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Better Late Than Never

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        It was the night of Super Camp in Tokyo, and Super Junior was in their van, on the way back to the hotel after a long day of activities. Many of the members had fallen asleep, with their heads resting on each other like fallen dominoes, except for a few. Kyuhyun stared at his laptop; he always became completely engrossed with starcraft the moment a second of time was freed up, and light from the screen revealed his classic expression of focus and wonder. Yesung was also awake, furiously typing and sending emails about his quickly approaching solo  comeback.

        Leeteuk was also awake, but for a completely different reason. In fact, he was staring out the window at the brightly lit moon, deep in thought, reflecting on the day's performance. It was no secret that he loved the pepero game- where one of the members puts a pocky stick in their mouth and, with another member at the other end, bites closer and closer along the snack until one of them backs away.

        Or, until their lips touch.

        You see, Leeteuk loved the ELF fandom. Taking fanservice very seriously, he would easily be ready and willing to kiss any of the members without feeling uncomfortable. He struggled to suppress a giggle that rose as he thought of his encounter with Ryeowook. To be completely honest, he actually enjoyed the provocative nature of the attention it garnered, utterly captivating their audience. While the other members were cringing in disgust, fear, innocent nervousness (or in Yesung’s case, laughing hysterically) Leeteuk would close his eyes, wrap his arms around whichever other member was involved, and never backed down first. Come to think of it, there was really only one other member that consistently held the same disposition. Leeteuk looked down to admire his dongsaeng of 9 days, who laid with his head and upper body sprawled across Leeteuk’s lap. He felt Heechul’s slow rhythmic breathing classic of deep slumber, and gently brushed back the long blonde bangs that covered Heechul’s face. Leeteuk enjoyed watching Heechul sleep, as he rarely- if ever- saw the callous man so vulnerable and without the defense of sarcasm and wicked humor that he was famous for.

        Heechul had always been a very sexually provocative person, and at this point, it was one of his most defining characteristics, not only as a member of Super Junior, but as a public figure. Leeteuk knew this, and always went along with it because he knew the fans took a liking to Super Junior’s 2 eldest members as a pair….

        But was the fanservice the really the only reason? Because tonight, Leeteuk felt something different. Of course, the showy, provocative atmosphere was there, but there was a taste of something else. Something he couldn't describe… this time, there was something... electric, in Heechul's touch. That irresistible smirk, when he turned away from Kangin, and sauntered over with the pocky stick held casually between his teeth. There was just such an earnest hunger to their painfully brief interaction. Of course, nothing was outwardly or observably different about this particular performance but there was an honesty surrounding Heechul that he hadn't noticed before. Leeteuk couldn't tell if this was his imagination gone wild, paranoia acting up, or if there was truly something more going on. But then, what if there really wasn't anything different about this time? What did it say about himself, that he was even thinking such things to begin with? These questions and confusions swirled around Leeteuk’s head, and he was wide awake.

        Leeteuk had always noticed how staggeringly beautiful Heechul was. The entire fandom did. The fact that Leeteuk had quite a bit of work done was also well known and commonly accepted, and while he was generally happy with his appearance, deep down, he felt it wasn't genuine and natural like Heechul's- but he was honestly at peace with that, and it never really bothered him. He maintained his gaze. As he watched his achingly beautiful dongsaeng deep in slumber, he noticed that he felt no jealousy, the way Donghae and Siwon sometimes made him feel, and that confused him. In fact, the only times he felt jealousy with respect to Heechul, was when Heechul started getting close to, and spending time with other people. Leeteuk assumed it was because of how protective he was over the group, because he felt it was largely his responsibility to lead the group and promote unity as Super Junior. While he was definitely wary of any of the members getting too involved with other projects or people outside of SJ, he was never personally jealous… With the exception of Heechul.

        In that moment, he realized that he always did see Heechul in a different way than the other members. He was intrigued by this revelation and assumed it had to do with the fact that they were basically the same age, and it often got tiresome and lonely for Leeteuk to always be referred to with honorifics by the members. But, thinking about it now, that definitely wasn't the only reason Leeteuk felt most comfortable with Heechul. Mesmerized by his beauty, Leeteuk suddenly reached out and began to caress Heechul’s bare arm. Illuminated by moonlight, Heechul’s milky white skin was iridescent, his ashy blonde locks and dark black roots like cascades of a waterfall. Peacefully relaxed in slumber, Heechul was positively radiant. Leeteuk still had trouble comprehending that this was his best friend, and his heart began to flutter.

        What Leeteuk didn't know was that Heechul was actually, in fact, awake. He was physically exhausted from the performance, but similar to Leeteuk, he could not stop his racing mind. Of course, he had completely skipped the part of confusion- Heechul knew exactly how he felt, seeing as he had done a lot more than just mess around with other guys before. The other members were aware of it; it just wasn't really talked about. He also knew that SM wouldn't approve of homosexual activity outside of obvious fanservice, but of course that didn't stop him from partaking in it (after all, this is Kim Heechul we’re talking about). He didn’t openly talk about it not out of shame, but for the sake of simplicity and comfort.

        All whilst Leeteuk was sorting through his uncertainty, Heechul was just replaying that one moment from the pepero game over and over in his mind. The moment when Leeteuk's lips touched his own. Was it messy? Yes. VERY public AND documented? Also yes. Witnessed by other members? Definitely. It was messy and chocolate and pocky filled, but it was also awesome. In that one moment, Heechul felt like he was alone, with Leeteuk, in that giant stadium. He remembered every moment of the interaction. The way Leeteuk's arm began to wrap around his neck, and how it caught him off guard because he was looking in the other direction at Yesung, who told them to "do it seductively." Yeah. Like we’d do it any other way, Heechul thought. Like Leeteuk, Heechul also noticed the difference in this interaction. It was seductive right from the moment he turned from Kangin and set eyes on Super Junior’s leader. Leeteuk looked sexy as all hell and Heechul definitely noticed. He thought of the way the group sweatshirt sleeves were pushed up to expose Leeteuk’s forearms, how his worn, red flannel clung lazily to his hips. Heechul almost started thinking about all of the filthy things he wanted to do to Leeteuk, but stopped himself before the wild and graphic fantasies he knew he was capable of forming in just a matter of minutes would take his arousal past the point of concealability. There had been many times he felt a serious sexual attraction and desire for Leeteuk. He momentarily remembered every time they performed bonamana, and the thrill he felt when they came back to back. He almost smiled, but for some reason, felt the need to maintain the facade of sleep.

