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Daddy Dare I

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Hey guys, I had originally posted this on, and I still will be updating, but I also wanted to be working from Ao3 because I know a lot of people prefer it here (and im starting to also!)


Dave had never tried any sort of job like this. He had worked a fast food restaurants and cafe's but never... this.


“All your test results came back negative, so that's all good. All the paper work is filled out... aaand your photos have been posted on the website. Viewers have taken a few polls as to who they want to see you with so we're going to let you take a look at the results and decide through a little bit of speed dating trials.”


Dave nodded as he took in the information. He was horribly nervous. He tried to remember everyone's name and face. He peaked down at his name tag that read plainly, “Dad,” probably a nickname derived from various names he's most likely been called by in his life in the industry. He led him to a big door that led to a small bar.

“Start here and spend 5 minutes with each guy. Write down things you like about them, personality and appearance wise, and we'll narrow down the results to one guy once you're done.” He patted his back. “From there, you'll go over your limits and things with whomever you choose and get the rest of the paper work and your portfolio filed away.”


He gave a nervous smile as he entered a room of various men. He sat down at the closest table and the man introduced himself. He has a wonderful smile and lit up his friendly face.


“Hi, I'm Jake English.” he leaned in and shook his hand. He smirked when he felt the boys shaking, clammy hand in his.


“First job in the industry?”

Dave nodded. “I'm just not making enough money, you know?”


“Oh, I get it. I had the same problem when I first moved away. The company has a special program for the best of their boys, though. We all live in a dorm together. It's under strict rule, but you don't have to worry about being supported. You get food, water, shelter, a pay-check and security. It's a good program! Maybe you'll be hanging around some day, who knows? You'vedefinitely got aesthetic potential.” The last sentence came out slyly.


“O-Oh, thanks.” he replied all hot and bothered.




He was undeniably attractive – a soft tan, and toned body. He wrote it down, illegibly so Jake wouldn't notice, although he was nearly positive he did.


“So... what made you want to get into the 'biz'?” He asked.


“Boiling angst, for the most part. I turned 18, and instead of listening to my parents bitch about me not having a job by I went and got myself a job, just like they wanted.”


If he had ever, ever even thought of pulling something like that while he was living with his parents... “they must have killed you.” He gasped.


Jake chuckled. “Yeah, they hated my guts for it, for sure. They don't mind now – well, I'm sure they do, but they aren't as vocal about it.”


“How old are you now?”


“22. What about you?”




“Oh? Fresh out of high school. Trying to pay through college?”


“Hah, just trying to survive. I got kicked out of my parents place.”


“Man, must be tough.”


“I guess. I've been working 3 part times. Well... I guess 2, depending on how you see it.”


“Oh? What do you do?”


“Well, I work at this wifi cafe downtown-”


“The WI-nding FI-ive?” Jake interjected.


“Yeah! You go there?”


“Nah, used to work there. It's a nice place!”


“It's pretty cool. Shit pay, though.”


“It could definitely be better.” he laughed, halfheartedly.


Dave felt a little better now, after talking to him. He was a loose, upbeat guy and seemed to know the ropes and tricks of the trade. He was really friendly and it made him feel comfortable about the situation.


“So what are your other jobs?”


“I deliver pizza... and make music on the side.”


“Music?! Man, that's pretty cool! What kind?”


Dave smiled, delighted that he didn't get that old-timey response: “Music? Ahh, man, that's not a real job! What are you going to do with music?”


“I dabble. One genre's not my thing. You can check out my stuff online.” He scribbled down his website on the side of his thumb. Their timer rang, startling them both. They shook hands again. “I'll definitely look you up. I don't think I caught your name, what was it again?”


“Strider. Dave Strider.”


Jake nearly choked. “Strider? Is that your real name?!”


“Uhh, yeah. I guess it's sort of dumb...”


“No! No, no, it's not that. It's just not a common name. We've got another Strider here...” He nudged in the other Strider's direction.


Fuck. Not this guy...


“Are you guys related?” he whispered inquisitively.


“ U-Uhh...Not really... it's by marriage. He was my step brother but our parents divorced. The court suggested that since we were both of age when the divorce occurred, that we should just move out so we did. We never really talked. We stayed in our rooms and away from each other. To be honest, I don't really know him that well. ”


“Damn. Well, good luck. I hope we'll be seeing more of each other.” Jake gave a slick wink and Dave smiled and went to the next table. He introduced himself to a much stranger guy.


“Gamzee.” He said before Dave could speak. “Um, Dave.”


“Look, I'm not the greatest conversationalist so just be straight up, and ask any questions you got.”


Dave cleared his throat nervously, looking over to Jake who was already flirting with another guy, just as charmingly. He sighed. Gamzee noticed and followed his gaze.


“Got you're eyes on Jake, I see? Don't bother. He's got so many lined up to kiss his ass. He's a collector.”


“What's... a collector?”


“He has multiple... 'submissives.' He's not really a dominate or anything, people just tend to crawl up to him and beg for his cock, you know?


Dave frowned. “Oh.”


Ah, shit. The boss warned him not to discourage the new guy. “Uhh... if it helps... I'm looking for a new sub.” He cleared his throat and looked away, towards a boy in the corner, who returned his dark glare. “That's Karkat. He's my ex-sub. Well, not exactly 'ex'. You're usually stuck with someone for a while once you choose them. He's not exactly... obedient, the little shit.”


Karkat read his lips and snarled. He got up and pulled a chair up to their table and leaned his elbow on the surface, cutting off their view of each other.


“Hi, I'm Karkat.” He said snarkily, ending with a grunt as Gamzee grabbed the leg of his chair and flipped him over.


“Ignore the bitch.” He said, rolling his eyes.

Dave giggled. “You guys ended up matched with each other?”


“Yeah, I didn't know he was such a dick back then!” Karkat grumbled from the floor as he sat up.


“That's why you've gotta choose carefully. Jake is the player, one of the best, too. Gamzee's a control freak-”


“And Karkat needs to learn to take it up the ass every now and then.”


Karkat stomped on his foot from under the table, hissing profanities under his breath. He turned back to Dave.


“Johns enough twink that he could put 'Twinkies' back in business.” They both snorted to themselves sharing a look as if to say,'nailed it' as they flashed a quick look to the shy looking boy who peered from behind squared frames and lenses. Maybe he was just his type, he thought hopefully.


“Then there's Strider... not much to say. I think we all gave him a run at one point but couldn't take it. He's... rough.. he's... ”


“He's 'Daddy.'”


“A what?” Gamzee laughed at the reference.


“He's a Daddy dom. It's... hard to explain.” He cringed as if some dark, past experience haunted his mind. Dave gulped.


“So what are you into?” Karkat said, picking up from his brief moment of dark recall.


“Uhh... music. I really like old kung-fu flicks-”


The two scoffed. “No dude. Not that kind of stuff. What are your favorite sex toys? Hitachi?”


“The twister?” Gamzee pondered. “Oooh, do you deep throat?” He said as if he sunk into some deep, perverse dream.


Dave choked on his own spit. “Actually, guys, I've never tried any of this stuff... especially with other guys...”


Gamzee and Karkat stared at him with disbelief.


“ARE YOU KIDDING!?” Karkat burst out. Gamzee covered his mouth before he attracted attention.


“You mean... ever? Like... you're a virgin? What about girls?”


“Ever. Not even girls. I mean... I've jerked off before, but... the end. That's where I've stopped.”


Gamzee flushed red. “Okay guy, defffinitely DON'T, DO NOT, AND HEED MY WARNING, choose Strider. He'll butcheryou!” He hissed under his breath. “Choose.... uhh.. John! Choose John, he'll let you do what ever.”


“Hell, choose Jake.”


Gamzee leaned in and winked, “Choose me.” He whispered.


Karkat quickly fought his advances. The timer rang and they still bickered. Dave laughed and shook their hands before his stomach dropped as he realized that all the other tables were taken by other potential employees – all except Strider's. He sat in the corner on his mp3 player, the familiar album art reflecting off the lenses of those ridiculous glasses. He sighed and sat at his table. Gamzee and Karkat looked over the shoulder of their current subject with pleading expressions. They mouthed the words“Don't do it!”


“Dirk, right?” He finally said. Dirk looked up, pulling the buds of his head phones from his ears. The corner of his mouth turned up into a smirk and the reflection of the artwork from his mp3 disappeared as he turned it off.


“Oh my God.” He said with little surprise in his tone.“Little Dave Strider.”


Dave cringed. “Hi.”


“Moving out go to shit?”


“Yeah, you could say that. What about you?”


“Nah. Just got bored.” He said simply. He turned his head towards the troublesome duo whom he called, “the trolls”. Karkat and Gamzee quickly diverted their attention and turned pale. “Well, let's get down to business. I'm not looking for a one week sub deal, only to have you back out. I'm a challenge, and you're going to need to step up to it.”


Dave nodded.


“Listen, you're a pretty tough kid. I remember pushing you around. You can take it. Give me a try, come on.”


“Don't you think it'd be sort of weird!? Honestly, Dirk. We were related once!” Dave hissed.


“By marriage, chill out. The only thing we have in common is my last name.”


'It's your fathers you cocky piece of shit.' Dave thought to himself.


“Look, Dave... I've got things to offer you, too... let's get to know each other. It's not an empty deal.”


He remembered Dirk as the big bad wolf and the noisy step brother, not the “get to know each other” kind of guy.


“You don't look like the type of guy that's into cock.”


Dirk furrowed his brows. “You mean a homosexual? You don't look like the type either... but you will be. Give it 2, maybe 2 ½ months and you'll be a little whore. You'll be perfect for the job. I'll recommend you.”


Dave grew red with anger. He growled and pushed his glasses up on his nose and standing to leave.

Gamzee and Karkat watched from a distance. Their other boy had left.


“Shit. He's got him.” Karkat sighed.


“Poor dude.” Jake said as he over heard them. They looked over and shook their heads in unison. They all groaned as Dirk managed to get him to sit back down. Their timer rang and Dad came and took Dave back into his office again. He gave Dirk a small nod as he left.



~ o0o ~


“So... who do you like the best? Feel a spark with any of them?”


Dave coughed. “Well... Jake is definitely the most charming. He's... he's pretty handsome and welcoming, too. Gamzee and Karkat... are different, that's for sure.”


“Oh yes. They work very well together.” Dad added. He sure did enjoy their angry little performances. Dave put it off.


“I didn't get a chance to get with John, though he seems a little withdrawn... he was suggested.”


“And what about Strider? Did you like him?”


“He's... alright.”


Dad jotted down his notes and filed them into his portfolio. “So, I'm assuming that you've chosen Jake, then?”


“No. Not Jake.”


“Oh? Who, then?”


Dave took in a deep breath and swallowed hard. His brows furrowed with disappointment in self.

I want Strider.”


Chapter Text

"So, basically," Dirk explained, "we go easy on new guys for their first night. You don't have to worry about what I'll be doing because I'll guide you." He pulled him into the room they would be using to film. There was a large monitor planted on the wall and it was connected to multiple cameras around the room. Dirk pointed them out.


"On the site, we'll be shown at different angles. That's why we have so many cameras. The only time we should have actual camera men in the room with us is if we're doing photo shoots or making an actual movie and not doing a live show."


He pulled out a drawer from the bedside table. It was filled with various toys. Dave tried not to seem flustered when he realized this, but Dirk saw right threw him. He picked up a purple vibrator and turned it on. The tip of it begin to swirl. "We'll use this tonight. Gamzee said you've never done this before so it should be the perfect size t-"

"He told you!?" he sputtered.

"Sort of."


'Sort of.' Whatever that meant.


"Let's get a few things straight first." Dirk said, seriousness taking over his expression. "We do a lot of role-play and BDSM and bondage here.’Stop' doesn't always mean ''stop''. We use the red light system. You say 'Green' when you want more, want it faster or deeper, 'Yellow' when you need me to be more gentle, and 'Red' when you need me to stop for a moment. Got it?"


"Yeah." Dave mumbled, quieter than he intended.


"Like I said before, don't worry about it. The only thing going up your ass tonight is this." he said, shaking the vibrator at him.


Dad walked in and reminded them that the show started in 15 minutes. They went to their separate dressing rooms. Dave washed his face and tried to keep his heart from pounding out of his chest. There was a knock on the door. He looked towards it and let out a shaking breath.


"Come in."


Jake walked in and patted his shoulder. "You look nervous, Strider."


Dave nodded his head. "I'm freaking out, man."


Jake pulled out a little blue pill from his pocket. "Take this, you'll relax."


Dave didn't ask questions; that's how nervous he was. He took his word and put the pill on his tongue, taking a sip of water and swallowing it. It left a nasty, bitter taste in his mouth. He grimaced.


"Don't forget to breathe. He knows what he's doing, there shouldn't be any problems. Just... don't choke."


The last two words echoed in his mind, even after Jake left the room. Dad came back to let him know it was time and Dave got up, shaking at the knees, and met Dirk in their room. He was already interacting with the viewers. He greeted him and pulled him closer, showing him off to the camera like a trophy. He checked the microphone and fixed the settings before he introduced Dave to the 3,694 viewers watching as "The new Strider." They went through the questions about their last name and then Dave began to feel giggly and relaxed, even as Dirk gripped his hips and popped the waistband of his boxers. It must have been the effects of whatever Jake had given him.


He felt Dirks lips on his neck. They traveled up, below his ear, and the down, to his collar bone. He sat in his lap and reached back to wrap his arms around his neck. Dirks hands slid under his shirt and up his sides. He had never realized how nice skin felt against skin. The corners of his mouth turned up as he gave into the drug and let Dirk take full control. The older man slid his shirt over his head and threw it onto the floor. His fingers slid over his nipples, which stiffened as the cold air met his skin. He gasped as Dirk nipped the skin on his neck.

Dirk picked him up and sat on the bed, letting Dave slide between his legs. He leaned in and took his face in his hands, kissing his soft lips. He unzipped his pants and freed his cock. There was a panicked voice in the back of his head where the rest of "himself" lingered. He admired his length – it's thickness and the bulging vein that ran up the side. The head of it was decorated with a silver ring. His mind drifted to what Jake had said earlier. "Don't choke."


The tip of his dick brushed across his lips, beckoning them to open and let him in.


"D-Dirk..." he whimpered, taking his cock in his hand.


Dirk smiled down at him with a sort of slick look in his eye. "Open your mouth, baby."


Dave obeyed, hesitantly. He let his jaw relax and fall open, sticking out his tongue. Dirk took his face in his hands and lowered him down onto his cock. Dave gagged around him and he stopped so he could gather himself. His hands went to his hips as he struggled to breathe for a brief moment. Dirk pulled him off suddenly and Dave went into a coughing frenzy. As soon as he recovered, Dirk went in again, filling his throat with his length. He took a hand from the back of his neck and brushed his cheek reassuringly. He pulled out of his mouth again and pulled him up into the bed. He tore off his pants and his boxers and left him on all fours in front of the cameras.

 He blushed madly, trying to hide his embarrassment. Dirk crawled in behind him and spread his cheeks, running a single digit across the tight hole.

Dave jumped at the slight touch. He could hear the bigger man chuckle. He gave the boys ass a hard smack. He gasped and looked back at him. He put one of his knees between his legs and used one arm to push his face into the mattress.


"Keep your ass up." he demanded. He spanked his cheek and Dave yelped out. "This is what you sighed up for, baby." He gave him another hard smack before he leaned in and trailed kisses down his spine. "You can take it." He whispered in his ear. "This is me being gentle. You'll be a complete slut by the time you're on my level. You'll crave me. You'll be calling me every night to have me satisfy you because no one else can."


He slapped his pale skin once more before he released him leaned down to his ass. His tongue trailed around the tight ring of muscle. Dave voiced his surprise.


"Dirk!" he gasped, pulling away.


He reached up and grabbed Dave by the hair causing him to squirm. "Do I need to punish you? Are you going to behave yourself? Do you need another spanking?"


"No..." Dave whispered.


" Good boy." He grabbed his jaw and kissed him roughly.


Dave's heart was throbbing rapidly and Dirk could feel it. It shook his body. He slid his fingers into the tight hole and carefully began to stretch him out. Dave moaned and reached backwards towards Dirk. His hand met his.


"Does it hurt?" He asked "Or do you want more?"


Dave answered only with a moan. Dirk shoved his fingers in deeper and finally found the little knot inside of him that was guaranteed to push him into ecstasy. He pressed against it and Dave lost control. Dirk smiled and pulled his fingers out. He turned him over, reached for the lube and covered the vibrator in the slick liquid. He poured some on his entrance before he eased it inside of him, turning it on. Dave's back arched as he cried out. Dirk pushed it all the way in him and then pulled him up. Dave wrapped his arms around him.


"If you want it to hit your sweet spot then you have to move your hips." He kissed him and took his cock into his hand, stroking it gently. Dave grinded his hips against him.


" Good boy, Strider. Show me what a good slut you're gonna be. Tell me how much you want me."


"I'll be a good whore! I'll be your little slut! Oh God! I-I need you. Please, Dirk..." Dave spread little kisses across his face, following the trail that his freckles led. He made his way to his lips. He moaned into the kiss, his eyes growing wide. Dirk could feel him heat up in his arms. He cried out and melted into him as he squirted cum across his chest. He let Dave fall back onto the bed, his body shaking from his orgasm. Dirk straddled his chest, and finished himself off.


"Open," he grunted with a vociferous tone. He waited patiently before he came on his face. It surprised him and he gasped quietly. Dirk ran his finger through the cream and slipped it into Dave's open mouth. The bitter-sweet taste dominated his sense of taste. Dave sat up to surprise him and brought him into a kiss, covering his lips in his own cum. Dirk returned the small affection, his fingers slipping into his hair and pulling him closer.


They could hear the cheers of the other boys who had been watching outside on the hall monitors. The show was over. Dirk pulled the vibrator from his ass and laid on top of the exhausted boy.


"Good job, Striders." Dad said, as he walked in applauding. He pulled out a wipe and wiped the cum from his face. Dave sat up. Dirk stood and stretched, walking out of the room like it was nothing.


Dave didn't know what to do. He sat on the bed for a moment while Dad explained a few after procedure things to him.


"Go with Jake, and he'll examine you and make sure you're alright and then you can go home. You have another shoot with Dirk two weeks from now, but feel free to stop by if you have questions or need advice or anything else."


Dave nodded drowsily and Jake brought him a towel and led him back into the dressing room. Dave didn't speak. In fact, he was still feeling the side effects of the drug and the sleepy, blurry after math of the orgasm.


"So why'd you choose Strider?" Jake asked as he carefully looked him over, poking and prodding at his body.


"I want something new, you know." He answered, shrugging it off.


"Incest? Way to shoot high!" Jake laughed, obviously being sarcastic.


Dave cringed. "Fuck, no! Don't call it that! We're not related by blood! Our DNA is completely different! It's our parents fault. It was one of those Vegas things, you know? Run off and get married, wake up in bed with a stranger one day, get divorced and start over."


"Are you two very close?"


"No. Not a bit. He picked on me a lot, that's about it. He's sort of a bully."

Jake smirked and nodded in agreement. "Then why him, man? Everyone wants to know why. Today was a courtesy. If you think you're tired tonight, wait until two weeks from now. Wait until a year from how. Hell, just 6-months from now. You'll be exhausted."


The emphasis he put on the word worried him deeply. He wasn't sure why he chose Dirk, now that he thought about it. Maybe it was something he had said. It could have been his sweet, but bossy play on words or the way he promised him that he would get something out of it. Maybe Dave was into that. He shrugged and Jake leaned in close to him.


"Most of his subs quit. Don't say we didn't warn you when you get hurt. He's not the most caring person. It's hard to get anything out of him. He'll fuck you, drain you, and leave you there."

Dave could hardly comprehend what he was saying anymore. His eyes where half lidded with a deep slumber fighting for control. He took in all the words but they didn't sink in or make much sense at the moment.


"You sound like you know him well."


"I Dated him. Once."


Dave snorted. "Really?"


"Yeah, it was uhh... it was a thing. Do you need a ride home? It's no problem. You look way too tired to drive or take a bus or something."


" Nah, man. It's fine. I can just-"


"No, dude, you look pretty fried. Get dressed. I'll get my keys."


Dave eased into his pants (his ass was sore from the spankings – and having the vibrator inside of him), slid his shirt on and met him in the hall. They rode the elevator down to the garage and Dave programed the GPS in his phone to his apartment. He slowly drifted off to sleep in Jake's car, with the hum of the car as a sort of lullaby.


Meanwhile, Dirk was settling into his dorm. He shed his clothes and climbed into bed, logging into the company site and replaying their little performance. He watched themselves carefully and fell asleep to the sounds of their moans.


Chapter Text


Dave groaned and rolled off the couch. As he hit the floor, his eyes opened wide. The sun was up, the city was alive and he… was late. He stood, and gasped at the slight soreness in his ass. He quickly grabbed his uniform shirt and ran out the door. Then he remembered… he left his car at the company building. He sighed, and decided to call in “sick.”


He noticed a small note on his door. It read,




Great job, tonight. Call me when you wake up and I’ll bring you your car. BTW, Dad is going to ask you and Dirk to spend “quality time” together. He likes us to know each other well. Dirk can be sort of stern and stiff, but then again, you should know that.


Good luck!”


His number was listed. He called Jake. The line rang, and rang but he finally picked up as Dave was about end the call.


“Hello?” Jake said hoarsely.


“Yo, uhh… my car is at the building. I think I left my keys there, too, soo…”


“Oh yeah… right. I’m gonna send Dirk to you with it. I’m a little sick and I’ve been advised to stay here.


Sorry about that.” He coughed.

Dave sort of cringed. For some reason, he felt a sort of fear about facing Dirk after yesterday. Sure, he had probably seen a thousand asses before his, and fucked a few other guys but he still felt strange about it.


“Yeah, that’s fine.” He lied. “Thanks, man. Hope you feel better!”


“No problem! See you at your next shoot!”


He hung up, looking around his apartment. It was messy. Gaming magazines were spread across the floor and table. There were dirty dishes piled high in the sink. It was only a fraction of the whole picture. He grumbled to himself and quickly shoved all of the magazines underneath the couch. He piled the dishes into the dish washer and ran about the room with a Febreeze bottle trying to make it not smell like stale pizza.


There were two honks from the parking lot below. Dave tripped over his own feet and stumbled to the window and saw Dirk pull into a parking space and begin to head inside. He panicked. He wondered if it looked like if he had just cleaned and smelled as if he tried too hard , or that maybe that he didn’t try hard enough. He cursed under his breath. Should he just wait at the door? I mean, it’s not like he didn’t’ know he was coming. No, then he’d seem too eager. By the time he had made a decision, Dirk was ringing his door bell. He froze and his stomach dropped.


“C-Coming!” He said in a sort of whisper-yell, to make it seemed like he wasn’t directly behind the door.


He made some stomping noises and opened the door. He tried to stay cool.


“Hey! Uhh… thanks for bringing my car.”


“No problem.” He handed him his keys and they stood there awkwardly looking at each other from behind dark shades. Dave snapped out of it and invited him in. Dirk scanned the room almost judgmentally. Dave gave a little sigh and told himself, ‘well at least you gave it a try’.


“I tried to clean up but… there wasn’t much I could do. It still smells like socks and pizza in here.”


Dirk smirked as he saw the corner of a familiar magazine stick out from under the couch. He picked it up and more slid out. Dave flushed pink and turned his head.


“Is that Game Bro?” Dirk asked. He whispered under his breath, “Man, I love Game Bro.”


Dave couldn’t tell if he were really interested or just mocking him. “Uhh… yeah I’m subscribed. I get them monthly. I’ve got a pretty big collection.” He said, bragging as he pushed the couch aside and revealed the pile of magazines. Dirks eyes lit up behind his glasses.


Dude, how long have you been subscribed!?”


“A few years, I guess.”


They sat on the floor and picked through each issue. They talked about different games and reviews and slowly the wall between them began to fall. They grew quiet after a moment and Dave began to wonder about Dirk.


“Do you have any of these?” he asked, pointing to a long list of different games. Dave took the magazine from him and began to scan the list – Each lamely named title with their 1 ½ to 4 star and reviews struck a few cords.


“Uhh.. I have that one. It’s a racing game. It’s good, but after a while it gets boring.” His eyes trailed further down the list.  “This one’s pretty cool! I think I have the beta. I downloaded it off the site when it was just a little RPG. I hear the newer version is better though. It’s a trilogy. ”


Remembering the box of old games he never played anymore, he went to the closet and dragged it out. He flipped through a bunch of them and wiped dust from their covers. Dirk picked up one that caught his eye.


“I’ve heard about this one. You have to collect 7 different seals and conquer Hell, right?”


“Yeah. That one’s cool. You wanna play? I’ve got two controllers. I could walk you through and help build you up. When you do multiplayer with a lower level player they get the same EX.P as the higher and can build up faster.”


Dirk nodded and Dave popped it into the console. He tossed him a controller and helped him build a profile. He sat on the floor in front of him and soon found him leaned against the couch between his legs. He didn’t notice and neither did Dirk, that was, until he looked down and the afternoon light shining on his skin caught his eye – and damn near blinded him. He was so pale. He seemed to reflect light, or rather, glow. His eyes diverted back and forth from the game to his skin. God, it looked so soft. How didn’t he notice last night?


“Hey, are you alright? You’re running into that wall. Are you lagging?”

Dirk quickly looked away and back at the TV screen.


“OH yeah. Must be a bad connection... Hey! It’s fixed now. It’s nothing.” He said nervously, gently nudging the thumb stick and putting his avatar back on track so that Dave wouldn’t notice. They played for an hour or two more before Dirk couldn’t stand it anymore. He paused his side of the screen and then reached down and paused Dave’s. He threw the controller to the side and pulled him into his lap, his fingers entangling in his blonde hair and kissing him roughly. Dave gasped and pulled back, his cheeks flushed and brows furrowed as if he hadn’t been expecting it. The honest truth was that he saw him in the corner of his eye, and how his eyes traveled his body and practically begged for him. He couldn’t tell exactly what he was thinking, but he definitely knew what he wanted.


“I don’t think you know what you’ve gotten yourself into.” He spoke quietly.

Dave glared at him from behind his shades, daring him to make another move. Dirk took him up on that dare, and threw him over his shoulder. His shades were knocked off.


“H-Hey! Put me down! You knocked my glasses off, man, not cool!”


Dirk opened the door to his bedroom and dropped him onto the mattress. His hands went to his eyes, hiding them from the bigger man. He could remember how he would tease him endlessly for them when he didn’t wear the brown contacts. He’d call him “bloody eyes” like he was clever or some shit.

He felt his hands gently wrap around his wrists and try and pull them away.






“Come on, I want to see them. I won’t make fun of you, I promise.”


“Yeah, and dogs definitely don’t bark.”


Dirk snorted and let go. “I’ve got a secret too… show me yours and I’ll show you mine.”

Dave didn’t know what he meant. He heard a clicking, as if he had closed his glasses. He heard them get tossed against the pillows at the top of the bed. Dirk climbed onto the bed, hovering over him. He nudged his hands away from his face and waited for his lids to peel back and his red irises meet his deep purple ones. He let out a little gasp as the realized that his eyes were a strange color too.




Dirk smirked to himself.


Dave suddenly punched him in the chest. “Ow! What was that for you little shit!?”


“That was for all those years you made fun of me when we were kids… fairy eyes...”

They both snorted. Dirk took a moment to admire the little freckles spread across his face and they left a trail that led him to his lips. He kissed the corner of his mouth, and lightly beckoned his lips open with his tongue. Wrapping his arms around his waist, he pulled him up and pressed his body against his as he balanced on his knees.


“Are you sore today?” He asked between kisses.


Dave breathlessly replied. “My ass hurts.”


Dirk smiled as an opportunity arose. He let Dave fall back and hit the bed again. He rolled him onto his stomach and slowly pulled down his pants, letting the shock sink in.


“Do you want daddy to kiss it better?” He said in a low tone. His fingers slid beneath the waist band of his underwear and slid them over his ass and down his legs. Dave’s lips were slightly parted as if he had frozen as he was about to say something but the words escaped him. “Hmm? Do you? Say ‘Yes, please.’ ”

“Y-Yes… please…”


“Say, ‘Yes, please… daddy’.”


Now he knew exactly what Karkat meant.


Dirk leaned in and gave his taint a little lick. Dave bit his lip as he fought back a groan. He failed and it came out despite his sealed lips.


“Yes, daddy! Please…”


Dirk smiled at his reaction, but wanted more. He pushed his face into the mattress so only his ass was in the air. He pulled Dave’s hands behind his back. “I can’t hear you very well, you’ll have to speak up.”


“I said please!”


Dirk slapped his ass and left a big red mark on the pale skin. Dave yelped out.


“Louder. I want the neighbors to hear you.” Dave flushed pink and cried out again.


“Oh god, daddy, please!”


“That’s better, baby.” He pulled his shirt up and trailed kisses down his spine and ended up at his ass again. He spread his cheeks and gave the still-tight hole a little kiss. His tongue began to lightly rim around the tight little ring. Dave’s voice cracked as he mumbled to himself.


Dave dug his nails into the sheets and began to grind his ass against his tongue. It felt like heaven and Dirk loved watching him squirm, and whimper and sweat, even after only one night. Dave felt embarrassed and delighted all at once. He reached back and Dirk filled the spaces between his fingers with his own. He kissed the pale cheeks and pulled back to admire his ass. It made him drool; it was perfect. He wanted to just –


His phone began to ring. He huffed outwardly and pulled away, digging in his pocket for it. He answered.


“I’m busy.”


Dave turned and looked back at him. He could vaguely hear the mumbling of the person on the other line.


Dirk sighed. “Yeah, fine. I’ll be there in 30 minutes.”


Dave was disappointed. Were they done now? Just like that!? He rolled over and gave him a desperate look as he hung up the phone.


“I’ve got to go.”


“Yeah? I kind of drew that conclusion. ”


They frowned at each other for a while in another awkward silence. The sounds of traffic in the city filled the air.


“It’s rush hour.” Dirk noted. “I better get going.”


“I uhh… I could just… give you a ride.”


“No, it’s fine. I’ll catch a cab.”


They stood once more before Dirk leaned in not sure whether to hug him, kiss him, or even shake his hand. They settled on an awkward “bro” hug/shake before he began to leave.


“Thanks… for that…” Dave grumbled.


“Yeah, it’s cool.” He nodded him off and closed the door behind him. Dave stood in his living room, naked and sort of confused. His cock was as hard as Easter Island statues. That was the first thing in his head, and it sounded dumb, but he needed to rid himself of that awful, hard, throbbing. His hand went straight to work, massaging the stiffness out of the shaft, bringing himself closer and closer to ecstasy. He sank into the couch cushions and began to cry out his name.


“Ah! Hnnng… Dirk!”


He gasped and let out a long moan as he came on his own chest. His heart bumped against his rib cage. He took a tissue and wiped the cum from his skin. He was upset that Dirk just walked out – just like the night before. He was still unsure and uncomfortable with the whole porn star thing. He had questions to ask him… and he wanted to see more of the Dirk that had been revealed to him earlier.

Curious Dirk; kind Dirk, who liked to play video games and who would count the freckles on your face and smile to himself – that Dirk had always been there hiding behind those dark shades and his stiff emotionless face.


Chapter Text

“I need twelve large pizzas! Three supreme, three pepperoni, three vegetarian and three pineapple!”


‘Jesus fuck’ Dave thought to himself. ‘Who the fuck needs that many pizzas? Must be a big party.’ He looked at his watch.


11:30 p.m.


He yawned. Just 30 minutes left and he could go home and hit the sack. Just thinking about bed made sleepy drool drip from the corner of his mouth. He wasn’t sure he even had the energy to shower or, hell, even take off his clothes. Maybe he would just sleep in his uniform…


“Hey! Strider! Deliver these, will you? ” Rose said shoving 6 boxes of pizza into his arms before he could answer. She carried the other half to his car.


“Uhh, yeah. Sure.”


He put them in the backseat and made sure they wouldn’t fall. He looked over the address and programmed it into his GPS and backed out of the parking lot, rushing onto the light traffic. No one was out on the streets, or driving around. It was almost strange. Did he miss the apocalypse or something?

He was going a few miles over the speed limit, but there were no cops out, or so he hoped. All he wanted was to get there and get home and so help him God, he would break the law to do it. If the GPS was right, his destination was only a few blocks away.

It was a big place and oddly colored. He could see people on the balcony dancing and hollering about. 


He went up to the door and before he could knock or ring the doorbell, a familiar face opened the door.


“Pizza deliv- Jake?!”


“Heeeyy mannn!” Jake answered, his slurred words elongated and coated in the smell of beer. He was definitely drunk. “That’s right, you’re a pizza delivery boy!”


“Y-Yeah… here’s your pizza.” He handed the boxes to him and recited his order. As the smell of the food hit them people inside gave a cheer and scurried to Jakes side to “give him a hand” with all those heavy boxes of pizza. Once Dave came back from his second trip to the car and handed off the food, Jake pulled him into the party.


“Aw, dude! I can’t stay! I really can’t. I-I have a shoot with Dirk the day after tomorrow. I really need my rest!” Dave protested.


“Come on! You can party for a bit! In fact, this can be your initiation party!” He pulled Dave through the crowd and stood on the coffee table that decorated the middle of the living area. He unplugged the stereo for a moment and the crowd silenced with disappointment.


“Hey everyone,” Jake yelled, stumbling and nearly falling off the table. “This is Dave Strider! Dirk’s little brother!”


Dave elbowed him in the side and hissed up at him, “He’s not my brother!”


Jake seemed to not hear him. “He’s new at the company! This is his welcome party!”


Everyone applauded and smiled and it was like the first day of school, except everyone was in their twenties and late teens, were shit faced and some even porn stars. The music filled the room again and Jake dragged him around, introducing him to everyone in sight. He’d been to high school parties and even invited to a few college frat parties, but this was a new kind of crazy. The couch was upside down, and everyone knew things were crazy when the couch was upside down.

Even so, Dave really just wanted to go to bed – until he head a familiar beat… was that his remix? His eyes widened and he turned to Jake with a big smile.


“I made a playlist with your stuff for the party so everyone could hear it! You’re really good! You should send it to some local stations; see if they can play it. ”


“Man, thanks! This is great!” Dave said gratefully.


“What? I can hardly hear you! Let’s go upstairs!” Jake yelled over the music.


Dave got the gist of what he was saying and followed him up the stairs. They went into a room that was like the fancy hotel suites he’d seen in the movies. There was a tiny little kitchen, two bedrooms and a bathroom. It was neat and clean and surprisingly, a lot quieter there than downstairs.


“We can talk here. No one should come up here unless it’s an emergency. ”


“This place is seriously cool, man.”


“Right? These are the dorms. Dad pays for them. Keeps the best boys pampered, you know?”


He looked around in fascination. It sure would be nice to live in such a nice place. “So what makes the best, the best?”


Jake grinned. “I’m sure Dirk will show you.”


Dave grunted. He sure wasn’t showing him too much. It probably would have took him point six seconds to finish what he started the last time he saw him and he didn’t. He was pretty upset about it. Jake could tell something had happened by the look on his face when he mentioned Dirk.


“So why’d you choose him, again? I can’t quite remember.” He smiled as he lightly teased him about picking Dirk.


He thought back to the interviews.


“You can take it. Give me a try, come on.” He remembered Dirk saying persuasively. He was like a persistent drug dealer or something. “Look, Dave... I've got things to offer you, too... let's get to know each other. It's not an empty deal.” He wanted to know exactly what he meant by this ‘deal’. “Give it 2, maybe 2 ½ months and you'll be a little whore. You'll be perfect for the job. I'll recommend you.”


