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When I'm No Longer Young And Beautiful

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Eren is eight years old when he first meets Levi – the stern-faced twenty-seven year old teacher who lives a few doors down from the Jaeger family. Carla and Grisha are going out of town for an international Doctor’s convention and it has clearly fallen to Levi to babysit Eren for the night.

When they leave with a brief “call us if you need anything,” Eren is left standing on his own on Levi’s doorstep – so nervous that he’s trembling slightly. Levi beckons him inside.

“Go put your backpack on the kitchen table.” He orders, and Eren thinks to himself that he’s glad Levi isn’t his teacher at school. Levi’s voice is harsh like a whip-crack and leaves no room for arguments. Eren would pick Miss Ral over him anytime. Once his things are on the table, Eren stands next to it – his shoulders only just reaching the edge of the countertop and Levi towering over him. Eren notices Levi’s eyes roving over his small frame and feels his skin prickling in the wake of the gaze.

Levi’s arms are crossed over his chest.

“You are a pretty one, aren’t you?”

It was clear that Eren wasn’t supposed to answer, so he kept his mouth shut – not quite understanding why his heart was beating so fast. No one had ever called him pretty before. Levi’s gaze moves lower, over his torso and legs.

“Lots of friends at school?”

Eren shakes his head ‘no.’ Sure, he talked to Marco or Reiner sometimes, but Armin was his only real friend. Levi seems surprised.

“Is that so? Pretty thing like you…”

Eren somehow finds enough confidence to speak, his voice somewhat unsteady.

“Pretty is a word to call girls. I’m not a girl.”

The corners of Levi’s lips quirk upwards and Eren feels a surge of elation course through his stomach. He made Levi smile. It seems like a true accomplishment. Levi lets out a breathy chuckle and Eren’s heart skips a beat.

“No, ‘pretty’ is a word used only for very special people.”

‘Special?’ Eren has never been called ‘special’ before. Eren is the boy who gets in trouble for fighting with Jean and gets mediocre grades on tests. He doesn’t have the face of an angel like Christa; he isn’t super smart like Armin or super nice like Marco. He’s just Eren. He frowns slightly,

“I’m not special.”

Not even his parents pay him much attention at home – he always finds himself thinking that his Dad wished he was more intelligent like Armin.

Levi steps forward and ruffles Eren’s hair – a gesture that Eren has seen other people’s Dads do, but never his own.

“Of course you’re special, Eren.” Eren can’t help but let a blissful, relieved smile spread over his face. “And you have very pretty eyes.” Levi continues.

Eren likes Levi.

The rest of the afternoon, Eren snuggles into Levi’s lap, watching the TV programmes that his own parents never let him watch. One of Levi’s arms is draped around his stomach and the other is holding a book. They sit in silence until Eren curls into Levi’s chest and falls asleep.

Eren feels a pang of sadness when his parents come to collect him the next day.

  

Eren is ten when his parents adopt Mikasa, who quickly turns out to be everything they ever wanted in a child. Everything Eren wasn’t.

Cool, calm, collected, intelligent, excelling in all areas. The perfect daughter.

Eren finds himself even more neglected at home, both his father and mother doting on Mikasa all the time. He couldn’t help but resent Mikasa for coming in and stealing what little of his parent’s attention he had, and he takes to wandering around the area or hanging out at Armin’s house.

One day, Armin is sick with the flu and his grandfather tells Eren that he can’t come over to play today and Eren is left on his own, wondering what to do.

He walks by Levi’s house on the way home and before he knows it, his legs are automatically marching up the pathway and his trembling fingers are already ringing the doorbell.

Levi opens the door a few seconds later and looks surprised to see Eren there.

“Did your parents send you?” He asks, and Eren nods quickly. He can tell that Levi doesn't quite believe him – after all, his parents would usually call first, but it doesn’t seem like he much cares.

The rest of the day is spent on Levi’s lap watching cartoons as Levi absentmindedly strokes his hairless legs, commenting on how nice and soft they are. It tickles, but Eren finds himself liking the attention. Levi vaguely mentions that he wishes that Eren would never get older, or grow any hair on his legs as it would make him less pretty. Levi likes him just the way he is.

Levi is the first adult to ever say anything like that to him. Everyone usually tells him to hurry up and grow up, or be more like this, or be more like that. Eren feels warm and safe with Levi, and this becomes a daily occurrence. Eren would go to Levi’s house after school and help him with dinner, or Levi would help him with his homework – and then in the evening they would curl up on the sofa together, Levi petting Eren. Sometimes his hand would make its way up Eren’s shirt to splay across the soft skin there, and Eren would feel his heart beat speed up and his face grow hot. He really liked the attention Levi gave to him.

One day, Carla asks Eren where he goes every day – but she seems relieved when he says he’s only at Levi’s house. Eren is surprised that his parents even notice when he’s gone. He wishes he could just live with Levi.

  

Levi starts kissing Eren when he turns twelve. It begins with soft presses of his lips to the top of Eren’s head while Eren is on his lap watching TV, and then to small kisses when Eren first arrives or leaves. Eren is old enough to know what kissing is; his parents do it, older kids at school do it. He’s twelve, not three – he knows that it’s something you did with someone you love. He loves Levi, and he wanted him to kiss him more. The warm feeling when Levi ghosts their lips together before he goes home is enough to keep butterflies fluttering in his stomach and his cheeks warm and pink all the way back to his room.

The first time Levi gently licks at Eren’s lips during their couch snuggle-session, Eren lets out a surprised squeak. Levi takes this as an invitation into his mouth, and Eren has never felt his head in such a haze. His heart is hammering in his chest; his mind feels fuzzy and cloudy. Eren grips onto the front of Levi’s shirt, holding on for purchase as the older man plunders his small mouth.