        And thank god he did. 

        He knew it was Leeteuk's hand the moment it touched him, and not just because it was the only person who could realistically reach him there in the van. Heechul's heart nearly stopped, and completely took off when Leeteuk started rubbing him. It wasn’t like this was anything new; they were no strangers to skinship- the REAL kind- especially with each other. But this… this was somehow different.

        At any other time, Heechul would've just enjoyed the physical contact with his hyung. Leeteuk began to run his fingers through Heechul’s messy hair with one hand, while the others began to caress other parts of Heechul’s body. Nothing explicitly sexual, just places that might be strange if Leeteuk thought Heechul was awake; the crook of his neck, the tip of his nose, his characteristic wide eyelids. Because Heechul had actually fallen asleep at the beginning of the drive, his t shirt had hiked up and was exposing his waist and lower ribcage. Splayed across Leeteuk’s legs and lap, Leeteuk was in a perfectly position to access Heechul's torso. He caressed the man’s side, and felt where his ribs peeked through because of the stretched position, the planes of his lower stomach that rose and fell with Heechul's faux steady breathing. The touches felt so good, and Heechul felt a release of adrenaline, fueling the thrilling sensations.

        Beyond the deep sexual tension that had been building between the two for so many years, Heechul considered that perhaps Leeteuk's action was a physical acknowledgement confirming their internal desires. Heechul could just feel Leeteuk watching and admiring his face, as he had the intimate feeling of being stared at. Heechul hoped that Leeteuk didn't notice, but his body began to react to the lust that was rising to the surface of his mind, as it began to arise something else along with it. He was horny to begin with, because as it turns out, Heechul had actually just had a very sexually explicit dream, starring Leeteuk, just a few days ago. Now waking up with that same man, touching and caressing him, while his head was directly resting on Leeteuk’s crotch? Oh, how longed to just sit up and straddle his hyung, rip off his clothes and shove his tongue in-

        No. You can't do this here. Not now, Heechul thought. As he tried to focus on his breathing, he felt himself flush pink with blush, which was a new experience for him. He was a man who was ashamed of nothing and pretty much couldn't be embarrassed. (Anything he did that could be considered embarrassing, he did out loud, in public and on purpose). This feeling was new to him, which only made his heart race faster, to the point where he no longer felt the physical exhaustion that had only moments ago claimed his body.         

        As the two men sat in their own respective spheres of introspection, Leeteuk continued to watch Heechul's face and, in a momentary flash of moonlight, thought he saw Heechul blushing.

        

 

 

        By the time they arrived at the hotel, Leeteuk had removed his hands in an attempt to hide his already discovered actions. Heechul still pretended to sleep, all the while willing his erection to calm down, (for now). "Heechul-ah, time to go" Leeteuk murmured, gently shaking the man awake. Heechul got up, more quickly than he normally would've if he were actually asleep, and both of them knew it. Leeteuk thought that he should be embarrassed or ashamed of what he had done, but if Heechul knew and didn't bring it up or stop him, then it wasn't a big deal… Right? They exited the van. Heechul noticed the false nonchalance in Leeteuk’s seemingly innocuous words. He was just glad he would be able to hide his member growing rapidly inside his tight, ripped skinny jeans under cover of darkness.

 

 

        They were all settled into their own rooms. In all of his reflection on the past, Leeteuk remembered back to when they all shared a room, and when Kyuhyun used to sleep on the floor while everyone else had beds in the dorm. Now, they were SM's biggest stars and had earned their own rooms. He smiled fondly as he said goodnight to Kyuhyun. Yes, they were all grown men now, but checking on them before sleeping was a comforting routine for Leeteuk. And besides, Super Junior was missing Eunhyuk, Donghae, Shindong, Siwon, and Sungmin to military services, and they all felt the hole the absent members left them. Ryeowook was having a particularly difficult time without Sungmin, so Leeteuk often tried to console him at night.

        Heechul wandered the hotel hallways. He was too impatient to change his clothes when the truth was, he didn't want to be wearing any at all. He tousled his blonde locks that he knew were a messy kind of effortless perfection as he circled back to Leeteuk's room. He saw that the door was already open, because moonlight shone from behind the cracked door. Without hesitating, he tapped the door with his foot, and it made a tiny squeak as it opened fully. He stood just beneath the door frame, the hallway illuminating him from behind, giving him a half silhouette image. His eyelashes made shadows that danced on his pale face. Leeteuk was sitting on the bed, looking out the window facing away from Heechul. He didn’t have to turn around to know who was there. He already knew.

 

        The two remained still, each being shrouded by a different, strange light. Heechul looked up through his long hair and broke the deafening silence. "Jungsoo-ah.." he half murmured, half breathed in a sigh, his voice trailing off. A rush flooded through Leeteuk at the somehow intimate sound of his real name, stripped of honorifics.

        The following pause was unnaturally long for a normal conversation. Leeteuk was trying his hardest to push his screaming thoughts to the side.

        "Heenim," he finally managed to reply. He already knew the answer to his following question before the words left his mouth.

        "Why are you here? It's getting late... you should sleep," he said in a monotone voice, completely distracted from what he was actually saying. Heechul laughed at Leeteuk’s weak attempt to deny the charged ambience, and gave his hair a casual toss to the side.

        "I think you know why I'm here," he retorted, a sarcastic chuckle laced into his words. Without skipping a beat, he slowly began to walk towards the Leeteuk, and changed his tone from accusatory to sultry. “I felt you, touching me, in the van tonight.”

        Leeteuk cringed at Heechul’s revelation, and felt a twinge of guilt. He stood up and turned to face Heechul from across the room. “I’m sorry,” he replied weakly.

         Heechul answered without hesitation. “Don’t be!” he exclaimed. “I liked it. I wanted more… want more…

         And I think you do too.”

         “Heechul-ah…” Leeteuk looked down and shook his head, in a weak attempt to prevent Heechul from delving any deeper.

          Ignoring Leeteuk and cutting him off from continuing, Heechul crossed his arms and said, “let me ask you this, what did you think of today’s pepero game? Why do you think our lips always touch? Why do we wait as long as possible to stop?” Heechul threw his arms up in frustration. “And anyways, why are the two of us always a pair in the first place?” Heechul’s voice rose. “Stop using fanservice as an excuse for skinship.”

