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You are worthy

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When Magnus woke up, his head felt disoriented and the first thing his brain registered was the softness of where he lay. He slowly opened his eyes, and took in his surroundings. He was in a bedroom. He looked down and saw someone had tucked him into bed which was very soft, and different from what Magnus was used to.

He was used to cold, hard floors to sleep on. He looked around, there was two bed side tables on either side of the bed, with light blue lave lamps. There were two doors, inside the room. One was opposite from where Magnus lay and it was nearly open and Magnus could see that it led to the bathroom. The other door, Magnus guessed was probably to exit the room. Magnus saw that there was a window at left side of room, and it showed the streets of New York.

He had heard of America from Johnathon talking about it to his friends, but he didn’t know where it was, or how beautiful it would be. He looked out of the window and saw people walking by and cars driving. He was too busy looking at the different kinds of people, that he didn’t see the door open and Alec step in. “Hey.” Alec said. Magnus flinched and looked away from the window and at Alec with wide, scared eyes. “It’s okay. You’re safe here.” Alec said and slowly and cautiously took small steps forward. He reached the bed and slowly sat down. Magnus didn’t reply and watched Alec with wide eyes. “Do you remember what happened?” Alec asked and Magnus nodded.

Alec had bitten him, saved him from Johnathon brought him to America. Magnus didn’t know whether or not letting an alpha claim him was a bad decision or a good one. His heart had started beating faster than usual as soon as he saw the alpha step into the room, he almost got up and wrapped his arms around him. But his mind stopped him. Sure they were mated, but that didn’t mean that Magnus could trust him all of a sudden. Although he could tell his heart already did.

“Where am I?” Magnus asked. Even though he knew he was in America, he wanted to know where in America. Alec smiled before replying. “You are in New York. This is my apartment. And this...” Alec said and waved in the direction of the room they were in. “Is my room.” Magnus looked around before looking back at Alec. “How long was I asleep?” Magnus asked. He remembered one time he had over slept and hade woken up to Johnathon choking him with his hands around Magnus’s throat. He didn’t want that to happen again. “Only a day. We arrived in New York late last night.” Alec replied, gently.

“A day? That’s too long. I didn’t mean to. I – I promise to work e – extra harder –“
“Hey, listen to me.” Alec interrupted. “You can sleep for how ever long you want. And you don’t work for me. You are not a slave here. This is your home too. Meaning you can relax and do what ever you want. You can drink water when ever you want. You can eat whenever you want. You can sleep or watch tv when ever you want. You understand?” Magnus looked at Alec, surprised written all over his face.

All his life, people had told him that he deserved to be a slave or a bitch used for sex, because he was born an omega. All his life he was told he didn’t deserve kindness. Now Alec telling him the complete opposite made Magnus’s head spin. “Look, I know it’s hard for you. This is hard for you to believe because all your life you have been taught one thing and hearing another is new and scary.” Alec whispered, and Magnus felt like he was talking from experience as Alec’s voice grew thick with emotion.

“But I will help you realise your worth. You don’t deserve to be treated like how Johnathon treated you. No body deserves that. You are not some thing to be looked down upon and I know we have just met and it will take time for you trust me, and that’s okay. But I promised you to protect you and I intend to keep that promise. But I won’t just protect you from people like Johnathon, but from yourself and the prejudice thoughts that have been engraved in your mind.”

Magnus didn’t know what to say. So he merely nodded his head. Alec smiled and gently and stroked his thumb gently across Magnus’s hand, which rested on the bed. “Come on. Are you hungry?” Magnus hesitated and shook his head, keeping his eyes low. Alec gently placed his other hand (the one that wasn’t stroking Magnus’s) underneath Magnus’s chin and brought his head up. “You don’t have to lie to me.” Alec whispered and Magnus eyes widened in surprise and fear.

There was a time when Johnathon had caught him drinking water without permission and when Johnathon asked him, Magnus had lied that he hadn’t drank any. Johnathon hadn’t given him water for two days because he had lied. “I’m sorry. Are you – Are you going to ban me from drinking water?” Magnus whispered staring into Alec’s eyes with fear. Alec’s heart broke hearing how scared the omega sounded and through their mating bond, Alec could feel Magnus’s fear. He hated Johnathon even more than he did before for treating Magnus the way he did.

