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Learning Chemistry

Chapter Text

Sirius is bold

Remus is italic

Alice is underlined




Thursday Night. September 15th. 7:03 p.m.


How much would I have to pay you to just pretend to tutor me so we never actually have to do it?

Sent at 7:03 p.m.


Hello to you, too!

Sent at 7:10 p.m.


Great to meet you. I’m fine, thanks. How are you? Yes, the weather IS a bit dreary today.

Sent at 7:10 p.m.


Yeah, whatever, cheers. Now how much d’you want?

Sent at 7:11 p.m.


I’m /terribly/ hurt that you don’t want to meet with me .

Sent at 7:12 p.m.


No offense, but I do have better ways to spend my Friday nights. I don’t want to be seen studying with some random nerd. Again. No offense.

Sent at 7:13 p.m.


How could I possibly be offended by that?

Sent at 7:15 p.m.


Oh, c’mon. You’re from Hogwarts. You must know you’re a nerd. I did say no offense. Now answer! I’m swimming in it so name your price, how much cash do you want?

Sent at 7:15 p.m.


Classy. Unfortunately, my grade depends on you doing well, too. How good are you at cheating?

Sent at 7:16 p.m.


Excellent. I’m a pro at anything I do. No need to fear.

Sent at 7:17 p.m.


Although I am surprised to hear a nerd suggesting I cheat! What are they teaching you over there? That must be scandalous for Hogwarts.

Sent at 7:18 p.m.


Is this the part where I push up my nerd-glasses? If you do well on your next test, then maybe we can get away with not meeting. This may come as a shock to you, but I also have better things to do on Friday nights.

Sent at 7:19 p.m.



Sent at 7:20 p.m.


Have you ever been to Hogwarts? Is this what everyone at St. Godric’s thinks of us?

Sent at 7:20 p.m.


I’m just teasing. Well, sort of... And, no, I haven’t been. Why? Are you all secretly rebels?

Sent at 7:21 p.m.


No. We all wear suspenders and thick-framed glasses. We cheer when we’re assigned homework and we study over summer break.

Sent at 7:22 p.m.


Alright, I pushed the nerd thing too far, noted. But who signs up to voluntarily tutor someone? You aren’t even being paid.

Sent at 7:23 p.m.


Someone who wants to look good to potential universities and boost their grades. Like I said, if you do well I do, too. Cheat well, don’t get caught.

Sent at 7:24 p.m.


Aye, aye. How much $ do you want?

Sent at 7:25 p.m.


Keep your money. I don’t want it. Plus, what will you swim in if you give it away?

Sent at 7:26 p.m.


Alright, Hogwarts, you made me laugh a bit there. I’m impressed.

Sent at 7:27 p.m.


Happy to please. Sit next to someone smart so you get an A. When’s your next test?

Sent at 7:28 p.m.


I’ve absolutely no idea.

Sent at 7:28 p.m.



Sent at 7:28 p.m.


Oh, Prongs says we have one on Monday.

Sent at 7:31 p.m.


Do I even want to ask what the hell a ‘Prongs’ is?

Sent at 7:32 p.m.


He’s offended, that’s what he is. (He’s also my best mate with a very clever nickname that I made all by myself)

Sent at 7:32 p.m.


Just get an A.

Sent at 7:33 p.m.


I’m starting you to think you don’t have much faith in me, Hogwarts.

Sent at 7:34 p.m.


I don’t think I have any at all, Sirius.

Sent at 7:36 p.m.


Wait how did you get my name? Why don’t I know yours?

Sent at 7:36 p.m.


Also, ouch.

Sent at 7:37 p.m.


They gave me your name when they gave me your number. You don’t know mine? They just gave you a number?

Sent at 7:38 p.m.


Would I be calling you ‘Hogwarts’ if I knew your name?

Sent at 7:39 p.m.


I don’t know. Maybe? I assumed St. Godric boys just did stuff like that. Random nicknames. For example, ‘Prongs’.

Sent at 7:40 p.m.


Fair. But I’ve just realized I know absolutely nothing about you. I don’t even know what gender you are. Or your age. Christ, if you’re thirteen or some shit I might jump off the Astronomy Tower. If Sluggy thinks he can get a pre-teen to tutor me I might lose it.

Sent at 7:42 p.m.


Example number two: ‘Sluggy’.

Sent at 7:43 p.m.


How can you be so sure that Sluggy isn’t his real name?

Sent at 7:44 p.m.


Because Slughorn’s the one who warned me about you when I was assigned as your tutor.

Sent at 7:45 p.m.


That fucker. He hates me, I’m sure he said awful things.

Sent at 7:48 p.m.


Actually he said you were really polite, studious, and eager to learn.

Sent at 7:49 p.m.


He did???

Sent at 7:51 p.m.



Sent at 7:51 p.m.


He basically said you’d be an annoying prick and you’d fight any opportunity to learn. I have no idea where he got that from... Also, I’m kind of offended that you thought I was 13. I’m 17 if that helps your ego.

Sent at 7:51 p.m.


He’s a prick. And yes, it does help my ego because I’m 17, too. Keep going, more information please. Name, gender, etc.

Sent at 7:52 p.m.


Are we writing Tinder bios now?

Sent at 7:54 p.m.


Ah, perfect.

Sent at 7:55 p.m.


I’ll go first.

Sent at 7:55 p.m.


“Sirius. 17. M. St. Godric’s. If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.”

Sent at 7:58 p.m.


Classy. That must get all the ladies, huh?

Sent at 7:59 p.m.


Oh, it gets everyone. Your turn.

Sent at 8:01 p.m.



Sent at 8:03 p.m.


“Remus. 17. M. Hogwarts. Belle in the streets. Beast in the sheets.”

Sent at 8:07 p.m.



Sent at 8:08 p.m.


You got another real laugh from me, Hogwarts. Or, should I say, Remus.

Sent at 8:09 p.m.


Prongs and Wormy (Example number 3: Wormy. I know. Maybe I have a thing for nicknames...) are telling me to stop texting you because they think I’m flirting and apparently I’m “absent from the conversation”, so I must go. Bonne nuit, Belle.

Sent at 8:12 p.m.


You mean to say you’re /not/ flirting with me? I’m horribly upset. And I didn’t peg St. Godric boys as people who studied French.

Sent at 8:14 p.m.


I never said I /wasn’t/ flirting, babe. xxx

Sent at 8:15 p.m.


Et je sais comment parler français à cause de ma famille. Malheureusement.

Sent at 8:16 p.m.


Are you fluent?

Sent at 8:17 p.m.



Sent at 8:17 p.m.


That’s a shame. French is a beautiful language.

Sent at 8:18 p.m.


I agree. For example, this is a beautiful phrase I learned whilst galavanting in France last summer: Suce-moi la bite.

Sent at 8:20 p.m.


And what does that mean?

Sent at 8:21 p.m.


Suck my dick.

Sent at 8:21 p.m.



Sent at 8:22 p.m.



Sent at 8:22 p.m.


Bonne nuit, bite.

Sent at 8:23 p.m.


Night, Remmy. I’ll talk dirty to you in French some more in the morning xxx

Sent at 8:23 p.m.


Please don’t.

Sent at 8:25 p.m.


Also don’t call me “Remmy”

Sent at 8:32 p.m.


Friday Morning. September 16th. 6:34 a.m.


Bonjour Remmy! Tu me fais bander. xxx

Sent at 6:34 a.m.


Christ, whatthe hell?? Why the duck are you awake?

Sent at 6:35 a.m.


Duck? You don’t have your nerd-glasses on yet, do you?

Sent at 6:36 a.m.


Autocorrect. Would it upset you to learn that I don’t actually wear glasses? I’m just fucking tired. Why are you up so early?

Sent at 6:37 a.m.


Early bird gets the worm!

Sent at 6:38 a.m.


Prongs, Wormy, and I are also currently playing a prank on some dicks from our school. So, there’s that.

Sent at 6:40 a.m.


And you were compelled to wake me up because…?

Sent at 6:41 a.m.


I’m bored. You were entertaining last night.

Sent at 6:43 a.m.


Well, I’m not entertaining in the morning. Text me at a decent hour.

Sent at 6:45 a.m.




Friday. September 16th. 7:34 a.m.


How about now?

Sent at 7:34 a.m.


Fuck off.

Sent at 7:36 a.m.




Friday. September 16th. 8:45 a.m.



Sent at 8:45 a.m.


I’m turning off my phone.

Sent at 8:46 a.m.




Friday. September 16th 10:15 a.m.


I was late to class. I forgot my alarm wouldn’t ring if my phone was off. I blame you .

Sent at 10:15 a.m.


Morning, Sleeping Beauty!

Sent at 10:16 a.m.


How’d your prank go?

Sent at 10:18 a.m.


Splendidly. We all received a week’s worth of detention.

Sent at 10:20 a.m.


And that’s splendid?

Sent at 10:21 a.m.


Yes, because the look on my brother’s face was priceless.

Sent at 10:21 a.m.


Your brother is one of the so-called “dicks” you pranked? Sounds like some unresolved family tensions there.

Sent at 10:24 a.m.




Friday. September 16th 11:05 a.m.


I’m guessing I crossed a line. Sorry.

Sent at 11:05 a.m.




Friday. September 16th 11:45 a.m.


No, no, you didn’t. Minnie stole my phone.

Sent at 11:45 a.m.



Sent at 11:50 a.m.


Our Head of Year. She claims she prefers McGonagall, but really she loves it when we call her ‘Minnie’.

Sent at 11:52 a.m.


(Example number 4.) And I can only guess that the nickname “Minnie” is why she confiscated your phone.

Sent at 11:54 a.m.



Sent at 12:00 p.m.




Saturday. September 17th 7:02 a.m.


Wakey wakey!

Sent at 7:02 a.m.


I’m going to block your number.

Sent at 7:03 a.m.


It’s a Saturday. Let me sleep.

Sent at 7:03 a.m.


Je suis désolé

Sent at 7:04 a.m.


Stop with the bloody French.

Sent at 7:05 a.m.


Le ouch :’(

Sent at 7:06 a.m.



Sent at 7:06 a.m.




Saturday. September 17th 3:04 p.m.


What was the prank, by the way? Was it successful?

Sent at 3:04 p.m.


Oh so now you’re interested, aye? (PLEASE tell me you didn’t JUST wake up??)

Sent at 3:05 p.m.


And do you consider effectively painting five people’s faces with semi-permanent green paint a success?

Sent at 3:06 p.m.


Uh… No? (And I woke up at noon, like a regular teenager should on a SATURDAY)

Sent at 3:07 p.m.


Well, you should. They were pissed. It was hilarious. They’re all still green. (I like mornings. I’m a regular teenager)

Sent at 3:08 p.m.


Including your dick of a brother? (You aren’t)

Sent 3:08 p.m.


Of course. (I am)

Sent at 3:10 p.m.


What compelled you guys to do it? (No.)

Sent at 3:11 p.m.


They’re snakes. We painted them green to match. There’s a long, messed up history between us and them. It’s sort of like a prank war. (This joke has gone on too long)

Sent at 3:12 p.m


Sort of? (Agreed.)

Sent at 3:15 p.m.


Well, they don’t prank back. It’s one-sided. (Let’s stop)

Sent at 3:15 p.m.


Hmm… So it’s nothing like a prank war? (Then stop doing it back.)

Sent at 3:16 p.m.


Tomatoe, tomato. (No, you hang up first ;) )

Sent at 3:17 p.m.


You better cheat better than you flirt.

Sent at 3:18 p.m.


Who said I was flirting this time, Remmy-poo?

Sent at 3:20 p.m.


No. Absolutely not. “Remmy” was bad enough.

Sent at 3:21 p.m.


Remmy-poo it is then.

Sent at 3:28 p.m.




Saturday. September 17th 5:03 p.m.


Remmy-poo, please. It’s rude to ignore the handsome stranger texting you xxx

Sent at 5:03 p.m.




Saturday. September 17th 7:16 p.m.


C’mon, Remmy-poo...

Sent at 7:16 p.m.




Saturday. September 17th 7:50 p.m.


Fine, I’ll call you “Remus”. Even if it is boring…

Sent at 7:50 p.m.




Saturday. September 17th 8:23 p.m.


Hey, Remus… Idk if this is part of the ‘bit’ or whatever but, are you okay?

Sent at 8:23 p.m.




Saturday. September 17th 10:01 p.m.


Oh, yeah. Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you.

Sent at 10:01 p.m.


No, no, I wasn’t worried I was just curious.

Sent at 10:03 p.m.


Sure xxx

Sent at 10:04 p.m.


But you are okay?

Sent at 10:05 p.m.



Sent at 10:17 p.m.


You’re sure?

Sent at 10:18 p.m.


For someone who isn’t worried about me, you seem awfully worried. Bonne nuit .

Sent at 10:20 p.m.



Sent at 10:25 p.m.




Sunday. September 18th 9:08 a.m.


I let you sleep in this morning

Sent at 9:08 a.m.


You still woke me up, but I guess it’s a decent hour.

Sent at 9:10 a.m.


I worry that you’re sleeping your life away, young Remmy-poo

Sent at 9:12 a.m.


You sound like Alice.

Sent at 9:13 a.m.



Sent at 9:13 a.m.


My friend. She acts like she’s my mum.

Sent at 9:14 a.m.


Sounds like Prongs

Sent at 9:15 a.m.


Anyway… Onto more important issues. How does one completely ignore their phone for seven hours? I never go anywhere without mine

Sent at 9:16 a.m.


I turned it off.

Sent at 9:17 a.m.


Why’s that?

Sent at 9:17 a.m.


I didn’t want to talk to anyone.

Sent at 9:18 a.m.



Sent at 9:18 a.m.


Because I wanted to be alone .

Sent at 9:21 a.m.



Sent at 9:21 a.m.


Stop or I’ll do it again.

Sent at 9:23 a.m.


I think you’re hiding something. I’m very good at picking up on this stuff

Sent at 9:25 a.m.


Really?? Why would I hide something from a complete stranger? That’s crazy!

Sent at 9:28 a.m.


I’m just checking in. Are you absolutely sure that you’re okay? Absolutely?

Sent at 9:31 a.m.



Sent at 9:35 a.m.


See, I just don’t buy it.

Sent at 9:36 a.m.


Yeah, I’m shutting my phone off again.

Sent at 9:38 a.m.



Sent at 9:40 a.m.


Sunday. September 18th 11:03 a.m.


Did you actually shut it off?

Sent at 11:03 a.m.


No. Now leave me be so I can study in peace.

Sent at 11:06 a.m.


You /are/ a nerd.

Sent at 11:07 a.m.




Sunday. September 18th 7:34 p.m.


Have you talked to Alice? About whatever it is that got you upset?

Sent at 7:34 p.m.


Christ. I wasn’t upset, /mum/. Lay off it.

Sent at 7:37 p.m.


Listen, I get the broody ‘sulking in silence’ act, but it doesn’t help. Talk to Alice.

Sent at 7:39 p.m.


Sirius. We don’t know each other. Please knock it off, you don’t know anything about me. I was not upset.

Sent at 7:47 p.m.


I know plenty about you. For example, I know your Tinder bio. I know that you don’t wear glasses. Two very essential things for any friendship.

Sent at 7:49 p.m.


And since when were we friends?

Sent at 7:51 p.m.



Sent at 7:54 p.m.


That’s not what I meant. I just didn’t think we were. In fact, all of this started because you didn’t want to get to know me at all.