          The hypocrisy of Heechul’s words were glaring from the moment Leeteuk heard that last biting remark. He stepped closer to Heechul until they were directly face to face. “Oh me stop using fanservice as an excuse? Excuse me, who is the one that uses that exact excuse to touch and hug and kiss every male idol you encounter, what with all your variety shows?” Leeteuk looked up, and frowned as he held his chin in a mock thinking pose.

          “That's part of my persona, and you know that” Heechul rolled his eyes.

          “Yeah, well, it's part of your persona for a reason,” Leeteuk replied. “For fucks sake, you’ve even used fanservice as an excuse to get a kiss Sungmin and Siwon before!”

           Heechul could see where Leeteuk’s confusion came from, and he was tired of tiptoeing around the topic instead of addressing it directly. “Yeah, well, the difference is, I never wanted to stick my dick in Sungmin or Siwon.”

          “Like I’m any different?” Leeteuk's words were laced with a biting sarcasm, but Heechul remained as blunt and honest as ever.

           He laughed. Looking down, and sweeping his long blonde hair to the side, he nodded. “Yes, actually you are.”

           There was a pause. Leeteuk didn’t really know how to respond. Sure, Heechul hadn’t said that he wanted Leeteuk explicitly, but the implications were right there in his rebuttal. Still in defense mode, he closed his eyes and enunciated his words so as to be fully heard.

          “And how was I supposed to know that- you flirt and use skinship with every man you publically come in contact with. I don’t do that shit with other people, so how was I supposed to just know that you meant… or, or were feeling something different with me?” Leeteuk’s voice began to crack as his eyes filled with tears, but he fought them back with all the strength he could muster. He was so embarrassed and felt like he just made a complete fool out of himself. How could he be so oblivious? How could he admit to such naivety right to Heechul’s face, of all people? It was something all of the members knew, but you had to be somewhat mindful with what you said around Heechul, because he could easily humiliate you. Leeteuk sat down at the foot of the bed, and his heart began to race as he prepared to be ridiculed.

           However, instead of evoking Heechul’s ruthlessly nasty side, Leeteuk’s innocent confession actually made him feel bad for coming on so harshly in the first place. After all, Leeteuk was right. Heechul’s burning lust for the man was so strong, he just assumed something that burned so bright would be impossible for anyone to miss.

          Instead of taking the offense again, Heechul decided to show Leeteuk that this situation really was different, and truly did mean something more to him.

          “Well… I guess you know now.”

          This confirmation made a single tear spill from Leeteuk’s eye. Quickly wiping it away before Heechul could see, he looked down nodded.

         “Ok.”

          Heechul frowned.

         “Ok? That’s it?” he said, incredulous.

         “Well what do you want me to say? Should I just agree with you? Because that changes nothing. It only makes it hurt worse, for the both of us.”

          This surprised Heechul. He wasn’t expecting such an honest answer, at least not right away. Heechul was prepared with aggression in his heart because he was ready to fight for this, but all of that melted away with Leeteuk’s words. He was taken aback and did not know how to respond.

          Confused, he slowly walked towards the leader and said “I’m here, I love you, and I want you… ” Normally the word “love” in such a romantic/couple context would’ve made Heechul’s dick go completely limp, and make him want to run for the hills. But here he was, saying and actually meaning the very words himself. Leeteuk closed his eyes and turned his face away, before sitting back down at the foot of the bed. This movement caught the moonlight and Heechul saw the reflected tears that were streaming down Leeteuk’s face. Heechul sat down on the bed next to him and felt his heart breaking. He had been prepared to be thrown out, or even punched, but this? It was never his intention to bring pain to the man he loved so dearly. In that moment, Heechul felt so low, and yet he still didn’t understand.

         Leeteuk was hunched over, his head in his hands, concealing the extent of his pain. In between the sobs that wracked his body, he whispered “I love you too.”

         Now Heechul was even more confused. “Then why are you sad? Please, hyung I don’t understand!” Heechul reached out to touch Leeteuk, but the moment he did, Leeteuk recoiled away. Leeteuk wasn’t used to accepting support when he was hurt, and instead often ended up pushing the people who loved him the most away, because of his traumatic childhood. Regardless, Heechul felt the pang of the rejection, which wasn’t something that happened to him often, if at all. Quietly, he said “are you saying that you love me, but you don’t want me…? You can just tell me that, Teuk-hyung. I could just go.”

        Heechul waited a moment, and when he thought Leeteuk wasn’t going to reply, he felt his heart sink as he stood up to leave, defeated. Before he could walk away, Leeteuk abruptly reached out and clung to Heechul’s nearest arm, pulling him back and burying his face into Heechul’s shoulder. The motion startled Heechul, but he waited to give the other man a chance to explain.

         Leeteuk’s sobs subsided, and he said “don’t go. It’s not that I don’t want you, it’s that I do.” He let go of Heechul’s arm to wipe away his tears. “But now that we’ve said it, there’s no taking it back. We can’t un-say it. We’ll just have to live, silently knowing that we both want each other from afar.” He rested his head on Heechul’s shoulder. It was too late to hide their real feelings now. At least before, they could just deny their mutual attraction so they would never have to face the truth. The truth of wanting each other, but never being able to do anything about it. Heechul finally began to understand that this is what Leeteuk was thinking; that anything between them wasn’t even a feasible possibility.

        “Why?” Heechul asked. Leeteuk turned to face him. “Why does it have to be that way? If we want each other, why can’t we have each other?” A million thought flew through Leeteuk’s head- the members, SM, the fans, the Korean media, his parents, their fellow idols. Unable to concentrate on any one thing, Leeteuk instead responded with “are you, completely insane?”

         Heechul met Leeteuk’s eyes. With the moonlight spilling from the window, and pooling over Heechul’s figure, Leeteuk could see Heechul’s heavily lidded, wide open eyes, glittering black in full dilation as Heechul cocked his head to the side and said, with complete sincerity, “Yes.

         But you already knew that,” Heechul chided as he stood up. “Anyways, that’s beside the point. I mean right now; it’s just you and me, Teukie-ah. Just the two of us. Alone.” He chuckled and waved his arms through the empty space for emphasis. “You’re allowed to lose control sometimes,” he said with a sly side smile. Immediately becoming serious again, he continued. “So let me do it. Let me take control for a while.

