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Why?

Chapter Text

“Bones, thanks for helping out. Dr. Marcus asked for the steadiest hands on the ship.” Jim said

“You know, when I dreamed about being stuck on a deserted planet with a gorgeous woman, there was no torpedo!” The Doctor replied

“Dr. McCoy, may I remind you that you’re not there to flirt.”

“So how can these legendary hands help you, Dr. Marcus?”

You looked down at your workstation, jealousy visible on your face, you noticed that Scotty had looked at you briefly and had gauged your reaction

“Bones…” your brother said as a warning,

Chekov was the only one who knew about your crush on Leonard, mainly because you two got drunk one night and played truth or dare

“Hey, are you ok lass?” The Engineer asked

“I’m good just, well you know.”

“Of course, I’m sorry (y/n), I know how you feel about McCoy, I could turn off the comms if you’d like?”

“No, it’s fine, I want to hear what happens.” You told him

That’s when you heard Mr Sulu tell Jim about the torpedo arming itself, your mind went to Leonard immediately,

You jumped out of your seat and made your way to the Bridge, ignoring Chekov yelling out to you

But you didn’t make it to be bridge because you ran into Jim

“Sorry.” You apologised, turning to walk alongside him

“Hey it’s fine, what’s the rush, are you ok (y/n)?” Jim asked

“I’m fine Jim, but is Leonard ok? Is he safe?”

“He’s fine the torpedo has been disarmed, I’m on my way to see them now, they apparently have found something in them.” Your brother explained

You breathed a sigh of relief

“Wait, why are you so concerned about Bones? you two aren’t really friends, you hardly speak to each other.”

“H- h- he’s the best CMO on this ship and your best friend that’s why I was worried.” You winced at your own lie, knowing that you would never be able to convince your big brother

“Holy crap you’re in love with him.”

“What, n- no I don’t, what a- are you talking about?” You stuttered, still not convincing enough

“Ok, yes I do like him, just please don’t tell him, it’s just a stupid crush that will go away.”

“I won’t, I promise, just tell me one thing, how long, how long have you liked him?”  

“Almost 1 ½ years, but nothing will ever happen, you heard him flirting with Dr Marcus, you’ve seen him flirt with loads of people, he could never fall for me.” You admitted, looking down to the floor stopping in your tracks because tears had started to form in your eyes

“(y/n), hey, you ok?”

“Yeah I’m fine” you said you voice wavering “I’m just gonna go back to, um, to engineering, I’m sure Chekov needs my help.” You turned to walk away when you saw Leonard walking down the hall towards you and Jim, you looked to Jim, hoping that your brother would fake dismissing you, but you had no such luck,

“Dammit Jim, I’ve been waiting for your sorry ass to get to Medbay, this is important.” Leonard huffed

“I was coming, but my sister wasn’t ok so I had to see what was up with her.” He said gesturing to you

At that point you wanted the ground to swallow you up, because Leonard looked at you for the first time since you had met him, his eyes softening because he saw that you had tear stains on your uniform, but you didn’t see it because you were still staring at the floor

“I’ll leave you two to it, no need for me to intervene with what’s happening.” You said turning to walk away again, and this time you actually walked away, but stopped when you heard them arguing about something, they were arguing about you

“Why was she crying?” Leonard asked

“Like I’m gonna tell you that.” Jim replied

“Jim, you know how I feel about her. Has somebody hurt her?”

“Yeah, you did.” You said emerging from your place in the hall

“What do you mean by that?!”

“What it means is that I like you and I heard you flirting with Dr Marcus, I’ve seen you flirting with all those people, and it broke my heart to listen to it all and then you almost died, I thought you were going to die, I was on my way to the bridge when I ran into Jim, that’s why I was crying, because I had told him that I have liked you for a year and ½ and that it was never gonna happen and I was right because if you truly feel something for me, then you wouldn’t have flirted with someone else.” The last bit came out as a growl,

He didn’t respond, he just stared at you, you shook your head, tears starting to form again, so you turned away and walked all the way back to engineering, he didn’t even stop you, when you got there, tears were freely falling down your face but you didn’t care, that was until Chekov asked what was up, that is when you began to sob, he held you against his chest to comfort you as you cried onto his uniform as he whispered Russian into your ear

“Все в порядке, все будет хорошо”

“You do know I have no idea what you’re saying right?” you said, pulling away from from his embrace, giggling and wiping away your tears

“Vell, i know zat now” he laughed also

“Well, we should get back to work immediately, that warp core won’t fix itself” you said smiling a the wiz kid, not knowing what was going to happen,

Chapter Text

“Sorry about this” you said as you decked your brother/captain and your boss, knocking them both out with a pipe

You proceeded to up the door to the warp core and ran inside

As soon as you got there you tried to figure out how to get it back into alignment

You decided to jump on it, because why the hell not?

You kicked and jumped as you hung from a bar

You started feeling weaker and weaker, tears threatened to fall

“I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, so so sorry.” You chanted, as you jumped for the last time as it finally became aligned, by then tears were flowing freely down your cheeks and you were growing even weaker as you stumbled back down to the door

You reached the door, you collapsed in front of it, your brother ran up, tear stains on his cheeks

“I'm so sorry.” Your voice barely a whisper

“I lost Pike, I cannot lose you too!” He screamed

“Jim, I love you, tell Leonard that I love him and that it was never just a stupid crush, it was love.”

“I love you too and I will, I promise you.”