Sent at 7:55 p.m.


Yes, but now I’m intrigued. The broody, mysterious type has always been my thing. That doesn’t mean I want to meet up on a Friday night to study. I mean, if you had other things in mind, sure. ( ;) ) But study? No.

Sent at 7:56 p.m.


I thought you just told me not to become the “broody, mysterious type.”

Sent at 7:57 p.m.


Are you ignoring my obvious pick up line on purpose? Are you trying to hurt my feelings, Remmy-poo?

Sent at 8:00 p.m.


Yes. Precisely that.

Sent at 8:01 p.m.


Cheat well tomorrow. I’ve got things to do. Goodnight.

Sent at 8:03 p.m.


See! Mysterious! “Things to do”? Whatever does that entail? ;)

Sent at 8:05 p.m.


Bonne nuit! xxx

Sent at 8:06 p.m.




Monday. September 19th 7:17 a.m.


I’ve never been so prepared to cheat in my life. I’m going to crush it.

Sent at 7:17 a.m.


What if I blocked your number? Would I get some sleep then?

Sent at 7:18 a.m.


Oh, you love it xxx

Sent at 7:19 a.m.


No, I don’t xxx

Sent at 7:19 a.m.


Wish me luck or I’ll cry, Remmy-poo

Sent at 7:20 a.m.


Don’t get caught.

Sent at 7:22 a.m.



Sent at 7:23 a.m.



Sent at 7:24 a.m.




Monday. September 19th 3:14 p.m.


How’d it go then?

Sent at 3:14 p.m.



Sent at 3:15 p.m.


Fuck, what happened?

Sent at 3:16 p.m.



Sent at 3:16 p.m.


Er… Just out of curiosity… How much did you say this affects your grade?

Sent at 3:17 p.m.



Sent at 3:17 p.m.


What. The. Hell. Happened?

Sent at 3:18 p.m.


So sorry, Sirius can’t come to the phone right now.

Sent at 3:19 p.m.



Sent at 3:19 p.m.


Just remember how witty and charming I am after you’ve killed me

Sent at 3:20 p.m.



Sent at 3:21 p.m.


What. Happened!?

Sent at 3:24 p.m.



Sent at 3:25 p.m.


Christ .

Sent at 3:30 p.m.




Monday. September 19th 4:02 p.m.



Sent at 4:02 p.m.



Sent at 4:06 p.m.



Sent at 4:06 p.m.


It couldn’t have been that bad! Just tell me! The anticipation is worse!

Sent at 4:11 p.m.




Monday. September 19th 5:46 p.m.


Are .

Sent at 5:46 p.m.



Sent at 5:46 p.m.



Sent at 5:46 p.m.


Kidding .

Sent at 5:46 p.m.



Sent at 5:46 p.m.


Ah, Remmy-poo! So lovely to hear from you again…

Sent at 5:47 p.m.


AN “F”??? YOU GOT AN “F”?????

Sent at 5:47 P.M.


You FAILED?! Like, you literally got THIRTY out of ONE HUNDRED?! You must have TRIED to do poorly. How is that possible!?

Sent at 5:48 p.m.


You see, I have a very acceptable excuse for this. Just give me a second to explain!

Sent at 5:49 p.m.


No! I don’t believe it already. How on earth could you fuck up this badly? My Chemistry professor is giving me one more chance, but he says if you do this poorly again he’ll start deducting points. Fuck, Sirius. What the hell? What happened to “I’m-good-at-every-fucking-thing-I-do-Sirius”?!

Sent at 5:51 p.m.


I can see that you’re angry. Let’s think rationally here. Is this the end of the world? No. Is this something that anger can fix? No. Is this completely and entirely Wormtail’s fault and NOT Sirius’s? Yes.

Sent at 5:54 p.m.


I’m giving you one chance to explain this. One.

Sent at 5:57 p.m.


There I was, about to sit next to my arch-nemesis, Snivellus Snape, all for your sake! Then! All of a sudden! Fucking Wormy slides past me and plops himself down in the chair I was ABOUT to sit in, right next to Snivellus. I told him to get up, but he claimed HE needed to cheat off Snivellus, too. I fought valiantly. I was halfway through yanking him out of the chair when Slughorn told me he was taking 10 points off my grade and that he would take off another 10 if I didn’t go sit in the last open seat (all the way in the back). It’s truly not my fault!

Sent at 6:02 p.m.


So you lost 10 points there, but what about the other SIXTY?

Sent at 6:04 p.m.


I’m really, really shite at Chem.

Sent at 6:05 p.m.



Sent at 6:07 p.m.


We’re meeting on Friday. And we’re going to study.

Sent at 6:08 p.m.


Do we have to? I hate studying :(

Sent at 6:09 p.m.


You’re walking on thin ice.

Sent at 6:11 p.m.


Also, I refuse to believe that you have an arch-nemesis. Especially one named “Snivellus”.

Sent at 6:12 p.m.


Technically, his name is Severus. He’s vile.

Sent at 6:13 p.m.


He’s one of the dicks you painted green?

Sent at 6:15 p.m.


You catch on quick.

Sent at 6:15 p.m.


Do I want to know?

Sent at 6:16 p.m.


Mm… Probably not. Long history and all.

Sent at 6:17 p.m.



Sent at 6:18 p.m.


What’s your last name?

Sent at 6:18 p.m.


Black. Why?

Sent at 6:19 p.m.


It’s hard to yell at someone and sound genuinely mad when you only know their first name.

Sent at 6:20 p.m.


Ah, I see. My middle name is “Orion”, for when you get exceptionally angry ;)

Sent at 6:21 p.m.


That winky face doesn’t even make sense there.

Sent at 6:22 p.m.



Sent at 6:23 p.m.


What’s yours, then?

Sent at 6:25 p.m.



Sent at 6:26 p.m.


No. No fucking way. Your name is not Remus fucking Lupin. You’ve heard of Remus and Romulus I can only assume? And Lupin literally means “wolf”, doesn’t it? Do you parents have a wolf obsession or something?

Sent at 6:27 p.m.


You don’t want to start this argument. Sirius Orion Black? That’s a constellation, isn’t it?

Sent at 6:29 p.m.


Fair enough, Wolfy.

Sent at 6:30 p.m.


I absolutely refuse to be called “Wolfy”. I’ll stop texting you forever.

Sent at 6:32 p.m.


I’ll find a nickname you like soon enough ;)

Sent at 6:33 p.m.


I’m also very impressed with your knowledge of constellations.

Sent at 6:34 p.m.



Sent at 6:36 p.m.


Alright… I get how it can be annoying using “;)” where it doesn’t belong.

Sent at 6:38 p.m.



Sent at 6:40 p.m.


Are you still mad at me, Wolfster?

Sent at 6:43 p.m.


I’m electing to forgive you at the moment. Don’t make me regret it.

Sent at 6:45 p.m.


You won’t xxx

Sent at 6:46 p.m.


I’m still sort of pissed at you and your horrible cheating skills, though. Now, I’m going to dinner.

Sent at 6:48 p.m.


I’ll miss you, Jacob.

Sent at 6:49 p.m.



Sent at 6:51 p.m.


The werewolf from Twilight, of course!

Sent at 6:52 p.m.


I’m not acknowledging that.

Sent at 6:54 p.m.



Sent at 6:55 p.m.




Tuesday. September 20th 10:09 a.m.


Surely you’re awake by now. Do you even have class in the morning?

Sent at 10:09 a.m.


I’m awake, I have class, I can’t talk today. Sorry.

Sent at 10:14 a.m.


Are you okay?

Sent at 10:18 a.m.



Sent at 10:24 a.m.




Tuesday. September 20th 1:43 p.m.


You can’t just skip class all day, Remus. Where are you?

Sent at 1:43 p.m.


I told you. I’m at the nurse.

Sent at 1:45 p.m.


Don’t lie, I’m IN the nurse's office now. You aren’t here.

Sent at 1:46 p.m.


Just give me some space, Alice.

Sent at 1:47 p.m.


I won’t force you back to class, I’m just worried about you. Tell me where you are so we can talk.

Sent at 1:48 p.m.


I don’t want to talk.

Sent at 1:48 p.m.


Are you smoking?

Sent at 1:49 p.m.


Of course not. That would be absolutely irresponsible and unhealthy.

Sent at 1:49 p.m.


You are.

Sent at 1:50 p.m.


You’re a fantastic detective.

Sent at 1:53 p.m.


Please talk to me, Remus. I don’t even know what set you off this time. Is it because of “him”?

Sent at 1:54 p.m.


Please let me be alone. And please don’t mention him.

Sent at 1:58 p.m.


I’m sorry, Remus, I know it’s hard for you to see him everyday but maybe if you talked about it with someone? Is it about your breakup? Was it really THAT bad?

Sent at 1:59 p.m.




Tuesday. September 20th 2:48 p.m.



Sent at 2:48 p.m.


Please don’t shut me out. Did you turn off your phone again?

Sent at 2:49 p.m.


*Incoming call from Alice (2:52 p.m.)



*Incoming call from Alice (2:53 p.m.)



Remus, please.

Sent at 2:55 p.m.



Sent at 2:58 p.m.


Fine. But I’m here when you’re ready to talk.

Sent at 3:00 p.m.




Tuesday. September 20th 9:04 p.m.


Are you still being broody and mysterious?

Sent at 9:04 p.m.


I never was.

Sent at 9:05 p.m.


That’s a shame. Like I said, I do have a thing for the bad-boys ;)

Sent at 9:06 p.m.


Terribly sorry to disappoint.

Sent at 9:08 p.m.


It’s okay, I think I’m developing a thing for the nerdy-boys, too.

Sent at 9:09 p.m.


Maybe it’ll help your chances to actually study and impress them.

Sent at 9:10 p.m.


Sometimes I think you’re trying to hurt my feelings.

Sent at 9:11 p.m.



Sent at 9:14 p.m.




Wednesday. September 21st 6:25 a.m.


Don’t your roommates hate me? If I’m waking you up each morning, aren’t I waking them too?

Sent at 6:25 a.m.


Ehatthe ellSirius

Sent at 6:26 a.m.


That’s complete gibberish. I refuse to believe you don’t wear glasses.

Sent at 6:27 a.m.


Ler mesleep

Sent at 6:28 a.m.


What time do you actually go to bed?

Sent at 6:29 a.m.


Turningoff phone

Sent at 6:30 a.m.



Sent at 6:31 a.m.




Wednesday. September 21st 8:45 a.m.


I don’t have a roommate this year and I literally hate you.

Sent at 8:45 a.m.


No roommate? That must be lonely. Idk what I’d do without Prongs and Wormy to annoy every morning. Why don’t you have a roommate?

Sent at 8:47 a.m.


Prefects get their own rooms at Hogwarts. It works better this way, most of my friends are girls anyway, so I’d rather have a room to myself than share with strangers.

Sent at 8:48 a.m.


Of course you’re a Prefect, you nerd.

Sent at 8:49 a.m.


And a ladies man, aye? ;)

Sent at 8:50 a.m.


Hahah I’ve never been called that before. Sure, let’s go with it. SUCH a ladies man. I TOTALLY have the girls swooning for me.

Sent at 8:51 a.m.


I can see why! A broody, mysterious nerd? Who wouldn’t swoon?

Sent at 8:53 a.m.


Careful, Sirius, you might just be projecting your own wet dreams on them.

Sent at 8:57 a.m.


Wooooowwwwww. Raunchy, Moony! (That’s your new name. No objections, I like it)

Sent at 9:00 a.m.


Surprisingly, I don’t mind it that much.

Sent at 9:03 a.m.


But you do need to tell me -- Why are you awake so early every single morning?

Sent at 9:05 a.m.


Hmm… That’s a rather personal question. If I answer, you have to answer a question of mine with 100% honesty.

Sent at 9:06 a.m.


Depends on the question.

Sent at 9:09 a.m.


Nope! If I tell you, you HAVE to answer my question. C’mon, Moony, play nicely

Sent at 9:10 a.m.


Fine. Now tell me.

Sent at 9:13 a.m.


I wake up early from nightmares most mornings. Because of them, I’m usually up at around 5 in the morning, so I’m being considerate waiting an hour or two before waking you up.

Sent at 9:15 a.m.


That sucks. What are they about?

Sent at 9:16 a.m.


Nope! It’s not your turn! It’s mine! Why did you turn your phone off for seven hours that day? And why were you broody yesterday?

Sent at 9:17 a.m.


That’s two questions.

Sent at 9:18 a.m.


I’m deducing that they were for the same reason, so technically it’s just one answer.

Sent at 9:20 a.m.


Well done, Nancy Drew. I ran into my ex both times. We had a bad relationship.

Sent at 9:25 a.m.


Must have been terrible to make you go off the grid all day. What happened between you two?

Sent at 9:26 a.m.


It isn’t your turn.

Sent at 9:27 a.m.


Fine, ask me another question.

Sent at 9:29 a.m.


Not now, class is about to begin. If I ask you another, you’ll ask me another and I’ve got to keep you in the dark in order to keep up my mysterious and broody reputation.

Sent at 9:31 a.m.


You just want to be the star of my wet dreams, you cheeky wolf.

Sent at 9:32 a.m.



Sent at 9:33 a.m.




Wednesday. September 21st 5:02 p.m.


Will you pleaseeeeee ask me a question? I’m dying to know your dramatic, broody backstory, but it won’t be fair for me to ask a question until you ask me one first.

Sent at 5:02 p.m.


Fine, but I’m not telling you everything when you ask. What are your nightmares about?

Sent at 5:04 p.m.


If you’re holding out on me, I’ll hold out on you. They’re about my family, typically.

Sent at 5:06 p.m.


What happened between you and your ex? She cheat on you or something?

Sent at 5:07 p.m.


Uh, he. My ex-boyfriend, not ex-girlfriend.

Sent at 5:08 p.m.


REMUS WOLF LUPIN! You continue to break my heart. I thought you were ignoring my obvious seduction because you were straight. Now I see that you’re gay and you’re still not into me. :’(

Sent at 5:09 p.m.


It’s not you, it’s me?

Sent at 5:11 p.m.


Stuff it, Lupin. Now tell me about your tragic past.

Sent at 5:12 p.m.


He was just rather toxic. He did cheat on me, you were right. I hate talking about him, though. He was gone from school last year for the last few months and now that he’s back it’s all been a bit much. Let’s not bring him up anymore, yeah?

Sent at 5:14 p.m.


Understood. Didn’t mean to bring up bad memories, I was just curious. Sorry. It’s your turn.

Sent at 5:15 p.m.


Tell me about Prongs and Wormy.

Sent at 5:16 p.m.


That’s not really a question. And they’re not ANYWHERE near as interesting as me.

Sent at 5:17 p.m.


C’mon, I’m curious. I want to know what the people who deal with you on a 24-hour basis are like. How do they manage?

Sent at 5:18 p.m.


Oi! I assure you that Prongs is much worse than me. Fine, I’ll tell you a bit about them. First of all, they’re both terribly straight. This is unfortunate because Jamesie-dear was my first crush. That was when we were eleven, however, and now we’re basically brothers. I live with James and his family on holidays from school.

Sent at 5:19 p.m.


You aren’t the only one with a mysterious back-story ;)

Sent at 5:20 p.m.


James is Prongs, by the way. He’s terribly and hopelessly infatuated with this girl Evans. Actually, she goes to your school, maybe you know her? Redhead? Sassy? Slaps Prongsie in the face when he tries to flirt with her?