        Stand up,” he said. Still not making eye contact, Leeteuk obeyed, and slowly rose. They stood directly in front of each other, their hands by their sides. With their faces just inches apart, the space that separated them seemed to be charged with electricity. Sensing the change, their breathing rhythm accelerated with their heart beats.

        Breaking the silence, Heechul whispered “tell me why I should go.”

        Leeteuk was unable to focus, so he sidestepped away from Heechul and backed up. “Because I don’t get to just do whatever I want. I have responsibilities… the members depend on me to always be on top of things. There are people that need me to take care of them… I’m not the only one that will get hurt if I fuck up.”

         Leeteuk’s unending generosity and compassion were often so great, Heechul usually did not know how to show thanks or respond. This time, he did.

        “And what about you, Teuk-ah? Hmm? Who’s taking care of you? I think this is why you have such a short temper sometimes,” Heechul said, walking closer and closer towards Leeteuk. He knew he was pushing it, but he took the risk anyways. “You have all this… this pent up anxiety and energy that you don’t let anyone near, but I know how to take care of that for you!” He was now only inches from Leeteuk’s face, and neither of them backed away. Leaning in close to Leeteuk’s ear, Heechul whispered, “besides… How can you be on top of things when all you can think about is me, on top of you?”

          Heechul smirked and when he turned back to face Leeteuk, the two became hyper aware of each other’s immediate proximity.

          “I…” Leeteuk began, and Heechul raised his eyebrows.

          “Hm?”

          “I just,” Leeteuk repeated, as if he meant to continue.

           But never did. Heechul made another expectant expression, indicating that he was indeed waiting for a reply. But he wasn’t going to get one.

           Leeteuk had let his eyes travel down Heechul’s beautiful face, and became completely fixated on Heechul’s full, soft lips. Lips that a deeply buried part of him had always wanted against his own. This part of him was like a hibernating beast; inactive for years, but still very much alive. Fighting it’s way to the surface, Leeteuk lost coherent thought, which took his rationale too. His mind slipped to the repressed, primal lust of the beast. His breaths became shallow and his facial expression became as blank as his thoughts. When Heechul noticed this, he decided to push his luck and bring on the seduction; slipping his tongue in between and across his glorious lips. And with that, Leeteuk was pushed over the edge.

          “Fuck it.”

          The words became an exhale as Leeteuk gracefully and without hesitation, leaned in to close the gap between their lips.

          The moment leading up to the meeting of their lips felt like a vast eternity of time contained within a split second. Then their lips touched, and it felt like the deeply satisfying clicking sound a key would make when it perfectly fits in to unlock an ancient treasure trove that had finally been found.

          Skipping the closed-lip part entirely, Leeteuk went right for Heechul's top lip, and tasted the sweet wetness from Heechul’s lick. Their lips were both slightly parted from the start, which made for an instant lip lock. Leeteuk reached out both hands to hold Heechul’s head in place, before ultimately settling them on either side of Heechul’s neck. Taken aback, Heechul’s arms remained frozen by his side, and the two spent a moment like this, completely unable to move out of shock and sheer emotion, as they both processed this new, exciting reality. Heechul’s hunger caused him to snap out of it first, placing his arms around his hyung to rest in the small of his back, before he settled into the kiss, and began to gently suck on Leeteuk's bottom lip. The feeling of Heechul’s perfect pair of slick lips sliding against Leeteuk's is what shook the other man back to reality. He noticed that Heechul's lips were softer and sexier than he thought possible, and felt the heat radiating from Heechul’s neck. The whole core of his being craved for more. Leeteuk instinctively ran his fingers up and through his blonde dongsaeng's soft locks with urgency, putting his other hand behind Heechul's smooth white neck.

          Heechul momentarily pulled away and swiftly pulled his shirt off in one fluid motion. This brief separation made Leeteuk’s head spin, so he roughly went in for the kiss again. Heechul was breathless and surprised that the other man had just made the first move, again. He thought of the pure lust that he saw on Leeteuk’s face just before the kiss, and the complete loss of control he displayed turned Heechul on. Heechul reciprocated everything with a greater intensity. He wrapped his arms around his hyungs waist, slipped his hands underneath Leeteuk’s shirt, and dug his nails into the man’s muscular, toned back. The passion of the moment was blinding.

           The two men explored each other's mouths, and it was clear that Heechul was the dominant one. He bit Leeteuk's bottom lip gently, and Leeteuk let out a sigh so deep in ecstasy that it came out as a whimpered moan in a hot exhale Heechul could feel. He continued to suck on Leeteuk’s lips, in between darting his very wet tongue along Leeteuk’s inner lips. He was overwhelmed with sensation, and could barely keep up with the younger man. Leeteuk ran his fingers up and down Heechul’s back. Famous for his milky white skin, Heechul’s skin felt like a warm silk blanket.

            Heechul made the next advancement. His arms moved down from Leeteuk’s back and slowly reached to the crotch of Leeteuk’s jeans. He gently rubbed his hand upwards, and with that motion, Leeteuk broke away from the kiss to throw his head back, his eyelashes fluttering as they rolled backwards in pleasure.

            Heechul rested his forehead at the base of Leeteuk’s throat, looking down. He breathed on Leeteuk's neck, each hot, shallow breath saturated with lust, before leaving long lingering neck kisses that quickly became lovebites on Leeteuk’s exposed neck. Rubbing his hand over Leeteuk’s hardening member inside his pants again, he quietly asked “is this okay?” The last thing he wanted was to move too quickly and scare the man off. He felt Leeteuk’s head nod above him.

            With his approval, Heechul continued his ministrations, rubbing his hand over Leeteuk’s member even harder. Heechul could feel the man’s erection grow, and he quickly went back in for an urgent, wet kiss. He pulled Leeteuk away from the wall and grabbed his ass with his other hand. He unzipped Leeteuk’s jeans and reached in, wrapping his long fingers around Leeteuk's hot, pulsing shaft, and Leeteuk stopped kissing back, his face going slack. He was more turned on than he had ever been before, and his lack of control embarrassed him. Here he was, well into his 30s, acting like a horny teenage virgin. Heechul sensed this change. He let go, pulled away and headed for the door, and Leeteuk had a fleeting fear that he was leaving. Instead, Heechul closed and locked the hotel door.

