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Sideways Taylors

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“Ruben!”

My eyes snapped open, that twerp had the nerve to disturb my daily nap.

“What?” I managed to growl out, my twin brother not even fazed by my response. Damn him.

“Guess what?” He pitched the question while he launched himself on the top part of the bunk bed.

“What is there to guess? The fact you ruined my eight hour nap?” I could tell my usual cool grey eyes turned stormy black, but my idiot twin was used to my behavior. Instead, he handed me my glasses.

“Wrong silly pig,” I resisted the impulse to choke him, but I let slide, “Its Transformers Tuesday!”

Just then, I felt a very familiar emotion. A drug called anger flew through my veins do to the fact that this fool woke me up for this!? I threw a fist in his direction, but he dodged. My agile twin flipped off the bed, holding on to the rails. Looking down, I find him gone from existence. With an exasperated sigh, I pushed back my shoulder length hair and climbed down from my comfort zone.

Once I hit bottom I flattened out my dull colored pajamas, and proceeded to exit the room, only to step on something sharp. Cursing out loud for my pain, and my slow senses, I picked up the perpetrator. A fucking collectible statue. An obvious Decepticon with a Decepticon head. How strange, or more accurately, what in tarnation was he?

My idiot twin did this… on purpose. I will have my revenge. To be more safe, I check my surroundings carefully. Especially the ground. Benjamin knows how much I value my socks. But then I realized how much he valued one thing: his Transformers collection.

If I was a typical fan, I wouldn’t mess with it, but that is if I was one. So stealthily trekking across the house, aka just walking straight towards the room titled the Vault, I was near my destination. I reached forward and-

“Ruben! I was looking for you.”

Sigh, why does everyone have to scream my name? “What do you want mother?”

The bright cheerful woman I called a mom reached for me, but I casually brushed her off.

“Oh Ruben,” again she yelled out my name, “do you need you hearing aids checked?”

“No I-“

“Look, you’re a nineteen year old girl now, that means you have more responsibilities. Including to yourself. Now be honest and tell me do they need to be checked.”

If we’re being honest right now, I’m wondering why this basterd cares so much about my life. “Look mother, I have some business, so can you please move out of my way.”

She knew as much as I did that it wasn’t a question, and reluctantly stepped aside. Finally, closing my hand around the knob, I entered the Vault. Hundreds of collectible items from posters and vinyl to dvds and figures.

I intended to hold one of Ben’s precious items hostage, just to see the horrified look on his face. That’ll teach him to mess with me.

But as if sensing my devious plan, I felt his presence, like a shadow in the wind.

“Ruben don’t do this, just think about what you’re doing.”

Ignoring him, I reached out and grabbed a leader class movie Optimus Prime from Revenge of Whatever. I didn’t really care, but I bet he did. Admiring the figure, I slowly turned. The look on his face was priceless.

“Put it back you son of a glitch.”

“No, I don’t want to, you see this is what happens if you mess with me again.” I grabbed something vital. “Revenge. Is. Mine.”

He had a look on his face, the one that he has when he’s gushing over fictional robots. I’d probably just unintentionally quoted something from one of the franchises. And as much as I wanted to see him suffer, he was still my younger twin. So I decided to have mercy and put the figure back in its original place.

“Thank you Ruben.”

I twitched, all these years I tolerated these fools yelling out my name, but I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Benjamin Paige Taylor I swear if you tell out my name one more time…”

He understood the message clearly. “Fine,” he held out his hand, “Ruben Owen Taylor, I promise not to yell out your name anymore.”

I shook it, “I accept your promise.”

Chapter Text

I woke up from my slumber and reached out for my phone on the built-in table on my level of the bunk bed. Annoyed, I wondered who it was, until I saw the name “Gummy Queen”. Slowly, I answered and put the device near my ear. “What.”


“Ruby!”


I cringed, and momentarily my twin brother twitched. Shit, he was awake now.


“Don’t call me that… where’s Lance?”


Shuffling, “She’s not here,” I could tell she was smiling very psychotically, “I’m aaallll alone.”


Damn Lance, that traitor.


“Did you have any sweets?” I already knew the answer.
“Absolutely not little pig, I didn’t have any type of sweet sugary goodness.”


Hmm, time to test that, “Gummy bears.”