Sent at 5:21 p.m.



Sent at 5:23 p.m.


James? As in James POTTER? Captain of your rugby team?

Sent at 5:24 p.m.


Why have you heard of him when you haven’t heard of me? :( I’m on the rugby team, too.

Sent at 5:27 p.m.


Lily Evans is one of my closest friends. I’ve seen James a few times before. Almost all of them ended with a drink being thrown into his face. THAT’S Prongs?

Sent at 5:30 p.m.


That’s Prongs. Does that mean you’ve seen me before? Long black hair? Leather jacket? Devilishly handsome? ;)

Sent at 5:32 p.m.


Can’t say I recall.

Sent at 5:34 p.m.


Then you didn’t see me. I’m quite memorable, you’d know if we met.

Sent at 5:37 p.m.


Sure. xxx

Sent at 5:48 p.m.


I’ve got to go, talk to you later.

Sent at 5:50 p.m.


I think you’re just avoiding my next question, but alright! Have a nice night, Moonster. I’ll see you in my dreams xxx

Sent at 5:52 p.m.


They’ll be wet ;)

Sent at 5:53 p.m.


Sent at 5:59 p.m.



Sent at 6:00 p.m.


Too far?

Sent at 6:01 p.m.


Definitely xxx

Sent at 6:03 p.m.




Thursday. September 22nd 10:13 a.m.


As much as I dread spending my Friday night studying, I am quite excited to see you. If I can’t woo you over text, maybe I’ll be able to in real life ;)

Sent at 10:13 a.m.


Hmm… I doubt it, I have very high standards.

Sent at 10:14 a.m.


And what are said “standards”?

Sent at 10:15 a.m.


If I told you, all the fun of watching you fail at ‘wooing’ me would be gone xxx

Sent at 10:16 a.m.



Sent at 10:17 a.m.




Thursday. September 22nd 8:22 p.m.


Where do we meet tomorrow? Technically, St. Godric only lets us go into Hogsmeade on Fridays, but I’m pretty good at sneaking around, so it could really be anywhere.

Sent at 8:22 p.m.


You said you were pretty good at cheating, too, and look where that got us.

Sent at 8:34 p.m.


Stone cold, Moony. Ouch.

Sent at 8:37 p.m.


Let’s just meet at the Starbucks in Hogsmeade. Around six?

Sent at 8:40 p.m.


Sounds like a date!

Sent at 8:42 p.m.


In your dreams xxx

Sent at 8:43 p.m.




Friday. September 23rd 6:01 p.m.


I thought nerds were supposed to be punctual. You’re exactly one minute late. Tick, tock.

Sent at 6:01 p.m.



Sent at 6:12 p.m.


Did you really stand me up to study?

Sent at 6:25 p.m.

“Um… Hello, are you Sirius?” A voice came so quietly from behind Sirius that he barely heard it.


Sirius shoved his phone back into the pocket of his leather jacket, ran a hand through his hair, and turned around with a practiced smirk on his face. It dissipated quickly when he saw a rather petite girl standing in front of him.


“You aren’t Remus.”


“No.” The girl let out a genuine laugh, then looked a bit uncomfortable. “I’m Alice. Remus said he would tell you I was coming… He didn’t? Um, well… He couldn’t make it today. He sent me, instead.”


“Oh.” Sirius replied, feeling inexplicably disappointed. “Is he alright?”


“His mum had a fall, apparently.” Alice shrugged as she led the pair over to an empty table. She began to pull out various supplies from her backpack, including two massive Chemistry books. “He’s all the family that she’s got, so he had to return home this morning and find someone to care for her while he’s at school.”


“That sounds awful.” Sirius stated, finding his words to sound rather dumb once he said them. He watched Alice continue to empty the contents of her seemingly never-ending bag onto the small table between them. “You’re sure you aren’t just catfishing me?”


Alice looked up, her eyebrows knitting together. “Why would I catfish you by posing as a bloke? And all so I could tutor you in Chemistry?” Suddenly, Alice’s face seemed to light up, “Wait a second… You’re the one Remus has been texting all the time, aren’t you?”


“Uh, well, I suppose?” Sirius was startled by the unexpected shift in mood.


“That’s why you looked so disappointed to see me.” Alice laughed, a knowing look on her face as she finally set her bag down beside her feet. “You two have been flirting .”


“No, no, we haven’t.” Sirius objected quickly, feeling his face grow suddenly very warm. “We’ve just been chatting.”


“Sure.” Alice smirked, watching Sirius’s ears go pink. “He’s very cute, you know…”


“Aren’t you supposed to be teaching me about Chemistry?”


“Fine, fine.” Alice grinned, pleased with herself, “Now tell me what you already know.”

Chapter Text

Sirius is bold

Remus is italics

Alice is underlined

Lily is italic and underlined




Friday. September 23rd 8:42 p.m.


Alice was nice… A warning would’ve been appreciated. How’s your mum?

Sent at 8:42 p.m.




Saturday. September 24th 7:02 a.m.


I’m really, really sorry.

Sent at 7:02 a.m.


I meant to text you, I just forgot. I’m sorry.

Sent at 7:02 a.m.


How’d you know about my mum?

Sent at 7:03 a.m.


You’re up early.

Sent at 7:06 a.m.


It’s fine. And Alice told me.

Sent at 7:07 a.m.


She did?

Sent at 7:08 a.m.


What did she say?

Sent at 7:08 a.m.


That your mum fell and you had to find someone to care for her.

Sent at 7:09 a.m.



Sent at 7:11 a.m.


Yeah. It was really last minute. I thought I’d get a chance to let you know, but once I got home I was too busy.

Sent at 7:12 a.m.


It’s really fine. Alice was entertaining. Although I WAS hoping that you would find me so devastatingly handsome that there wouldn’t be much time for studying ;)

Sent at 7:15 a.m.


So you could fail another Chem test?

Sent at 7:17 a.m.


Words hurt, Lupin.

Sent at 7:18 a.m.



Sent at 7:19 a.m.


So, why are you awake this early?

Sent at 7:21 a.m.


I’m just cleaning up a bit. I go back to school tonight and the house is a mess.

Sent at 7:22 a.m.


How’s your mum? You found someone to help her out while you’re gone?

Sent at 7:23 a.m.


Yeah. Our neighbor’s going to come over and help her out. She won’t need much, though, she just broke her arm. She’s fine other than that.

Sent at 7:24 a.m.


That’s good. Are you two close?

Sent at 7:26 a.m.


It’s complicated, I guess.

Sent at 7:31 a.m.


More mysterious backstory?

Sent at 7:33 a.m.



Sent at 7:35 a.m.


That sounds like something someone with a mysterious backstory would say…

Sent at 7:36 a.m.


Now really isn’t a great time, Sirius. I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to tutor you last night. Just make sure you review what you and Alice went over so you can do well on your next test. I have to go.

Sent at 7:50 a.m.


I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.

Sent at 7:53 a.m.


There’s nothing to pry.

Sent at 7:57 a.m.


Alright. Well, text me when you get back to school.

Sent at 8:00 a.m.




Saturday. September 24th 8:21 p.m.


I’m back.

Sent at 8:21 p.m.



Sent at 8:24 p.m.


Um, hello?

Sent at 8:25 p.m.



Sent at 8:26 p.m.



Sent at 8:28 p.m.


You’re drunk.

Sent at 8:30 p.m.



Sent at 8:31 p.m.



Sent at 8:32 p.m.


Could you turn off caps lock maybe?

Sent at 8:34 p.m.


anyhingfor youxxxxxxxx

Sent at 8:35 p.m.


What did you drink?

Sent at 8:37 p.m.


ia think it twas vodka

Sent at 8:38 p.m.


Christ. You did ten shots of vodka in a row??

Sent at 8:39 p.m.


noooo. prongsie-doo was righty-roo. I kncked back 5 or mayb4. but i did ave a coupledrinks b4 that

Sent at 8:41 p.m.


Congrats, I’m proud.

Sent at 8:43 p.m.


awethanks babexxxxxx

Sent at 8:44 p.m.


Don’t you think you’re being a bit generous with the ‘x’s?

Sent at 8:45 p.m.


giving u loaaaddds of kisses xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sent at 8:46 p.m.



Sent at 8:47 p.m.



Sent at 8:47 p.m.



Sent at 8:47 p.m.



Sent at 8:47 p.m.


alice reckons imflirtingggg w/u. she told me yesterde

Sent at 8:48 p.m.


shesaid ur a cutie, moonpie

Sent at 8:50 p.m.



Sent at 8:51 p.m.


cause ur cuteas piexxxxxxxxx

Sent at 8:52 p.m.


sned me a    picxx

Sent at 8:53 p.m.


Are you really drunk texting me for a fucking dick pic?

Sent at 8:54 p.m.


noooooooooooo!!! xxxxxxxxxx

Sent at 8:55 p.m.


a pic ofur cutie-pie moony-pie face

Sent at 8:56 p.m.


I think I’ll pass xxx

Sent at 8:57 p.m.


Are you drinking water? Get some water.

Sent at 8:58 p.m.


awewe ur worriedbout mexxx

Sent at 8:59 p.m.


udo carexx

Sent at 9:00 p.m.


imgonna call u

Sent at 9:01 p.m.


*Incoming call from Sirius (9:01 p.m.)






“Christ, no need to shout straight into the speaker. You’re really hammered, aren’t you?”




“You’ve really got to lower your voice or I’m hanging up on you.”


“Please don’t leave me.”


“You don’t have to whisper.”


“You’re sending me really mixed signals Moony-pie-face.”


“Are you drinking water?”


“Of courseee , MUM !”


“Are you on your own? I don’t hear anyone in the background.”


“Noooo, ‘course not. Prongsie-dearest is right here--hang on. PRONGS!”


“Ouch! Sirius! Volume!”


“TERRIBLY SORRY! PRONGSIE DO’YA WANNA TALK TO MOONSTER? NO? OKAY I’LL TELL ‘IM YOUR BUSY! Hello, Moony-pie-ster. Prongs is terribly indisposted.”


“I think I may have actually gone deaf. And I believe you mean ‘indisposed’.”


“You’re so smart, Remmy-moon-poo.”


“You’re really into nicknames when you’re drunk, huh?”


“‘M always into nicky-names.”




“Hey Moon-dog?”




“I think I’m slightly intoximacated.”


“Go to sleep, Sirius.”


“Sing me a lullaby?”


“No. I’m hanging up. You’re going to bed.”


“You hurt my feelings sometimes, Moony-poo.”


“Goodnight, Sirius.”


Bonne nuit mon loup .”


*Call ended




Sunday. September 25th 8:02 a.m.


What does “mon loup” mean?

Sent at 8:02 a.m.


How come you only text me early when I’m really fucking hungover. I need to sleep.

Sent at 8:03 a.m.


Have you ever heard of karma?

Sent at 8:04 a.m.


Please don’t be cruel, Moons. I’m going to vomit. I’m too dizzy to look at my phone.

Sent at 8:05 a.m.


I told you to drink water, didn’t I? Now what does “mon loup” mean?

Sent at 8:06 a.m.


“My wolf”

Sent at 8:07 a.m.


Wait… What do you mean you “told me”?

Sent at 8:07 a.m.


Oh… I see the texts now… Did I really call you?

Sent at 8:08 a.m.


Yes and you bloody well screamed my ear off. Apparently you don’t have volume control when you’re ‘intoximacated’.

Sent at 8:08 a.m.


While I apologize for being potentially obnoxious, I refuse to apologize for “cutie-pie moony-pie” or the excessive amount of “kisses” I sent you. I’m really bloody hilarious, aren’t I?

Sent at 8:09 a.m.


Humble, too.

Sent at 8:10 a.m.


You love it xxx

Sent at 8:10 a.m.


Or should I say…

Sent at 8:11 a.m.



Sent at 8:11 a.m.


Normal people would typically be embarrassed about drunkenly asking for a dick pic from their tutor.

Sent at 8:12 a.m.


I was not asking for a dick pic, you wanker. Get your mind out of the gutter. Obviously I wanted to see your “cutie-pie moony-pie” face!

Sent at 8:14 a.m.


Also, I really wouldn’t call you my tutor. Doesn’t that involve… Idk… /Actually/ tutoring me?

Sent at 8:15 a.m.


Hmm… And who was it that bribed me to never /actually/ tutor you??

Sent at 8:16 a.m.


Who stood me up on our study-date??

Sent at 8:17 a.m.


I had a genuine excuse.

Sent at 8:18 a.m.


So did I. My reputation.

Sent at 8:19 a.m.


Are you truly comparing your reputation to the fact that my mother got into a car crash?

Sent at 8:20 a.m.


A car crash?

Sent at 8:22 a.m.


I thought she fell?

Sent at 8:22 a.m.




Sunday. September 25th 10:34 a.m.



Sent at 10:34 a.m.


I’m really just genuinely confused. What happened? Why would you hide the fact that she got into a crash?

Sent at 10:34 a.m.


I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not the most open person.

Sent at 10:35 a.m.


No!!! Really?!?

Sent at 10:36 a.m.


Not funny, Sirius, I’m /trying/ to be open now.

Sent at 10:37 a.m.


Right. Continue.

Sent at 10:38 a.m.


She didn’t fall.

Sent at 10:39 a.m.


I guess Alice just made that up for my sake… It’s not… It’s not something I like to talk about.

Sent at 10:40 a.m.


My mother, that is.

Sent at 10:40 a.m.


She crashed into a telephone pole and broke her arm in the accident.

Sent at 10:43 a.m.


So, why would you hide that?

Sent at 10:45 a.m.


She was drunk.

Sent at 10:52 a.m.



Sent at 10:55 a.m.



Sent at 10:58 a.m.


That’s why I forgot to text you about Alice. My mum’s a handful when she’s drunk and when I got there I could only focus on getting her to sober up and take her painkillers.

Sent at 11:06 a.m.


She was drunk when you got there? When was the crash?

Sent at 11:08 a.m.


Thursday night.

Sent at 11:10 a.m.


And she was still drunk in the morning? Or was she already drinking again?

Sent at 11:11 a.m.


I’m not used to opening up to people, Sirius, there’s only so much I can deal with at a time. Can we change the subject?

Sent at 11:15 a.m.


Of course. Can I just ask one last question?

Sent at 11:17 a.m.


No promises that I’ll answer, but sure.

Sent at 11:20 a.m.


Are you mad at me for drunk texting you, then? If you just spent the weekend dealing with your intoxicated mother, I’m sure you weren’t too thrilled about me being hammered.

Sent at 11:22 a.m.


What? Of course not.

Sent at 11:23 a.m.


You’re a funny drunk. I really didn’t mind. It was amusing.

Sent at 11:24 a.m.


So, you’re saying I cheered you up with my dazzling sense of humor? xxx

Sent at 11:25 a.m.


No, you cheered me up with your inability to text and your failed attempts to hit on me. xxx

Sent at 11:26 a.m.


Moony, you were so into it. Don’t deny it.

Sent at 11:28 a.m.


But, let’s address more pressing matters.

Sent at 11:30 a.m.


Oh? And what does that entail?

Sent at 11:31 a.m.


The fact that you are, apparently, a cutie-pie and refuse to send me photographic evidence. C’mon, Lupin, send over the adorable selfies. Alice said you have curly hair and that you wear sweaters. I need confirmation.

Sent at 11:34 a.m.


