Chapter 1: trust/separation
I trust her.
I trust her.
I trust her.
Lying alone in her bed, Historia couldn’t let herself think beyond that point. Ymir would come back. Ymir would come back safe, and then everything could be okay.
That was going to happen.
None of the awful possibilities would become real.
Are you sure about that? Cause there’s a good chance she’s dead already, you’ll never get to see her smile again, or hear her voice-
Historia rolled over, blocking out that other voice in her head. Damn, she really did hate herself sometimes.
Ymir was gonna come back, and they would be together again, and maybe Historia could be okay for the first time in her life.
She needs me to come back.
I have to-
Ymir never did come back.
Historia never really trusted anyone besides herself again.
That could be seen as living for herself, right?
Ymir would be proud of her.
Chapter 2: summer romance
So I'm 100% revisiting this AU sometime.
Historia never expected someone like her to come to this shitty town, where the only option for the born-and-breds was to get the hell out or die there after getting married, having kids, and taking over your family’s business.
She was strangely beautiful, a feral smile among all the picture-perfects.
And Historia wanted to know her name.
The feeling must have been mutual, because just a day after she had noticed her, someone thumped onto the bench beside her, overlooking the beach and the setting sun.
“You look like you’re really into your book. Is it good?”
Tugging her earbuds out, Historia looked up at her, blue eyes wide in surprise.
She had forgotten some people didn't know not to talk to her.
“Yeah! Yeah, it is, um, I just started it. You- you wanna read the flap?”
The other girl nodded, golden light playing across her lightly freckled face.
Then, Historia didn’t know she would come to see so many more freckles on that face.
Or, that she would fall so fast or so hard.
She raised her eyebrows, handing the book back to Historia, carefully preserving her place.
“The Miseducation of Cameron Post. Sounds pretty good. Do you mind if I sit here with you?”
Historia just nodded, sneaking peeks up at her.
Why was she sitting here?
Did she not know her reputation?
Well of fucking course she doesn’t, she’s from out of town, don’t you dare-
Historia went back to her book, shoving away her thoughts.
And then she remembered what book she was reading.
“Say, where did you get a book like that in a town like this?”
Historia looked at her, smiling slightly.
“I had to order it online. My dad’s the reverend, I have to be careful. It’s worth it, though. Being the only out gay kid in a town fucking sucks, you know?”
She could not believe she had just blurted that out.
But the other girl was smiling sympathetically at her.
“Yeah, I know. It gets better, though, isn’t what they always say?”
Historia scoffed, laughing at the phrase she heard so often.
“Yeah, sure, it’ll get better once I’m out of this place.”
The other girl watched her carefully, almost unwilling to take her eyes off of her.
“Isn’t it beautiful here, though?”
Historia sighed, marking her place in her book and setting it aside, staring out across the ocean.
“Very. But the people, not so much. And… It just wears down over the years. I kind of envy the tourists.”
Historia turned her head, meeting her gaze.
“They see the outwards perfection, and don’t have to live with the mess it really is. It’s… hard.”
Not wanting to elaborate, she watched the waves lap on the beach, setting sun turning everything gold.
When the other girl spoke, her voice was quiet and hesitant, almost shy.
“What’s your name?”
“Historia. What’s yours?”
Historia and Ymir sat together silently, and then Historia got up, stretched, and turned, offering her hand to Ymir.
“Well, Ymir, do you want me to show you around? I don’t mean the touristy bits. I mean the parts I don’t think anyone else knows.”
Ymir smiled widely, taking her hand and letting Historia pull her up.
“I would love that.”
And she didn’t let go of Historia’s hand, long fingers curling around hers gently.
As the summer went on, days stretching into nights, feeling like they would never end, Ymir grew tanner, freckles on every sun-touched part of her.
Historia made sure to kiss every single one.
Chapter 3: stardust to remember you by // inspired by a song
Inspired by this song... kind of.
