Finn’s hands are sweating. That’s not what he wants, right now. Right now when the woman who captured his heart against his better judgement is standing there with the final rose.
“Dani, gentlemen,” Poe Dameron’s smooth voice says as he leans in close to Dani, "this is the final rose tonight.”
Finn sucks in a breath. He knew that. They all know that. But Poe says it every time. And he has for nearly twenty seasons of this show. Finn wonders vaguely if Poe wants to get out of this, or if he’s under contract for the duration of the show, or his own life.
Dani’s eyes move between Finn, in his dull grey suit that the producers talked him into, with only a purple tie and pocket square for color, and Ryan in his sophisticated black-on-black suit and tie.
She’s taking a long time. Even if he is chosen, this isn’t good for him. That means she’s not sure which one of them she wants. That would mean that Finn is just as good, or as bad, as Ryan.
He doesn’t like Ryan. Never did.
His fingers curl against his palm.
At last her mouth opens.
“Ryan,” she says and Ryan grins that dumb grin of his and walks toward her with his dumb swagger.
That’s it. Finn’s heart is in his throat and it hurts and he’s disappointed and also kind of relieved and he doesn’t listen to anything she says to Ryan, but she’s smiling and Ryan is smiling and Finn is going home.
And no one is surprised that the final three are white men.
Finn comes back to himself when Poe says his name. “Finn, I’m sorry,” he says quietly, and genuinely sounds regretful, like he somehow always manages to even after all this time, “it’s time to go home. I’ll give you a moment to say your goodbyes.” And there’s Dani’s eyes on him, dark and actually sad as she starts toward him, mouthing his name. One of the other men, Mason, grips his shoulder and Finn squeezes his hand before he moves to meet Dani. Her arms are around him and he regretfully hugs her for what’s probably the last time. She’s beautiful, there’s no doubt about that. She’s beautiful and smart and successful and kind, mostly, and Finn could see himself being with her for a long time, if not marrying her, but she just chose three generic white men over him and his baggage and somehow he can’t blame her for that. He hugs her back tightly, breathing in her scent for the last time.
“I’m sorry,” she breathes into his shoulder, and at least, her eyes are wet and her voice is shaking, and she’s wrinkling the back of his jacket just over where the mic is tucked against the small of his back. “I, I just, I know you showed me,” she sucks in a breath, pulls back to look up at him with red eyes and wobbling lips, “all that, and you’re so incredible and I wanted this to be with you but I just. I couldn’t, I didn’t feel…”
“It’s okay,” he says softly, giving her a tiny flicker of a smile. “I understand. I, I want you to be happy.” He pulls back because she’s crying and that’s going to make him cry and even though he believes completely in being an emotional person he doesn’t want his tears to be broadcast on national television. “Thank you. For everything.” His hands slip into hers and he grips them one more time before letting go.
“Finn,” she says, desperate and still shaking, but she’s said everything she needs to, and they both know it. If the feelings aren’t there, they aren’t there, and just because they’ve been on the same page for so long about so many things, just because whenever they’re together everything is warm and calm and good, doesn’t mean it’s not the same with the three guys in black suits who look identical standing there with roses in their pockets.
Dani swallows and takes a step back, shaking her head. “I-- I hope you find who you’re looking for.”
“I hope you do too,” he says gently. He looks into her eyes for one more second before he turns to Poe, off camera, and nods. Then he waves to the other three guys, who he never really got along with, and follows the gesture of one of the stage hands to leave the area.
Waiting for the interviews before he’s allowed to go anywhere else is always the hardest part of this, but at least Poe is pretty quick to show up, all things considered.
He walks up to Finn with a camera man trailing behind him, still looking TV-ready in his suit with his curls pressed back against his head and a sad little smile that he looks like he means.
“Hey,” he greets Finn quietly. “Can I sit?”
Finn gestures at the chair, as if he has a choice, “be my guest.”
Poe offers him a tiny smile and sinks gracefully into the chair. The cameras on are on-- they’re always on-- and Poe is turned toward him, watching quietly with his hands folded in his lap. “That was rough,” he says, instead of asking Finn how he’s feeling like most of the interviews.
Finn clasps his hands in front of himself and shrugs slightly, “but not unexpected.”
Poe’s brows go up. “No? You thought after this week, you’d go home?”
“I hoped I wouldn’t go home, of course, but it’s not a stretch to say that my hometown is a little unconventional,” Finn gives him a tiny smile. Poe smiles back, warm and soft, and shifts a little until he’s entirely facing Finn.
“So because of that, you went into this week thinking you might go home? It’s not out of left-field for you.”
Finn nods, glancing down at his hands. “Nah, not really. Dani’s… wonderful. She’s everything I could want, but I don’t think I’m that person for her. And that’s alright. This has been an enlightening,” he pauses slightly, a tiny smile on his face as he looks back at Poe, “experience. And I wish her all the best with whoever she chooses. Personally, I hope it’s Kevin.”
Poe’s eyes crinkle up at the corners, like he’s about to laugh but holds it down, tamping down on his grin. “Noted, buddy. Well, I’m not just saying this: I’m really sorry to see you go home, and I’m glad you got to come this far on the journey,” he presses into the syllables of the word just a little, eyes glittering like it’s a personal joke between the two of them, “with us.”
The dead weight on Finn’s heart lifts a little and he sits up straighter, “thanks, really. I definitely never went to Cambodia before this. That’s something I’ll never forget.”
“We do try to provide at least a couple memorable experiences.” Poe tilts his head, watching Finn quietly for a few moments. “What are you going to do after this? I mean, obviously we’ll bring you back for the reunion show, but in the meantime? Any plans? Can you think that far ahead yet without Dani in the picture?”
“Well, after this I kinda need to find another job,” Finn wrinkles his nose and sighs, “and I need to go get my cat from Slip, my best friend-- I know that’s not at all what you’re asking for, but I really can’t wait to see Sarg again.”
“I’m asking for whatever you feel like talking about,” Poe assures him. “No pressure right now. It’s been a hard enough night, huh? You seem pretty, well, more put-together than a lot of people at this stage.”
“It’ll come,” Finn agrees softly, “I’m riding the adrenaline and shock first. Then I’ll have the sadness and need to watch terrible romance movies followed by something horrible and violent like WWE. But at least I’ll have Sarg with me while I do that. She’s a great life coach. She sits on me until I feel better."
Poe snorts and shoves a hand over his mouth, glancing up at Finn with those laugh lines still there. “Sounds effective. I gotta try that sometime. Also, if you’re in the mood for terrible romance, I’ve got a few recommendations I know are great for moving feelings through. If you need it.”
“I’d love that,” Finn says and not for the first time he admires just how handsome Poe Dameron is in his understated suit and his hair graying around the sides, his dark brown eyes fixed on Finn. “Yeah, I really would. Wow, uh, you’re really good at your job, you know that, right?”
Poe’s answering laughter is very soft. “Thanks. That’s good to hear. I have been doing it for a long time, and I haven’t stopped loving it. So you think you’re gonna be alright?”
“Yeah, I think I will be. I know there’s someone out there for me. They just might be a little harder to find,” Finn smiles and he knows it looks weak on his face. Poe’s own warm host-smile drops into something smaller, quieter. He shifts closer to Finn, turning until their knees brush through their slacks.
His eyes are locked on Finn’s.
“There’s someone out there for everyone. No matter what. And you’ll find that person, or that person will find you.”
“You really believe that,” Finn breathes, and he only realizes a second later how accusatory that can sound. “I mean, that’s great. I wish I had your faith.”
Poe’s smile widens, and, strangely, a bit of a flush rises in his cheeks. He doesn’t look away from Finn. “You don’t have to have it, though, long as we do. That’s my real job: to find that person. And if anyone here deserves to have that happen for them, it’s you.”
Finn stares at him for a second, his jaw fallen slack. “Oh,” he says at last, when he realizes that he’s been sitting there dumbly for at least half a minute. “Thanks. But it’s… it’s over. I’m not Dani’s person.”
Then Poe’s brown eyes are glittering again. “It doesn’t have to be over, you know. Tonight, yeah, I’ll leave you to get your stuff and get back to Sarg, but-- keep an ear out, yeah?”
That can’t mean what it sounds like, can it? Finn blinks at him and nods. “Yeah, I will. Thanks, Poe,” Finn holds out his hand. Poe’s fingers curl warmly into his—he has a textbook-perfect handshake, warm and firm and not too long or too short, and he squeezes Finn’s hand just a little before he lets go.
Home doesn’t happen right away.
Instead, Finn finds himself in Poe’s hotel room pressed up against the wall with Poe’s teeth biting his throat. He moans, sinking lower, his hands under Poe’s suit jacket, grabbing at his hips.
This is not how he expected this night to go.
It’s a rebound. It’s stupid. It’s impulsive. But Finn is never impulsive. Everything is thought out. Everything is planned. Until this show. Until falling for Dani. Until agreeing to a private drink with Poe. Until accepting everything Poe was offering him.
It feels perfect, letting go like this. It’s freeing, to not have the cameras around for the first time in literally months. He hooks a calf behind Poe’s legs and thrusts against him, desperate to feel, desperate to forget, for now, everything waiting for him.
No. None of that is as important as the way Poe’s tongue slides over his collarbone and how his teeth sink into the muscle of Finn’s shoulder. It’s not as important as the hard press of Poe’s cock against his hip. Right now, that’s all he needs.
