Chapter 1: When it all fell over
When Edward is home alone and accidentally unleashes Jonathan's Fear Toxin on himself, the results are not pleasant. In which Scarecrow and Jonathan Crane and two different people in the same mind, and Edward gets the short end of the stick (or should I say bat) as usual.
Yay, my first fanfic! I'm posting this a couple other places, so feedback would be much appreciated as I have no idea if anyone else thinks my writing is allright. I may add tags and smut later on. And sorry that the chapters are so short right now, I promise I'll make them longer later.
"EDWARD NYGMA WHAT DID YOU DO?!" a certain furious doctor Crane shouted into their shared flat at the realization a great number of furniture pieces had been knocked over. His anger increased about tenfold when TWO (count them 2) canisters of his Fear Toxin lay empty on the ground. No voice answered him. No cocky redhead jumped up and responded with a riddle of his own. Jonathan walked silently back into their room. If Eddie was here, he would find him. Listening at the door, he almost moved on until a muffled sob sounded from behind the bed. "Edward. NYGMA. WHAT IS GOING ON!?" He roared before pausing in confusion when the person behind the bed only screamed quietly and resumed crying. "Eddie? What's wrong?" His voice was soothing, calming. Round and warm and very much not Scarecrow who had been in control. "Please." The voice was strained, fearful and cracked, sounding like the owner was pleading for his life. "Please I didn't cheat!" Edward Nygma was the one crying behind the bed. And Jonathan Crane had absolutely no idea why. So, he walked around the edge of the bed to see him properly and cleared his throat with a speech on the edge of his tongue. It died in his mouth when he saw Nygma curled in on himself at the sight of him. "I swear! Please! I did it by myself! I didn't cheat! Please don't!" Jonathan knelt at the edge of the bed and shrugged off his coat. "What are you talking about?" His brow furrowed in confusion at the tears that streamed rivers down Nygma's cheeks. When he held a hand out to try and reassure him it only seemed to scare worse. His voice rose louder, choked in desperation. "Father no please! I didn't cheat Not againPleaseNo!" The gibberish fell from his lips quickly, so quickly Jonathan could hardly discern them from a scream. Then it clicked. The cans of toxin on the floor. Edward's apparent terror. His love (though he rarely admitted it to himself, let alone Eddie) had been given a dosage of Fear Toxin strong enough to make a football stadium of people hallucinate horrors twice over. And there was no way to stop it. Not that Jonathan wouldn't try to help it. "Edward. It's me, Jonathan. Not your father. Not even Him. It's me." he swallowed with a grimace. "Spooky." Gah he hated that nickname. Edward only sobbed harder. "No! Not the bat please! I know that I am horrible at it but please!" His hands covered his head and neck, the stance of one well versed in protecting the spinal cord and brain by themselves. "Father I can't--" his last sentence was cut of with a violent shudder and a complete stop in breath. His hands clutched at his throat, and Crane promptly lost it. If this was potent enough to induce choking and other sensations, he had to try and snap Edward out of it. His long and lanky frame curled over him and smoothed his hair. "Hush, Edward. Riddler. Genius. Love. I know you didn't cheat. I am not your father. I want you to tell me what you see please so I can help you!" A flicker of realization passed through his wild eyes at the clinical yet loving monotone that only Jonathan could produce. His choking stopped and for a moment he was in semi control. Enough to gasp out an explanation. "He always did it. Louisville slugger. So hard I couldn't walk for a day at least every time. Said I was stupid. Lying about my award. Competition. Puzzle." His speech degraded from there "I did it. Not. Cheating. No!" And Jonathan knew he lost him again. "If only I could see what you are! To be there so I can help you!" He held the sobbing and struggling body close. "Be strong Eddie. What is the true identity of Batman? Why are an orange and a bell similar? What does no man want to have but no man want to loose?" He rattled off riddles one after another mindlessly. All of the ones Edward had ever said, mentioned, mumbled, written down in front of him. Anything to make Edward remember who he was now.