You just want to put a face to the star of your wet dreams, you dog.

Sent at 11:35 a.m.


Is that jab at my name, Moonster?

Sent at 11:36 a.m.


Not intentionally, but we’re going with it now. You need a nickname, too, if you’re going to refuse to call me by my actual name.

Sent at 11:37 a.m.


I’m intrigued. I expect a very good nickname, Moony, don’t disappoint.

Sent at 11:38 a.m.


I’ll try, give me a bit.

Sent at 11:40 a.m.


Creativity can’t be rushed.

Sent at 11:41 a.m.


You still haven’t sent me that pic, Moons.

Sent at 11:42 a.m.


And I won’t be. xxx

Sent at 11:44 am.


Fine, I’ll continue to picture a faceless, broody nerd :’(

Sent at 11:45 a.m.


That sounds mildly horrific.

Sent at 11:46 a.m.


You could change that very easily, babe xxx

Sent at 11:46 a.m.


Don’t call me babe. xxx

Sent at 11:48 a.m.



Sent at 11:50 a.m.




Sunday. September 25th 6:35 p.m.


Re… We just saw you walk into the Dining Hall and then walk right back out. We’re on your side, you don’t have to be afraid to talk to us.

Sent at 6:35 p.m.


Seriously, Remus. Please talk to us. How was she? Was she…?

Sent at 6:37 p.m.


Drinking? Of course.

Sent at 6:41 p.m.


When isn’t she?

Sent at 6:41 p.m.


You guys don’t have to worry. I’m fine.

Sent at 6:42 p.m.


Remus, we SAW you. We saw the bruise. Did she get violent? That’s not like her, is it?

Sent at 6:43 p.m.


Lily, I’m fine.

Sent at 6:44 p.m.


Remus, please.

Sent at 6:45 p.m.


It was a misunderstanding. She got confused. She didn’t mean to hit me and you’re right, it isn’t like her.

Sent at 6:47 p.m.


She was in a really bad state when I got there.

Sent at 6:48 p.m.


Apparently when the paramedics got to the crash, she was calling out for my dad.

Sent at 6:49 p.m.


She went out driving that night to look for him.

Sent at 6:49 p.m.


Oh, Remus…

Sent at 6:53 p.m.


Please don’t blame yourself, Remus, I know you think it’s your fault. It isn’t, you know deep down that it isn’t.

Sent at 6:54 p.m.


Yes, I’m fine. That’s all I really want to talk about for now. Snag me some dinner, would you? I’m going out by the lake. I tell you that because you’re worried that I’m going to do something stupid, not because I want you to join me. Okay?

Sent at 6:56 p.m.


Sure, Remus, just come talk to us when you’re ready.

Sent at 6:58 p.m.


And don’t smoke, please.

Sent at 6:59 p.m.


Alice, chill out a bit, yeah? Don’t you think he deserves a chance to relax? Just don’t get caught, Remus.

Sent at 7:00 p.m.



Sent at 7:00 p.m.


I don’t approve.

Sent at 7:02 p.m.




Sunday. September 25th 9:03 p.m.


Good evening, Moonbeam xxx

Sent at 9:03 p.m.


Hey, Dog-Star.

Sent at 9:04 p.m.


Ah, wonderful, you responded. So, you aren’t dead in a ditch? (You can do better than “Dog-Star”)

Sent at 9:05 p.m.


Hmm… not that I can tell.

Sent at 9:08 p.m.


Why, exactly, would I be?

Sent at 9:08 p.m.


Alice feared you were. Perhaps you should try responding to her texts.

Sent at 9:09 p.m.


You and Alice text now?

Sent at 9:12 p.m.


Yes, we became quite close in those two hours of studying Chemistry. For example, I now have her phone number and I know she’s madly in love with a bloke from your school. We’re besties.

Sent at 9:13 p.m.



Sent at 9:14 p.m.


Are you jealous? xxx

Sent at 9:14 p.m.


Oh totally. Be careful with her, though. She’ll go through any means necessary to contact you if you don’t immediately reply to her texts.

Sent at 9:16 p.m.


To be fair, Alice did say it’s past curfew and you claimed you’d return at 8:30. What’re you doing?

Sent at 9:17 p.m.


Oh, Alice didn’t tell you that? I’m terribly surprised. She’s shared enough of my personal life with you, why not what I do to relax? She already disapproves of it, why not get more people to lecture me?

Sent at 9:18 p.m.


Alice said you’d take out your anger by complaining about her.

Sent at 9:20 p.m.


That’s another infuriating part of Alice, she’s always right.

Sent at 9:21 p.m.


So, what are you doing that Alice so terribly disapproves of?

Sent at 9:23 p.m.



Sent at 9:24 p.m.



Sent at 9:25 p.m.



Sent at 9:28 p.m.


Oooo, Moony, I didn't peg you as a stoner.

Sent at 9:29 p.m.


I’m not a stoner. I just use it to relax occasionally. It is medicinal, you know?

Sent at 9:31 p.m.


Oh, yeah? You got a prescription for it?

Sent at 9:32 p.m.


Fuck off.

Sent at 9:32 p.m.


Well?? Do you??

Sent at 9:34 p.m.



Sent at 9:37 p.m.


That’s very illegal, Moonbeam xxx

Sent at 9:38 p.m.


So is underage drinking, prat. xxx

Sent at 9:38 p.m.


For someone whose high, you don’t seem very relaxed

Sent at 9:40 p.m.


Insulting people is how I relax.

Sent at 9:41 p.m.


You truly are lovely

Sent at 9:42 p.m.


Thanks, pup.

Sent at 9:43 p.m.


Woof ;)

Sent at 9:43 p.m.


Alright, not ‘pup’, then.

Sent at 9:44 p.m.


It was weak and you know it.

Sent at 9:45 p.m.


Hey Moons?

Sent at 9:46 p.m.



Sent at 9:46 p.m.


Clearly something is wrong. Alice wouldn’t have texted me if you were fine. Do you want to talk about it? I know we barely know each other, but maybe that’ll make it easier? You can call me if you want? Or text.

Sent at 9:48 p.m.


You don’t have to, it was just a suggestion of course.

Sent at 9:54 p.m.


*Incoming call from Remus (10:00 p.m.)


“I didn’t think you were actually going to call.”


“Oh. I thought… Sorry, I can hang up.”


“No! I’m glad you did, I’m just surprised.”




“You can’t blame me. With you being all broody and mysterious and all.”


“Of course not.”


“So… Are you alright? Do you want to talk about it?”


“I… Uh, I don’t really know why I actually called. I don’t want to talk about it. I guess I just… Didn’t want to be… I don’t know.”


“I get it, Moonbeam. We can just chat. It’s much nicer talking to you when I can hear your voice. It’s quite sexy, you know?”


“Wha… What?”


“Have I made you flustered? That’s my goal. You have this nice, rough but soft kind of sound going… I don’t know how to describe it but it’s relaxing and a bit arousing.”


“You’re an idiot.”


“Aw, babe, you love it.”


“Don’t call me ‘babe’.”


“Are you sniffling?”




“Were you crying before you called?”




“You’re a bad liar.”


“Sirius… I should go. I have to go.”


“Moony, please don’t push me away just because I’ve found out something personal about you. Try sharing one thing with me right now. We’ll do that game again. You share something, I share something.”


“I don’t know…”


“Just try opening up to me. Just one thing. Okay?”


“Okay… What do I tell you?”


“Whatever you feel comfortable with.”


“I don’t know what I want to tell you.”


“Just anything. Whatever you want. It can be something small, if you want. Just something to practice opening up to people. It can even be the fact that you pissed your pants when you were eight or something. Really just tell me any-”


“-My mum’s an alcoholic.”




“Yeah. Your turn.”


“My family disowned me.”


“Oh my god. That’s… That’s really terrible. Are you okay? When did that happen?”


“Baby steps, Moony. It’s your turn.”


“Alright… My dad left us when I was ten.”


“I’m sorry, Moons.”


“Your turn.”


“They caught me kissing the pool boy two summers ago. They lost their minds, roughed me up a bit, and told me to never return. So I’ve lived with Prongs ever since.”


“I’m really sorry… That’s why you have the nightmares?”




“What were they like before that?”


“Just as bad. It’s good that I had a chance to leave.”


“It’s still terrible.”


“I suppose.”


“It is, Sirius… Oh, it’s really late, isn’t it? I should head back to my dorm now, Alice might have a heart attack if I don’t return soon. Uh… Thanks for… Just, thanks.”


“You have nothing to thank me for, Moonbeam. Have a safe trip back to your room, don’t get caught by a professor. I can only imagine that red-eyes and the smell of weed would be a dead giveaway about your illegal pass-times.”


“I’m serious. Thank you.”


“You’re not Sirius, I am… And it’s really no problem, Moons. Thanks for trusting me.”


“Yeah… Well… Goodnight.”


“Sleep well, Moonbeam.”


*Call ended



Monday. September 26th 10:23 a.m.


Care to explain why Alice seems to think we’re dating?

Sent at 10:23 a.m.


Ah… Perhaps she doesn’t understand my sarcasm like you do, Moonshine.

Sent at 10:24 a.m.


I may have mentioned that you confessed your undying love to me last night and we made plans to elope. But really, she must know I’m teasing. About the eloping part, that is. I like the idea of you admitting that you’re truly, madly, deeply in love with me ;)

Sent at 10:25 a.m.


Tell her you were kidding. She doesn’t believe me.

Sent at 10:25 a.m.


Oh, you’re such a prat. Alice just showed me the messages.

Sent at 10:26 a.m.


“We shared some intimate moments.”? “Remus was hesitant at first, but he admitted he had feelings for me”?? “We’re going to start a new life together. Remus Moony Black.”???

Sent at 10:27 a.m.


Also, I wouldn’t take your last name.

Sent at 10:27 a.m.


“Sirius Lupin”, then?

Sent at 10:28 a.m.


You enjoy being a handful, don’t you?

Sent at 10:29 a.m.


You know me too well, love xxx

Sent at 10:31 a.m.


Stooooppp, Alice keeps reading my messages over my shoulder. She really believes there’s something going on between us, dick.

Sent at 10:31 a.m.


Awe, but we do have something going on between us. It’s love, Moony. Let is manifest in our hearts.

Sent at 10:32 a.m.


Let it what??

Sent at 10:33 a.m.


This is my emotional manifest to love

Sent at 10:34 a.m.


Unveiled love, like the mystery of dark

Sent at 10:34 a.m.


Dare to be myself, uproot feelings, shy

Sent at 10:34 a.m.


Venus is ecstatic, something inside dies

Sent at 10:35 a.m.


I want to be burnt and raise as phoenix tried

Sent at 10:35 a.m.


Are you reciting a poem?

Sent at 10:36 a.m.


Precisely xxx Manifest to Love by Marika Kartozia.

Sent at 10:37 a.m.


I’m in Poetry class right now, we’re analyzing this poem. I’m feeling quite romantic. You’re lucky to be on the receiving end, love xxx

Sent at 10:38 a.m.


You’re literally impossible.

Sent at 10:39 a.m.


You love it<3

Sent at 10:41 a.m.


No, I don’t.<3

Sent at 10:43 a.m.




Monday. September 26th 11:14 a.m.


This moon, suspended in charcoal heavens upon a beaded blanket of perfect pearls, beckons our dreams in simultaneous fashion

Sent at 11:14 a.m.

Does your heart share this moon tonight, with me?

Sent at 11:14 a.m.


You didn’t write that, did you?

Sent at 11:15 a.m.


No, but I /could/ write you a poem if that’s what it takes to ‘woo’ you.

Sent at 11:16 a.m.


No thanks xxx

Sent at 11:17 a.m.


My heart is now in so much pain, my tears are falling like pouring rain. I can no longer sleep a full night, I can no longer fight. We broke each other's hearts. We were torn apart. We are no longer together. What happened to forever?

Sent at 11:18 a.m.



Sent at 11:19 a.m.


I knew you thought so ;)

Sent at 11:20 a.m.




Tuesday. September 27th 1:25 p.m.


My next test is tomorrow. I have decided that ‘wooing’ you means doing well in Chem, so I’m going to ace this next test ;)

Sent at 1:25 p.m.


That’s better than all the poetry in the world.

Sent at 1:27 p.m.


Wow, is this the equivalent of talking dirty for a nerd like yourself? xxx

Sent at 1:28 p.m.


Because, in that case. I’m going to study SO /hard/ ;)

Sent at 1:29 p.m.


You’re so gross.

Sent at 1:31 p.m.


You’re just embarrassed that I found out what YOUR wet dreams consist of xxx

Sent at 1:32 p.m.


Oh yeah, you totally got me. I get hard at the idea of taking a test. Definitely.

Sent at 1:33 p.m.


Wowie, Moony, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?

Sent at 1:33 p.m.


Leave me be, I’m in class. Just make sure you study.

Sent at 1:34 p.m.


Sure, babe. Want a pic of me reading this textbook? ;)

Sent at 1:34 p.m.



Sent at 1:35 p.m.




Wednesday. September 28th 4:02 p.m.


Did you hear? Aren’t you proud of me?

Sent at 4:02 p.m.


While it’s better than a 30%, 70% still isn’t exactly something to celebrate.

Sent at 4:05 p.m.


But it is an improvement, congrats.

Sent at 4:06 p.m.


C’monnnnn, I did well and you know it. And, I didn’t even cheat

Sent at 4:08 p.m.


If you cheat, you’ll do better.

Sent at 4:09 p.m.


Stop intentionally hurting my feelings, Moony :(

Sent at 4:10 p.m.


What would you like me to say? I’m so incredibly impressed with your ability to answer a slightly-below-average amount of questions correctly?

Sent at 4:12 p.m.


You can also add in how horny it’s making you, if you’d like. I don’t mind xxx

Sent at 4:14 p.m.


How do you block a number on this phone?

Sent at 4:15 p.m.


You break my heart </3

Sent at 4:16 p.m.


Good. xx

Sent at 4:17 p.m.


Only two kisses? Moony, how could you be so cruel?

Sent at 4:18 p.m.



Sent at 4:18 p.m.



Sent at 4:18 p.m.


Maybe I’ll do even better once we actually meet in person. Still good for Friday?

Sent at 4:19 p.m.


As long as there isn’t another unexpected drunken crash anytime soon.

Sent at 4:21 p.m.


Oh, Moons…

Sent at 4:23 p.m.


I didn’t mean that in a sad way. It was supposed to be a joke. It wasn’t a very good one.

Sent at 4:25 p.m.


Aw, Moony, you’re TRYING!

Sent at 4:27 p.m.


Humor doesn’t come easily to some, it’s okay xxx

Sent at 4:28 p.m.


You’ll never be as hilariously talented as I am. It’s time to accept the fact and move on.

Sent at 4:28 p.m.


Fuck off.

Sent at 4:29 p.m.



Sent at 4:31 p.m

Chapter Text

Sirius is bold

Remus is italic

James is regular text




Thursday. September 29th 2:43 p.m.


Tomorrow at Starbucks, yeah? 6?

Sent at 2:43 p.m.


Can’t wait, babe xxx

Sent at 2:46 p.m.


Just to be clear, we ARE going to be studying. Nothing else.

Sent at 2:47 p.m.


;) We’ll see

Sent at 2:48 p.m.


No. We will not. I need you to promise you’ll focus on the material tomorrow and not on your poor pick-up lines.

Sent at 2:50 p.m.


