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Dude Looks Like A Lady

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A lone door creaked open in the Men of Letters bunker, echoing down the twisting halls as the sound raged through the occupant’s head. Dean squinted as he shuffled down the hall in his dead man slippers, wrapping his robe around him as he ran into the walls. A shuffling sound in the war room didn’t faze the Hunter one bit, assuming that it was his brother doing research through the night as was becoming habit.

“Man, Sammy needs to sleep more or I’m gonna tranq his ass.” ran through his brain as he barely managed to not trip on the stairs leading into the main room. No sooner had Dean’s bedhead cleared the top of the steps, he froze, spotting a total stranger sitting on the edge of the map table. Well, almost a stranger, for she looked vaguely familiar.

A gun ripped out from its holster under a hall table and the now alert Winchester swept up the steps, not caring how groggy he still looked, just focusing on the intruder.

“Who the hell are you?!”

The woman turned and her bright blue eyes focused in on the gun he had aimed at her forehead

“Dean, you know that won’t work on me. It’s not the Colt.”

The Winchester blinked and squinted slightly, “I said who are you?! And how did you get in here??”

“Dean, it’s me. Castiel. And you changed the warding to let me in, remember? Are you feeling well?”

Dean frowned deeper but straightened up, lowering the gun without relaxing his grip.

“Look lady, I dunno how you got in but you’ve got about 5 minutes to explain yourself before I-”

“Castiel” sighed and stood tall suddenly, her eyes starting to glow with grace as the Bunker’s lights started flickering, giant feathered silhouettes showing on the wall behind her.

Dean paled slightly before slipping the gun back in his waistband,

“Dude, I nearly shot you! And why the hell do you look like a lady, did your vessel self combust again?”

Cas’ lip twitched as she shook her head.

“No, I just needed this woman for an assignment. I forgot to switch back before I got here.
I’ll go if it disturbs you.”

Dean smirked and eyed the new vessel up and down before clearing his throat,

“Um no Cas, this is fine. Just, y’know, let us know when you go so we don’t almost shoot you again.”

Cas sat and let the vessel’s instincts take over, folding her legs primly as she looked up at Dean.

Just as Dean opened his mouth, his big little brother shuffled through the same hallway, running into him, temporarily blind with his hands rubbing the sleep away,

“Woah Dean, there’s literally an entire Bunker to lurk in, why are you just standing… there… Who is that?”

Cas shifted a little, rubbing his neck under the dual scrutiny, “Hello Sam.”

Dean watched his brother’s face, grinning at the confused looks passing over it as his brain woke up to process.

“Dean, why is Cas sitting here looking like a woman?”

The elder Winchester produced a bitch face well past muster for that time of the morning.

“Dammit, how could you tell? I nearly shot him, I thought we were being invaded!”

Sam rolled his eyes and leaned against the table next to Cas

“Who else do we allow in here that doesn’t have to knock? And you only know one person who has a neck rub as their tell. Really, Dean. And he’s currently a she, as she’s in a different body. How does that work anyway, Cas? Another Novak relation?”

The angel nodded, starting to relax a little. “A distant cousin of Jimmy’s, I needed to get close enough to heal someone but that part of the family is very untrusting of men. So I found her. She’s expecting to go home in about an hour, the mission wouldn’t take that long, I just needed to rest from the sigil after they discovered me. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Sam huffed and took off for the kitchen, smacking Dean on the way past, who had been surreptitiously eyeing the female vessel’s chest, fully ignoring the conversation.

Dean jumped and started looking around for excuses, turning red at being caught.

Cas stared benevolently back, not saying a word for the next 20 minutes before standing, scaring Dean into falling backwards, head aimed for the corner of a table.

The angel sped forward, catching the Hunter in a dancer’s dipping pose, neither one noticing just how close they were.

A full moment passed as Dean caught his breath and saw just how he was pressed up against the angel. His cheeks cooled as all body heat flooded southwards below the belt, Dean hoping with all his might that the angel wasn’t in the mood to read minds right now.

“Um, Cas. You can let me go now. I’m ok to fall from this far.”

The woman didn’t speak, staring into Dean’s eyes and flickering down to his lips every once in awhile.

“Dean, this feeling… I’ve never felt it before. It’s--”

Sam’s voice echoed down the hall ahead of him as he was returning, “Dean! Coffee’s on! What are you two doing in there?”

Dean was stunned into silence as a firm kiss was pressed to his lips before he was set down carefully, followed by a resulting wind as the angel vanished up the stairs and out the door, almost as if she had her wings back.

The frozen Winchester didn’t even acknowledge his brother’s presence until a hand shook his shoulder.

“Hey Dean, why are you on the ground, did you fall? Are you ok?”

Green eyes flicked up to meet hazel eyes, finally focusing a little more as he took the offered hand up.

“Uh… no Sammy, I actually tripped on my boots and Cas saved me from bashing my head in. No big deal.”

Sam looked around the floor, seeing no sign of the boots but spying a small smudge of lipstick on his brother’s lips as he straightened his robe again, heading towards the bathrooms.

“If you say so Dean…”

 

 

 

Epilogue:

 

Two days later, Castiel arrived back at the Bunker wearing his male vessel, crooked tie and ever faithful trench coat.

Dean was cooking lunch when Cas strode into the kitchen, not even paying attention to Sam who was sitting at the table with a large book propped up in his lap.

To this day, the elder Winchester would deny that he let out an unmanly squeak as the angel of the Lord grabbed him by the waist, dipped him as before and laid another kiss on him.

Sam, however, knew it was the perfect opportunity for blackmail, so he had whipped out his phone and started silently snapping pictures.

Some would say the internet broke a month later when the next installment of the Winchester Gospels were put up online and the Supernatural fangirls all had a collective heart attack.