And Poe’s clearly happy to give it all to him: perfect, untouchable Poe in his constantly-unbuttoned shirts, who from the beginning slung his arms around Finn’s shoulder to make sure he was okay, hugged him after rose ceremonies when he got to stay, and who now is groaning against Finn’s shoulder, his voice a little rougher when he’s not smoothing things over for the cameras. Poe, whose job it is to talk and sound good and look good, who’s murmuring things against his skin that Finn can’t understand as he slips his hands down Finn’s sides.
Finn wonders vaguely if Poe does this with a lot of the men.
It doesn’t matter. They’ll probably never see each other again after this.
Finn pushes his hand into Poe’s hair, beautifully soft even with whatever product he uses to make it perfect for the camera. His hips keep moving in short thrusts, up against Poe’s stomach and he wants, more than he wanted with Dani. But that was love. This is lust.
“Want,” Poe gasps, and then doesn’t finish his sentence, distracted by leaning up to seal their lips together again. He shoves his hands up under Finn’s nice dress shirt, wrinkling all the hard work that was put into getting him crisp and perfect that morning.
“Tell me,” Finn breathes, leaning up into Poe’s hands. They’re rough, calloused, and drag over Finn’s skin.
Laughing, Poe lifts his head. His eyes are dark and his lips are swollen with kisses, his hair everywhere from Finn’s fingers. “Want to suck your dick, if that’s alright with you.”
“Oh. Yes,” Finn breathes, staring at him with his cheeks flushed. “That’s very alright.”
Poe flashes him a grin, darts in for a kiss, and sinks slowly down in front of Finn to shove up his shirt. He keeps his eyes locked on Finn’s as he leans forward to press a quick, fluttering line of kisses along his belly. Finn’s breath hitches, stomach twitching under Poe’s lips. Poe’s eyes burn into him and Finn feels his cock grow harder with the promise in them.
Finn’s fingers slowly press into Poe’s hair, pushing it away from his face. Poe’s eyelashes flutter a bit, his breath catching as he flicks open Finn’s slacks one handed, then shoves them down his thighs, underwear and all, with a tiny breathless laugh. Finn’s cock bobs up against his stomach and his breath catches.
Ten weeks of dating the same woman as 24 other men makes it difficult to satisfy any needs he has. And now Poe is kneeling in front of him, with the promise of those beautiful lips wrapping around his cock.
“Please,” Finn breathes.
“Oh yeah?” Poe grins up at him, his eyes dark and hot as he leans in to press a slow, teasing kiss to the seam of Finn’s thigh. Finn’s cock brushes his cheek as he does, so close, and then before Finn can move or ask again, Poe slides his lips around the head in one smooth movement. Finn’s entire body twitches, knees weak. He leans back against the wall and grips Poe’s hair tight, before he remembers to loosen his grip again.
“Shit. Yes,” he gasps, thrusting shallowly into his mouth. Poe groans low around him and it vibrates through all of Finn. His hands slip up the backs of Finn’s thighs, trailing slowly in contrast with the quick wet curl of his tongue around the head of Finn’s cock.
“Yes, yes,” Finn says without quite realizing it. His eyes are half-lidded and he watches Poe, chest heaving steadily. Poe’s eyes curve up, crinkling at the corners as he opens his mouth and shoves at Finn’s ass until his cock slides along the flat of his tongue.
Finn’s eyes flicker shut for a moment, just feeling. Poe’s mouth is hot and wet and it’s all he can feel right now. Pleasure curls through him, hot and sweet and it’s been so long. So long since he fucked anyone (so much longer than the last ten weeks) and even longer since he was with a man.
And Poe knows what he’s doing with his mouth, to that: he moves his head in time with the tiny thrusts of Finn’s hips and wraps his tongue in a wicked curl around the head of his cock when he pulls out, groaning when he thrusts back in, urged on by Poe’s hands on him. It’s a little rough, but Poe moans even louder because of it, shoving forward until Finn’s cock nudges the back of his throat.
Finn’s voice runs away with him in breathing moans and he’s holding onto Poe’s hair as a lifeline. He’s thrusting hard now and his gut curls hot, muscles tensing and thrusting and he wants, wants, wants.
“Stop,” he gasps, yanking on Poe’s hair.
Poe pulls off him immediately with a wet gasp, head falling back. “You,” he breathes, eyes fluttering a bit as he catches his breath, “You okay?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Finn tells him, petting back his hair back, “I’m good. Just was, was gonna come. Fuck,” his head hits the wall, breathing hard.
With a tiny smile, Poe drops a kiss to the tip of his cock, laughter washing over Finn’s skin. “That’s fine, y’know. Kinda the point here.”
“I wasn’t ready yet,” Finn argues and tugs on his hair, “I, I want you to fuck me.”
Poe sucks in a sharp breath, letting his head fall back into Finn’s hand. His eyelashes flutter a bit before he focuses on Finn’s face, lips parted. “I think we can make that happen.”
“Yeah? You think?” Finn laughs and he leans down to slip his lips over Poe’s. It’s messy and wet, but Finn just wants to be close to him right now. He feels like he hasn’t had any authentic human contact in months.
“I’m pretty sure,” Poe breathes with a small smile, chasing after Finn’s lips. He shoves himself unsteadily to his feet, still in his rumpled suit from the last shoot of the day, and leans on Finn until he’s plastered to the wall again. Slowly, Poe trails a line of wet kisses up Finn’s throat, up to the shell of his ear. “May wanna move, though. Dunno about you but I’ve had enough of standing today.”
“Yeah,” Finn agrees, but he doesn’t move, his hands slipping around Poe to squeeze his ass. His lips quirk. “God, I’ve wanted to touch your butt for weeks. It’s beautiful.”
Swaying pointedly back into his hands, Poe grins and loops his arms around Finn’s shoulders. “Good. I do a lot of squats to maintain this butt.” Then he laughs and pushes a loose kiss against Finn’s lips. Finn can taste himself there. “That was a lie. It’s genetic.”
“I wondered,” Finn breathes and he nudges Poe backward, then kicks off his slacks, and his shoes with them. Stumbling, he pushes Poe toward the massive bed.
“A hundred percent genetics,” Poe says almost cheerfully, still kissing along Finn’s throat until he tumbles onto the mattress, pulling Finn with him. “My parents were both known for their incredible butts. Pretty sure it got me my job.”
“Well, either way,” Finn crawls up over him, straddling his hips, “it’s deserved. I, we probably shouldn’t talk about that. But thanks.”
Poe’s eyes flash as he yanks Finn down. “We don’t have to talk about anything, really,” he breathes against Finn’s mouth, sliding both hands down his spine to grab at his ass again.
“Right,” Finn agrees on a breath, and kisses Poe instead. This isn’t for his emotions. This is purely physical, Poe and him and the bed, probably for the next hour and then he’ll leave and go home and reunite with Sarg and Slip.
At least he has right now.
Poe makes it easy to focus only on him, kissing him hard and fast as he shoves at Finn’s shirt, pushing it up as far as he can get it before giving up and undoing the buttons. At the same time, his tongue slides along Finn’s lips followed by the sharp scrape of teeth.
Finn lets the shirt fall off his shoulders. He is completely bare, aside from his socks, and Poe is fully clothed beneath him. A thrill runs down into his belly.
“You’re gorgeous,” Poe breathes, letting his hands run back up Finn’s sides to wrap around his shoulders and tug him down into a wet, messy kiss. Finn can’t think of a response, only kissing Poe and clumsily unbuttoning Poe’s shirt. The hair on his chest is soft and Finn wants to run his hands through it, so he does, enjoying the muscles he feels under Poe’s tan skin.
Poe arches up under his hands with a quiet sigh, pressed into his mouth. It’s so easy to kiss him like this, for Poe to lean up into Finn and push kisses along his throat, lingering at a few spots that make him shiver. Poe’s always so put-together on the show, always with his hair perfect and a rose in his pocket and an easy, sympathetic smile for the people and for the cameras. Like this, he’s almost like a different person: biting sharply at Finn’s shoulder and then soothing it away again with the flat of his tongue, his heels braced on the bed so that Finn is held in place by Poe’s thighs, still covered in soft, crisp fabric.
Finn gets lost in him, kissing Poe deeply until his cock brushes Poe’s stomach and he’s reminded exactly what he wanted.
“Do you, do you have lube?” Finn asks on a breath.
“Gotta keep myself entertained somehow,” Poe snorts, chasing him into another kiss before he pulls away and stretches out to the side, reaching for the little table next to his bed. With Finn still on top of him, he can’t reach, and gives up with a huffing laugh. “Top drawer. It’s up t’you now.”
With a quick grin, Finn crawls up over him, touching Poe as much as he can before he stretches his hand out and catches the drawer. Poe’s face is pressed into his chest.
“Hah,” he grabs the bottle and rolls back, holding it up triumphantly.
He wonders what Dani would think if she could see him now.
“You,” Poe declares breathlessly and with entirely too much seriousness, “are a damn hero, Finn Williams.” The little bottle is more than half-empty, which-- says a lot, coupled with the grin slowly growing on Poe’s face as he steals it from Finn’s hands.
“Then it’s time to celebrate my achievement, huh?” Finn jokes, grinning down at him. His hands pet down Poe’s chest. Smiling sweetly, Poe leans up to kiss him and flicks open the bottle at the same time, letting lube spill messily over his fingers.
“If you want to be a real hero,” he breathes against Finn’s mouth, sliding his slick hand over Finn’s hip to his ass, “you’ll go back in there and grab a condom.”
“Right,” Finn agrees, kissing him quick before he rolls off of Poe, but tries to catch him with his feet and pull Poe with him. Reaching out, he snags the drawer again and searches around for a condom. Those are a little more well-hidden, behind some things in the back of the drawer, but Finn manages to find them after a moment.
