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You are worthy

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Magnus woke up when he felt wetness on his cheek, he blinked his eyes open to see Chairman Meow standing on his chest staring at him. He meowed softly and Magnus sighed. Over the time they had got the cat, both Magnus and Alec had come to realise that the Chairman was a very needy cat. Magnus turned to look at Alec and found him still fast asleep. He looked so peaceful when he slept and Magnus absolutely loved listening to Alec’s gentle soft snores. They were absolutely adorable, not that Alec would think so. Magnus chuckled as he remembered the time he had brought up the fact that Alec snored to Alec. The other male had been very offended by the Magnus’s accusation.

The Chairman meowed again and Magnus sighed once again and slid out of bed, whilst holding the cat. He quietly snuck out of the bedroom, not wanting to wake Alec up. Last night had been pretty emotional for the both of them, and he knew that the alpha was exhausted.

He took the cat food out of the cupboard and poured it into the Chairman’s bowl. The cat immediately jumped from Magnus’s arms and ran to his bowl to eat his food. Magnus shook his head fondly before deciding to make breakfast. He had just flicked the button on the coffee machine, to turn it on, when a book on the breakfast bar caught his eye.

He walked towards it and saw it was one of Alec’s. The one thing Magnus hated about himself was that he couldn’t read or write. In English. When he was a kid, he had attended school, before being taken by Valentine, he learned how to read and write but that was in Indonesian.

And after being taken by Valentine, he was forced to learn how to speak English because his masters spoke it. But he never got the chance to learn how to read it, or to write it. He suddenly felt very stupid as he tried and failed to read the title of the book. He scrunched his eyebrows in concentration as he tried again to read the first word.

As he was trying to read the title, he didn’t hear the footsteps coming towards the kitchen until he felt arms wrap around him from behind. He let out a startled noise but soon relaxed into Alec’s chest. Alec hummed and snuggled into his neck and giving the skin, where he had bitten him, a small kiss making Magnus smile. “Morning.” The alpha murmured, his lips still pressed against Magnus’s skin. Magnus shivered as the feeling of Alec kissing his skin felt so good. “Morning.” Magnus replied. He turned his head to the side, giving Alec more neck space to nuzzled into. Alec smiled against his skin and kissed his pulse point in gratitude at the small gesture. “Whatcha doing?” Alec asked, looking down at the book in Magnus’s hands.

Magnus’s small smile disappeared and Alec felt his back stiffen. “N – nothing.” The omega stammered out and Alec frowned at Magnus’s reaction. He pulled away from Magnus and turned him around. “What’s wrong?” Alec asked, his eyebrows twisting in concern. Magnus felt embarrassment settle into his stomach at the thought of telling Alec that he couldn’t read, or write for that matter. He looked down at his hands and nervously started to scrape the nail polish that Izzy had painted on for yesterday’s date off. “Magnus, you know you can tell me anything.” Alec whispered out. And Magnus nodded his head, albeit hesitantly.

Rationally he knew that his embarrassment was stupid. He knew Alec wouldn’t laugh at him or make fun of him, but he couldn’t shut out that small annoying voice inside his head that told him that he was pathetic for not being educated in the English language. Alec placed his index finder under Magnus’s chin and gently pushed his head up, and as Magnus’s eyes met Alec’s he saw only kindness and concern in the alpha’s irises and Magnus nodded again. Deciding to tell Alec. He closed his eyes and sighed before he whispered, “I can’t read… Or write, English.”

Alec gently ran his hand down Magnus’s arm and linked their fingers together. “You know that’s nothing to be ashamed of right?” Alec asked gently and Magnus opened his eyes in surprise. “Shall I teach you?” Alec continued and Magnus’s eyes widened and before he knew it, he was nodding.
“Yes!” He practically yelled and Alec chuckled. Magnus grinned at Alec before putting his arms around Alec’s neck and leaning in to smash his lips with Alec’s. Alec let out a surprised grunt but kissed back with the same amount of enthusiasm. He wrapped Magnus around in his arms, and the omega sighed into the kiss. Kissing Alec was always the best feeling in the world. Alec’s kisses made everything around them hazy and the only thing Magnus could focus on was Alec.