“No baby. No.” Alec shook his head and Magnus’s heart thudded loudly, upon hearing his alpha call him a pet name. “While I prefer not being lied to, especially if it’s about whether or not you’re hungry, I will never punish you.” Alec said and he saw and felt Magnus relax. After a couple of minutes of silence, with Alec drawing small patterns on the back of Magnus’s hand Magnus finally spoke up. “Okay. And I am h – hungry.” He stuttered out. He couldn’t help not stuttering, he had never told anyone, let alone an alpha, that he was hungry. He had been taught to repress his inner needs. Alec smiled, as he felt proud of Magnus for admitting this. It was a small step into the right direction.

“Come on.” Alec stood up, Magnus following suit. He stood up and looked down at himself. He wasn’t in his own clothes and the clothes he wore smelt like Alec. He wore sweat pants that were too big for him and were folded at the bottom. He also wore a long sleeved black shirt which was also slightly big on him, as it felt baggy on his body. “I – er… I hope you don’t mind but I changed your clothes.” Alec stammered. He felt a blush rise up in his cheeks as he saw Magnus look down at himself. “The clothes you had on, looked really ruff and uncomfortable.”
Magnus didn’t mind. He had been in worse conditions where he had to show his nudity, so the thought of Alec undressing him not for pleasure but to dress him in more comfortable clothes for Magnus’s comfort was new to Magnus. New and scary, but also it warmed his heart. Magnus looked away from the clothes on his body and back at Alec and smiled. “Thank you.” He whispered and Alec nodded in reply. He motioned for Magnus to follow him and turned around to walk out of the room. Magnus followed and as he stepped out of the bedroom, he saw that the apartment Alec lived in wasn’t that big and yet it was cosy and homely. He walked to the living room, and saw that there was two sofas sitting in front of the tv which was in a Tv stand filled with books all around it.

Magnus noticed that Alec liked to read, as he saw books of different kinds scattering the shelves. On the opposite side of the room, The whole wall consisted of windows from the ceiling to the floor and in between the windows there was a glass door which led out to a balcony overseeing the streets of New York. The view was beautiful. Magnus looked to his left and saw a small kitchen attached to the living room. There was a breakfast bar and Magnus could see all the kitchen essentials inside the small room. “Your home is beautiful.” Magnus commented without thinking, and as soon as he said those words he cursed inwardly. He wasn’t allowed to speak if not spoke to. But as he looked at Alec, Magnus saw that Alec didn’t mind.

In fact he seemed pleased Magnus had spoken. “Thank you. And it’s not just my home.” Alec replied and Magnus looked at him feeling confused.
“I didn’t realise someone else lived here. I didn’t see them.” Magnus replied. Alec shook his head and chuckled. Magnus looked adorable with his confused innocent face. “No. No one else lives here. But what I meant is, that this is your home too.” Alec said. “If… If you want it to.” Alec added as an after thought.

Magnus didn’t even think before nodding and Alec beamed. Even though the two had just met, Magnus couldn’t help but want to be closer to the alpha. Maybe it was the bite. Magnus thought.

“Come on let’s eat.” Alec walked into the kitchen and Magnus followed. Alec made him sit down on the breakfast bar whilst he cooked lunch. He turned to look at the clock and saw it was mid afternoon. “Alpha. You should be sitting and I should be cooking.” Magnus said and Alec stopped in his tracks and looked at Magnus.
“Okay first of all. You don’t need to call me Alpha.” Alec said, smiling amusedly as he did so.
“B – but… I am an omega.” Magnus pointed out as if that was the answer to everything. Alec nodded. “I can see that baby,” he replied patiently.
“No I mean. I need to call you that. It’s rude if I don’t.” Magnus said. Alec sighed and walked closer.
“Look. I know you have been taught these things since you were a child. But what you have been taught is not right. You don’t need to call me Alpha. Just as I don’t need to call you Omega. Magnus we are equal. No matter what your second gender is, we are equal.” Magnus didn’t look like he believed him but Alec knew that it was going to take a while to convince Magnus that he isn’t beneath everyone. “Call me Alec. Okay?” Alec said and Magnus nodded slowly.

Alec went back to work and Magnus watched as Alec made the food. Magnus realised that the alpha was very handsome. He had seen his fair share of beautiful men and women when he worked for Johnathon as Johnathon liked to bring some one new home nearly everyday.