I promise that I will not INITIATE anything. However, if you change your mind, I will certainly not object xxx

Sent at 2:51 p.m.


Maybe I’ll send Alice again.

Sent at 2:51 p.m.


No, no, I’ll behave, I promise!

Sent at 2:52 p.m.


You’re so like a puppy, it’s almost startling. It’s like your parents knew exactly what you would be like when they named you “Dog-Star”.

Sent at 2:53 p.m.


If my parents knew what I’d be like when I was born they’d have gotten rid of me right then and there

Sent at 2:54 p.m.


Oh, shit, Sirius I didn’t mean to bring that up. I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.

Sent at 2:56 p.m.


Moony, you DO care xxx

Sent at 2:56 p.m.


I was taking a leaf from your book. I tried to make a joke from my depressively sad backstory.

Sent at 2:57 p.m.


I did it better than you.

Sent at 2:57 p.m.


Right… I’ll see you at 6 tomorrow, then.

Sent at 3:00 p.m.


Don’t bail on me this time xxx

Sent at 3:01 p.m.




Friday. September 30th 5:13 p.m.


Sirius, where the hell are you?

Sent at 5:13 p.m.


Please don’t do anything you’ll regret.

Sent at 5:13 p.m.


I know he gets under your skin, but it’s just Reg being a little dick. Please come back to the room.

Sent at 5:13 p.m.


I’ll get mum to call you right now if you don’t respond. Don’t underestimate me. I’m cruel, I play dirty, I’ll get her to lecture you. I swear. Don’t make me do such a cruel thing. C’mon. Respond, Pads.

Sent at 5:14 p.m.


hes nota dick.. Its not his fualt. its theres, theyruined im

Sent at 5:16 p.m.


Pads, where are you? You’re going to get caught drinking. Come to the room, you can drink here and talk about it w/ me.

Sent at 5:16 p.m.


m not drinking

Sent at 5:17 p.m.


You are the World’s Worst Drunk-Texter. You’re drinking. Come back. Please?

Sent at 5:18 p.m.



Sent at 5:19 p.m.




Friday. September 30th 5:37 p.m.


Hey, is this Remus?

Sent at 5:37 p.m.


Uh, yeah? Who’s this?

Sent at 5:38 p.m.


It’s James, I think Sirius said that he’s mentioned me before.

Sent at 5:40 p.m.



Sent at 5:41 p.m.


Um, hello I guess? Is he alright?

Sent at 5:41 p.m.


Yeah, yeah totally.

Sent at 5:42 p.m.


Uh, well. No.

Sent at 5:43 p.m.


He can’t make it today.

Sent at 5:43 p.m.


He’s ill.

Sent at 5:43 p.m.


Very, very ill.

Sent at 5:43 p.m.


But not THAT ill. He’s fine. Totally. He’ll be fine by morning.

Sent at 5:44 p.m.


Okay… But not THAT fine, either. He’s too sick to come to tutoring today. That’s all.

Sent at 5:44 p.m.


Hey, James?

Sent at 5:45 p.m.



Sent at 5:45 p.m.


Are you this weird all the time or are you hiding something?

Sent at 5:46 p.m.


Fuck, I hate lying. I’m so bad at it.

Sent at 5:47 p.m.


So, why is he actually bailing on me?

Sent at 5:47 p.m.


He’s not bailing. It’s not his fault. It’s just…

Sent at 5:48 p.m.



Sent at 5:49 p.m.


He’s drunk.

Sent at 5:50 p.m.



Sent at 5:51 p.m.


I’m sure he’ll feel horrible about it tomorrow. Do you want me to pass any messages along? He’s not in a great state right now.

Sent at 5:51 p.m.


No, it’s fine.

Sent at 5:52 p.m.


Are you mad at him now? Fuck, I shouldn’t have said.

Sent at 5:53 p.m.


Why would I possibly be mad at him? I’ll just get back on the train and head back to school.

Sent at 5:54 p.m.


Fuck. You’re there already?

Sent at 5:55 p.m.


We did have plans to meet.

Sent at 5:56 p.m.


I guess we’re even now.

Sent at 5:56 p.m.


Please don’t be mad at him. I can’t tell you why he did it, but I promise it has nothing to do with you. He gets stressed and upset sometimes and he’s not great at coping.

Sent at 5:57 p.m.


Yeah, of course. I’m not mad.

Sent at 5:58 p.m.


I hope he feels better. Tell him I’ll see him next week and to study for any upcoming tests.

Sent at 5:58 p.m.


Sure, Remus. Again, I’m sure he’s really sorry about it. He wasn’t thinking, I’m sure.

Sent at 5:59 p.m.


Yeah. My phone’s nearly dead, nice to talk to you, James.

6:02 p.m.


You too, Remus. Please don’t be mad at him.

Sent at 6:03 p.m.


Remus looked down at his phone as his conversation with James ended. It was nowhere near out of power. He frowned and tucked his phone back into his pocket and leaned back in his seat on the train, watching various buildings and trees shoot past as they zoomed along back to Hogwarts.


“Remus. Long time no see.”


An overwhelming amount of panic filled Remus’s chest as he heard the familiar voice. A dip in the cushioned train seats as someone sat behind him. A warm, all-too-familiar hand resting on his knee. To anyone looking on, it would appear to be a friendly gesture. A gentle greeting. To Remus, it made his blood feel like ice.


Immediately he felt like a cornered animal, he had no escape. He was blocking his only escape. Breathing became a difficult task and Remus focused on not letting his chest heave. He could not show how frightened he was. He couldn’t. He dug his fingernails into his palms -- something he hadn’t done since the previous school year.


“I’ve missed you. Although, you do owe me an apology. Your friend got me into a lot of trouble. I was suspended for three months after they caught me with your weed that she planted on me.” His voice was quiet. Just as it always had been.


Remus’s knuckles were white. He couldn’t look up. He couldn’t look at him.


“What’s wrong, baby?”


Remus squeezed his eyes shut, still facing the window. The old nickname made his whole body tremble.


‘Relax baby.’ ‘Stop making so much noise, baby, we’ll get caught’ ‘SHUT UP! Christ. Sorry, but really. Keep it down, baby.’ ‘Hey, baby, c’mon. We need to get back. Stop crying. Stand up, will you? Christ, do I have to do everything for you? Come here !’


The hand on Remus’s knee slid up towards his thigh and Remus felt weak again. Defenseless. Helpless. Terrified.


“C’mon, look at me. I’ve missed you, Remus.”




Remus’s head snapped up in an instant at the sound of someone else’s voice. Someone who could help him. Someone who could put this whole thing on pause. He wouldn’t keep this act up with someone else present. Sure enough, the hand on his leg pulled back nearly instantly.


A chubby boy who sat in front of Remus was now on his knees, facing them, an awkward smile on his face.


“You’re Remus?”


“Uh… Yes.” Remus breathed, still not confident enough to talk loudly with him present.


The Remus?”


“I’m not sure what you mean.” God , Remus hated how weak he sounded. He sounded pathetic.

“I’m Peter.” The boy, Peter, explained as if that was enough to rid Remus of his confusion. Remus’s eyebrows knitted together. “Wormtail.”


For a moment, Remus forgot who was beside him and his eyes lit up.


“Sirius’s friend!”


“Sirius? Who’s Sirius?”


Remus seemed to shrink again at his voice. Peter looked between the two of them with confusion.


“An idiot that Remus is being forced to tutor.”


“And what, exactly, does “ The Remus” mean?” He asked, his voice low, nearly a growl. Remus grimaced. He was quick to get jealous. He always was.


“Remus is a funny bloke that absolutely despises Sirius. Sirius hates him right back. It’s fun to watch them bicker.” Remus’s eyes flashed to Peter’s in confusion. Peter looked at him rather seriously. “Say, Remus, do you know Frank Longbottom?”


“Um, yes.” Remus was utterly bewildered.


“Do you mind bringing me to him once we get off the train? I’m supposed to meet him in the library, but I have no idea where that is. Hogwarts is confusing.”


Remus felt a rush at the words. An opportunity to immediately get away from him ? Of course he would take it. “Sure.”


Peter grinned, then turned to look at him . “I’m Peter Pettigrew, by the way. And you are?”


“Amos Diggory.” He said with his usual care-free, confident tone. Remus felt like he was shrinking again.


The train slowed to stop and Amos stood up, frowning at Remus, who did not look at him.


“I guess I’ll see you later, then?”


Remus didn’t respond. Instead, his whole body shuddered and he stepped past his ex and ushered Peter quickly off the train.


“Why did you lie?” Remus asked once they were off the train and had put a decent amount of distance between them and Amos. “About me and Sirius?”


“You seemed really uncomfortable around him. And he seemed really unhappy with the fact that I knew you through another bloke. I felt like mentioning that you and Sirius flirt incessantly wouldn’t be a great move.”


“We do not flirt incessantly.” Remus objected quickly, feeling a strong rush of gratitude towards Peter course through him.


“But you’re not denying the fact that you do flirt?”


He flirts.”


Peter snorted. “Yeah, that’s like him.”


“So, the library is up this way.” Remus filled the awkward silence, leading them into the castle-like school.


“I know where the library is.”


“But you…?”


“Like I said, you seemed uncomfortable around that Diggory bloke.” Remus winced at the name. Peter didn’t seem to notice. “Who is he anyway?”


“My ex.” Remus nearly whispered.


“Bad breakup?”


Panic gripped his chest again. He simply nodded, blinking fast.


“You shouldn’t have to be afraid of him. Tell someone if he’s bothering you, yeah? Or pick up your phone and pretend you’re talking to someone when he comes over. Don’t let him scare you into silence.”


Remus’s nails dug into the flesh of his palms once again.


“Thanks, Peter.”


“It’s no problem. I’ll see you around sometime.” Peter and Remus smiled at each other. Peter turned to leave, then he stopped and turned back. “Hey, wait. I thought you were supposed to meet Sirius tonight?”


Remus shoved his hands in his pockets, rolling his phone around in his fingers.


“He got drunk. James texted me and said he couldn’t make it.”


“Drunk?” Peter looked quizzical. He pulled out his phone and looked down at it. His eyebrows rose. “ Oh .”


Peter scrolled through what was apparently an insane amount of texts before he looked back up at Remus.


“I actually have to go back to St. Godrics. Uh, James is worried that you’re mad at Sirius for bailing last minute. Listen… He… He drinks for two reasons. One is to have fun, the other is to forget. His brother… He goes to our school and he and Sirius really, really don’t get along. I’m not sure how much he’s told you-”


“He mentioned he was disowned. He said he hates his brother.”


Peter nodded quickly and seemed to think hard for a moment. “He doesn’t. He says he does, but he doesn’t. He loves his brother, but his brother… His brother doesn’t seem to love him back… They… They have major differences and it can get explosive if they’re near each other for too long. Apparently they had a fight tonight before dinner. That’s why Sirius got himself drunk. To forget Regulus. Not to forget you. Don’t take it personally. I really have to go. Have a nice night, Remus.”


And with that, he was gone, leaving Remus to feel a bit like he had whip-lash and more than a bit confused. With his brows pushed together in concentration, he walked forward towards the Dining Hall, trying to piece together what Peter had just said.


Remus sat down next to a surprised looking Alice and across from Lily.


“No Sirius?”


“Not today. He’s ill.” Remus lied easily, filling up his plate quickly. “I ran into Amos.”


Alice and Lily both looked up quickly, but they had completely different expressions on their face. Alice looked hopeful. She was blissfully unaware of what had actually gone down in their relationship. To her, it looked perfect and happy and normal. Everything Amos strived for.


Lily looked terrified as she searched Remus’s face for any signs of hurt. Anything she had seen last year on that night. Lily knew. Remus had to tell someone. Lily knew.


“How… How’d it go?” Lily choked out, glancing at Alice. She wished so badly she could kick her for smiling. She didn’t know, but it still infuriated Lily.


Remus looked at her. They both didn’t speak for a moment before Remus looked back down at his plate.


“As well as it could have.” Remus stated, “And no, Alice, we’re not getting back together.”

Chapter Text

Sirius is bold.

Remus is italic.




Saturday. October 1st 2:21 a.m.


Fuck, fuck, fuck. I’m sorry, Remus.

Sent at 2:21 a.m.


It’s alright, go to sleep.

Sent at 2:24 a.m.


I’ve been asleep for hours. I think I passed out around seven last night. Remus, I’m truly sorry. Really, I am.

Sent at 2:25 a.m.


Fuck, you must think I’m such a dick. You told me your mum had an alcohol problem and I stood you up because I got drunk.

Sent at 2:25 a.m.


Yeah, that stung a bit.

Sent at 2:26 a.m.


I’m so, so sorry, Remus. Really. What can I do to apologize?

Sent at 2:27 a.m.


You don’t have to apologize, I’m really okay. I was a bit pissed earlier, now I’m not. Go back to sleep.

Sent at 2:27 a.m.


You have every right to continue being pissed at me. I’d be pissed if I were you

Sent at 2:28 a.m.


Just thank Peter.

Sent at 2:28 a.m.


Wormy? What? How did you even know his real name?

Sent at 2:29 a.m.


I met him last night. We just happened to cross paths.

Sent at 2:30 a.m.


You met? When? How? What did he say that made you so calm? Pete’s not exactly a smooth-talker.

Sent at 2:31 a.m.


Give him more credit. He seems like a good guy.

Sent at 2:32 a.m.


We met on the train to my school from Hogsmeade. He mentioned your brother. He didn’t say much, he just explained that you coped poorly in stressful situations. I can’t judge, can I? I cope poorly, too. We just use different illegal substances apparently.

Sent at 2:34 a.m.


Two birds of a feather.

Sent at 2:35 a.m.


You’re sure you aren’t mad?

Sent at 2:35 a.m.


You’re allowed to be mad at me. I owe you, at least.

Sent at 2:35 a.m.


You can make it up to me at some point, but no, I’m not mad.

Sent at 2:36 a.m.


Now go back to sleep.

Sent at 2:36 a.m.


Yeah, alright.

Sent at 2:37 a.m.


Why are you up, by the way?

Sent at 2:37 a.m.


I’m not tired. I go to bed late, typically. How else do you think I manage to sleep through half of the day?

Sent at 2:38 a.m.


That’s true, I hadn’t thought about it. Get to sleep soon, it’s good for you, ya know?

Sent at 2:38 a.m.



Sent at 2:39 a.m.


Hey, sarcasm at two in the morning is not appreciated.

Sent at 2:41 a.m.



Sent at 2:41 a.m.


Oh, wait. Sirius.

Sent at 2:42 a.m.



Sent at 2:43 a.m.


Peter might mention the boy I was with. No, actually, I’m sure he’ll mention him. He met my ex.

Sent at 2:44 a.m.



Sent at 2:45 a.m.


I just… I need you to know that I’m not ready to talk about him. I know you’re into getting me to open up, but please don’t ask about him. Okay?

Sent at 2:49 a.m.


Sure, of course.

Sent at 2:50 a.m.


I’m not trying to pressure you into sharing. I just thought it might help you out a bit. I can stop being so invasive, sorry.

Sent at 2:51 a.m.


No. I don’t mind it, actually. I just… Not him, alright?

Sent at 2:54 a.m.



Sent at 2:55 a.m.


Okay. Now get some sleep.

Sent at 2:58 a.m.


You, too, Moonshine xxx

Sent at 2:59 a.m.



Sent at 3:00 a.m.



