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It was Friday evening. They spontaneously decided to meet in their studio in Falun to start looking for some ideas for their new album - first one with the new line-up. Neither Joakim nor Pär believed that this would work - it was always the two of them writing the lyrics and the singer composing music on his own. The rest of the band was never involved in the creative process. But Chris, Thobbe and Hannes really wanted to do it together, or even just try. Maybe it could give Sabaton’s music a new, fresh sound, that would make all the complaining about “the new guys” grumblers shut up (not that there were many of them - quite opposite, actually. But those, who hadn’t accepted the change, were a really bad pain in the neck). And even if they didn’t come up with anything, they got the chance to spend together a nice evening, and that was something they never refused to do. The chemistry in the band was something unbelievable. They liked each other and were good friends from the first meetings, but during the Swedish Empire Tour they became brothers. It felt like the long-missing pieces were found and put in the right places - in the band. Chris, Hannes and Thobbe had the chance to make their dreams come true - they became members of a big, still growing band and could tour around the world -  and Pär and Joakim got the shot of new, heavy-metal energy, electrifying them with excitement. Sabaton’s line-up change couldn’t have ended up better.

So there they were - five guys, who love heavy metal more than anything, sitting together and having a fucking good time. It turned out to be as Pär and Joakim thought it would. Chris brought a few beers, and Hannes accidentally found a hidden fridge full of, well, many more beers. So they had a shitload of alcohol, and that had to end up the way it did. They were slowly getting drunk, playing any random songs that popped up in their heads and constantly pulling each other’s leg. Just like in the beginning, 15 years earlier. It looked exactly the same as back then, and Pär felt a little melancholic. He didn’t realise how much he missed it until he saw Joakim running away from Hannes, who just had to make sure the singer wasn’t ticklish (and that was a big problem, because hell yes he was) and Thobbe and Chris trying to catch salted peanuts with their mouths. Of course they did things like this before when they were touring, but spending a free evening together only because they wanted to was something they hadn’t done with the old band members for a long time. It felt so familiar and natural that the bassist’s heart ached for a second. When the thought suddenly hit him, he almost fell of the couch.

The effort of keeping balance was worthless. Just seconds after Pär managed to stay where he was sitting, he felt an unexpected hit. And after that everything happened in a split second.

“Help me!” the singer screamed like a little girl before jumping on the smaller man. He wrapped his arms around his best friend’s neck, thinking it would defend him from being tickled by heartless Hannes. Well, it did, but it also made the bassist lose his balance. The two of them leaned to the right and fell down. They hit the floor with another scream from Joakim and quiet curses from Pär. The rest of the band laughed really fucking hard at the groaning tangle of limbs.

“Man, what the fuck?” a muffled voice coming from under the singers body was heard and caused even more laughs.

“Not the best idea I’ve ever had, I got to admit that” Joakim mumbled in response, lifting his upper body, so the man lying under him could breath and be seen. He received a trademark pissed-but-not-for-real look and answered to it with a huge grin.

“Go get a room or something” Thobbe interrupted when they stared in each other’s eyes for a bit too long.

“I could tell you the same thing” the singer shot back before Chris opened his mouth to sing “Gay division!” and suggestively looked at the two guitarists. The silence lasted for three seconds, and then all of them burst into laugh. Good for the dark-haired man, who blushed a little. But only a little.

Joakim got up and finally freed his best friend, who exhaled deeply. Not that the singer was fat or anything. Actually he was in a pretty good shape at that time, but still, he was taller and better built than the skinny bassist. And as much as Pär loved the warmth of the other man’s body around him and the pleasing pressure on his hips exerted by Joakim sitting on them, he felt fucking uncomfortable with the rest of the band being around and watching them. So he was very thankful to every god and goddess when he stood up and the other guys stopped observing him.

“Hey, what’s in there?” Chris got very curious about literally everything in the studio after another beer.

“I don’t remember. It’s been years since I cleaned up all the cabinets” the one the guitarist asked about was placed near the TV, so Pär guessed there were some old DVDs with movies they could watch a million times back then.

Chris got up, walked over to the cabinet and searched through its drawers, looking for anything interesting. The rest of the band started making jokes of each other again and forgot about the guitarist’s curious actions. They didn’t really pay attention to him, so they got scared when he screamed after finding something.

“You have this and never told me about it?” he showed them a small package that looked like a play station game.

“Oh no” one look and Pär already knew what Chris had found.

“Fucking hell! My game!” Joakim yelled and got next to the guitarist in a split second.

