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Dress Code (The Good for Goose and Gander Remix)

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“How about short dresses?” said James. “You have these frankly wonderful legs legs and I’d love to show them off them at the dance. And the other girls aren’t half bad either.”

“Minis?” Lily grimaced. “I’m not going to replay my aunt’s wedding, and she married 12 years ago.” She leaned into James and pulled her legs up on the sofa. “If you want legs, how about a nice flared jumpsuit?” Lily raised a leg and ran a hand down along the jeans seam.

“Mhmm, with a deep neckline.” James embraced Lily from behind and trailed a long V down to below Lily’s breasts.

“We’ll need a sticking charm,” said Lily, “so nothing can fall out when we tease you as much as you can bear.” She put her hand on his to keep it in place on her belly.

“I can live with a jumpsuit.” James frowned, “Except for the dancing. Dancing needs skirts.”

“True enough,” said Lily. “How about putting you boys in kilts then?”

James closed his eyes for a moment and pictured the scene. “None of us is Scottish, though.”

“But we’re marrying in Scotland. Reason enough to show some leg.”

“That’s rather arbitrary, but if you say so. Traditional?” James asked.

“If you want a Bianca Jagger type top on the jumpsuit, you better bare some skin too.”

“Fair’s fair”. James grinned.

“It’s thus decided then, jumpsuits for the girls, kilts for the boys. Lets mix it up a bit.”

Lily leaned back into her husband-to-be and hesitated for a moment.

“I’m a bit worried about Severus, though.” she said.

“Well, he might not come. Bonus as far as I’m concerned”

“James!” Lily swatted at the air in the vicinity of her love’s shoulder.

“If he is a friend of yours, he will come.” said James, “In a kilt. Marlene though might struggle a bit with the suit.”

“She’s not really built for that, true. But she’d probably be just as bad off in a caftan style dress.”

“Hairy legs or shaved?”

“Knee-socks and hair. I want sexy male legs.”

“And ease of access. How much do you bet Sirius and Remus take advantage some time that evening?”

“No bet. I’m sure at some point during the dinner, we’ll look over to them and we’ll find Sirius missing, because he’ll slide off his chair,” Lily rolled off James and down to the floor where she knelt and mimed diving under a skirt, “and he’ll have his mouth full, while Remus will try hard to keep his breathing quiet and not blush.”

James snickered and put his left hand on Lily’s head while with his right he mimed using a fork. “If he’s smart, he cuts up his food and then just uses his fork.”

Lily collapsed on James’ crotch and giggled softly. “I might disappear under the table too, you know.”

“Promises, promises”, said James.

- - -

Marlene MacKinnon was short, rather curvy and as James and Lily had remarked, not really built for jump suits or in fact any type of dress that emphasised legs. But, she reasoned, the dress code was meant to make the bride and groom look good and not anybody else.

“I still don’t know how you talked me into this monstrosity of a jump suit”, she said to Lily as they were dressing up and she held the top of her suit almost closed to apply the sticking charm, “but I have to admit, the boys do look tasty.”

“They do, don’t they?” Lily grinned as she peeked through the curtains.

“It’s just a shame about Remus and Sirius.” Marlene sighed.

“A shame?” Lily asked slightly put out.

“These slim tight bodies, those legs”, Marlene fanned herself. “And they only have eyes for each other. A girl could get despondent. Prime unavailable hunks.”

She sat down and slipped on her short platform boots.

“You know, I spent the whole of sixth year trying to catch Sirius’s eye. I could have gone for Frank or Robbie, but no, I wanted Sirius. To find out he was permanently unavailable sent me into a two-weeks Honeyduke’s binge.”

“You should have asked me, I could have set you straight earlier. Come here, take a peek.”

Outside, Sirius pulled Remus into tight embrace and one hand disappeared under the kilt. While the hand was hidden from view for the rest of the party, it was clearly visible from a certain window with drawn curtains.

“We should have gone with skirts”, said Marlene. “I want someone to do that to me.”

- - -

“Remus, love?” Sirius called up the attic stairs. “What are you doing? I thought the box with the old school texts was labeled? What’s taking you so long? Remus?”

Sirius climbed up the stairs and saw Remus kneeling over an open box.

“Remus?” he asked again.

“Love, remember this?” Remus held up a loose piece of cloth.

“The kilt.”

“Yes. They’re both in here.”

Sirius sat down hard beside him and dug into the box to take out the second one. They sat there for a few moments silent, both with a kilt on their lap, caught in a memory.

“It was a great wedding, wasn’t it.” said Remus.

“Oh yes. James looked delicious and Lily was just sinful.” Sirius smiled, lost in the memory.

“You also did not complain when we went out for a smoke behind the inn.” said Remus.

“No, I didn’t. Those kilts really proved perfect for discretion.”

“Considering the sounds and faces you made, I think discretion wasn’t quite as upheld as you think.” said Remus.

“Yes, well. Nobody could see anything at least, so discretion was maintained.” said Sirius.

“If you say so.”

“I Sirius, scion of the most inbred house of Black say so. And as I say so, it is so.”

“Of course it is, Tweedledee.”

“Damn right!” said Sirius, “Now, let’s collect those books for Harry and get down again, before he comes home. And make sure he gets yours with the helpful notes and not mine with the naughty doodles.”

Sirius looked down at the kilt in his lap.

“And how abaout,” he said after a moment, “tonight, when he’s in bed, we’ll put on these things again and re-celebrate that wedding.”

“Sounds good,” said Remus, “But let’s get them washed before, twelve-year-old dust isn’t sexy at all. Now where are those books?”