Also, maybe, slightly, in the Please Don't Say You Love Me universe. Don't hurt me.
The love Historia and Ymir had for each other ran deep.
For the first month, Historia hung around Ymir timidly, unsure of her place in this new world, and Ymir, well, she pretended to not give a fuck.
She did, though.
Reiner, from a table across the mess hall, called to Historia, him and his friends laughing uproariously.
“Ey, Christa! When you’re done hanging out with that bitch, come sit with us!”
Historia turned to Ymir, eyes wide, and Ymir stared down at her breakfast, trying to stop her cheeks from going red.
She stood up, climbing out from their bench, and Ymir looked at her, guarded emotions suddenly visible. There was fear in her face, and to try and dissuade her, Historia let her hand trail along her back as she walked away, towards the boys.
So Ymir just watched, absent-mindedly guarding her food from Sasha.
A beautiful smile pasted on her face, Historia laid her tray next to Reiner, his mouth open in surprise.
“Aww, sweet, you guys, we get the godd-“
She punched him in the face, his head knocking back into another boy from the force.
The room went dead silent as she returned to her seat next to Ymir.
Ymir leaned into her, whispering a quiet “Thank you” and letting her cheek rest on Historia’s head.
As time went on, Ymir grew to appreciate her even more.
Historia Reiss shone so bright, Ymir didn’t know why she was the first to notice.
How come everyone only saw Christa Renz, the goddess?
How come no one saw the person she really was?
Why was Historia only comfortable enough with her to be herself?
And how someone as absolutely amazing as Historia came to love someone like her, Ymir didn’t know.
“Ymir, you gotta come see this!”
Woken by her excited tone, Ymir looked up to see her bright smile, soft golden hair falling down around her face.
She was so beautiful.
“Yeah, yeah, give me a minute…”
She let Historia tug her out of her nice warm bed, mourning its loss after being exposed to the cool night air. Summer nights were surprisingly cold.
Ymir followed Historia out of the girls’ cabin, closing the door gently after them. She led her around the building to the back, and boosted herself up on some old crates.
“Try not to make too much noise on the roof, alright?”
With that request, Historia flashed a smile back at her, climbing onto the roof and carefully shuffling forward.
Ymir followed hesitantly, being careful as Historia had asked. She caught up, to the point where there was a dip in the roof, a crack in the building. It was directly above Sasha’s bunk, and she complained about it to the point of biting her tongue when it rained.
Ymir thought it was hilarious.
But instead of just a fault piece of roofing, there was a delicate bird’s nest built into and above the crack, three dark green eggs in the center.
“I think, um, I read a lot of books when I was younger, I think it’s a nightingale nest! If they still exist… For the past couple of months I’ve been hearing one sing, and it must have found a mate. Isn’t it cool?”
Ymir looked at Historia, laughing silently at her childish enthusiasm.
“Yeah, it is kinda cool, I guess. How’d you find this?”
“I came up here one night to watch the stars, I couldn’t sleep. They’re really beautiful right now, with all the clouds gone.”
She shifted onto her back, avoiding the nest with a careful grace, and Ymir followed, moving close to her. Historia put her head on Ymir’s shoulder, and they looked up at the stars for a long while in silence.
Or at least, Historia was.
Ymir was looking at Historia, trying to memorize her face with a touch of desperation. When Historia finally turned to say something to Ymir, she didn’t notice.
“Oh- oh my god, I’m sorry-“
Historia laughed, breaking into Ymir’s stuttered apology, and smiled at her thoughtfully.
“Why were you looking at me like that? The stars are so much more beautiful.”
“Stars are always gonna be here, but I can’t say the same about you.”
Chapter 4: pillow fights
So this is more about the girls of the 104th than Ymir and Historia, but I think you can excuse that.
Side hint of Mikasa/Annie because i c a n t help myself.
Mikasa started it.
In an oddly playful mood, she had flung a pillow at Sasha to stop her complaining, and Sasha had bounced up, slamming the pillow into her face. While they hit each other with their respective pillows, Mina snuck up behind Mikasa, hitting her in the back.