        "Take off your shirt." The simple command issued from across the room turned Leeteuk on greatly, and Heechul knew this. Leeteuk was always in control and had the most power and influence over the group every day, and Heechul knew that people in this kind of position are often times submissive in the bedroom.

        While taking off his shirt, Leeteuk smiled and jokingly said "is that any way to speak to your hyung?"

        "You're not my hyung, not in this room, not tonight," Heechul replied.

        "...by nine days" Leeteuk muttered.

        Heading back to Leeteuk with urgency, Heechul said, with an exaggerated sigh, "yeah, well, how about I fuck you for nine days?"

        And with that, all traces of embarrassed Leeteuk were completely washed away. His heart continued to race. He'd never admit it, not to anyone, but he always wanted to be the one to arouse this dominant side of Heechul.

        "I'm going to make you come harder than you ever have before," Heechul whispered into Leeteuk's ear, which made Leeteuk’s length grow and throb with anticipation. But Leeteuk didn't dare speak. Instead, he watched in amazement as Heechul slowly sunk to his knees.

        His actions were purposefully, and painfully slow. He began to pull down Leeteuk’s tight skinny jeans, and removed the pants and boxers completely. Leeteuk was well endowed, and although Heechul already knew this, the direct sight caused him to salivate. Looking up to make eye contact with Leeteuk, Heechul unleashed that famous tongue of his, and proceeded to lick every inch of Leeteuk's thick, throbbing cock, from base to head, repeatedly.

        "Fuck," Leeteuk whispered as he stood in amazement. Even though he'd done this kind of stuff with women before, it was nothing compared to the intensity and expertise of Kim Heechul. After a full licking, Heechul took a deep breath and swiftly took all of Leeteuk in his mouth and down his throat where he stayed for a good long while. Heechul loved throat fucking, on both the receiving and giving end, which was rare. Leeteuk's eyes rolled back in his head and his well defined abdominal muscles flexed every time he took a laboured breath. He whispered and moaned different derivatives of Heechul's name.

         “Does that feel good?” Heechul murmured while jerking Leeteuk’s cock faster and faster. He looked up to make eye contact with Leeteuk, feigning innocence. His heavy double eyelids wrapped around his anime sized, shining eyes. “Do you like my tongue on your cock?” The sound of Heechul’s voice in such a dirty and sexually explicit context took Leeteuk’s arousal to the next level.

        “Fuck yes, Heenim-ah… fuck...” Leeteuk hissed through clenched teeth. He looked down and watched the younger man’s bitten and swollen lips wrap around the head of his cock, and Leeteuk weaved his fingers through Heechul's long hair, clutching his head, but not pushing or controlling it. Heechul paid special attention to the most sensitive part of any man and sucked with a distinctively masculine force. Leeteuk knew it felt good to have a mouth or tongue in or on that area, but he had never experienced this sensation before.

Heechul’s tongue was amazing in and of itself, but it became apparent that it was the man attached to it that truly knew what he was doing. He quickly darted his tongue over the slit of Leeteuk’s member and licked up the precum that trickled out. He felt Leeteuk's cock twitch with every lick and Heechul relished in his ability to control the older man in such an all consuming way. Leeteuk’s volume was raising. “Oh my… FUCKING god, Heechul-ah” Leeteuk half moaned, half growled out. He was going to come any second when Heechul suddenly let go and stood up. A look of dissatisfaction and confusion took over Leeteuk's expression, but before he could ask why Heechul stopped, he answered.

        "No way am I gonna let tonight end so quickly.” He leaned in, as if to hug Leeteuk, but instead whispered “I’m just getting started with you babe," before promptly grabbing Leeteuk by the shoulders and roughly tossing him onto the bed behind him with a force you wouldn't expect Heechul to be capable of. Before he could register what was happening, Heechul had taken off the rest of his clothes and Leeteuk watched him gracefully climb into bed, on top of him.

        Now, this was the first time Leeteuk had encountered a dick that wasn't his own, so he was a bit spooked. He definitely noticed that Heechul was big, and the thought of where Heechul might stick that made Leeteuk a bit nauseous. However, in the heat of this moment, Leeteuk's lust got the best of him. Heechul was surprisingly stronger than he looked, and propped himself up so that none of his weight was crushing his hyung, but so that he felt their hard, hot cocks pressed against each other. They both took a moment to enjoy the feeling of their completely naked, warm bodies fully pressed up against each other. Heechul leaned down to kiss the man beneath him, and allowed his focus to shift to Leeteuk’s neck. Heechul’s erection was dry and burningly hot which created a texture and temperature friction against Leeteuk's slippery wet dick as they grinded against each other, both sighing deeply. This made Heechul even more hard than he already was, and it was becoming uncomfortable and impossible to ignore. But Heechul was a patient man. He'd had to endure much more sexual frustration before.

        "How do you feel?" Heechul whispered into Leeteuk's ear, giving it a little nibble. Leeteuk responded by wrapping his arms around the younger man, forcing his full (but not very heavy) weight on top of him. They could feel every breath, every thunderous heartbeat, every movement the other made, with the heat of the other’s sweating body keeping them both warm.

        "Heenim, I want to taste you..." Leeteuk murmured in between sighs, running his arms and fingers up and down and back against the soft, milky white skin of Heechul's bare back. "Please, let me… I want you in my mouth… down my throat." Heechul was in the middle of giving Leeteuk’s neck a big red hickey, and he closed his eyes. He had wanted to hear those exact words come from Leeteuk for so many years. It was a fantasy come true. Every time Leeteuk said Heechul's name, he felt his heart race, the blood flow right to his erection. Heechul sharply turned over. Laying back, completely relaxed with his eyes closed, Heechul crossed his arms behind his head and spread his legs just enough to fit Leeteuk's torso in between. Heechul knew this kind of stuff was all new to Leeteuk, who continued to follow Heechul’s lead. He wanted desperately to please Heechul, and not end up being a disappointment.

        The second Leeteuk's hands wrapped around Heechul's big, thick cock, Heechul let out a quiet growl in response to the flow of blood throbbing in his cock with every heartbeat. Even if it ended up being messy and poorly done, he knew he would love every second of it, just because it was Leeteuk, his hyung for who had been the subject of this intense, decade long sexual fixation and craving. It was something from a fantasy world that didn't actually exist, that couldn't exist, for so many reasons. And yet Heechul thought, this actually is happening. Heechul wanted to laugh, but he didn't want Leeteuk to think he was laughing at him, so he did his best to keep his mouth shut (for once).