Chapter 2: The Horrors one Finds
A flashback to before Jonny Boy got home
This is mature for a reason people.
Edward Nygma hummed to himself as he wandered around the flat, cleaning. Without paying attention his hip smacked into a lab table and jostled the cans that littered the top. "Owww" his hiss of pain masked the entirely different hiss emanating from the two cans that lay on the ground. Their seal had broken on contact with the tile floor, and now the Fear Toxin Jonathan doted on was leaking at an alarming rate into the air. The Riddler knew none of this and continued to waltz around the room allowing Jonny's newest batch more time to work on him. All was fine until he heard the unmistakable thud of work boots directly behind him. Neither Jonathan nor Jervis (who dropped in occasionally to chat) wore boots that loud. In fact, Edward only knew one person who did. He whirled around, screaming at the sight of his father standing behind him, swinging that bloodstained Louisville Slugger. "You're dead! I killed you!" His scream was one of self assurance and panic. "So. You. Thought. Bitch!" The bat whistled an inch from his face. "Couldn't even do that right you lazy cheating sum-bitch!" Edward started to run farther into the flat, trying to escape his father. It sickened him. And terrified him all at once. "Get back here! I haven't finished with you bastard!" His father roared and pounded after him. Though Nygma Sr. was strong against his wife and Edward, he was a terrible runner. And Edward, through years of forced practice, was a sprinter when it mattered. Those steel toe work boots pounded on the floor behind him. Their bedroom door slammed shut behind him and Edward cowered behind the bed, trying to remember how to be silent. How to make his father forget he was back there. A voice roared from the door. "EDWARD NYGMA WHAT DID YOU DO!?" And for a split second he relaxed. It sounded like Spooky. Jonathan could save him from the pounding on the door that was causing it to bow inwards. But then the pounding stopped. More screaming but he couldn't hear the words. He sobbed in his place behind the bed. What if Jonathan couldn't save him! The door slammed open and those boots drew nearer. His crying started again in earnest. No one could save him, and he couldn't save himself... That smoke and beer and shouting voice growled from the door. "Bastard. I know you're back there. I already killed your little bastard boyfriend, now it's your turn!" The bat swung past his nose again, stained with fresh blood and possibly scraps of burlap. He screamed and tried to hide, blend into the wall so he would be safe. But that never worked. "Father no please!" He begged and pleaded as the man towered over him. All he got was a dry chuckle and a knock on the head. "This is what happens to Cheating little bastards who try and get smart!" Memories, images raced through his mind of when he was a child, this happening over and over again. Remembering how to protect his head so he didn't pass out. How to clench his stomach so it didn't break anything. Then a chuckle broke into his thoughts, his protection, his mind. "You don't deserve this." The bat went thudding to the floor and Edward breathed a small sigh of relief. Then those huge, rough hands closed around his throat. Cutting of his air, squeezing the very life out of his body. "You deserve the same as you did to me!" That voice sickened him, laughing as the struggled to get free, to breathe. Then the hands were gone and he felt gentle hands with long slender fingers smooth his hair. "...love. I know you didn't cheat....not your father...Tell me....see....help you!" Jonathan's voice swam in and out of clarity, but it was enough. Edward's insanely high I.Q. kicked in and forced the words out. "He always did it. Louisville slugger. So hard I couldn't walk for a day at least every time. Said I was stupid. Lying about my award. Competition. Puzzle." Then his father's voice broke through again. "What gibberish you spouting now Bastard?! Thinking that was your precious Jonathan?! Hah! So stupid to think that you could be free! And I know you cheated on for that award you idiot bitch! You are so dumb you must have PAID someone to do it for you!" Edward's mind crumpled back in on itself and panic resumed. "I did it. Not cheating. No!" His father laughed raucously and raised the bat a final time. Then it swung and connected with his temple, knocking Edward unconscious. In the last rays of sight he could have sworn he heard and saw Jonathan, but Jonathan was dead. It couldn't be.