Silence, “… Gummies? May I please have some?” It sounded like a whimper, and if I were actually there she’d give me wide innocent cat eyes. But it was a trick just to get more of her addiction.
“You have nothing to say to me, what a waste of time. Oh, and your girlfriend will be dispatched to contain you.” I hung up before she got a chance to say something. But since she was a childhood friend, I had mercy on her and decided not to call Lance. Matter fact, I’ve been kind of merciful lately. What was happening to me? Maybe my mother isn’t doing the job these days. She practically almost knows how to bend my will into her will.


“Sis, twin, compadre, Ruby, little pi-“
I silenced my now active twin with my favorite pillow… favorite pillow?
“Thanks little pig, now just roll up in your blanket, if you know what I mean.”
I swear he dies today.



Transformation.


“I got the components. Am I done now?”


“Hmm, yes Sideways, for now.”


“… You little pesky cyber-mouse, I’m not doing your dirty work anymore Overcast.”
The designated Overcast turned around and swiped at Sideways, but failed due to the smaller bot’s speed. “Do you realize you piece of trash, that this is the moment I’ve been waiting for? I almost have it perfected, the machine that allows the transportation through dimensions.” Overcast’s adopted German accent got more pronounced the more he got excited. Sideways himself was almost impressed, until he got a look at the device.


“All of this, for that tiny thing!”
The Con changed his servos into chainsaws and charged at the scientist. He was so close, until something appeared out of nowhere and kicked him.


Hard.


“Az expected Zidewayz, yu failed tsu notice my twin’z geniuz.”


Pulling himself up, he found himself looking up at Dreadwing.


“Grr. Is that thing safe?”


“Yes of course,” instantly like nothing happened, Overcast was happy again, “Your final mission, as you promised, is to test it out.”
He did promise that, “Well if it backfires?”


“If it backfires, nothing happens, but the dimensional spectrum will unconsciously incorporate the target universe unto our own… well, some of it.”



After saying goodbye to my dad Franklin, and ignoring my mother Taffy, the idiot twin and I found ourselves in the neighborhood park.
Sighing in unison, we both took in the peaceful air, the only time where we didn’t try to kill each other. Looking around the surprisingly empty park, I managed to see someone that looked like…


“Lance!”


The woman in question stopped abruptly and turned, that human in her grip looked like Britney.


“Ruben.”


“You forgot to completely call out her name! Or call her li-“ I managed to hit my twin, but he flipped magnificently onto the ground. That athletic bastard.


I looked up to see Lance dragging Britney, her girlfriend. Or as everyone likes to call her, “Gummy Queen”.


“Why are you pulling her like that?” My voice dripping with some kind of undertone of delight. Lance, however, seemed like she just remembered she was there.


“Oh this? I found her at my mom’s.”
My eyes widened in surprise, and Ben beat me to my question. “How? Your mom lives five miles away.”


“It’s amazing what the powers of gummies can do to you.” Britney chimed in.
She must’ve ate Lifesavers. They somehow give her the magical ability to have better endurance and agility.


Someone began to speak, but was cutoff by the sudden burst of surprisingly nonthreatening burst of static electricity. The blinding light that came after it was almost nauseating, and barely after it was done, a barely noticeable Audi came barreling towards me. By some split of luck, Ben managed to push me out the way.
When the light was gone, he did that astonished gasp he did when he saw something interesting.
“Hey sis, that car looks like Sideways!”
I burst, “That fucking car that looks like Sideways almost ran over your fucking twin!”
He seemed taken back by my statement for a second.


“Ohh."

But then he lit up again, "My sis almost got ran over by Sideways!"

 

Chapter Text

"Proč myslíš, že tyhle ... hmyz budeš držet?"

“Here goes Ruination again, why’d you always have to torture us! Zabij tych ludzi!”

The one called Incinerator walked up to us, a mischievous glint on his optic obviously visible from his visor.

”Or better yet let me dropm' from the sky. "Będą zabawne torebki."

Ben leaned next to me, ”I didn’t know Incinerator like finishing his final sentences in another language.”

I jabbed him with my elbow, “You’re the Transformers expert, and how the fuck do you not know Polish?”

He raised his hands in mock surrender, “Well I’m sorry for not paying attention in school.” The longer I sat here, the more I considered that Con’s offer. At least if it meant to get away from Ben’s annoying sarcasm.