        Leeteuk spit on Heechul’s member several times and stroked up, and down, to fully lubricate the area, which wasn't difficult, because Leeteuk was practically drooling at the thought of what he was about to do. Harnessing his excitement rather than fear, Leeteuk could wait no longer and confidently put all of Heechul that he could fit into his mouth. Heechul did not anticipate such an action, in fact, he assumed it would've taken much longer for Leeteuk to get comfortable with just touching another man in such a way for the first time. Heechul's moans were rooted in aggressive growls and low purrs.

        Every sound Heechul made, Leeteuk considered a victory that encouraged him to continue. He went at a moderate speed, but the force of his sucking was greater than Heechul could have ever expected. Heechul tasted amazing, and Leeteuk made sure he knew that. “Fuck yes,” Heechul let out loud curses in between shallow but rapid breaths. Leeteuk looked up to see that Heechul's face was screwed up, frowning with his mouth open in a silent o.

        “You taste so good Heenim-ah,” Leeteuk whispered. He nearly choked several times, and had little control over his gag reflex, but this did not deter him. In fact, Leeteuk was surprised by how much he liked it. What he didn't know, was exactly how much self control Heechul was exercising. Heechul wanted to grip Leeteuk's hair and shove his head down till he was balls deep, fucking his hot, wet throat, but he resisted. No way was he going to scare Leeteuk away and ruin the night like that. So Heechul had an idea to distract himself, if only a little.

        Heechul lifted Leeteuk’s head and sat upright to signal a change in position.

        “Turn around, on top of me.” Heechul motioned to illustrate what he meant, and Leeteuk followed as commanded to form a 69. Leeteuk did a 180 and placed his legs on either side of Heechul’s head. Leeteuk leaned back down and got back to work, sucking and licking Heechul’s still rock hard length. Heechul took a moment to admire the sight before him. How many times had he imagined the sexy leader sitting on his face? And now it was happening. Heechul reached under and began to jerk Leeteuk off. With his other hand, he spread Leeteuk’s cheeks and without any warning, licked from balls to back in one smooth motion. This made Leeteuk jump a little in surprise. He wasn’t expecting to get into anal stuff at that time yet, but he trusted Heechul and continued to follow his lead. Heechul licked, nibbled, and sucked on the entrance of Leeteuk’s hole. Leeteuk was surprised by howsensitive the area was, and how good it felt.

         “Oh Heenim, please, please don’t stop,” Leeteuk moaned out. And then, Leeteuk felt the strangest sensation. He felt himself being penetrated for the first time, but it didn’t feel like a finger. No, it was too… squishy. This was because Heechul had slowly but surely plunged his long, strong tongue into Leeteuk's tight entrance. One of Heechul’s many talents was a tongue fucking, but the position the two were in didn’t really allow for that. Instead, Heechul wanted to lubricate the area before fingering Leeteuk.

        “I am going to put my finger inside you now,” said Heechul, and without waiting for a response, he gave his index finger a preparatory suck, and began. He burrowed, slowly, passing the first ring of muscle. This initial part could be a bit unpleasant, especially for a first time, and Heechul was mindful of this. He smiled as the second knuckle entered Leeteuk, who didn’t particularly care for this sensation yet. Leeteuk made loud, popping and sucking noises as he orally worshipped Heechul’s member, and Heechul was just as loud. Somewhere, in the back of both of their minds, they knew they should quiet down, and Heechul knew he could but… he kind of liked the idea of the other members hearing their 2 eldest hyungs getting their rocks off together.

        Once Heechul’s full digit was in, he moved it around to relax the area. He wanted Leeteuk to be as comfortable as possible. Heechul removed his finger and wriggled out from under Leeteuk so that he was behind him. Leeteuk got up, on his knees on the bed. Heechul wrapped his arms around Leeteuk’s midsection from behind and whispered “we need lube for this next part,” and got up to leave the room.

         Leeteuk was thankful for the cover of darkness because he blushed furiously, “I have some here,” he confessed. Surprised, Heechul turned around to see Leeteuk reach into a suitcase next to the side of the bed and pull out a small bottle. Sitting on his knees now, Leeteuk looked over to see that Heechul was still naked, with his hand on the hotel door handle.

          “Were you going to go to your room completely naked?”

           Heechul shrugged.

          “Why not?” he said, although he knew perfectly well why not (but probably would’ve done it anyways), and Super Junior’s leader scoffed.

           Racing back to bed, Heechul got on his knees behind Leeteuk and before he knew it, Heechul had coated his fingers, and his ever growing erection with lube.

          “Why did you turn the light on?” Leeteuk asked.

           “I want to see when I fuck you.”

           Heechul slapped Leeteuk’s ass before carefully reinserting his longest finger, this time, with his palms to the ceiling. Every male has slightly different anatomy, but Heechul knew that with a small rotation of his wrist, he would be able to reach that hidden, elusive male g-spot somewhere in the general area.

            Leeteuk was already making whimpering sounds at the invasive feeling, and he arched his back, relaxing his larger shoulder and neck muscles. Heechul began to move his finger to find that place inside Leeteuk. Suddenly, Leeteuk went almost completely slack. Heechul could feel that he had reached that softer, spongy patch of flesh, and Leeteuk made it perfectly clear that he felt it too. He nearly collapsed forward.

           When Heechul had pressed on his prostate, Leeteuk felt as if the floor had dropped out from under him. That same flush of adrenaline coursed through his blood that was so overwhelming and unexpected, he momentarily lost control of his motor functions. Leeteuk had never felt more alive.

            A string of filthy curses came tumbling through Leeteuk’s lips as Heechul stroked and made circular motions with his finger. Convulsive jerks shot through Leeteuk's body.

            “Don't stop Heenim-ah- fuck...me,” gasped Leeteuk, breathless. He couldn't stop moving and squirming. Heechul sneakily slipped a second finger in.

            “You like it when I fuck you with my fingers Eeteuk-ah?” Leeteuk nodded furiously and his movements ground up against Heechul's still hard cock. Heechul rubbed up against Leeteuk's soft but firm butt cheek to match the strokes he continued inside of Leeteuk.