He holds them up triumphantly, pressing his heels into Poe’s ass. Laughing, Poe drops a quick kiss against his mouth. “So brave,” he breathes, and slips one slick finger between Finn’s thighs to trace over his balls, down, until he’s just pressing against his ass, “so talented.”
Finn laughs breathlessly and grasps Poe’s head, tugging him down into another deep kiss, Finn’s tongue pushing between Poe’s lips. Poe smiles through the whole thing as he presses his index finger, still a little cold, into Finn with a tiny twist. “Okay?” He breathes, pulling back just a bit to see Finn’s face.
“Yeah, yeah,” Finn smiles up at him, letting his thighs fall apart, “it’s good.”
“Good,” Poe breathes, low and rough, and nips at his lower lip before sliding his mouth over to Finn’s ear. He’s all sharp teeth and wet kisses and the air is just cold enough to raise goosebumps on Finn’s skin in the wake of his mouth. He keeps the movement of his hand just slow enough to be purposefully teasing. It sends shivers over Finn’s skin and he shifts underneath Poe. It’s been too long, and Finn holds onto him tightly.
Poe’s other hand stays steady, sliding warmly up Finn’s ribs and down again so he can rub a thumb over Finn’s hip. He pushes a biting kiss under Finn’s chin and presses in one more finger, slow and soft and then curling.
“Yes,” Finn says again, shifting his hips to thrust against Poe’s fingers. He lets his head fall back and blunt nails drag over Poe’s shoulders.
“Yeah?” Poe laughs, like maybe he’s laughing at Finn, only then he slips his hand over to Finn’s cock and wraps his fist around it as his fingers twist inside him.
Finn gasps and thrusts up into his hand. He grins at Poe and shoves at his head, “don’t laugh at me.”
“Who’s laughing at you?” Poe says through a grin, leaning into Finn’s hand with a tiny hitch in his breath. He’s got three fingers in Finn, now, spreading him open slow and steady. His thumb drags over the tip of Finn’s cock.
“You are,” Finn tells him and fists his hand in Poe’s hair. He’s moving in tiny bursts, forcing Poe’s fingers deeper into him, “what, what’s funny about this?”
“I am having fun,” Poe says with that same laughter in his voice. It slips into a moan as Finn grabs his hair, the even rhythm of his hand on Finn’s cock faltering a bit. He groans breathlessly as he twists his fingers deep. “Also, I—shit, I forgot to get my pants off and I need your help.”
“Ah,” Finn rolls himself up, trying not to force Poe to slip his fingers out of him. They feel good, warm and calloused inside of him. He grabs at Poe’s belt and yanks him forward. Somehow, through flexibility that really shouldn’t be possible, Poe manages to keep his fingers in place even as he’s tugged closer. He’s still laughing and smears a smiling kiss over Finn’s lips.
“I’ll do my best,” Finn mumbles against his lips, hands sliding down over Poe’s clothed cock. Moaning softly, he squeezes, tracing the outline before he tugs Poe’s belt open. Poe groans, his head falling into the crook of Finn’s shoulder as Finn works the pants down his hips.
As soon as they’re down to his knees, Finn slides his hands back up and cups Poe’s cock, then strokes it slowly and easy. Poe groans against him and lifts his head to kiss Finn again, swaying into his hands. His fingers, stilled, pick up again, curling and spreading apart, quicker now. Finn feeds a moan into his mouth and shifts just enough that Poe’s fingers skim over his prostate. His heels dig into Poe’s ass and he falls back, “fuck. Fuck.”
“There?” Poe’s voice is breathless, now, soft and feathery against Finn’s skin. He presses his fingers up again, searching after that same spot, and once he finds it, stays there.
Pleasure spikes through him and Finn wraps himself around Poe, arms strong behind Poe’s shoulders, “yes, Poe, yeah, there.” With a soft, fluid curse, Poe curls his fingers up into Finn’s prostate, moving with the thrust of his hips so every time Finn rocks down, pleasure bursts up his spine.
“I want,” Finn manages to say, lost in the movements on their bodies, “I want you. C’mon, I’m prepped.”
“Can do,” Poe gasps against his mouth, shoving his fingers into Finn one more time before he slips them free with a wet sound. He pulls back, breathing coming quick and sharp. “Where’d the thing, the condom go?”
Finn reaches his hand out blindly and snatches it from the bed. Tearing it open with his teeth, Finn hands it to Poe, “how, uh, should I stay like this?”
“However you want,” Poe tells him with a slow smile, petting his hand over Finn’s ass and along his thigh. Finn grins back breathlessly and shifts up, pushing at Poe’s chest.
“Get the condom on.”
Poe’s brows shoot up as he flops to the side, sprawling out with a grin. “Sir, yes sir,” he teases, eyes glittering. Naturally, just to be distracting, he makes a show of it, teasing the latex slowly down over his cock with a soft sigh.
Finn rolls his eyes and shifts over him so he’s straddling Poe again. Taking the lube, the pours some onto his hand and works it over Poe’s cock. His eyes trail down Poe’s bare form, over the hard muscles of his chest and stomach, down to his cock and thighs. He wants to kiss Poe everywhere. He wonders if they could have a second round where he could. Finn doesn’t have anywhere else to be tonight and Poe’s schedule has always been something of a mystery to anyone. He seems to appear and disappear at will.
Now, though, all his focus is on Finn and his hands are everywhere: Finn’s thighs and his ribs and his hips, around to squeeze at his butt as Finn pulls his hand away. “Damn,” he breathes. “You’re pretty spectacular.”
Laughing, Finn ducks his head and shifts forward until his ass is just over Poe’s cock, “and you’re, you’re amazing,” Finn breathes and sketches his hands down Poe’s chest. Meeting Poe’s eyes, he asks, “ready?”
Poe’s eyes are dark, locked on him with laser focus. “So ready,” he breathes, hips twitching under Finn. He wraps a hand around his cock to steady himself for Finn, trailing soft fingers up his chest and down to curl around Finn’s cock, too, like he can’t resist touching.
Finn flashes him a grin and braces his hands on Poe’s chest as he eases down onto Poe’s cock. He pauses when the head slips inside him, letting his eyes fall shut. Poe is hot and hard inside of him, easing him wide open. He was so thorough in prepping Finn that there’s only a bit of a sting, more from the time since Finn’s done this than anything else.
Poe’s eyes are still locked on him, his breath stuck in his throat. He’s biting hard at his lips and the hand not curled around himself is braced in the sheets again, digging in to steady himself.
Letting out a long breath, Finn keeps going until his ass presses against Poe’s hips. A shudder wracks through him and his hands clench on Poe’s chest, eyes falling shut. He takes two steadying breaths, then glances up at Poe’s face. His eyes are dark and there’s a flush on his cheeks, his lips parted as he stares up at Finn. “Fuck,” he breathes, voice low and soft. He shifts his hands to Finn’s hips, clutching tight.
Finn stays still for a long moment, just breathing and looking straight into Poe’s eyes. Then a smile slowly stretches over his lips.
Hands braced on Poe’s chest, he lifts his hips, feeling Poe’s cock drag inside of him, hot and hard.
“You are amazing,” Poe breathes, and his voice is nothing like the one he uses for the camera: it’s low and warm and melting, and he jerks up to meet Finn as he rocks back down. Finn gasps, pleasure shocking quick and sharp through him. He drags his hips up again to feel Poe inside of him, and thrusts down, setting a steady pace between them.
“You feel amazing,” he breathes, reaching forward to push his hands back into Poe’s hair. Groaning, Poe arches into his hands with a soft curse. His palms slide over Finn’s ass, squeezing tight as Finn moves.
“This whole time,” Poe says, and then lapses into Spanish too quick for Finn to catch and shot through with breath besides.
“This whole time?” Finn asks, what little Spanish he knows gone completely from his mind, along with most other things except for the heat of Poe’s body underneath him, the grip of his fingers, the slide of his cock inside of him. The hotel bed creaks and the sheets shift, crinkling underneath them, and Poe is warm and close. His hands slide up Finn’s back and down again, along his thighs, petting everywhere.
Poe starts again as he rocks up into Finn with a smile forgotten on his lips, his voice dropped so it stays in the damp space between them. “I’ve been thinking about this,” he says, eyes bright, and rocks up into Finn hard enough that it takes his hips off the bed.
That shocks a sound out of Finn, quick and loud and his hands grip Poe’s hair tight. “Oh fuck,” he breathes, thrusting down onto Poe’s cock.
Only after a few moments do Poe’s words catch up with him. “Wait, you, you were? You thought about me?”
Poe’s ears are flushed dark, red between the sweat-damp curls plastered to his cheeks and spread out between Finn’s fingers. “I couldn’t stop,” he breathes, and does it again with a tiny gasp of his own, shoving his head back against Finn’s palms.
“This,” Finn starts, but then Poe’s cock hits his prostate and his head falls back, breath caught in his throat. Bearing down, he tries to get Poe to hit it again and again. He lets go on Poe’s hair to sit up, grasping onto Poe’s thighs behind him. With a sharp gasp Poe rocks his hips up and Finn can feel the movement through all of him.
“There?” Poe breathes, low and intent, and wraps a hand around Finn’s cock, moving in counterpoint to the steady rhythm.