Chapter 3: Scarecrow and Jonathan try to fix things
Even though Jon and Scarecrow only know how to produce fear, not cure it, they try to help Edward.
still tiny chapters I'm sorryyyy. Also, another 'this is mature for a reason' chapter
When Edward slumped forward, unconscious in Jon's arms, he panicked. A lot. Like 'talking to himself and hugging the limp body' kind of panic. Then his rational mind took over completely. "What do we know? One: Edward Nygma has ingested twenty times the dose of Toxin that we have ever tested. Two: The effects are strong enough to cause hallucinations, both auditory and visual, choking and unconsciousness. Three: Edward Nygma is currently unconscious and is sitting on the floor behind our bed." He nodded to himself and kept talking aloud. "What do we know we need to do? One: Remove Eddie from the floor. Okay, this is going to be interesting." Slowly unfurling his limbs, Jon managed to get up with only minor jostling to Eddie. The difficult part would be manoeuvring the redhead onto the bed. Grabbing his hands, Edward was pulled into basically standing, before he was dropped onto the bed. Scarecrow slung his feet up after his body and thought again. "Things we need to do part Two: study the toxin's effects. NO!! (this was Jonathan taking complete control) That doesn't matter! We need to formulate an Anti-Toxin because the half life is dangerously long! We are not using Eddie as a lab rat! We are fixing this!" Nodding to himself resolutely, Jon stomped off to his lab to try and reverse what he had done. For Eddie, this was just the beginning of a long nightmare.
~~~~~~Back Into dear Edward's mind a few hours later!~~~~~~~~
Slowly regaining consciousness allowed the ginger to hear Scarecrow slamming a door closed. "Don't you see. Even HE can't stand to be around you. Look at how pathetic you are. You throw yourself at him like a whore and he can't stand your disgusting presence." His father's voice emanated from a dark corner. Shadows seemed to stream from around the room to form his figure. It stalked closer and Edward tried to cry or scream for Jon or run but he couldn't move. He was frozen in place, those boots thudding closer all the while. "You never learned, did you. All those lessons, all that time. You never figured it out. No one wants you. Your mother knew it from the start. That's why she left. Because you were destined to be nothing from the beginning. Just a drain on our money and on our air. Having to pay your stupid hospital bills all the time... You never toughened up, you never straightened out. Never beat it all the way out of you how wrong you were." A hand on his chest. A hand on his throat. A tug on his hair. A gasp of pain...oh wait, that was his own. And he was on the floor again. And there was a boot on his chest like before. And it was crushing...crushing... "Now I won't have to pay for you bitch. I can let you die on the floor like you deserve. Like you want!" A kick in the side and his mouth tastes funny. Oh god, it's blood. He's bleeding and Jon won't come and save him because his voice doesn't work and he is going to die here. His father kicks him in the side again. A cough, choking on his own blood. But his voice works. Thank god his voice works. But he can't breath because there is a boot on his throat. There is a boot on his throat and he manages to scream when it moves. "JONATHAN!!! OH GOD JON SAVE ME PLEASE!!! PLEASE!!! JON!!!" The shadow laughs but doesn't stop him. "Scream for me bitch. I'll give you something to scream about." Then a burning, a burning in his neck like... "You remember this, bitch boy? You remember being my ashtray, Bastard?!" His tortured screams ring through the flat and Jon races to the room. They never let up and if Jon hadn't known any better he would have said that voice belonged to someone being burned alive. "JONATHAN GOD HELP ME SAVE ME JONATHAN PLEASE!!" Tears soak his hair and his throat burns from screaming.
~~~~~Last POV change this chapter I promise~~~~~
Jonathan bursts into the room and without thinking empties a syringe into Edward's neck. The screams don't stop while Jon gathers the body into his own and hopes that his cure works. But what breaks his heart the most is Edward clutching his clothes and begging for something to save him. Crying and sobbing that he was sorry for everything and screaming for it to end. Jon just pet his hair and tried to reassure him.
Chapter 4: I love you, but I don't believe you yet
Why won't Ed's dad just stay dead? And why did he have to drag Jon into this?