He took in a quiet gasp as images of Dirks cock came to his mind. He could see his soft skin just perfectly in his head. His mouth almost watered. He loved the noises he could conjure from him and the rough kisses he would give him and how he would make him beg. His heart raced.


“So? Why him?” Jake reminded him, bringing him out of his little trance.


“I don’t know man. He has pretty eyes, I guess?”


Jake snorted and began to laugh. “He never takes those shades off. Ever.”


“He took them off for me.” He whispered almost weakly.


“I have a feeling you got the habit from him.” Jake noted.


“What habit?” Dave asked.


“The glasses; they stay on, don’t they?”

Dave only nodded.


Jake gently grabbed his arm and pulled him closer. Their bodies pressed against each other. Jake looked down at him and smiled at those cute little freckles that decorated his face. Dave was wary.


 “I don’t often make out of work exceptions...” Jake whispered to himself.


Dave was almost horrified. Jake leaned in hesitantly as if he were coming in for a kiss. The blonde leaned back a bit. Jake smirked. He had initiated the chase and Dave Strider was running. It was strange, too. No one ever ran from him. He tried again and Dave turned his head.


“What? Can’t I get a kiss?”


“I just… I’m with Dirk… I don’t want to –”


“Cheat?” Jake cut him off, his devious smirk growing. “Dave, he’s just a coworker. He’s a job – a chore.


You have to work with him. I’m not your obligation or something but I… I like to think I’m on the “to do” list.”


Was that it? Was Dirk just a co-worker? His mind raced at the question as he froze. Jake began to trail kisses up his neck, pulling up the back of his shirt and leaning him back onto the bed. Dave got caught up in the moment and found himself cornered when Jake pulled the shades from his face. He gasped and turned his head to the side so that he wouldn’t see his strange eyes of which he was ashamed. Jake grabbed his jaw lightly, with little force and turned it towards him. He tightly closed his eyes.


“Come on, Strider. Don’t be so shy. Open your eyes.”


Dave shook his head and began to squirm. “N-No. Get off. I changed my mind.”


“Daavee,” Jake groaned. “What’s so mysterious about you Striders and your eyes? Don’t you have them? What’s to hide?”


“Jake, I’m not kidding! Get o-“


A familiar voice cut him off and shook a little fear into them both.


“Get off of him.” The room grew even more silent.  Jake was torn off of him and Dave felt hands scoop him up and peaked open an eye to see Dirk for just a moment before he was looking from behind dark lenses once more – Dirk’s shades.


Dirk grabbed Jake up by his shirt.


“I’ll look you in the eye, mother fucker. Don’t ever touch him! Stay away from him, Jake. If I catch you pulling shit like that again, you’re going to regret it.”


Jake glared into Dirks eyes. He wasn’t surprised by them anymore. He’d seen them a thousand times before back when they were together. Now they harbored some kind of hate for him and it was as clear as his vibrant irises.


 Dirk caught a whiff of his breath and let him loose. “God, you’re shitfaced. Go to bed; Party’s over.”

He grabbed Dave’s shades and traded them for his own, placing them upon the bridge of his nose. He grabbed Dave’s wrists tightly and pulled him out of the room. He stood at the top of the stairs and caught everyone’s attention with a single roar.



Everyone groaned in unison creating the sound of disappointment, but surprisingly, obeyed. Within minutes everyone was fleeing; calling taxis and friends, and some pulling away in their own cars. The room was trashed. Dave didn’t know what to say to Dirk, or to Jake who had stumbled out of his room and into the hall once more. A hand went to his stomach, and the other to his mouth as he felt the alcohol coming back to get him.


Dirk began to clean up, throwing red solo cups into a black back and half eaten pizza along with them. He mumbled angrily to himself. Dave hesitantly went to his side.


“Thanks… for that…”


Dirk shook his head. “Just stay away from him. That’s your only warning.”

Dave froze in place, only moving to cross his arms across his chest. “Excuse me? My what? You’re not my dad, Dirk! You don’t give me ‘warnings.’ ”


Dirk glared up at him as if he wanted to knock his head off.


“And you’re not my brother.” Dave’s words were cold and sharp. “Maybe you’ve forgotten.” He spun his keys around his finger and began to walk out the door.


Dirk called out one last time to time before he left the giant house, or rather, dorms.


“But am I really just a coworker, Dave?” He truly wanted to know.  “I can’t be, can I? If it were as simple as that, if I wasn’t something more, you would have gone with someone else that day; you would have chosen Jake or Karkat, Gamzee or John. You’re here for a reason…” He slowly walked towards the frozen boy who stood in the door way with his hand half extended towards the knob. His hand slid down to his waist and pulled him against his own body. His other hand slid up his arm, across his shoulder and to his throat.


“Your shift is over, right?”


Dave couldn’t form words so he nodded.


“Good. Stay here tonight.”  He pried his keys from his hand and dropped them into a bowl of peanuts on a little table next to them.


Dirk led him upstairs to his own room, walking straight past Jake who was vomiting in the hall bathroom. Dirk locked the door behind him and took off his shirt as he got closer and closer to Dave, who had found his place on the edge of the bed. Dirk bent down so that he was eye level with Dave. The younger boy’s breaths were shaky and nervous. He fought back a smile. He revealed his lavender eyes and removed


Dave’s shades. He sat them gently aside.


Suddenly, he roughly grabbed him by his jaw and locked eyes with him. “I may not be your dad, but I am your daddy.” He pushed him back onto the bed and crawled on top of him, pulling Dave’s shirt above his head. “Do you understand?”


Dave nodded shyly.


“That’s not good enough, answer me.”


“Yes!” Dave cried.


Dirk grabbed a handful of his hair. “Yes what!?”


“Yes… daddy?” Dave tried to laugh it off and Dirk smiled.

“Trade places with me.” He demanded.


Dirk rested his back against the headboard. “Pants off.”

They both removed their jeans. He pulled Dave into lap and lightly popped the waistband of his boxers.


“These just won’t do.” He teased.


Dave frowned. “What do you mean they won’t do? These are my best pair!”


Dirk chuckled and reached over into the drawers and pulled out a pair of orange and white striped girls panties. Dave’s eyebrows furrowed. “Are you fucking kidding me?”


“You wish.” He scoffed.


He flipped Dave onto his back and pulled the boxers off of him. It was all so sudden and gave him a startle. Dirk strategically pulled the panties up onto his hips and stood back to admire them.  He pointed a finger at him and said, “Yo, don’t move!”


Dave sat up and yelled at him as he slid back into the hall. “You better finish what you started this time, ass!”


“I’ll be right back!” Dirk called behind him.


Dirk kept his promise and returned with a camera. He jumped on top of Dave and pinned him to the mattress. Dave grunted at the weight but tried to grab the camera from him.


“No! No, no, no, no, no! No pictures!” he hissed, his voice cracking.


“What?! I like to have pictures!”


“That’s kind of sadistic, you know; keeping pictures of your victims.” Dave retorted jokingly.


“Come on, please?”




Dirk smirked and pulled his phone from the dresser. He scrolled and tapped and typed and finally turned the screen so Dave could witness their first shoot on camera. He blushed wildly and grabbed the phone.


“Oh.” He whimpered.


“How are you going to do that then deny me a few pictures?” Dirk pouted and laid his head on his chest and began to whine like a puppy. “Please? I won’t show them to anyone. I promise.”


Dave rolled his eyes and agreed. “Only ten of them!”


“Alright!” He sure cheered up fast.


Dirk went to work earning a different expression for each picture. He snapped a picture of him laying awkwardly on his back in the cute panties he picked especially for him. His face was red, half from fury and half from embarrassment. He slid his hand down between his thighs, to his knees and made his way back up. He pulled him to the very edge of the bed and positioned himself between his legs. He held the camera high, ready to snap the next picture when the moment was ripe.


He pressed his lips against his shaft that was shielded by the soft cotton. He trailed kisses up his cock without giving him any direct relief. He began to rub him, carefully watching his face. His mouth fell open enough to let a moan escape and he finally got his shot.


He grabbed him by his waist and positioned him on his hands and knees and reached under him and continued to rub his slowly hardening cock. Pre-cum began to seep from the tip of his length. Dirk grinned and began to slip his hands into his panties.  Dave gasped and jumped a bit at his touch. The older man planted a kiss on his lower back and began to tighten his and around his cock and moving it up and down his hard shaft. He hovered over him and laid a head on his shoulder. He held the camera in front of them.


“Do you want me to fuck your ass?” he kissed his cheek and slid two fingers into his mouth. Dave moaned with anticipation. He had never wanted anything so much in his life.


“Yeah?” Dirk snapped a picture. His fingers swirled in his mouth. Dirk slithered down his body like a snake and pulled the striped underwear over his ass, sliding his fingers into the tight hole. Dave’s arms collapsed and he ended up with his face shoved into the mattress. Dirk didn’t spare him and began to prepare him for his own length. Dave cried out and reached back and grabbed his ass.  Dirk took another picture.  He came to realize that he definitely needed both of his hands and set the camera on the bed side table. He reached for the lubricant and lathered up his cock. He crawled up to the head of the bed and Dave crawled on top of him.


“You alright?” Dirk asked as he positioned him against his hole.


Dave nodded but Dirk could tell he was nervous. He took his face in his hands. “You look like I’m going to tear you apart.” He stopped for a moment.


Dave bit his lip and looked back up at him. “Everyone keeps telling me… about your other… subs and I don’t know what to think anymore. Karkat and Gamzee looked terrified when I sat down at your table. I mean… Karkat even called you ‘Daddy’ – seems to be a thing of yours.”


Dirk snorted and held back his laughter. It didn’t lighten the atmosphere and Dave still seems nervous and concerned. He frowned. Was he really all that worried?


“How many people have you slept with?” Dave pondered.


“Uhh,” Dirk began, attempting to remember brief moments and faces. “I… I don’t know, honestly… I’m clean though, I swear!” It still didn’t help. “Look,” He sighed. “If you don’t want to do this right now, I get it but if you think waiting will bring us closer or some girly shit like that, I’m telling you, I don’t think it will make a difference.”


“No, it’s fine. I’m fine.”


Dirk looked over his facial features and he was taken back a moment to a time when they were kids. He had smashed all of Daves CD’s and he had thrown a fit. He screamed and cried and chased him around the house and when his Dad came home he sat them both down and made Dave apologize, even though he hadn’t done anything wrong.


When his mom tried to comfort Dave, knowing that Dirk was the big bad wolf, Dave angrily dried his tears and said, “No, it’s fine. I’m fine; I’m okay.” He glared at him like he hated him, but he was hurt. Dirk knew that look all too well.


“Do you… wanna talk about it?” Dirk asked quietly. He relaxed and rolled Dave onto the bed. He turned on his side towards him.


“I just don’t think I thought this through enough.”


“What through? Being a porn star? Well, don’t regret it now dude, you’re just getting started.”


“No, you. I don’t think I thought you through enough.”


Dave sat up and quietly thought to himself. They were both so quiet that they could hear Jake miserably groaning a few rooms down.


“What’s a… a uhh..”


“What’s a what?” Dirk urged him.


“What the hell is a daddy? Like… I know it’s a kind of dominate but… is it like a thing for incest?”


Dirk cringed. “No man, it’s hard to explain.”


“Take your time.” Dave said, demanding that he would explain.


“Uhh… ‘Daddy’ is used… not in a sense of being a father but looking after your sub like a father would their child. It can be a controlling relationship sometimes, but only because daddy wants what’s best for their sub… to look after them and make sure they have what they need to be happy and successful… but that comes later! It’s completely intimate. I’m not just some creep that likes to be called daddy, alright?!”


Dave wanted to pinch his cheeks and make a remark about how sweet that sounded but knew that if he tried to antagonize him in such ways he would shove him onto the floor.


“So… are we intimate in… that sense… are you my ‘daddy’ now?” He held back giggles.


Dirk looked conflicted as Dave’s expression became unsure. “I’m not going to push you into it right now. You don’t have to agree to be with me that way but since you did choose me as your dominate expect training and punishment when I see fit.”

It wasn’t so sweet now. He was always ruining the moment…

“Get used to having things down your throat and taking things up the ass. I hope you like being tied up.”

Dirk was suddenly cold again – cut off. He was so wishy washy; one moment he acted like an actual person and the next he was just being a bitch. He sighed.


“So when does this training start?”


“Now.” Dirk said, taking Dave’s hand and pulling him up. He made him stand and out his hands against the wall. “Nothing I do to you should hurt in a sense of leaving scars and stuff. It’s more physically straining than anything. If anything it will just shock you.” He explained. A hand came down on his ass leaving a red print. Dave gasped.


“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”


 Dave shook his head in agreement.  He slapped his ass again and Dave chuckled.


 “This is basic stuff. Get on the bed. Lay on your stomach, I’ll be back.”


Dave did as he was told and when Dirk came back he tied his hands tightly behind his back and his ankles together with rope. He linked the rope from his hands to his feet and made sure it wouldn’t cut off his circulation. He blindfolded him as he hung ropes from the hooks in the ceiling. He hoisted him off the bed and watched him hang for a moment. Dave bit into his lip.


“Relax your body.” Dirk ordered.


He backed away and went silent. Dave began to wonder if he had left him there.


“D-Dirk! Are you still here?”


He didn’t answer and he began to worry. He suddenly felt something against his lips and jumped. Hands entangled with his hair and lifted his face gently.


“Open your mouth.” Dirk whispered. Dave did as he was told and let Dirk ease himself into his mouth and eventually down his throat. He gagged and Dirk pulled back, a string of saliva trailed from his cock to his lips.


He coughed and turned his head away trying to catch his breath. Dirked leaned in and whispered in his ear. “Are you ready?” He gave him a light slap on the cheek.

Dave nodded eagerly.


“Let’s make a deal: If you can keep me down your throat without gagging for about… 10 seconds, I’ll give you what you want.”


Dave fumbled indecisively. “I don’t think I can do it.”


“Come on, try.” Dirk encouraged.


Dirk worked with him until he was at the back of his mouth, ready to slide down his throat. “Are you ready?”


“Mhm” Dave groaned around his length.


Dirk slid in the rest of his way and began to count. “1…2…3…4… 5…6…” Dave began to lightly heave. “Hey, come on a few more seconds! 7…8…9…” He pulled out and Dave gasped for air. Dirk patted him on the back as if to tell him ‘good job’ and cut him down, releasing his arms and legs. He stood behind him and spread his legs, only spending a few moments preparing him once more. He lathered his cock up in lube and began to press into the younger.


Dave was more than eager now – he was desperate.  Dirk slid into him and earned a yelp from him.


“Relax completely. It won’t hurt in like, a few seconds, I promise.”


He gave small thrusts until he had him filled all up. Dave, who was nothing but a moaning mess, had collapsed beneath him and reached backwards, his fingers intertwining with Dirks. His hips grinded into him causing him to cry out and squirm. He had so much he wanted to say to him but held his tongue. He turned Dave onto his back and leaned down so his stomach was against his. He cradled his head in his hands and looked over his features. Long, dark lashes hid those crimson eyes from his gaze and soft pink cheeks led him further into temptation. He felt Dave’s hands slide around him and pull him closer to his body.


“Ah! Hmmm,” Dave groaned as Dirk just barely brushed that one place that drove him crazy. When he noticed he slowed down and began to tease him. His tongue swirled around his puckering nipples, working hard to please him. It wasn’t something Dirk did often – aim to please. He had no one worth pleasing; no one he cared about or cared to be stuck with.  He wanted Dave and he drove him mad with lust and a few unidentified other feelings. He hadn’t felt that way about anyone; not since Jake.

He felt himself on the brink of orgasm. His thrusts became deep and heavy and Dave contracting around him didn’t help one bit. Dirk finally cried out as he lost the self-control he had been harboring. He pulled him off the bed and wrapped his legs around his waist. Dave’s forehead bumped against his.


“I’m gonna cum.” Dave whimpered.


Dirk smiled and gave a chuckle and nodded as if to say “me too”. He bounced him on his cock and finally found his prostate again. He dug into it roughly and Dave turned to mush in his arms. Dirk gave him gentle kisses in turn with his hard thrusts and showered his face with them.


“Oh god, I can’t take this!”


“It’s okay. Just let go. Cum for me, Dave! Cum for me!” He kissed him roughly, biting his lip as he pulled away.


His hand wrapped around his member and he began to pump him until his release. His cries sent him over edge and came right before him. He collapsed on top of him. They both stayed quiet, listening to each other’s labored breathing and fast pulse. They laid there for an eternity and when Dirk sat up he found Dave to be peacefully asleep. He pulled the blanket over him and turned on the fan in case he got too warm. He dimmed the lights to not disturb him and even almost got him a glass of water in case he woke up thirsty but stopped when a little voice snapped inside of him.


‘He isn’t a kid! He doesn’t need you to pave the streets for him or make sure he gets a fuckin’ lullaby every night. ’


He sighed and went back down stairs after he slid on some boxers. He still had cleaning to do. It was nearly four three-thirty in the morning but it was now or never. He picked up his trash bag and began to toss the half-filled and empty cups strewn about the room into the black bag.

Karkat suddenly busted in with tears running down his face.


“Kat, are you alright?”


He took in deep breaths and then looked up angrily. Gamzee was responsible for this. It was a no-brainer. He could hear him roaring profanities in the front yard. Karkat ran upstairs into the room he and Gamzee shared. He locked the door.


“I’ll take care of it.” Dirk sighed.


He went into the front yard and found Gamzee hollering up at Karkat’s window.


“Come doowwnn muthafucka don’t you want to play!? ” He kicked the side of his car and made the alarm go off.


“GAMZEE!” Dirk growled. “PEOPLE ARE SLEEPING! SHUT THE HELL UP! What’s your deal anyway?”


“My deal? Muthafucka wanted to get all hot then try to up and out blow me off. That’s my muthafuckin’ deal.”


Dirk didn’t have a clue as to what he was talking about. “What?”


“He started to get up on me and when I went in for the kill he tried act like he didn’t fuckin’ want me. Why you gonna try and get it up if you aint gonna get it on?”

Dirk got it now and the whole situation pissed him off. He was always hurting Karkat in some way when he was sober like this. He was so angry and anything would set him off but only one thing would calm him down. He rolled his eyes and gave him a swift punch to the jaw, it was hard enough to knock him out. He ran upstairs and gently knocked on Karkats door.


“Kat, it’s me. Open up, I need to get Gamzee’s meds.”


He heard light footsteps tread to the door. Karkat opened and handed him a syringe with green liquid,


Vitamin- S as Gamzee called it, and closed back up. It wasn’t a legal drug, or a very popular one at that.

Vitamin-S was the only thing that kept Gamzee from turning into a grenade that would blow up at the most gentle touch. When he was already in a rage, they gave him injections, but if he felt like he was slowly getting more and more tense and upset, he would just put it in a vapor machine and let it fill the bathroom or his bedroom. Surprisingly, that method hadn’t affected Karkat at all, probably because these days, he avoided him as much as possible.


He dragged Gamzee into the living room and onto the couch, going back to close the door before he jabbed him in the neck with the needle and filled his veins with Sopor. He left him there and continued on his cleaning escapade. 


Chapter Text

Dave's eyes were still closed but he was awake. He could smell the strong aroma of Dirks cologne.

Dirk laid next to him and quietly snored. It made Dave sort of smile. His eyes opened and the gazed over features. He had dark bags under his eyes and looked really tired in general. Maybe he couldn't sleep. He gazed over at the clock. It was already 9:38 in the morning. He tried to slide out of his arms without waking him up. He only groaned and rolled over, making it a lot easier to get up. He grabbed his clothes and got dressed, checking to make sure he didn't wake up Dirk. He slid downstairs where he was caught off guard by Karkat, who sat on a stood at the kitchen island with a bag of frozen peas on his blackened eye and Jake who was cheerfully scrambling some eggs. He tried to sneak out but was caught red handed.

"Yo, Dave!"

Dave cringed.

"What are you doing, man? Come have some breakfast." Jake called out to him. "Sorry about last night…" he said, trying to convince him to stay a while and waving a spatula at him. "I was kind of-"

"Shitfaced? Balls deep in Corona? " Dave mumbled just loud enough that Jake heard him.

"Look man, I'm sorry! I really am. I didn't mean to, I swear."

Dave still gave him a cautious look, remembering what Dirk had said about staying away from him. It was hard. Jake was a friendly guy. How much trouble could he be? He finally rolled his eyes and took a seat.

"That's more like it! How do you like your eggs?"

"Sunny side, man." He plopped his keys onto the table.

"What happened to your eye?" Dave asked as he faced Karkat.

Karkat gave him a bashful look. "Nothin'." He replied grumpily.

"Doesn't look like nothing. Let me see."

He gently took the cold peas from his swollen eye and hissed to himself. "How'd you manage that?" he pondered while softly poking at it.

"Just be glad you didn't choose Gamzee." He turned away quietly.

Dave began to draw conclusions. There was friction between Gamzee and Karkat at the interviews but he thought it was just friendly teasing. Apparently it was something more though, even abusive. Gamzee seemed like a decent guy but… He supposed anyone can manage that impression when you first meet someone, though.

The truth of the matter was that Gamzee had his own issues; issues that often threw Karkat into the middle of a fire on a regular basis. No one could know for sure exactly why he had put up with Gamzee for all these years. Most of the boys in the house had physically fought him over things on multiple occasions, but not Karkat. He was patient and forgiving, no matter how many scars the boy left him with, or many times he made him cry he was there in the end. That's just what best bros did.

Dave's quite analysis of their relationship was interrupted by Jake asking him if he wanted bacon (of course he wanted bacon). He served them both plates and then fixed his own and sat with them. He sat in front of Dave and looked up at him every now and then between bites. He finally lightly brushed his leg against his and smirked.

"Hey, I'm really sorry about last night. There's a carnival in town on Saturday. Why don't you come with? John and I had a show but he's sick and can't do the shoot or come with me so I'll have all day… and two tickets… you know… if you want to come. "

Dave sort of half smiled, considering accepting his apology.

"Oh, I guess - Since I've got nothing better to do."

Jake grinned.

"I've got a shoot with Dirk on Saturday though."

"That's fine." Jake said. "I'll drive you to work and to the carnival after you guys are done. Don't worry about it!"

Just as they all finished eating Dirk was dragging himself drowsily down the stairs. Dave caught a glimpse of him and stood up to leave. He had a hard time looking him in the eye sometimes knowing that he had seen every inch of him and in compromising positions and knowing that left him with awkward feelings.

"Thanks for the breakfast, Jake." He said gratefully. "I'll uhh… see you Saturday."

"Alright! Bye!"

He tried to get past Dirk without trouble. The taller blonde glared at Jake for a moment and then shifted his eyes to Dave. He stopped him, as Dave feared.

"You leaving?" he asked sleepily.

"I'm heading towards the door, aren't I?" Dave mumbled snappily.

Dirk scoffed. "Whatever. Be careful. Rest up for the shoot Saturday! "

"I will."

Without another word, Dave went about his day, settling into the front seat of his car and driving away.

~ o0o ~

Saturday afternoon, Jake checked on John one last time before he left to pick up Dave. He slept sound in his bed, the covers pulled up over his head. He got him some more water and put a few cough drops and some extra strength Tylenol on his bedside table. He drove to the company building and went upstairs. A few guys stood in the hall watching Dave and Dirk's shoot. He nearly stopped to see how they were doing, but considering how loud Dirk was getting, they were doing just fine.

He slipped into Dave's dressing room and sat down in front of the mirror picking at his imperfections. He plucked away the tiny hairs between his eyes that no one but him ever noticed and dabbed a tiny bit of concealer on the small red bump on his temple that wasn't all that noticeable. Being on film all the time (especially in his profession) made a guy pretty self-conscious after a while. Even if no one else noticed, he did and that was worst thing about it. Because when he noticed it, he worried about other people noticing it. And when he worried about "other people" noticing, select few came to his mind. And in that select few there was one that was sure to realize any flaw on him – Dirk. Frankly, he wasn't in the mood to deal with Dirk.

Dave walked in 10 minutes later, jumping slightly upon seeing someone in his dressing room. He held a towel around his waist and quietly gasped.

"Ah! Jake! "

"Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you!" Jake reassured him. "Did Dirk take care of you yet?" He knew the answer.


Of course not. He sighed. He made sure Dirk wasn't too rough with him. He was scanning over all of his skin for bruises, and bite marks or anything else Dirk could have left behind on him. Jake looked up at him. Dave seemed emotionally intact. He gave a little smile to comfort him, knowing that he must still feel awkward about people touching his bare body.

"Alright. I think you're good. We'll leave once you get dressed, alright?"

Dave nodded went into the bathroom to freshen up and get dressed. Jake spun in the chair in circles waiting patiently for him to finish. When he saw a blur of red he stopped spinning and turned to Dave.


"Yeah. Let's go."

Jake led the way to his car, taking the elevator down to the garage and passing Dirk as they drove away, who gave Jake a nasty look as he walked to his car. They drove for about 20 minutes then pulled into a packed parking lot and got in line at the gates. Dave grew even more excited as they got closer. Jake noticed and sort of smiled. He looked like a little kid; pointing out rides and saying, "Ooh! Can we go on that one?! And that one!?"

"Have you ever been to a carnival?" he finally asked.

Dave shook his head and explained. "No. My parents were always working and didn't really take us to places like this. Sometimes they gave Dirk and I 20 bucks to go to the movies but that's about it."

Jake's mind went back to the time he and Dirk went to the summer music festival. He was beyond excited and now he knew why. The thought brought back warm memories, something he didn't often get when thinking of Dirk.

"Really?" Jake asked while handing their tickets to the gate keeper and grabbed their admission bracelets. "We'll save the best for last then! Come on!"

He grabbed his hand and took him to the little games first – the games where you had to knock down milk bottles with balls, pop balloons with darts and toss Ping-Pong balls into fish bowls. From there they went to the bigger rides like merry go rounds and the big rides that swung you in circles and that spun you around at ungodly speeds. At the end of the night, when all the kids had gone home, Jake led him to the Ferris wheel.

Dave tilted his head back to try and see the very top.

"This thing is huge!" He whispered.

They buckled into their seat and waited for it to start slowly rotating.

"I come here every year, usually with John. At the very top of the wheel, you can see the whole city lit up like fire. That's why I saved this one for last."

Dave looked over to him. "The whole city?!"

"Even the outskirts. It's beautiful but it kind of makes you feel small."

They began to rise but neither of them noticed.

"Because it's so big?" Dave pondered.

Jake nodded. "Yeah. You can take it all in on a larger scale and you realize that you are hardly a speck."

By the time they unraveled themselves from their thoughts, the Ferris wheel paused and they sat at the top. Dave looked around him. He really did feel small… He felt Jakes arm come around him.

"So…" The dark haired boy began. "Apology accepted?" He smirked, knowing Dave wouldn't refuse now.

"Dude, yeah!" he laughed.

The wheel began to turn again.

"You want to grab something to eat?" Jake suggested?

Just as he finished his sentence, Dave's stomach growled loud enough for him to hear. They both laughed. They left the fair and went to a little midnight bakery in town and somehow ended up a lot closer than they thought they would be. Dave sat next to him, rather than across from him. Their legs were entangled under the table and they fed each other different sweets and paid no attention to the looks they received or how "lovey-dovey" they seemed.

Once they had both had all the cake and pastries they could hold down, Jake drove Dave home and walked him up to his apartment. Dave unlocked the door and turned to say goodnight.

"Thanks for everything, man. I had a lot of fun!"

"Yeah, no problem Strider... We should uhh… do it again sometime." Jake replied.

"Hah, I guess you'll have to get 3 tickets every year now!"

Jake smiled.

Somehow, the space between them began to close. They inched closer and closer to each other until Dave finally wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him in to kiss him. Jake had been waiting for it – waiting for Dave to come to him. They stumbled into his apartment, slamming the door behind them. Jake lifted him up so that he could wrap his legs around his waist, partially pulling up his shirt in the back. Not paying attention to where they were going, they ended up falling over the arm of the couch, crashing onto the cushions.

Dave pulled back for a quick breath of air and Jake gently bit his lip. Their lips were soon together again, Jakes tongue slipping into his mouth and slowly sliding across the roof of his mouth an-

Jakes phone began to ring.

They both groaned, sitting up on the couch. It was John. Jake answered, speaking softly knowing that John had a headache.

"Hey are you alright?" he asked.

There was mumbling that Dave couldn't make out, but he could tell that John sounded really ill – his voice hoarse and grumbly.

"Alright. I'll be there in a bit, alright? See if Karkat, or whoever's home will get you an ice pack, okay? Get your fever down the best you can. I'll talk to you in a bit. Bye!" Jake sounded slightly panicked.

They both sighed, sitting there for a moment. "I better go. Sorry about this. He's been pretty sick for a while. I'm going to take him to the emergency room. He keeps getting worse and worse."

"Oh? It's fine, I get it. Thanks for tonight, though. It was really fun!" Dave said.

Jake smiled and wrapped his arms around him. "No problem! I had a lot of fun too! And don't worry…" he chuckled. "I won't tell Dirk."

Dave lightly blushed. "Thanks… Tell John to get better!"

"Will do!" Jake waved as he went out the door.

Dave sat on the floor and began to panic. God, what did he just do!? What if Dirk found out? He seemed pretty serious about him staying away from Jake. He thought back to what Jake has said when he was drunk. "Dave, he's just a coworker. He's a job – a chore..."

He certainly had come out to be quite the chore, that's for sure. But even then… he didn't know how he really felt about him. His phone buzzed. Dirk had texted him about twenty times. Ugh, he had seen them leave. Now he was going to give him hell.

Dirk: "What are you doing with Jake?"

"Where are you?"

"Dave answer me."

"I know you're with him."

Dave rolled his eyes. Motherfucker… he texted him simple lie.

Dave: "Dude, go away. He drove me home and I fell asleep as soon as I got here."

Dirk replied in no time.

Dirk: "Really?"

Dirk: "Because John is getting ready to go to the hospital now and said that Jake is on his way to pick him up and Jake has been gone all this time but now that he's on his way, you're just now texting me back. You guys were together weren't you? Don't lie to me, I saw you leave with him."


Dave: "Great deduction, Sherlock."

Dirk was raging. God he hated Jake so much and he knew what he was up to and he didn't like it one bit. It made him nervous and angry and even maybe afraid. He texted back.

Dirk: "I was serious about staying away from him! He'll get you in trouble, Dave."

Dave: "My bad, daddy. Are you going to ground me?"

Dirk thought to himself, "bitch I just might."

He had to do something that would make Dave take him seriously. He should drive over there, pin him up and show him who's boss. Maybe he would… but not today. He'd make him think he was forgiven and then he would really get him. He stopped texting him and turned off his phone as he was brainstorming the perfect punishment.


Chapter Text

Dave made sure he had everything in his bag before he left. Company I.D, wallet, sunglasses, keys, chapstick… he was good. He opened the door and locked it behind him, and made his way down to his car. He drove to work and scanned himself into the building with his I.D and went to his dressing room where one of the interns was waiting with a box of clothes.


“Hi!” Dave greeted him.


It wasn’t unusual to be greeted by people in the dressing rooms. They gave you an idea of what would happen if the shoot had a certain theme or fetish but this time, he had a box of clothes, a particularly peculiar thing considering that he usually performed in his usual clothes. They would come off anyway.


“Hey! Dirk wanted me to deliver these to you for the shoot today. Also, you’re going to need these.” He handed him a pair of black heels. Dave glared at them for a moment before he took them.


“Thanks.” He said a bit bitterly.


The intern chuckled and left.


Fuck! Shit, shit, SHIT. He was in for it now! What had he got himself into?! He slid off his clothes and went through the box. The orange striped panties from the night of the party where hanging off the side. He slid off his boxers and stepped into the panties and tried to adjust to them again. They pressed his cock against his stomach. It wasn’t uncomfortable but it definitely wasn’t the coziest.


He pulled out a tiny miniskirt and balked at the length. He was pretty convinced that skirts were supposed to cover at least half of your ass. He groaned and pulled the tiny piece of clothing up his legs, over his ass and twisted his hips to pull it all the way up on his waist.



It didn’t look too bad. He turned around, and sighed when he saw that everyone would see the girly panties he was wearing. There was no way in hell he could walk out there in front of everybody in that outfit. There was still one piece left. He pulled it out; a crop top. It matched the skirt.

Dave began to think that Dirk had been planning this for a while, considering that it said “Strider” across the back like he was some sort of cheerleader.


He put on the shoes and attempted to walk back and forth in them. “Not too bad,” he scoffed just before he stumbled into the counter and bruised his hip. He yelled and tried to rub out the pain.


“Dave, let’s go! You ready?” Dirk called out.




The door flew open and Dave jumped and turned to see who it was. He could have sworn it was Dirk but before he could spit profanities at him, hands came over his eyes. There was more than one person, one tying his hands in front of him and another grabbing his legs. He gasped at the surprise and began to struggle.


“Shhh,” Dirk whispered in his ear, pulling his hands away. “It’s just me.”


Dave sighed. “Why do you always have to do stuff like this?” he grumbled.


Dirk didn’t answer. “Time for the shoot” is all he said. He lifted Dave into his arms and carried him into their usual room where he dropped Dave onto the bed. He turned the feed on and began to stream the shoot. He greeted the audience and began to explain things.

He threw Dave over his shoulder, his ass next to his face, not without a fuss from the barely clad male.


 “You see…” Dirk began. “Dave’s been a little busy lately.” He winked at the camera. “I even caught him red handed.” He slapped Dave’s ass, leaving a red print on his skin and turned his head to place a little kiss on the mark. His hands traveled, up his legs, which seemed much longer with those black heels on. Ugh, it gave him shivers. He could hear Dave whimpering behind him.


 He slid his hands up his thighs and hooked a finger beneath the underwear and pulled them aside, showing him off like a trophy. He slid a finger across his hole. Dave jerked a bit at the unexpected touch.


 “I just feel like he hasn’t been completely honest with me about it.” In a swift movement, he pulled him into his lap and grabbed him by his hair. Dave gasped at the sudden force. “Daddy doesn’t like it when you lie, David.”


He could hear the anger in his voice. This wasn’t a shoot, it was revenge. He thought about speaking out but he didn’t want to bring the tension of their personal lives into their work.


“I-Im sorry!” Dave sputtered not knowing what else to say in response.


“You’re gonna be.” Dirk smiled. “Lay down. Keep your legs in the air. Look at the camera.


Dirk retrieved a switch from the bed side table and Dave groaned. He ran it across his exposed thighs.


“Say it. Tell them what a whore you are.”


Dave cringed but opened up his mouth to speak. “I-Im a-”


Dirk whipped the switched across his thighs. “AHH! Oh, God. I’m a whore! I’m a whore!” he cried in response.


“Say it again.” Dirk requested smacking him again.


Dave hissed at the pain. “I’m a whore.”


“Whose whore are you, again?” The corners of Dirks mouth turned up into a rather sinister smirk. He waited to hear those words escape his lips.


Daddy’s whore. I’m daddy’s whore.” Dave whined.


Dirk pulled back the switch as if he was going to deliver a final blow. Dave squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath, but the hit never came. Dirk chuckled and tossed the whip aside, leaning in to reward him with a kiss. Even though Dave was a bit steamed at Dirk at the moment for making him dress like a girl and prance around in those ridiculous shoes, he still soaked up Dirk’s affections like a sponge. It was almost pathetic. There was just something about those lips…


“Roll over. Head down, ass up.” He whispered in his ear.