She turned around, laughing too hard to say anything, trying to protect herself from both girls. Hannah joined in, and then Christa was pulled into the fray, suddenly noticing Annie at Mikasa’s side, the smallest of smiles on her face.
It was the first time any of them had seen Annie smile.
Christa went to throw her pillow at her, but she ducked, sending it flying into the one girl who hadn’t joined the fight.
They all went dead silent, waiting for her reaction, terrified for Christa.
No one messed with Ymir.
Ymir sat up quickly, staring across the room at Christa. Her blue eyes were wide, and she balanced on her toes, trying to decide if she should run or not.
And then Ymir smiled.
She picked up Christa’s pillow, and flung it at her, accidentally knocking the tiny girl backwards into Mikasa. She slipped out of her bunk, armed with her own pillow, and everyone started hitting each other again, laughing too hard to speak, feathers flying everywhere.
Ymir mouthed a “sorry” to Christa when they passed each other, and Christa grinned, smacking Ymir a second time and ducking away before she could retaliate.
But their fun was ruined when Shadis burst in, shouting about the noise and “how dare you destroy a luxury!!!!! Be glad to even have pillows!!!!”.
They turned their lights out, no one commenting on how Christa and Ymir (and Annie and Mikasa) shared a bunk.
Chapter 5: proposals
Apologies for the lack of explaining. Basically, this is my dream ending.
When the last titan fell, Ymir and Historia finally saw each other again.
It had been years since they had their last moment together, and the ache of being apart had never lessened. They had just learned to deal with the pain.
Historia stood on a roof in the Shinganshina district, standing guard for Eren and the others, finally at his basement. Her blades drawn, covered in steaming blood, she was an intimidating figure.
Ymir didn’t know how she had lived without her.
And then, Historia caught sight of her titan form and screamed. It was a sound of joy, and hope, and Ymir smiled, though it wasn’t attractive, with her sharp-toothed mouth and all.
Historia flew into the air towards her with the most radiant smile Ymir had ever seen. She held out her giant hand, letting Historia land there, trusting Ymir to keep her safe. Closer now, she could see that Historia was crying, blue eyes wide with tears, but her smile never fell.
“Ymir- I- I thought I would never see you again, oh, I missed you so badly, I’m so glad you’re safe-“
Her tears overtaking her speech, Ymir put a gentle finger on her head, mirroring their parting.
She smiled, wiping her eyes with the cuff of her jacket, looking up at Ymir with a hesitant shine in her eyes.
“It’s safe now- can, can I get you out of there? Is that okay?”
Not trusting her unwieldy titan mouth with speech, Ymir nodded, flattening her arm and allowing Historia up to her weak point.
In a blinding flash of pain, Ymir’s titan form fell away from her to collapse on the ground, Historia already whizzing them away with her 3D Gear.
How the fuck was she able to carry her?
Ymir didn’t really know, but hey, she wasn’t complaining.
Historia dropped down onto that same roof, gently setting Ymir against the dilapidated chimney.
“Eren and Mikasa and Armin are in his basement, me and a couple others are waiting for them. I don’t know what’s going on, they’ve been down there for hours. We’ve been instructed to wait until night falls to go in after them.”
Ymir looked at Historia in awed silence.
Where had the tiny blonde girl, the goddess Christa Renz, afraid and insecure, gone?
Because in front of her stood Historia Reiss, confident and sure, and also much taller than she used to be.
Noticing how Ymir was looking her up and down, Historia blushed, hiding her face.
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
“How much did you grow?”
“….Seven inches. I’m taller than Levi now.”
Ymir laughed loudly, imagining how angry he must have been.
Historia knelt beside her, still watching the area carefully, but wanting to be close to Ymir.
“I missed you.”
She turned her head to look at Historia, regret written in the lines of her face.