As Alec’s tongue delved deeper into Magnus’s mouth, Magnus knew that Alec was the person he was supposed to kiss for the rest of his life. And as he realised this, he suddenly felt an urge to cry but to laugh at the same time because he felt so damn lucky that Alec had found him, that Alec had saved him, that Alec had made him his. He smiled into the kiss because Alec made him feel so wanted. A feeling he had never had the luxury of knowing what it felt like. A feeling he always thought he would never know what it felt like. And yet here he was kissing his mate. His soulmate.

Magnus giggled into Alec’s mouth and Alec pulled away and raised his eyebrows in question at Magnus’s sudden laughter. “What’s so funny?” Alec asked, smiling back at his omega. Magnus just giggled some more and stroked away the strand of hair that had fallen in front of Alec’s left eye. “Nothing… I just… I’m happy.” Magnus replied and Alec’s smile grew as he leaned forward to rest his forehead against Magnus’s and nuzzled their noses together. “Well… Happiness looks beautiful on you.” He replied, gazing into Magnus’s eyes, causing Magnus’s heart to summersault inside his chest.

***
Things started out slow, but Alec soon realised Magnus was a fast learner. Everyday, Alec would return home from work and he would teach Magnus in reading and writing English. Alec first made him memorise all the alphabet, which didn’t take more than a day. Magnus would practice how to write the letters and how to read them and soon enough they were moving onto pronouncing words and spelling them correctly.

Approximately a month had passed and Magnus had learned how to read and write all together. He was currently reading a few sentences out to Alec from one of Alec’s books, albeit slowly and hesitantly as he still was getting used to it all. Magnus had also learnt that Alec was a very patient person. Every time Magnus would get a word wrong or forget how to spell, Alec would just kiss him on the forehead and whisper “try again” to him. And every time Alec did so, Magnus’s heart decided to thump a little harder. He had never realised, before he met Alec, that he was touch starved or that he craved affection.

Magnus was curled up against Alec’s chest and a book on his lap. Alec’s arms were around his shoulders and his hand gently played with the hair on the nape of Magnus’s neck. “Three days later, the rain began,” Magnus read out the lines from the book; Looking for Alaska. “My head still hurt, and – Alec why are you staring at me?” Magnus stopped reading and turned his head to look at Alec, whose cheeks and the tip of his ears burned bright pink from being caught. “I was just… just admiring you.” Alec mumbled and Magnus giggled.

“Also, I wanted to tell you that… I am very proud of you and the progress that you have made.” Alec stated, his eyes burning into Magnus’s and Magnus’s heart, once again, jumped to life upon hearing Alec’s words. “Th – thank you.” The omega stuttered out and this time it was Alec’s turn to laugh.

However, they were interrupted by Alec’s phone ringing and Alec sighed and rolled his eyes, before pulling away from Magnus and answering the call. “Hey Jace.” Alec said into the phone. Magnus smiled a small smile at Alec’s reaction and returned back to reading his book, this time reading quietly.
“Hey. Alec so about the self defence classes. I have space in my class, starting next Tuesday. Is that okay?” Jace’s voice replied.

Jace was a self defence instructor and after Magnus had told him that he wanted to learn how to defend himself and fight, he had had a chat with Jace. “One sec.” Alec replied. He took the phone away from his ear and covered it then turned to look at Magnus. “Jace says that he has space for you in his self defence class. Next Tuesday.” Alec said to Magnus, who looked away from his book and perked up. “Really?” He exclaimed and Alec chuckled and nodded.
“Next Tuesday is okay for you?” Alec checked even though he knew the answer. Magnus nodded and Alec smiled before putting his phone back to his ear. “Yeah next Tuesday is fine.” Alec confirmed.

After talking for a few more minutes, they ended the call and Magnus snuggled up against Alec again. He nuzzled into Alec’s neck and sighed after letting Alec’s scent surround him. Alec’s hands started to play with Magnus’s hair again and Magnus smiled at how safe he felt. The Chairman jumped onto Magnus’s lap and snuggled against his stomach, purring and making Magnus chuckle. He turned his head and looked at Alec, who had his head resting against the back of the sofa, eyes closed. “How are you so patient?” Magnus asked. Alec moved his head and looked down at him.
“What do you mean?” He asked. Magnus ran his index finger along Alec’s chest, drawing small patterns and making Alec shiver. “Like… when you were teaching me and I got something wrong you… you didn’t get annoyed. You were so patient with me.” Magnus explained.