Dave obeyed. Dirk stood and pulled a bottle of lube from one of the drawers of the bedside table. He got on his knees behind Dave and began to tease him to hardness. He slid the panties over his ass and down his legs and trailed kisses up his thighs to his ass. He flicked his tongue across his hole.  Dave jumped and Dirk put his hands on his waist to reassure him. Dave moaned as he ran his tongue down to his balls and lightly teased and sucked on them until the pre-cum began to drip to from him cock.


He pulled back. Lathering two fingers in the lubricant and spreading some on his entrance. He slid his fingers inside, instantly searching for his sweet spot. He gently massaged around until he found it.

Dave purred like a kitten. He stood and leaned to Dave’s ear. “I’m going to milk you for all you’re worth.”


Dirk had planned on punishing him, humiliating him on camera and showing him just who he belonged to but then again… maybe that’s why everyone else had left. He tried to swallow his pride but his ego wouldn’t quite allow it. If he really wanted Dave to stay he had to give him reasons to, but not without a firm hand.


He didn’t let him cum. He would rub his sweet spot while massaging his cock, bringing him to the edge of orgasm. He paid close attention to his breathing and the little noises he made; the moans and groans and whimpers and humming sounds – they drove him mad. When he was about to cum, he would stop, letting Dave gather himself once more and then continuing until Dave finally spoke out.


“God dammit, Dirk! Let me cum, please. Please!” he complained.

The older boy only smiled and replied with kisses. Dave squirmed. “Be patient, baby.”


Fuck me, please…” Dave said under his breath.


Dirk smiled as he wiggled closer to him.  He pulled him to the edge of the bed as he stood and pushed the tip of his cock against his puckering entrance. He untied Dave’s hands and he instantly rolled onto his side and reached back to grab Dirks hips and pushed him inside of him.


“O-OH! Hnngg… move your hips.”


Dirk rolled his hips slowly watching Dave’s face morph into an expression of pleasure and frustration. He purposely dodged his prostate, earning a slew of curses from Dave who was begging him by now. Dirk suddenly picked him up and wrapped his legs around his waist. He sat on the bed made sure Dave had his balance.



He didn’t have to tell him twice. He began to bounce himself on Dirks cock, grinding his hips around like a slut. “Fuck…” he whimpered to himself. “Oh god, right there. ”


Dirk reached up and grabbed a handful of his hair, suddenly thrusting rapidly. Dave cried out licentiously. Dirks lips went to his neck. He lightly nipped at his skin and licked up to his jaw.


“Cum for me, baby. Come on!” He cried as began to lose control of himself.

He laid back on the bed and let Dave have his way with him. After a moment Dirk felt him clench around him driving him overboard and causing him to cum deep inside of him.


“Oh, fuck, Dave!” he cried out. Their fingers intertwined.


Dave was caught in the moment. Every sound he made, when he felt the warmth seeping inside of him… all of it send him spiraling into ecstasy. He finally came, squirting cum on to Dirk’s chest and collapsing on top of him.


It got quiet. The only sound was their labored breathing, and the hum of the computers the cameras were hooked up to. There was a knock on the door. “We’re clear!”

Dirk chuckled to himself and sat up, letting Dave roll to the other side of the bed. He put his shades back on and stood up. Dave looked to him with a desperate expression. He never stayed after shoots. It made him feel sort of bad; self-conscious. Did he do a good job? He always felt sort of weird afterwards. He didn't want to look at him, or talk to anyone, really. If he walked out again… he just might cry.

Dirk slid into some basketball shorts and went for the door, but then he stopped, turning around to Dave.


“What are you still lying there for? Come on, Bro.”


Dave smiled and got up. Dirk got him a pair of shorts, pulling the tight, short skirt off of him, and took him into the dressing room where they cleaned up a bit and got dressed.


“Uhh… let’s take your car home and then I’ll take you out to eat. How’s that sound?” Dirk suggested in an attempt to make up for not taking care of him the way he should.


“Sounds good.” Dave replied, grinning to himself. “Where to?”


“Anywhere you want to go.”


Dave thought; He kind of wanted Asian food. He smiled, thinking of the Chinese place in town. “Actually, how about you come over to my place? We’ll pop in a movie and order Chinese?” he suggested.


Dirk nodded. “Sounds like a date.”


A date… he supposed it was a date. Doesn't that mean that he and Jake went on a date? No, he didn't want to think about that right now. All he cared about right now was his afternoon date with Dirk.

Dirk took him under his arm and led him out of the dressing room and to the parking garage, passing John and Jake who were on their way to film themselves, with a very smug but spiteful expression on his face.

He wouldn’t throw Dave away; Not in the way Jake did him all that while ago...


Chapter Text

Karkat was dozing off on the couch. Gamzee was in the bathroom, and had been for an hour or two. Smoke oozed from beneath the door. He knew what he was doing. Finally, the door opened, and Gamzee stumbled out. The stench of the drug poured into the room.


“Kat… hey Kat…” he grumbled.


Karkat turned over. They were fighting again. They never really seemed to stop fighting, actually. It was non-stop. When Gamzee was sober, he was cruel. He showed his true nature, or so that’s what people told him.


“You can’t stay with him.” They would say. “He’s mean - he’s evil, It’s only a matter of time until....”


Karkat, would deny it. He would say to them, with his eye blackened or his lip busted, “No, he’s sweet! He really is…” But this was only true when he was drugged up.

Gamzee put his arms around him and nudged his face with his nose.


“What?” Karkat answered sharply after a long sigh.


Gamzee flopped himself on top of him and made himself comfortable. “Are you mad at me, bro?” He grumbled.


Karkat rolled his eyes and tried to push Gamzee off onto the floor, but he wouldn’t budge. “F-Fuck! Fine. No, I’m not mad at you. Now go away.”


Gamzee frowned and laid his head on his chest. “Bro, I’m sorry for going off and busting your eye. I didn’t mean to, honest. Hah, at least it’s healing up a bit, don’t you think?” He poked at the bruise and Karkat hissed and jerked away.


It grew quiet. Karkat laid there, bearing Gamzee’s weight. He was pretty thin, but somehow, managed to weight at least three tons. The nappy hared man finally spoke, admitting something he had held back since their last incident occurred when he woke up on the living room couch.


“Kat… I don’t remember what I did… Why are you mad at me, bro? Just talk to me, man, I don’t like it when you get up and silent on me. You know I can’t be igno –”


One of the side effects of Vitamin-S: Memory loss; forgetting events that occurred prior to consumption. Since Karkat often made him take it when he was getting worked up, or after they had an argument or something like that, he forgot a lot of the things he had done to him which left him feeling confused most the time; not knowing whether he had really hurt him, how he hurt him, how he got all those bruises, why he’s crying…


“JUST FORGET IT GAMZEE.” Karkat roared, shoving him onto the floor and stomping into his room.


For a moment, Gamzee sat there trying to recall what he did. It was no use. He stood and dragged his feet to the door and pulled it open. Karkat was laying on the bed with his face shoved into the pillows. He placed a hand on his shoulder and crawling in next to him. He kissed his cheek and ran his fingers through his hair.


“We were out, and we parked the car to eat, but we made out instead.” Kat began, wiping his tears. “You got really rough and you wanted to have sex but I didn’t so I pushed you away. You got mad at me, and came onto me anyway and when I finally said that I didn’t want it to go that far, you hit me.”


 He wrapped his arms around him, but then paused, thinking that maybe Karkat didn’t want him to even touch him after that. He pulled away.


“Do you… you want me to leave you alone?” Gamzee murmured.

Karkat grumbled. “For now, yeah.”


Gamzee nodded to himself and stood. He trailed towards the door, but then stopped to turn and say, “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t know what I was doing! You know I wouldn’t just go and hit you over something like tha – ”


Karkat turned and hissed. “Didn’t know what you were doing? Hah, you can’t even remember what you did. You’re a completely different person when you’re stoned off your ass and when you’re completely sober. You need help Gamzee! I’m not saying that to be mean to you, or to get back at you.”


Karkat went up to him and pulled him down to his level so that he could give him a gentle kiss. He took his head in his hands. “I’m saying that because one day… you’re going to kill me… and I know I’ll let you. You’re going to hit me too hard, break my neck; you’re like the hulk. You’re a great guy, Gamzee, but the other guy isn’t.”

Gamzee wrapped his arm around the smaller boy and lifted him off the ground.


“You’re my miracle, Karkat. I’ll lay down some poetic shit just to prove it t-”


“No! No. Don’t. It’s fine.” Karkat uttered. When Gamzee tried to be poetic it turned into a really long rap about his feelings. He couldn’t suffer through another one of those.


He gently put Karkat down. “Come watch movies with me.”

Karkat sighed and followed him into the living room. This is how things went; fighting one moment, crying, making up… They lived in an endless cycle, bound to end in disaster.


~ o0o ~

Dave and Dirk sat in Dave’s living room on the couch, watching an old Kung-Fu flick. Dave was on the phone ordering the food.


“…shrimp Lo Mein, with fried rice and two egg rolls… Do you have apple juice?... Just a moment.” He turned to Dirk. “Bro, what do you want?” he slid him the phone book menu.


Dirk gave it a quick look. “Orange chicken with steamed rice and Won Ton soup.”

“What do you want to drink?” Dave asked after he put in his order. “Pepsi, I guess.”

When he was done, he snuggled back into Dirk’s side. “They said it should be about 30 minutes.”


“Really? I thought it would take longer.” Dirk’s fingers went to Dave’s hair, brushing through his soft, pale blonde locks. Dave managed to stay quiet for about 10 minutes before he had to sit up and ask him something that had bothered him from day one.

“Hey…” he began.

“Hi.” Dirk replied sarcastically, grinning at him.


Dave rolled his eyes, but had a smile on his face still. He gave him a light punch in the arm. “Why do you hate Jake so much? What happened between you two? Like… I know break ups don’t always go well but jeez, man.”


Dirk frowned, fluttering his eyes as he looked away. “Sorry if it brings back bad memories. Please don’t be mad at me. I just think that if I’m going to keep getting punished for things that happened between you two in the past, I should at least know… what happened?” Dave twiddled his thumbs, ready to get a scolding for asking. Dirk sort of chuckled to himself.


“I guess you’re right. It’s only fair.”


Dave looked up with an expression of surprise, his ears eager to hear the truth.


“When I first started working at the company, I chose Jake and soon after I began working there, we started dating. We were best friends and I was really glad that I got to date him because we were so close. How many people end up with their best friends, you know? I didn’t mind him doing shoots with other people because I did too. That’s how the business sort of goes. The viewers want to see you with others, in different scenarios.” Dirk cleared his throat.


“It sounds like you were happy with him.”


“Yeah! I was real happy with him. I loved him with every fiber of my body… right up until he cheated on me. I took his shit for a while, not saying anything even though it would always happen right in front of me. I’d literally see it from the corner of my eye but try and deny it…”


His mind went back to that day…

~ o0o ~

Dirk unlocked the door and stepped inside his shared flat. He was soaking wet. When Jake had come home, he left, going for a run in the rain. Jake greeted him from the couch. He stared back at him, not processing a word he said. His eyes were blank, his expression empty. Jake didn’t even notice. He turned back to the television, completely naïve.


It had been happening for a while now – the cheating; the late nights out, the lying while his neck was lined with bruises and visible, the good bye kisses behind his back at work. He had kept silent about it, hoping that he would stop seeing him, or them, and everything would be alright. But it’d been about a year since the first incident that he knew of.


Jake finally turned to him.


“Go dry off, love. You’re getting the floor wet.”

Dirk looked up from his feet. “Don’t… don’t call me love, English.”


“What’s your deal?” he asked, getting up from the couch.


“My deal? My deal is that I thought you were my boyfriend, not everyone on the block’s boyfriend.”


“What are you talking about?” Jake denied. Did he think he was stupid?


“STOP LYING TO ME! STOP IT! I can’t take it anymore. I know you’re cheating on me. I know you’ve been cheating on me for a long time.” He was crying, and shaking. Not because of the chill of the A/C against his wet skin, but because his heart felt as if it were breaking into pieces and rotting away.


Jake didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t back himself out of this one.


“Why him? John. It probably sounds really arrogant, but I don’t think he’s better looking than me so I’m assuming that he’s got something else that I don’t? So what is it?”

Jake didn’t say anything.


“ANSWER ME.” Dirk cried. “Does he have a bigger heart? Is he a better cook, does he take care of you better than I do? Does he fuck better than me? I just want to know, before you leave for good, give me that much.”


Jake ignored him, walking into their bedroom and pulling his suitcase from beneath the bed. He took his clothes off the hangers and folded them neatly. He got his stuff out of the bathroom and threw them in while Dirk screamed at him. He finally went up to him and punched him in the jaw. Jake fell against the wall, knocking the lamp off the bedside table and busting the bulb.


Jake glared up at him. “You’re overbearing and clingy. You smother me. You’re too paranoid all the time. It’s like you expect me to cheat on you. John is everything you’re not. He’s not afraid of his insecurities or to be caught off guard or anything because of some massive sense of pride.”


“So you need space… you could have just told me. You’ve been blowing me off, lying to me, but please… can we just work this out?”


“Jesus, Dirk. How long have I been cheating on you? You’d think you get it. We’ve been over for a while. I’m sick of you.”


He stood up, and closed his suitcase and left, leaving Dirk to stand there, trying to hold himself together.

~ o0o ~

Dirk was slouched over into Dave’s lap crying. Dave didn’t know what to say or do for him, other than to hold him and burry kisses in his hair. He had never seen him cry, not even growing up with him. He felt Dirk’s betrayal. He understood what Jake meant, about him being overbearing, but he didn’t have to put him through that torment. He pulled him up took his face in his hands.


“Dirk! Dirk, look at me. Stay cool, bro.”

He looked up at him wiping the tears from his eyes. “I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have talked about it. I knew I was going to end up like this.” He tried to smile.


“It’s okay, man. You can cry around me. How long have I known you? I know you’re not weak. You’re one of the strongest I know.” He pressed his forehead against his and smiled. “Okay?”


The doorbell rang. “I’ll get it.”


He came back with their food, and separated each other’s boxes. To cheer Dirk up, he attempted to use chopsticks and failed miserably. Dirk laughed at the feeble attempt, and positioned them in his hands and then showed him how to use them.  “Like this!” He said, grabbed up a piece of chicken and popped it into his mouth.


After they finished eating, Dave convinced Dirk to stay the night. He could tell he was still upset about him and Jake. No matter how much time had passed, it still carved a wound in his heart. He grabbed his hand and pulled him into the bathroom. He turned on the water and let it heat up, turning to Dirk and wrapping his arms around him. He stood on his toes and reached up to capture his lips with his own. His hands slid beneath his shirt, pulling it over his head.


“You want to go another round? Even after the shoot?”


“I can manage.” Dave whispered. They undressed each other, dishing out soft affections in between.


Dave was in control, leading him into the shower. The hot water poured down into their bodies but they didn’t mind. He got on his tip toes and kissed him again. Dirk wrapped his arms around him and pulled him up to wrap his legs around his waist. Dirk felt like a little kid; the butterflies in his stomach, the blush on his cheeks, the sweetness of it all. After hearing what Jake had done to him, Dave realized why he was so defensive and paranoid about him seeing other people. He seemed so hurt.


The way he cried….


He wanted nothing more than to make all that pain go away, at least for one night. He felt his back press against the cold wall and gasped. Dirk laughed and took advantage of his open mouth. His lips pressed against his slightly parted ones, his tongue slipping past and meeting his. From there it was a battle for domination in a kiss. He pressed his forehead against his and looking into his eyes as if to ask for permission.


Dave smiled and kissed him again, this time gently biting his lip and nodding. No words had to be said. Dirk wrapped and arm around his waist and used his other hand to position his cock against his hole. He slowly pushed in. Dave was only a little sore from the shoot earlier but he definitely had enough juice in him for another round. Besides, it was shower sex. He’d always wanted shower sex!


He moaned quietly, laying his head on Dirk’s shoulder. “Come on, Dave. Don’t be shy. Let me hear you.” The older man whispered to him as he buried himself deeper inside of him.


Dave gasped and moaned louder. Dirk gave slow deep thrusts. “Fuck, Dirk! Oh god…”


He went a little harder, watching Dave’s expression changed and muscles twitch as he grinned. “Louder, baby, come on.” He kissed his cheek and nudged him with his nose.


“Dirk, I have neighb-OH! SHIT! Right there! I swear you’re going to kill me one day with t-this.”


“With what?” Dirk laughed. “My dick?”


Dave laughed harder that he probably should have at the question, wrapping his arms around his neck, nearly causing them both to slip in the tub.  There was a banging on the wall.


“QUIET DOWN!” yelled the muffled voice of the neighbor Dave had warned Dirk about.


“See I told you!” He whispered, still giggling. “Be quiet!”

“Let’s finish in the bedroom. It’s really hot in here.” Dirk said, pulling Dave off of him. He whined at the empty feeling. Dirk shushed him and threw him a towel. Dave put the towel on his head and roughly dried his hair before dragging it across his body until he was soft and dry. Dirk did the same and met him in the bedroom. 


 He crawled on top of him and brought his legs up around his neck. He wrapped his arms around his waist and held him to his body.


He flicked his tongue across his hole and trailed up to his balls and up his shaft. Dave squirmed and it made him smile. His tongue dipped back down to his hole, outlining the ring of muscle until he relaxed again. He put him down lingered on his belly for a moment, kissing and sucking the soft skin, leave little marks.


 “Are you already getting sleepy?” He asked, looking up at him from his stomach. He placed a kiss above his belly button.  Dave smiled and nodded. He gave a great yawn and a half lidded gaze.


“It’s been a long day; long night, too.”


“I’ll be quick.” He reassured him, giggling. He was kind of sleepy, too. He yawned.


“Actually, how about a lazy hand job?”


Dave chuckled. “Fine with me, man. I’m pretty content.”


Dirk sat up against the head board and pulled him next to him. He wrapped his hand around Dave’s cock, and Dave his. Their hands ran up and down each other’s cocks.


Dirk knew exactly where to put pressure and just how much to give. He knew how to milk him for all he was worth. Dave came into his hand.


He wiped it into a tissue, and guided Dave, showing him the tricks of the trade.


“Give extra attention right here.” He said pointing to a specific area near the tip of his cock.


Dave rubbed his thumb into the spot, massaging it.  It seemed as if Dirk had melted at the touch, sinking down into the mattress with his face all flushed. “Mhmm… fuck, Dave.”


“Right here?” Dave asked solely to tease him. Still managing to work that one spot he began to move down to the base of his shaft and his balls. He crawled between his legs and moved his face to his balls, taking them in his mouth. The half lidded gaze he gave Dirk nearly pushed him over the edge all by itself.


“D-Dave! Just a little more! ” Dirk said before he came, smearing a bit of the white cream into the corner of Dave’s mouth as he pulled up and licked it all up. He crawled on top of him and laid his head on his chest. Dave was asleep in no time at all. Dirk enjoyed the silence, running his fingers through Dave’s hair.


He felt rather… peaceful. It could have been the after effects of orgasm, but it wasn’t that kind of peace. He felt at rest. He wasn’t angry. He didn’t fill that lingering ache of betrayal. In fact, he was filled to the brim with nothing but love, and aw man, he felt ridiculous. Smiling to himself, wiggling his toes happily and reminiscing, trying to remember the last time he felt like this.

And the more he thought he more he realized that the last time he was so content was babysitting Dave when he was a toddler. Sure, Dirk had been young too at the time, but with his family’s budget, they couldn’t afford to pay someone. He had to man up! Step up to the plate for his little bro. He fed him, played with him, told him stories at night, and if they were especially good, Dave’s mom would bring them home some ice cream.


Dave just made him as happy as could be.


Chapter Text

Dave wrote the customer’s name on his order and called his number. He came up and took it, dropping a tip into the tip jar and walking out. He checked his watch – time to clock out. He took off his apron and his name tag and put it into his bag. He checked his phone. Two missed calls from Dirk. He checked his voice mail.


“Hey Dave. Just making sure you remember we have a meeting tonight. Should start at six so don’t be late! Bye, kid.”


He smiled to himself.  There was two hours until the meeting, but since he didn’t have anything else to do, he went ahead to the company and lounged in the meeting room. With the money he’d been making lately, he was able to buy a brand new tablet, which conveniently doubled as a laptop. He set it up, plugging in his headphones and bringing up his music library.  At the volume he set it at, he couldn’t hear anything going on around him. He jumped when he felt hands come down on his shoulders. He jerked out his headphones.


“Hey, Dave! You’re here early. ” Jake said cheerfully.


Dave cringed, remembering how Dirk had basically collapsed in his arms crying about him. It was enough to make him bitter about things. He sighed as he reasoned with himself. The whole reason he had asked Dirk about him and Jake was so that he wouldn’t get dragged into their line of fire. He felt like if he didn’t keep taking to Jake as if he hadn’t heard a thing about them, he had made Dirk cry for nothing. He smiled.


“Hey!” he said enthusiastically.  “What’s up?”


“I just finished a shoot with John. I was on my way to check on him. I haven’t officially introduced you two, have I?”


“Uhh… we’ve ran into each other but never really talked or anything.”


Jake nodded. “You guys would get along well! He’s really fun. ” He tugged on his sleeve. “Come on. We’ll check in on him together.”


“Yeah man, just a sec.” Dave said, putting all his things into a bag and hanging it over his shoulder. He followed Jake to John’s dressing room, and prayed to any listening God that Dirk didn’t stroll his happy ass around the corner and see them.  They stopped, and Jake knocked on his door.


“It’s me!” Jake called out as he barged in.


John sat in a chair at the counter. He smiled to Jake and then turned to Dave. “Hey! Great job on your last shoot with Dirk! It really got a lot of hits! The viewer’s really seem to like you!”


Dave’s eyes lit up. “Really? Thanks, I didn’t think I’d get that much of a response.”

Jake and John both scoffed. “Are you kidding, man? They love you! Check this out.” John pulled out this phone and brought up the company site to pull up the stats for all of his shoots.


“On your first night, the views were average. It’s expected for any newbie.” He scrolled down. “You haven’t done a ton of shoots left and you’ve got more views than I did when I did my first couple of shoots combined.”

Dave grabbed the device staring in awe of the numbers.


“Holy shit!” he gasped.


“Keep it up and you could make it big man.”


He smiled, and even blushed. He had no idea people would like him that much. He had always heard that everybody loved a hot blonde, but he never imagined he would be that blonde.  


“Oh yeah! Dave, Dad said that during the meeting tonight we’re going to be looking at requests and possibly scheduling in some more variety.” Jake said as he winked to Dave whose brow furrowed.




“Yeah. Apparently, a lot of people want to see you and John. I can see it happening. I’d watch it.”


Before Dave could say anything an intern popped his head in. “Hey! We’re starting early!”


Dave gasped internally. “Is Dirk here yet?”


“Nah. He said he’d be here in about 5 minutes, though. There’s a pile up on the main road so he’s going to detour.”


Dave sighed. He really didn’t want to have to deal with him if he saw him walk out of the room with John and Jake. He didn’t really have much time. Jake went over to John and kissed him on the head.  “I’ll be in the conference room, alright? See you in a bit.”


Dave followed him out and pulled him aside before they got into the room. “We need to talk.”


“What’s up?” Jake said lightly.


Dave stuffed his hands in his pockets.  “Look… I know what you did to Dirk.” He said sternly.


Jake frowned. “I didn’t do anything to Dirk.”


“Oh, I’m sorry? I’m pretty sure cheating on him and breaking his heart is considered doing something..”


“I didn’t have a choice. It’s not my fault.”


“That’s bullshit, English, and you know it.” Dave growled. “If you didn’t want to be with him you could have broken up with him. It still would have hurt him, but at least you wouldn’t have left so many emotional scars on him. ”


“I hinted at it multiple times! I couldn’t do it though! I loved him, I really did, and every time I thought about leaving him it hurt me just as bad.”


Dave glared at him waiting for an explanation.  Jake sighed. “Look… I’ll explain it another time. I’m sure he gave you his ‘woe is me’ side of the story.”

Dave could hear Dirk greeting someone from down the hall and quickly fell away from Jakes side and went and sat with the others in the room.  He chatted with Karkat until Dirk settled in next to him, ruffling his hair with his hand.




“Hey! Took you long enough.”

“How long have you been here?”


Dave shrugged. “A while. I’ve just been sitting here waiting for you.” He lied, giving him a soft smile.


Dad came in and sat at the head of the table, pulling out his tablet and connecting it to a projector with a power point. He pulled a laser pointer out of his pocket and stood at the screen.


“Alright boys. It’s been a pretty productive month!” He began. Everyone clapped and cheered. “In fact, this is our best month in a while. The viewings were boosted and we have over a hundred new registrations.

Since there’s been so much production, I put out a few polls to decide what direction we should take in terms of media and advertisement and new shoots.”


He clicked to the next slide. “The viewers have put in various requests for the boys and the most popular among pairings are Karkat and Gamzee, John and Dave and Jake and Dave.”


Oh no.


Dave could feel Dirk tense up next to him. He slid his hand down to his and

intertwined their fingers. His grip was tight. Dad went on. Dave zoomed out, worrying about how Dirk would react to him doing a shoot with Jake. He knew he wasn’t happy about it. He looked over to him. He was biting his nails, looking down at the table with his brows furrowed. He looked up and glared at Jake for a moment. The air was suddenly so thick that you might have been able to really grasp it in your hands and feel it run through your fingers.


Dave jumped when he heard his name.


“You’ve been an extremely great extension of the company and if you keep it up, you’re going to be huge in no time. We’re going to put a three page extra of just you in the next issue of the magazine.”


The magazine? He didn’t even know they had a magazine, but one thing was for sure, what Jake and John had said was true; hearing it from the big man made it really real. It was exciting. For the first time since elementary school, Dave was proud of himself.


He sort of wished that he could call his mom and tell her all about it but that was impossible. She’d have a stroke if she knew he was of all things a porn star, and she’d have a heart attack when she found out that he was fucking his own “brother”. He sighed. 


‘Guess I’ll have to keep it to myself.’ He thought to himself.


After everyone had left, only Dave, John and Jake were left to discuss themes for their shoots. Dirk wandered the halls, looking at the post popular magazine covers they had. There were various boys on the wall, some had stayed and others left. In the middle of them all though, was a giant poster of Dirk and Jake’s cover. He didn’t look at Jake, only at himself. He looked happy.  The corner of him mouth twitched up into a grin.


That feeling… that pure, content, fluttery feeling… he thought he’d never have it again. Maybe now, now that he had Dave, the scars from his last relationship would heal over. He scoffed and kept walking. There he went again… getting all soft; sentimental.


It didn’t take long before they were done and Dave came up behind him, pinching his side and making him jump at the unexpected touch.


“What are you walking around for? I thought you went home?” Dave asked him.


“Nah. Thought I’d wait up.  You want to have another slumber party?”


Dave grinned. “Dude, I’d love to, but I’ve got work tomorrow.”


“Ahh, bummer. Well,” Dirk sighed. “I guess you’ll miss out on the cool new toy I bought.”


Dave squinted at him. “Toy?”


“Forty-eight inch plasma, 3D compatible, consoles hooked up. I got some new games too.”


Goddammit, Dirk.


“Maybe for a bit. I’ll follow you in my car alright?”


He really had a way with words – well, he really had a way of telling you exactly what you want to hear, at least. He followed him down to the garage and all the way back to the dorms. He had almost forgotten how huge the place was. They went up to

Dirk’s room and Dave stared in awe.


Forty-eight inches was a lot bigger that he had envisioned. He really just wanted to sit back and enjoy it.


“Let’s watch a movie!” He said running over to the book shelf Dirk had stocked with the best worst films of the 21st century. He grabbed a random flick and popped it into the DVD player.


“Dude! Whoa, whoa, whoa!”


“What?” Dave asked startled but his reaction. “Don’t you want to watch a movie with me?”


“Yeah but we totally got to heat up the left over pizza in the fridge.”


Dave smiled. “I’ll get everything set up and you get the snacks?”


“Done deal. I’ll be back up in a sec.”


Once Dirk had returned he found Dave curled up on his bed in his shirt and boxers. He was dozing off. He chuckled and gently sat down next to him, poking his cheek lightly. Dave jumped and peaked opened his eyes.


“Alright, sleepy. You want to nap instead? You’ve got work tomorrow after all. We can always watch movies another time.”


Dave grinned sleepily, his lids heavy and refusing to stay open. “I don’t think I’m going to work tomorrow, man.”


“Why not?”


Dave yawned and pulled Dirk into the bed by his wrist. “I want to stay with you.”

When he said those words, it reminded him of when they were kids… before they were older and things got rough. He remembered that day clearly. Their parents had been fighting and Dirk’s father decided to leave for a while, only to take a break. He was sending Dirk to his grandparents’ house; put his clothes in a bag and put him on a plane. Dave threw a fit when he thought that he wouldn’t get to go to the airport with him. So Dirk’s dad, just to calm him down, took him with them and then drove him back home afterwards and went off on a cross-country road trip to “escape the troubles of family life.”


As Dirk got in line to give the woman his ticket and get onto the plane, Dave crashed into him from behind, wrapping his arms around him and when his dad went to pull him away, Dave whispered to him, “I want to stay with you, Dirk. Don’t go.”

He put the plate of pizza aside and crawled in next to him, pressing play on the remote. A soft tune of came from the TV as the opening credits of the film rolled. It wasn’t long before he was snoring along with Dave, who was nestled into his side.




Chapter Text

Dave helped load Dirk's bags into his car. This weekend, Dirk was leaving to go to Los Angeles, Vegas, Dallas and New York to porn conventions to represent and promote the company. Dave made sure he had all of this things and then some, a habit he had gotten from his mother, who always made sure that he and Dirk were taken care of.

Dirk closed the trunk and leaned back against the car.

"Now, David," he mocked. "Don't be bad while I'm away."

Dave lightly kicked his leg. Dirk wrapped his arms around him and pulled him off the ground as if he weighed two pounds, spinning him around. Dave fussed. He hated it when he did that. The larger man set him down and bent down to kiss his freckled nose.

"I've got to go. I'm running sort of late."

Dave sighed.

"Be safe. Don't get groped by strangers. Call me when you land."

"You know I will. I'll be back soon."

Dave watched him drive down the street until the car disappeared from his line of sight. Dave jumped at the sound of Jakes voice.

"Aww, you guys are cute." He mocked.

"Jesus!" Dave hissed, spinning around.

"Haha, glad he's gone."

Dave rolled his eyes and walked past him.

"Hey Dave!" Jake called out. "Our shoot is later today. You might as well hang around for a bit. I'll give you a ride."

Dave nodded awkwardly. "Yeah, I guess."

Jake frowned. Someone wasn't in a good mood. He seemed fine a moment ago. He grabbed his arm gently and pulled him to face him. He gave him a concerned look.

"What?" Dave asked sharply. Jake sudden knew what was wrong. He never told him his own side of his and Dirks break up, therefore, Dave was still taking Dirk's side.

Sure, he had been hard on Dirk, but there was no other way to get him to leave him. He was sure that after many, many attempts to get Dirk to get a hint or to break up with him and none of them working, that it was the only way; to push him over edge and make him hate him. Somehow, along the way, he had grown to hate him back.

"Dave, I don't want you to hate me over something I thought I had broken away from for good. Please don't hate me…" He nudged him softly.

Dave supposed he was being a little... childish. I mean, it wasn't his fight after all, and he should have stayed out of it.

"I don't hate you, man. I just… Dirk and I hated each other when we were teenagers. I don't know why. He took care of me when I was a kid, hell when he was a kid too and I just… I missed him. I guess I was too worried about being a cool kid, you know? So I just want things to be okay, and things can't be okay if he's fucked up over some break up." he scoffed and rolled his eyes behind his shades. "Enough about that though. Let's just put that behind us."

Jake nodded and tried to lighten the mood. "Let's go inside… Dirk bought some apple juice for you since you've been hanging around more. Let's get something to drink."

Dave perked up right away. They went to the kitchen and Jake poured him a glass full of apple juice. They sat at the island counter chatting for a bit before John came down stairs on the phone. "Yeah, I'm on my way now. "He grabbed his keys off a hook by the front door and quickly slipped into the kitchen to kiss Jake goodbye and chug the last bit of Dave's apple juice and disappeared with a wink.

Dave pouted before he grumbled about his lack of juice before Jake checked his phone for the time. "I'm going to hop in the shower and get dressed and then we should leave."

Dave waited for him downstairs, spending his time chugging all the apple juice he could hold and left with Jake after he was ready. At work, they split ways in the dressing rooms, Dave finding a surprise box waiting for him. Of course, this had happened before, and he knew what to do. He pulled the clothing out piece by piece staring in wonder as he attempted to figure out exactly how he was supposed to wear it.

It was black, latex and fitting, and appeared to be shorts; but he could've been wrong. No matter how hard he tried to squeeze into them they refused to be worn. He finally stomped to the door and peaked outside. No one was in sight. John walked past him.

"Psst! John! John! I need help!"

John turned and furrowed his brows.

"What are you doing?" Dave asked trying to avoid saying that he couldn't pull his pants up or something embarrassing like that.

"Uhh, I just finished a shoot with Karkat… what are you doing?"

"Oh… I uh…" he gulped.

"Because you look distressed." John giggled.

Dave sighed. "Im doing a shoot with Jake… and I cannot get this stupid outfit on for the life of me."


Jake didn't usually make him wear outfits… not unless they did role play or bdsm. John slid into the room and instantly recognized the outfit and snorted.

"What!?" Dave grumbled defensively.

"It's nothing just… take off your clothes."

Dave frowned at him and stood still. John huffed, "Dude you are not going to get this on without lubing up. Take off your clothes and stop being a nerd."

He laughed and pulled his shirt over his head. Dave blushed. John poured some warming lube into his hands and got down on his knees in front of him. He patted his thigh and looked up at him.

"Legs apart."

Dave internally groaned but listened to him. John's hands traveled between his legs rubbing the warm oil onto his thighs. Dave looked away. Why did he have to start at such an erogenous spot? He felt his hands rub down his legs and the back of his calves. Oh god… he could feel his cock just slightly twitch. He tried to think of anything to stop his dick from rising; rotten breath, grandma's beluga whales… Just as he got it under control John noticed he was avoiding eye contact and flushing bright pink. He laughed when he noticed his half hard cock.

"Stop being so embarrassed, Dave! We're porn stars! 99% of our lives consists of erections. I'm not some teenaged girl. I know that this happens. Besides, we have a shoot together soon too, don't we?"

Dave nervously laughed. "Yeah."

"Sooo… lighten up, dude. It's not like everyone in this building hasn't seen you naked and bent over a desk or something before."

OH GOD. Dave tried to never think about that. He knew that it was probably illogical to be so embarrassed about it at this point but still…

John stood and began to rub his chest and shoulders down.

"Heads up, though; usually when Jake has you dress up it's because he's in a mood to get rough; really rough. Call him "sir" and uh, be sweet. He loves a lush." He tossed the shorts to him. "Try them on now."

He did, and they slid right on. He looked in the mirror. They were shorter than the skirt Dirk had made him wear. He sighed. He slid on the top piece. It was long sleeved and covered his neck and went down just below his nipples. He chuckled as he imagined it to be "half a latex turtle neck".

There was a knock at the door. "We need Dave out in five!"

"Yeah, alright!" he called out.

John grabbed him by the shoulders. "Yo! Remember the codes, man. Red, yellow, green!"

Dave nodded. "Y-Yeah! Thanks for the help, John."

"Anytime, man. Hey, stick around after the shoot and we can go get something to eat."

