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Love at First Waddle

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 i logg intoo my favourite site. For paingwen intercourse. Of the sexxxxual kind ;)

jk last tiime i tryed dat my accunt goes SUSBPENDED. for 69 days. u know wut dat means, randoim a03 reader? NO PENGUWIENIE FOUR ME WIENIE!!!!

okay back to my story.

so der I wuz, makin sad faces in da corner of da nite cloob. dat wear I naughty penguiine ;) i alwooys pik up hawt anime babes frum my naughty corner in da noot club.

toonight der is a provacvative pengoown named LeviButtHawks69. i make extruh frantick sad faces att him.

my m8ing dance WERKS!!!! he waddless over.

"hey, u flap ur flippers real good, kid," he types, not a singal type-o blood. wow. nice. ;)

"tanks, boy or girl?"

"wut u lookin for babe?"

"boy ;)"

"u got it. i'll bee ur boi. u a giurl then?"

"no/"

":("

":)"

"ok, well..." LeviButtHawks69 begun to wattle away.

i is desperoote tonite, so... well, dooty calls if u no wut I'm sayin...

"cum to my iggie, LeviButtHawk69. i have puffles."

He disappeared. wow no one has everr tryed so harrd to get n my penguin pantss b4/

i go to the pizzeria to pikk up sum pizza. "waiter." i wait. "waiter." still waiting. "WAITER, I NEED A PIZZA IMMMEMDIATELY IM TRYING TO PENGWOON AND CHILL>"

my waiter cums. oh shit it'sw LEviButtHawk69.

"i thought u sed cum to ur iggie so i came 2 da pizza place."

how FUCKINGING ROMANTDICK!

"u kinow me soo well, butthawk."

"thx, wunt a pizza?"

i really wanted his pengowwoon peenus but my little sister mookasa is watchinggg mee plaoy so i'll hav to b subtle.

"no, levi butthwak, i realy wunt sum of ur... speshal sauce/"

"i thinnk i understand, eren."

wow he nose mi name alreddy, tru luv hits u hard. in the dick. my dikk hass ben hit. hard. in the dikk. very... luv. dickk.

suuudenly this wasn't a club penguin AU anymore cxuz its hard too rite something so CANON.

 

***

 

i walk and run into som3one. wow it is levibutthawk69... in the flesh!

"hey, still waddleing around & makin \knew frends on CP?" he asks.

"noo those days are pasttt me." mostely cuz my mom fouund out i'd ben sendin pengNoods to hawt anime babes, butt ya.

"oh. u still wunt that pengDIKK eren? my... specshail sauce?"

Eren i mean me thought abbbout it.

"uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......"

i had  a sudeen flash of thoughght.

"wil it make me m-preggeged?"

"no eren that's gay."

eren was disappointed. he always wunted to hatch a healthy baby pengchild frum his manhole.

"pls."

"no."

"pls."

"ok."

theyy may hav been on the bizzy sttreats, but dat didn't stop levi from deliveringgg his special man sause into eren's naughty man cheeks.

wow i think I'm mpregarant now, i thought to myself.

THEN i wuz goin n-2 labour. jk it was labor because I'm not a british personne no offence but i just don't fancy tea all dat much, ya dig?

speakinggg of digging, levvi built a nest for are babie hatchiling. i ddidn't no dis when we 1st met on CP, butt he iz acutuallyl an BALD EAGLER!!!!! cuz he exersisses his manly mussles so much. look it up if u do nUt belleeeve me, it is tru facks.

"fuck."

dat was da sound of my babee hatclhling cumming out ov ma greazy butt whole anD CRAKKING ON DA GROUUND, OH SHIET.

luckily da yoolkk wuz in tact soo we culde make SONNYSIDEUP eggz. yum!

i make a heaarat emoji atte my luv, levi butthawk 69 ackermoan.

he makess a screetch noise and flys awaaayay.

i smile.

not cuz i happy.

not cuz egg tastes yum.

not cuz mi greazy man butt hole hatched egg.

butt cuz i know, in my heart, dat one day he flie bakk and peck my man cnheek with hiz specialal sause 1 more timeme and gimme more sunny side up egg breakafasats.

yum.

oh ya and i tell my dad and he laugh cuz HIS CP USERNAME IS LEVIBUTTHAWK69 AND HEE IS EEGLE AND HE IS BABBY DADDZYY...

...

...

...

i guesz it wuz a insest fic afterall.