Chapter Nine: Fixer Uppers
Elsa covered her mouth with her hand as she let out a small laugh. “Thank you, Anna, for being wonderful and accepting and for being the best friend a mermaid could have.” She leaned over and gave the other girl a kiss on the cheek. The girls both blushed madly. “Goodbye, Anna. Have a lovely evening!”
“You too, Elsa! Bye!” As Elsa started her journey home, Anna stayed in the cave. Two revelations occurred to her as she squeezed the water out of her hair. “Elsa kissed me!” she squealed. “I was right about it not feeling as awkward,” she murmered to herself, referring back to her thoughts at the Bjorgman house a month ago. “Shit, Kristoff!” Anna froze and bit her lip. “I’m more in love with Elsa than I am with my own semi-almost-boyfriend… Oh, what am I going to do?!”
It was still early enough in the day at this point for Anna to visit Kristoff’s house. How she was going to break the news to him, she didn’t know. The only thing she did know was that she couldn’t remain almost dating him if she was in love with someone else.. I’m not in love with just someone else though, I’m in love with someone Elsa, she thought to herself with a laugh. She nearly forgot to stop and change out of the drenched clothes into something warm and dry. When she stepped into the house, her father stopped her.
“Alright, I’ll bite. What happened this time, Krumkake?” Hans said with a laugh, picking a piece of seaweed off of his daughter’s head and tossing it back out the door.
Anna groaned. “Dad! I thought you dropped the whole ‘Krumkake’ thing. It’s so embarrassing!”
Hans raised one eyebrow. “So you don’t want to have some of the delicious krumkake I made for dessert?”
“Of course I want to eat the krumkake; I just don’t want to be it,” she countered with a roll of her eyes. “Anyway, I’m going to go change into something dry and then I’m heading to Kristoff’s house for a little bit,” she said as she made her way to and up the staircase. “I should be home in time for supper,” she called down.
Her father slowly strolled over to the foot of the staircase and shouted up, “You haven’t mentioned much about that boy lately. Are you two still-”
“Not for very much longer, Dad,” Anna said as she stomped down the stairs, squeezing a towel around her hair in an attempt to dry it out. She brushed the knots out as she continued, “That’s what I’m going to see him about. He’s a nice guy but I can’t keep dating him if I’m in love with someone else.”
Mr. Hansen’s eyes nearly popped out of his head at that revelation. “You only ever told me about that one other friend that you made. Who is he and how did he get your heart?”
Anna sighed a little bit and she finished rebraiding her fiery mane. She grabbed her keys off the counter. “Please don’t get mad about this Daddy…”
“What do I have to be mad about?” Hans asked, starting to get irritated with his daughter’s lack of details. The redheaded girl started to slide her way out the door. “Anna, what do I have to be mad about?!” He asked, getting increasingly irritated.
“It’s not a he, it’s a she.” With that, Anna popped out the door and closed it swiftly behind her, running to the Bjorgman house.
Hans couldn’t even begin to process the newly acquired information. His baby girl liked girls. She was a lesbian. He stormed off into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of akevitt. “I’m getting too old for this,” he grumbled, tossing back the liquor.
Anna turned to look behind her as she continued running. When she deemed herself far enough away, she stopped to take a deep breath. “Man, I really need to get in shape,” she panted. She resumed walking toward Kristoff’s house, trying desperately to figure out how she should tell him the truth. “I’ll look it up; that should help somehow, right?” she said, trying desperately to convince herself that this would be easy when she knew that this was one of the most difficult things she would ever have to do. Anna stopped and sat on a bench under a streetlight and typed into her phone ‘tips on how to break up with your boyfriend’ and clicked the second link, a wikihow article that had steps.
“Let’s see here…” she muttered as she scrolled down. “Pick a good place, do it in person. I’m already doing okay here.” She continued down the list. “‘Be honest.’ I can do that. Just tell him that it wasn’t his fault, but I fell in love with someone else? No, that isn’t right.” She chewed on her lip before skipping to the next step. “‘Give him space.’ But Kristoff and I are friends. Does this mean we can’t hang out anymore?” She sighed. “You know what? Just go do it. Nothing I’ve ever planned out has gone the way I planned so I might as well just wing it. I mean, what could go wrong?” She would regret that statement in an hour, but blissfully unaware of that fact, Anna started heading toward the Bjorgman house again.
Knock, knock, knock-knock, knock.
The front door opened. “Anna!” yelled a small voice as the redhead felt a child slam into her legs and latch on before she saw Lina smiling up at her. Anna leaned down and picked the girl up, giving her a big hug. Anna stepped inside and kicked the door closed behind her before setting Lina down.