Dave nodded as he opened the door. "Yeah, see you then!"

Two men led him down the hall, past the room he had grown so fond of, that he and Dirk usually did shoots in. They turned at the end and one of them unlocked another hall, where the atmosphere shifted upon entrance.

The carpet that lined most of the halls turned to concrete. The doors were heavy and the rooms were sound proof. They went into the room, Dave scanning around carefully with pre-show butterflies. A sex swing hung from the ceiling.

"Alright." One began, sliding on gloves. He positioned his arms in front of him and showed him exactly how he wanted him to position his arms behind his back. He tied his arms together behind him. Dave wiggled, trying to adjust to the awkward feeling of being bound. They helped him into the swing and secured the straps around his waist and things and finally, they blindfolded him and left him only for Jake to enter moments later.

There were three beeps over the intercom and then a voice that called "action!"

Dave heard footsteps approaching and turned his head towards the noise. Fingers entangled with his blonde locks, pulling his neck back.

"Ah!" he gasped.

There was a chuckle. "Aw, look at you… All tied up, no place to go. " Jake's voice was so smooth. It gave him goose bumps and forced him to smile and in turn Jake giggled. "Happy to see me?" He smacked the inside of his oiled thigh and it stung. Dave hissed at the pain.

"AH! Yes sir!"

"Oh! And you learn so quickly." He leaned down and kissed him softly. His hand went down to his bulge rubbing it through the tight latex shorts. Dave groaned. His tongue slipped past his lips and rolled lightly across the roof of his mouth, tickling him. Dave pulled back and smiled.

Jake pulled his hair harder, earning a whine from him and then bending down further to meet his ear.

"Are you going to be good?"

Dave nodded. He jerked on his hair. "Y-Yes, sir!"

"Are you going to complain?"

"No sir."

His voice got deeper and had a brief cruel tang to it. "Are you going to suck my cock for me?"

Dave nodded. "Yes sir! I'll suck your cock real good, sir."

"Yeah? Show me."

Jake stood and pulled his cock out, rubbing it across Dave's puckered lips. The blonde opened his mouth and let him ease in. His lips closed around his tip. Jake slid his shaft down his throat, gagging him and then pulling back so he could breathe. He slid back down, holding his head in place.

"Mm!" Dave grunted for air.

Jake pulled back and gazed down at him. There was a stir inside of him, a sadistic edge. The things he wanted to do to him… well, it was an experimental shoot, right? He could have his fun. He spoke.

"Tell me what you want." He requested with a grin. "Do you want to ride my cock? Do you want me to fuck you real hard, Dave?"

"Y-Yes!" he muttered, squirming in his bonds.


"Please, sir, I want your cock in my ass! Fuck me!" he cried exasperatedly. They had just begun but he was already so hard, so eager. The tip of his dick was oozing with pre-cum. Jake rubbed his cock and balls through the latex and whispered in his ear.

"You'll have to wait."

Dave smile faded. "Please, sir…"

"Now, Dave. You said you wouldn't fuss. Let me have my fun and then I'll give you whatever you want… I promise." He kissed his nose.

Dave began to worry. If "his fun" wasn't fucking him senseless then what was it?

Jake walked away and as he came back he heard a popping; but not like the popping of a whip. No, this was a different pop. It was loud and sharp and very quick and still familiar and even terrifying. Something hard pressed to his skin, and with the next pop, there was an electric shock that trembled through Dave's body.

He screamed, his back arching up. It wasn't a small charge. It was strong and when he felt it once, he had had enough. He pleaded and tried to squirm away from him but couldn't escape.

"No! No, Jake."

He was shocked again. "It's sir."

"Please sir! Please!" he cried, squirming away from him. "J-Jake! Please! Don't do that, please!" It grew quiet, the only sound in the room his labored breathing as he pulled away from the device pressing against his skin.

"I'll do anything, sir, ple-AHH!" He growled as he bared through it until he couldn't take anymore.

Jake pressed it against his chest about to administer another shock before he saw tears dripping from under the blindfold. Dave whimpered softly and weakly "Red! Red, I'm red, please Jake… please sir. Stop."

It was so quiet… Jake didn't think even the mics would catch the words as the drifted from his lips. He felt a bit guilty that he hadn't realized sooner that he had crossed the line. He tossed it aside and praised him for toughing it out.

"Good boy." He said sternly but lovingly to him, cupping his cheek in his hand and unstrapping his thighs. His legs fell to the floor and he struggled to catch himself and hold his own weight. He pulled him into a brief kiss as he released his wrists. He fell into his arms and Jake took a handful of his hair.

Dave gasped at the pain as Jake dragged him up to the camera and positioned himself behind him, taking his jaw in his hand.

"Look at the camera." He whispered.

Dave felt his cock brush against his cheek and turned his head slightly and it ran across his lips.

"Suck it for me… keep looking at the camera. Show your daddy how much you like it."

Dave blushed and moved his eyes away from the camera only to have Jake force him to face it again.

The blonde trailed kisses down his stomach and made his way down to his cock, teasing it before he took it in his mouth. His tongue swirled around the thick tip, trailing around the very edge of it. He used one hand to work the rest of the shaft as he sucked and played with it.

Jake took in a sharp breath as he moved to the underside and base.

"F-Fuck… Dave… right there. Suck right there!" His fingers intertwined with his hair.

He ran a finger up his shaft as he worked at the base, teasing him, and suddenly Jake sat up pulling him over to a mattress on the floor. Jake laid back and pulled him on top of him. Dave spread his legs and put them on both sides of Jakes body. He reached over and grabbed a bottle of lube and fiddled with the cap, trying to get it off. The bigger man took it from him and got the cap off easily, pouring some into his palm and lathering up his length, putting any extra on Dave's entrance.

He pressed into him, slowly earning way. Dave hissed at the slight discomfort of stretching but easily adjusts to Jake's size. He was maybe a tiny bit smaller than Dirk, but still hearty. He began to thrust and Dave thought he was going to cum right away. He had been more worked up than he'd thought. His nails dug into his shoulders.

"OH!... Oh f-fuck…" he whimpered.

Jake grabbed him by the jaw and slapped him, not hard enough to really hurt him, but enough to get his attention. "You like this?"

Dave nodded, gasping as he went deeper.

"Huh?" He gave him another, slightly harder slap. "You like it when I treat you like a slut?"

"Y-Yes! Oh god, fuck me like your whore – fuck me like you fuck John."

Jake smiled. "Are you sure?"

Jake deepened his thrusts, nearly pulling all the way out and then shoving back inside of him. Dave cried out and smiled at the warm buzz vibrating through his body and centralizing at his groin. "Fuck me harder, sir!" He whined. "F-Fuck m- AH! Ohhh… keep going I'm going to cum! Make me cum!"

Jake gripped his cock. "Cum with me, Dave." He whispered, smashing their lips together in a messy and almost violent kiss. He gave a few more thrusts and released inside of him, letting Dave finally come with him, spurting it across his chest before he collapsed in his arms.

They called cut. Jake pulled out, his cum oozing from Dave's twitching hole. He instantly picked him up and wrapped towels around them as he took him back to his dressing room. He sat him on the counter and hugged him, putting his head against his chest.

"I hope I didn't hurt you too bad. I should have been more careful about it." He whispered.

Dave grimaced uncomfortably. "It's fine. It's over now. I should have said something, I guess." He dismissed. They were quiet for a moment as they stood close to each other whispering sweet reassurances. It was nice. Dirk never did that with him. Jake had told him that he sucked at aftercare after all, though.

"Stay here, I'll get you some juice. I'll be right back. Do you want a granola or som-"

The door opened. John stood awkwardly, handing his cellphone to Jake. "It's for you." He said simply, but gravely.

Jake took the phone and John jumped up onto the counter next to Dave.


Immediately, they could all hear a roaring voice over the phone. Jake jerked it away from his ear.

"Whoa, whoa! Calm down. Everything is fine!"

There were more muffled yells. "HE IS FINE… How could I have known that?... I'm sorry. I understand why you're angry and I could have done things bett-" there was a beep and suddenly Dirk was on speaker.


Jake silenced. Dave's eyes were wide.


There was silence. Dave looked away from them.

There was a sigh. "Put him on the phone."

"I'm not sure he wants to talk right now." He said, reading Dave's expression.

Dirk didn't listen. "PUT HIM ON THE PHONE."

Dave reached out and took the phone from him. "Everything's fine, Dirk. I'm fine." He whispered. Dirk's voice softened.

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly. "I was watching on the site. You should have told him Dave," he began firmly. "That if you weren't comfortable with that, not to do it. Do you want me to come home?"

"No, no! I'm fine, Dirk. Don't be stupid. You just left today. I hope you didn't cause a ruckus on the plane."

"No, we had to land and get on another plane. I don't know what's going on. Someone said something about the engine, someone else said a storm, who knows."

Dirk coughed. "Don't worry, though. I'll be okay. I'll call you tonight, alright? Tell Jake, I'll kick his ass when he I get home."

Dave scoffed. "Bye, Dirk."

Dirk laughed. "Bye. Be good, bro. More importantly, make sure they're good to you." He hung up.

Dave handed the phone back to John. "I'm getting in the shower real fast." He said in an attempt to flee the room quickly.

John grabbed his wrist. "Still want to go eat?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm starving, man. Just wait up for me."

"Okay. I'll meet you in the lobby." Dave nodded and went into the bathroom where there was a small, step in shower. He let the towel covering his body fall to the floor as he turned on the water and let it heat. He slid the shower curtain aside and stepped in, standing in the path of the hot drizzle. His hands ran down his body and his brain shook against the walls of his skull. Bad memories flooded his mind.

~ o0o ~

Chapter Text

"Dirk…why don't you stop him, bro? He's hurting me… Dirk!"

Dirk rolled in the hotel bed, the sheets tangled around his body. He grunted as the electric popping grew louder in his head and his brothers pre-pubescent cries grew more frantic. He shook his head side to side drowsily. He was on the edge of waking up, but still, stuck in a horrible nightmare that had haunted his conscience for years.

"Dirk, stop him! Stop him! Please, Dirk! Please!"

Dirk began to talk in his sleep. "D-Dave… Dad, stop… you're hurting h-…."

Dirk's eyes snapped open, tears already welled up in them. It was just a dream… all a bad dream… a terrible memory. He sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. God… if only he would have had the balls to help him… if he could have stood up to his father… But he was too much of a wimp then.

He wiped his tears and checked his phone. He had two missed calls. He must have forgotten to check after his panel. He dialed his voicemail and listened to the messages.

"Hey Dirk! Uhh… I know we just got off the phone all but I wanted to talk a little bit longer but you had to go so th-" it cut off.

Dirk furrowed his brows and went to the next message. "Sorry, man! My battery got low. Anyways, im just leaving a message of me rambling because I just… need to talk. You can ignore this if you want, I mean, I'm sure you don't want to listen to me talk and all…"

Dirk smiled and laid back down, plugging headphones into his phone and listening carefully to his voice and how he pronounced certain words and how he used "like" and "uhh" as fillers. He slowly drifted back to sleep, this time, having much nicer dreams.

~ o0o ~

Dirk had been gone forever; but not really, it just felt that way to Dave. Once his apartment got too lonely, having grown accustomed to Dirk's constant company, he ended up at the house with the rest of the boys, spending nights in Dirk's room, curled up on his bed. John came in sometimes and kept him company, but finally, he went home, John with him. He spent a few nights and kept him company.

John came out of the bathroom. "Hey, Dad cancelled our shoot." He said, peaking his head into the room. "He didn't say why. I think he just got wrapped up in other things and thought of something better for the site."

"Yeah?" Dave noted, pausing the game he had been playing for the last hour.

"Yeah. I'm kind of disappointed, to be honest…" he trailed off. "I mean, I was kind of looking forward to it." John looked away, sighing deeply with the slightest of grins on his face.

Dave snorted and went back to his game. John rolled his eyes and sat quietly next to him, thinking about how Dave reacted to getting shocked. He glanced over at him. Dave was completely consumed by the video game. Maybe now wasn't a good time to ask, but John couldn't stand it anymore.

"So you know how Jake shocked you a few times during the shoot?" he brought up to begin.

"Yeah." Dave said while nodding.

"You were really afraid. You've never used the safe words with Dirk and he's done some pretty intense things with you… What's your problem with…electricity? "

He didn't seem happy about the question. After trying to ignore it, he finally sighed and paused the game. He looked over to John but didn't make any eye contact with him. He finally spoke.

"When Dirk and I's parents finally got married, his dad revealed a side of himself he had never shown before. And he didn't show it in front of my mother but when it was only Dirk and I around, he was terrible." Dave whispered, running his fingers through his hair.

"So one day when I got sick of him hurting Dirk I tried to fight him and he took the shock collar off our dog and made me wear it when my mom wasn't there." His voice began to break. "And if I didn't do something right or if he just wanted to hurt me, he would press the button and electrocute me. Sometimes just brief shocks, but other times…" tears ran from his eyes. "Other times he'd hold that button down and I couldn't move. It would burn my skin, and I couldn't do anything! I couldn't fight! I couldn't, I COUL-"

"Stop it! STOP IT DAVE!" John threw himself into his lap and grabbed his face. "It's okay! Look at me!" He pressed his forehead against his. "I'm sorry I asked." He whispered, kissing his nose and holding him tightly. "Relax, all of that is over. It's over."

Dave was shaking. John pushed him back, and he laid down on the couch. John held him, shushing him away from the bad memories. He was fond of Dave, not just as a fan of his shoots but hanging out with him so often, even for such a short period of time, had given the boy plenty of time to grow on him. One could say that he had a "friend crush" on him. He was happy to know him and in return he wanted Dave to have that same happiness.

They were stomach to stomach, John's head on his shoulder, his lips muttered comfort words into his hear. Dave was still all shaken up from the memory. John tried to calm him in the way he would calm Jake down when his feathers were ruffled because of something. He, very cautiously, unsure of how Dave may take it, kissed just below his ear. John watched him carefully, going on to give him another kiss and then another, working his way around his jawline and to his chin only to venture further to his lips. Dave finally kissed him back and then moved onto his sides. John still clung to him.

"Better?" John asked quietly.

Dave only nodded in reply. A tune rang from John's cellphone. He took it out and peaked at the message he'd received, looking back up and sighing.

"I've got to go." He said, breaking the silence between them. "If you need me," he began, his toning becoming very serious. "Even if you just want me here, you call me, alright… Dave?"

"Yeah. Uhh, thanks… John… for helping. I would have torn apart the house if you didn't calm me down. I really freak out sometimes."

That only made John worry about him more. He gave him one last kiss and put on his jacket, leaving with a nod and wave. Dave sat in silence for a bit. He checked his phone, staring at the "0 missed calls" and "no new messages". He huffed. Out of mere luck, he suddenly received a text. It was Dirk.

Hey, did you get that thing I set you?

It said. Dave furrowed his brows.

No? I didn't know you sent me "a thing".

Dirk responded.

Aw, really? It should have been delivered today. I tracked the shipping.

Dave was suspicious and anxious now. What had he sent him and why was it referred to as, mysteriously, "the thing"?

Hold on, I'll go down to the mail box.

Dave grabbed the mail box key and headed to the door but when he opened the door he found the said "thing" waiting for him in a scarf with a big silly bow on his head.

"DIRK!" He nearly screaming, jumping up into his arms like Scooby-doo. Dirk kissed his forehead and stumbled inside the warmth of Dave's apartment. He pulled back to see his face.

"Hey have you been crying? Why are your eyes all red and runny?"

Dave snorted. "Allergies, I guess." He lied giving him another kiss.

Dirk threw his bag aside and took his face in his hands. "Hey, maybe you shouldn't be kissing me like that. I've got a cold."

"I don't care dude."

"I'm seriously sick, man." Dirk mumbled as he stretched his neck away from Dave's lips.

However, Dave was determined and very happy to see him. He felt like a puppy, wagging his tail, jumping up and down yipping like some kind of bitch. He shoved him over the leg of the couch and tackled him. Dirk groaned at the weight.

"Aw, come on! Dave!"

"Nope! Not stopping until my lips ache, pal." Dave said between kisses.

Dirk submitted, smiling like a mad man until he stopped. Dave laid on top of him, feeling that lost piece of him returning now that Dirk was back. Dirk sat up and reached for his bag, pulling out a housing magazine.

He explained. "I found these really nice condos downtown. I checked them out on my way here and they're really nice, Dave. They're actually really big. We could have our own room, and there's another room. We could make it a game room or something. There's a kitchen and a dining room and a super sweet living area with a great view of the city and I really think we should get it. You know… move in with each other… I mean, it's better than this crummy place."

Dave snatched up the magazine, looking at the floor plan and pictures of the bottom floor. It was luxury. He looked around at his old place. Now that he thought about it, wasn't his carpet white at some point? It would be nice to change scenery. He looked at the price. Holy shit… it was more than he could afford… or, could have afforded, before he did porn and all. Now days, that wouldn't even cost him half his paycheck.

He got excited, most of all, at the thought that he would finally have a place that felt like home. He would have a place with a functioning air conditioner, and a toilet the actually flushed regularly and most of all, he'd feel like part of a family. Even if it was a family that consisted only of Dirk and the stupid puppets he collected. He smiled and nodded.

"This really looks great. Can we go look at it sometime this week?" He said, flipping through the pages.

"Yeah, whenever. We can go tomorrow."

Dave nodded. By the end of the month, they found themselves moving into their new home. They ditched Dave's old furniture and got some things to go with the interior of the condo. Feeling uplifted by the mood, Dave called his mom and told her about it. She was delighted more than anything to here that Dirk and Dave were talking and even living together, even after ripping at each other's throats in their teen years. He told her about everything… except that they were porn stars, possibly but unofficially dating and fucking on a regular basis. He wasn't sure how his mom would even deal with that; "that" being how she would dispose of his corpse once she choked him to death.

His mom was a wonderful lady and he loved her to death but if he had to sit through the sex talk one more time along with that judging glare that would last the entire speech he would leap out of the window of their new home. Even so, he invited her over for a house warming dinner.

But they did not expect the uninvited guest.


Chapter Text

Gamzee had gone insane. His dealer had gotten himself arrested. Karkat passively tried to stop him from tearing apart their dorm but when he had already broken the bed, shredded the couch like a dog and thrown the microwave through the window and into the yard he was a little hesitant.


Karkat was alone with Gamzee and that frightened him the most. John and Jake had gone out and he didn't know what to do. If he hurt him no one would be there to help him. Still, Gamzee would hurt himself if he didn't stop. He ran up to him and jerked the blender out of his hands and slapped him as hard as he could.

"STOP IT, GAMZEE! JUST CUT IT OUT, YOU IDIOT!" he screamed. "I'm almost 50% sure there are other Sopor dealers in the country. We'll find another one. It's not a big fucking deal."

Gamzee glared at him with disbelief. Karkat tensed up. He was about to get it. He supposed he deserved it. He should have left him alone and left the house – let his rage pass. No… Karkat didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve to be abused because Gamzee couldn't function as a person. He was tired of it, honestly. He was tired of being used as some fuck toy, and tired of him hurting him emotionally, mentally and physically. Gamzee came towards him and he slapped his hands away.

"Don't fucking touch me." He growled.

Gamzee snarled and suddenly snatched him up by this throat. Karkat gasped and gripped his wrists as he was slammed against the wall. "I'll touch you however I fuckin' like. Don't be a little bitch, Kat."

Karkat couldn't breathe, or speak. He felt himself blacking out. He kneed Gamzee in the stomach and he dropped him to the floor, hunching over in pain. Karkat was dizzy but knew he had to get away from him. He began to crawl for the door, stumbling to his feet and catching himself on the counter. Gamzee grabbed him by the hair and threw him onto the ground behind him. He couldn't get up fast enough and Gamzee was on top of him before he could blink. He grabbed him by his shirt and slammed him into the floor. Karkat screamed but Gamzee only continuously threw punches at him. Karkat finally went limp, unable to fight him. He was sure he had broken his nose. He definitely needed stitches.

Unfortunately, Gamzee didn't stop there. He dragged him out into the hall and stood him at the top of the stairs. Karkat's world was spinning. The stairs seemed to go on forever. He softly uttered Gamzee's name in a plea, weakly reaching behind him and grabbing at his hips.

"No… please, Gamzee… don't let me fall, please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, baby ple-"

Gamzee let go, watching him tumble down the stairs and even laughing, saying something Karkat didn't catch about "learning a lesson". His entire body throbbed, a few bones broken, face swollen and bruised. He couldn't move an inch and he wished that he would have just killed him or knocked him out or done something to ease his agony. He would have preferred death because he knew that he loved him all too much and would take beatings from him again and again rather than letting him get so much as a paper cut. But now, he began to reconsider and felt that maybe… just maybe… this would be the last time he dealt with his cruelty.

~ o0o ~

It was John's bright idea to force Jake and Dirk to be in the same room with each other. He wanted a double date, and admittedly, Dave liked the idea too. They went to the nicest Italian place in the town and John had even convinced them to come to the dorms to play Twister and various other games. While it seemed childish, they were all internally thrilled but said nothing, except for John who had declared that he would kick all their asses.

Dave sat in the backseat with Dirk, with his head on his shoulder. Dirk was talking about the convention tour and how everything went. They pulled into the drive way and Dave and John raced ahead of them like kids, bursting through the door and crashing into the couch. They laughed loudly, play fighting but then John froze.

"Did you hear something?"

Karkat was still on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. "Help me… " he whispered.

They both gasped, John running to get Dirk and Jake while Dave went to Karkat's side.

"Dude, oh my god! Oh my god!" Was all he could say. He carefully took Karkat's face in his hands. "Oh my god. What happened, Karkat? Tell me what happened!"

Dirk and Jake stumbled in behind him. Jake began to spit orders at everyone, taking control of the situation.

"Dirk, get some towels from the kitchen, John go get some pain killers and peroxide form the bathroom and bring a big sheet form the closet. We'll carry him to the car and get him to the emergency room."

There was the sound of footsteps running up the stairs. Dirk and Jake looked to John and realized that he hadn't gone up yet. Dave was going to confront Gamzee.

"Dave, leave him alone! DON'T GO UP THERE." Jake yelled.

Dirk bolted past him. "Stay with Karkat! I'll get Dave."

When Dave got upstairs, there was no one in sight. He searched all the rooms in the house and the basement and attic. There was no one. It wasn't fair, Dave thought, that someone could get away with something like that. Karkat could have died and his blood would have been on Gamzee's hands. He didn't even have the nerve to stick around and get what was coming to him or at least call him an ambulance.

They drove him to the hospital and Jake and Dirk forced him to press charges. The next time they saw Gamzee, he would hopefully be in jail. Sure, everyone knew there was something seriously wrong with the guy and that he needed help but with the state Karkat was in, they weren't going to accept his mental state as an excuse.

Karkat slept for nearly a week straight, doped up on pain killers. Part of John couldn't help but think that he wanted to sleep through his heartache more than his physical pain. The pain of being hurt by the one he loved, betrayed and abandoned. He really did love Gamzee but he was no good for him. No one could begin to understand why he, or anyone would ever stay in such a violent relationship. Then again, they also never wanted to experience the things that went through their minds either, so they would never really understand anything other than the simple fact that sometimes it's hard to let go of people. When Karkat woke up, he wouldn't speak to anyone. He had gone mute. He would nod and write things down but not a single word was uttered. Once they felt he was okay, Dave and Dirk stopped spending nights at the hospital.

They were worried but they had more to prepare for. Dave's mother was coming for dinner from all the way across the state and running about the house as Dirk cooked one of his favorites that she used to make every game night when they played soccer together.

"Why are you so stressed out about it, man? She's your mom!"

Dave scoffed. "And I haven't seen her in two years and in that span of time I've fucked my brother and become a porn star."

Dirk tried not to laugh. "I don't know, man. We're not really brothers. I don't think she'll care."

"OH HO HO! We're brothers! We were raised together and she expects us to be brothers. " Dave laughed nervously as he threw another empty moving box into a bin.

"You know, maybe you should just tell her. I don't think it would be that bad, and besides, you're a grown man. You don't need your mommy anymore."

Dave froze and flashed a pained expression to Dirk. "Yeah but… what if she stops loving me?"

Dirk frowned sighed, the look on his face hurting him more than it should have . "Then you just gotta move on, bro. You've got other people. You've got me, you've got John, and we love you just as much as your moth-"

The doorbell rang.

"Are you almost done with dinner?" Dave asked running to the door.

"Yeah! Almost. About fifteen minutes."

Dave cleared his throat and reached for the door knob.

"David?" His mother said sweetly.

He smiled and gave her a warm and welcoming hug. "Hi, mom!" He sighed into her hair. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a figure coming down the hall. He looked and his stomach jumped into his throat. No… not him. It was Dirk's dad…

"What happened to never getting back together?" he asked his mom lowly.

She sighed. "I thought he may like to see Dirk."

Dave shook her head and avoided greeting him.

"Hey, boy!" He said in a friendly tone. Hah, as if he had the right to be friendly with him. He nodded his head and led them inside.

"Dinner's almost done." He announced, his mood soiled. Dirk looked up when he noticed his tone of voice and nearly dropped his stirring spoon.

"Dad!" he gasped.

He had the same reaction Dave had. He glanced over at Dave as he set the table. He rolled his eyes.

"This is such a nice place, boys! How could you afford it?" His mom gasped as she traveled further in, fascinated.

Oh, god. How was he supposed to answer? It's not like either of them had gone to college and received a degree or anything to get a good paying job.

"Uhh… we saved up a lot and we combined our salaries and… tada! It's pretty cozy, actually."

"Yeah, I'd say. So what are you two doing these days?" She asked, sitting down next to Dirk's dad, who to Dave and Dirk's surprise, scoffed at the question. They exchanged a quick glance to each other.

"Well," Dirk began, setting their plates on the table. "Dave works two part time jobs and I've been doing uhh… little film jobs here and there." There was a smug smile on his face. "What about you guys, huh? You retiring yet?" He joked.

"Still in nursing. Your fathers been doing construction."

Dave asked, "Do you two… keep in touch?"

"When we can." Dirk's father replied. It got quiet for a moment before anything else was said. Suddenly, between the sounds of silverware against plates and small talk between everyone at the small dinner table, Dirk's father shared a story.

"So I was at work out in Plano last week and my gay friend shows me this hilarious video…" he cleared his throat and chuckled. "It was a porn video actually and I was confused at first but then he looks at me and goes, 'hey Richard, isn't that your boy'?"

Dave dropped his fork and his head instantly found its way to his hands. "Oh, fuck. Oh no, no no!" he whimpered.

Dirk leaned back in his chair and crosses his arms.

"And I said, 'no, that couldn't be my son. My sons not a fucking queer'." He snarled. "But sure as fucking day, there was like silly looking birthmark on your hip and then to my surprise there was Dave and in a skirt."

Dave's mother gasped and he began to talk over his step dad to explain. "Mom! Mom, please don't be mad!"

"Your son was always off. I should have known he was some sort of faggot." She hissed to Dave's mother. She was in such shock that she didn't reply right away. She stuttered but was cut off by Dirk.

"You shut up, you son of a bitch." He growled at his father.

"Watch your mouth boy! In fact, why don't you go wash all the cum out of your mouth while you're at it. Hope it's too late for you to catch something from that rat."


Dave ran upstairs crying.

"The shock collar?!" His mother hissed angrily.

"Oh yeah, Dave was always too afraid to tell you, I was a fucking pussy and your husband would end up in jail! So basically, all those years when we were younger and you were at work, Ricky here really got off on torturing Dave. He'd get the shock collar off the dog and have a real good time." He scoffed, standing up so quickly that his chair fell back. He ran upstairs, ignoring the screaming and yelling behind him.

"Dave! Dave!" he yelled, knocking at his door. "Dave, please! Let me in, bro. No one's mad at you! Everything's fine." He said sweetly. He slowly opened the door and found him on the floor by his bed, sobbing into the sheets. He wrapped his arms around him and kissed the back of his neck.

"You hear that?" he whispered in his ear as the sound of a shattered plate was heard from down stairs. "That's your mom fighting for you. If she didn't love you, she would have been standing behind my father." He ran his fingers through his hair and kissed his head. "Dave… look at me. Come on, look at me."

Dave stopped crying and looked up at him with his dark red eyes glistening with tears. Dirk smiled. "I love you, Dave. I love you so much, man. I love you more than each star in the sky and so does your mother. When she's done bringing hell up from below, she's gonna come up here and I'm going to tell her that, and she's going to be happy. Okay? So don't cry, please don't cry, because we're both going to be alright."

Dave nodded, crying harder now, but this time, because he was happy. He collapsed in Dirk's arms, who held him until the door slammed downstairs and the sound of heels clinking up the stairs became louder. Dave rested his head on Dirk's chest and sighed. He was right.

They were going to be just fine.


Chapter Text

"Mutism can be caused by various reasons, in Karkat's case, abuse and trauma." Explained the therapist to Dad and John, who had decided that they would be keeping a close eye on Karkat throughout his recovery. "I think that once he recovers then he will begin to open up to the people he's closest with but don't pressure him. Let him decided when it's time to talk. Until then, buy him a journal and have him start writing things down when he has an anxiety attack or sudden gush of emotions or anything he feels like he should talk about. If anything happens, if you think he's getting worse or better, give me a call."

They both nodded, said bye and thanks, signed out and along with Karkat, got in the car to go back to the dorms. Karkat sat silently next to John in the back seat. John was especially cautious around him and worried constantly about what was safe to do with him. He slowly slid his hand on top of his but he jerked away. John gave him an apologetic look. "Sorry…"

Karkat patted John's knee and laid his head against the window. Dad cleared his throat as they approached a red light. "Karkat, I don't want you worrying about work right now. Of course, we have to get you back in the game but right now just… be pampered… feel better. Okay?"

Karkat nodded but didn't react in any other way. When they got home he went straight up to his new room, Dirk's old room since it was a single room. He curled up on the bed and went to sleep. John sighed and went up to his room where Jake was in the same position under the blankets. John smiled and took off his pants and shirt and did the same, scooting close to him and placing a kiss behind his ear. Jake turned to face him and stretched.

"How's Karkat feeling?" he asked. Everyone was genuinely concerned for him.

"Still feeling shitty. I feel so bad about everything. I wish we would have been there, or at least been closer to the house. Maybe we could have stopped it from going so far."

"Hey," Jake comforted, "none of this is anyone's fault but Gamzee's.

"I hope they get him. "John whispered.

Jake kissed his forehead. "They will."

John laid in his arms until he fell asleep. Jake eased away from him and sat at the edge of the bed running his fingers through his messy hair. He slipped on his glasses and walked into the hall to go downstairs for a bit. There was a rattling sound down the hall. He froze. The only light on was from Karkat's room and it didn't come from there. Curiously, he quietly tip-toed further down, listening carefully until he heard more movement. He pushed the door open quickly and the sound the door made made Karkat, who was standing in the middle of the room, jump.

"Ohh, Karkat! I'm so sorry, man. I thought… I thought you were someone else. I… what are you doing in here, man? It's late. Go to bed."

He watched Karkat snatch up some of Gamzee's shirts and waddle out with his face buried in them. He sighed. He should probably discourage the attachment he had to him but he didn't want to break his heart even more. He let him keep the shirts and then locked the door from the inside on his way out.


Dave felt a little better since his mom had come over. They got a lot of things out of the way and he felt that he could do his job a little better without worrying about what his mother would think. Dave put his usual meeting stuff in his bag and met Dirk in the car. Dad wanted to discuss a number of things in today's meeting. When Dave and Dirk arrived they found that Dad, Jake and John had already settled in.

"Where's everyone else?" Dirk asked, sitting down at the table.

Dad said, "It's just us today boys." He let them get confortable. "Let's get down to it. You're not going to like some of this. With Karkat recovering from the incident and Gamzee no long working here we've got a few extra loads to carry."

"Why are we the only ones here?" John asked, confused by everyone's absence.

"Because," Dad began. "You're the number one most watched boys on the company. People love you. They want more. Of course, Karkat and Gamzee were also in your ranking and people will notice the lack of them. So… I want to reschedule Dave and John's shoot and…" he sighed. "I want Dirk and Jake to do a shoot also."

"Are you fucking shitting me?" Jake said almost instantly. It surprised everyone. Jake isn't usually the whiner.

"Whoa, whoa!" Dirk cut in. "We," he said, waving his finger back and forth between himself and Jake. "we're over. Done."

"I understand, boys. But this isn't anything personal. People have been asking for months for more Dirk and Jake pieces but I haven't brought it up because I wanted you to be comfortable. All I'm asking for is one shoot right now. Just one."

Dirk and Jake stared each other down for a while before they nodded to each other and agreed. Dad was gleeful.

"I have an opening in an hour. I want it done today so you can get it done with. John and Dave…uhhh…" he looked down at his tablet, scrolling through the calendar. "Monday next week, around three in the afternoon I have an opening for a free shoot. Is that good."

"I'm free." Agreed Dave. John simply nodded.

"Alright! We're all set. I need you two in the dressing rooms." Dad said, smiling, pointing to Dirk and Jake. "Thank you for cooperating, boys."

"Mhm." They both groaned, standing and walking out, headed for their separate dressing rooms.

Dave followed Dirk and clung to his arm. "Don't be so down." He encouraged. "Just cum and go! It shouldn't take long." He joked.

"I know." Dirk said simply, and almost sadly. "I really just don't want to face him." He finished finally and surprisingly, emotionlessly.

As they arrived at the dressing room door, Dave stopped and gave him a quick peck. "I'll leave you alone for now so you can clear your head." He patted his shoulder and left him. Dirk went in, took a very brief shower and found Jake sitting at the mirror when he got out. Jake turned and huffed.

"My dressing room was occupied." He justified.

Dirk merely nodded before they turned their backs to each other and begin to change. They slipped on their pants and but as Jake reached for his shirt, he paused and glanced over his shoulder. Karkat and Gamzee had made him think… had he ever been that violent with Dirk? Was that why they never talked? Or was it truly because he was still angry with him for cheating, understandably… He wondered if he had ever been afraid of him, if he ever really, truly hurt him in the way that Karkat was hurt. He turned and spoke.


Dirk didn't answer. He only gave him a glance. Jake continued. "I was never like Gamzee was I?" Dirk's emotionless expression broke at the concern in his voice. "I mean… you fought me back, and that's good, always fight me back but… I never… I never did that did? Because I never meant to do that to you! I swear I-"

"Whoa, whoa! Dude… no. Of course not. What made you think that?"

"There's just times that we would fight and we would hurt each other and I'd make you bleed and you'd make me bleed and then you wouldn't talk to me for days. Like Karkat! He never speaks anymore. I haven't heard him speak since the incident!"

Dirk furrowed his brows. "You aren't like Gamzee. You were never like Gamzee, Jake. Gamzee and Karkats relationship was abusive. We were angry at each other and we hurt each other but we loved each other. You know… at least I loved you."

Jake nodded, sighing deeply. Dirk cautiously grabbed his arm and pulled him closer. "Besides," he continued. "You hit like a little bitch."

Jake smiled. It was almost a compliment. They were called out and they went to their room. Dad instructed them to go slowly, to let their tension melt away. He called the camera roll and Jake walked across the room to Dirk. He pulled him forward but the belt loops of his pants and laid his arms over his shoulders.

"Don't give me that sour look, now." Jake whispered. Dirk glared at him. Jake huffed. "And I thought we could have been friends for a bit. Heh…" he scoffed.