“Thank you.”

“Scotty get this door open.”

Scotty opened his mouth to say something g but you interrupted

“He can't, the radiation would flood the ship, you'd die as well.”

“What she said.”

You laughed weakly and turned to your brother

“Do you remember the game we played as kids? What was the name of it?”

“Why are you asking me this now?”

“Just answer the question”

“Yeah I remember it but not the name”

“I want you to remember the rules and why we played, and when you remember those, think of me, because my time is running out, I can feel it, I can feel it in my bones .”

“No, please, NO!”

“I'll tell you what, I remember a bit of the name.”

“Oh yeah” he sniffled “what is it?”

“Gotcha.” And your whole world went black

“NO!” He screamed and reached for his comm

“BONES!” He shouted down the device

“Jim? What's wrong? What's happened?!”

“(y/n), she umm, she saved us all. Leonard we need you down here, she” he took a deep breath “she's dead Bones, (y/n) gone” tears fell down his face

“No she can't be, Jim tell me that's not true”

“I can't, we need you down here with a stretcher and a, um, a body bag”

All he could hear was the drop of a comm, and the turbo lift

When they arrived Jim noticed Bones wasn't with them

“Where's Dr McCoy?”

“Still in his office Sir, sounded like he was crying”

“Thank you”

Jim walked over the lift, wiping his face on his sleeve

When he finally arrived in med bay he noted the crying coming from his friends office

He noted the concerned looking patients

He walked up to the door and knocked

“Go the hell away!”

“Not gonna happen.” Jim replied

“Jim what the hell are you doing here?” Bones asked him

“She wanted me to tell you something before she, uhh, she died.”

“And what was it? was it that she hated me? or that she wished she never met me? Because right now Jim, that's not what I need, I don't need to be told that the woman I love started to hate me, what I need is for her to be alive, so I can tell her that I love her, so I can tell her that I flirted with all those women because I knew, I knew I never stood a chance with her, I loved, love her Jim and I'm never gonna be able to tell her that.”

Tears were falling down Leonard's face and onto his shirt

“She never hated you Bones, she told me to tell you that she was in love with you, and that it was never just some stupid crush, she loved you,with all her heart, I made a promise to her to tell you that, and I kept it, so what I need you to do now, is get the hell up off of the floor, and help your colleagues, that's an order from your captain.”

“Jim, as Spock said when he beat you up, I'm emotionally compromised”

“How about I order you as the older brother of the deceased to help, the older brother of the woman you love, so, get off of you ass and help!”

“And what will you be doing? Giving more orders huh?!”

“I'll be attacking a homicidal maniac who has killed several hundreds of my crew and my sister, if you must know.”

“So you're gonna do your usual and I'm gonna save a life?”

Jim looked at Bones confused

“How are you going to save her?”

“This tribble was injected with Khan's blood when it was dead, it alive.”

“So?”

“So, attack him but don't kill him, or ya know, you could always set Spock on him.”

“How though?”

“Tell him he,” he paused “killed your sister, they were pretty close”

“I can't just tell hi-” he was interrupted by a scream

“KHAAAAAAAN!!”

“I think he just found out, Jim you need to tell Uhura to stop him killing Khan, meanwhile I've got a patient to save. Now go”

“Look who's giving the orders now” Jim mumbled

“Damn right I am, it's the only way you'll get things done, now go!”

“I'm going I'm going”

When he left, Bones tried not to break down as he saw the body bag being brought in

“Go I'll umm, I'll take care of this”

“Sir are you sure that's a good idea?” One of the nurses said

Bones just gave them a glare

“Yeah we'll just go” he said scurrying out

Once he was alone, Bones looked down at the black casing that contained your body

He unzipped it and choked back a sob as he pulled back the material to show part of your face

You looked so pale.

He let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding

“Here’s hoping i’m right.”

*time skip ‘cause i didn’t want to write it*

‘Where am i?’ you thought as your eyes fluttered open

You groaned slightly as you moved your head to the right

Surprised slightly by the view

Your brother with his head on his fist fast asleep in a chair

“He’s been there for the past two weeks whilst you’ve been out.” came the southern drawl that you loved so much

“I’ve been out for two weeks?” you managed to croak out sitting up slightly

“Hey, take it easy.” he said handing you a glass of water

“And yes, you have. He’s been worried sick,” he coughs and looks down to you “and umm, and so have I.”

You look up to him and smile slightly and he leans down and chuckles lightly

Which wakes up your brother, which in turn makes Bones springe away from you quickly, mush to your disappointment

“(y/n)?! You’re awake and alive! Oh my god i’ve been worried sick! We all have!” he exclaimed holding on to you for dear life

“Jim easy on the hugging, please,” you tell him and he lets go “sorry, i’m just so happy! I need to go tell everyone” he says before running out the room like a squirrel up a tree

Leaving a tension in the room

You turn to Leonard

“So are we gonna talk about what you were gonna do before Jim woke up? Or are we just gonna let it hang until they all come in?”

He walks over to you

“Or we could not talk and just do this” he says to you, before softly pressing his lips to yours

You kiss back almost instantly

You pull apart for air

“I love you” he says to you

“I love you too.” you reply, pressing your lips to his again

“MY EYES!” you pull apart again and turn your head to the door

The whole crew stood in the doorway your brother covering his face

‘Oh god this is so embarrassing’ was all you thought, nuzzling your face in Leonards neck