Saturday. October 1st 8:05 a.m.


Happy October, by the way xxx

Sent at 8:05 a.m.


I was gracious when you texted me at 2 a.m.

Sent at 8:06 a.m.


I will not be gracious now that you’ve texted me at 8 a.m.

Sent at 8:06 a.m.


Fuck off and let me sleep.

Sent at 8:06 a.m.


This is why you should get to sleep earlier xxx

Sent at 8:07 a.m.


Don’t make me un-forgive you.

Sent at 8:08 a.m.


It doesn’t work like that. No take-backs.

Sent at 8:08 a.m.


Are you actually twelve?

Sent at 8:09 a.m.


Now you’re just TRYING to hurt my feelings

Sent at 8:10 a.m.



Sent at 8:11 a.m.




Saturday. October 1st 11:42 a.m.


This is an appropriate time to be awake on a Saturday, just by the way.

Sent at 11:42 a.m.


Where’s the fun in waiting until you’re awake? Aren’t you happy to always wake up to good-morning texts??

Sent at 11:52 a.m.


Not when they’re what’s waking me up. xxx

Sent at 11:54 a.m.


You know, you send me a lot of kisses for someone who so strongly pretends to NOT be flirting right back xxx

Sent at 11:56 a.m.


I do /not/ send a lot of kisses. xxx

Sent at 11:56 a.m.


Oh but you /do/ xxx

Sent at 11:58 a.m.


I can’t imagine what would make you think something like that. xxx

Sent at 11:59 a.m.


Careful, Moonbeam, someone may see this conversation and think we’re /really/ into each other xxx

Sent at 12:00 p.m.


Hmm, yeah, your friends already seem to think that.

Sent at 12:01 p.m.



Sent at 12:02 p.m.


James was very afraid that I’d be cross or upset with you last night. He was far too worried over whether or not his friends /tutor/ would be angry. Maybe he’s a very considerate friend, but…

Sent at 12:03 p.m.


Peter did greet me by asking if I was “THE Remus” and made it very, very clear that you would be upset if I was mad at you. So… What exactly have you been saying about me to your friends?

Sent at 12:03 p.m.


Well, Alice thinks we’re eloping.

Sent at 12:04 p.m.


Because of what YOU said to her. Admit it, Sirius, you’re crushing on me. xxx

Sent at 12:05 p.m.


Hmm… I think you’re a little full of yourself.

Sent at 12:05 p.m.


Sure ;)

Sent at 12:05 p.m.


Besides, I think that you’re the one who’s into me.

Sent at 12:06 p.m.


Who could blame you, though? I’m irresistable.

Sent at 12:06 p.m.


And still ever-so-humble.

Sent at 12:07 p.m.


Oh, stuff it, Lupin. You just tried to prove that I have feelings for you. Which one of us is really full of themselves?

Sent at 12:08 p.m.


I guess we balance each other out.

Sent at 12:08 p.m.


Do you not talk about me with your friends?

Sent at 12:10 p.m.


You continue to act exactly like a puppy. Yes, I do, don’t get all offended. Lily seems surprised by you. Claims you’re a bit of prick in real life.

Sent at 12:11 p.m.


You’re a bit of a prick over text

Sent at 12:11 p.m.


I agree completely. I am a prick, but you love it.

Sent at 12:12 p.m.



Sent at 12:13 p.m.


Do you promise that we’ll actually meet each other next week?

Sent at 12:13 p.m.


Of course, but I think we might be jinxing ourselves.

Sent at 12:14 p.m.


Then, do you promise to never meet me?

Sent at 12:14 p.m.


That’s probably worse luck.

Sent at 12:15 p.m.


We’ll see each other on Friday. I promise.

Sent at 12:15 p.m.


Good, I need to put a face to the annoying morning texts.

Sent at 12:16 p.m.


Prick xxx

Sent at 12:17 p.m.




Saturday. October 1st 4:13 p.m.


Do you want to talk about what happened last night?

Sent at 4:13 p.m.



Sent at 4:15 p.m.


Your brother.

Sent at 4:16 p.m.



Sent at 4:16 p.m.


You don’t have to.

Sent at 4:19 p.m.


It’s just I thought maybe it would help.

Sent at 4:20 p.m.


I want to.

Sent at 4:20 p.m.


It’s just…

Sent at 4:21 p.m.


Are you busy right now?

Sent at 4:21 p.m.


No, why?

Sent at 4:23 p.m.


Incoming call from Sirius (4:23 p.m.)




“Hi, sorry, it’s just easier to explain it like this. It would be too hard over text.”


“That’s fine. So, what happened?”


“He just… He knows how to get under my skin. My family is really, really old-fashioned. They’re ignorant and homophobic and intolerant. They hold racists and sexist ideals and they’re just… Not who I want to be. And Reg knows that. Reg is my brother. Regulus. He could be so much better than them. He thinks that our parents are perfect, despite the fact that they… That they would always take their anger out on us. And I left him alone with them, and I don’t think I’ll ever get over that. But, Regulus is always coming up to taunt me. He tells me I’m just like them… My parents, that is. He says Prongs and Wormy are going to see past my disguise and leave me and then I’ll be all alone. And I know it’s not true, but imagine having your own brother, your little brother, tell you that. It’s… Sorry… That was a lot at once.”


“Really, don’t apologize. You already know that James and Peter won’t actually leave you, so I won’t go on about that, but if they do happen to leave you, you’ll always have me.”


“Ha, thanks Moony.”


“What do you say to him when he’s saying that stuff?”


“I.. Uh… I… I just don’t act rationally around him.”


“How so?”


“I let him get me angry so easily. If he says something I’m immediately ready for him or one of his friends to come fight me. I yell and I just… I turn into a bad person. I turn into my parents.”


“From what I know about you and from what you’ve said about your parents, I don’t think you’re capable of acting like them. Can you ignore him? Or maybe tell him how you actually feel?”


“I can’t. He gets under my skin so fast. I’m not… I can’t help it. I don’t know how to calm myself down before I snap and yell at him.”


“What if you avoided him?”


“It’s not that easy, I see him all the time between classes and just throughout school in general.”


“Can you walk away when he tries to start things?”


“I guess, but what would I do then? I’ve started to get angry just from the sight of him and the only way I know to get it out is by shouting at him.”


“Or drinking.”


“Not funny, Moonbeam.”


“Just call me.”


“Uh… we’re literally on the phone right now…?”


“I didn’t mean right now, you prat. When you get angry with your brother call me and we can talk.”


“You don’t mean that, it’ll get so annoying.”


“Of course I do. It’s healthier than bottling it up or screaming at your brother, isn’t it?”


“I… Yeah, I guess… I don’t want to bother you with it, though. I can talk to Prongs instead if you want.”


“I don’t mind, Sirius, but whatever you want to do is fine. Just walk away from your brother and call me or James. Yeah?”


“Sure… Thanks, Moony.”


“No problem.”


“I should go. I’ll text you later, okay?”


“Sure. Hey, Sirius?”




“You’re nothing like your parents.”


“Thanks, Moons.”


*Call ended




Saturday. October 1st 9:13 p.m.


Do you miss your dad?

Sent at 9:13 p.m.


Hello to you, too.

Sent at 9:16 p.m.


Sorry, you don’t have to answer.

Sent at 9:17 p.m.


I will. But first, what brought that up?

Sent at 9:17 p.m.



Sent at 9:18 p.m.


Prongs wants to know if I miss my absentee father? How very thoughtful of him.

Sent at 9:18 p.m.


No, you know that isn’t what I meant. Prongs was telling me I shouldn’t miss my parents. I was just wondering about you and your dad. I know you said your dad left you, and I thought maybe it was similar, but now I realize it was a dick-move to even bring him up. So, let’s forget about this completely. I’m sorry.

Sent at 9:21 p.m.


I miss him.

Sent at 9:22 p.m.



Sent at 9:23 p.m.


I miss my parents, too. Only sometimes, but I do.

Sent at 9:23 p.m.


If you don’t mind talking about him, what was he like? Your dad?

Sent at 9:24 p.m.


I’m not really too sure. I haven’t seen him in seven years.

Sent at 9:25 p.m.


He wasn’t home much. He went to work early and came back late. Some days I wouldn’t see him at all.

Sent at 9:26 p.m.


But he was alright.

Sent at 9:26 p.m.


He taught me how to throw a ball, work a car, mow the lawn. The stereotypical “dad-stuff”. He was pretty old-fashioned. He wouldn’t have been thrilled to find out that I turned out to be gay.

Sent at 9:27 p.m.


But then he was gone and I had to explain to my friends why I suddenly only had a mum.

Sent at 9:27 p.m.


I think I miss the idea of him. Not him specifically. Besides, he left, he clearly doesn’t miss us.

Sent at 9:27 p.m.


Why did he leave?

Sent at 9:28 p.m.


It’s not your turn. Why do you miss your parents?

Sent at 9:29 p.m.


I don’t. It’s just… Sometimes I think things might have worked out better if they never found out about me being gay. They’ve written me out of the will when I was in line to inherit so much money from them and I depend a lot on the Potters now and I feel like a burden. And maybe if I was with them Reg and I would still be okay.

Sent at 9:30 p.m.


Would you be happier that way?

Sent at 9:31 p.m.


Absolutely not.

Sent at 9:31 p.m.


Would Reg be any different?

Sent at 9:32 p.m.



Sent at 9:33 p.m.


Would the money make up for pretending to be someone you aren’t?

Sent at 9:33 p.m.


No. I see what you’re doing. I get it, I just can’t help thinking about what could have been if things were different.

Sent at 9:34 p.m.


I know, but I think you made the right choice. You’re only thinking of the good things that could have happened, not the bad. Past events can influence our behaviors and ways of thinking, so once things are shuffled around, it’s hard to adjust.

Sent at 9:34 p.m.


Very profound, Moonbeam

Sent at 9:35 p.m.


Thanks, I’m currently studying Psychotherapy for class. I may or may not be copying sentences straight out of my textbook.

Sent at 9:36 p.m.


And here I thought you cared xxx

Sent at 9:36 p.m.


I do care, but I suck at giving advice. xxx

Sent at 9:37 p.m.


I’m glad you were assigned to be my tutor, Moonshine, now there’s one thing I have to be thankful to Sluggy for.

Sent at 9:37 p.m.


Oh you’re totally crushing on me.

Sent at 9:38 p.m.


I’m TRYING to be kind to you, Moonshine.

Sent at 9:38 p.m.


I think you’re trying to get in my pants.

Sent at 9:39 p.m.


You’d willingly drop them the moment you see me in real life ;)

Sent at 9:40 p.m.


You’re literally disgusting.

Sent at 9:41 p.m.


You love it

Sent at 9:41 p.m.


Are you this cocky in real life? Or do you just have faux-confidence over text.

Sent at 9:42 p.m.


I suppose we’ll have to wait and see! Friday. 6 o’clock. We both solemnly swear to be there?

Sent at 9:43 p.m.


I solemnly swear.

Sent at 9:43 p.m.


Wonderful. Now, is it my turn to ask a question?

Sent at 9:44 p.m.


Yes, but not tonight. I’ve got to go help Lily work on an essay. Goodnight, Sirius.

Sent at 9:45 p.m.



Sent at 9:46 p.m.


Er… What?

Sent at 9:46 p.m.


Prongs and Wormy call me Padfoot. Apparently you suck at nicknames, so I’m giving you a break. You can call me Padfoot.

Sent at 9:47 p.m.


Do I want to know how any of you thought of these ridiculous names?

Sent at 9:49 p.m.


That’s a story for another night, Moony

Sent at 9:50 p.m.


Ha, alright. Goodnight, Padfoot.

Sent at 9:51 p.m.


Goodnight, Moony.

Sent at 9:52 p.m.


“Have you heard from your mum?” Lily questioned as Remus sat himself down next to her on the plush sofa in the back of the library. With so many exams coming up, the library was open through most of the night -- something that proved to be useful to Lily, Remus, and Alice who all dramatically procrastinated their assignments until late at night each day.


“No.” Remus placed two mugs of coffee on the table in front of them. They had a lot of work to do and, thus, needed the caffeine to survive it. “If I don’t hear from her then I know she’s fine.”


“What was she like when you were there last?”


Remus sighed and flipped open his history textbook, “Bad. Really bad. It was like she was completely in the past. Like she didn’t know dad left. She kept asking me where he was and when he’d come home. She missed him a lot.”


Lily gave an understanding nod before she decided to drop the subject. “How’s Sirius?”


Surprised by her suggestive tone, Remus turned to her and laughed, “He’s fine. Why?”


“I just think he’s been good for you.” Lily shrugged, a grin playing on her lips. “You seem happier now that you have him to talk to.”


“He’s amusing.” Remus shrugged, ignoring the way his cheeks warmed up, “He’s just entertaining to text.”


“Well you guys are going to meet Friday, right? For real this time?”




Lily grinned and watched Remus read before Remus rolled his eyes and shut the book and turned to her. “Alright, what is it?”


“You fancy him, don’t you?”


“I’ve never even seen him.”


“You’ve never been too caught up on appearances.” Lily pointed out and Remus shook his head.


“I have no idea what he’s like away from a phone. Weren’t you the one warning me that he was a douche just a few days ago?”


“That’s before I noticed the way you smile when your phone rings.” Lily smirked as Remus flushed and turned his attention back to the textbook on his lap, opening it up again. “You’re blushing, Remus!”


“I’m not.” Remus objected with a huff, “It’s just warm in here.”


“Oh, c’mon, he’s into you, too. Alice told me how he blushed when she brought you up when they met.”


“He was probably just embarrassed.” Remus shrugged, busying himself by taking a sip of his coffee. His face twisted at the taste, it was far too bitter. “Don’t you have an entire essay to write?”


“Yes, and you have an entire essay to help me write.” Lily was gracious enough to not poke fun at how red Remus’s face still was.



Remus had his backpack slung over one shoulder as he made his way back to his room. He was absolutely exhausted. It had to be past midnight by now, and sleep was blurring his vision.


“Hey, baby.”


He was suddenly very alert. Remus felt panic well up in his chest. He picked up his pace, but he very quickly found himself being pushed against a wall. His breath hitched and he looked up to see cold brown eyes staring back at him.


“I have to get to my room.” Remus managed to whisper, pushing at Amos’s arms, trying to get himself free. “Let me go.”


“What’s the rush?” Amos smirked. He leaned down to press his lips against Remus’s. Remus’s face twisted up in disgust as he desperately tried to fight him off. His hands were on his belt and his lips dipped down to his neck as Remus protested and pushed away.


“Stop.” Remus gasped, jerking his body away as he felt his belt slide away, “Stop!” His button was being undone. “STOP!”


Remus gasped and flew up into a sitting position on his bed, sweat rolling down the back of his neck.


It was just a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream.


His breathing was heavy and uneven as he shakily stood from his bed and rummaged clumsily through his nightstand. He grabbed a small, silver box and made his way towards the window before he paused, thought for a moment, and grabbed his phone.


There was a rather large ledge right outside of Remus’s window. It was the perfect size to sit on without the fear of falling. He climbed out his window with a bit of a struggle, thanks to his lanky legs, and looked at the two items in his hands.


He opted to open the small box first. With skilled movements, Remus was rolling up a sheet with small green clumps in it. He placed it between his lips and lit his lighter, before unlocking his phone and dialing a number without thinking.