He lifted his chin ever so slightly and kissed him. Dirk seemed to grow flustered and realized that he still couldn't ignore the way Jake would kiss him, run his finger down his arm as his hand came to the small of his back when his mouth trailed down to his neck and pulled him closer. Dirk began to mewl as Jake slightly sucked on his neck. His hands ran up his tank top. Dirk willingly laid back on the bed at Jake's mercy. Jake leaned over him and pulled Dirk's shirt over his head before removing his own. He trailed kisses down his stomach, trailing down lower beside his happy trail. His hands ran hungrily across his skin, but remained slow but eager. His fingers slid beneath the band of his pants and he looked up to Dirk.

"Tell me what you want. Show me." Jake whispered.

Dirk undid the button of his own pants and Jake pulled them off of him, along with his underwear. He plucked Jakes glasses from his face and set them out of harm's way. His fingers entangled themselves with Jakes hair and moved his head to his cock.

"Open your mouth." Dirk said softly. Jake obliged and let Dirk slowly ease his cock down his throat. He held him there until he became red and put his hand on his thigh. Dirk pulled out and Jake gasped, a string of saliva connecting from his lips to Dirk's dick. He pulled his cock to the side gently and took his balls into his mouth, trailing his tongue up the faint line that led to his taint. He pulled Dirk to the edge of the bed and got on his knees. He held his legs over his shoulders and leaned in to eat him out. Dirk jumped as his tongue flicked across his tight hole and over his taint. Jake smiled.

"You always squirm like a girl." Jake laughed.

"Shut up!" Dirk hissed, his voice cracking. They both laughed and Jake found himself forcing reactions from Dirk that he had never gotten before. His ass was always so sensitive. He loved everything from being eaten out, to being spanked and getting fucked. Dirk looked down to see his dick laying across his face, hard and throbbing.


"Shh, I know. I know." Jake stood and quickly flipped Dirk onto his stomach.

Dirk raised his ass into the air and gripped at the sheets with anticipation. Jake slapped his ass as hard as he could and Dirk cried out in pain and in pleasure. The sound of fabric being pulled off of Jakes body with haste made him more excited. Dirk grabbed the lube and passed it back to him. Jake poured some over his hole and began to lather his own cock with it. Dirk rubbed his entrance with his middle finger, slipping it inside himself to try and ease his body's distress. He finally felt the pressure of his cock against his tight entrance and gasped as he slid inside. Dirk reached behind him desperately and the spaces between his fingers were soon filled with Jake's. Jake began to thrust inside of him, Dirk growing louder.

"Ohhh f-fuck!" he whined.

Jake aimed for his sweet spot, searching. "You missed this, didn't you?"

"Oh god, yes." Dirk moaned.

Jake leaned over him, wrapping his arms around him and whispering into his ear. "Ohh, you were always the perfect little slut, Dirk."

Dirk dug his nails into his arm. "Shut up, Jake. For the love of God, just shut up and fuck me."

Jake chuckled and rolled, switching place with Dirk so that the blonde was on top. Dirk turned to face him and Jake grabbed him by the jaw, pulling his face close. Dirk rode, grinding his hips into his, taking every inch that he could inside of it, eyes rolling in pleasure when his cock brushed against his g-spot.

"Look at me." Jake said softly. Dirk refused, his eyes fixed on a single point on Jakes chest as he tried to finish himself off quickly. Jake leaned up and curled an arm around his waist, resting his chin on his chest and looking up to him. "Hey. Look at me. Just for a bit… turn back the clock, as if we're in the past."

Dirks eyes slowly met Jake's and his lips found his. Dirk froze, pausing for a moment before kissing him back. His hands found his face, and his tongue found his. Jake held him tightly and his hand took hold Dirk's cock. Dirk whimpered and Jake pulled back.

Dirk whined. "I'm gonna cum. P-Please!"

Jake pressed his forehead against his chest and slowed his thrusts, positioning his hips just right, remembering just how Dirk liked it. He pushed in deep and Dirk silenced, his mouth hung open but no words escaped. No sound at all. Jake smiled and kissed his collar bones. He slowly sped up, the sounds from each man growing more animalistic. Dirk finally came, spurting his cum across Jakes stomach, riding Jake until he filled his ass and then collapsing on top of him.

The shoot was called and Jake still held tightly to him. They stayed quiet, lying exhausted on top of each other. A worker brought them towels and they went back to their cold and uncaring demeanor. As they turned their backs to each other, they didn't look back.


Chapter Text

Dave had been extremely irritated since Dirk and Jake’s shoot. He told himself over and over again, “Relax – It’s his job. It’s my job too.” Still, seeing the way he reacted to Jakes touch, seeing the way he leaned into the kisses… it bothered him. He liked it. That was a fair assessment. Dave had liked shooting with Jake too, even if he did go too far now and then. He was going to drive himself mad if he didn’t get it out of his head. He rolled and reached for his phone, going through his contacts until he found John’s number.

“Hey, man!” John answered gleefully. Dave smiled.

“Yo! What are you up to today?” he asked.

“I’m off today. Why? You want to do something?” John’s voice was playful and eager.

“Yeah, if you want to. Want to go to the arcade or something?.” Dave asked in the same tone that John gave him.

John answered excitedly. “Dude, yes! Oh my god, I haven’t gone in ages. ”

Dave smiled like a giddy child. “Get ready! I’ll pick you up!”

John hung up the phone instantly. Dave got up and slid on a pair of pants and a shirt. He tied his sneakers tight and grabbed his glasses and wallet before going off to find Dirk, who he found in their game room, clicking away at the four buttons on the console remote. He came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Dirk paused and turned to kiss him.

“What’s up, kid?”

“Going out.” Dave responded, sighing and resting his face in the nook of his neck.

 “Alright. Be careful. Don’t talk to strangers, be home before ten.”

“Yes, daddy.” Dave joked heading for the door. He got in his car and picked John up at the dorms, driving them all the way to the mall and running like children to the arcade. They loaded token cards and began a marathon of gaming that lasted well beyond four hours.

They finished and made their way to the food court. John sat next in front of Dave sipping his drink and picking at his giant pretzel. He looked up at Dave now and then, who never noticed his glances. He finally spoke.

“Hey so… I think we should practice… for the shoot and all.”

Dave paused, food in his mouth. “Practice… as in… have sex?”

“Well… yeah, basically…”

Dave frowned. Practice… why did they need to do that? It hadn’t seemed so harsh coming from his own mouth but it worried him coming from someone else’s. It made him self-conscious. “Do you think that I’ll be… a bad fuck or something?”

“NO! NO! Of course not!” John said defensively, not meaning for his words to translate the way they did. “I don’t think that at all! It’s the opposite… I’m excited, dude. I want to do this with you.”

Dave fiddled his thumbs and grinned. “Oh.” He said simply. John sighed with relief. “I mean… Dirk wouldn’t be mad, right? It’s… work.” Dave mumbled more to himself than John.

John nodded. “Yeah. Work…”

They looked at each other in awkward silence before they found themselves both rushing to the bathroom, tossing half full drinks into the garbage cans on their way. They slipped into the handicap stall when no one was looking and entered some sort of sex hungry frenzy, starting slow, with soft and eager kisses and escalating into a heated make out. John pulled Dave’s shirt over his head, knocking his glasses from his face. Dave cringed and looked away. John grabbed him by the jaw and looked him in the eyes.

“Don’t be a nerd. I know your face. I’ve seen your eyes before.” He whispered. Their lips met again and their bare chests touch. John pulled back just slightly, their noses still touching. His hand slid down his stomach and lingered at the waist band of his boxers with rose above his pants. “Take them off.”

Dave smiled and nodded, undoing the belt buckle and letting them fall off his legs. John got on his knees and began to tease him until he was hard. John looked up to him and kissed the tip. He paid careful attention to Dave’s reactions as he did. He smiled when the muscles of his stomach contracted. “Do you like it when I suck the tip?”

Dave bit his lip and nodded, his head rolled back in pleasure. John took the tip in his mouth and began to swirl his tongue around it. Dave whined and cupped his hand over his mouth so that no one could hear. John fought the urge to smile at the noises he made and how his hips would jerk in pleasure. He made sure that he took every inch down his throat, fighting the gagging sensations. Eventually, Dave could take no more and pulled John up, taking off the boys pants and slamming him against the wall. John wrapped his legs around his waist. He felt Dave’s cock against his hole that was twitching with the desire to be stretched and filled.

“D-Dave!” he whimpered. Dave slowly slid in deeper and deeper, his lips parted and eyes closed as he restrained himself. John cried out loudly and Dave covered his mouth as someone walked in. They fought the desire to giggle and waited until the man left. Dave began to thrust deep thrusts. He pressed his forehead against his and moaned. John put his hands on his shoulders and coached him.

“Go steady! Slow yourself.”

Dave tried to harness his quick and messy thrusts. John continued. “Good… now slow. All the way in, and out.” John closed his eyes and groaned loudly. “Fuck! Yes. Like that…”

Dave carefully followed his instructions, slowing his hips and focusing on his rhythm. “Now harder.” John commanded. Dave obeyed, keeping his thrusts deep and slow, but heavy. John made a funny noise, and Dave snorted. John pleaded, “Oh, god, yes! Harder.”

“Shhh!” Dave hissed with a smile. “We’re in public!”

John only got louder. Dave flushed with embarrassment and slapped his hand over his mouth. “Be quiet, jerk!”

John laughed beneath his hand but then began to release genuine moans. “I-mmhh-” Dave heard him groan, muffled by his hand. He knew what he was going to say.

 “I’m going to cum!” John gasped. “Oh, fuck. Shit!”

His nails dug into Dave’s skin and he tightened around his length, causing Dave to throw his head back in pleasure and release a cry. He knees grew weak and his skin heated as he got closer to climaxing. Dave finally filled his ass with cum, stroking his cock until John came too. Not wanting to spend any more time in the public bathroom they quickly left and went back to the dorms for another round. John was even more enthusiastic this time. He dragged Dave up to his bedroom and pushed him onto the bed, removing both their clothes and then straddling his hips. Dave tried to sit up but John pushed him back down. He smiled.

“I’ll do the work this time. Relax.” He bent down and kissed him, taking his face in his hands. He reached and grabbed the lube and poured some into his hands, lathering up Dave’s cock. Dave rubbed his length against his entrance and slowly pushed inside. John moaned and pushed himself down onto him.

Dave smiled. “Oh, god, John.”

“Is that good?” John whispered, kissing him again. Dave nodded.

Already John was so close to cumming. He wrapped his hand around his cock trying to deny himself  of release. He whined as he rode him, finally giving in and cumming onto Dave’s stomach. Dave gave slow and deep thrusts until he came again. John laid on his stomach, wrapped in Dave’s arms. The atmosphere went from satisfied and drowsy, to tense and guilty.

“I better go.” Dave said. There was a tight feeling in his chest. He sat up. John looked pale with guilt. Dave tried to console him. “It was just… practice – for work.”

John nodded. “Yeah. I’ll see you Monday.”

“Until Monday, then.” They gave each other an awkward hug and Dave left, going back home. They had spent all day together. He couldn’t stop thinking about it in the car as he rode home. When he got home he was surprised to see Jake leaving as he came in.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” He asked suspiciously, knowing that Dirk and Jake were not good enough pals to just drop by each other’s houses.

Jake looked nervous. “I just had to drop something off. Later!” He said quickly. His greeting was brief and not really a greeting at all. He shrugged and smiled upon seeing Dirk sitting on the couch. He looked upset. Dave frowned.

“Hey!” He said sweetly, nudging into Dirk’s neck and sighing. The older smiled.

“Hi.” He took Dave into his lap and kissed his nose. “Have fun today?”

Dave flushed. “Yeah, loads.” His voice broke. He cringed.

Dirk chuckled. “You okay?”

“I must be getting a cold.” He lied.

Dirk leaned in and began kissing his face like his mom would always do. “Oh no!” he said elaborately. “You can’t get a cold! Then I can’t give you kisses.”

“Aw come on, Dirk! Cut it out!” he laughed. Dirk pulled back and patted his head. “You smell weird.” He remarked. Dave’s stomach dropped. Did he smell like sex?

“I better take a shower. Gaming got pretty intense. We were sweating, that’s probably why I smell so weird.” His own thoughts turned against him. “Yeah, we were sweating alright”, they seemed to mock. He scratched his head. “So what was Jake doing here?” he asked.

Dirk’s face dropped. “I had something of his – from when we were dating. He came to pick it up.”

“Oh… why the long face about it?”

Dirk forced a smile. “No reason, kid.”

Dave returned the false comfort nodded. “Okay.” He kissed his temple. “I’m going to shower.”

Dirk nodded and watched him go upstairs before slumping with his head in his hands. In truth, Dirk and Dave had had very similar evenings. Jake had come over, thinking of their shoot. He wanted to “talk”. Talking turned into fighting and fighting turned into kissing and kissing to other obscenities. Dirk had laid next to him for an hour afterwards, more bits of the walls they had built up to defend themselves against each other crumbled away. He traced the still familiar features of his face, guilt pulsing through their veins.  Jake sat up before he left. “Don’t tell John.” He had said with a certain weakness in his voice.

“As long as you don’t tell Dave.”

There was silence. “We shouldn’t have done this. Where does it leave us?” Jake said quickly and nervously.

Dirk thought. Was he going to do the same thing Jake did to him to Dave? Was Jake going to do the same thing to John? He shook his head and although he didn’t want to, he stood, putting on his clothes and spoke. “You’re right. We shouldn’t have. You should leave.”

“Are we not going to talk about this?” He snapped. Dirk didn’t respond. “Dirk! Answer me!”

“NO! No, we’re not. As far as I’m concerned this was a phase. A whim.”

“We’re a phase, now? Is that it?” Jake laughed.

“Yeah!” he hissed. “That is it. You want to know why? Because I can’t do this, Jake.”

“Do what?!” Jake yelled. “Dirk, what do I have to do?”

“Leave. That’d be pretty nice.”

Jake kneeled before him. “Dirk…”

“I’m not going to hurt him. I won’t hurt him. Not how you hurt me.” Dirk was stern, pointing a stiff finger in his direction, shoving him off of him.

“Just forgive me, Dirk… What do you want? You go and fuck me and then kick me out? What’s that about?”

Dirk huffed and grasped at his hair. “I DON’T KNOW! I WASN’T FUCKING THINKING, ALRIGHT?! For now, just go. Leave!”

“Whatever, Dirk. Get your shit together, mate.” Jake raged and left, walking past Dave as he left.

Dirk played it over and over in his head. God, he was stupid. Why did he do that? He wondered and beat himself up about it. He vowed that he was going to be good to Dave. He wasn’t going to hurt him. He wasn’t going to fuck up. He was already off to a bad start, but then again, the bad start actually started long, long ago – when they were teenagers. He remembered being so cruel to him, pushing him around, getting him in trouble just so he wouldn’t have to suffer the consequences. He let him get bullied and even laughed along with the other kids as they slammed him into lockers, called him names… Dirk crossed his arms across his chest and his foot began to tap ravenously. He heard the shower running upstairs and finally he jumped up and ran to the bathroom. He opened the door and quickly stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower behind Dave.

Dave didn’t turn to face him. His arms were wrapped around himself. Dirk knew that they had both done something against each other.

“David.” He turned him to face him. “I’ve been bad.” He said softly.

Dave nodded. “Me too.”

Dirk grinned as a tear rolled down his cheek. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I wasn’t think-”

“Shhh. Shut up. Don’t tell me. It’ll make it worse. We’ll fight.” Dave hugged him and Dirk’s hands went to his face. He kissed his nose and then buried his face in his hair. Dirk nodded and sighed. They stood in the shower, letting the hot water run over their bodies and fill the room with steam. 

Chapter Text

Karkat was… learning to interact again. It was hard though; harder than anyone knew. He was more alert. He paid attention to little things about people now, like their breathing, the position of their hands, how they stood, and their eye contact. He realized everything he didn’t see in Gamzee – all the signs of a violent personality that he had missed. However, he didn’t need subtle signs of agression to know he was violent. He was constantly reminded. Counseling helped him come to his senses and fully understand the situation. While he hadn’t come to accept that Gamzee had meant to hurt him or could have killed him, he knew what he did was wrong, no matter the circumstances. He couldn’t help it though – missing him. He missed him so much. He missed his slurred words, drowsily whispering sweet nothings in his ear late at night when he was high. He missed the small fights they had, that ended in soft kisses and kind words, which was rare, but it did happen.

John had been trying his hardest to prevent his thoughts of Gamzee, but it proved to be a task. What do the mute do rather than speak? They think, and they think of everything. They think of the past and the future, they wonder why the sky is blue and why birds sing and they think of things far and in-between. There wasn’t much John could do for him except lie next to him every night like he had since the incident and talk to him. He wouldn’t talk back, but he would listen. Besides signing advice with his hands, or scribbling a messy response on paper, all he could do was listen. It helped him to listen to other peoples stories and problems because it made him thankful that they weren’t his own and made him feel like things actually could be worse. John was glad he was finally coming out again but he felt like Karkat truly would never speak again. That was okay. He didn’t think he was less of a person for not speaking. If he had been through what he had been through, he’d be content in silence too.

John fiddled with the coffee machine until he gave a great hiss and spat a liquid that wasn’t quite coffee and definitely not water. He jumped and unplugged it before sighing and turning to Karkat who did the same.

“Look’s like she finally gave out.” He mumbled, more so to himself. He looked up to Karkat. “We’ll get a new one the next time we go out. I don’t feel like going out.”

John never felt like doing anything anymore. Karkat noticed. Are you okay? He signed.

John nodded. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

He knew he was lying John sighed. “Last week I went out with Dave to the mall and we ended up… making mistakes. I mean, I don’t regret it! But… I shouldn’t have done it.”

Karkat nodded. Does Jake know?

“Of course not. I couldn’t tell him. He was being weird when I got home so I brushed it off. It’ll be okay, though. I won’t do it again.”

Karkat wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt but he didn’t trust that. He knew that John cared about Jake very much but he also knew that he wouldn’t pass up a good fuck. He was, for lack of a better word, a giant fucking slut. It wasn’t anything to be ashamed of, but it did get him in trouble.

John gave a weak smile and patted Karkat’s shoulder before he went upstairs. Jake caught him in the hall and stopped him.

“Hey! Do you want to go out tonight? Bring Karkat, get him out and about?” Jake asked.

John nodded. “Yeah. We need to get a new coffee machine anyways. What’d you have in mind?”

Jake sighed. “I don’t know. Bar, park, arcade…”

John’s stomach dropped. He knew. Fuck, he knew. But what if he didn’t? John quickly changed his expression. It was probably a coincidence, hereassured himself.

“Arcade?” John poked. “Uhh, it gets pretty hot in the arcade. We should go somewhere with open air.” He commented trying to put off all his possibly suspicions.

“Oppeenn aiirr… Uhm… Think on it and get back to me later.” Jake ruffled his hair and went downstairs.

John sighed. Think on it… that was a good idea. It would take his mind off of everything. He sighed and took out this phone to begin his search.


Dave grumbled as he rolled over into Dirk’s side. Dirk grunted as Dave pressed against his ribs.

“Bro… move…” he whined sleepily. Dave only snuggled closer to him. “You’re hurting me.” Dave groaned some more and rolled completely on top of him. Dirk huffed. “You know there’s two bedrooms for a reason, pal.”

“Too cold. Too lazy to move.” Dave whispered simply. Dirk shoved him off and rolled over onto his side. He gave Dave a nasty look and then giggled. Dave smiled and kissed him.

“Good morning.”

Dirk wrapped his arms around him and returned the kiss. “What do you want for breakfast?”

Dave yawned. “I’m not hungry right now.”

“You will be later. Eggs? Toast?”

“And bacon.” Dave added.

“Orange juice?”

Dave gasped and snorted. “Orange juice? I’m offended Dirk, I thought you knew me better. I thought we were cool!”

Dirk sighed. “Apple juice, I know, man.”

“I’m glad we have this deep connection.” Dave joked. Dirk sat up and pulled Dave into his lap, brushing his hair out of his face.

Dave grinned and kissed his stomach.

“I’m going to go start breakfast. Get dressed. We’ve got things to do today.”

Dave whined as he stretched across the bed and then continued to lay there until the smell of bacon came from downstairs and Dave swore he heard the sizzling of eggs along with it. His stomach growled and he began to rush to dress. Dirk leaned against the counter and sighed. He was thinking of Jake. He wouldn’t stop thinking of Jake. He couldn’t. He flipped the eggs and turned the fire down ever so slightly. He had watched their previous shoot over and over again on his phone and couldn’t help but to think about their past and even more recently of the words he had said to him so desperately during the shoot. The sound of Dave stomping down the stairs. He poured him a glass of apple juice and fixed their plates. As they sat down, Dirk’s phone rang again. He huffed and answered. It was Jake.

“What do you want?”

“Are you busy?” He asked. His voice was stern. He knew he wasn’t up for casual chatting.

“What’s up?”

“Karkat’s freaking out. Dad mentioned replacing Gamzee and he started panicking. I think you should come earlier and bring Dave so he can talk to him. John and Dave know him best.”

Dirk nodded. “Yeah, alright. We’ll be there in the hour. Bye.”

“By- oh, and Dir-” Dirk hung up on him.

“Kat’s fucked up again.” He announced.

“What!? Is he okay?”

“Don’t think so. He freaked out about replacing Gamzee and they’re having trouble.”

Dave sighed and nodded. “Yeah, I don’t think he likes the idea of being with anyone else. Uhh… we should probably hurry.” Dave got up and dumped his plate into a zip lock bag and grabbed a plastic fork before chugging his juice. “Come on, man, hurry up!”

Dirk huffed and shoved everything in his mouth before grabbing the keys and heading off.

~ o0o ~

“Karkat, come on! We talked about this!” John said as he grabbed Karkat and hugged him. Karkat shoved him away and fell against the wall. He began to sign furiously.

NO! No, I can’t. He’ll be mad at me, John! I can’t replace him!

John sighed. “Listen to me, Karkat! He can’t hurt you anymore! You don’t have to do everything so cautiously with him in mind.”

Karkat wouldn’t be reasoned with. Jake stood at the door, watching, unsure of how to help. “I know it’s hard but if you want to stay on the company you have to choose someone else! They’re all nicer guys than Gamzee, they’ll treat you better, you’ll have more fun with th-”

“I SAID NO.” Karkat yelled, taking them both by surprise. He began to cough, his vocal chords not prepared for such a work out so suddenly.

John realized they were stressing him out so he backed off, sending Jake out and taking Karkat in his arms again. “You don’t have to speak if you don’t want to. We understand. We just want you to get better. We want you to be happy again. Please understand.”

He felt Karkat grasp at the back of his shirt and hold him tighter. Dave walked in, alarmed after hearing Karkat’s outburst. He sighed when he saw him. He looked so tired and upset. “Dude…” he whispered, joining the hug. Dirk and Jake stood downstairs in silence.

Jake finally spoke. “Hopefully Dave can talk some sense into him. Dad is understanding and we love him but… he’s still our boss. We’ve got supply and demand going on. We have to provide.”

Dirk didn’t say anything. Jake shifted uncomfortably. “Dirk… I think we both know that we’re really mixed up right now, and this is messing me up, man. Talk to me! We can’t keep doing this an-”

“No, I agree. We can’t keep doing this.” Dirk interjected.

Jake hissed. “Listen to me! I’m not finished! We can’t keep doing this and then ignoring each other.”

“Oh, bummer. I guess we’ll just not do it again. That seems like a great solution to me.”

Jake wanted to hit him. He wanted to hit him so hard and maybe then he’d shut up. He balled his hand into a fist and closed his eyes to cool down for a sec. “Dirk Strider, I hereby, cordially ask that you shut your god damn mouth for one fucking minute so that I can talk to you like a person for once.” Jake got his attention. “Stop it… stop pretending like you don’t miss me and I’ll-“

“See!? This is why I can’t talk to you! How bold of you, Jake. What an arrogant clai-”

“OH MY GOD, DIRK, SHUT UP! Christ, I can’t even sugar coat things with you. Here’s the point; I miss you, also, please stop ignoring me because I want to try again. With you. I’m not expecting a sudden answer but please think about it.”

Dirk sat in horrified silence giving Jake such a mixed expression that he wasn’t sure if he were going to beat him to death or kiss him, though at this point, either action would provide him with an equal amount of release. Jake nodded and stood to go back up stairs.

“Jake, wait…”

Jake turned, trying to contain himself.

“I’ve thought about it…” Dirk said, standing and going to his side. He stuttered and his eye lids fluttered nervously. “and…”

Jake grinned ever so slightly and took the blondes face in his hands, brushing a thumb over his lips and pressing his forehead to his. “Please say it…” he whispered more to himself.

Dirk continued. “Ever since then I’ve wanted to say…” his lips neared Jakes. “Your free trial has expired.”

Jake paused. “You dick.”

“Sorry.” Dirk laughed. He shoved him aside and called upstairs. “Yo, Dave!”

Dave peaked down stairs. “Yeah?”

“I’m heading to the office. I want to talk to Dad.”

“Yeah! Alright, I’ll ride up there later.” He ran down stairs and wrapped his arms around him and place a sweet kiss on his lips.

Jake stood frozen, with the most malicious glare on his face, directed this time at Dave. Dirk looked up at him and grinned. “Later, babes.”

Dirk ruffled Dave’s hair and pulled his keys from his pocket. Jake was angry. Rejection he could handle, but this was nearly an act of war. He inhaled deeply before following Dave back upstairs and stopping him before asking a small question that would be the beginning of plan that was quite cruel.

“Dave!” he called out. “Would you mind doing another shoot with me?”


Chapter Text

Gamzee woke up in a cell. He sat up and found his wrists and ankles to be cuffed. He didn’t remember being caught. He vaguely remembered what he did. There were footsteps outside of his cell. An officer came and opened the door. He recognized him. It was the same one who he had had so many confrontations with in high school. The man opened the cell and motioned for him.

“Come on, Gamzee.”

Gamzee sat in shock, looking around the room. He had been caught but… how? What did he do? He stood and waddled to the door.

Officer Barnes had mentored him and kept him out of trouble for a while, checked on him when he was under house arrest and helped keep him out of jail and off the streets. Maybe they weren’t friends, but Gamzee trusted him more than he trusted most cops. Officer Barnes was disappointed in him and he could tell. It was all over his face. But it wasn’t the sort of disappointed stare he got from him being caught with drugs, or having little scuffles with people in parking lots or stealing things from people’s yards. He had done something bad. Really bad.

“Just come clean in there, boy. Make it easier.”

Gamzee shook his head, his thoughts still fuzzy from sleep and drugs.  “I-I didn’t fuckin’… do anything… not this time.”

“Gam, you did. You’re in big trouble.”

Gamzee continued to argue. “I didn’t do anything.” He slurred as he stumbled. “Stop.” He said, pausing suddenly in the hall. Officer Barnes continued to walk, dragging him behind. “STOP IT!”

“Gamzee! Keep walking.”

Gamzee leaned backwards. “Stop it! Where the fuck are we going? W-Where are... you taking me? Stop!”

Officer Barnes jerked him forward into the wall and too him off guard. “GAMZEE. Stop it. Go in there and talk to those judges and take your sentence like a man.”

Gamzee snapped out of it. “My sentence?” Officer Barnes frowned and shook his head to himself. “I didn’t do anything, I swear! I fuckin’ swear, please!”

The officer began to ignore him. He opened the door to the small court room where three judges sat at a table, waiting for him. There was no one else in the room. His legs shaking, he took his first steps towards them. Officer Barnes sat him down with a glass of water. He waited for the judges to speak. The two women were looking over his records; arrest records, school records, hospital records. The male judge sat flabbergasted as he looked over the files Karkat’s lawyer and doctor put together. When Gamzee took a good look at the judge, he was also familiar. He had given him sentences before. The judge smacked the files down onto the table.

“Look at that.” The judge said angrily. Gamzee was cautious. He flipped the manila folder open and began to read the report.

“Victim was found at shared home by roommates on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. Victim has been viciously beaten, appears to have been pushed down the stairs. Victim was hesitant to talk to authorities and after giving police and doctors the whole story, refused to speak. Victim was in a very emotional state, possibly afraid of being hurt by attacker, his boyfriend, for speaking out. His friends convinced him to sign to press charges. He was treated and cared for a memorial hospital for a week before discharge and is now seeking counseling…

Gamzee furrowed his brows and found a series of photographs. He froze, becoming as still as a windless plain. He felt sick.

“Is this how you treat the ones you love? The ones who love you!?” The judge asked.

“No…” he finally whined. “I’ve hit him but I would never, fuckin’ NEVER do that to him. THIS WASN’T ME!” he cried.

“It was your finger prints they found, they found your DNA under his nails, he said it was you, they all knew it was you.”

“FUCK, I WOULD NEVER DO THAT. YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME, I-I…” Gamzee stood up and knocked the chair backwards. In his heart he knew he did. He knew it. He finally went too far. He began to cry and scream and went through many phases of anger, and then sadness and regret and fear.

“All the evidence is against you. Unless you have significant proof in your favor, it’s best not to deny the charges at hand. Gamzee, I’m familiar with you and your past cases and you’ve never been like this. What happened?

Gamzee sat down and calmed himself. He took deep breathes, taking in his surroundings. There were three people in front of him that could lock him in a cage for the rest of his life. He had to fight himself; his violent personality, his impulses and vulgar thoughts. He took his seat and took a final breath.

“A while ago, I started this drug called spoor. It made me… better…. But it also made me forget. It made me forget the awful things I did when I came down from the high. I did all sorts of things to him… things I NEVER fuckin’ meant. I’ve tried to… force myself on him… I’ve beat him… I’ve said horrible things to him and he never fought me back. But I never meant to hurt him, I never wanted to hurt Karkat, especially to this extent.”

Tears rolled down Gamzee’s face and he put his head down on his arms. “I kept doing Sopor because when I was high I was good. I wasn’t a monster. That’s all I ever wanted; to be a good person. But the repercussions were more what I imagined. I fucked up.”

Hearing this, they realized that they had seen this case a thousand times before. Gamzee was a drug addict, but maybe, possibly, not a bad person. They changed their original sentence, sending him out for nearly two hours before they called him back in to present their plan to him.

“Three to four years, depending on how well you do. Probation is a possibly but only after you go through at least two years of your punishment. During so, you’ll be seeing a psychiatrist and counsellor, every week and then less frequently as you progress. You will be doing community service and getting introduced into slight social situations and learning how to cope with them. You will go to a weekly support group for drug addicts. During this time we encourage you to keep journals; Log your progress, write about your day or write letters. We hope that through our efforts, you can make a full recovery from your long addictions, rebuild your life and then, when you are ready, help heal those who you’ve hurt.”

Gamzee was grateful and stunned. He grinned. “Thank you so much.” He whispered. They finalized everything before Gamzee was taken into a room, and given his inmates uniform. He changed and was escorted into his cell. It was small, and empty. A metal bunk bed with a thin mattress, a pillow and cotton sheet. There was a small desk. He rummaged through the doors and found a few pencils, a sharpener and a notebook. He thought back to the judge’s suggestion to keep a journal. He pulled back the cover and sat down, staring at the blank first page for about an hour, contemplating his next move until he got the courage.

Dear Karkat, he scribbled across the first page. He filled each line with apology and explanation, saying that he would get better, and come back to fix things. He decided that he would fill the journal up and then send it to him. He signed the bottom of each page asking for forgiveness.

Chapter Text

    Karkat showed little interest in the boys that came up to him. Dave came in to check on him. “How’s it going, man? Do you like any of them?” He asked, giving him a fresh water bottle. He put his arm around him and rubbed his shoulder.

“No.” Karkat said quietly, leaning his head against Dave’s side. “I want to go home.”

“Yeah, I know dude. But hey,” he whispered. “Just pick the prettiest one. You don’t have to like him.”

“Yeah I do.” Karkat grumbled, rolling his eyes. “I’ve got to fuck them.”

Dave laughed and ruffled his hair. “Sorry, buddy. I’ll come check in on you again okay? The second round is coming. Let me know if you need anything, ‘kay?”

   Kat nodded, and as Dave turned to walk away a familiar face walked through the door. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he had definitely seen this guy before. He wore dual colored lenses in his glasses. The guy looked to Karkat and gave him the same look. He slightly grinned and sat in front of him. Karkat’s cheeks flushed. He was actually pretty okay looking he guessed, but what was with those dumb glasses. What was with everyone and dumb glasses? Dirk, Dave, now this guy! Pfft…

“Have I seen you around?” The guy asked, settling in.

Karkat fought hard to remember his face. “I think so, but I don’t know where we may have met.”

“Yeah, same here. Uhh, where you from?”

“Florida. About five miles out of Miami.”

The boy snapped his fingers upon uncovering more memories. “Yeah, yeah! Uhh… Karkat! Right?”

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“I worked at that Perry’s Pizza and Fun place. Hah, ha.” He laughed nervously.

“OH! It’s you! Yeah, I remember you! My friends would always take me there on my birthday as a joke and we’d run around like six year olds - but most of the time we ended up there every other week end.” Karkat laughed at the memory. “What was your name again?”

“My name is Sollux. I remember you guys coming in and fighting children over ice hockey.”

They both laughed. They talked over about where they had ended up over the years and what had brought them here. After catching up, Sollux explained his situation. “I’m paying through college.” He said. “But I wanted to be able to kick back too.”

“Oh,” warned Karkat. “It’s not all relaxation and seduction, trust me. You can’t come in with the wrong ideas. But, once you find someone you really like,” he explained, “you chose them, and you discuss your boundaries and such and you make an agreement to be primary partners for films. We do this because it’s a lot safer health wise, and because you get to know that person and you grow to trust them, which is really, really important in this industry. THEN, that’s when things get really fun and ‘easy’.”

Sollux thought carefully before speaking. He grinned. “So… if I choose you…”

Karkat froze. He had a feeling he would choose him, I mean, why not chose someone you at least slightly familiar with? He had to ask himself (and in turn, be honest with himself) if he were ready to let go of his fears and bad thoughts to give another person a chance. Eventually, he would have to talk about things. Eventually, he would have to think about the past. But until then…

 ~ o0o ~

Dirk was always a very jealous person and that had not changed over the years. In fact, many thought the word ‘possessive’, and ‘obsessive’ fit him much better than simply ‘jealous’. Jake took advantage of that. He knew Dirk well and he knew what would drive him mad. He had so many plans, so many ideas and one objective. It was cruel, and the better portion of them warned him about these ideas but just as Dirk was envious, Jake was spiteful. In reality his ideas did not make sense. Any sane man wouldn’t think that the best way to win an old lover over was to take what he loved in present tense. In Jake’s mind, it was brilliant.

Jake had booked Dave for another shoot. Dirk wasn’t happy at all and let his discontent be known. Dirk had gotten coffee for himself and Dave before Jake’s shoot with Dave. He balanced the coffees in one hand as he went up the stairs. He had woken up late, and told Dave he would meet him at work in time for his shoot with Jake. He didn’t find Dave in his dressing room, which is where he usually hung out before shooting. He put the coffee down on the table and stepped back out to find him. John walked past and he grabbed his attention.

“Hey man, have you seen Dave?” He asked curiously.

“Uh, yeah. Check the break room or Jake’s dressing room.”

“Thanks.” Dirk grumbled, knowing that Jake had more than likely lured him into his dressing room. He checked. The door was open. Dave was leaned against the counter, and Jake stood in front of him. He held something. He could hear them talking.

“See. I’ll keep it low. It won’t hurt at all.” Jake said softly. Dave shook his head. Jake smiled and pulled him closer. “Here just touch it!” he enthused. “It won’t hurt, I promise.” Dave looked to him unsure, but finally reached a finger out. He pressed his finger to what looked like a cock ring. Jake turned it on the lowest setting and pressed a button. Dave gasped and jerked his hand back. “See? Did that hurt you?”