Alec moved his head back to rest on the back of the sofa and looking up at the ceiling and staying silent. Magnus was almost worried he had said something wrong when Alec didn’t reply straight away, and he was about to open his mouth to apologise when Alec spoke. “I had… have a little brother… Max.” His was voice thick with emotion and Alec’s voice broke when he said his brother’s name. Magnus’s face turned to confusion but didn’t say anything. “When he was younger, my parents were nearly always working so Izzy and I had to take care of him. I was there when he spoke his first words, when he took his first steps. When he first had his nightmares. I was there to teach him all the basics for school so he will be smarter than all the other kids when he starts school.” Alec continued and Magnus nodded, finally understanding. “I guess that’s why I am so… patient as you say. I practically raised Max…and Izzy. And later when my parents adopted Jace. Patience came with dealing with their shenanigans.” Magnus smiled a small smile at Alec’s choice of word.

Alec was still staring up at the ceiling, Magnus took his hand and intertwined their fingers. “What happened to Max?” Magnus hesitantly asked, somehow knowing he wouldn’t like the answer. Alec looked away from the ceiling and down at their interlaced hands. “When I came out to my parents, they… they didn’t take it well.” Alec started and Magnus nodded because Alec had told him this part before. “After they realised that I wasn’t their perfect son, they moved away to England and… they took Max with them. They forbade me to see Max… said that I will only corrupt him.” Tears traveled down Alec’s cheeks and Magnus gently wiped them away. “I haven’t seen him, in five years.” Alec whispered out and Magnus's heart broke at hearing Alec's story and felt a rush of anger towards his parents. He moved forward and brought him closer, embracing him in a hug.

Alec wasn’t a cryer. Especially in front of other people. But with Magnus, he couldn’t keep his guard up anymore and let his walls fall as he fell into Magnus’s arms, he cried his heart out for the first time in years. Magnus held him through it all, hugging him tightly and not letting go. Alec nuzzled into Magnus’s neck and his omega’s scent immediately wrapped around him. Taking all of him in holding him in a bear hug. His scent caressed Alec, made Alec feel safe and protected as the scenting didn’t just work one way. The omega’s scent worked to soothe the alpha down too.

Magnus held Alec, softly playing with the alpha’s hair, until Alec’s sobs turned into small sniffs. Alec didn’t know how Magnus just made him want to tell everything about himself to. He was the kind of person Alec wanted to stay awake and tell his deepest secrets, and his darkest fears to. He was the kind of person who he wanted to cook breakfast with and lay out under the stars whilst telling stories of the past. Magnus just felt like home. The word was so simple and yet, if placed in the right concept it became so much more. There was no other way to describe how Magnus felt to Alec. 

Before Magnus he had always thought home was a place. And while that was true, physically, he knew that Magnus was the home for his heart

They had known each other for 6 months now, and yet it felt like Alec had know Magnus for much longer. Like as if they had known each other all their lives. Alec felt strange to let his guard down, partly because alpha’s were seen as the stronger, and less emotional being as people all around him liked to remind him whilst growing up. So he never let his guard down before because of the fear of people mocking him. But also because, before Magnus, no one was there. No body was there to wipe his tears or the whispers sweet nothings into his ear. No one was there to make him laugh when he cried, or to play with his hair and soothe him into falling asleep. Before Magnus, he had never known how much he wanted, how much he needed, these small acts of comfort. 

“What are you thinking about?” Magnus asked, breaking Alec out of his thoughts. Alec had calmed down now and they just sat there, in comfortable silence. Alec still had his head buried in the crook of Magnus’s neck, the omega’s arms around him. “I’m thinking about how much happiness you have brought me since I met you. And... I don't know how I survived before meeting you.” Alec replied, moving away from Magnus’s neck and looking his omega in the eye. Magnus blushed and looked down at his hands, and Alec could see a small smile on his lips. “I feel… the same way.” Magnus whispered and Alec leaned down and pecked him on his lips. The kiss was chaste and quick, but amazing nonetheless. 

The kiss was more of a promise. Something that sealed the fact that they were there for each other. Something that promised more to come in the future. 

*** 

The following week, Alec drove Magnus to Jace’s studio where Magnus would be learning how to defend himself. “Want me to come inside?” Alec asked as they arrived at the place. Magnus shook his head because he had to learn to do things independently. “You sure?” Alec double checked and Magnus smiled and nodded. “I’m sure.” He replied.
“Okay well… You be careful okay? I mean try to not pull a muscle or something.” Alec rambled and Magnus bit back a laugh. “Okay… mom.” Magnus replied and Alec rolled his eyes but blushed as he realised how much of a mother hen he was being. Magnus smiled at Alec before kissing him goodbye and walking into the studio.