*Outgoing call to Sirius


“Bloody hell, it’s like 3 in the fucking morning, Moons.”




“Are you alright?”




“Okay… So, what’s up?”


“I just… Sorry, I… Can you just say something funny? Or anything? Just make me think of something nice. Please?”


“Well I can’t very well be funny on demand, can I? I should be compensated if I’m going to become your personal comedian at bloody three a.m.!”


“I thought you were rolling in cash. That’s what you told me the first time we spoke.”


“Of course I am, that doesn’t mean I work for free. Although, perhaps I could make an exception for you…”


“Yeah? I’m absolutely honored.”


“Hey Moony, I have a question. What do you think I look like?”




“I’m just curious. C’mon, describe me.”


“Alright… I think you’re short and-”


“I am not short!”


“Don’t sound so fucking indignant! You asked!”


“Don’t laugh at me Moony, I am not short! I bet I’m taller than you!”


“I’ll take that bet. I’m one-hundred percent certain I’m taller than you.”


“Oh yeah?”




“If I’m right, you have to buy me coffee when we meet on Friday. If you’re right, I’ll buy it for you.”


“Sounds good. Now, can I continue or will you keep getting offended?”


“No promises, but continue.”


“Alright. I think you’re the type of guy to have long hair. Maybe brown? Blond? Blue eyes… You’re on the rugby team so you’re probably in shape. I don’t know what else there is to describe.”


“Do you think I’m fit?”


“Oh my god.”


“Don’t laugh! C’mon! Am I hot in your mind?”


“From the over-exuding amount of confidence you have in yourself, I think you have to be fit in order to live up to the standards you’ve set. Don’t disappoint me.”


“Oh, I promise, I certainly will not.”


“Now you describe me.”


“Well, apparently you’re freakishly tall.”


“If you got offended by the idea that I thought you were short, is it really fair to call me ‘freakishly tall’?”


“Did I hurt your feelings, Moonshine?”


“Christ. Continue.”


“I think you look like a nerd, no matter how much you try to deny the fact that you’re a smartie-pants, you’re a Prefect, you must look like a nerd.”


“I’m not denying that I’m smart. I’m bloody brilliant. I’m just not a nerd.”


“You’re not humble, either. Now, can I continue?”


“Fine, go on.”


“Obviously, I know you’re a cutie-pie, thanks to Alice. I think maybe you have brown hair and brown eyes. Although, your whole stoner-thing is throwing me off. Maybe you do have a rebellious side. Am I close?”


“I guess you’ll find out on Friday.”


“Wait, are you smoking right now? That was a suspiciously long exhale.”


“Of course not, why on earth would I be getting stoned at three in the morning?”


“You so are. You continue to surprise me. Are you just smoking in your room now? Aren’t you worried about the smell?”


“I have a window. It’s fine.”


“Very daring of you, Moonster.”


“I live on the edge.”


“So… What exactly compelled you to wake me up at such an ungodly hour?”


“I’m sorry for waking you, but honestly, you deserved it for the amount of times you’ve done the same to me.”


“Fair enough. But, why?”


“I don’t really know. I had a bad dream and then I was just dialing your number.”


“And lighting up apparently -- Hey, what’s so funny about that? It’s true isn’t it? You have a nice laugh, Moonbeam.”


“Ha, thanks?”


“Of course. Now, what was the dream about?”


“Uh, nothing important. I just woke up kind of unsettled.”


“Well I’m glad you decided to wake me up out of everyone else in the world. I’m honored. How do you feel now?”


“I’m good. I’ll let you go. Thanks for… Just talking to me I guess?”


“I don’t mind staying up if you’re not going back to sleep yet.”


“No, it’s fine, I’m going to try to sleep. Get on a normal sleeping pattern and all that.”


“Alright, goodnight, Moons.”


“Goodnight, Padfoot.”


*Call ended


Remus organized his things and climbed back into his room. As he laid down he wasn’t thinking about the nightmare he’d just woken up from. Now he was thinking about Sirius, a smile on his lips.

Chapter Text

Sirius is bold

Remus is italic



Remus shifted in his seat for the eleventh time that class. His palms were sweating profusely and he diligently tried to focus in on whatever the hell it was that Slughorn was saying, but he couldn’t. Amos’s presence was all-too overwhelming to concentrate on anything else. Especially with his arm wrapped around Remus’s shoulder.


He felt trapped. Entirely trapped. His heart was beating so loudly that he couldn’t hear the question Slughorn was asking him. Remus’s head was spinning. He was quite sure he was going to vomit all over the desk, his nausea was overwhelming.


Remus barely registered the words “ill” and “Hospital Wing” exchanged between his professor and his ex, before Amos was tugging him out of his chair and guiding him out of the door. Remus stumbled, his chest swelling with panic. His body began to shake.


“What’s wrong with you?” Amos was asking, but it sounded like he was underwater. Remus tripped as Amos pulled him down the corridor and pressed him up against a wall. “Are you actually sick or are you just being weird?”


“L-let go.” Remus wheezed, suddenly finding it hard to breath, his stomach churning.


“Because if you aren’t actually sick, then we’ve got an entire hour before anyone will come looking for us.” Amos murmured, leaning in so his breath ran down Remus’s neck.




“C’mon. Not up for a quickie?” Amos pestered, pressing Remus harder against the wall, “It’ll be fast. I can do all of the work. Not that you do much usually.”


“N-no.” Remus gripped Amos’s arm weakly, his head spinning. He hadn’t felt this sick since… Remus’s heart skipped a beat. He hadn’t felt this sick since he was hospitalized two years ago. He needed to get to the Hospital Wing. Fast. “Sick. I’m sick.”


“Whatever, you seem fine enough. It’ll be fast.” Amos rolled his eyes. He grabbed at Remus’s belt, and Remus lost control of his body. The contents of his stomach roared up and emptied down Amos’s chest. Vomit dripped down his body, landing in a horrible puddle at their feet. “You dickhead.” Amos growled, slamming Remus back into the wall, stepping back in disgust. “You couldn’t have warned me? Fuck, Lupin. Look, you’ve ruined my clothes. And my shoes. Fuck.”




Remus and Amos turned to see Alice standing in the archway leading to the girl’s bathrooms, staring at them with wide-eyes.


“Let me take you to the infirmary.”


“I’ve got it, Lightwood.” Amos growled, turning back to glare at Remus. “Go back to class.”


“No, Diggory. I think it’s best that you went back to class.” Alice replied, walking forward and gently pulling Remus away from the wall he had just been slammed against. “And I also think it’s best that you listen to Remus from now on. I’m pretty sure he told you to stop, didn’t he?”


Amos scowled at Alice before stalking off. Alice gently guided Remus away towards the Hospital Wing.


“You look terrible, Remus.”


Remus grunted, still stumbling as they walked.


“You had too much again, didn’t you?”




“You’re going to get in trouble.” Alice sighed, hurrying the two of them up, not liking how pale Remus’s face was becoming. “Fuck, Remus, I told you to stop after the last time it happened.”


“Pomfrey won’t tell.” Remus hissed out, still struggling to breathe properly. “I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t paying attention this morning.”


“That doesn’t make it better.”


When they arrived, Madam Pomfrey fretted dramatically. She said there was nothing she could do but keep an eye on him until it passed. She unceremoniously handed Remus a bucket and hurried over to help a boy with a broken finger.


The doors crashed open and Lily came sprinting in, breathless as she stopped before her two friends. Alice was sitting on the edge of Remus’s bed, combing her fingers soothingly through his hair.


“I…” Lily took a deep breath, she’d clearly been running for a while, “I just got your text. I… I thought. Fuck, Alice, when you said he overdosed I wish that you’d have been more specific! Christ, I thought…”


“No one’s ever died from marijuana consumption.” Remus groaned, shutting his eyes as the room felt like it was spinning, “You just get super sick when you have too much.”


“I thought you might have switched on to different drugs.” Lily sighed, perching herself at the foot of Remus’s hospital cot. “Christ, what a way to start the day. How long do you have to stay here?”


“It’ll pass in an hour or so, but Pomfrey won’t let me leave until tomorrow.” Remus grumbled, “She thinks I’ll go get high once I leave and make it worse.”


“That’s because you would.” Alice huffed in annoyance, before looking pointedly at Lily, “This is why I discourage him from smoking!”


“Would you prefer I drink myself into delirium instead? It’s not like it's new in the family line.”


“Not funny, Remus.” Alice snapped.


“You’re not being very comforting.” Remus complained.


“You deserve a little discomfort for being so careless. You’re going to screw yourself over, Remus. They could expel you for this.”




So ?” Lily repeated. “So then you won’t graduate, you won’t get into university, you won’t get a good paying job, and you’ll be dependent on us for the rest of your life.”


“You’re being a little extreme, don’t you think?” Remus grumbled.


“If you got kicked out of school, how would you make it through?” Lily questioned, an eyebrow raised, indicating a challenge.


“I’ve heard strippers make a lot of money.”


“Remus!” Both girls shouted at the same time.


“Christ, I’m joking. I’ll stay in school, go to a respectable university, and obtain a high-paying, stuffy office job and work my life away behind a desk. Better?”


“Why are you being such a dick right now?” Lily rolled her eyes.


“It’s because he’s still high and he’s a bitch when he smokes too much.” Alice grumbled.


“At least I have an excuse.” Remus mumbled under his breath. “What’s yours?”


“Not funny, Remus.” Lily sighed, pretending that there wasn’t a smile tugging at her lips. “Maybe you should get some rest. We’ll come back later tonight, alright?”


“Sounds good. Thanks for helping me here, Alice.” Remus did feel a little bad for being such a prick. But he forgot about it quickly when his phone buzzed in his pocket



Monday. October 3rd 11:03 a.m.


How’s your day going, Moonshine?

Sent at 11:03 a.m.


I’m currently in the infirmary and my dreams of becoming a stripper are dead. So it’s an average Monday.

Sent at 11:04 a.m.


Uh, shit?… I think you need to elaborate.

Sent at 11:07 a.m.


Alice and Lily told me I can’t chose stripping as a viable career path, so I’m back to square one.

Sent at 11:08 a.m.


And the part about the infirmary?

Sent at 11:08 a.m.


Unrelated and unimportant, just annoying. I’m fine. Stuck here until tomorrow.

Sent at 11:09 a.m.


Remember how we talked about opening up more?

Sent at 11:09 a.m.


Fine, I smoked a little too much and threw up. I’m good though.

Sent at 11:10 a.m.

Fuck, be more careful Moonbeam.

Sent at 11:10 a.m.


And make a wish ;)

Sent at 11:11 a.m.


I wish for my stripping career to take off

Sent at 11:11 a.m.


That’s funny, I wished for your stripping career to take off, too.

Sent at 11:12 a.m.


I could be your first client.

Sent at 11:12 a.m.


Isn’t it frowned upon to flirt with someone while they’re in the infirmary?

Sent at 11:14 a.m.


Depends on how sick you are. You seem very resolute that you are fine, so I’m going to say it’s all okay. So… Private showing? ;)

Sent at 11:15 a.m.


If you can pay for it. I’ve got to make a living somehow.

Sent at 11:17 a.m.


Name your price, I’ll double it

Sent at 11:18 a.m.


You’re a little horny for eleven in the morning.

Sent at 11:19 a.m.


You’re the one that brought up stripping.

Sent at 11:20 a.m.


Y’know, I’ve always thought I’d be a good stripped. We can be partners.

Sent at 11:20 a.m.


Isn’t stripping more of a one-man-show type of deal?

Sent at 11:22 a.m.


It’s much more interesting with two. Have you never seen a strip-show?

Sent at 11:23 a.m.



Sent at 11:25 a.m.


Have you??

Sent at 11:25 a.m.


Of bloody course I have. You confuse me Moony.

Sent at 11:27 a.m.


Some days I think you’re innocent, then I think you’re the literal devil, and then I think you’re innocent again. You’re really giving me whiplash here.

Sent at 11:28 a.m.


I’ll take you to a strip club one day. How about Friday?

Sent at 11:29 a.m.


Hm… I seem to recall having some plans for Friday… I believe I have to tutor a dumbass who thinks offering to take me to a strip-club is a good way of flirting.

Sent at 11:31 a.m.


It’s working, Moonbeam. You’re all over me and you know it. ;)

Sent at 11:33 a.m.


Aren’t you excited to see me on Friday?

Sent at 11:34 a.m.


Although don’t get TOO excited. I was informed that it’s too early to be horny.

Sent at 11:34 a.m.


You’re so gross.

Sent at 11:36 a.m.


You love it xxx

Sent at 11:36 a.m.



Tuesday. October 4th 5:02 a.m.


Still hospitalized, Moondog?

Sent at 5:02 a.m.


Fuck off. I’m sleeping.

Sent at 5:04 a.m.


I’m bored. C’mon, stay up and talk to me.

Sent at 5:05 a.m.


Did you have another nightmare?

Sent at 5:06 a.m.


If I say yes will you stay awake with me?

Sent at 5:06 a.m.


Depends on whether or not it’s the truth

Sent at 5:08 a.m.


Isn’t it my job to get you to open up? I’m not sure I like the role reversal here

Sent at 5:09 a.m.


Now you’re just avoiding the question, so I’m taking that as a ‘yes’. What was it about?

Sent at 5:11 a.m.


I’m not up to talking about it right now. Can’t we just chat? Tell me more of your stripping aspirations?

Sent at 5:12 a.m.


You’re very fascinated by the idea of me taking my clothes off, huh?

Sent at 5:14 a.m.



Sent at 5:14 a.m.


You can give me a teaser on Friday!

Sent at 5:15 a.m.


Nope. Absolutely not. All of my clothes will remain on and we’re actually going to study. This will be our fourth week of me tutoring you, and I have yet to actually do so

Sent at 5:17 a.m.


Our fourth week! Our one-month-anniversary is coming up!

Sent at 5:18 a.m.


Moony, we have to celebrate!

Sent at 5:18 a.m.


Pop some champagne, ya know?

Sent at 5:19 a.m.


No. Sober studying. That’s how we’ll celebrate

Sent at 5:20 a.m.


You truly are a buzzkill. Did you know that?

Sent at 5:22 a.m.


It’s my specialty

Sent at 5:24 a.m.


I’ve noticed. So, Moonshine, tell me… Why aren’t you currently being expelled? Isn’t smoking on school grounds and big no-no at Hogwarts? Especially when you’re smoking illegal substances?

Sent at 5:26 a.m.


The school nurse adores me.

Sent at 5:27 a.m.


Ah, right. I constantly forget the fact that you’re apparently a cutiepie.

Sent at 5:27 a.m.


That’s not why she adores me. I’m very charming and an enormous kiss-ass. I also volunteer to help her out a lot during cold season.

Sent at 5:28 a.m.


You’re such a fucking nerd, sometimes I can’t get past it

Sent at 5:29 a.m.



Sent at 5:30 a.m.




Thursday. October 6th 12:03 p.m.


How psyched are you to finally see me in person tomorrow? Xxx

Sent at 12:03 p.m.


Not psyched. Only concerned

Sent at 12:07 p.m.


Concerned? (Also ouch?)

Sent at 12:08 p.m.


I can’t decide if you’d possibly act like this in real life, or if it’s just a show. I’m concerned about the way you act when people are around. If it’s anything like you are now, you must attract a lot of attention.

Sent at 12:09 p.m.


I’m always the center of attention, babe ;)

Sent at 12:11 p.m.


Christ. This’ll be interesting.