“No.” Dave giggled. “It just took me by surprise.”

Jake nodded. “Do you want to use it today?”

“That’s cool, yeah.” Dave gave in.

“Yeah? I’ve also got these, but they’re a little stron-”

Dirk came in. Jake’s kind smile was wiped away instantly. “I got you some coffee.” He said to Dave, kissing his forehead and pulling him into his chest. “It’s in your dressing room.”

Dave took that as his cue to leave the room. He tugged on Dirk’s arm but Dirk didn’t budge. Dave went to his dressing room and left them to bicker. As soon as he left, Dirk grabbed the device from Jake’s hand and tossed it onto the table.


“Don’t pressure him into things he doesn’t want to do.” Dirk scolded.

“I didn’t force him into doing anything.” Jake defended in turn. “All I did was encourage him to face his fears.” He wore a sly and challenging smile.

Dirk shook his head. “Whatever! If he says no the first time, that’s your answer. Keep your distance.” He said, jabbing his finger into Jake’s chest.

 Jake stumbled back a bit and snarled. He tried to avoid conflict and left the room. Dirk did the same, going to Dave’s dressing room instead. Dave had changed and was ready to film. Dirk came in and wrapped his arms around him from behind. “Don’t let him use that thing if you don’t want to.” He whispered to him.

Dave slightly blushed. “It’s fine.  I can do it.”

“I know that you can.” Dirk assured him. “But do you want to?”

Dave huffed like a irritated teenaged girl. “Yes.” He said trying to get off the subject. “Thanks for the coffee, by the way. I didn’t get much sleep last night – I was restless.”

“Hopefully it will wake you up!” said Jake from the door. “Shoot’s in five.” He winked at Dirk who rolled his eyes in response. “Also, we may be a bit longer. I wanted to try a few requests.”

Dave nodded, completely oblivious. “That’s fine.”

Dirk had a weird feeling about their shoot. Jake had been acting stranger and more obnoxious than usual. He was up to something, and not knowing what he was doing twisted Dirk’s stomach into knots. Dave gave him a smooch before he left the room and told him to relax. He sat down and turned the little TV on to watch them…

 The room was dark when Dave walked in. He didn’t know what to expect, but he had a few ideas considering their last shoot. He couldn’t see anything but he felt eyes on him from every corner. He grinned. “Where are you?”

“Here.” Said a voice from behind him.

Dave turned but there was no one there. He reached out into the darkness and got a handful of nothing. He could vaguely see a shadow moving about the room. He reached out for it again and missed. Hands came from behind and wrapped around him. “Got you.” They said. He didn’t recognize their voice. He panicked and squirmed away, stumbling backwards. There was a chuckle from behind him and then more laughter from all around.

  The lights flicked on with a little click. Jake sat on a throne-like chair and around the room there were other men. He knew their faces, he had talked to one or two of them, but he didn’t know them. He felt incredibly small compared to them. Jake lifted Dave’s chin as hands wrapped around his throat; not choking him, just touching, implying that they had the opportunity to, and that they could, but not today.

“Strider…” Jake said sweetly.                                                                                                                                                    

Dave felt like he were in trouble and somehow it was exciting. He kneeled at Jake’s feet in front of the throne. Jake laughed. Everyone else laughed too. Dave blushed.

“Good! You’re a good boy, right?”

Dave nodded. Jake pressed a switch against his cheek. “Yes sir.” Dave corrected himself.

“Hmm…” Jake sighed thoughtfully and then hit him across the face anyway. Dave’s mouth fell open in shock and his hand went to his face to ease the burn. “Show them what a good boy you are.” The smile on Jake’s face when he spoke was contagious.

“Yes sir.” Dave giggled with a grin on his face. He stood and crawled into Jake’s lap, placing his hands on his shoulders and placing his knees on either side of him. He pressed his lips to his and began to grind his body into Jake’s. As he pulled away, Jake ever so slightly bit his lip. Dave let out a small gasp. Jake’s hands slid down his body and grabbed desperately at him.  

Dirk watched the screen quietly while noticeably shaking. John walked in and observed him silently. Dirk knew he was there but didn’t speak. John patted his shoulder gently. Dirk looked over and then huffed.

“I cannot stand it.” Dirk laughed to ease the quiet tension in the room. “God, I can’t stand it.”

“This? Jake and Dave?” John asked quietly.

Dirk nodded. “He’s a pig, John. He’s such a fucking pig and every time he touches Dave I feel like he gets his greasy pig fat all over him.” Dirk cringed at the thought.

John snorted. “Jake isn’t that bad! I mean… we’re kind of together so I’m biased, obviously, but…”

Dirk cut him off.  “I’ve never hated someone so much. Everything he does pisses me off.”

“And you make it known to everyone.” John said, his tone slightly irritated. “Look, I get that you and Jake didn’t exactly break up in good terms but not everything he does is to irritate you. I think you should kind of learn a lesson from how you two ended.”

Dirk squinted at him. “And what’s that?”

John flushed. “Well… you’re really over protective of Dave.”

“I am n-”

“You’re going to smother him like you smothered Jake.” The words had come out of John’s mouth before he had thought it through. He was immediately sorry. Dirk scoffed and looked away from him. John hung his head in quiet shame and then suddenly turned the small TV off.

“What are you doing?” Dirk hissed.

“You don’t need to watch that. He’s fine.” John reassured him.

“He’s fine right now. I don’t trust Jake. I especially don’t trust Jake and twenty of his friends.”

John rolled his eyes. “There’s nowhere near twenty of them. You’ve done worse.”

Dirk rolled his eyes and turned the TV back on to see Dave on his back surrounded by the boys. Jake had his cock down his throat. There was a man thrusting inside of him, earning a little grunt each time he slammed into him. Dave eyes were watering. He grasped at Jake’s hip and he pulled back, a string of saliva connecting them. Jake was intimate; brushing his fingers across his cheek, whispering sweet nothings to him, kissing him softly. Time seemed to slow around them. Dave smiled up at him. Their fingers intertwined. It was much, much more intimate than Dirk would have liked.

Dave whispered up to him. “I want it in my throat again, sir.”


“In my mouth, please, sir.” Dave begged. 

Jake grinned. “Here?” He smeared the tip of his cock over his lips, beckoning them to open.

“Uh huh.” Dave felt the man between his legs pull out of him and another one shove inside. He moaned.  Jake snorted and grinned.

John and Dirk still argued. John had switched the TV off once more and tried to convince Dirk that he was overreacting. Dirk insisted that he watch to make sure that everything went alright but John knew it went deeper than that; much deeper than he could ever penetrate. John tried to be understanding of his panic. He tried to patiently shush Dirk and pat his shoulder until he settled down on his own time. However, Dirk would have none of it.

“WHY DOES THIS CONCERN YOU SO MUCH!?” He snapped at John, huffing angrily.

“It concerns me because the extent of your neediness is troubling.” John said, putting all gentleness aside. “I see your fear, Dirk. You’re afraid of Jake. You’re scared that he’ll take Dave from you or that Dave will see something in him that you don’t have – something he needs. You’re pacing, sweating, shaking and all because their doing their jobs. You shouldn’t assume that this goes any further than that. Your mistrust in Jake is understandable, but what has Dave done that worries you with thoughts of his betrayal?”

Dirk stood stunned and speechless. John had said nothing that he hadn’t already known, but the way he was able to pick these things from him and put them under a microscope to see the tiny whys and whats took him by surprise.

John nodded to himself.  “Have some faith Dirk. You need some faith. Otherwise, your relationship won’t last in this industry.”

After a moment of silence shared between them their eyes met and Dirk nodded rather than verbally expressing his thanks. John returned the gesture and left the room. Dirk glanced over at the screen once more saw Dave on his knees riding Jake and giving out hand jobs like water at a marathon. He quickly switched off the TV and sat back in his chair.



Chapter Text

 Dirk remained irritated for days about Jake and Dave’s shoot but tried his hardest to take his and John’s conversation to heart. “Faith and space” he would remind himself. It was the key to a long lasting relationship. Dave had noticed Dirk’s distance but hadn’t said much. He supposed it was because he was angry about the shoot and Dave thought that Dirk pouting was better than him bitching. John had given Jake an earful after their shoot, telling him that he shouldn’t purposely antagonize Dirk like that. Jake denied the accusations but was satisfied that he got such a reaction out of him. The very thought was enough to keep him at it. He wanted to call him and tell him how good his brother was, and how he thought he was better than him. He held back only to save it for another day.

“Why are you such a dick to him? I’m sure it’s not a good enough reason to drag Dave into your stupid pissing contest.”

“It’s not a pissing contest.” Jake snorted, avoiding his initial question. John didn’t let it slide.

“What is it then? What’s your problem?”

“I don’t have a problem!”

“Most people who have a problem deny that they have a problem. There’s a statistic, you know.”

“Oh my god, John! Just leave it alone!” Jake growled. “It doesn’t concern you.”

There was something about the way that he spoke to him that hit John in the wrong spot. He frowned and shook his head. “Fine. Never mind.” He left their room and trotted down the hall to see what Karkat was up to. He heard him talking quietly. He recognized his voice because he had been so eager to hear it since he went into silence. He smiled and knocked at his door. There was a pause and then the soft sound of feet on carpet. The door cracked open and Karkat peaked out from his room with his cellphone to his ear.

“I’ll call you back, okay? Talk to you later.” He hung up. Karkat looked to John expectantly, waiting for him to tell him what he wanted. John caught on.

“You’re talking again!” He said. John’s eyes practically sparkled with excitement.

Karkat flushed and then nodded. “Yeah, I guess.”

John shoved past the door and picked him up into a big hug. “Are you feeling better?”

Karkat grumpily wiggled out of his arms. “I’m fine.”

John didn’t give up so easily. “What about the guy you picked out! What’s he like? You guys got along pretty fast.”

“I know him.” Karkat said simply.

“Huh.” John said. “Well isn’t that a coincidence. Are you… happy with him?”

Karkat shrugged. “Yeah it’s just… different not being with… you know.”

John nodded. “Yeah. Well, you guys will warm up to each other and I think you’ll be happier with him than with Gamzee.”

Karkat sort of cringed. “I guess.”

John patted his shoulder and took his leave. Karkat stopped him.

“Hey, John! Have you heard from him?” He asked shyly.

John froze and sighed. “Karkat…”

“I just want to know. Is he okay?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me!” Karkat raised his voice angrily. He regretted it when he saw the look on John’s face.

“Just let him go, Kat. He’s where he needs to be.”

Prison was different than Gamzee’s previous experiences. He had never been in jail for so long. He continued to write letters in his journal to Karkat. It was one of few positive habits he had developed while recovering. The Sopor was leaving his system but it was going out with a fight. His skin, usually sun kissed, was pale and clammy. The bags under his eyes were from long and sleepless nights, spent tossing and turning, talking to himself and getting up to pace about the small cell. He had given himself scars from digging his nails into his skin. He was given special gloves to keep him from harming himself. The blood tests had shown that the worst was almost over and that in another month he would be able to function better.

“I’m going crazy, doc. I can’t take this shit anymore. I need it! Just a tiny bit. Any will help.”

“If you do that, then all of this will be for nothing. If you want to recover, if you want to go back to Karkat and be able to tell him that you’re a better man, you have to do this.” His rehabilitation therapist said to him.

Gamzee writhed in his chair, digging his nails into his thighs. Tears ran form his eyes. “I can’t do this!” He whined, sounding like a child afraid and without a mother to hide behind. “God dammit, I can hear the blood in my body running like a river! I can feel it on the inside of my skin. I’m going mad!

“James,” the woman said, using his legal first name to catch his attention. It was strange hearing it. It had been so long. He had always been Gamzee. He didn’t even remember his parents calling him James. “Think about what you want in the future. Once you get past the next short couple of weeks, you’ll be free from the bonds that this drug has tied you down with. Tell me, what is it that you want?”

Gamzee thought about it – really, really thought about it. “I want…” he cleared his throat. “I wanna go to Karkat and tell him I’m sorry for everything I’ve done all these years to him and to everyone else and I wanna go to college and get a fuckin’ degree or some shit and get a job and then be there for him.”

“Can you do that from a prison cell?”


“So what are you going to have to do?” She asked, encouraging him to think through his actions.

“I have to stick with the program. Behave, recover and convince the council that I’m not so bad… Do you think I’m bad?” His voice was innocent and broken.

“You’re not bad, James. You made bad choices. You regret them and you’re paying for them now and that’s what matters. You want to get better and to be a good man.”

“I want to be a good man.” Gamzee whimpered, furrowing his brow in pain as his head throbbed. He didn’t remember being taken back to his cell, but the next time he was conscious he was sitting at his desk. He didn’t think he had fainted, just lost his ability to respond to things. His notebook full of letters was sitting in from of him. He stared down at the pages and began to write again.

Dear Karkat,

I’m trying really hard.

It was all he had managed to write before he began to become antsy again. He laid down and tried to breathe easy. It proved to be harder than it should have been. His mouth became dry and he felt a rush, an overload of sensations and then nothing. His mind was blank. When he came to, nearly an hour later, he was in the infirmary.

“Gamzee?” A voice said. “Gamzee if you can hear me squeeze my hand.”

He wasn’t sure who was talking or what was going on, but he did as they asked, squeezing their hand lightly.

“Do you know what happened?” Gamzee didn’t answer. “You had a seizure. Has this ever happened before?”

“No.” He croaked. He felt worse than before. He was tired and weak.

“We’ve got you hooked up to an IV and we’re keeping an eye on your vitals. Just rest up, okay? We’re running a few tests and then we’ll get back to you.”

Gamzee nodded. “Yeah.”

   He slipped back into a deep sleep. The doctors keeping an eye on him looked at the results of the tests with great concern. What was left of the Sopor in his systems were attacking certain cells and causing serious problems. Unfortunately, since this was a drug that doctors and even most people were not familiar with, there didn’t know how to help. They did know, however, that Gamzee’s life was on the line. They began to conduct research to learn more about the drug. During their studies, they found that it was common in Chinese and South American drug markets, but didn’t go by the same name. It was a concoction of drugs and when used frequently it attacked the brain, causing memory loss, but when deprived of the drug its attacks on the brain were much worse and could cause massive seizures and other severe problems. It had killed most people who tried to quit. From there, they began to look for something that could slow the drug’s effects and give them enough time to save Gamzee. They could only hope their efforts would not be in vain. Gamzee almost wished that he really would die.

Karkat wondered how Gamzee was doing but he wouldn’t want to know after he found out. He watched Jake and John, and Dirk and Dave and he felt almost jealous. He couldn’t focus on Sollux knowing that he would never be Gamzee. Karkat sat in his room after John left and laid on his bed facing the ceiling and day dreaming projections of his memories onto the white surface. He could almost hear his voice and feel his lips against his skin. He reached out to touch and his hands touched nothing but oxygen molecules that left him with no sensation. This was not the romanticization of an abuser, but the longing for the person he spent long nights with standing under hot water in the shower or under thin sheets doing nothing but taking in how the others skin felt beneath their hands. Those moments were so sweet and so few, but they existed and they were what Kat lived for. Tears ran down his face and he didn’t feel them until the A/C turned on and the cold air blew across the wet trails on his cheeks. He sat up and brought his knees to his chest.

He called Sollux back and pretended he was okay. Sollux could hear the lack of enthusiasm in his voice.

“Are you okay?” He asked after a while.

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m pretty okay.”

“Are you sure?” He asked. “Because you sound pretty fucking bummed.”

Karkat shrugged to himself. “Yeah, I guess.”

After a moment of silence Sollux made a proposal. “How about we go out bowling and you can tell me all about it? I’ll pick you up at eight, we’ll grab some cheesy fries and see how many times we can get the ball in the gutter.”

Karkat smiled. A date sounded nice. It was just the thing to distract him. As discussed, Sollux arrived around eight and they drove to the bowling alley and rented their shoes. As they were putting them on at their isle station, Sollux began to ask questions. “So what’s got you bummed?”

Karkat hesitated. “I’m… just going through stuff.”

“Anything in particular or just… stuff?”

Karkat gave him a gentle smile to thank him for his concern. “Just stuff.”

Sollux patted his shoulder. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” He said, knowing damn well that “stuff” didn’t begin to cover it all. “But when you’re ready, you know how to find me.” Tears welled up in Karkat’s eyes. “Hey now! Don’t be sad!” Sollux grinned and Karkat found it impossible to really be sad with him smiling at him like that. He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. “Everything’s gonna be just fine, Kat. Let’s hit some pins, yeah?”

Karkat nodded. “Yeah.” He said, wiping his tears. “Let’s.”


Chapter Text

At a glace you would say that he was better off dead. Everyone was thinking it. The doctors worked out of a sense of obligation and desire to be paid but it was hard to say whether or not they truly thought he would live. T hey had shaved his head of all his  dark,  matted  lock s . He was a sickly pale color, his skin damp and clammy.  Electrodes covered his scalp and read his brain waves so they could monitor the changes taking place.  Within one week he had had four more seizures. After each one he lost a little more of himself.  By   now,   h e was nearly in an infant state, only able to point to things and say little words. But he was still  Gamzee , still determined just... without purpose. He no longer knew why he scribbled on the pages of the notebook  or why the doctors shined lights into his eyes and drew his blood  or where he was anymore. He sat in the stiff, white bed looking up at the TV screen  that showed him pictures and word s .    

A strange pink shape - heart    

A vaguely familiar face - his doctor    

Bread, meat, and veggies all stacked selectively - a sandw ich    

His   condition progressed, eating away at him, rendering him defenseless.   Gamzee  was going to be a vegetable - thoughtless, motionless, soundless .  He had brief moments of clarity and in such moments he would think to himself, "serves me right ", "I  deserve this", "I nearly killed him ". He gave up on writing to  Karkat . Not because he couldn't remember how to piece together sentences or how to spell or the meaning of words but because what could he say? What could he  ever  say to make things better? He accepted this bitter truth, this rightful fate and laid down to die.  

~ o0o ~  

They ac quired  some  Sopor   in Hong Kong (for a pretty price, of course) and managed to separate it's contents  many of which were found in Meth, Heroin, and lethal kill drugs.  The doctors created three serums to start and scheduled him for trials . They all hoped starting trials would improve his sit u ation .  The first concoction they whipped up in their labs was aimed to increase and/or improve  brain function. Their goals were to repair  (even if temporarily)  the damaged parts of his brain so that he could  at least  speak and comprehend language  

"Serum one," began the doctor as trial one started , " administered via IV, constructed to improve overall brain function, hoping to regain speaking  skills ." H e pumped it into his body and after a moment h e instructed the nurses to begin interacting with  Gamzee , to create situation in which he is required to respond. A  tiny  woman stepped forward.  

"James? Can you hear me? My name is Rose. Can you repeat my name? Gamzee  gave no response. "How are you feeling today? Can you understand me?" Only silence. She looked to the doctor and shook her head with disappointment.  Gamzee  sudden yelped and gripped the bed railing. Everyone jumped  and gave shocked gasps . " Gamzee Gamzee ! "  

"Miss. Rose, please record changes in vitals. Pulse and blood pressure have increased. There are spikes in brain activity also. " The doctor said with an urgent tone.  

"Doctor, is he okay?"  She asked with concern after seeing his reaction to the drug.  

"Would it  really  matter? " he hissed back. "The science behind saving lives is not always moral. Keep the experiment going!" He raised his voice. " We will now increase the dosage of serum one and observe it's effects.  

Gamzee  never stopped yelling. He shook his head violently and mumbled  jibberish  but it was a start. The truth of it was that it hurt. It hurt like hell. His brain was reconstructing itself, rebuilding what years of drug abuse had destroyed.   

" Gamzee , my name is Rose. Do you understand me? Please nod if you do. " He didn't, but his yells became louder . " Gamzee , " she repeated. " M y name is Rose. Please nod if you understand me! " He finally, but very quickly, nodded his head. There were brief cheers in the room. Rose recorded the changes in his vitals before he was given another dosage. The results intensified. T his time he screamed, t ears streamed from  Gamzee's  eyes ,  his back arched off the bed  and  then he begged. He begged with words, with verbal pleas. The doctor stopped and examined him.  

" Gamzee , talk to me. What do you feel? "  He asked.  

Gamzee  took a moment to pull together words.  " W- Wh -What's happen - en - ing ? "  

The doctor explained in the simplest terms he knew how. "Your brain is decaying." He said. "We're trying to fix it. Gamzee  just nodded. His head  hurt  worse than any migraine he had ever had. It made him feel as if he were going to vomit. He felt hands on his body and face. People poked and prodded at him.  He grabbed a nurse by the sleeve and gave them a desperate look before heaving. They scurried to find something for him to throw up in.   

"Give him a moment. " The doctor instructed  as he recovered . "James, we're going to leave for a moment and give you time to get yourself together. I need you to stimulate your brain. Move your limbs, talk, think - do anything at all, alright? Do you understand? "  

Gamzee  nodded and began to whisper to himself and wiggle his fingers and toes. The doctor pulled the nurses out into the hall. "This is looking great so far, everyone. Serum one was successful. We can do a second trial of serum one on Wednesday. Let him rest for now. "  

Nurse Rose, who had cared for  Gamzee  the majority of the time raised her hand politely. "Sir, I'm assuming that this is only a temporary fix? "  

"More than likely. He'll have to use   these counter drugs   regularly  for the rest of his life.  Contact his family and tell them the  progress . "  

Th ere was an awkward silence.  "Actually, he has no living family or distant relatives  willing to claim responsib ility  for him. "  Spoke nurse Rose. The doctor nodded and looked down rather sadly at the unfortunate reality .  

"Any friends? " He asked with an unsure tone.   

"None anymore. "  


Chapter Text

  Dave liked Dirk’s hands. He liked the way they grabbed at his hips and bruised them just slightly when he would pull him onto his length. He loved the way they could silence him or make him whine. He loved how they felt wrapped around his throat or when Dirk used them to hold his hands above his head and Dave loved how often he used his hands against him.

   Dirk was fond of Dave’s lips and how pink they always were, how pretty they looked wrapped around his cock (and specifically his). He liked how soft they felt against his skin when Dave would just barely brush them across his stomach and tease him to the point of no return and Dirk love the way they sort of burned against his neck.

  They both had a tendency to leave remnants of themselves on one another; bites, bruises, scars, whelps and a couple of times, lipstick (and very often, cum). It was one of many things that made the Strider’s so popular – passion. Though they were actors of sorts, there was never any acting involved. Nothing was ever forced; not their moans, their pleas, screams, growls, pleasure or pain. It was a raw blessing not many in the industry had.

   In a few short months, the convention tour would kick off and Dave and Dirk, John and Jake, Karkat and Sollux would travel to Dallas, New York, Las Vegas and Los Angeles on an industry tour representing their company. Dad had told them, “We have three events for each location: a panel, live shoot and interview or fetish session.”

  “Define a fetish session.” Sollux asked, curious by the term.

  Jake explained. “A fetish session is where we perform a set based on a group of fetishes. Voyeurism is big, leather and latex, bondage – those sorts of things but for an audience, in person. Sometimes large groups, sometimes smaller more, exclusive groups.”

  Dirk added, “Sometimes there’s sex involved and sometimes it all just theatrics. Photographers take pictures and film, people get their jollies… you know.”

  Sollux nodded and Dad continued. “I’m hoping we can get Dave and Dirk and Dirk and Jake to do fetish shoots.” Everyone could feel Dirk and Jake cringe. “I want Dave, Kat and Sollux to do at least one interview all together and Dave one solo, a group panel at New York and Vegas and shoots at Dallas and L.A.”

 Everyone nodded in agreement. “I will give you your final schedules two weeks in advance so you have time to prepare.” The meeting concluded with that. Dirk and Dave rode back home, talking eager chitter chatter.

“I’m a lot more excited than I should be.” Dave remarked.

Dirk nodded. “It’s a ton of fun if you like being groped by fat strangers.”

Dave hissed. “Ooh, yeah… downfall. Occupational hazard, I guess.”

Dirk winked to him. “Hey, everyone’s a solid ten when you’re drunk.” They both laughed. There was a brief silence before Dave picked things up again.

“So, what’s with Dad’s insistence on you doing things with Jake?”

Dirk grumbled. “Mostly supply and demand. We’re good together – on screen. People like the… aggression.”

There was no other word except “aggression”. It was the way that they growled at one another, bearing teeth as their hips grinded together in harmony. It was how the sweat dripped from their brows and the curses they would mutter under their breath. They bite to hurt, and they dug their nails into each other like animals. Some people liked that kind of stuff and that’s what made Jake and Dirk so popular.

Dirk didn’t notice just how uncomfortable it made Dave to hear that. He squirmed just slightly in his seat. He wondered sometimes, if their hatred for one another was merely a front to cover up some deep seeded affection that still lingered long after their separation. He thought this because sometimes, when he thought no one was looking, Jake’s eyes would soften when he looked at Dirk. His brow would unfurrow and his lips relax from a firm line… his eyes wander.

But he had no right to be jealous. Not when he had, even just once, cheated with John. He had done them both wrong and he felt bad to say the least. Dirk still didn’t know and he assumed that neither did Jake. John felt… a sort of indifference, Dave thought. Now and again John seemed apologetic but he would always press him for another round. “They won’t ever find out! Dave… David… Davey… I want to.”

“I don’t.” Dave argued with him one night over the phone. “I mean… it’s not that I don’t but I won’t.”

“Why?” John urged.

“Why would you? What if Jake found out, huh? He’d be wrecked and second of all, Jake is a big gu-”

“He wouldn’t.” John interjected.

“Wouldn’t… what?” Dave encouraged him to elaborate on his statement.

“Be wrecked.”

“Of course he would be…” Dave told him. Of course it would hurt Jake if he ever found out… wouldn’t it?

John laughed softly but said nothing more. Dave knew that silence. "You’re keeping secrets."

"I’m not!" John defended.

"John, you are only ever quiet when you’ve got cock in your mouth OR when opening your mouth poses some sort of threat - like when you’re keeping a secret... tell me."

John snorted. "That wouldn’t make it a secret."

"Sure it would - a secret between two... What’s going on between you and Jake?" Dave had noticed their recent distance.

"It isn’t Jake and I you need to be worried about." John murmured.


"Its Dirk and Jake."

Dave had tried his hardest to take the conversation lightly but it was hard when Jake was making heart eyes at Dirk all the time. He took comfort in the fact that Dirk had not returned his glances and hoped that he wouldn’t.


The doctor shined a light into Gamzee’s eyes. “Responsive. Good. Next test.” The man pushed himself, on his chair, backwards to the wall. Words were projected onto the wall. “Read these sentences for me. Take your time and try your best.”

Gamzee read very slowly. “The… dog barked at… the m-mail man.”

“Good. Next.” Praised the doctor.

“Every… day, the dog w-would w-wait for the man to come.”


“On Sundays, the m-mail did n-not run… So the dog did n-not w-wait.”

The nurse and doctor took notes. “Excellent, James. You’ve done excellent. How do you feel?”

Gamzee thought on the question. How did he feel? Well, he was no longer writhing in pain and he could finally function like a person again so, in that aspect, he felt alright. But as his brain repaired and things came back to him, he felt a little worse because now he could remember.

“I’m ok.”

When he spoke, he spoke child-like, in small words and phrases. He pointed to things and made sounds, mostly. But the doctor was right – he had done excellent. He had come so far in the time he had been there. He had been a seemingly hopeless case but thanks to the people who didn’t give up on him, he was making a successful recovery.

“I know this is your least favorite part of the day, but it has to be done.” Said the doctor, rather solemnly. Gamzee knew what came next and cringed. He passively allowed them to strap him down as they prepared the serum. “This time we’ve tripled the dosage. Hang in there!”

He began to panic and whimper – like a wounded animal. Nurses held down his arms as a long needle grew nearer to his eye. “W-W-Wait! I-I-” The needle went past his eye and into his brain. He screamed as the burning started. He clawed the arms of the bed. It had to be done this way – it worked faster and did the most for him when injected directly into the brain. It hurt like hell – it burned and felt like fire eating away at him but then he was okay. He functioned at a peak. The doctors were eager to see how he reacted to a triple dosage of their miracle drug.


After he and John had spoken, Dave’s brain had been too preoccupied to focus on sleep. There was no way in hell he was getting any sleep. He took a deep breath. He trusted Dirk. He trusted Dirk with his emotional well-being. Dirk wouldn’t cheat on him. Was John just imaging things then? Maybe it was a misunderstanding. Either way, he elected to ignore it for the time being. He crawled into bed, next to dirk. It was 3:18 a.m. and Dirk wasn’t asleep either.

“Hey!” Dirk said quietly. “You alright?” He asked.

“Yeah! Yeah, I just…” Dave lied. “Got distracted by this game. I was in a group, it got intense. Couldn’t abandon on the field.”

Dirk nodded and patted the space next to him on the mattress. Dave pulled off his shirt and pants and crawled next to him. Dirk put his arm around him and pulled him close before burying his face in his messy, blonde hair. He sighed. He felt Dave clutch onto his shirt and cling to him. Dirk furrowed his brow. It was uncharacteristic of him to do something like that. He seemed stressed, maybe fearful. He knew the gaming excuse was a lie. Dave was a noisy gamer. He yelled at the monitor or TV and threw things. If he were really in a multiplayer war game before coming to bed, the whole street would have known it.

Dirk assumed he had told him that because he didn’t want to talk about it so he let it slide but something felt plain wrong now. He shook his head and sat up. “You lied.” He said. “Don’t lie to me. What’s the matter?”

“Aw, Dirk…come on, bro.”

Dirk huffed. “No. Tell me.” He demanded. His voice was firm.

“I really don’t want to talk about it right now. I just… I don’t want to deal with it.”

Dirk nodded. “So you’re running from a problem. Why?”

Dave hated when he did this. He absolutely hated it. He was clever, even if he did act like a dumbass most the time. He got Dave to spill the beans on anything. “I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m tired. I want to go to be-”

Dirk got up and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him off the bed. Dave gasped at the sudden force. Dirk sat and grabbed his belt from the knob of the bedside drawer. He pulled Dave over his lap. “W-What are you doing?!” Dave asked panicked. He sat back up and Dirk pulled him close. Despite his actions, his voice was soft and caring.

“I told you not to lie to Daddy, Dave.”

Dave flushed red and looked away. “I…”

“Shh… Don’t open your mouth. You may tell another fib.” Dave nodded with a small grin to let him know that he was down for whatever Dirk was about to attempt.

“Lay across my lap.”

Dave did as he was told. Dirk ran his hand over his ass through his underwear. He groped him and gave him a small smack. Dave jumped, but he felt okay. He stared over his shoulder intently. He watched Dirk as he ran his hands over his body. He readied the belt after he pulled the orange briefs over his ass and Dave gripped his thighs tightly, clenching his body and closing his eyes shut.

The leather strip came down on his skin and made him yelp. “Apologize, baby.” Dirk said to him. Dave was quick to comply.

“Im sorry!”

SMACK! “Sorry…?”

“I’m sorry, Daddy!” Dave gasped.

SMACK! SMACK! “Sorry for what?”

“I’m sorry for lying to you!” SMACK!

Dirk rubbed the tenderness out for him before he started again. “Are you going to do it again? Are you going to lie to me?” SMACK!

No! Fuck! God, no! I won’t!” SMACK!

“I can’t hear you!” Dirk growled in his ear. “I think that’s our problem – communication. I can’t take care of you if don’t speak up!” SMACK!

Dave’s breathing was labored. His ass stung and whelps began to form on his skin. When he reached back to cover himself, Dirk used his free hand to pin both his wrists down. SMACK! “No, sir! I won’t lie to you again, sir!” There was something about being laid over his lap and having him in complete control over his pleasure and pain that gave him a thrill. He was vulnerable but felt close to him. He actually enjoyed being spanked. He liked how it ached, how it bruised.

“Why do you feel you have to lie to me?” Dirk began to rub the soreness away. “Hm, baby?”

“I- Dave began to defend.

Dirk gave a light smack. “Don’t lie to me again…” He kissed his shoulder.

Dave decided he wouldn’t lie, just tell him something short of the truth. “I just feel like we’ve been growing apart… like you’re more interested in… other people than me.” It wasn’t a lie…

Dirk stopped immediately and pulled him up. “What?” He looked hurt. Dave regretted his word choice almost instantly. “Do you really feel that way, Dave?”

“I-I… I just…”

Dirk’s shoulders slumped. “I never meant to make you feel that way. It’s certainly not true…”

“Dirk, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.” Dave straddled his waist and kissed his forehead. “I just meant that-”

“No. Don’t sugar it up, Dave. It’s true. I don’t pay you enough attention.”

Dave pressed his lips to his and sighed. If this alone caused him pain, he’d hate to tell him the whole truth. He tried to distract him with kisses to lighten the mood. It must have worked because minutes later they were back to their selves. Dave pushed Dirk back onto the bed and pulled his boxers over his hips. Dave took his half hardened cock in his hand and began teasing it awake with a hand job. He worked from the base to the tip, not missing a spot. Dirk felt soft vibrations on the bed and reached under his pillow to turn his phone off.

He saw two messages from Jake – pictures. He didn’t open them and forgot about turning off his phone. He simply tossed it onto the floor into a pile of clothes. Dave’s tongue ran up the length of his cock and Dirk jumped. Dave’s mouth always sent him into paradisiacal bliss. He let Dave take control as he blew him. He moaned under his breath.

“Aw, fuck. Fuck… like that, baby. Ohhh…”

Dave took him as far down his throat as he could without gagging himself. He pulled back with a gasp and put kisses on his pelvic bone. Dirk rubbed his thumb across his cheek lovingly. Dave’s cheeks were light pink, his eye half lidded as he looked up at him. Dirk felt his heart swell a little – he liked him like this. He pulled him up and wrapped his arm around him before kissing him, holding his head in his hands.

“I’m sorry…” Dirk apologized again. He smoothed back his hair. “I-”

“Shh…” Dave comforted before pressing his lips to his once more. “Don’t worry about it.”

“How can I ignore it, David?” Dirk whispered, regret in his voice.

Dave shook his head, wearing a gentle smile, and positioned himself just right. He lowered himself, Dirk’s cock in hand, and pressed his length against his hole. “You can start by fucking me.” They exchanged devious grins before Dave gave him another quick smooch before he braced himself. He gasped when Dirk took him by surprise and pushed himself all the way inside of him in once thrust.

“You’re a scandal.” Dirk told him as Dave began to ride him. “An absolu-OH!

“Shush, Dirk.”

He rolled his hips as he moved up and down, making sure to take every inch of Dirk inside of him. He made sure he made plenty of noise, just like Dirk loved. Dirk guided Dave with his hands on his hips as he fucked himself on his cock. “Just like that, baby. Have mercy…”

Dave arched his back and supported himself by putting his hands on Dirk’s shoulders. He clenched his body so that his hole tightened around his cock. “Make me come.” Dave said. It was a request in a demanding tone but how could Dirk refuse him? He braced himself and before he began thrusting full force into him. Dave yelped and dug his nails into him.

“Oh, fuck! Yes! Fuck me, Dirk! Fuck me, Daddy.”

Dirk smiled and pressed their foreheads for me. “You like that? Hm?”

“Mhm! Oh, please! Fuck me, harder!”

Dirk laughed at the goofy grin Dave had on his face after letting the words slip out of his mouth with a little too much enthusiasm. “If I fuck you any harder I’ll tear you in two.”

Then ruin me!” Dave hissed impatiently.