“What’s that?” confused Thobbe asked before he saw the bassist’s pleading look saying “Don’t ask”.

“This, my friend, is THE shit” the singer looked like a little boy, happy after finding his long-lost favourite toy.

“Jocke used to be obsessed with this shit. He would play every free second he had and behaved batshit crazy when we wanted to do something else” at first Pär didn’t seem to be happy with seeing the hated game, but then started laughing as he was calling to mind the old times.“Seriously, if any of us wanted to play the PS but not that fucking shit - don’t look at me like that, Joakim, this is shitty and you know about it - we had to wait till he was gone to work or fell asleep.”

“Then we went on tour and I, sadly, couldn’t play it on the tour bus, so it was left here. And as we got back, this fucker” the singer, who continued the thrilling story, pointed at the bassist. “hid it away from me.”

“I didn’t hide anything” Pär crossed his arms over his chest.“It was you, who put it in there, not me.”

“Funny I couldn’t find it after we came back from the tour.”

“Funny you forgot about it after one day.”

Hannes couldn’t help but grin like an idiot. Pär and Jocke acting like an old married couple never failed to make him smile. He found them hella adorable when they were teasing or “arguing” with each other, exchanging looks like they there wasn't anyone in the world except themselves.

Chris’ eyes shined bright with excitement. “Man, I loved this game. We need to play it!”

“Finally, someone with a great taste!” the singer took the package and set all the things.

Pär rolled his eyes and opened another beer. He needed more alcohol in his bloodstream if he had to watch Joakim playing the goddamned game again.

“I have to warn you against losing, my friend, as I’m the boss and no one had ever beaten me.” Jocke said proudly and ignored the unimpressed look he got from the bassist as the game was loading. “But don’t worry, I’ll give you a head start.” 

“It’s not me whom you should give a head” Chris retorted and tellingly looked at Pär. Thobbe choked on a mouthful of beer and Hannes froze with his mouth opened, and then, after a few seconds of deadly silence, they burst into the hardest laugh in their whole life. There were tears rolling down their faces and they couldn’t stop it even if they wanted to. The drummer wanted to tell the guitarist how good was that one, but he was panting and had troubles with catching his breath. Chris laughed as well, being proud of his response. Maybe he would get kicked out of the band, but seeing Pär blushing like hell was definitely worth it. His cheeks burning red only confirmed the “new” guys’ supposition that something was up.

The game was fully loaded when they finally stopped laughing and calmed down, so everyone focused on the screen. The three not-playing band members soon lost interest in watching the game, though listening to the players’ light-hearted insults towards each other was quite fun.

They ordered some pizza, drank even more beer and spend the evening in so relaxing, positive atmosphere, that Pär felt like he was 20 years old again. It was just the band having fun and making him love them ever more. No worries, no stressing thoughts about their uncertain future. He didn’t realise how much he needed it. He was truly happy and encouraged to go one step further with Sabaton’s career. Everything seemed to be possible with those guys.

He cared about them more than he’d admit, so around 1 a.m. he called the cab to take them home. Having Thobbe, Chris and Hannes put safely in the car, he went back to close the studio and couldn’t hide his surprised look when saw Joakim.

“Jocke? What are you doing here? I thought you went-” he was interrupted with a hushing breath on his lips. He froze for a second, staring intensively in the singer’s deep, brown eyes. He could’ve drowned in that sincere, loving gaze. He fell for it at once when they met for the first time, although he didn’t even know about it back then. The awareness of the feelings he had for the singer came with time.

When their lips touched gently, Pär got shivers down his spine. It was the same pleasantly electrifying feeling he’d experienced when they’d kissed for the first time. He put his hands on the other man’s shoulders and felt strong arms on his waist, bringing him closer. That was it. They’d been thinking about this one moment since they fell down and laid on the floor together. It was a fucking torture when they couldn’t at least hold hands in front of the rest of the band, and hiding their longing gazes was even harder.

Fingers ran through the bassist’s long hair, playing with them. His soft spot. A quiet moan escaped from his lips, which encouraged Joakim to slowly go one step further, making the little at the beginning kiss grow bigger and more intense. His tongue slipped inside the smaller man’s mouth and started to explore it. He’d done it a thousand times before, but it felt like the first time every time. He wanted to do it in a slow, gentle way, so they would be burning inside for hours, but he got carried away by the familiar emotions exploding under his skin like fireworks.