            “Yeah, who's your hyung now,” Heechul muttered to himself.

             “YOU ARE! YOU ARE HEECHUL-AH YOU’RE MY HYUNG YOU’RE MY HYUNG!” Leeteuk answered in a series of whimpers and shouts. Heechul was surprised. He didn’t even mean to say that out loud, but Leeteuk’s response brought a wicked smile to his face. “More more more more more,” Leeteuk repeated. Heechul was fingering Leeteuk aggressively, but Leeteuk wanted more.

              Leaning back and turning his head to the left, Leeteuk said “I want you to fill me Heenim-ah, please, please fuck me.” Leeteuk rotated clockwise, making the hand that was around his throat rest on the back of his neck. Leeteuk couldn’t take his hands off Heechul. He pawed at the younger man's chest, the smooth planes of his abs, his feminine collar bones, all whilst whimpering desperate pleads. Leeteuk had lost all control and was a slave to his desires. Heechul put his arms around Leeteuk, in a circle including his arms, holding him close, and honestly it felt really good to have Leeteuk’s full attention and affection expressed in such a yearning, physical way. Leeteuk wasn’t embarrassed, per say, but at the same time, he couldn’t look Heechul in the eye as he begged to be filled with his cock. Heechul noticed this.

            “Look at me,” Heechul said boldly. Leeteuk blushed furiously and shook his head no, averting his eyes downwards.

            “HEY! I SAID look at me,” Heechul repeated, this time laced with aggression, but not anger. He shook Leeteuk's arms in place to make it abundantly clear who was in charge of the situation.

        Sheepishly, Leeteuk looked up, but he barely had the chance to meet Heechul eyes before he was roughly and abruptly pulled into a liplock. The passion was instantaneous, and probably the most x rated a makeout could get. The boys maintained a rhythm of natural movement as their tongues slowly made more and more contact, becoming more and more aggressive. He laced his fingers through Leeteuk's hair and grasped the brown locks between his fingers, essentially controlling the location of Leeteuk’s head. Meanwhile, Leeteuk had began to stimulate things elsewhere, as he stroked his and Heechul’s increasingly harder lengths, pressing them tightly together and jerking vigorously. Leeteuk's cock and hand created a burning friction as they surrounded Heechul’s cock, and it was almost more than he could bear. He growled and pulled harder on Leeteuk's hair. Heechul thrusted with his hips, enough to create an intoxicating sensation for both of the men. Their moans and heavy breaths escaped and were lost into each others mouths, making for an even more sexually driven kiss.

        “Okay you win,” said Heechul abruptly. “I can’t wait any longer. I am going to pound the absolute fuck out of you. Turn around.” Victorious, Leeteuk quickly obeyed, and Heechul pushed him face down with his ass in the air, held up by his knees. Swiftly reaching for the bottle of lube, Heechul squeezed out a generous amount to make things as smooth as possible.

        “I’m gonna go slow, ok? I don’t want to hurt you.” The reassuring words and tone were unlike anything he had ever heard Heechul say before, and it brought relief to Leeteuk. He felt Heechul place a small kiss on his mid back. He nodded yes to reiterate his consent.

        “Okay,” Heechul.

         He rubbed the head of his cock against the soft, pink entrance spread before him before applying a penetrative force. He pushed slowly, and stopped when the head was fully buried into Leeteuk’s tight hole. Heechul silently threw his head back, in complete bliss. Leeteuk was uncomfortable at this point, but the pain lessened with each moment Heechul remained still before continuing. Heechul pushed more until half his dick had disappeared into Leeteuk. His hole was so tight, and Heechul could feel the walls of Leeteuk's insides stretch around his cock, applying great pressure from all sides, periodically tightening and then relaxing. Heechul's eyes rolled back and he winced as if he were in pain, trying incredibly hard to exercise the self control that he felt was waning. Face down on the bed, Leeteuk reached his arms above his head to stretch. Heechul could see all of the muscles in his back, shoulders and triceps contract and ripple and boy did the sight of this man in particular, bent over and spread open just for Heechul turn him on. Unable to wait any longer, Heechul steadily thrust forward until he was balls deep inside the man. Surprisingly, Leeteuk did not cry out in pain, or burst into tears. The pain was over for Leeteuk, and it was far less uncomfortable than he had anticipated. In fact, as Heechul had inserted himself deeper, he felt the man’s throbbingly big and hard length squeeze past his prostate, and Leeteuk let out a long exhaled groan of deep, core-gripping sexual satisfaction. It wasn’t long before Heechul began slow, shallow strokes in and out, every movement just enough to tease, and tickle Leeteuk’s g spot.

         “Heenim-ah, fuuuckkk me harder,” Leeteuk pled. Heechul smirked at the sound of his name being moaned in pleasure by Super Junior’s leader, who either forgot to control his volume, or just didn’t care anymore. Instead of immediately complying with Leeteuk’s begs, Heechul adjusted his angle and went a bit deeper, knowing he was repeatedly hitting that spot. Heechul watched his every thrust send shivers rippling down Leeteuk’s spine, making his back muscles quiver. With each thrust growing in intensity and frequency, Leeteuk relished the burning friction of Heechul's hot and hard cock rubbing against his swelling prostate. Up, down, back, forth, in, out. The sensation was insatiable and Leeteuk wailed and squirmed in frustration.

          Heechul pulled out and abruptly turned Leeteuk so that he was on his back, in one fluid twist of his shoulders.

         “I wanna see your face as I fuck you Jungsoo-ah.” The informal words that would normally be seen as disrespectful to use towards your hyung sent a different kind of sexual rush through Leeteuk’s body. Something about the fact that Heechul didn't give a damn about any of that in this exact moment was thrilling to Leeteuk. Heechul was very sensitive towards even the subtlest of sexual turn ons for his partners, so he picked up on this. He let more of his albeit not hugely substantial weight fall onto the older man and they felt their sweaty skin stick to each other, feeling each other's lungs expand and contract with heavy breathing. Heechul leaned down to kiss Leeteuk's neck with his wet, hungry lips, while slowly reinserting himself, ensuring that they both feel Heechul's length enter Leeteuk, inch by inch. Leeteuk's body shuddered in uncontrollable jerks of pleasure when Heechul reached his prostate once again.