Dirk forced himself to slow, with a cruel smile spreading across his face. Dave’s mouth fell open and his brow furrowed. He banged a fist against Dirk’s chest. “Don’t you dare, Strider! Don’t you dare! Finish what you started.”

Dirk grabbed him by the jaw. “That’s no way to talk to your daddy, now is it?” Dave quickly changed his mind. “What if I spank you and send you to bed?”

No! Please, don’t! I wanna cum, sir.” He pleaded.

Dirk chuckled and gave him another kiss. “You’ll have to ask real nice.”

Dave smiled and rolled his eyes behind his lids. “Pretty, pretty please… daddy? Can I cum? Will you make me cum?” He leaned in and have him a peck on the lips before easing himself down on his cock again, hoping to god he didn’t pull out of him at the last moment.

“Aww, Dave… since you asked so sweeetly…” He picked Dave up and flipped him onto his stomach against the mattress. Dirk took a handful of his hair and pulled his hair back as he fucked into him. Dave reached back and held onto his thighs. Dirk held him down with his other hand, digging his nails into his hip before he came into him, finishing Dave off in his final thrusts. He let his head fall against the mattress as he pulled out and collapsed next him.

Dave fell asleep the moment his head hit the bed. Dirk grinned and got up. He stretched. He suddenly remember the texts from Jake. He made his way to the other side of the bed and dug it out of the clothes pile. He deleted the pictures without opening them and typed a message in response:

 I’m calling this off.

Chapter Text

Weeks earlier…


Jake offered him a cigarette. “I don’t smoke.” Dirk told him. Jake raised his eyebrows and lit up. He used to, when he dated Jake. That was a long time ago. Jake took a drag and turned his head to exhale.

“That much has changed?” Jake asked with a smile.

They sat on the balcony of Dave and Dirk’s shared flat so that the smoke wouldn’t burry itself in the cushions of their furniture and stink up the room. They exchanged long expressions of wariness. Jake finally spoke. “What made you decide to call?” He asked before he took another quick puff.

Dirk wasn’t sure he could answer that question. He had just been thinking about the past, about them, and suddenly he missed him. He missed him a lot. He shrugged and looked off into the city. Jake nudged his leg with his foot. “Dirk, you called me so talk to me.”

“I don’t know!” Dirk huffed, standing and walking back into the house. Jake put out his cigarette on the railing and followed him.

“Don’t do this. Don’t avoid me. Come here.” He grabbed his arm gently and pulled him back. Dirk turned to him with a dare in his eyes. Jake let him go, moved his hands to his waist. “Dirk… tell me what you want. Do you want me? Is that what you want?”

Dirk looked over Jake’s shoulder at the clock on the wall. Dave was going to be out for a while. He looked Jake in the eyes and furrowed his brow. “I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what to do.” He began to fidget. Jake grabbed his hands in his and pulled him close.

“Let me give you some options.” He spoke softly before kissing Dirk gently. Jake held his face in his hands before pulling him even closer. Dirk pulled away with a huff, wiping his mouth.

“You taste like ash.” He hissed. Jake only smiled.

You like it.” Jake replied and laughed. Dirk shoved him off and walked away. Jake made himself at home, jumping up on the stool at the kitchen island. “Can we forget it ever happened?”

Of course not, you fucking idiot.” Dirk hissed.

“Tha-That’s not what I meant. I mean, just… forgive me, Dirk… I think we were, I was, quick to bail. I should have given us time. We both just… weren’t ready to be in a relationship.”  Dirk looked stressed – his brows furrows and eyes glistening with what very well may have been tears. Jake took his face in his hands and spoke gently. “Loving someone means being there for them through thick and thin and when it got tough I abandoned you… I was wrong, Dirk. Okay? I was so wrong. I hurt you. I’m sorry…”

Dirk broke and a sob tore through his core. “You’re an asshole.” He growled before he fell into his arms. Jake pulled him close and buried his face into his hair. Dirk pulled back again, his eyes distrusting. “No…” he said. “No, I can’t. I can’t do this.” He wiped his tears.


“I can’t do this… this…” Dirk scoffed. “I can’t do what you did to me to Dave.”

Jake was at a loss for words. What could he say? He had no right to be, but he was angry. “Then don’t cheat on him.” He suggested. “Leave him.”

Dirk laughed. “You said it yourself, Jake! When things get tough or confusing you don’t just abandon the people you love.” Dirk caught himself by surprise. Did he love Dave? Did he love him like he had loved Jake? Was that possible?

Jake threw his hands in the air and huffed. “Things wouldn’t be so confusing If you would just make a fucking decision, Strider. Not everything has to be SO FUCKING COMPLICATED.”


Jake growled. “DON’T CALL ME THAT!”

Dirk rolled his eyes. “OH! I’M SORRY! LET ME LIST OTHER NAMES THAT SUIT YOU.” He cleared his throat. He suddenly shoved Jake backwards. “LYING, CHEATING, COCKSUCKING FUCKING JERK OR PERHAPS, DOUCHE MCCUNT-”

Oh, please…” Jake sighed, rubbing his temples. He could feel a headache coming on. He eventually joined in the name calling. “YOU’RE A FUCKING PILLOW PRINCESS. YOU’RE A GODDAMN WHINEY LITTLE BITCH, DIRK. I CANNOT… I cannot…” He grinned and began to giggle. Dirk broke his expression as he smirked. “I cannot believe we’re doing this.”

Dirk snorted. “I… I’m a grown man and I said-”

“Forget it.” Jake pulled him in for a kiss by his waist and surprisingly Dirk kissed him back. He ran his tongue alone the very inside of his lip before stroking the roof of his mouth. Their tongues met and intertwined. Suddenly the taste of ash wasn’t half bad. Jake kissed his nose, his forehead and all over his face. “Forgive me.”

“You’re a pig.” Dirk reminded him in-between kisses. He couldn’t believe himself and he didn’t know why he was responding to him like some cock starved, just-legal twink. Maybe Jake just gave him something Dave couldn’t…

Jake picked him up and put him on the couch. He unbuttoned Dirk’s pants and pulled them off of him. Dirk didn’t argue. Jake removed his own pants then, along with his shirt. Dirk did the same. Kneeling down onto the floor, Jake took Dirk’s legs over his shoulders. He kissed the insides of his thighs, rubbing his hands across his soft skin. He pressed a kiss into his pelvic bone, right next to his cock. Dirk inhaled sharply.

Jake smiled and took his length in his hand. “You just tell me if you want to stop…”

Dirk never said a word. Not then, or the next time, or the next.

~ o0o ~

“Im calling this off” Jake mocked Dirk’s message into the phone. “What the fuck does that mean Dirk?!”

Thunder rumbled in the distance as if to emphasize Jake’s anger.  “It means I can’t fucking do this and I’m not going to.” Dirk told him. “Look I-”

“You promised me that you would try, asshole! So try!”

“Jake, baby, I did try. I tried so hard… but…” Guilt had overcome him.

“Is this what you call ‘trying hard’, Dirk?” Jake growled. “Fuck me for a few weeks and then leave? That isn’t what I wanted!”

Dirk scoffed. “What about what I want?! You’re like a child. All you think about is yourself.”

Jake rolled his eyes. “That is not true.” He said. “You know that’s not true!”

“If I’m honest, I don’t know what the truth about you is anymore. I don’t care. Let’s just drop everything. Okay?”

Jake hung up. Dirk gave a deep sigh and shook his head. He was going to get hell for that but it was okay. He heard the door close behind him and he quickly gained his composure. “Hey!” He greeted Dave as he walked in, wet from the storm. Dave was in a less than cheerful mood but managed to smile for him. Dirk kissed his wet hair before Dave waddled up stairs to change. Dirk watched him go, paying careful attention to the stirring in his chest.

“Hey David!” He called up to him. Dave sighed, just slightly irritated about being stopped in his tracks on his way to shed his cold, wet clothes, and turned around.

“What’s up?”

Dirk gave him a shit eating grin. “I kind of love you.”

Dave returned the grin. “I kind of love you too!” He laughed and trotted away up the stairs.




Chapter Text

“So tell us… what do you remember?”

   Gamzee sat before the council. He was still in a hospital gown, tubes and needles buried in his flesh. The whites of his eyes were red and his usually brown eyes seemed nearly black. He was dazed but no longer confused. He rubbed his burning eyes and sighed. “My dealer was taken into custody… I was having withdrawn a-and…” He softly wept; tears didn’t come from his eyes but he did weep. He just had no tears left to cry, be it because he was dehydrated and his eyes were dry or because he had already cried all that he could. He gasped for air.

“Take your time, son.” Said a councilman.

“I was destroying the room. I had torn apart furniture, broken the window, I was throwing things out the broken window. Karkat tried to calm me down and I… I started beating him. I… I felt his nose crunch under my fist but I kept on hitting him. I don’t know why. I just couldn’t stop. I was so, so angry with him, at my dealer… I took it out on Kat…” He froze. He began to think about Karkat again. Was he okay?

“And you feel remorse for what you've done, James?”

“Yes! Of course, I do… I think about it all the time. I wonder how I could have never forgotten…”

That isn’t your fault entirely.”

There was an intermission of about three hours while they reconsidered their consequences. Gamzee was put in a temp cell and monitored closely while he waited and waited and waited out those long three hours. The council argued and discussed amongst themselves and then finally called him back.

“Due to the circumstances we have reconsidered your sentence. We could have never predicted the drugs effect on your judgment and personality. You are no stranger to us. We know of your history and struggle with drugs – your motivations and reason. Therefore, we are sentencing you to fifteen months in a detention and rehabilitation center. We’ve arranged a number of-”

Gamzee furrowed his brow. Detention center? “N-No…”


“No.” He spoke more clearly. “You saw what I did to him. I deserve prison. I-”

“James…” spoke one of the council members. “You have what it takes to recover. Frankly, I don’t know what has gotten you this far, but I’m going to say it’s the will of some god. You’ll thank us for our mercy later. ”

Gamzee accepted his new sentence silently. He wondered if Karkat would forgive him if he got on track. Hell, even if he did recover from the drugs, he’d still be a hood rat… No… he wouldn’t be. He’d get a job. He’d go to school, get a degree and man up. It was about time he took a stand for himself… and for the people around him. Had to stand up to the only monster that had ever been hiding in his room at night, in dark corners, under the bed or in the closet – himself.

~ o0o ~


John made himself coffee and poured maple syrup over his waffles. They were his, no one else’s, he wasn’t going to share – especially with Jake English (because what a jerk). Jake came down, rather surprised to find John sitting at the island having breakfast by himself and reading gossip on his network feed. He teasingly went to grab one of his waffles and got a fork to the hand.

“OW! John, what the heck?” He laughed it off. John ignored him and Jake knew that something was very wrong. He grabbed a box of juice and sat beside him. “So, uh… any news on the convention schedule.”

“You’re going too, so you would know too.” John replied coldly.

Jake sighed. “What’s the matter?”

“I could tell Dave the whole truth, you know. It’d fucking crush him.” Jake didn’t need any context. He wasn’t completely stupid.

“How much do you know?” He asked after a long minute of silence.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” John hissed. “I find out that you’re cheating on me and you’re only concerned about how much I know?”

Jake shook his head. “I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Um, yeah. You did.” John growled, looking him straight in the eyes.

“John, look…”

John got up and placed his plate in the sink before leaning his back against the counter to hear Jake’s excuses. “All you had to do was tell me. We could have worked something out.”

“I… yeah, I guess…”

You guess? Take a better fucking guess.” John punched him in the ribs. It hurt, but Jake didn’t complain knowing he deserved it.

“John, please, can we talk about this?” Jake nearly pleaded.

Can we? Are you sure you don’t want to go talk to Dirk?”

Jake grabbed his arm and pulled him close. “Yeah! I am sure.” His grip was firm and his tone was severe. It took John by surprise. John yanked himself away from him. “I made a mistake, alright?” Jake continued.

A tear rolled from the corner of John’s eye. Jake saw it glisten and watched it roll down his cheek. He reached out to catch it, to swipe it away but his hand was slapped off course. “Plural.”


“You made mistakes – more than one. You don’t fool me, Jake.”

Jake kept his mouth shut because he knew he couldn't argue with that. John shook his head in disbelief. “You know, my parents don’t talk to me.” John whispered. “When I turned eighteen I came out to my parents. I thought it was my first step into manhood – taking a leap of faith. I thought that it would be okay! I mean, you’re parents are always there for you. No matter what.” He scoffed. “I told my mom that I wanted to stay home that night and that I would cook dinner as thanks for all the years they took care of me. I set the table, I got out family recipes, I even dressed nicely and at the end of the meal I said, “im dongseongae – I’m gay”.” Jake stayed quiet and listened. John continued. “They didn't react. They finished in silence. We went about our lives. Weeks later they suggested that I move out. They said it would be good more me to transition from home to living on my own. They helped me hunt for apartments until they found a nice place with decent rent on the edge of Korea-Town. They helped me move all of my things. I was speaking to my mother about the excitement of moving out, of being a man but she was quiet. She was never quiet - always nagging about something… I turned around and my father said to me, “dangsin-eun salam-i anida – you are not a man.” He looked me right in the eyes with no remorse. I tried to laugh it off but they just… stood there. I thought my mom of all people would back me up but…” John wiped his tears and held back a sob. “She told me, jib-e oji ma – don’t come home.” Then they left.” 

Jake’s voice cracked when he spoke. “J-John…”

 “Even in a fairly priced apartment, rent was hard to pay. I didn’t made a lot of money slicing fish in the market and delivering mail. I tried other jobs but… I wasn't happy. I was living on nothing but instant noodles and soured milk. I couldn’t go home and I had no one to call for help. So I turned to sex. Why not? It felt good. It was the only think that felt good. Why not do it for money?"

Jake furrowed his brows. Why was he tell him this - why now? “That’s… when you got into porn?” 

John smiled and laughed lightly. “No. This is before that.” He took a deep breath. “I had standards – politicians, business men… People who would pay big money for just a few hours with someone warm and soft. Some paid me to travel with them. Before I knew it, I was drowning in cash. I put it away, let it accumulate, and got myself out.”

“Fuck, man...” Jake whispered absent minded.

“It made things easy for a while… but money doesn’t last forever. I made a few careless investments, got cocky. It wasn’t as bad as before. An old client’s friend approached me, said he had a business and wanted me aboard. He told me I’d never have to do anything I didn’t want to do, that I’d be free to leave when I chose…that I’d be safe. It was an offer I’d be an idiot to refuse. That’s when I got into porn. That’s when I met you.” John smiled warmly at the memory. “You were perfect. When you smiled you would glow and warm up the room. I was convinced that the sun shined out your ass.” He laughed at his own remark. “I built my world around you because you filled up the emptiness inside my chest. You made me feel at home when I wasn’t allowed to go home. So don’t act like I’m in the wrong for being hurt. Don’t act like I’m in the wrong for scolding you. I trusted you…” 

“I didn’t know any of that…” Jake whispered. 

“Knowing wouldn’t have changed what you’ve done.”

Jake hung his head low, staring at the ground. “I love you…” “I guess your love wasn’t enough… neither was mine.” John walked upstairs, hiding away in his room. Jake was left to sit alone and ponder, sulking in regret. He threw his phone into the wall with anger pulsing through him. “God-fucking-dammit. God dammit!” He growled to himself. A voice from within himself began to mock him. “Poor Jacob… can’t beat your own game?”

Chapter Text

Day one of the convention was not really day one but rather “Day .5” in which they arrived at the hotel, were shown around and rehearsed their shoots, interviews and various other events. It was the day before the conventions began. They took company transportation to the airport, took private cabs to the venue/hotel and found their rooms. Dave and Dirk decided to bunk together, as well as Sollux and Kat. John and Jake stayed in two separate rooms on separate ends of the same hall.
“We aren’t together tomorrow. Are you shooting?” Dave asked looking down at the schedule as they walked, dragging luggage behind them.
“Mhm.” Dirk nodded. “Live show with Jake. We’re doing some pretty intense stuff.” Dirk tried to laugh it off but Dave could tell he was uncomfortable.
“You okay with that?” Dave asked, nudging into his side.
“It’s work.” Dirk gave him a grin.
Dave stopped and huffed. “Dirk, I’m going to tell you what you always tell me. If you don’t want to do it, let him know. What does he even have in mind?”
Dirk gave another uncomfortable sigh. “Uh… he’s going to throw me around a bit, fuck my brains out… there’s going to erotic asphyxiation. Always been his sort of thing. It’s not that I don’t enjoy it when it’s happening but, like I said, it’s intense - drains you.” Dirk pressed a kiss to his head. “I’ll be fine. I’m just nervous. You get nervous!”
Dave snorted. “It’s kind of scary seeing you be nervous.”
John walked ahead of everyone. Jake stood behind and watched him get into the elevator alone and pressed the “close door” key at just the right moment so that the door closed in his face. Dirk and Dave caught it and burst out laughing. “Holy shit, dude!” Dave gasped between hoots. “What did you do to him?”
Jake wasted no time replying. “I cheated on him and he left me.” The least he could do was own up to it. Dirk and Dave’s stomachs dropped. Both of them experienced separate anxieties. Dirk’s chest tightened because it became extremely apparent to him that his and Jake’s relationship had not gone unnoticed. Dave’s stomach dropped because his suspicions may have just been confirmed. They brushed it off with apologies.
“Oh, man. I-I didn’t realize… I mean, I don’t think either of us are actually surprised bu-”
“Don’t apologize. I mean, whatever right? Just one less person to worry about.” Jake scoffed. Dave found the statement to be almost cruel. It made him sick. “Anyway, you coming to the rehearsal, Strider-One? I want to, uh… get some good practice in.” He turned and winked over his shoulder at Dirk.
There was a dumbfounded moment of silence before Dirk answered. “Uhm… yeah. I’ll be there.
“Good. See you then.”
Dave kept his mouth shut until they got to their room. “What the fuck is wrong with him? I swear to god he’s an actual psychopath.”
“No! No, he’s no-”
“Now you’re defending him? Oh, okay. That’s great. Fucking sweet, Dirk.” Dave huffed.
Dirk put his suitcase on the bed. “No! That isn’t what I meant, David. He’s not that kind of crazy. He’s just… I don’t know…” Dirk sounded sad and it made Dave even angrier.
“Oh, spare me the ‘he’s problematic but it’s okay and sad how he ended up that way so let’s coddle him like a baby and slap him on the wrist when he’s a fucking cunt’ speech. I will actually punch you in the nose.” Dave unzipped his bag and put his laptop on to charge.
“Oh, Christ, Dave.”
“I’m serious. Don’t do it!” Dave plopped himself on the bed next to him. “Don’t.”
“I’m not!” Dirk growled, shaking his shoulders and giggling. “Ok?”
“Good. And don’t let him talk you into doing anything you don’t want to do tonight or tomorrow.” Dave rolled on top of him and kissed him. “I’m going to go check on John.” He wiggled off the bed and grabbed his key before he left.
“I’ll be in Jake’s room.” Dirk informed him. He took a shower first and changed clothes. Dirk spent extra time primping himself – plucking little stray hairs from bare places and making sure his hair was just right. It made him feel guilty. Why spend so much time on his appearance when he was just going to see him? He forced himself to stop and then wandered down the hall.
Before he knocked on the door, he rubbed his wrists nervously. He gently tapped on the door five times, and no sooner did the door open for him. Jake was in his stage costume, or rather, getting into it. Skin tight latex covered him from ankles to hips and hung around his waist. He lathered up his skin with oil so that he could slide into the rest with ease. “Strider.” He nodded.
Jake pulled him inside before he could finished. “Underwear.” He demanded. Dirk sighed and stripped down to nothing but his orange boxer-briefs. He kicked his clothes aside and waited for Jake to approach him. When he did he stood so close that he could feel the tension in his body, nearly feel the air being sucked into his lungs.
Up close, Dirk could see the bags under Jake’s eyes. He smirked as he came up with a snarky jab at his sudden conscience but lost his train of thought when he looked into his eyes and saw that they were filled with lust and longing - and if you looked really close, pain. Jake leaned forward and pressed his head against Dirk’s who in response snorted. “It’s your own fault.” He blamed him.
“I don’t fucking need you to tell me that.” Jake hissed, shoving Dirk into the wall in a fit of rage. It actually surprised Dirk, who exclaimed his name in a gasp. Taking advantage of him being stunned, Jake turned him around and shoved his face into the wall while he pinned his wrists. Dirk felt his cock press up against his ass as he began to tie rope snugly around his wrists, binding his fists together. Jake pressed his lips just below Dirk’s ear and whispered, “Do I have your permission?”
Dirk nodded and Jake grabbed him by his hair and jerked his head back so that he could hold see his eyes. “Yes or no?”
“Y-Yes! Fuck!”
“When you want me to stop, say ‘I’m your little bitch’. If you can’t speak, make that sweet little sound you make three times, real fast.” He chuckled, nudging his nose into Dirk’s cheek before letting go of his hair and pushing him into the wall again. “If both words and sounds fail you, then I’m doing my job right.”
Dirk rolled his eyes before he was pushed down and made to look Jake in the eyes. Jake began to instruct him. “You’ll start down on your knees – where you belong.” He roughly grabbed him by the jaw and made him bury his face in his crotch. Jake kneeled and slapped him right in the face. Dirk looked up at him with his piercing eyes, the slightest hint of hatred in them. “Tsk, tsk. Strider, you know better than to look me in the face.” He hit him again, harder this time, but sparing him his full wrath – that was for tomorrow. He couldn’t have him on stage all bruised up. However, no one would exactly blame him for playing rough a little early.
Dirk lost his balance and grunted at the sting, but still couldn’t help but moan. Jake laughed. “I bet you miss this…” He said, making him face him again. Dirk adverted his eyes from his. “Dave would never treat you like this – good on him. Open your mouth.” Jake ordered and Dirk did as he was told. He parted his lips and let Jake guide his head. “Relax your throat.”
Dirk took a deep breath and then nodded. Jake eased his cock into his mouth. Dirk needed no further instruction. He swirled his tongue around the tip and hollowed his cheeks as he sucked him. He pushed himself, taking every little inch down his throat until his nose brushed Jake’s pelvic bone. He gagged and Jake intertwined his fingers with his hair. “Good! Good.” He praised. He began to move his hips. Dirked moaned around him before gagging again.
He pulled back with a pop, and glared up at him. “So are we rehearsing or just fucking?” He asked bitterly. Jake frowned, barely noticeably.
“We’re… Just suck, Strider.”
“Just fucking. Mhm.” Dirk snorted. “Untie me.”
“Fucking untie me, Jake.”
Jake reached behind him and fumbled with the knot until it came loose. Dirk stood and rubbed his wrists before gathering his clothes and getting dressed. There was silence between them. “Dirk if I wasn’t… like this, like me… would you love me?”
“Fuck off, Jake.”
“Would you?”
“Does it fucking matter? You are you. You’ll never be any different.”
Jake huffed. “Don’t leave me, Dirk.” He whined. “Please, I don’t want to me alon-”
Dirk slapped him. It caught him by surprise and he stumbled backwards, bringing his hand up to his face to soothe the pain. “Maybe you should have thought about that before you cheated on John.”
At this, Jake smiled. It was that devious smile he mustered when he knew he had caused a particular amount of chaos for anyone involved. “Is that what you tell yourself, Dirk? When you feel alone?” Dirk stiffened. Jake slithered behind him and pressed his lips against the skin between his shoulder blades. He mocked Dirk’s voice and said, “if only I hadn’t cheated on Dave… maybe I wouldn’t be so alone…” He wrapped his arms around him from behind and nestled his face into his neck. When he looked up he could see a tear streaming down Dirk’s face. “Aw, don’t cry Strider. You’ve always got me.”
Dirk swiftly turned and punched him. “You’re sick.” He growled. “I mean it. You’re fucked up in the head, Jake. You need mental help.” He told him as he wiped the blood from his nose. “You’re unfit for this job and I’m recommending that Dad give you paid leave. See someone.”
Jake laughed a short, sharp laugh, more of a scoff, and glared daggers at Dirk. “You tell him, I’ll tell Dave everything.” He threatened. He pinned Dirk against the wall for a brief moment before Dirk fought him off then swung at him again but missed, throwing himself forward. Jake took advantage of the moment and pinned him on his stomach, pushing his face into the mattress.
“I’ll tell him how much you love it – how you love it when I talk bad to you.” Dirk grunted as Jake pushed him deeper into the mattress, smothering him. “You like it when I play the bad guy?” He pulled him up by his hair. Dirk gasped, taking air into his lungs. He squirmed and wiggled until he fought was on his back. Jake straddled him and rubbed his crotch with his bulge, grinding his hips into him. Dirk moaned. “You like it best when I tell you every little thing I’m going to do you before I do it, don’t you?” When Dirk didn’t answer, he smacked his cheek. “Don’t you?!”
“Yeah.” Dirk said in an unamused tone. Displeased, Jake took one of his nipples between his fingers.
“Huh?” He rolled and pinched.
“Ah! Ah! Yes!” He cried. “Yes sir.” He corrected himself.
Jake smirked knowing Dirk was submitting to him, still with that hateful look in his eyes. He supposed that didn’t matter, though; it wouldn’t when he was fucking him into the mattress. “I’ll tell him how much you love being fingered and how you moan like a little bitch. He’ll jerk off for days at the thought of it. Maybe I’ll film us one day for him - give it to him for Christmas, maybe Valentine’s Day.” He laughed.
Jake dragged his lips across his skin, upwards to his neck and then sunk his teeth into him. Dirk gasped and yelped out in pain until he realized that it felt good. It felt so good – all of it. He liked the weight of his body on top of his as he was pinned. He liked the feeling of being struck and how it felt to be bitten on such a sensitive area. The worst part was that Jake knew it – he knew he was eating it all up. So the moment he bit down, he shoved his hand into his pants and began to stroke his cock.
Dirk came undone. He shoved him backwards and then flipped onto his stomach, wiggling out of his pants again. “I hate you. I fucking hate you.” Jake quickly lathered his cock up with lube and pressed it against his eager hole.
“I know. I know you do.”
Dirk whined as he stretched around him, reaching back and grabbing his hips to pull him closer, deeper inside. “God, I hate you so much.” He gasped when Jake’s hips grinded against his ass. “I fucking hate you so, so much.” He repeated, glaring over his shoulder.
“You can’t stay away from me.”
“I work with you, you fucking absolute moron.” Dirk huffed in disbelief.
“Shut up, Dirk, you’re killing my boner.” Jake growled between his teeth.
Jake shoved his face into the mattress again and rolled his eyes as muffled curses came from him. Still he sort of smiled and placed a kiss on the back of his neck. Dirk grew quiet for a long moment as the kisses continued up and down his spine as he fucked him. His thrusts were all but gentle, but he…
There was a knock on the door and it startled them both. Jake froze, his lips still pressed against Dirk mid-back. “Hey, Dirk! It’s Dave! My room key doesn’t work, can I use yours?” Jake pulled out of him and let him get up. Dirk slid into his underwear and pulled his t-shirt over his head. “Yeah, just a sec.” He threw a sheet over Jake and went to the mirror. His eyes were red and his face was puffy from being struck so heavily. He huffed and sneered at Jake who gave him a little wink. He grabbed the room key and opened the door.
“Here you go.” He tried to close the door but Dave stopped him.
“Whoa, whoa. What’s wrong your with your face?”
Dirk scoffed. “What’s wrong with your face?”
“Got all these little dots all over your nose. You been playing in dirt?” Dirk laughed nervously.
“Dirk.” Dave was giving him this look, the look he get gets from his mom. His eyes light up with hell-fire and make him feel despair.
“Come on, man. You know how he is.”
Dave looked at him with amazement. “You’re going to end up like Karkat.” He said softly. He didn’t mean it. Well, he did but… with no insult to Karkat. What he meant to say was, “He’s just like Gamzee.” The words slipped out.
Jake’s heart dropped. “I-”
“He’s not…”
“STOP IT, DIRK. STOP FUCKING, DEFENDING HIM! WHAT DO YOU DO THAT FOR?” Dave was only angry because he cared far more than he liked to admit.
“He isn’t like that!”
“The only difference is that he’s not constantly snorting cocaine off of toilet seats! But that’s what makes it worse. He does this consciously.”
“And I do it consensually!”
“Well, why don’t you let him consensually beat you to death?” Dave roared.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? Huh??” Dirk hissed at him.
Dave went up in flames. “You really can’t see the goddam parallels, can you?” He laughed out of his own hysteria. Dirk looked ashamed, batting his eyes as he avoiding eye contact. “I’m not talking at about the sex, the BDSM or whatever, okay? I’m talking about the way he treated you – the way he treats you! And John, too!”
John, who had been standing in the background out of sight finally spoke up. “Let’s go, Dave.”
“No. I’m nowhere near finished.”
“Yes, you are.” Dirk growled under his breathe so that only Dave could hear.
Dave shoved him aside, deciding that he couldn’t be reasoned with and began to attack Jake. “You’re a fucking psychopath, you know it? You play with people and you’re good at it. You’re so fucking good!” He laughed. “But not him. He isn’t your chew toy. I don’t care if he was once upon a time, but he isn’t now and I’ll be damned if-”
“I’m not a psychopath.” Jake whispered weakly. Dave didn’t hear him.
“John came to me weeks before hand and talked about how fucking manipulative, and cruel you are. You hurt him, Jake. I’m not going to let you hurt him too.”
“I’M NOT A PSYCHOPATH.” He roared. It seemed to shake the walls. “You half-witted little boy toy, you don’t know a goddamn thing about me and no matter how much you like to think you do, you don’t know shit about Dirk.”
“Are you listening to him?” Dave huffed, turning to Dirk who appeared to have shut down. “I cannot belie-”
Jake, stark naked, came out from under the sheet that Dirk had draped over him to preserve his modesty. “Him and I, we have history. But you two, he has obligation to you.” He mocked sounds of sobbing. “I feel bad because I neglected my bother when we were children – THAT is what he feels for you. There’s a difference. Get out of my fucking room before I get the collar out.”
Dave stood in stunned silence before he abruptly resorted to violence. John seemed to appear out of nowhere and held him back. He pushed him out of the room, shoved Dirk back inside and slammed the door shut. “Know how to pick your fights, David.” He said quietly, almost defeated.
Dave banged against the door. “H-Hey! Dirk, do something! Don’t just stand there, Dirk!” There was no reply or sound in response. All the hall was still and quiet. He punched the door, tears welling up in his eyes. “D-Dirk!” A familiar weakness crept into his voice. “B-Bro… Do something….”
“C’mon, Dave. Let’s go.”
All Dirk could hear was, "Dirk…why don't you stop him, bro? He's hurting me… Dirk!" just like all those years ago when they were kids and he realized that maybe… maybe… Jake was right all along. It was obligation that bound him to Dave, the desire to fix what he had done… but now he was letting it happen all over again… He was shaking. He went to the bathroom and splashed water on his face, feeling sick to his stomach.
He could hear Jake throwing a tantrum before he came into the room. “You need to leash that bitch, I swear. I’m not a psychopath.” He defended.
Dead in the eyes, Dirk looked over at him. “Well, if you weren’t fucking insane to some degree you wouldn’t have to convince me otherwise.” Jake’s jaw nearly dropped when he said that.
“Excuse me? What the fuck do you know?”
“I know you.”
“You don’t fucking know me, Strider.”
At this, Dirk laughed. “I know you better than anyone here, Jake.”
“Hahaha, no! No! You don’t get to tell me about baggage, Dirk.”
“I’m not trying to tell you about anything. Jesus Christ, you’re exhausting!” Dirk huffed.
Jake’s breathing was labored. “Y-You… no… I’m not a psycho… I…” He was sweating, his eyes unfocused. His hands came to his hair and his nails dug into his scalp. Dirk turned and looked at him with concern.
“… Jesus fucking Christ… there really is something wrong with you…” Dirk realized.
“I- Jake!”
Jake was crying big, angry tears but his eyes – he was hiding something. There was something he wasn’t telling Dirk, something he didn’t want anyone to know. He was ashamed of it. “I’m not… Dirk…” He whimpered.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Come ‘ere. Come here.” Dirk pulled him close and held him tightly. Jake’s legs collapsed out from under him but Dirk carried him back to the bed, letting him fall into a nest of sheets. He crawled in next to him. “What’s the matter? What’s wrong?”
Strained, he finally spoke once he had breath. “I-I don’t know. I’m… I’ve been like this for forever and I just… I don’t have any control over anything, Dirk. He’s right. I’m fucking insane. I’m crazy.” Dirk looked at him with disbelief. “I don’t know why I’m this way, but I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Dirk.”
Jake wasn’t a psychopath but so many people had used that word against him he started to believe it, started to play the role they had cast him. It started when he was a child. He never fit in, not just because he was a pretty boy with straight teeth and good grades, a teacher’s pet – but because he was different. His parents wrote it off as the ill temperament of a child but it grew into something bigger, something much worse.
His first girlfriend called him a monster. The boy he dated in the ninth grade called him Norman Bates and his brothers mocked him; “psychopath” they called him. But it wasn’t his fault. He tried to be good but he… he just… wasn’t.
Dirk tried to comfort him. “Why didn’t you tell me, Jake? Why didn’t you tell anyone?”
“I didn’t want anyone to know.” Jake whispered. “It’s embarrassing.”
“Jake… I… I…”
“Please leave.” Jake said suddenly.
“Please don’t. Just go…”
Dirk, for a moment, thought that it would be best if he just left but then he saw the blank look on his face, the emptiness that spoke volumes. “Absolutely not. I’m not leaving you alone.”
“Dirk, this isn’t a fucking fairy tale. You can’t save me.”
“That’s bullshit. I can’t accept that. I’m going to help you, okay? Do you trust me?”
“You can’t stop it, Dir-”
“After the convention, we’re going to talk to Dad and we’re going to talk to a professional and get you on medicine that works and you’ll be alright!”
Jake looked at him like he was the whole world. “Why are you doing this? After all I’ve done to you why would you do this?”
Dirk smiled. He spoke with silence. Dirk pinched his cheek softly and laid back. Jake snorted and snuggled close to him. For once, he believed it and he didn’t feel so ashamed.
~ o0o ~
They rented a car and decided to go driving. John listened to Dave sob as they drove down the highway. “I should have left him when you told me but I didn’t want to believe he would chose him over me.”
“Hey, for what it’s worth, neither did I.” John sighed trying to mask his rather obvious concern. “Maybe you should pull over. Let me drive.”
“I’m fine.” Dave hissed.
“Dave, I don’t think it’s particularly safe to drive while sobbing.”
“It’s just down the street after this exit, I’m fine.”
They stopped at the red light. “Wait, where are we going?”
“There’s a bar down the street.” Dave told him.
“Okay, let’s not turn to alcohol to solve our problems. Okay?”
“I don’t want to be sober right now, John.” The light turned green and Dave eased on his gas.
“Dude, I understand – wholeheartedly, I do, but I don’t want you turning into some alcoholic, you know?” John exclaimed very suddenly, pointing out the driver’s side window. Dave turned and saw only headlights before the SUV slammed into the door. Dave remembered only the force impact, metal grinding against metal, then the sound of the asphalt scraping against the roof top… and then blackness… and heat.

Chapter Text

Burning... burning… burning. All around him there was thick, blackness. It filled his lungs, choked him. His hands searched aimlessly for light or something that wouldn’t burn his hands but he found nothing. For a moment he was convinced that he was in Hell and his heart filled with the misery and regret. He regretted everything he had done, told himself, “no, no this can’t be the end”. This wasn’t what death was supposed to be like. This wasn’t what his death was supposed to be like. He was supposed to grow old and go to bed one night and gently pass into another world but instead he was here, burning in Hell and-

An angel...