“Oh my god,” Finn gasps, his thighs straining, hips moving, taking Poe’s cock deeper. His head falls back, jaw slack as he just feels. Feels Poe moving inside of him, his hand on Finn’s cock. Poe’s breath is coming short and sharp and his other hand is braced on Finn’s ass, squeezing, helping him move. His thumb slides over the tip of Finn’s cock, pressing as he thrusts up. Gasping, Finn’s fingers dig into Poe’s thighs. His thighs work, aching desperately, eyes half shut as he bounces on top of Poe. His whole body thrums with pleasure and a moan feeds loud into the room.
Poe’s voice rises up under him, first in English, and then into Spanish and then it’s just Finn’s name over and over like a prayer. His hand twists around Finn’s cock, just tight enough that every time Finn thrusts up he’s moving into Poe’s hand so there’s sensation from every angle.
Keening, Finn tries to move faster, but his thighs are giving out, the exhaustion from the day finally catching up with him. “Poe, Poe,” he says, dropping forward, hands landing back on Poe’s chest, hips still moving in tiny thrusts. “Fuck, I need, turn over.”
“Yeah?” Poe stills under him, barely, his eyes wide and dark. Both his hands slip to Finn’s thighs, caressing. “We can, here,” he presses at Finn, shifting up onto his elbows. Sweat slides down into the valley between his ribs, shining in the low light from the lamp still on beside them.
Finn shifts up off of Poe’s cock and shoves his lips against Poe’s. Kissing shouldn’t matter here: it’s just a fuck, but Poe’s lips feel so good on his, soft and gentle and earnest, and Poe kisses back with a smile on his lips as they roll over together into the sheets.
“I have an idea,” he murmurs against Finn’s mouth. Fingertips trail down Finn’s side, along his ass to press briefly into him. Finn twitches, pulling his knees up, hands sliding into Poe’s hair. Somehow, he looks even more beautiful, his hair falling over his eyes, dark brown and watching Finn softly.
He remembers to answer after a moment. “What idea?”
Poe’s grin curves up sweetly and he leans in to push another slow kiss against Finn’s mouth, letting it trail into his words. “You tired of doing all the work? Let me do it.”
“Please,” Finn sighs and wraps his calves around Poe’s hips, heels pressing into his ass. He’s exposed like this, but Poe is so hot and his lips are so sweet that he doesn’t care, and Poe just slides his hands up Finn’s back and down again, clutching at him like he can’t keep his hands off Finn.
“Turn around,” he murmurs, thrusting up against him so his cock slides along Finn’s ass. “Like we’re spooning.”
With a soft sound, Finn nods and drags his feet down Poe’s legs. When they drop, he lets go of Poe’s hair and rolls onto his side. The bed is plush and soft under him, and he presses his cheek into the duvet. An arm slips back and he grips Poe’s hip. “C’mon,” he murmurs, eyes half shut.
“With pleasure,” Poe murmurs, and then he’s pressing back into Finn, hot and hard and slow, as his hand wraps around Finn’s cock again. Finn’s breath hitches and he pushes back, Poe’s cock sliding deeper inside of him. Poe’s whole body is plastered against Finn’s back, and only for a moment does Finn remember the scars crossing his skin, marring his back with light pink. Poe is too close now to see them but he must have when Finn turned over.
Now, though, he brushes a kiss over the back of Finn’s neck and shifts one leg between his thighs so he can move more easily. His fingers drag over Finn’s cock from the tip down the base and back, stroking everywhere in time with the slow roll of his hips.
Finn breathes in time with the thrusts, heat and pleasure clutching at his gut. His hand slides up Poe’s side to press into his hair again, pulling Poe’s head against his throat. His hips hitch back to meet Poe’s thrusts. It’s slow and soft and a little maddening but Poe never lets up, murmuring things into Finn’s skin in between biting kisses that he soothes with his tongue.
“I had,” he says, and his breath washes damply over Finn’s throat, “this thought, during your first group date with all the axes, that all I wanted was to get as close to you as I could, just like this,” he punctuates his words with a sharper thrust, gasping as he leans back into Finn’s hand.
Turning his head as much as he can, he looks at Poe. His heart kicks up and he sucks in a breath. “That long? I, but there were so many guys.”
“Yeah,” Poe breathes, his eyes dark as he moves a little faster now, “but there’s only one of you.”
A small noise escapes Finn and he tugs on Poe’s hair. “Just, just one,” he gasps and spread his legs wider, hitching his thigh back over Poe’s.
“And,” Poe’s voice shakes a little, breathless and high as he moves and fists Finn’s cock a little harder, rocking into him over and over, “that’s what matters here, that it was you, that, that you were there.” It doesn’t make much sense but there’s enough feeling in his voice that maybe it doesn’t have to: Poe’s been thinking about him since practically the beginning.
Finn grips him tighter, wanting to kiss him again. His lips manage to smear over Poe’s forehead as he twists.
He can’t respond, doesn’t have the words to, doesn’t know what the feelings inside of him mean. His gut curls and his hips cant and all there is is heat and the intense focus of Poe’s thrusts. It’s probably more than that, but Finn can’t think about it now.
Instead, he says, “faster,” on a breath, letting his eyes fall shut again.
“Yes sir,” Poe breathes, almost laughing, and complies all at once so that Finn’s world is reduced to Poe’s cock sliding into him and his hand on Finn and the other hand on his chest, pressing him back so they’re flush together and Finn can feel every tiny movement that Poe makes.
Sounds press out of Finn and his head falls back, probably squishing Poe’s face into the mattress, but he’s beyond caring. His body doesn’t feel like his, but instead like the heat between them, like Poe’s teeth sinking into his shoulder, like the persistent, beautiful pace of Poe’s thrusts. His own hand wraps around Poe’s on his cock and he moves them faster, faster, until all of a sudden he freezes, his leg tightening around Poe’s, body pressing back into him, and he comes, hot and fast over his stomach. Poe strokes him somewhat ruthlessly through the rush of stars and heat, keeps it going and drags it out, pressing into Finn in tiny half-thrusts until he chokes out something like Finn’s name, breathless and tiny and high and then Finn can feel the pulse of Poe inside him as he comes back to himself.
With a thin groan, Finn relaxes against him, warm and sticky and satisfied. A tired smile plays on his lips and his fingers tease Poe’s hair again, pushing against his scalp.
He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t want to ruin this spell. He could fall asleep, right here, like this, and pretend that nothing is exceptional about this moment.
Only everything is.
His time on the show is over. Dani chose someone else. And Poe Dameron, once voted the most beautiful man in America, is still inside of him, breathing heavily against his shoulder.
Finn wakes up slowly, rolling over to push his face into the pillow. He’s tired. His body feels heavy, weighing him down, and the bed is so soft and warm that he wants to burrow into it and never come out. A hint of sunlight brushes red over his eyelids and there’s a warm solid presence next to him, pressed up against Finn. He smiles, content and warm and happy.
Slowly, he shifts onto his back, eyes blinking in the light, to see Poe, his hair mussed and curling over his face, expression soft with sleep. Finn’s breath hitches and he reaches out to gently touch Poe’s hair, marveling again at the softness of it. Poe’s eyelashes flutter briefly, like he’s on the edge of wakefulness, but then he only groans and pushes his head into Finn’s hand, curling up so the blankets are wrapped tightly around him.
Finn wants to kiss him. That might just be the leftover endorphins from last night. He’s not sure how late they stayed up, but if the light streaming in is any indication, it must be late morning. He rarely sleeps past six.
Carefully, Finn pulls himself out of the blankets. He’s still naked, and his body aches, down his spine to his hips, his thighs sore.
Somehow, he’s still wearing his socks.
Easing out of bed, Finn plods to the bathroom, only just glancing back at Poe. All he can see is Poe’s hair.
The bathroom is absurdly nice, but so is this whole hotel. It’s not spotless: everywhere there’s evidence that Poe has been staying here for a while. A toothbrush lays half in the sink and a shaving kit with a real brush is scattered across the countertop. It seems apt, especially since Finn’s sure he has beard burn on his face and the back of his neck from Poe’s stubble.
In fact, he looks pretty terrible, he realizes when he finally looks in the mirror. His shoulders are slouched, eyes tired, skin irritated. Despite all of that, a deep contentment seats itself in his gut, and he decides that he and Poe fucked enough last night that he can’t really complain if Finn uses his shower. He strips off the only clothes he has left: his purple dress socks.
The hot water feels perfect over his sore muscles and he lets himself stand there under its stream. He’s given enough to this damn show, he deserves to take this shower on their dime.
He’s not sure how long he stands there before the door opens.
Poe’s form is just visible through the foggy glass—of course, the shower is an actual enclosure, with more than one showerhead, all of which are trained on Finn at the moment—and his laughter echoes through the room. “G’morning,” he calls over the rush of water.
Heat spikes through Finn and it has nothing to do with the water. He smiles and calls back, voice hoarse, “morning. You wanna join me?”
“You have no idea,” Poe yanks open the door with a blast of much colder air. His curls are everywhere, flying around his head like they don’t have to obey the laws of gravity. On the edge of his cheek are creases from where his face was mashed into the pillow, “how much I wanted you to ask that,” he finishes as he slips in beside Finn and closes the door again behind him. Finn laughs and after a moment’s hesitation, his arms are around Poe, pulling him in against Finn and pressing their lips together.
Poe fits easily against him, water running over both of them and sticking his hair to his face. He has terrible morning breath, but so does Finn, and Poe breaks away with a soft snort to lift his face to the water, letting it push his bangs out of his eyes.
“How’d you sleep?” he asks, and kisses Finn again before he gets a chance to answer. Finn sighs against his mouth, arms heavy around Poe’s waist.