A little bit longer this time, I'm trying to work on it still though. I'm glad that I've gotten so many hits already and kudos! I would appreciate any suggestions or comments ^J^.
Hours after Jonathan had broken into their shared bedroom and shoved a needle into Edward's neck, hours of sitting on the floor with a sobbing Riddler screaming and crying in his arms, his cries quieted and then died away. Then, the only sound in the dark room was quiet sobbing. Edward tried to stand away from the scientist but he was pulled back in for a breathless hug. "Edward..." Jon's voice was a low rumble in his chest, reassuring, and held the trace of an accent he usually kept well hidden. "Edward I...I am sorry." Eddie hiccuped and locked his tear filled eyes on Jon's. "I am sorry you had to experience that...it was never-I never wanted to hurt you. Never you. Because I...I lo..." Edward cut him off with a smile and a shake of his head. He knew what the man meant and the words could wait until he was ready. The hiccups and sobs had finally gone, and Eddie was only a moment away from passing out from exhaustion. He pressed his face to the crook of Jon's neck and breathed in his unique sent before falling into a nightmare sleep.
I was curled up on Jon's lap, we were still on the floor when I woke up. That's going to hurt his back tomorrow...but I don't want to move. I'm safe here. Then the thud of those boots. Right behind me and oh so loud. I tried to scream, yell, anything but my voice was gone. "Look what you did. Look what you made me do. All because you could never stand up for your fucking self like a man. No. You're a little bitch, and you'll stay that way!" I tugged on the front of Jon's shirt, trying to make him wake up, but nothing worked. "Why don't you try for a pulse next bitch. Because I'm afraid your little boyfriend is dead 'cus of you." No. No this was not happening! Jon was alive, he was just sleeping and my father was not here he's dead. He's dead he's...oh God. Jon. Jonathan wake up. I kept tugging on his shirt but still nothing happened. Then Jon's head lolled backwards and I could see his face for the first time. It was bruised and bloody, nose broken with two black eyes. A gash ran down his face across one eye to his neck. There wasn't a pulse anywhere I felt and no matter what I did he wouldn't move or open an eye. Then his mouth opened, and a swarm of maggots dripped from his lips. I couldn't even scream as I tried to get away, trapped in the embrace of my love's corpse. No matter how I struggled his arms had a vice grip but finally Jon's eyes opened to reveal gaping sockets and he leaned forward and I couldn't get away and-
~3rd person Pov~
Jon woke up abruptly as Edward started to thrash and kick. "Edward. Edward! Wake up Eddie!" Jon grabbed him by the shoulders and tried to stop the convulsions. 'God what have I done?!' he asked Scarecrow, who simply cackled and watched Ed thrash. "Edward! Wake up please!" He begged, holding him close so that he wouldn't get hurt. Edward's eyes snapped open to a scene exactly like what he dreamt (minus the insects) and he struggled even harder to get away. This time Jonathan let him, as painful as it was. He slumped backwards and dropped his arms, boneless feeling because Edward....his Edward...was afraid of him. Of being close to him. He closed his eyes and resisted the strange urge to tear at his hair. Edward, who had been huddled into a ball as far away as possible, reached a hand out after a while, and nudged Jon's arm. He raised his head slowly, eyes still closed. Ed nudged his arm again, and Jon wondered why he wasn't speaking but didn't dwell on it and opened his eyes to see Edward staring up at him, still not touching. He felt a strange feeling of relief coming from the smaller man but why he didn't know. Edward reached a shaking hand to his mouth and...brushed the pads of his fingers across Jon's mouth. Jonathan didn't do anything and just waited. Edward did it again then opened his mouth and...closed it again. Then he retreated a little and looked at Jon expectantly. He was clueless however. Taking a chance and feeling a bit idiotic, he opened his mouth slowly and watched as Edward flinched back and then lunged forward, knocking him to the ground with a hug. "Edward wha-?" He tried to ask but Eddie just shook his head and buried his face deeper into Jonathan's chest. "Eddie... you're shaking again. Are you cold? How about I wrap you up in our quilt," he did so as he spoke "and we go in the kitchen and make Hot Chocolate. I know it's your favourite when you don't feel well." Edward deliberated for a moment before nodding and shakily getting to his feet, clinging to Jon when he stood up. Eventually they made it to the kitchen, Edward refusing to go sit down and clutching Jon the whole time. Somehow the Hot Chocolate was made without incident and they were both sitting on the couch, wrapped in the quilt drinking. "Edward...I know what you are going through and I know that it is hard for you to believe anything right now. But I promise you, I am well, I will never hurt you, and I will never let anything else hurt you." There was that soft accent again, Edward liked it, liked hearing the rumble of Jonathan's voice through his chest. Sleepily he placed his empty mug on the table before snuggling into Jonathan and falling asleep once more. This time, he didn't dream at all.