An angel in a bulky mask tore back the abyss and light flooded into Hell. It reached out its hands and pulled him from the flames and suddenly he was alive again. The Angel wrapped him in a blanket and the flames ceased. There was light all around him and he felt suddenly peaceful… suddenly…

“Stay with me, son. Come on!” Said the angel in the mask. “Say with me.” John never imagined that an angel’s voice would ever sound so weak.

“Where’s Dave?” John asked softly as the angel held him in his arms. “Dave’s burning…”

“We’re gonna get your friend son, don’t you worry. Just stay with me!” Said the angel, his eyes both cheery and sad. John grinned softly and nodded in reply.

There was enough light shining past the smoke that Dave could see the jagged beam of metal, a piece of the wreckage sticking through his torso. He wanted to scream, to cry but he could only choke on the coppery liquid that ran from his mouth, down his chest and into his hands and lap. He was no longer sure what was happening, only that he didn’t feel good that that the red fluid was slick on his skin and he didn’t like it. Why was it coming out of him, why was there so much? Wh…Why… Where was… John? John…
John. Where was John?

“Johmnnn!” He coughed and gasped. “AAUGH!”

The fire fighter that rescued John managed to pull back the wreckage so that paramedics could safely remove him as they held the flames at bay. “Get him to the urgent-emergency care center ASAP.” Ordered a woman once he was on the gurney. Dave didn’t comprehend her words, or anyone’s words. The world became a dark and cold void, soundless and empty… empty…


… Dirk?

Chapter Text

Dave could hear it all. The roar of flames, the panicked voices…

He experienced brief period of numb, blank headedness and then more voices. These voices were spoken with urgency but not quite as severely as before. “He’s not responding to any external stimuli. He’s gone comatose but for now he’s in stable condition. I want him wired. Monitor his condition 24/7, observe changes every hour on the hour. Take him in for scans. See what’s damaged.”

“Doctor, he has family in the waiting room. Should I give them an update and inform them about his friend?”

“I’ll do it.”

That’s all he remembers. And before he could form a solid thought, his mind went blank once more.
~ o0o ~

John’s entire body was burned. He was bloody and raw, leaking fluids like a waterfall, dehydrating quicker than they could keep up with. They had resuscitated him once on the scene, started IV’s, given him oxygen but it wasn’t enough… not enough to save him. They did all they could; cut down, anesthetic... He died on the table, wrapped like a mummy in saline soaked gauze. The nurses cried. What had they done wrong? They had tried so hard, whispered words of comfort in sweet voices once they could do no more for him. The fact of the matter was that everyone had a limited capacity for pain and John, no matter how undeserving of his death, died because his body could take no more.
Was he in a better place? Would someone remember him? Was he loved? Maybe somewhere there was a small child that resembled him or carried his name and genes to take a piece of him forward in the world, or a friend that would always keep his picture, dusted and pristine, right next to the TV so that every time they sat down to watch a movie, to catch up on their favorite show, they would think of him and how they used to do the same together. These were the thoughts that plagued the minds of the nurses in the ER that day, once his screams had ceased and his soul had passed.

John thought that the worst part was how it felt to die. He was angry. He was so angry at Jake, at his parents, at the people who hit them in their tyrannosaurus car because God, Dave didn’t deserve that; neither did John. But a time came, and would come for everyone, where they had to put aside their mortal struggles and move on to something better, or worse, something unknown. You just had to lie down and take it. On that final thought he sighed his last.

It came as a shock to everyone. It was surreal to Dirk and to Jake. They ran as fast as they could as soon as they managed to decode the words as if they had been spoken in code. Everything moved in slow motion. Getting the hospital wasn’t the worst part, seeing the crash scene wasn’t the greatest, but it was waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting that brought them agony. They waited for hours before a man in a white coat and clip board came into the amply named ‘waiting room’. Dirk and Jake watched him expectantly, hoping – praying – that he would call one of their names. They were in luck, except that they weren’t.

“John Egbert and uh, Dave Strider?” The doctor’s voice was uneasy.

“Us! They’re ours!” They both jumped to their feet, legs shaking and stomachs in knots. The doctor nodded solemnly, motioning for them to sit. Dirk turned a little green as the man dragged a chair to their side.

“Ok… I’ll be straight with you boys… I can give you the bad news or the bad news. Which do you want first?”

Dirk grimaced and shrugged before looking away so that no one could see the obvious pain in his eyes that was mixed with a glint of self-hatred or disgust because in that moment all he could think was NOT Dave. God, not Dave. Jesus fucking Christ not him. Not David... Not him.

The doctor continued. “Dave is in the coma ward, ICU. His state is critical. We’re monitoring him 24/7, observing any changes, hoping for the best but… there isn’t much we can do but wait.”

“Oh god…” Dirk sighed, the tension in his stomach lightening ever so slightly. It was a sigh of relief and regret.

Jake was stoic, silent and still. Big tears rolled down his cheeks and dripped down his chin. He began to shake his head. “No.” He whimpered.

“I… are you his brother?” The doctor asked Jake in reference to John.

“No. No, I… I’m his… I’m his boyfriend.”

The doctor nodded. “Son, we tried all that we could to save him. Our team gave it their all, gave it their best, but... he couldn’t shake it. John seems to have left taken a little piece of everyone with him today. The nurses had never-“


“Jake…” Dirk implored softly.


“Jake, I never thought this would happen…”

Jake made a nearly inhuman growl as he tried to keep his sobs held within his chest. “NO, NO. You said everything would be okay but now it will never be okay… I don’t want this... I don’t want this. Jesus fucking Christ, it’s our fault! If we had never- if we had ne-”

Dirk broke. “OUR FAULT? WE WEREN’T EVEN THERE, JAKE. EVEN IF WE WERE, WE COULD NEVER HAVE STOPPED THIS.” He sobbed, wiping his puffy eyes. “I don’t care how upset you are, YOU DON’T GET TO PUT THE BLAME ON ME.”

Jake turned away from him and with pleading eyes asked if he could see him. He had to see him, see his charred corpse to believe it and put his mind at peace. Well, not peace, but in order to get to a place where he could accept the truth he had to see him. The doctor refused. “I think you need to take a while to think it all through.”

“I’m thinking it through right fucking now and I want to fucking see him, god dammit.” Jake spat and the room grew silent. The doctor nodded and took him away but Dirk new better and stayed behind. But even though the morgue was in the basement, he swore that he could hear screaming. Were they Jake’s screams, or was he just thinking too hard about what John’s must have sounded like in his final moments?

He felt dead, he thought, and then he felt sicker because suddenly “dead” meant something different. Dead was John; John was finally at peace. Dirk was something worse than dead, he was alive. Life created this fire of its own that burned a certain way – just enough to hurt but never enough to kill you. God, how he burned and burned, and burned.

Chapter Text

“You two should go home for a while.” Dave’s nurse had advised Jake and Dirk after realizing that they had sat in the same spots, nearly in the same position for three days with hardly a wink of sleep. They nodded and gathered their things without a word, leaving with a silence that made her stomach flip. They were like zombies – dead in the eyes, moving stiffly. She watched them go down the hall and catch the elevator.

She sighed and continued her work. “Poor boys.”

Dave had a sudden, rapid change in pulse and blood pressure before stabilizing. She froze and saw it out before recording the change on her clipboard. “Man, you’ve really, done it, Strider…” She said aloud to him with no particular goal. Talking to patients became a habit when you were a night shift nurse in the coma ward. It made you feel a little better, a little more hopeful that they would wake up.

Jake and Dirk were silent all the way to the hotel. Without a need for words, Dirk followed Jake to his room. As soon as the door was shut and locked behind them, Jake collapsed. Before he could hit the ground, Dirk caught him and pulled him back up and carried him to the bed.

“Get your shit together, man.” Dirk whimpered. Jake sobbed into his chest, beat his hands against his shoulders. “Hey! Hey! Cut it out, Jake! That’s not going to help! J-Jake!”

Jake’s face was red and his cries were silent. There was no air left in his lungs. He gasped for oxygen and after a moment he spoke. “It’s my fault.”

Dirk sighed with exhaustion. “I wish you would stop acting like you’re the only one who feels guilty.” Before Jake could open his mouth Dirk continued. “You aren’t alone in this. Okay?” He brushed his thumb against his cheek. “Look, I think we both need to sleep. You especially. Yeah?”

Jake nodded. Dirk offered him a broken smile before he helped him get undressed. “I didn’t mean it…”

“Shut up. Go to sleep.” Dirk grumbled before pulling off his shirt and jeans, rolling over and trying to do the same. He felt Jake’s warm cheek press against his back and his arms wrap around him and pull him close. He felt terrible for Jake. He was afraid for him, even. Dirk knew that he wasn’t strong enough to deal with the loss of John or Dave’s condition thinking that it was all his fault.

He had a bad feeling in his chest about it. Jake made bad decisions, rash ones without even considering the consequences. But Dirk promised him that he’d get him help, and he had every intention of keeping that promise.

He heard Jake snoring softly against his back and wondered how long he had been laying there worrying. He forced himself to silence his brain and fall asleep.
When morning came Dirk was the first to wake up. He slid carefully from Jake’s grip and sat up on the edge of the bed, his bones popping and cracking as he stretched. He got in the shower quickly and dressed in a hurry. He grabbed one of the hotels complimentary pens and note pads and wrote a quick note.


I’ve gone to the hospital. Didn’t see any reason to wake you up. Be kind to yourself, I’ll be back soon.
- Dirk.


There wasn’t much Dirk could do but sit and wait but he tried to do something good with the time he spent carefully listening to his pulse from the monitoring and hoping for movement behind the lids of his eyes. He read to him, made playlists full of his favorite songs and played them for him, talked to him as if he were awake and… alive.
At the end of the day he went back to Jake at the hotel. Jake was sitting in a tub of cold water – had been for hours. Dirk drained the water and filled the tub back up with hot water and soap. He joined Jake in the tub.

“Hey…” He said, urging Jake to look at him. He took his face in his hands and made him look him in the eyes. “Jake, how long have you been in here? Your skin is like a prune...”
Jake thought about it and finally replied, “About four hours.”

“Aw, man. Christ, Jake… don’t do this.” He rubbed body wash into his skin and massaged him. Jake groaned. His muscles were stiff and sore from hitting in uncomfortable positions for hours on end. Dirk pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. “I need you to keep it together. I-… Jake?” He noticed that Jake was too disoriented to listen to anything he was saying and comprehend his words. He sighed. Dirk rubbed his neck and had him lay his head on his shoulder.

“Dirk, I-”

Dirk kissed him for the sake of shutting him up. “Don’t, okay? Just shut up and relax.”

Jake exhaled and it almost sounded like a chuckle.

Neither of them remembered going to bed nor falling asleep that night. When Jake woke up, Dirk was gone, same as the day before. He tried to take his advice though and not fall too hard into depression. He dressed himself and grabbed a bagel before going out. He left Dirk a voice mail as he wandered from the hotel into the city:

“Hey, uh, Dirk! I’m trying my best. I just wanted you to know… I’ve gone out for a while. Call me if you get back before I do. Bye.”

He had no particular destination in mind but found that wandering was a good enough distraction. The city was big and full of sights, smells and people; All kinds of people all around him. He found himself people watching from a park bench midday. One middle aged woman was covered in short animal hair, probably from a cat, and wore a light knit jacket with her hair in a bun. She had on glasses that made her eyes (and the dark circles under them) appear much larger than they were.

A handsome man with a wedding ring on his finger passed by him. The man smelled of women’s perfume – multiple scents. However, Jake didn’t think he was cheating on his wife. While a cheating man wore his lover’s mark on his neck, he still had a faint tint on his lips and his nails were lightly stained blue. He liked to cross-dress. Jake snickered to himself. Most people were just no good at hiding secrets.

Jake jumped when a teenage boy startled him as he sat next to him on the bench. “Sorry, didn’t mean to spook you, man.”

Jake shrugged. “S’okay.”

There was a brief moment of awkward silence before the kid spoke again. “Hey, uh… you ‘kay? You look pretty rough.”

“I’m fine.”

“Ahhh, alright, alright. I get it. I see.” Murmured the stranger softly.

“See what?” Jake snorted softly. “There’s nothing to see.”

“Not from where I’m sittin’, mister.” The boy laughed. “You’re sitting on a park bench watching people pass you by…”

“What are you getting at, kid?” Jake snapped looking over at him. “I’m sitting on a park bench alone because I want to be exactly that. Alone.”

The boy then literally snapped his fingers and pointed to Jake. “There! I was right!”

Jake felt his eyebrows twitch. This kid wasn’t very bright. Why else would someone be by themselves in a city full of people…

“What’s your damage man?”

“What’s your name?” Jake asked rather than answering his question.

“Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! How rude of me to skip introductions.” He cleared his throat and offered his hand. “My name’s Robert, Rob, Robbie. Either of the three is fi-”

“Well Robert-Rob-Robbie, nice talking to you.” Jake got up and began quickly pacing in the opposite direction.

“W-W-Wait! You never told be what your damage was!” Said Robert-Rob-Robbie as he chased after him.

Jake huffed and stopped so suddenly he had to dig his heels into the sidewalk. “You want to know my damage, pal?” He growled, baring his teeth (which would have horrified any sane person, but not Robbie didn’t fit well into that category).

Rob paused for a moment, eyes wide but curious. “Yep!”

It was useless trying to scare the dumbass off. So Jake told him. He told him about cheating about losing his mind, about John burning alive, about Dave being in a coma and his guilt. Robbie sat and listened to every word as if he were listening to his grandfather tell him interesting war stories and they were just that – war stories.
“… so that’s… that’s my damage.” Jake wiped his tears off his face.

Robbie sighed. “Geez man, here!” He tossed a little vial into his hands. “You need it more than I do.” It contained a rather thick, green liquid.

“Oh yeah!” He tossed him a syringe.

“W-What!? You’re giving me drugs?!”

“It’ll help you forget.” Rob told him softly. Those four words were enough to shut him up. “You wanna forget, right?” Jake nodded after nearly a whole minute of silent contemplating. “Take it. Lie down, relax. Might hurt a little a first but then you’ll be numb and you’ll forget for a little while.”

“… Thank you…” Jake put it in his pocket and began to walk away.

“Hey! One more thing! You want more… call me! My numbers on the vial. I deal pretty cheap.”

Jake only nodded and made his way back to the hotel. The vial had a little ‘S’ on the side. Could this be… Sopor?

Chapter Text

Dirk’s eyes burned. It was three in the morning and he had thought it best to go back to the hotel and check on Jake. He seemed to be feeling better lately – eating a little, talking more. His footsteps were muffled against the hotel carpet. He shuffled ahead, the lids of his eyes slowly drifting nearer to one another. He was exhausted. He felt a buzzing in his pocket and dug for his phone. It was Jake.

“Hey, sorry. I’m in the lobby.” Dirk reassured. “I just got here. Be up in just a sec… Jake?” There was a whimper on the other line – gurgling, choking. “Jake?!” He demanded a response. “You alright?” He hurried to the elevator and pressed the button to go up. “Jake answer me!”

“Please help me! Please help, Dirk! I made a mistake. Oh god, I’m gonna d-”

“Hey! Hey, Jake! W-What happened? Jesus Christ…” Dirk began to jam the buttons. He felt his heart pounding against his chest. No, no… He wouldn’t lose him too. He would not lose him. He took the stairs, putting his athletic skills to use. “Jake, baby, listen to me, I’m almost there, okay? I’m almost there!” He could hear more choking sounds.

Dirk took the door key and forced it into the slot – first, wrong side up. He finally managed to unlock it correctly and stumbled inside.


Jake was lying on his back with his head hanging off the bed. His nose was bleeding and and his mouth was foaming. A pool of vomit was on the floor. Dirk scurried to his side and pulled him onto the floor, positioning him so that he wouldn’t choke to death.

“Jacob! Jacob, hey! Look at me!” He patted his face and snapped his fingers in his ears. Jake responded as he pulled through a haze.

His voice was laced with fear. He was so afraid that his words came out as meek stutters. “D-D-Dir-”

“What did you take?! Jesus fucking Christ! What did you take?!” Dirk cried, pressing his forehead to his. Jake grabbed his hand. His skin was clammy and cold. He forced a little vial into his fist.

“Call… the number. He’ll know what to do.”

Dirk read the number quickly. Green sap got on his fingers and he took the time to feel the texture between his fingers as he dialed with his other hand. “You put this in your body?” He asked softly, fearfully.

“Hello?” a voice answered.

“I-I…” Dirk didn’t know what to say. “God, Jake what did you do?” He cried.


Jake laughed. He laughed and it was sinister and startling. Foam and vomit dripped down his cheek and when he coughed, the blood that was running down his throat from the nose bleed sputtered onto Dirk’s face. He smiled and looked up at him with empty eyes. “W-What?” His laughter was weak but hysterical. “What?!”

“What did you take, Jake?” Dirk feared he knew the answer.

“Gamzee was a crazy son of bitch but man… HE KNEW HOW TO GET A TRIP.” He burst into laughter again before choking.

Dirk crawled away from him and leaned against the wall.

“Uh, hello?” Asked the voice on the other end of the phone again.

“You. What’s your name?”

“Hah, you’re callin’ me, mister! You shou-”

“I asked you a question.” Dirk’s voice was cold and demanding.

“Uh… Robbie.”

Dirk snickered. Just a kid… “Robbie.” He mocked before asking him another question. “Robbie, did you sell my friend a drug called ‘Sopor’ by any chance?”

“V-Vitamin –S?”

“Mm. Well, if you know it you’re a dealer or a dead man.” Dirk sighed. “The big hotel in the middle of town, you know it?”


“Good. I’ll expect you here in ten minutes.” He pulled the phone away and put his finger on the end button before he heard Robbie call out.

“Wait! Wait… the guy… he alright?” Robbie was nearly shitting in his pants as he heard the manic laughter in the background followed by violent heaving and then sobs and pleads followed by laughter, vomiting, crying, begging, laughter, vomiting…

“Would I be calling you if he were okay… Robbie?”

“I s’pose not…”

Dirk gave him their room number and waited outside the door. When an acne ridden little jerk came scurrying in his direction with a long black case, he opened the door and locked them inside.

“Fuckin’ shit!” He said when he saw Jake’s condition. “How much did you take?!”

Jake giggled, motioned for him to come closer and whispered, “All of it.”

“Wha-?! You were only supposed to fill the syringe up to the marked line, you idiot!”

Dirk grabbed Robbie by the throat and slammed him into the wall. “Look, these walls are pretty solid kid. No one has called anybody to report a disturbance yet. I doubt they’ll mind if I throw you over the balcony. FIX HIM.” He growled and pushed him forward.

Robbie nodded and opened the brief case. He tossed restraints at Dirk. “Tie him to the bed!”

Dirk didn’t question it. He grabbed Jake as gently as Jake allowed him to and clipped one around his wrist and then to the bed. Jake whined. “No, no, Dirk! Please! Please!”

“I’m trying to help you! I promise I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”

Like a mad man, Jake began laughing once more. “This is so kinky!” He scoffed. “Are you gonna fuck me, Dirk? Are you tired of being on bottom? We can switch!”

“Shut up, Jake.”

“You wanna fuck me like you fuck Dave? Hm? You wanna plow me like a little who-“

Dirk grabbed him by the jaw. “Look, you son of a bitch. You got yourself into this and now I have to dig you out. ” Tears ran down his cheeks. “All that you’ve put me through, I ought you leave you hear and let you choke to death on your own bile. Shut up. SHUT UP, SHUT UP!” He finished restraining him and fell back.

Robbie started an amateur IV on him and let a mixture of liquids flow into his body. Dirk watched as Jake’s insanity and aggressiveness turned back into fear and pain. But to everyone’s surprise, he begged them to stop.

Jake wept, “You said I’d forget! You said I’d forget…”

Robbie took a handful of zip lock baggies out of the case and began to sort through various pills. He put them in a separate bag and through them at Dirk. “Vita-S is a complex drug, man. He’s having a negative reaction and will need help stabilizing. Have him take these – every hour on the hour. DO NOT let him skip a dose. Twelve hours! Take the red ones the first six hours, and the three following take the purple. During the final three take the orange ones. Alright?” He wrote the instructions down on paper and stuff the paper into the zip lock.

Dirk nodded.

The sun was shining into the hotel now. Robbie knocked him out with some other drug out of pity for the two of them. “Let those run their course.” He said, pointing to the bagged liquids being pumped into Jake’s body. “Remember the pills! Every single hour!” He stressed. Robbie packed up but before he could leave, Dirk stopped him.

“Kid!” He sighed, exhausted. “Don’t do drugs.” Especially don’t do this drug.

Robbie scoffed. “I don’t. I’m not as stupid as you think I am. I only sell them.” He grabbed his kit. “Anyway, he’ll be better soon. Stay with him. And uh… ‘ave a great day!” The little freak smiled and gently closed the door behind him.

He set an alarm and took a twenty minute nap before he woke up to the sound of panic. He pulled himself up off the floor and took Jake’s face in his hands. “Hey! Hey! Shh-shh-shhh… you’re alright, Jake… Here.” He put the first pill on his tongue. “Take this.” Jake nodded and did as he said.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry, I-”

“Don’t apologize, listen to me…” Dirk grimaced. He had to scare him straight.


“I’m going to leave you here, Jake. I’m going to walk away.”

Jake spoke with panic. “N-No, no-”

“Because if I leave you here and you die, that’s on you… but if he dies… that’s on me. I set this entire series of events into motion and it should have ended the moment he knocked on that door… so I’m leaving you here, and I’m going to walk out that door, to my room and try and get some sleep.”

Jake grabbed after him as Dirk tried to go. “Don’t leave me, Dirk. Don’t leave me! I’ll die without you! I’ll fucking die! Please…”

Dirk snapped. He turned and roared, “THAT’S ON YOU.”

“No, no, no! You promised! You promised you’d help me. Please, help me. Please.” Jake gripped his wrist even tighter. “Don’t go! I-I can’t breathe!”

Dirk shook him off. “You’re breathing fine. Stop it.”

Jake sobbed. “Don’t give up on me, Dirk, you promised… I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry!”

Dirk stopped in his quest for the door and kneeled by Jake, holding his hand in his. He tried to cut him off but he couldn’t be that cold. He didn’t want this to feel like abandonment. “And im gonna make good on that promise… but you have to do this for yourself.” Dirk kissed the back of his hand. “Call me later if you… just call me.”

Dirk went back to his own room. He sat on the cool mattress and laid back, his bodying sinking deep into it, and sighed. Tears were running down his face. He smeared them away with his hand and took a deep breath. He buried his face in his pillow before reaching for his phone and setting an alarm for the hour.

Damn him.

Chapter Text

      Dirk held Dave’s hand in his, close to his lips. He whispered things against his skin, hoping he could hear him speak, feel the heat of his breath against his bruised flesh. He spent every day like this. Dirk liked to think that he was just sleeping and that Dave would dream about the things around him. So Dirk said painfully sweet things and tried to make everything better with words.

   “You look better.” He told him, pressing a kiss against his hand. “When are you going to wake up? I miss you.” Dirk forced a grin and kissed him again.

   There was another sudden disturbance in his vitals. Dave’s heart rate began to raise and then fell again. A nurse came into check on him and logged the change. It was the same nurse that was there every day. She patted Dirk on the back.

   “If you need something, let me know.” She reminded him before leaving. He gave her a smile.

   Dirk watched her leave and turn towards the nurse’s station before turning his attention back to Dave. He wondered if he would wake up. It had been so long since he had heard his voice… Dirk wished that it would have been him instead, that at least he deserved it. Dave didn’t deserve this.

Dirk hadn’t heard from Jake at all except for a text that he had sent to let him know he had survived. Dirk stared at the text and sighed with relief. He put this phone aside and turned his attention back to Dave.

   “John’s funeral is tomorrow.” He said softly, sadly. “I bought flowers for the both of us – roses and lilies. They’re the prettiest flowers I’ve ever seen… They’ll be the biggest bouquets there.” He was met with silence. He wasn’t sure what he expected. He sighed heavily. “The nurses said that even when he was suffering he was still worried about you, that he kept asking if you were alright.” Dirk scoffed. “That’s John for you. He was crazy about you.”

   Dirk looked at the time and figured that he should get back to the hotel, shower, check on Jake and rest up for tomorrow. He kissed Dave on the forehead. “See you tomorrow, bro.”

   Time seemed to move a little slower. It felt like it took hours to get back to the hotel, another hour to strip off his clothes and hours to shower.  Dirk got lost in time as he blow dried his hair. He stared at his reflection blankly, into his own dead eyes looking for his soul. That’s when Jake called him. Dirk didn’t answer the phone, figured all his questions would be answered the next day at the funeral home when they would see each other at John’s service. But then he called again and then again until Dirk couldn’t bare it any longer.

   “Jake, I-”

   “You left me to die.” An emotionless voice cut him off. There was silence between them. Cold, awkward silence… Jake continued. “I would have died if you knew how to tie a knot for shit… I didn’t call to bitch at you, though…” He stated weakly.

   Dirk’s heart was pounding. He sounded so sick, so beat that he no longer sounded like himself. He had no spunk or enthusiasm, no energy for sarcasm. Jake coughed and Dirk cringed. It sounded as if one of his lungs was caught in his throat. Dirk spoke with care, “Jake, maybe you should call me later…” He advised him.

   “N-No! No.” Jake waited for his body to settle again before speaking. “I called to thank you.” He said in the same empty tone. Something in his voice indicated sincerity but he wasn’t sure what.

   Dirk sat in stunned silence for a while before responding. “You what?”

   “I wouldn’t have done anything to save myself if you hadn’t left me to fight. I understand why you did what you did.”

   Tears of relief streamed down Dirk’s face. “Are you alright?!” Dirk whimpered with a strained, apologetic voice.

   Jake chuckled. “I’m still living. I’m okay. I’m just in a lot of pain but I can’t complain, man.”

   Dirk jumped. “The pills! You’re taking the pills aren’t you?”

   “Yes, of course…. Go to bed, Dirk. We’re both going to need our rest.” Jake hung up without another word.

Dirk smiled for the first time in a long, long time.

~ o0o ~

   Everyone from the company was there. Everyone had loved John dearly – the photographers, the actors, the film editors. Karkat and Sollux sat in the front row with Dad. Karkat balled his eyes out and eventually slumped over into Sollux’s lap and cried some more. Dad tried to do exactly what his nickname implied and be a strong, father figure that would put good spirits into everyone but eventually… well… a man could only be so strong.

   Jake sat in the back and quietly watched. He lined out speakers and a track list for the service, made a slide show and even ordered catered comfort food. Mid-service, Dirk slid in and found a spot next to him. Dirk looked over his expression carefully, assessing his stability before speaking.

   “Hey…” he whispered. Jake opened his hand and took Dirk’s in his, placing their entwined hands in his lap.

   “Thanks for the flowers. He’d love them.” Jake said softly.

   Dirk nodded and sighed. “Didn’t know you invited so many. Where’s his parents?”

   Jake pointed to the most self-pitying people in the room: a Korean couple, sobbing noisily in their native tongue, probably spouting some shit about how they’d always loved him. It ate Jake alive.

   “They never even called him. They never sent him Christmas cards or came for holidays and now they want to act like they were the best parents, like they did nothing wrong.”

Dirk squeezed his hand. “I know. I know…” He let Jake cry for as long as he needed to, holding him, wiping his tears and reminding him to breathe. Dad came over and tried to comfort him so that Dirk could take a break. As Dad approached, Dirk’s phone began to buzz in his pocket. Dad motioned him to step out while he took his place.

   Dirk went into the hall.


   “Dirk Strider?”

   “That’s me…”

   “Hi! I just wanted to inform you that Dave has woken up! He’s a little out of it, real confused, but he wants to talk to you.”

   Dirk dropped to his knees and clutched his chest. “H-He woke up? He’s really awake? Right now?”

   The nurse let out a light chuckle. “Yes sir! I’m assuming you’ll be here soon?”

“Give me ten minutes, ma’m.” 

Chapter Text

For whatever reason, he woke up. It happened in an instant. He could hear the chatter of nurses and noises – all kinds of noises! Beeping and the faint squeaking of cart wheels and nurses sneakers, rubber gloves popping as they’re pulled off hands. David opened his eyes. His room was dark except for light shining through the blinds. He suddenly found himself jamming his finger into the “call nurse” button on the remote which was nestled between his thigh and the safety rail of the bed.

Ding… Ding… Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding!

He took in his surroundings too quickly. All at once he become aware of the tubes down his throat, IV in his hand, bandages on his body and John. What had happened to John. Red light, car wreck, smoke, screaming, fire, fire, fire – what happened to John? Where was Dirk? Where was Dirk? Where was John?
Nurses rushed in.

“Hey, hey, hey! Relax! Everything is fine!” At that, Dave made a horrendous choking sound as he tried to speak. He tried to relax so he wouldn’t gag himself to death. A nurse came to comfort him, gently patting his face and explaining the situation as the other nurses took care of him.

“Hi, David! You’re going to be okay!” He told him first in a sickeningly friendly voice, as if she were coaxing a child. “You’ve been in a coma…”
Everything else she said seemed to be gibberish. The word “coma” echoed in within the walls of his mind and didn’t allow room for anything else to be thought. He whimpered and tried to pull the tube from his throat.

“Whoa, whoa! Not yet! We’ll take care of that for you.” She held his hands down. Dave whined in such a desperate way, like he needed something – someone. She looked him in the eye and nodded. “We’ll call your brother. He’s been here every day, you know?”


Everything moved in slow motion. Dirk ran to the door from the elevator. He lingered at the door frame for a moment, peering into the room from a distance. His heart clenched when he saw Dave’s eyes were still shut. Before he could get too disappointed, Dave coughed and furrowed his brows before slowly opening his eyes and blinking hard as his eyes adjusted to the light. His eyes… he was so glad to see those eyes – eyes he never thought he’d see again. Dirk went to his bedside sobbing and took his hands in his.
Dave seemed tired, despite having spent so many days in a coma. “How long?” Dave managed to grumble.

Dirk pursed his lips and shook his head. “Too long. God, I-”


Dirk’s gut dropped. How was he supposed to tell him that his best friend was dead? How was he supposed to tell him without breaking his soul that his best friend burned alive and suffered before his body finally shut down on him? Dirk remained silent.

Dave spoke. “The nurses wouldn’t tell me… is he…” Dave watched Dirk’s expression with worry and concern. He watched how his brows furrowed and the corners of his mouth turned down. Dirk looked away from him with this dread in his eyes that was unmistakable. Dave’s heart stopped.

“His funeral was today.” Dirk finally whispered to him.

There was a long and impenetrable silence. It was if they were in their own little bubble with a sound barrier that cut them off from the noise of the world around them. The air became thick and hard to breathe. Dirk kissed the back of Dave’s hands as he watched the tears roll down his face and began to cry with him.

“I… he tried to get me out but he was stuck!” Dave cried. His pulse and blood pressure began to rise. “I-I could f-feel his hands tugging at the seat belt but he couldn’t get it loose! He… He kept trying to comfort me, even though I couldn’t respond. And… all I can think about are his screams. All I can hear are his screams and the whole time I was… I was praying…” Dave sniffled as Dirk wiped away his tears. “I was praying to Gods I don’t believe in…”

Dirk offered what comfort he could and did a piss poor job of keeping himself together. He wiped Dave’s tears away. Suddenly the agony turned to anger and Dave couldn’t contain it.

“What about the fucker who hit us? I hope he’s dead! I hope he’s fucking dead…” Dave growled.

“Don’t say that, baby…” Dirk urged softly.

“NO! No. I hope he burned.”

“He’s in worse shape than you, don’t worry. Dad’s taking care of the legal stuff. It’s all going to be alright.”

Dave was impossible to console. He was a little ball of hate, spouting curses and tears. Dave tried to speak but the words never left his lips. He was mouthing silent sentences, and considering the nature of those sentences it was probably best they stayed unheard. Dirk cradled his face in his hands. “Shhh! Shh! It’s going to be alright.” Dirk said into his hair. “It’s not the end of the world, just the start of a world without John and I know you can make it.”


“But I don’t want to! He’s my best friend, Dirk!” Dave sobbed.

Dirk was never good with words. He relied on quiet gestures to show people he cared but Dave needed him. There were a number of things he needed to hear and Dirk was going to tell him every single one. “David,” He began. “This is the part we see in all the movies. This is the part where you have to make a decision. You can live on, immortalize John in your memories. He can live forever there, live on with you and be happy. But if you hold on to the fact that he’s dead, that memory is going to overshadow the rest and that’s when he’ll really be dead – when no one remembers the little things, Dave.”

Dave seemed surprised that Dirk would say something like that. It was so level headed, too much so to be Dirk’s own words and yet they had come out of his mouth. Dave sat in silence as he took in those words and Dirk gave him the time to process everything. He watched Dave’s facial expression carefully and he could see every thought cross his face; anger, hurt, resolve and then peace. Peace only came when he took Dirk’s advice, taking a moment to think about all his favorite things about John. He couldn’t help but smile to himself. Dirk knew then he had gotten through to him.

A nurse came in and replaced the name of last shifts nurse with her own before informing them that Dave was due for tests. She suggested he go grab something to eat and come back. Dave urged him to go, told him he’d be waiting when he came back. Dirk nodded in response before turning back to Dave.
“I’ll be back, okay?” Dirk promised. Dave, who only nodded in response, had a look of longing in his eyes. He didn’t want to leave but had no choice. He said goodbye to Dirk for the time being. The nurse temporarily disconnected him from the vital machines and began rolling him down the hall.

Dirk was reluctant to go anywhere but after an hour went by and his stomach began to want and need he walked down to the cafeteria to grab something to eat after all. Being alone in the elevator gave him a moment to think about something else – Jake. Immediately after the thought occurred to him he called him on his cell.
“Hello?” Jake answered sounding dreary. Dirk sighed with relief.

“It’s Dirk. I was just checking in on you.”


Jake cleared his throat audibly. “Well, I’m not doing particularly well at the moment, but you already knew that. How’s Dave? Any news?”

Dirk smiled. “He woke up.”

“Really?” Jake exclaimed. It was the first bit of enthusiasm Dirk had gotten out of him since the accident. “Oh my god! Did you talk to hi- oh my god… John! Does he know about John?”

“God, yeah.” Dirk sighed, partly out of relief that that was over. “It broke him. It’s going to take so long to put him back together.”

“You’re telling me…” Jake snorted. Dirk was glad he kept his dry humor intact throughout everything they had been through in the last few weeks. Jake released a long, light sigh. “Look, I found a place – a hospital back home.”

“That’s great, man! That’s really good.” Dirk praised. “I’m really glad you’re going to get help.”

“I’m leaving tonight. I’m going to check in as soon as possible.” Jake told him. There was a moment of silence. Jake could hear the elevator ding on the phone as Dirk arrived at the ground floor. “Dirk, I know we’ve… had trouble, but I really owe you a lot.”

“Aw, Jake…” Dirk almost groaned. “You don’t owe me shit.”

“I do! You’ve kept me together even though I didn’t deserve a second chance.” Jake spoke from his heart trying to make sure he fully communicated his gratefulness. “I mean it. Thank you.”

Dirk stood quietly outside the elevator, leaned against the wall out of the way. “… Y-Yeah. No problem.”

“Look, I’ve got to go.”

“Call me, okay, Jacob? I want to know how you’re doing.”

“Yeah. Bye, Dirk.”

Dirk barely whispered his farewell before Jake ended the call and Dirk only hoped it would be the last goodbye he said in a good long while.