“I know. I’m so sorry, Historia, I didn’t- I didn’t mean for it to go this far.”
She nodded, taking a deep breath.
“You remember, that day in Trost? When, you know, you asked me to marry you?”
Ymir paused, hearing something in Historia’s tone she didn’t recognize.
“It’s all over now, so, marry me?”
Historia turned to look at her, shy smile on her face, that little fucking piece of hair in her face, and Ymir hated her momentary lack of hands to brush it back with.
So instead she leaned over to kiss her, breathing out an “of course” when they parted. Historia slung an arm around her shoulders, a soft smile on her face.
Chapter 6: valentines day
I am so s o sorry that this is total shit. I just wanted to get it over with so I could work on something more ....satisfying ;)
Ymir tried to get Christa’s locker combination.
She really did.
But the tiny blonde was oblivious.
Christa had really tried to find out what (or who) Ymir liked in a romantic sense.
She really did.
But the tall brunette was oblivious.
Christa stood in front of Ymir’s locker nervously, holding a white teddy bear behind her back, shifting her weight from one foot to another.
Funny, because Ymir was nervously standing in front of her locker in the other hallway, holding a brown teddy bear behind her back, shifting her weight from one foot to another.
Tired of waiting, she texted Christa, wondering where she was.
[Ymir: I’m at your locker, where are you?]
Feeling her phone buzz, Christa read the text and laughed, slipping through the crowd of people to the other hallway.
She saw Ymir in front of her locker, looking around, and sped up, nudging her when she got there. Ymir jumped, startled by her sudden appearance, but shyly smiled down at her.
Christa looked up at her, not understanding what Ymir was trying to be brave enough to do.
They ended up talking over each other.
“Christa, I, I really like you, always have, will you be my girlfriend?”
“Ymir- um, I- like like you, you’ve always been nearby, I- will you go out with me?”
They stared at each other, smiles growing.
The showed each other their present, squealing in delight when she saw that they matched.
Hand in hand, they went to Ymir’s locker and left, content with their new situation.
Chapter 7: salvation/change/learning
Ymir opened her eyes, a physical pain in her chest, finally understanding what heartbreak meant.
I honestly have nothing to say for myself.
Super fucking sad.
Also, a small description of blood, nothing too bad.
Ymir made it back too late.
Too too late.
Choosing to ignore what Ymir had done, for these last moments, Mikasa led Ymir to her, dark eyes solemn.
On first glance, it looked like Historia had accidentally dyed her shirt red.
On second, Ymir realized it was blood.
Choking back a sob, she went to her side, taking Historia’s hand, eyes wide in shock.
Her eyes shot open at the sound of her voice, turning her head to see if her ears were deceiving her.
Ymir forced a smile, drowning in the weight of Historia’s gaze.
She was dying.
And Ymir couldn’t save her. Couldn’t even try.
This wasn’t Castle Utgard all over again.
Their cards were on the table, and now it was time to deal with the aftershocks.
“I’m so glad you’re here.”
Letting the tears fall freely, Ymir nodded, and Historia reached out to brush one of them away, leaving her hand on Ymir’s cheek.
“Why are you crying, my love? It’s okay.”
Gasping for breath, Ymir looked at her, amber eyes full of pain.
“No, it isn’t-“
Historia laughed, pushing Ymir’s hair out of her face.
“Stubborn as usual. Come on, Ymir, don’t you see? Yeah, you had to leave me, and now you’re back and I can’t stay long, but it’s okay.”
She paused with a look of confusion, coughing into her hand. Ymir closed her eyes, hugging herself with her other arm. Historia’s thumb smoothed over her eyelid, tracing her delicate lashes, hazy thoughts about how beautiful Ymir was filling her head.
“You made it worth it, Ymir, you taught me so much, I was able to live my life for myself. I- do you understand how bleak my life was before? I wouldn’t even be alive by this point if not for you.”
Ymir opened her eyes, a physical pain in her chest, finally understanding what heartbreak meant.
