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Three reasons why this is not a manga

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Cody dropped his phone on the carpeted floor when an arm suddenly came out of nowhere and slammed into the wall next to his head. He looked up and saw a bearded face grinning down at him.


"Hi good looking. Looking good today"

Cody sighed "Thanks? What is this?" He pointed at Michael's outstretched arm that was still resting against the wall, effectively trapping Cody.

"Oh this little thing is called Kabe-don" Michael smiled "It's very popular in romantic Japanese high-school dramas"

"Ah" Cody said, pushing his glasses up on his nose "We're white men in our 30's and at work, though. I don't even remember when I left high-school" After taking a quick look at Michael's beard and beginning dad-bod he added "And I'm pretty sure you don't either"

"True, but besides that we're almost perfect for it. Me, a tall handsome man, and you, a small nerdy guy with big glasses. Manga artists couldn't have drawn it better themselves"

"I'm average height"

Michael winked "Nothing average about you"

Like any other person in the world Cody was a sucker for flattery, but he only almost blushed. Instead he tried walking around Michael, only for his other arm to to fly up and block his way.

"That's not how a Kabe-don ends" Michael grinned.

"How does it end?"

"You either punch me or we have a tender moment according to the internet"

Michael subtly tensed up, clearly preparing himself for a punch on some random part of his body. Cody looked over his shoulder. No one around.

Standing up on his toes ever so slightly Cody placed the most gentle kiss of his life on Michael's lips. He head Michael make a tiny sound but Cody kept the kiss going for a second longer before pulling back. He was met by Michael's big eyed, slack jawed face. No doubt the he was seeing pink cherry petals fly in all directions. He leaned in for a second kiss, but Cody quickly lowered himself to the floor, picked up his phone and ducked under Michael's arm. Just for good measure he slapped Michael's ass as he passed him.

Michael looked after him in complete shock, then at his hands like he had discovered a hidden power. Cody was too busy checking if his phone was okay after the drop.

He later saw Michael with a big bruise on his face. No doubt he had tried using the maneuver on someone else.