Later, when Eren is getting ready to go home, Levi murmurs in a low voice that makes the hairs on the back of Eren’s neck stand up in excitement.

“You won’t do this with anyone else, will you?”

Eren shakes his head.

“No, Sir.” Of course he wouldn’t. Levi smiles, softly – and Eren knows that it’s a smile only for him. Just like Eren’s mouth was only for Levi.

“And you won’t tell anyone, will you?”

Eren shakes his head again.

“Of course not, Sir.”

Levi kisses him chastely on the lips and Eren positively beams.

 

Eren finds light, downy hair growing on his legs that summer and he immediately panics and shaves it off carefully with his mother’s razor. Levi likes stroking his legs; Levi likes Eren young and hairless. Eren doesn’t want to grow up.

 

Kisses with Levi get deeper and deeper, and last for longer and longer. Eren is thirteen now, and is acutely aware that the molten feeling that spikes through him when Levi runs his hands over his body is arousal. He is also aware that what they’re doing is illegal. But Eren trusts Levi. Levi is older, more mature, and more intelligent – Levi is a teacher. Levi would never hurt him. Levi loves him more than his own parents love him – and Eren would do anything for him.

Levi’s hand cups Eren’s behind and Eren lets out a breathy moan into Levi’s hot, wet mouth and squirms in his lap. Soon Eren is going to be too big for this, and he knows that Levi is dreading that day too. Eren never realised how short Levi was for an adult until he got his growth spurt – and panic bubbles up in his chest whenever he gets measured and sees that he’s grown another inch.

Levi won’t like him when he’s big.

Levi breaks the kiss, smirking at Eren’s flushed face and desperate pants.

“Oh, Eren, you make me want to do things to you that you might not be old enough for.”

Eren is thirteen years old, he knows what sex is, he knows that Levi is rock hard underneath him, and he knows that he just wants to feel it.

“I’m old enough.” He gasps, his breath mingling in the small space between them.

Levi arches an eyebrow at him.

“I don’t know whether that makes me happy or not. A part of me doesn’t want to you be old enough – I want you young, pretty and innocent forever.”

Eren furrows his eyebrows, his heart beating panic in his chest. He was going to grow up - there was nothing he could do to stop that. And he hates it.

“Okay, then I’m not old enough.” He replies, his voice coming out breathy and teasing.

Levi lets out a short bark of laughter, leaning forward to rest their foreheads together.

“Eren, when did you get so cheeky?”

Eren merely smiles as innocently as possible (he knows Levi loves it when he does that) and carefully presses their bodies together – trying to feel all of Levi at once. The low groan that leaves Levi’s lips is the most beautiful sound Eren has ever heard.

Levi holds Eren’s small hips with a firm grip and grinds them into his own until flames of scorching hot pleasure lick at Eren’s whole being. He knows he’s flushed and panting, but the way Levi is looking at him like he’s the most precious thing on the planet has him melting.

“Such filthy noises coming from such a pretty mouth.”

Eren doesn’t ever want this to end.

“You are mine, aren’t you Eren?”

“Yes, yes, oh god, yes"

His whole body is on fire, he's whimpering and writhing and he knows he truly belongs to Levi when his hips stutter, his muscles convulse and he comes in his pants with a desperate cry.

 

Eren changes for gym in a bathroom stall, because he knows Levi wouldn’t want him showing his body to anyone else.

 

He turns fourteen, starts plucking any facial hairs that peek through onto his chin and shaves his legs, arms and armpits regularly.

Eren starts to notice that Levi gazes with displeasure at the slowly defining muscles on his chest, and now that Eren has grown a little bit more – they are directly the same height.

Levi grumbles about it so much that Eren wants to cry. It’s not his fault he’s growing – it’s a natural human thing. He doesn’t want to grow, he doesn’t want to disappoint Levi; he especially doesn’t want Levi to stop thinking that he’s pretty.

That evening, Eren wraps his hands and then his lips around Levi for the first time, and feels an overwhelming sense of accomplishment when Levi paints the inside of his mouth, claiming him as his own a million times over.

 

Eren is fifteen, Levi is thirty-four, and Eren has moved up to Levi’s class in high-school.

Levi had been in France for the whole of the summer, hosting a camping trip for the senior French class – and Eren had pined for him every day. On the first day of school, Eren had made sure that his face and body were hairless, that he was wearing larger clothes to hide his rapidly filling out form and he’d practiced his innocent, wide-eyed look a hundred times in front of the mirror before he’d left.

Eren feels his stomach drop when he realises that he’s taller than Levi now, and he can see Levi’s eyes narrowing behind his glasses.

They don’t say a word to each other as Eren takes his seat, and Eren finds himself fighting desperately with a throbbing erection throughout the whole class as he watched Levi command everyone in that strict voice, looking at them with steely eyes as if they were dirt on the bottom of his shoe. Eren has barely seen this side of him before; and its hot.

Levi keeps him behind after school ends, making sure there are no other teachers in the vicinity and sticking a sheet of paper over the small window in the classroom door so no one can peak in.

The door is locked.

“You grew up.”

It was an accusation, and Eren bows his head, trying to make himself smaller.

 “You’re getting uglier by the year.”

The words cut into him like a knife to the heart and Eren feels burning tears well up in his eyes. A single drop bubbles over and rolls down his cheek as Levi regards him coldly.

“I’m sorry…” He whispers.

A cool hand comes up to cup Eren’s cheek – still slightly rounded from childhood, but his jaw line rapidly becoming more defined. Levi’s thumb swipes at the tear track as his other hand expertly undoes his belt.

“Let’s see if I can make you pretty again.”

 

Eren's heart soars when Levi finds him beautiful again with cum dripping down his face.

“Oh, you are so very special, Eren.”