Pär was overwhelmed with sensations. The strong smell of Cologne and alcohol. The ridiculously sweet taste of Joakim’s passionate kisses. The burning heat of his touch. The miraculous feeling of being as close as possible and getting even closer, like they were about to become one. The excitement of knowing there’s more to come. They got the bassist breathless.

The singer pulled the other man’s hair to expose the pale neck and placed there a hot, wet kiss. That was the moment Pär broke down. Lust took over control of the heated body. He needed it desperately. All of it. He tried to tilt his head back even more and give Jocke space to move with his satisfying mouth. Leaning back, he hit the wall with his head and decided to press his back against it, in case he couldn’t stand on his shaking knees.

When two hands slipped under Pär’s T-shirt, he melted. The singer’s fingers brushed the soft skin and set it on fire, which quickly spread all over his body. His chest was burning, making it hard for him to catch his breath. The sharp teeth and playful tongue leaving hickeys on his neck were driving him crazy. The moans were getting louder, he couldn’t hold them back anymore. On the one hand the bassist wanted the lustful misery to finally end, but on the other the captivating pleasure could last forever. Right then, Joakim could’ve done literally anything to him, and he’d still be the happiest man in the world.

He opened his eyes and gave his lover a questioning look when the older man started to unzip his trousers with one hand. “W-Wait. You wanna do this here?” not that he minded, but the hall didn’t seem to be the best place for them to make out.

“Honey, I’ve been thinking about this moment since Chris told me to go down on you. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you” the singer’s eyes darkened, pupils dilated with desire. He leaned into another kiss full of passion, and greedily took everything the smaller man offered him. The thick sexual tension stifled the air in his lungs. He stared into Pär’s blue, shiny eyes. He wanted to see there the exploding mix of emotions when he slipped into his boxers and touched him tenderly. The hardly muffled hiss was the music to his ears.

If there was something better than being pleased, it was pleasing Pär. Joakim loved seeing his lover crumble under his fingers to death. He could’ve spent all his lifetime on touching him, stretching him to the limit and exceeding it. Hearing his name between endearing moans was more addictive than any drug. During moments like this, he didn’t think about his own hunger. The only thing that mattered was satisfying Pär, taking him to the top and higher. He cherished every aspect of doing it. The beautiful, sparkling eyes. The shaky breath. The messy, looking like a halo hair. The hisses, groans and whispered curses, the non-verbal begging for more. It drove Joakim to the edge, he didn’t need anything else.

The kiss was broken for a moment. Jocke tilted his head to see Pär’s entire face. He began to stroke him slowly and heard a gasp, which, to his delight, quickly turned into a moan. Watching his lover biting his bottom lip and closing his eyes in pleasure caused a groan he hardly held back. The bassist’s stomach muscles tensed. He was burning hot and pulsing, and the fist wrapped around him stared to move faster. Whatever he had to say, it was swallowed by another hungry kiss the singer placed on his mouth. Their teeth clashed, tongues tangled, taste of lust shared. Pär clenched his fists on the other man’s shoulders and opened his eyes to look right into the brown ones. The sparkling gaze had him mesmerised.

Joakim broke the kiss once again and, keeping the eye contact, slowly knelt before Pär. Normally, he’d play with him longer, try to drive him insane, and then end his misery in the act of kindness. But that time, he couldn’t control himself. After the tour he was fucking done with hiding their relationship, and spending one more evening like that was too much for him to handle. He had to relieve his lust, needed to recompense all the nights when they’d had to sleep separately. So close, yet so far. A real torture they had been tortured with most of the time on the tour. The nights spent in hotels were a godsend 

He pulled down the trousers and boxers with a flick of his hand, and stared at his lover with affection, caressing the thighs. The tension was palpable. He looked painfully hard, and Jocke felt incredibly happy about being the one who could set him free from the craving. He unconsciously licked his lips and heard Pär holding his breath. He looked the smaller man in the eye, slowly leaning forward to place a soft kiss on the top, and then licked him with the tip of the tongue, over his entire length. The shaky sigh the singer got in response encouraged him to keep going.

The breathing above him was getting deeper, chest heaving, legs trembling. The bassist usually reacted like that, but Joakim never had enough of it. It turned him on and satisfied like nothing else. He looked up and saw Pär’s gaze, pleading, craving, sparkling with lust. A wide, devilish grin showed up on his face for a moment, and then he opened his mouth and wrapped his lips around his lover. The pace was slow, as it should be at the beginning, and the move precise, focused on taking him into the back of the throat.