“Great,” he murmurs and noses against Poe’s cheek, “you make a great blanket.”
“I knew my mattress was way more comfy than usual,” Poe laughs, and drags Finn’s lower lip between his teeth for a moment. Lazily, he sways into Finn, nudging one knee between his legs so they’re completely plastered together. Finn’s body reacts, slower than last night, but heat curls in his gut all the same. His fingers slide easily down over Poe’s ass, squeezing tight.
Questions flash through his mind, but he forgoes them to kiss Poe instead. Poe groans into his mouth, a low, content sound that seems to make its way through Finn’s entire body.
“This shower,” Poe murmurs, dragging his mouth along Finn’s cheek, lazy and soft, “is a huge waste of time and money and I need one in my house. ‘M spoiled now.”
“I like it,” Finn agrees on a breath and his fingers slide in, stroking slick between Poe’s cheeks. It’s not even that he wants to have sex again. He wants to have sex with Poe again. He blinks away water to look at Poe.
Poe’s skin is flushed red where the water has been hitting him and his eyes are dark and hazy, either with sleep or arousal. Probably the latter, because he sways into Finn’s fingers with a soft intake of breath, his lips parting. “Yeah,” he breathes, and pushes up to kiss Finn again, swaying into him until Finn hits the cold wall.
Moaning softly, Finn sucks Poe’s lip into his mouth and drags Poe into him, fingers teasing his ass. Nosing against his cheek, Finn murmurs, “is that okay?”
Steam curls into the air around them, making everything hot and wet, and Poe groans and pushes back against his fingers.
“More than okay,” he breathes, and turns to suck a bit of water off Finn’s throat. Compared to the hot water around them, Poe’s mouth is cool.
Carefully, Finn presses a finger into him, gentle and slow. He leans heavily against the cold wall, Poe and the water hot in front of him. Poe lets out a shivering breath, his hands sliding from Finn’s shoulders to his ribs, following the trail of water. Rocking onto Finn’s finger, he groans and presses himself forward, his cock dragging on Finn’s belly.
“I don’t think,” he mumbles, the words pressed close into the curve of Finn’s shoulder, “I’ve ever slept that well in my life.”
A laugh rumbles through him and Finn nuzzles into Poe’s hair. “I don’t think I’ve ever come that much in my life.”
“Oh,” Poe breathes, lifting his head so Finn can see the smile growing on his lips, “Proud to’ve contributed to that record,” he punctuates his words with a roll of his hips, laughing breathlessly. This close, Finn’s cock is trapped between them, and every time Poe moves it drags along his wet skin. Poe drags both his palms down to Finn’s hips, then down to squeeze his ass.
Finn takes his lips in another deep kiss, and he’s glad that neither of them have anywhere to be today.
Sunday evening arrives too quickly. Poe is off somewhere, probably planning for the show’s next trip. They’re taking Dani and the three men left to Bali to enjoy a tropical ending to their love story.
Finn thought he might feel sad or jealous, but three days spent in bed with Poe put his relationship with Dani into perspective. He feels more relaxed than he has in years: his mind only focused on Poe, on the feeling of Poe against him, on the sweet words that Poe whispers to him, words that he can’t mean, but that make Finn’s heart flutter.
He hasn't left the bed in a few hours, dozing on and off since Poe left him, limp and happy under the covers.
A knock on the door startles him out of a dream, of Poe and him back home with Sarg lazing on the couch next to them. Groggily, he shuffles out of bed, pulling on a pair of sweatpants that he thinks must be Poe’s. They fall low on his hips.
“Hello?” He asks, opening up the door.
On the other side is Dani, looking just as stunning as always, and just as stunned as Finn feels.
“Oh,” he says, grip tightening on the door.
“It’s,” Dani falters, her eyes flicking over him—he’s wearing only the sweatpants that probably are Poe’s and the bed is an unmade mess behind him. “It’s you. What are you-- I thought…?”
“Um,” Finn blinks at her, his voice stuck in his throat. “I, uh, my flight is tomorrow,” he says lamely.
Dani pulls back, looking again at the number on the door, and then down at a little sheet of paper in her hand, and frowns. “This is your room?”
“This is,” Finn starts, faltering over Poe’s name.
He thought he was in love with this woman. Until three days ago, he thought about marrying her. Now, going home is less terrifying. Now, he hopes he can get Poe’s number before he leaves (he's not sure that Poe wants that. Despite all of the sweet words, there’s been no talk of anything beyond tonight).
“This is Poe’s room,” he says after a moment. “He’s not here, if you’re looking for him. Meeting of some kind.”
Dani bites at her lip, a habit that she shares with Poe—though she does it when she’s nervous and so far Poe seems to do it when he’s intent on blowing Finn’s mind somehow—and shifts back like she’s going to walk away.
She doesn’t, though. “I’m… having trouble,” she finally says, meeting his eyes. “With, with everything, and,” her voice shakes and she stops, pressing her lips firmly together.
Finn watches her for a moment, then takes a step back. “You wanna come in?”
Dani wavers. She keeps glancing into the room behind Finn like she expects Poe to dart out anyway, and she’s clearly very curious, but seems to be holding her tongue for now. “You don’t have to help me,” she says. “It’s, it’s about the others.”
“That’s okay,” Finn says, stepping back into Poe’s room. He glances around, then pulls on a T-shirt that’s lying out on one of the plush chairs in the sitting area. “I know them. And I was there. Who better to help?” He smiles, a real, genuine smile, that he didn’t think could be possible.
Smiling tentatively back, Dani waits until he’s fully dressed before stepping into the room. She’s wearing a simple sundress, similar to one she’d worn on a one-on-one with Finn, much less elegant than the dress from the rose ceremony where Finn had seen her last. It suits her better. “That’s what I love about you,” she says quietly, and then winces. “Uh—sorry. That probably wasn’t the best choice of words.”
Finn gives her a small smile and drops down into the chair. Poe and he had sex on the couch, but the chairs are safe. He makes a mental note to change that tonight. “Yeah, not really. That’s okay. So, what’s going on? Is Ryan being an ass?”
Dani drops down opposite him with a grimace. “Kind of. He changed a little after you left—” she narrows her eyes. “Was he always like that?”
“He was around me,” Finn nods, relaxing into the chair. Every time he’s been around her, he’s always somewhat on edge. Now, all of his muscles are loose and he has nothing more to lose with her.
“Well, that settles one thing,” Dani mumbles, huffing. “I just can’t stop thinking about, about what comes after. If I pick the wrong guy, or,” her eyes flick up, “if I made a mistake way before this. So many of these things fail. Everyone is gonna be watching. I don’t want to make the wrong choice.”
Shifting forward, Finn’s elbows land on his knees. “If you don’t stay with the guy you choose, that’s okay. You had this whole experience, right? I’m, that’s how I’m thinking about it. I learned a lot from being here. I’m pretty sure you did too.”
Some of the worry softens from Dani’s face. “That’s true. But I really do,” she smiles wistfully, dropping her head, “maybe it’s old-fashioned, but I wasn’t just saying what I said for the cameras. I do want something to last and, honestly, I suck at dating.”
“I think Kevin’s a good guy,” Finn says softly, “and Mason’s alright. Ryan, though. I was kinda miffed that he got through when I didn’t. That was one of my goals: beat that guy.”
“Sorry,” Dani grimaces. “I wish you’d’ve told me. He was really charming on our dates, but in a kind of,” she sucks in a breath, “oh, shit, in a kind of way that I just now realized reminds me of my ex-boyfriend. All that teasing, you know?” She shifts closer to the edge of the chair. “Can we switch you two out? Or, I guess you’re,” glancing at the unmade bed, Dani snickers and glances back at him with a widening smile, “busy.”
Finn’s face feels hot and he laughs, scrubbing a hand through his hair. “Pretty busy. Um, Poe and I,” he sucks in a breath and shakes his head. “Well. If Ryan’s like your awful ex, that’s gotta be a sign.”
“Can’t believe I didn’t see it,” Dani mutters, shaking her head. “God. That guy was such a shit. Ryan’s not as bad as him, but…” She glances up again. “Any other secret behavior I should know about?”
Finn thinks for a moment, holding her gaze. Slowly, he shakes his head. “No, Kevin and Mason are good guys. And, uh, I promise you that this,” he waves at the bed, “didn’t start until Friday.”
“I believe you,” Dani says quietly, and leans in with a slight, teasing smile. “You wanna tell me about that?” She waves her hand the same way he had.
Ducking his head, Finn laughs, “it’s, I dunno. Poe asked me to get a drink on Friday, and it just kinda happened. I mean, he’s hot.”
“Poe Dameron, the hot, notoriously single host of the most romantic show on TV these days,” Dani drawls, her smile widening, “asked you for a drink. And you’ve been messing around. Since Friday.”
“Yes?” Finn glances at her with a rueful smile, “yes. I don’t think I’ve left this room since then.”
“Poe Dameron, most beautiful man in America, is keeping you as his sex prisoner,” Dani drawls, flat and deadpan like most of her humor.
“Willingly imprisoned,” Finn agrees. “This might be the best possible rebound.”
“Yeah, I guess I’m glad I let you go,” Dani laughs, “even though I do miss you. You’re great, Finn. Who did you like better?”
“Of the guys?” Finn smiles, soft and easy. “Definitely Kevin. He’s a good guy, genuinely kind and honest. And he’s better looking than Mason.”
“But Mason is so damn funny,” Dani says, sighing. “I, I’m half in love with them both, I think. This is too hard, and I’m gonna hurt one of them so much.”