Historia saw it, but knew she couldn’t do anything for Ymir.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Ymir, I love you, I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything in my life, you have to know that. You were my salvation and I- I can’t tell you how much you mean to me.
Ymir calmed herself down enough to reply, saying everything she had wanted to for so long.
“Historia- Historia, I love you too, I’m sorry I left, I should have stayed, I didn’t mean for this to happen. Don’t leave me, I love you-“
Historia smiled at her, eyes brimming with tears, but grateful to hear Ymir say it in return.
Crying too hard to speak, Ymir watched the light leave Historia’s eyes.
When Ymir was brought before the military court for betraying humanity, she didn’t care.
It wasn’t like she could plead not guilty.
These people were going to kill her one way or another.
The remaining trainees of the 104th were there, watching silently, mourning their losses. There was an obvious space at the end, next to Sasha, where Historia would have stood.
Before her vision went dark, Ymir glanced over and could have sworn she saw her standing there.
Chapter 8: bonus day: nsfw
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS ISN'T MY WRITING, IT'S MY FRIEND'S! SHE DOESNT HAVE AN AO3 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
blushes furiously even though its not mine
This is a spin-off of a scene from All She Could Be, chapter five, I tried to make it make sense, but if you've read that, you'll understand this.
Two hours later found them in Historia’s spacious kitchen, mixing Nutella in with cake batter. The radio was on in the background, as always, and Historia hummed along as she worked.
Ymir sat on her counter, watching silently. Historia turned away to get something out of a drawer and Ymir leaned over to dip her finger into the jar of Nutella. She waited until Historia was facing her again, and concentrating on the batter.
And then, she put the Nutella on Historia’s nose.
She stopped mixing, staring at Ymir.
“Did you just…?”
Historia gaped at her for a few more seconds, and then, looking unsure, she put Nutella on her fingers and reached out to Ymir.
She was aiming for her nose, but it got all along her cheekbone instead.
Ymir scowled, scooping up more than she should have and smearing it all over her face. Historia shrieked, taking the jar and backing up, throwing some at Ymir. It got on her neck, some sliding into her bra.
Ymir jumped down from the counter, standing there and staring at Historia.
“It’s in my bra.”
Historia’s eyes widened and she sidled over closer to the doorway, watching Ymir closely.
“I- I’m sorry?”
Ymir’s eyes lit up with an idea.
“You have to get it out now.”
Historia’s face flushed, partially with embarrassment, partially with excitement.
“Do it now or I’ll make you.” Ymir smirked
Historia had a sudden burst of courage.
“Take off your shirt and get your ass over here.”
Ymir smiled slowly, taking her shirt off with flair, throwing it somewhere behind her like a stripper.
Historia’s eyes dilated with lust.
“Just gonna stand there or are you gonna suck some Nutella covered titties?” Ymir asked, slowly and seductively walking towards Historia.
Historia bit her lip, Ymir still advancing.
I wish I could bite it for her
Historia kept in an awkward laugh, as Ymir came within reach, setting her boobs up with her crossed arms attempting to make them look bigger.
Ymir was close enough that if Historia just moved her head an inch closer, she could bury her face in Ymir’s fluffy looking boobs.
Ymir watched Historia glance at her pathetic excuses for boobs.
She must think this is a joke, but I want her…badly
Historia had never understood the appeal behind huge boobs. Like seriously, they were just stores of fat over sexualized by a patriarchal society.
Historia had always thought she was the most attractive person she had ever met. Even with her adorably tiny tits.
She decided to risk it.
Historia moved into Ymir, sticking her tongue out and licking the Nutella from the soft, sensitive skin right before her bra began.
Ymir gasped. She hadn’t expected her to actually do it.
Historia wrapped her arms around Ymir’s neck, grazing the sensitive skin, and pulled her down into a deep and passionate kiss.
Ymir picked Historia up by her hips and placed her on the counter. Historia’s hands wandered down Ymir’s back to her bra clasp. She unhooked it and pulled it off of Ymir, pulling back to examine her lover.