He felt a jolt of nervousness mixed with excitement run through him. Jace had mentioned that there were going to be other people in the class and Magnus hoped he would make a friend. He felt like he was a child again and attending his first day at school.

He followed the sound of the music coming from one of the rooms inside the buildings and spotted Jace standing outside a door. He was talking to a woman, Magnus didn’t recognise. “Magnus!” Jace exclaimed when he saw the omega approach him. Magnus waved at him, albeit nervously. He walked closer and the woman stood next to Jace smiled at him. “Magnus this is Aline. She leads the class next to mine. Aline this is Magnus my brothers mate.” Jace introduced the two and Magnus smiled and nodded in hello. Feeling a little wary about meeting new people. “Nice to meet you.” Aline spoke up.
“Likewise.” Magnus replied. After a few more minutes of small talk, Aline left them to go start her session and Jace led Magnus inside a room where people were starting to fill up.

Magnus positioned himself in the second row, not wanting to be right at the front but also not wanting to be in the back. Everyone soon got into position and Jace started off to do the stretches I’m order to not pull any muscles.

Soon they were into it and Magnus realised he was actually enjoying himself. He copied the position Jace showed and placed his arms, wrist facing upwards, in front of his face in a block. Jace continued to show different positions used to defend oneself and soon enough Magnus felt himself getting the hang of everything.

As he practiced, punching the air in front of him, he felt himself relax and he felt himself letting go of the fear that had gathered up in his mind after Johnathon had visited. He felt himself smile because learning how to defend himself felt so... liberating, a feeling he had never felt before. So it felt strange, albeit exciting.  

They were half way into the session when Jace announced to pair up with someone, as they were going to practice the techniques on another person. Magnus felt himself freeze, he didn’t know anyone else here except Jace. He looked around and saw everyone chatting to others and easily pairing up. Magnus didn’t know how they did it. Even as a child, when he attended school he would always have a minor panic attack when it came to picking partners for school projects. He always had this voice in his mind that no body would want to partner with him. He was too caught up in his head he didn’t see a woman approaching him. “Hi.” She greeted with a friendly smile plastered on her face. Magnus flinched out of his thoughts and looked at the woman. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” She apologised and Magnus shook his head.
“No I was just deep in thought.” Magnus smiled shyly at her. The woman smiled back and extended her hand. “I am Catarina Loss. But everyone calls me Cat.” She said and Magnus found himself liking her personality. She seemed bubbly and genuinely nice. Magnus shook her hand and smiled wider. “I’m Magnus Bane.”
“So Magnus. Would you like to be my partner in this?” Cat asked, pointing to everyone around them already practicing. Magnus raised his eyebrows in surprise. Some one wanted to partner with him. He found himself nodding and watched as Cat grinned.

They found out that they got along great. Cat was a fierce woman who had a strong sense of justice. Magnus found her extremely funny and realised he really liked her and smiled at the realisation that he had made a friend. After the session, Cat led him to the buildings café where they sat and told each other about themselves. Magnus learned that Cat was a nurse and she had a passion for helping others. He loved how her eyes lit up talking about her career and it made Magnus yearn to have what she had. Not that he wanted to be a doctor, but he wanted to do something in his life that he could be proud of.

Magnus in exchange told Cat about how he was from Indonesia and about Alec being his mate. He didn’t tell her everything, leaving out the bits that included slaving for Valentine and Johnathon and he could see Cat knew he was leaving giant parts of his past out but Cat only smiled as she didn’t want to push him to talk, after all they had only just met. Magnus was very grateful and soon their conversation drifted to other, mundane, things.

They were interrupted by Cat’s phone ringing and when she saw the caller ID, she rolled her eyes fondly before picking up the phone. “Hey Ragnor.” She greeted and smiled at Magnus. Magnus smiled back and wondered who Ragnor was. He couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation but he saw how Cat’s expressions changed because of what ever Ragnor was saying on the other end of the phone. “Why don’t you come here? Get away from Raphael if you’re so annoyed with him.” Cat sighed before speaking into the phone. Magnus saw Cat nodding before saying a goodbye and hanging up. “Sorry, that was just my friend Ragnor. He is such a drama queen.” Cat said, rolling her eyes and smiling. Magnus smiled back and shook his head. “No need to apologise.”