“They’ll be okay,” Finn reaches out, glancing up for her slight nod before he sets his hand light on her knee, “they’re strong guys, and whichever one you don’t choose will be okay, after a while. You need to choose the guy who’ll be there for you, who’ll love you like you love him.”
Dani nods, her eyes fixed on him. “And you think Kevin is that guy?”
“I think that that’s your decision to make. If it was me, I’d go with Kevin,” Finn winks at her and squeezes her knee before dropping back into the chair.
“Maybe it should be you,” Dani laughs and flops back against her own chair, smiling at him. “How did I not know you were bi? If you are. Are you? Is that why you wouldn’t tell me much about your last relationship?”
“Uh, yeah,” Finn grimaces, running his hands over the arms of the chair, “bi, I guess. I don’t know. But, yeah, the last person I dated was a guy. And that was a long time ago. I think being on this show made me chill out a bit.”
Dani lets her head flop back against the chair, all her long dark hair spilling against the light green fabric. Draped over it like that, she looks like a classical painting with her sun-kissed skin and her arms flung over her lap. “I wish it’d done the same for me. I feel like I don’t even remember how to make decisions anymore. I don’t… I just want to find an actual, real relationship. Maybe this isn’t the place for that, but.”
Halfway through her sentence, the door clicks open, and Dani trails off as she sits up, twisting around just in time to see Poe, halted in the doorway with one hand still on the knob. There are faint lines on his brow and his tie, which was done up when he left, is hanging half-loosened around his throat. His hair is much more of a mess than it was this morning when he and Finn had worked together to tame it.
Whatever surprise he feels at seeing Dani there in the room Poe gets over quickly, because a second later he’s smiling softly and letting the door drop shut behind himself. “Hey, Dani, everyone was wondering where you were at. Everything okay?”
“Fine,” Dani says faintly, glancing at Finn and then back to Poe, who is doing a fair job of not looking nervous except for the way he’s biting at his lip, his eyes fixed on Dani. “I, uh, just wanted some advice before we head out tomorrow.”
“Yeah, about that,” Poe sighs. “There’s a big storm headed right for Indonesia. All the flights are delayed or canceled.”
“Oh,” Finn tries not to let the hope that suddenly surges inside of him show. “That sucks. Are you gonna go somewhere else instead?”
“Well, that’s the thing,” Poe says with a wry little grin, tugging at his tie, “we’re close enough to it that we’re grounded, too,” he glances briefly at Finn, his eyes dark and full of something that Finn can’t name, “and trust me you do not want to be flying in a typhoon like that. So, for the time being we’re stuck here. Dani, you okay with one more set of dates in Australia? We should be good to take a road trip, if you’re into that.”
Dani brightens up. “Road trip! I used to take them all the time with my dad—yeah, that’d be… that’d be great, actually. Can I help? With arrangements or hotels or anything?”
Laughing, Poe drops his tie over the back of the couch. “They’re on it already, just needed the go-ahead from you. You just relax.”
Heat shoots through Finn. Poe was there just last night, spread out, head thrown back, nails digging into Finn’s shoulders as he pounded into Poe. The marks are still on his skin under the well-tailored suit.
“You said you wanted to go to Perth,” Finn points out, voice tight. He forces himself to drag his eyes away from Poe, whose hand is tight on the back of the couch, his eyes on Finn like he’s thinking of the same thing.
Dani either doesn’t notice the tension or doesn’t say anything about it. “Yeah! Let’s do that. I haven’t even seen a koala yet.”
“Great,” Poe says in what Finn definitely now recognizes to be his host-voice, smooth and easy and pitched perfectly for performing. “Do you wanna go get some ideas going with Jess? She’s already planning but she’d love your input. Unless you still wanted to talk?”
Dani’s smile widens. “No, I’ll leave you alone,” she glances at Finn and actually winks at him. “Finn helped me through it. He’s a great guy. A really great guy. Be a good Bachelor, unless he gets scooped up.”
Finn’s jaw falls slack, staring at her as she stands up. “Um,” is all he can manage to say before ducking his head, face hot.
“We were kinda thinking that, actually,” Poe says, his voice a little breathless. “I’m glad you two are okay.”
“Yeah,” Dani says with a smile, “me too. Thanks for help, Finn. You should come with us to Perth. I won’t tell the other guys,” she laughs, “I don’t think they’d be excited.”
“I, uh, I guess we’ll see what happens,” his voice sounds weak even to himself. He’s not sure why, except that the idea that he can stay here, and, more importantly, stay with Poe, makes his heart race and shivers run down his spine.
Dani is gone as suddenly as she was there, wrapping first Finn and then Poe in a hug that smells like her perfume and a little like sunscreen. Silence falls as the door slips shut again, and Poe is left biting his lip, staring after her.
“I am glad,” he finally says, turning to Finn with a small smile, “that you two are okay. Your dates were my favorite to watch.”
“Yeah?” Finn meets his eyes, and it feels like Poe can see all the way through them. Or it could be because he’s spent the last three days nearly completely naked in front of the man. “I’m glad too. She’s great. A great person. I, I hope she makes the right decision.”
“How was it?” Shifting away from the edge of the couch, Poe tugs at the buttons on his shirt, too, loosing another two of them until it hangs open over his chest. He doesn’t seem to like wearing tight clothes, which makes his well-fitted suits a questionable choice at best. “Seeing her? Are you alright?”
“I’m okay. No, I’m good,” Finn nods and shifts forward, as if pulled in by Poe. “I, uh, if nothing else, the last three days have been really good for me getting over her.”
“Oh, I’m a rebound,” Poe says with a hint of a smile and no bite in his voice whatsoever. “Happy to help. Your flight’s definitely canceled. Whole mess of storms happening right now.”
“I didn’t mean,” Finn starts, but subsides at Poe’s smile. Instead, he asks, with unmasked hope in his voice: “So I get to stay?”
“You get to stay,” Poe repeats with something lurking at the edges of his voice. He almost looks surprised. “We’ve contacted Slip, he’s alright watching your cat for another week or so, even if it doesn’t take that long.” Poe bites at his lip again, shifting. Definitely a nervous habit too, just like Dani.
“Thanks,” Finn nods and slips forward, enough that he’s on the edge of the chair, “should I get my own room? I don’t know if, how long you want me to stay here. I don’t really want to leave, but it’s your job, and your room.”
“Stay,” Poe says immediately, sucking in a breath. “Definitely stay if you want to. Have you eaten? I want pancakes. And coffee. A lot of coffee.”
“Yeah, that sounds good,” Finn smiles and then he’s off the chair and slipping onto the couch, knees on either side of Poe’s thighs. His hands smooth over Poe’s shoulders and down his arms, his eyes bright and focused on Poe. “I want to stay. I want to stay and eat pancakes and then have sex on those chairs.”
“Oh, yeah, the chairs are still pure,” Poe says, brightening up right away. His hands land on Finn’s hips and stay there. “We gotta fix that. You have the best plans, you know that? And then I gotta plan some dates and stuff but that, that can come later. After the pancakes. And the sex.”
“Okay,” Finn nods and he sinks his hips down. Heat coils in his gut and his hips twitch, thrusting a tiny bit against Poe. “God, it was just a few hours and I missed you. That, that seems extreme.”
Laughing, Poe leans up to kiss him, soft and sweet, and wraps his arms completely around Finn to tug him close. “It does, doesn’t it? I missed you too, buddy. We’ve been spending all this time together and then you weren’t there. Also, that meeting took forever.”
“Well, what can you do?” Finn murmurs, pushing a soft kiss against Poe’s throat. “There’s a storm. You can’t plan for a storm.”
“No, but everyone can collectively freak out about a storm and worry that all our plans are ruined,” Poe mumbles. “Seriously. We deal with all kinds of crap every day, you’d think they’d be used to it.”
“Maybe it was just easier for you,” Finn tells him, words hot against his skin, “because you spent the morning with your dick in my mouth.”
Poe lets out a shaky breath of laughter and drops his palms to Finn’s ass, squeezing. “That does tend to give you a rosier outlook on life.”
Moaning softly, Finn pushes back into his hands and bites down on the muscle running down Poe’s neck.
“Also,” Poe groans, “I was thinking about last night through that whole meeting, which was really distracting, and also all your fault.” He sucks in another breath and pushes a kiss against Finn’s cheek. “Do you think they’ll make chocolate chip pancakes if I ask?”
“I bet they will,” Finn tells him, thrusting in little bursts against him. “Last night, last night was great. Tonight is gonna be even better.”
“I take it you have plans,” Poe lifts his head, his smile warm and soft and small, just for Finn.
“Well,” Finn’s hands slide down Poe’s chest, thumbs rubbing over his nipples before his nails drag over Poe’s stomach. “You should call for dinner, then you’ll find out.”
Poe’s eyes are very dark when he pulls away from a long, deep kiss and stretches around Finn to snag the phone off the table. They’ve become pretty familiar with the room service menu by now—Poe seems to have it memorized, actually—and Poe presses the button to get the front desk without even looking, dropping another swift kiss against Finn’s mouth. Finn smiles and his hand slips further down, rubbing over the shape of Poe’s cock, already hard inside his slacks.
The first time he’d done this was while Poe was ordering them lunch after their long shared shower and Poe had pushed his face into Finn’s shoulder, struggling to keep his voice smooth and even and not groan while Finn wrapped fingers around him and stroked, learning exactly where Poe likes to be touched.
Now, Poe holds out a little longer, keeping an even temper to his voice as he asks for half the things on the breakfast menu with the confidence of a man who’s used to getting his way when he wants things, even when they’re technically not available.