Chapter 5: I can't stop thinking, even when I want to
marshmallow fluff smut, memories of past abuse, slight angst.
In the morning, Jonathan woke before Edward, like usual. The redhead had a rather demanding sleep schedule to make up for his weeks of sleeplessness. What was unusual was how entangled they still were. Eddie had a tendency to shove Jon away at night unintentionally. The doctor smiled and ran a hand through the auburn waves as Eddie's breathing showed he was waking up. Eddie groaned and shifted, stretching out and then clinging back onto the doctor. Jon resumed stroking his hair and Edward practically purred in happiness.
"Enjoying yourself?" He chuckled, still petting as Ed continued to express his enjoyment. A muffled reply came from his chest and Jon laughed again.
"I can't understand you like that. What did you say?" Edward grumbled and grabbed Jon's free hand, lacing their fingers together and stretching up to kiss him. Jon sighed softly and smiled, pressing a hand to his cheek and bringing him back up for another kiss. He unlatched their fingers and both of Edward's hands fisted his shirt while he brought his free hand to Ed's ribs. Edward giggled and Jon looked up in confusion before realizing the hand stroking his side might tickle. "Sorry." He breathed before sliding the hand to Edward's waist, pulling the man up closer.
"It's f-mfh" Edward started before being cut off with another kiss, and reciprocated by threading his fingers through the taller man's hair and tugging lightly. When the both had to come up for air, he wasted no time in tugging a little harder and pressing kisses and bites to Jon's neck and collar. Jonathan groaned and wrapped his arms around Eddie, pressing him as close as possible and then sliding a hand under the hem of his shirt. Their mouths clashed again and Jon lifted the shirt off entirely, stilling when he ran a hand across Edward's back. He pulled back and looked at the man under him in concern.
"Jon...?" He asked before feeling what the scientist was doing.
He traced every one of the scars that littered his back gently. Edward shivered and pressed a kiss to Jon's jaw. "How could anyone do this to someone so beautiful." Jon breathed out. "How could you hurt someone like this."
Edward, feeling cocky, muttered under his breath "with a chain and a belt for fourteen years straight." not meaning for Jon to hear it but the man did anyway.
In a smooth motion he flipped them so Ed was the one lying back on the couch and he was straddling the man's waist. "For fourteen years of your life, Edward?" He asked unbelievingly and leant down to hug him close when he got a nod for an answer.
"The first thing I can remember of my life is the first time my father 'accidentally' used me as an ashtray. I was four I think." He added shakily.
"Oh God Edward..." Jon whispered sadly,"I will never let someone hurt you like this. You're too important to me." He propped himself back up and brushed away the tears littering Edward's cheeks. "So special. So brilliant." Then he threw the quilt from last night over them and curled himself around Edward.
Chapter 6: Not made of glass
It has been about a week since Edward's accidental gassing, and since he has gotten over it he's getting a bit...needy. Jon meanwhile, continues to treat him with kid gloves. Edward takes it upon himself to get those slender hands on him any way he can. (Not required plot-wise. but I mean you've gotten this far so...)