Ymir resisted the strong urge to cover herself. She had never been comfortable with her body (there was a reason she wore long sleeves and changed where no one could see her) but now that Historia had seen everything, she was determined to see all of Historia. (WINK WINK FUCKING WINK)
Brilliant. …What do I do now?
Ymir answered that question for her, gently tugging at her shirt, Historia letting her pull it over her head.
It was only fair.
Looking down at her chest, Historia wished she had worn one of her better bras that day.
But it didn’t matter; she was taking it off and dropping it at their feet anyway.
She pressed a kiss to Ymir’s pulse point, inducing a small moan to escape Ymir’s lips.
Historia gently pushed Ymir away. The hurt on her face almost made Historia pull her back for another kiss. Almost.
Instead, she ducked her head, softly taking Ymir’s nipple in her mouth.
A low guttural sound whispered between Ymir’s lips as she stiffened at the blonde’s mouth.
Historia swirled her tongue around the tip, earning another moan. Ymir wound her fingers through the soft hair of her lover.
Historia took this as a sign she was doing well and to go on to the other side.
She did the same thing to that side, receiving more sounds of pleasure from Ymir.
Finally, Ymir had enough teasing. She wanted to taste Historia’s sweet juices on her lips. She pushed Historia on to her back, pulling at her pants at the same time.
“Ymir, wha-“Ymir stopped Historia’s question with a kiss.
“You’ll see soon, my darling.”
She pulled Historia’s pants off completely, along with her virgin panties from Walmart.
Ymir ducked low down between Historia’s legs, spreading them so she had a better view of her girl’s lovely virgin vagina.
Historia blushed deeply and tried not to say anything.
Ymir stuck out her tongue and lightly licked Historia’s clit.
Historia gasped at the sudden pressure, unused to the sensation.
“Ymir, I’ve never done anything, I don’t know what I’m doing,” she blurted out in a rush.
“It’s okay, baby. Here, let’s go to your room. It’ll be easier in there.”
Ymir lifted Historia up off the counter and carried her down the stairs to her room, setting her softly on the bed.
“Lie down on your back and let me work my magic,” Ymir said, winking.
Historia complied, not completely sure what she was in for but knowing it would be fun after the scary beginning.
Ymir spread Historia’s legs again, taking her time in exploring Historia with her eyes.
She flicked her tongue along Historia’s clit again, teasing the younger girl to get her wet.
Historia jumped and arched her back, moaning quietly.
“You like that?” Ymir asked quietly
Historia nodded, “Please go on”
Ymir obeyed almost immediately, ducking back between the pale legs, lust taking over.
She worked her tongue skillfully, exuding moans of pleasure and making Historia clutch at her purple goose down quilt while arching her back.
Ymir made Historia squirt.
She sucked all of her warm juices into her mouth then rose and laid beside the small girl who was now panting.
Ymir kissed her and let Historia taste herself then pulled her close to her chest.
She said quietly, “You know, Historia, I think I love Nutella.”
Historia giggled then they fell asleep, cuddled in each other’s arms.
Chapter 9: bonus day: ymir's birthday
This is literally just a repost of the ficlet here, but it needed to be in this fic too.
Ymir, always the light sleeper, woke immediately, Historia sitting on the end of her bed.
“What is it?”
Historia smiled, easily getting up and going over to her side, kissing Ymir’s forehead.
Ymir woke with a start, gasping for breath, trying to remember where she was.
In the dark, she could see Reiner and Bertholdt curled around each other protectively, and she sighed.
What a fool she was.
Rolling over, Ymir closed her eyes.
If she had done this for Historia, why did she miss her so badly?
Historia sat alone on the rooftop, staring up at the stars with a dark expression.
It was Ymir’s birthday, and she couldn’t do anything for her.
But why would she anyway?
Ymir didn’t need her.
But Historia loved her all the same.