“Yeah, yeah—so, the pancakes. Could I get chocolate in those?” He asks in a very slightly shaking voice, leaning into Finn’s hand with their eyes locked together. A smile curves on Finn’s lips and slowly he slides out of Poe’s lap, knees hitting the floor. His gaze only drops so he can unbuckle Poe’s soft leather belt. His cock strains against the slacks and Finn moans softly.
“Great,” Poe says, a little too high, his eyes wide. His lips part and he sucks in a silent breath, pressing himself up off the couch so his erection nudges against Finn’s cheek. “Yeah, that sounds—yes, room 218, exactly—can we get orange juice, too?” Poe sounds excited about what Finn is doing and more excited about all the food, his eyes bright.
Finn flashes him a grin, unbuttoning and pulling down the zipper on his slacks. His bright blue briefs with little oranges on them makes Finn laugh. He saw Poe putting them on this morning and wanted him even more.
He’s never been this attracted to someone in his life.
Poe finishes up his conversation on the phone with a few strained answers of “Yeah,” all in a row and hangs up entirely too fast, his breathing picking up as Finn’s breath washes over his skin. As soon as he drops the phone he groans, sliding both hands over Finn’s cheeks. “You, you have half an hour. This place is fast as hell. God, Finn.”
Laughing, Finn turns his face to kiss Poe’s palm. “I can work with half an hour.”
“Yes they put chocolate in them,” Poe laughs, and holds up the steaming platter of pancakes to show Finn. They’re lounging on the floor with all the food spread out between them, even though there’s a perfectly good table tucked away in the corner of the suite. Finn leans on Poe’s shoulder, still hard, dizzy with arousal, and a wide smile resting on his lips. He pushes a kiss against Poe’s shoulder.
“I mean, we’re buying enough from them,” he mumbles.
“You never know,” Poe says, and turns to press a kiss to his cheek. He’d come in Finn’s mouth with a shout only a minute before room service had showed up and it had been a scramble to get them both looking presentable enough to get everything spread out.
Now Poe leans on him, his fingers stroking along Finn’s skin, over his ribs and down to push into the sweatpants he’d thrown on earlier.
“It always takes a while for people to be comfortable with you filming and meeting and stuff in their hotel,” he continues in between trailing kisses along Finn’s jaw to his lips. “They’re weird about it sometimes.”
“Makes sense,” Finn says on a breath, his hips pushing up off the floor. He groans and curls closer to Poe. “I want to eat but I also really want you to touch me.”
“Finn,” Poe drawls, and draws back enough for Finn to meet his eyes and see the slow, hot grin curving his lips, “you are a creative guy, buddy. There is an answer here.”
“Both?” Finn asks weakly, leaning in to push a messy kiss over Poe’s mouth.
Poe smiles into the kiss, laughing warmly. “You’re brilliant,” he breathes, and despite the teasing it sounds like he means it. He reaches out with his other hand for a bit of pineapple and holds it up to Finn’s lips. “You just sit back and enjoy.”
Another moan builds in him and he leans back against the side of the couch. His lips open around the pineapple, eyes flicking up to Poe’s face. Poe’s eyes are fixed on him like they always are: he loves to watch Finn when they’re fucking. They’re dark and hot and focused entirely on every movement that Finn makes as his hand presses down into Finn’s sweatpants to wrap around his cock. Finn’s breath hitches and he thrusts up into Poe’s hand.
Poe’s hand is calloused and hot, and he keeps feeding Finn: pineapple and oranges and pieces of pancake. Finn’s head falls back, his body overwhelmed by Poe and by the food, and by giving himself completely to Poe. He can’t control his voice, moaning and thrusting, heart thrumming, until Poe kisses him under his jaw and his hips thrust up as he comes, shooting over Poe’s hand and his own shirt.
“Oh my god,” Finn moans, his body dropping limp onto the floor.
“You’re gorgeous,” Poe breathes, keeping Finn close. “God.”
Finn can only groan in response. After a moment, his head falls to the side and he smiles at Poe. “Thanks,” he breathes, lips brushing over Poe’s cheek.
“Any time,” Poe murmurs back with a small smile. “How’s the pancake?”
“Delicious,” Finn nods and pulls himself up, grasping for the fork Poe was using. He cuts a piece and soaks it in syrup before holding it up for Poe. Poe’s lips close around the pancake, still watching Finn, and immediately groans, his eyes fluttering.
“Oh yeah,” he mumbles around his mouthful, “giant hit of sugar. Yes.”
Snorting a laugh, Finn shifts onto his side and pushes his hand through Poe’s hair. Poe lets his eyes drop shut, leaning into Finn’s palm. “Breakfast for dinner. My favorite. You ever do that at home?”
“No,” Finn laughs, massaging his scalp easily. He can think much more clearly now. He still wants to plaster himself against Poe’s body, but it’s less desperate than before. “Everything in my life was by the book. Breakfast was for breakfast, only.”
Poe stretches into his hand like Sarg asking for pets, long and languid stretched beside Finn. “Buddy,” he sighs, “that is so sad. Gotta break the rules. Live a little.”
“What do you think I’m doing now?” Finn laughs and nuzzles into his throat. Cutting another piece of pancake, he pushes the fork into Poe’s hand.
“Breakfast for dinner is an easy one,” Poe laughs and shifts up just enough, leaning close to Finn still so they’re pressed together. “Maybe it spirals from there. I haven’t had a normal schedule in years, so maybe mine’s messed up for good.”
“This is part of the spiral. This whole thing, the show, falling for Dani, sleeping with you. And now breakfast for dinner. All of this isn’t what I’d normally do,” Finn tells him, leaning his head on Poe’s shoulder.
“Spiral?” Poe asks, sounding curious. He reaches out for the plate of pancakes to drag it closer to them. “So what would you normally do? On… what, Thursday, at 7 pm?”
“I’d still be at the office,” Finn murmurs, eyes falling shut, “working on a case, probably. Usually work til 8.”
“Every day?” Poe’s arm tightens around his waist, and then there’s another piece of pineapple being pressed to Finn’s lips. “You’re a lawyer, yeah? For F.O. Those are long days, man.”
Finn pulls it between his lips, savoring the sticky sweetness on his tongue. “They are. I quit my job, before coming here.”
Poe’s fingers slip against his lips as he pulls his hand away, but he presses closer to Finn. “Why?” He asks, and it’s quiet, not his prodding host voice but something softer than that.
“I hated it there,” Finn tells him honestly, letting his head fall back onto the couch cushions. “It was awful. It was everything I didn’t want to do with law, but it paid just so damn well and I’m so in debt,” he sucks in a breath and closes his eyes.
“How long were you there?” Poe presses a kiss against his shoulder. There’s a clink of ceramic as he finally drags a few other things closer to himself and starts to pile up a meal.
“Too long,” Finn tells him, his head lolling enough to see Poe, “close to six years.”
“Shit,” Poe’s brows go up. “That’s a long time in a job you hate, man. Was this, I mean, were you gonna quit anyway, or was the show what made it happen?”
“The show helped,” Finn slips his fingers around Poe’s wrist, stroking over the soft skin there, “my lease was up, I was passed over for promotion, again, and I was picked for the show. It was perfect timing. I brought Sarg to Slip, I moved out, I quit, and I flew to L.A. I tried to get Dani to fall in love with me,” his lips quirk. “I think I've had better luck in these three days than I did in those three months.”
Poe sucks in a soft breath, his eyes bright. “I don’t think you’re the lucky person here,” he says with a small smile, and drops another kiss against his shoulder. “So when you get back, your life is open, huh? Anything can happen?”
Finn nods, pulling Poe’s hand up to his lips. “Yeah. I want to find a job with better morals. With any morals. Or start my own firm. Uh, aside from that, I don’t know. There’s nothing tying me to Katy anymore.”
“You have a plan at all?” Poe asks, smiling. “Because I happen to know that L.A. is a great place for law firms.”
Finn’s smile is small and he keeps Poe’s hand against his lips. “I dunno if I want to be an entertainment lawyer. That isn’t much more fun than corporate law.” Poe turns his hand, tracing his fingers over Finn’s lower lip.
“What do you want to go into? You could do public defense. There’s a huge need for that in L.A.” Poe laughs at his own words. “Or you could not move to L.A., I guess, but. I’d miss you.”
Finn’s breath hitches and he stares at Poe’s chest. Slowly, he raises his eyes, “you would?”
Poe’s teeth worry at his lip again, at the reddened bit at the corner of his mouth where he’s been biting all day. “Yeah,” he says quietly. “I would. I was in a meeting for two hours today and I missed you.”
“Poe,” Finn says quietly. He shifts up to face Poe, pushing his hand back from his face, “Poe, you, uh, we’ve only, it’s been three days.”
Something flashes over Poe’s face, too fast to see. “Yeah, buddy, I know. And I know I’m—this isn’t normal, for you. Or for anyone.” he punctuates that with a small lopsided smile.
“It’s normal for you?” Finn asks with a slight frown.
“The environment is,” Poe says, and pops a piece of orange between his lips. “Not,” he clarifies, “being holed up with someone I can’t stop thinking about in a room for three days. That, uh, that’s new.”
“What do you mean?” Finn keeps his voice low and even, eyes on Poe’s face.
“You’re on a show,” Poe says quietly. “You know? It’s like a break from real life. Not that things don’t count, but that they count… less. I get that. What’s my real life isn’t everyone’s real life.”
After a moment, Finn nods, “this break for me is what your life always is. Is that, is that weird? Being in this place between the show and real life?”