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
(One week since Eddie got gassed)
They were both on one of Jon's lab chairs, Edward straddling the taller man and rolling their hips together. Jonathan's hands were all over him, fisted into his hair and then tugging his shirt before clutching his ass. Their tongues fought while Edward pulled at the lab clothes between him and skin. He moaned, loud and filthy when Jon gave a particularly hard tug to his hair and bit into this exposed neck at the same time.
"God Jonathan Please!" he almost begged before moaning again at a hand worming up the back of his shirt. "Jonathan please, need you." he managed to groan with eyes squeezed shut in pleasure when all of a sudden the wonderful hands were gone completely. The mouth on his neck too and all he could do was pant and stare at Jon in confusion. What was he playing at?!
"We shouldn't." Jonathan gasped out quietly and avoided looking him in the eye. "We really shouldn't. I should..." he whispered before trailing off and picking Edward up off his lap to set him down on the table in front of them. "I'm...sorry Edward." He quickly stumbled out of the room leaving a very frustrated and confused Riddler behind.
Two and a half weeks. That was how long it had been since the gas incident. Half a week since his last failed attempt at getting something from his Doctor Crane. Two and a half weeks of trailing conversations and lingering touches and getting nowhere. Edward felt perpetually hard and Crane kept doing these things to him and then leaving him with a mumbled apology. It was infuriating to the point of madness and Eddie finally decided he had had enough of this. He would bait Crane into touching him, or at least be able to get himself off. After all, he knew it was affecting Jon as much as it was him. Scarecrow wasn't even as animalistic as usual. Hell, Ed and Scarecrow had a conversation one night about this! And this plan of his... Was definitely going to work.
Breakfast in a oversized shirt and boxers started off the morning. Edward got up early to make eggs and tease Jon, which caused the added final touch of his 'kiss the genius' apron. When Jonathan stumbled his way into the kitchen, Edward noted the strain on his pants smugly.
"How many eggs would you like?" Edward looked over his shoulder at the frozen scientist. "I had guessed one like usual but you never know..." The answering gulp from Crane made the Riddler giggle to himself. This plan was definitely ending in his favor.
It was lunch time now, and Jon was a little on edge. Well, more than usual. So far Edward had done nothing since breakfast but the strain to his pants had not gone down and he knew Eddie would do more. And he was right. When Crane stepped into the kitchen once more, he notice Edward sitting on the counter. Still in a state of undress, but not doing anything yet.
"Want anything specific?" Jonathan managed to ask, receiving a smile and a shaken head from Ed. "Well aren't you hungry? Or did you already get something?" He continued. Edward smiled wider and held up a banana. "Oh, I see." Jon could feel himself getting more affected just at the images that brought up. Maintaining eye contact through his lashes, Eddie unpeeled the banana and in one motion put the entire thing down his throat. Jonathan's mouth dropped open as Edward held it in his mouth for a few heartbeats, and then swallowed noisily around it before taking it back out of his mouth whole. Then he winked, slid off the counter and walked out of the kitchen. All Jonathan could do was clutch the table and try to will his erection away.
Time skip of teasing brought to you by crows
"Edward? Have you seen my-" Jonathan stopped short in the doorway, gaping at Edward. The redhead was clad in one of Jon's shirts and nothing else, while he draped over their bed. His hair was tousled to fall over his eyes just the way it did after their 'activities'.
"You...needed... something Jon?" He asked lowly, hand reaching slowly down the open shirt and closing his eyes. "You needed...me?" He added breathlessly before opening his eyes again. Biting his bottom lip he stroked himself lightly with the pads of his fingers, moaning Jonathan's name. He threw his head back and moaned louder as he continued to stroke himself, legs spread so Jonathan could see. Jonathan still hadn't moved from the doorway, but he slowly unbuttoned his pants to alleviate some of the pressure.
"Need you so bad, Need you in me Jonathan!" Edward panted, bringing a lube slick finger down to trace his hole. "Filling me up and stretching me out..." His actions, so on display for Jon, were a bit of a last resort. If this didn't work... Edward was out of plans. He worked two fingers into himself while he locked eyes with Jonathan once more. "Please Jonathan, I want you. All of you!"
