.

The most dangerous assassin in the world.

Guren Ichinose.

Because it was like a ray of hope when both Shinya and Ferid discovered that Yayoi’s brother was going to Guren’s school. Shinya begged Guren to take a photo because they needed it. At first Guren was against it but then he learned that it was important and finally, he agreed to it.

Of course he agreed to that, after all it was Shinya who begged him. So he wasn’t doing this for Ferid’s company but for Shinya because Guren knew how devoted to this work Shinya was. He saw it this morning.

“Don’t worry, I will make it up to you. So maybe a movie? And I will make dinner!”

Guren laughed on the phone and Ferid rolled his eyes again, murmuring something like ‘fools’.

“Yeah, sounds nice. And tell Ferid that he owes me one!”

Shinya smiled and hung up.

“Your deadliest friend sends you greetings.”

Ferid grimaced theatrically.


Shinya laughed and went towards Ferid. He sat in front of him, looking at the papers that he had to fill later.

“So, you did that. You got rid of that girl.”

“Of course I did. It was fun, actually.”

Shinya had different definition of fun, but well, it was definitely inspiring for his novel.

Ferid was now different. He had his bored look on as he was working on his computer and Shinya was glad. From the moment they started working here he couldn’t get used to Ferid playing his dirty and dangerous game. Sometimes he was acting like a different person and once again Shinya thought that this place had a bad influence on Ferid. He was still his friend but Shinya was scared that Ferid might start acting like he was acting before.

Or he might be even worse.

But Shinya knew that Ferid still had Crowley and Crowley was a good guy so even if Ferid started changing, Crowley would fix him again.

“Well, yeah. Glad we had Guren, our deadly friend!”

He joked but Ferid went back to work without even looking at him.

“Who said that I didn’t send a real assassin to observe him.”

Shinya laughed nervously but stopped.

“Tell me you’re joking.”

“Who knows~,” Ferid only said while he was typing something on the computer.

Shinya didn’t know.

He wanted to ask again but, at the same moment, Ferid’s phone rang and Ferid took it.

“Ferid Bathory, who am I talking to?”

He said with bored tone but the moment he heard the voice, his expression changed.

“Hello, son, I was thinking…maybe we should meet and eat a dinner?”