The best way of expressing how Pär felt was the hiss which escaped from his mouth and his suddenly shut eyes. A crazy mix of love, lust, pleasure and the sweet something he couldn’t name hit him with all its intoxicating power. Breathing may be essential for living, but then it was far from being his priority. He wanted to concentrate on the overwhelming feeling he experienced, and didn’t even notice he was holding his breath.

When he got himself together after the shock, he opened his eyes and looked down. Joakim was there, on his knees, working miracles with his mouth, staring at the face covered with a blush that felt like a gasoline fire. In his adoring gaze the bassist saw deep affection, desire and everything he needed to feel being loved. It was even better than the act itself.

A shiver went down Pär’s spine when a pair of cold hands started to explore his body. They were everywhere. Thighs, lap, back, chest. He was surrounded with light brushes of fingers making him see stars. The singer wanted to caress every inch of his lover’s soft, pale skin, so there wouldn’t be a cold, untouched place. Although he knew the small body by heart, it was as exciting as it was when he’d been doing this for the first time. All those muscles, curves, bones. All his. He left some red scratches on the back with his nails to claim his man, as if the shitload of hickeys on the neck wasn’t enough.

The blond head hit the wall once again when the bassist leaned it in reflex. Normally it would hurt, but then the pleasure covered the pain. Joakim was increasing the pace, moving his head faster and faster, sucking him like never before. Pär moaned with how slick and perfect he felt around him. And that bloody tongue. What the man was doing with it, it just couldn’t be real. He swirled around him like in a some kind of a sexual dance, licked him thoroughly, and after all, he’d clean him, too.

After all these years spent together the bassist was like an open and read for a thousand times book, he was aware of that fact, but it still impressed him how well the singer knew his needs and how to fulfil them in the most pleasing way. He didn’t have to say a word - just one look, one unconscious facial express, and Joakim did things before they even came to the blonde’s mind.

Pär let out another groan when he felt a sharp move involving teeth. It always surprised him, as Jocke didn’t do it often, and when he did, it was short and rough, sometimes actually done by an accident. But it felt really good, made the bassist’s knees even weaker and more shaky.

The singer was going down on him like a lightning. The naturally talented lips were only moving up and down fast as hell, but the real magic was happening inside. The tongue was sliding everywhere in a deliberate way, though it seemed to be rather chaotic. The hard, mind-blowing suction almost made Pär faint. He was breathing heavily, the scent of lust filling his lungs. His legs were shaking and his hips thrusting forwards, meeting the sweet heat of the other man’s mouth.

Pär felt he was close, moaning, hissing and calling Joakim’s name all the time. The world spun around him, the only stable thing was the wall behind his back. He raised his hands to lean on it, brushing the skin behind the singer’s left ear by accident. His soft spot, probably the most erogenous one. The deep groan he let out flooded the bassist’s body with burning sensations. The shiver went from the top of his head to the tip of his toes, rocking him like a hurricane, taking his ragged breath away.

That was it.Pär gasped and froze, all his muscles tensed, the pulse humming in his ears. The heat of bliss spilled in his heaving chest. He was falling into pieces, every part of him flaming with the fire of appeased desire. The long moan mingled with the singer’s name he was repeating under his breath. He blacked out for a second and if Joakim’s strong hands didn’t hold him, he’d probably fall down. He thrust his hips one last time and came, his entire body jerking from the force of his climax.

Joakim waited till the last hot wave of his lover’s satisfaction was over, and slowly got up off his knees. The look on the smaller man’s face melted his heart. Blue eyes big and sparkling, cheeks hot and burning, pink lips parted in awe. He placed on them a delicate, sweet kiss, mildly caressing Pär’s chest.The corners of his mouth slid upwards. They had all night to make up for the tour.




“Do you think they’re making out now?” Chris was staring out the window, looking for something in the dark, winter night. “They are, for sure. I didn’t see Jocke leaving.”

“Well, to be honest I don’t-”

“Why won’t they come out?”


“They are together, I’m more than fucking sure!” he threw his hands up in the air, the frustration in his voice almost palpable. “Their long gazes, their teasing, the way they unconsciously touch each other all the time!”

 “Um, Chris-”

“They had it written all over their faces, and their actions only confirm it!” 


“Do they think I’m bloody blind?!”

“Chris, for fuck's sake! Right now I don’t give a damn about what they’re think and what they’re doing. You know about them, I know about them, and that’s enough. They’ll tell when they’re ready” two arms from behind locked the guitarist in an embrace, swaying him calmly. Thobbe’s soothing voice silenced the other man when he opened his mouth to continue his rant. “Hush, darling, we’re going to bed.”