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Restless

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It all moves around her in a blur, the entire city, the world moves around her while she stands still. There's a part of her still stuck in that frozen field. She had thought her heart had stopped the moment that he'd collapsed. She knows she's started breathing again, her chest aches too much for that not be the case, but she feels as if she's died, if this somehow is all a bad dream.

She knows she's supposed to feel bad about something, about Blake and Bobby and the sound of her own sobs echoing off the bathroom walls, but that's not here either, that feeling. That's gone too. She's not panicked, or concerned. She's not even sure she's gone numb. Wheren't things supposed to stop hurting when you went numb?

Maybe it's frostbite. She'll have to ask someone about that, Rita maybe. Rita was here or maybe that was yesterday, last week.

She's supposed to be in Hay River this morning, but she's too afraid of what'll happen when her feet leave the ground. She's too afraid of what it'll feel like to fall back to earth. Cece has her riding a desk like he's the one in charge. She doesn't mind. The implications are beyond her. She spends her nights curled up in old rickety chairs, her days downing coffee, shuffling paper. She blinks and the world moves around her while day in, day out, everything else stays the same.