But Alec was different. His beauty wasn’t just in his face, it was also in his actions, his words, his caressing touches. Alec Lightwood was the very definition of beauty. Magnus suddenly felt giddy at the thought that his alpha was so… kind.

After all he had been through, maybe this was the angel’s way of telling him that maybe his hardship was over. Magnus wished as much. But in the back of his mind he couldn’t shut out the voice that told him he didn’t deserve happiness or kindness. But just this once he decided to ignore it and admired Alec. With Alec, he felt safe. It was unusual and very frightening to feel so safe with someone who he had just met a day before.
All his life, he had learnt to not put his trust in people, so the feelings of safety Alec gave out made Magnus feel an uneasiness in his stomach as he wasn’t used to this.

It felt like he was was trapped in a room full of darkness and by fate, a small window had opened and let in light. He felt himself grab the light and treasure it, as it was something he yearned for but never had.

After a few more moments of comfortable silence, Alec brought over the food and sat opposite Magnus. He placed one of the plates in front of Magnus, and another in front of himself. Magnus’s eyes grew wide. The plate was full of food. Alec had made spaghetti and it looked amazing. Magnus just stared at it, he wasn’t allowed to eat this much food. He didn’t deserve it. Alec was about to start eating when he noticed Magnus.

“Magnus?” He called and Magnus looked away from the food and at Alec. This was the part Alec told him that the food wasn’t really Magnus’s. Or it was just to stare at and not touch. This was the part that Alec told him that he could only eat the leftovers… if there were any. This was the part – “Why aren’t you eating?” Alec’s voice interrupted Magnus’s swirling thoughts. Magnus felt his eyes widen in surprise, and he realised he had been doing that a lot lately. He supposed it was because Alec kept surprising him. “Because – because… I don’t deserve -“
“No,” Alec interrupted Magnus. “You deserve everything and more. But right now you deserve to eat, as only the angel knows how long it has been since you have last eaten. So eat.” Alec said firmly.

Magnus hesitated before nodding and dug in. The first bite that he took made his eyes close and he let out a moan before he could stop himself. He opened his eyes when he heard a chuckle. “Good?” Alec asked and Magnus nodded. “So good,” he replied and Alec laughed again. Magnus felt a jolt of sudden happiness, which was new. He had never felt something like this before and he had to admit to himself. He liked the feeling.

***

After lunch, they sat down on the sofa, and Magnus was amazed to be watching tv for the first time. He knew what a tv was, Jonathon had one in his house. But he had never had the luxury to watch for himself. Even before he was sold to Valentine, as a kid his parents didn’t own a tv back then, so watching it was very new. Alec smiled at seeing Magnus’s wide excited eyes. He was like a child in a sweet shop. Alec flicked through the channels, until he found a channel where they were showing a Disney movie. Even though it was a kids movie, he decided that letting Magnus watch it would be good for him. He was right, when he heard Magnus’s soft giggles as he found the movie, Tangled, entertaining.

Alec saw Magnus relax as he watched and his soft giggles grew louder and louder every time he laughed. Every time he would try to hide his laugh behind his hand, but soon forget as he found something too funny to not laugh. Alec found it adorable and he found himself watching Magnus instead of the movie. Through out the movie, they were sitting close but not close enough to be touching. Alec didn’t want to make Magnus feel uncomfortable so he didn’t move closer. Alec carried on watching the movie until he heard a soft snore. He turned to look at Magnus to find him fast asleep, the sight pulling at Alec’s heart strings.

The movie was almost finished, Magnus still sleeping and Alec was just about to take the remote and change the channel when a loud knock on the door startled the calm silence. Magnus flinched awake and moved to take a defensive position, he looked around before relaxing when he realised he was safe. “Hey. It’s okay.” Alec said and Magnus swallowed before nodding. Alec stood up but was immediately pulled down by Magnus who gripped his hand tightly. “Where are you going?” He asked in a rush. The person behind the door knocked again making Magnus flinch. “I’m just answering the door. It’s okay. I will be right back.” Alec replied. But Magnus still didn’t let go. “I promise. Do you trust me?” Alec whispered. Magnus found himself nodding, because he did trust Alec.
“Yeah… Okay.” He eventually whispered out. Alec smiled and let go of Magnus’s hand and walked to the door.