Sent at 12:13 p.m.


You know you’re loving it.

Sent at 12:14 p.m.




Friday. October 7th 5:32 p.m.


What’re you wearing ;)

Sent at 5:32 p.m.


So I can spot you in Starbucks, of course. No other motives here.

Sent at 5:33 p.m.


Big grey jumper & jeans. Really sexy.

Sent at 5:34 p.m.


Yeah, I’m into the grandpa chic.

Sent at 5:34 p.m.


Are you there already?

Sent at 5:36 p.m.


Of course. Didn’t want to risk messing up again and facing your wrath.

Sent at 5:37 p.m.


You’re a dope and I’m on the train. I’ll be there soon.

Sent at 5:38 p.m.


I’ll keep an eye out ;)

Sent at 5:40 p.m.



His stomach was fluttering. Why was his stomach fluttering? And Christ, his mouth was so dry.


A soft chime of bells echoed through the mostly-empty coffeeshop as the front door opened. Sirius looked up automatically. If he wasn’t so nervous and if he wasn’t waiting on Remus, he definitely would have made a move on the guy that just walked in. He was undeniably attractive.


His honey-colored hair curled wildly on top of his head, freckles sprinkled his face, and his brown eyes were wide and soft as they scanned the Starbucks, ultimately landing on Sirius. Sirius’s stomach lurched.


Grey jumper. He was wearing a grey jumper. Sirius cleared his throat and quickly stood up, knocking over his empty mug in the process. Christ, why was he smirking like that?


“Sirius?” The boy asked. The mischievous look on his face was almost sinful and it made Sirius’s palms go clammy. What the hell was happening to him?


“Hey, Remus.” Sirius managed to clear the lump from his throat, running his fingers through his hair, ruffling it up nervously, forcing an easy-looking grin onto his face.

You’re Sirius?” Remus laughed. Sirius felt a tug in his chest. Why was he laughing? Remus seemed to notice Sirius’s expression falter. His laughter faded but a smile remained on my lips. “God, of course you are. I can’t imagine you’d remember, you were well and truly wasted, but Sirius, we’ve met before.”

Chapter Text

“I… Uh, what?” Sirius looked utterly confused, “When? How? What ?”


“Fuck, it makes so much sense.” Remus laughed, shaking his head. Sirius felt an unexpected warmth in his chest at Remus’s casual profanity.


What the fuck was wrong with him today?


Remus extended his hand, that devilish grin still on his lips, “I guess it’s polite to formally greet you. Nice to meet you, Sirius.”


His heart seemed to miss a beat at the sound of his name from Remus. What the fuck. Sirius tried to discreetly wipe the sweat from his palm before shaking Remus’s hand. “And it’s a pleasure to meet you, too, Moonbeam.” He replied with a fake confidence as the two of them sat down. “Care to explain our previous encounter?”


Remus laughed and the sound made Sirius’s chest warm again.


Parties were never Remus’s thing. He rarely attended them, and never enjoyed them. But Alice had convinced him to come. Amos had been suspended two months prior and she insisted he needed to find a rebound.


So there he was, a red, plastic cup in his hand, chatting up a semi-nice-looking bloke in the corner of a very crowded and very loud club. Or, at least, he was going to chat up this decently attractive boy, if he wasn’t so rudely interrupted.


He came staggering at them, the drink in his hand sloshing and spilling over the brim, drenching the boy Remus was talking to in a matter of seconds. “ ‘Ello there !” He greeted very cheerily. His black, unruly hair was glued to his forehead from sweat, he was missing the first three buttons on his shirt, and he was unquestionably hammered.


“Fuck off, get out of here, Black.” The boy next to Remus complained, dabbing at his now alcohol-soaked shirt with a crumpled up napkin.


“Was I speakin’ to yah, Benjy-boy?” Sirius slurred, drunkenly swatting Benjy away, before taking his place next to Remus, who looked exceptionally amused. “Yer rather fit, aye?”


“Hello to you, too.”


“Hmm… I know what you’re prolly thinking!” Sirius startled Remus with the volume of his statement, “That ‘m too good-lookin’ to be an easy shag. But guess again!”


In his sheer surprise, Remus laughed, looking around to see if anyone else was witnessing this brazen attitude the drunk boy in front of him had.


“And if you were in the m-” He cut himself off with a surprised look on his face. Sirius stumbled, grabbing at his own stomach, before turning around, doubling over, and releasing the contents of his stomach onto the floor of the club.


“While I am definitely embarrassed for my past-self’s actions, you’ve really got to applaud by confidence.” Sirius grinned sheepishly.


“It’s nice to see you sober.” Remus laughed, “Although, you’re more of a smooth-talker when you’re trashed.”


“I’m plenty smooth while sober, you know that for a fact.” Sirius argued, a grin still on his lips. “Also, Alice warned me you were cute, but she didn’t tell me that you also looked like a badass at the same time.”


Remus’s cheeks turned a light shade of pink and Sirius’s grin grew. “I’m neither cute nor a badass, but thank you?”


“You’re definitely cute. Fuck, Remus, you’ve got dimples for Christ’s sake. And your hair! It’s adorable!” Sirius was very pleased to note how flustered he was making Remus. “But no one mentioned the scars. Shit, they make you look so cool. Edgy, might I add.”


Remus rolled his eyes, “They’re not edgy .”


“Why have you never mentioned them?”


“They’re not exactly my proudest feature.” Remus replied, shifting and looking down at his hands, trying not to grimace at the particularly deep scar that ran across his left hand.


“They make you look hot, Moonshine.” Sirius spoke in a low voice that made Remus feel funny. He scowled and pretended his cheeks weren’t red-hot


“Shut up.” He shook his head, “We’re actually going to study, y’know. But first, you have to buy me a coffee.”


Sirius quirked an eyebrow, “Oh? Do I?”


“Yes, I’m quite a bit taller than you.”


“Oh shove it, Moonbeam, ‘quite a bit’ is stretching it. Stand up again. I’d say it’s less than an inch of difference.”


The two boys stood once more and a cocky smirk overtook Remus’s lips. “You hardly reach my nose.”


Sirius pouted and turned wordlessly to the barista counter.


Remus chuckled and sat back down.


“Oi, Lupin.” Sirius called from across the Starbucks. Remus flushed as people looked between them as Sirius disrupted them. “How d’ya take your coffee?”


“Black.” Remus replied instinctually. He cursed himself as a self-satisfied smirk took over Sirius’s lips.


“You like your coffee like you like your men, aye?”


“Fuck off.” Remus laughed.


“There are children here, Lupin.” He called back.


“Could you two stop flirting? Some of us are trying to get work done.” A disgruntled pre-teen hissed before returning to her group of friends, huddled over a pile of textbooks, studying for what must have been an upcoming exam.


Sirius grinned wickedly and sent a wink to Remus before turning to the barista who was waiting impatiently behind him. Remus flushed red and pulled out a Chemistry textbook to busy himself.


“Here’s your coffee. Black, courtesy of your favorite Black.” Sirius grinned, placing two mugs of coffee on the table.


Remus rolled his eyes, “The only member of the Black family I know. You’re my favorite by default.”


“But you admit I’m your favorite.” Sirius pressed.


Remus laughed and shook his head, “Studying. Now . Scoot your chair around so you can read from this textbook with me.”


“Well, if you insist on me sitting closer.” Sirius teased, bringing his chair around to sit next to Remus.


“I think you’re actually insufferable.”


“Oh you love it, Moons.” Sirius laughed, casually draping an arm around the back of Remus’s chair. Remus’s heart felt like it was in his throat and his cheeks flushed as he quickly opened up the textbook.


“Your next test is on balancing chemical equations, so we’ll cover that.” Remus announced. “It’s easy. It’s just basic math.”


Sirius was a surprisingly better student than Remus thought he would be. He didn’t interrupt too frequently and he caught on fast.


After about an hour of studying, both of them were growing restless and they came to the unanimous decision to end their session for the day.


“You seem to understand everything well.” Remus commented as he slung his backpack over his shoulder and the pair began to walk towards the exit. “Maybe if you spent some time listening in class, you’d pass.”


“If I listened in class, I wouldn’t have met you, Moons.” Sirius grinned cheerfully, nudging Remus with his elbow.


“Fair point. I’m worth failing Chem, I guess.” Remus joked as they walked through the dark streets, coming to a stop in front of the train platform for Hogwarts. “So…” He trailed off, awkwardly shoving his hands into his pockets, “This is my stop.”


“I’ve got a question for you.” Sirius blurted out.


“Alright.” Remus rose an eyebrow, “Shoot.”


“What are the scars from?”


“Oh.” Remus was genuinely surprised at this question before he let out a small laugh. “I don’t… I think you’re the first person to ever ask me that.”


Sirius grinned, “Prongs says I lack tact, but I think being blunt helps move things along.”


“I was attacked by a dog as a kid.”


“Pretty angry dog, huh?”


“Yeah.” Remus let out another laugh, this one, however, was dry and lacking humor. “Really angry. It took me to the very edge of my life. It was a long stay in the hospital, a couple of surgeries, and here I am.”


“Shit.” Sirius breathed, “How young were you?”


“I was ten.”


“Oh…” Sirius’s eyebrows furrowed together. “That’s how old you were when your dad…”


Remus tensed up slightly, shifting uncomfortably. “Yeah. It was rough on him, I guess. Long hours in the hospital. Really expensive medical bills. Excetera, excetera.”


“He left you when you were on the fucking brink of death?” Sirius reacted with unexpected anger.


“It was a while ago, Sirius.” Remus breathed a soft laugh, “I’m not the only one in the world whose father walked out on them, it’s okay. I’ve moved on.”


“Still, what a fucking dick.” Sirius grumbled.


Remus rolled his eyes, but there was no malice behind it. “So, I’ll see you next week?”


“Yeah, uh… unless…” Sirius trailed off. It was his turn to awkwardly shove his hands into his pockets.


“Unless?” Remus pressed.


“Unless you wanted to do something tomorrow? Y’know, like, not study?” Sirius’s cheeks were a light shade of pink.


“Are you asking me out on a date, Sirius?” Remus teased, grinning in amusement.


“No, no…” Sirius assured quickly, becoming flustered. “I was just, uh… Asking you to hang out. You can meet Prongs, and -- uh… You’ve met Wormy already, but he could be there, too. I just thought… We don’t have to, I just-”


“I’ll see you tomorrow, Sirius.” Remus laughed, cutting him off.


“Oh.” Sirius breathed deeply, nodding and trying to calm himself down, “Okay. Cool. I’ll, uh… See you tomorrow.”


“Goodnight, Sirius.” Remus smirked as the train for Hogwarts pulled into the station.


“Bonne nuit, babe.” Sirius winked, quickly regaining the confidence he had momentarily lost as Remus flushed and boarded the train.

Chapter Text

Friday 9:02 PM


I kinda miss you already

Sent at 9:02 pm


You’re not too bad to hang out with, Moonbeam

Sent at 9:02 pm


For a nerd that is, anyway

Sent at 9:02 pm


Oh my god, you’re so fucking in love with me

Sent at 9:10 pm


Can you never let me be sweet and friendly and charismatic without assuming I’m trying to get in your pants or something

Sent at 9:12 pm


Well, I said NOTHING about getting in my pants, seems as though that was your own idea...

Sent at 9:13 pm


I liked it more when you were flustered by me flirting with you!

Sent at 9:13 pm


You wanna get in my pants, Sirius? ;)

Sent at 9:15 pm




“What are you smiling at, Pads?” James’ voice made Sirius flinch and he looked up to see his best friend offering him their stowed away bottle of vodka “Pre-game?”


“Uh, no, I’m fine.” Sirius responded and watched James’ face shift to a confused expression. “I don’t think I’ll join you guys tonight.”


“Are you ill?” James rose an eyebrow, “When have you ever said no to getting drunk and sneaking out?”


“I just don’t feel up to it.” Sirius shrugged, scratching the back of his neck. As he did so, a faint buzz came from his nightstand as his phone lit up with a new message.


A small twitch raised James’ lips into a smirk that Sirius decidedly did not like.


“How was your study session?” He asked with a tone that implied he knew something that Sirius didn’t.


Sirius rolled his eyes, “We just studied Chemistry.” He picked his phone up and smiled as he read the newest message.



Well if you did want to get in my pants, they might need alterations, I’m not sure they’d fit you.

Sent at 9:17 pm



“So…” James grinned, stretching out the word, “What did Remus want?”


“Why are you saying his name like that?” Sirius sighed, putting his phone down without responding.


“Clearly you fancy him!” James laughed, taking a swig from the bottle in his hand and grimacing at the taste, 


“You’re being stupid.” Sirius denied, waving him off, “He’s just become a good friend.”


I’m a good friend and you don’t invite me on dates.” James practically giggled as he dodged a pillow Sirius threw at him.


“Tomorrow is not a date, I told you that you and Peter were both invited!” Sirius insisted, his cheeks reddening slightly.


“You knew we were both busy, you wanked. Just admit you like him.” James grinned, then paused, “Is that a book?”


“No.” Sirius replied quickly, shoving an object further under his bed sheets.


“Oh my god, it is!” James was nearly squealing with delight as he dove for it.


“No! Stop!” Sirius struggled against him, but James eventually overpowered him, kneeling on his chest to keep him from moving as he happily grabbed Sirius’s hidden book.


“No fucking way.” James gasped.


“Get off of me.” Sirius groaned, trying to shove the taller boy off, his cheeks completely pink.


“A TEXTBOOK!” James shouted, rolling off of Sirius in a fit of laughter, “Oh my god, you’re whipped!”


“I just want better grades.” Sirius mumbled, knowing that lie wouldn’t cut it.


“HA!” James cackled, clutching a stitch in his side, absolutely hysterical.


“Shut up.” Sirius groaned, kicking James in the stomach to shove him off his bed. James landed with a thud but kept on laughing.


Deciding to ignore him, Sirius reached for his phone.




You’re just so clever, Moonbeam

Sent at 9:25 pm


I think it’s you that wants me in your pants

Sent at 9:25 pm


Sure ;)

Sent at 9:28 pm


That’s why you asked me on a date tonight

Sent at 9:29 pm


Well if you don’t want to hang out

Sent at 9:35 pm


Don’t be so sensitive, Sirius, of course I do

Sent at 9:36 pm


I miss you already, too. Even if that’s kind of weird

Sent at 9:36 pm


I knew you were into me ;)

Sent at 9:40 pm




“Would you get off your phone!” Lily groaned, flopping herself against Remus, resting her head in his lap. “I’m bored and I thought we were going to catch up! What are you smiling at?” She sat up, intrigued, “Is it Sirius again?”


Remus paused and looked up at her, “No it’s just…”


Lily grinned, “Just… Who? I know it’s not Alice, she’s in detention. Who else would you be texting?”


“It’s just Twitter” Remus tried to brush it off and Lily smirked.


“When are you seeing him next?”


“Uh, tomorrow.”


Lily grinned, “A date?”


“No, it’s not!” Remus insisted, “His friends are going to be there, too.”


“Sure.” Lily replied smugly, “Should I leave? Give you some space to continue your sexting?”


“Lily!” Remus flushed, “I’m not sexting him.”


“Sure.” Lily repeated, a knowing smirk on her lips. “Wanna get high?”


“Yes.” Remus quickly agreed and the pair of them slid out the window to sit on the ledge outside of Remus’s room, Remus’s phone still clutched in his hand.