Eddie sounded wreaked already, and Jonathan couldn't hold himself together anymore. He crawled onto the bed over Eddie, mouthing his neck and grinning as one of his slender fingers joined Edward's in stretching him out. His body shook as long slender fingers replaced his own and stroked him deeper inside. A third finger of Jonathan's had him arched like a bow, moaning louder as it pressed against his prostate. A hard bite to his hip had Edward shaking at the sensations and cursing between gasps. Jonathan was getting him back for the teasing and it left his toes curling.
"Edward, look at me." Jonathan commanded, as he managed a fourth finger into Edward.
His hands clutched tighter onto the sheets at the feeling and a moan tore itself from his throat.
"Jesus CHRIST Jonathan, I'm going to- Oh dear Fuck- going to cum if you keep-" he broke off with a strangled noise as the Doctor bit into his hip again.
A chuckle floated up, slightly sinister. "Go ahead, Edward. Cum for me. I'm not going to stop however." Edward's back arched even farther as cum splashed across his stomach and he nearly screamed in pleasure. Jonathan, true to his word, didn't stop stretching him out all through his orgasm.
"Jonathan, need you in- holy fuck- in me now, Fucking hell Jon!" Edward gasped and moaned when the fingers were finally removed. Two claw-like hands reached up to scratch lines down the heaving chest and chuckle again. Then those long fingers were tugging and twisting on his nipples and Edward felt like he would explode if Jon kept up. He knew there had to be tears in his eyes, it was all so much.
"Please, Jon don't-" Edward's body jerked in pleasure before he could finish the last word. Even he wasn't sure what it would have been. Don't stop? Don't tease? Don't make me go insane? He said none of them though, and Jonathan (understandably) guessed something else.
Jonathan lurched back, eyes wide and hands far away from Edward's heaving body. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I just thought....But I'll go and I'm...I'm sorry." Jonathan apologized and tried to stand on shaky legs.
Edward lay panting on the bed, trying to get his breathing under control and figure out how to speak English, managing to call Jon's name just as the Doctor opened the bedroom door. "Jonathan wait!" His voice was breathy still, needy and broken. "Please come back. I want you to come back. But I think we might really need to talk first. Because both of us have concerns I think."
Sitting up had caused the tears that had been gathering to roll down his cheeks and Jonathan brushed them away with his thumb. "You're crying. You can't convince me that you're alright." He whispered. "We can talk but I know that continued interaction will only hurt you and I want nothing of the sort. Your experiences under my toxins effects..." He trailed off and refused to look at the man sitting before him.
Edward was quickly sobering up from his high and he stood up to level them, however he went too quickly and had to clutch onto Jonathan so as to not fall over.
"Jonathan, I have never felt more cared for than I do right now." He mumbled into the doctor's shirt. "You cared for me while I was...hurt...you have been more than gentle with me now. I want you, Jonathan. I want you close and around me. I don't care if I'm shaking by the time we're done. I just want you."
Jonathan made a noise like a choked sob but he held his ground somewhat. "Your experiences under the effects were a loss of control and I am in a way doing the same. I.. earlier when you said to stop I almost didn't because I was much to focused on myself. I don't deserve your trust and certainly don't deserve you intimately." His hands carded through Edward's hair gently as he spoke.
A breathy sigh of "Jonathan" came from Eddie at the motions and he looked up at Jon looking drunk. "I disagree with you, on many levels, but if you're not comfortable I can wait. Why don't we just go to bed?"
Jonathan smiled and then frowned. "It's a bit early and we haven't eaten yet. Besides I have to-"
Edward cut him off with a finger "nooooo sleep. Both of us. Tell Scarecrow to shut it about work and sleep." Jonathan sighed in defeat and guided them back onto the bed. Edward promptly moved so that Jonathan's lanky for almost surrounded him and smiled.
Hi again! I finally updated...this time with lemon-y fun times. My first official time writing smut actually...(part of why it's not quite all the way) As always, I would love feedback :D thank you!