          “You like it when I put my dick in your ass?” Heechul teased.

          “Yes, oh fuck yes Heenim, I love it when you fuck me,” Leeteuk replied immediately.

           Heechul changed to a slower pace, but each thrust was as hard and powerful as he could. The feeling of repeatedly and completely penetrating Leeteuk brought them both to an uncontrollable climax. Heechul’s head rested to the side of Leeteuk head, by his neck and shoulders, and Leeteuk felt his each and every laboured breath. He quickened his pace, and Leeteuk could hold back no longer. With a series of loud moans and curses, he wrapped his legs around Heechul's back. Sensing that Leeteuk was close, Heechul spit on his hand and reached down to firmly grasp Leeteuk’s cock, while continuing to fuck him senseless. This startled Leeteuk and sent a jolt of adrenaline coursing through his bloodstream. “I'm gonna...fu...cking-” but Leeteuk never finished his sentence.

            A cascade of deep, all consuming ecstasy claimed his entire being as he came onto the man above him. Heechul smiled and stopped his thrusting. He leaned back down, bringing his cum covered hand up, and Leeteuk watched as he sucked the fluid off his fingers.

           “Seeing you cum is so fucking hot,” Heechul whispered. “I'm gonna cum so deep inside you Jungsoo-ah.”

           “Cum inside me, I want your cum, please,” Leeteuk begged. With a deep exhale, Heechul immediately picked up where he left off. This time, he didn't hold anything back, and let his inner aggression come to the surface. Leeteuk felt Heechul shaking. He growled and, with a final earth shattering thrust, came deep inside Leeteuk.

             Completely exhausted, Heechul collapsed to Leeteuk's side. They quickly fell asleep in each other's arms.

~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        ~        

        

       “Heechul-ah?”

        “I like my name on your lips almost as much as I like them around by cock” Heechul answered. Morning sunlight peeked through the hotel curtain and Leeteuk was resting his head on Heechul’s shoulder and collarbone. He chuckled and put his arm around Heechul's still bare abdomen.

       “Can I ask you something?” Leeteuk continued.

      “You just did,” Heechul replied, his classic sarcastic smirk peeking out.

      “Was last night like, just a one time thing?”

       Immediately becoming serious, Heechul sighed and said “well, it could be… I mean, if that’s what you want… “

      “What, so we can just be sad and think about our time together when we’re lonely at night?” Leeteuk really didn’t know what was going to happen, and he felt himself slip into his anxious tendencies as he tried to plan for the future.

       “Hey, I’m not saying that’s what I want!” Heechul exclaimed. “I’m just saying, if you don’t want this to happen again, it doesn’t have to.”

        Heechul noticed the leader’s uncertainty and anxiety peeking out from his ever cheerful disposition. Trying to reach a compromise that required no commitment or pressure, Heechul said “Ok, how about this: when you feel lonely at night, like you said, call me, and I’ll be there. And we’ll figure out the rest as we go. How about that?” He looked down at the man resting on his chest.

        Leeteuk smiled.“That sounds perfect” he agreed.

       Heechul paused as he began to reflect on their past. “I just wish we had done this sooner,” he said, with a wary note of regret for lost time. Leeteuk paused, and   turned to meet Heechul’s eyes before saying, “well… I guess it’s better late than never.”

 

 

 

 

Epilogue:

        Kyuhyun was a man of the night. He enjoyed the peace and quiet that accompanied the world shrouded in darkness. He often had his best ideas and deepest thoughts during his night time strolls, and this day was no different. Kyuhyun laid on his hotel bed, rotating his phone around in his hands. Despite being a very busy day, he knew he wasn't falling asleep anytime soon. Frustrated, he hopped off the bed and left the room. Maybe he could hang out in Yesung’s room. Always doing a million things at once, the fellow main singer was a reliable source of entertainment.

        The hallway was dimly lit, and Kyuhyun quickly padded down the carpeted floor, barefoot. He was just about to turn the corner when he heard something. It sounded like groaning, like someone was in pain. He froze in his tracks. Slowly retracing his steps, he listened for the sounds to direct him, but he didn't have to go far.

        The door he had just passed was cracked open ever so slightly, just enough for light to shine through. Silent as the night itself, he crouched as if to hide his espionage and peered in, and what he saw surprised him. Stood in the middle of the room were two figures, both unmistakably male, wrapped in a tight embrace. He smiled as a wave of nostalgia crashed over him, remembering the nights he and Heechul had spent together when they were just rookies. He was just about to step away and give the two their privacy when one of the men shifted so that the moonlight behind him revealed his identity. Kyuhyun did a double take, but his eyes had not deceived him; it was Leeteuk. His mouth actually opened in disbelief.

        Kyuhyun watched the silhouette of his hyung move and grasp at the other man. He couldn't believe that Leeteuk, of all members, was one of the ones that messed around with men. But who was this mystery man? Kyuhyun, being the sly maknae that he was, just had to find out. Who would come to this hotel this late at night for Leeteuk? He then realized that he had skipped over the most likely culprit of all: one of the other members. Just as he had the sinking realization of which member was most probable, the two moved so that the mystery man's face was bathed in the moonlight.

       He didn't want to believe it, but his immediate instinct was right; there he was, Kim Heechul in all his milky white glory, clearly and passionately making out with Super Junior’s leader.

        Kyuhyun’s heart raced, and in a quick heartbeat, his face was flushed bright red. He watched the younger man whisper something into Leeteuk’s ear, and saw him nod vigorously. Heechul began to rub the man's crotch and that was it for Kyuhyun. How long had he been watching them? Did anyone notice? These thoughts danced in the back of his mind, but his attention was focused elsewhere; for some reason, he felt such a deep sadness.

         He ran back to his room.

        What was wrong with him? This kind of thing was fairly common among the members of Super Junior, and they all knew it. He quickly but silently closed and locked the door behind him before climbing into bed and curling into the fetal position. He felt so… hurt. He replayed the image of Heechul passionately kissing and touching Leeteuk and the tears he didn't realize he was holding in finally ran down his face. All of the memories of the passion filled nights he spent with Heechul so many years ago came at him and felt like a dagger in his back. He couldn't admit it to himself, not yet, but the truth was, Kyuhyun was jealous of Leeteuk. He cried himself to sleep that night, and he dreamt of Heechul.

 

 

TO BE CONTINUED