“Hiya sweetie,” she said with a smile. “What’s up?” The small girl immediately launched into a detailed monologue of every moment that had happened since the last time she saw Anna. Kristoff walked in mid-soliloquy.
“Feisty-pants!” He lifted Anna up into a hug. She laughed and immediately felt disgusted with herself for being happy when he pulled her into his arms. She wasn’t supposed to acknowledge that just before she broke up with the poor guy.
Hem-hem , came a little cough. Lina glared up at her brother for the interruption. “Sorry Li-li, I’m stealing Anna for a bit.”
Oh no , thought Anna as she and Kristoff made their way to the backyard. Here it comes. I have to tell him.
“Kristoff, we need to talk,” the redhead said once they got outside.
Kristoff looked puzzled. “What is it feisty-pants?”
“It’s about us…” The blonde’s face fell. He seemed to know what was coming. “I don’t think we can be together anymore.” Kristoff opened his mouth to say something, but Anna cut him off. “It’s not you. I still totally wanna be friend’s with you. It’s just….”
His voice was cold when he stopped her. “Spare me the bullsiht, Anna.” She looked shocked as he continued, mocking her. “‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ Really? I thought you would have enough respect for me, at least as a friend, to tell me the truth.”
Anna’s eyes glistened with tears. “I fell in love with someone else, Kristoff,” she said, voice breaking. “I’m sorry.” Neither noticed that they were gathering an audience consisting of the Bjorgmans peeking out the windows.
Kristoff didn’t respond immediately. After a few minutes he whispered, “I’m sorry too.”
Anna rose and started to walk away, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. Bulda ran out and stopped her. “What’s the issue, dear?” she asked, giving the girl a tight hug.
“It’s over,” Anna whispered. “Kristoff and I can’t be together anymore.” The rest of the family trickled out to listen.
Bulda frowned. “Why are you holding back from such a man? Is it the clumpy way he walks?”
Cliff, Kristoff’s father, asked, “Is it because he talks like a grumpy old man?”
The twins, Sebastian and Peter, said together, “He does always end up sort of smelly.”
Bulda hushed them “But you’ll never meet a fellow who’s as sensitive and sweet as my Kristoff here,” she said, beaming at her eldest son.
Lina tugged on Anna’s arm and Anna bent down to her level. The little girl said, “I get it. He tinkles in the woods, and that’s icky.”
Anna stood up stick straight and grimaced. “I did not need to know that.”
Cliff asked another question. “Is it due to his unmanly blondeness?”
Anna blushed a bit, thinking to herself, It’s most definitely not the blondeness considering Elsa’s a blonde.
Bulda commented. “He’s just a bit of a fixer upper, dear.”
Kristoff had had it. “ENOUGH!” he screamed. “She is in love with someone else, okay?!”
Cliff whispered to his wife, “Maybe she a fixer upper too.”
Pål muttered to Peter, “I don’t see no ring.”
Anna blinked a few times. “Wait, what?”
Once Kristoff managed to shoo his family away, he asked Anna some questions.
“What is the purpose of this again?” Anna asked indignantly.
“I need to make sure this chump is good enough for my best friend. Now answer. What’s his last name?”
“That is so not a real last name. What’s his favorite food?”
“Fish?” Anna could not see the point of the interrogation. She also couldn’t answer all of the questions accurately because she either didn’t know the answer or because she couldn’t say the answer without giving something away.
“Best friend’s name?”
“Anna.” Kristoff glared at her for that one. “What? It’s true. We’re best friends,” she said angrily.
“A dreamy cerulean blue that reminds me of the sky and snowflakes…” she said dreamily.
“Foot size doesn’t matter.” Plus she doesn’t have feet… Anna chuckled at her thought.
“Have you had a meal with him yet? What if you hate the way he eats?”
“No, but we’re having a picnic tomorrow,” she stated matter of factly. “We’re going to have food from both of our cultures.”
“What if you hate the way he picks his nose?”
“Ew, no. That doesn’t happen,” Anna said, wrinkling her nose.
“What’s his first name?” Kristoff asked, realizing that he didn’t even know the name of the guy who was stealing his feisty-pants.
Kristoff stopped. “Elsa?” When Anna nodded, he asked, “A girl?”
Anna glared at him, but nodded again.
“Well, this changes things.”
“It changes nothing. I love her and that’s all that matters,” Anna quipped defensively.
“It means foot size doesn’t matter,” Kristoff said dryly. Anna giggled. It didn’t matter if her dad couldn’t accept it as long as she had someone on her side.
Anna went home late that night and took her krumkake in her room instead of waiting in a place where her dad might confront her. She knew he was angry about her liking another girl, but there was something else that was keeping her away from him. She just didn’t know what. She decided to follow her gut for now and sleep on it.
When she woke up the next morning, she remembered everything.