“Ruhig! Aufmerksamkeit! Overcast haz announcment to make.“

Dreadwing somehow managed to effectively silence the whole group. It work worked for a second, until…

"Aw se s vámi všichni," Ruination began complaining, his actions similar to a teenager, but he calmed himself down, "Nevím, proč jsem s tebou stále chodit."

-

30 minutes prior

Well fuck.

This.

Shit.

I guess you could’ve say that the situation kind of went sideways. The situation transformed quite literally when the Audi actually hit a transformer in its robot mode.

The truth is that I should be shocked by these events, but I wasn’t. This complicated Rubik’s Cube almost killed me! And that was all that mattered.

I pushed myself upward, but I couldn’t see anything beyond three feet in front of me. Instinctively, I raised one finger to my nose, the action a total indication that I didn’t have my glasses.

Fu-

“Hey, you dropped this.“

Lance held up said object while pulling up to stand. That girl really was average hero.

During the distraction, the robot decided to take a break from his brief hiatus and pulled himself together.

I didn’t know what the others thinking about precisely when I caught myself gazing at who Ben had called Sideways. And he had the audacity to stare right back… at my right shoulder, where I think he was examining the obvious Deception tattoo. The insignia was there because Ben put it there while I was asleep.

“Interesting“ was all the little freak said when he charged at us. Lance, under shock, went completely stiff, and I saw a blow heading straight fo-

-

Grogginess is what greeted me when I first regained consciousness. Another thing that greeted me was noise, distinctive Czech language if I recalled.

"Na boku, ty hloupý kurva, proč jsi to měl dělat?"

While whoever was finishing the sentence, a feminine touch, very Lance like, gained my attention.

“Can you translate that?”

It was Lance who whispered that with a soft voice, and with my wonderful hearing aids, managed to listen to the conversation.

“He said something along the lines of ‘Sideways you stupid little fuckface piece of shit-“

“Ruben…”

“Alright,” I whispered with an irritated tone, “,he said ‘Sideways you stupid fuck, why did you do it?”

As if on cue, the Audi dryly asked, “Do what?”

Giant footsteps came over to us, and I thought I could fool them by-

“Soo cool.”

My eyes instantly snapped open, my body immediately rose, my head twisted almost inhumanly. Benjamin, the fool that he was, is standing up without a care in the world, and a grey robot that probably turned into a helicopter of some kind, took one step forward.

Oh hecks no, if someone had the pleasure of killing my idiot twin, it was going to be me.

So in one fell swoop, I sloppily sweep kicked his legs from under him, and made it very clear to keep his butt in check.

The grey bot recoiled in surprise, and Sideways didn’t care at all. He watched as the grey bot stalked off somewhere in this… factory surrounded by a forest. Not a minute later, another similar, but different bot came out with grey bot. He too had helicopter parts, one from presumably an Osprey. Grey bot then continued his rant. Sideways then walked up to Osprey bot, now dubbed Incinerator. And grey bot still continued to rant about us.

"Proč myslíš, že tyhle ... hmyz budeš držet?"

“Here goes Ruination again, why’d you always have to torture us! Zabij tych ludzi!”

The one called Incinerator walked up to us, a mischievous glint on his optic obviously visible from his visor.

”Or better yet let me dropm' from the sky. Będą zabawne torebki."

Ben leaned next to me, ”I didn’t know Incinerator like finishing his final sentences in another language.”

I jabbed him with my elbow, “You’re the Transformers expert, and how the fuck do you not know Polish?”

He raised his hands in mock surrender, “Well I’m sorry for not paying attention in school.” The longer I sat here, the more I considered that Con’s offer. At least if it meant to get away from Ben’s annoying sarcasm.

“Ruhig! Aufmerksamkeit! Overcast haz announcment to make.“

Dreadwing somehow managed to effectively silence the whole group. It work worked for a second, until…

""Nechci s vámi kluci," Ruination began complaining, his actions similar to a teenager, but he calmed himself down, "já nevím, proč s tebou ještě povídám."

I turned away from the drama to check on the other two who were still laying down. It turns out Lance and Britney were conversing all this time. How they were unoticable I didn’t know, but now my biggest concern was this Overcast. Figuratively and Literally in every sense of the word.