After a few minutes, Cat’s eyes lit up as she looked at some one behind Magnus. Magnus turned and saw a man who looked in his mid thirties, wearing a grumpy look on his face and walking towards them. “That’s Ragnor.” Cat said and Magnus nodded, feeling nervous as the man got closer.

“Hey Cat,” He greeted and kissed her on the cheek before noticing Magnus. “And who is this?” He asked, smiling kindly. Magnus hesitantly smiled back. “I’m Magnus Bane.” Magnus replied and Ragnor nodded. “Pleased to meet you Magnus. I’m Ragnor Fell. Cat’s oldest and best friend.” He replied and Cat rolled her eyes. “Don’t forget most annoying.” She said and Ragnor feigned offence. “You find me annoying?” He asked, placing his hand over his heart and Magnus chuckled upon watching the scene. “Yes. I do. You’re the one who decided to skip today’s session and go out with Raphael. Then… when you start one of your petty arguments you come running back to me.” Cat said and Ragnor huffed.

“Do you want to know what he said this time?” He asked.
“Not really.” Cat replied, but Ragnor carried on as if he didn’t hear her.
“He said that my love for Shakespeare is stupid. And after I told him why Shakespeare is simply the best play writer ever to have existed. He laughed at me and rolled his eyes at me. You know how I feel when people roll their eyes at me!” Cat sighed, that showed Magnus that she was used to this. “How about I buy you drink?” Cat asked, in order to shut him up. Ragnor perked up.
“They sell alcohol here? Man if I knew that before I would have never gone with Raphael.” Ragnor replied and Cat rolled her eyes. “Soft drinks. Idiot.” Cat corrected and Ragnor frowned.
“Hmm I guess that will have to do,” he settled and Cat smiled and walked off, leaving Magnus standing alone with Ragnor.

Magnus was about to speak up and and talk to Ragnor, when he heard his name being called. He turned around and saw Alec coming towards him. Magnus felt his heart stutter at the sight of his alpha and he couldn’t help the smile being born on his face. “Hey.” He said and walked into Alec’s arms. Magnus immediately nuzzled into Alec’s chest and felt Alec give him a kiss on his head. “Hey.” Alec replied.

They pulled away from each other, but Alec kept his arm around Magnus’s shoulders and looked at Ragnor with a raised eyebrow. “Alec, this is Ragnor.” Magnus introduced and Alec smiled at the man. “And Ragnor, this is Alec.” Ragnor and Alec were just letting go of each other’s hand after their hand shake, when Cat walked towards them. “Here you go. Your drink.” Cat said, handing over the drink to her friend. She turned to look at Alec and smiled widely. “Hi. You must be Alec.” She greeted and Alec nodded mutely. Magnus giggled at seeing Alec’s confused face. “I am Cat, Magnus’s partner in crime.” She chuckled and winked at Magnus. Magnus chuckled and explained to Alec about them learning to fight together. Alec nodded and understanding finally came into his eyes. He pulled Magnus closer and gave Magnus a small peck, to which Magnus blushed but gratefully leaned for more.

“So you replaced me with Magnus?” Ragnor asked and Magnus could tell his words held no heat. Cat grinned at Magnus and Alec, before looking at Ragnor, changing her grin to an unimpressed expression. “Yes. Because you weren’t there. Besides Magnus is much better company.” Cat replied and Ragnor huffed. Cat just chuckled at his reply.

They all sat down, where Magnus and Cat were sitting before Ragnor had arrived, and learned more about each other. They stayed in the small café for a few more hours before Cat got a call from the hospital and she got up to go. Ragnor offered to drop her off at the hospital and before exchanging numbers, they left.

Alec saw the happy spark in Magnus’s eyes and grinned at his omega. “Had fun?” He asked and Magnus bit his bottom lip and nodded. “Yeah. I actually made friends. All on my own!” He exclaimed and Alec chuckled, feeling Magnus’s happiness through their bond and he felt his own happiness for his omega.

***
As Alec drove them home, Magnus told Alec all about his session and Alec smiled as he listened, silently. He saw how Magnus’s eyes lit up as he talked and Alec silently vowed that he would do everything in his power to keep that spark in his omega’s eyes everyday for the rest of his life.