Poe dips his head in a slow nod, eyes flicking up for a moment. His thumb trails idly over Finn’s knee like he doesn’t even notice he’s doing it. “When I think about it too hard, it is. It’s easy to get caught up in. But I love trying to help people find love, or I wouldn’t still be doing it.”
A question is on the tip of Finn’s tongue, but he swallows it back. Instead, he asks, “have you done this before? Not, not fallen for someone, but gotten in this deep in so little time?”
“I’ve never done any of this before,” Poe says quietly, meeting Finn’s eyes. “I’m, this is… I’m not even out. At all.”
Nodding, Finn shifts up to press his lips to Poe’s. It’s the most chaste kiss they’ve shared. He strokes through Poe’s hair. “How, then, how could this happen? How, do you really want me to move to L.A.? Would we really try to be together? It’s, it doesn’t make much sense.”
“If that’s not where your head is at,” Poe says softly, pulling away, “then, that’s fine. Get back to your life, or make a new one. Or a semi-new one. Are you gonna take Sarg back?”
“Of course,” Finn’s smile flickers and he folds his arms around Poe, pulling him in against Finn’s chest, “honestly, my head hasn’t considered it yet. But if you’re, if you’re not out. I’m not, like, publicly out, but I haven’t been closeted. I don’t think I could. Especially not when this is so intense. God, Poe, every time you’re near me I want to touch you. I couldn’t keep that to myself.”
“It’s a wonder you made it as far as you did,” Poe tips his head back to push a kiss under Finn’s chin and stays there, curled around Finn as much as he can be. His voice was teasing but it drops into something softer, more serious. “I don’t even… know why I haven’t come out, at this point. I’m tired of not talking about it but my job is not talking about myself. It’s not supposed to be about me.”
Finn holds him close, petting through Poe’s hair. He lets out a breath, calming himself. “Your life is about yourself. I’m not saying you have to, but it’d be a consideration, for me. I, I can see it. I can see living with you in your fancy house in L.A. I can see doing what I’ve always wanted, helping people who can’t help themselves. I can see stripping you out of your fancy suits when you’re done filming for the day. It feels crazy to think that.”
“You can, huh,” Poe murmurs. There’s a smile in his voice, and before Finn can even answer, Poe lifts his head and kisses him. It’s not a heated kiss like most of the ones they’ve exchanged, but it lingers and Finn can taste the tart sweetness of oranges on Poe’s lips.
Finn keeps him there for a long moment, then nods, “yeah. I, I can now. It feels nice. What do you think?”
“I think,” Poe pulls away and curls his hand into Finn’s at the same time, squeezing tight, “you’re the only person I’ve ever wanted to spend an entire week locked in a room with.”
Snorting a laugh, Finn pushes a kiss against his cheek. “Same here. Maybe, um, I don’t know what it is for you after filming is done, but maybe after we can do that? I don’t have a job, so…”
“Lock ourselves in a room for a week?” Poe asks, grinning. “I hate to break it to you, but I don’t have room service in my house. We’d have to get up to cook.”
“We have delivery,” Finn squeezes his waist. Laughing, Poe nudges himself closer still, wrapping one leg under Finn’s.
“I knew there was a reason I liked you.” He pushes another kiss to Finn’s cheek and stays there, his nose bumping into Finn’s. “But, really,” he murmurs, “I don’t want you to find out in a couple weeks that you actually hate me. That’d go against the whole show I stand for.”
“Hey,” Finn says quietly, pushing his fingers into Poe’s hair, “I might. And you might decide that you don’t like me. That’s how this thing works. We’re, we’re not getting married right now. We both have choice.”
Poe’s laughter shakes through his whole body, and they’re close enough Finn can feel all of it. The air smells like oranges and chocolate. “Are we not? I’m pretty sure this is legally how you get married. On the floor of a hotel with breakfast.”
“Sounds like coercion to me,” Finn murmurs. He closes his eyes. “We should eat.”
“I did order special pancakes,” Poe says, and makes no move to uncurl himself. “Would be a shame to waste all that.”
Finn follows them up to Perth.
They haven’t talked much about the future since that night on the floor of their hotel room, but something changes between them all the same: Finn isn’t going home yet and some of the tension cools just a little. There is possibility in the future and so they don’t have to spend every waking second wrapped around each other. Poe spends one night on the road curled up around Finn in bed, telling him about his career before the show, prodding out of him bits about his own life that he mostly keeps to himself, laughing about shared childhood embarrassments. Apparently Poe also spent a good several years being terrified of sharks, even in fresh water.
The producers know by now—they have to, because on the second day Jess comes barging into Poe’s room demanding to know why Finn hasn’t left yet, sees them twined around each other, and says, “Oh my god, are you serious,” in a tone that’s more laughter than accusation.
Finn hides behind Poe, his arms around his stomach while Poe talks her down, a smile on his face as he does.
The days go slower, with Poe working at random hours in the day and night. Without him, Finn finally returns to his workout regime, he finally has his phone back, he finally thinks through this future that he’s put on hold for the last few months.
He calls Rey, his foster-sister, and tells her everything. He tells her about the season, about Dani, only holding back the details that he’s not allowed to. He tells her about Poe, and sits through her stunned silence, and then quick barrage of questions.
It’s time that he needs, to bring himself slowly back into real life, to figure out what to do now that this experience is over.
He’s sitting at the desk in Poe’s room, researching law firms in L.A., when Poe comes back from what must be the last rose ceremony.
“That’s always tiring,” Poe says as the door falls shut, already tugging at the tie he was wearing, but there’s a massive smile on his face and he immediately comes to drape his arms around Finn’s shoulders, squeezing him tight.
“Did she get rid of Ryan?” Finn asks, leaning back into Poe, happy to have his weight and his scent back around him. Poe nods against his throat. His nose is cold against Finn’s skin.
“He’s gone, lots of tears, the usual—I didn’t like him much but I do feel bad for the guy. What’re you looking up?”
“Oh,” Finn turns to kiss his forehead, “looking up stuff in L.A. Trying to see how possible it’d be. ‘m glad Ryan’s gone. Never liked him.”
“He was kind of a dick and his date ideas were shit,” Poe grins and bumps their noses together. “And I have great ideas for the rest of this. She and Kevin are gonna learn to surf.”
“Mm,” Finn breathes, kissing him softly, “that’s a great idea.” He shifts around and wraps an arm around Poe’s shoulders, “does it ever feel weird to plan all these dates and not go on any?”
“Hitting me with the hard questions,” Poe murmurs, and nudges his way onto the chair beside Finn. “I design dates I’d want to go on.”
“Wanna go surfing with me?” Finn asks, dragging Poe into his lap. He’s warm and solid and turns to push a kiss against Finn’s cheek.
“You know how to surf?”
“Not even a little,” Finn leans into him, “but I want to learn with you.” Poe hums quietly, dropping his head against Finn’s. They’ve gotten like this in the last few days: touching each other as much as before but with less heat, somehow. Poe is very physically affectionate. He’ll drape an arm around Finn or pull him in or kiss his cheek out of nowhere.
It definitely makes sense why he’s in the job he’s in. He seems to genuinely love and believe in the concept of the show.
It’s easy to get sucked into, this easy affection. Finn didn’t realize til now that this is what he’s always wanted.
“I’ll surf with you,” Poe says now, grinning. “And I won’t even lose respect when you eat shit off a surfboard. Scout’s honor.”
“Thanks,” Finn laughs, stroking his thumb over Poe’s cheek. “You know how to surf? That seems very in line with the rest of you.”
Laughing, Poe shifts until he’s straddling Finn, blocking his view of the laptop entirely. “I can surf, I can fly. I grew up in the jungle. I would kill it on Survivor, probably.”
“The jungle?” Finn asks, eyes wide, his hands slipping down to cup Poe’s ass, “Jesus, Poe. That’s what you should lead with.”
Nerves clench in Finn’s gut. He won’t be addressed too much. The host won’t ask him anything that they haven’t already agreed upon. Poe is the famous one. Finn came in fourth on the Bachelorette, is unemployed, and living off of Poe’s salary (for the time being. Poe insists that he doesn’t mind, but Finn does).
Poe came out three months ago, when non-discrimination laws were before the Supreme Court. It had gone as well as expected: mostly an outpouring of love and support, women expressing their displeasure that Poe was out of their dating pool, and some extreme conservatives threatening him. Fortunately, Poe’s PR manager doesn’t think any of them are serious.
Coming out that he’s in a serious relationship with Finn, on the other hand, was a harder choice. It puts Finn in the light again, it calls them out as a couple.
Most people they care about know. He told Rey as soon as they were back in the United States. He told her that he planned on moving to L.A. and in with Poe. She railed against the idea, saying that it was reckless and too fast, but came around once she actually met the man, when Poe and Finn drove to Katy, Texas to pick up Sarg.
The show knows. They’re not happy about it, but they know. Dani is the most supportive. She’d wanted Finn to be the Bachelor, but agreed that Poe was better than anyone he could get on the show. Not that she’s unhappy with Kevin, but she confided with Finn that she would have slept with Poe too, given the chance.
And now he’s back in a suit, waiting backstage at the Tonight Show. Poe is out there, talking with Colbert about the show and about their lives. Apparently they’ve been friends since they both worked in New York, years and years ago.
He can hear what Poe’s saying, but it doesn’t do anything for his nerves. They’d agreed that it was better if he was here, to speak for himself, instead of letting Poe and Colbert talk about him while he’s at home watching.
Tugging on the collar of his shirt, he takes a steadying breath.
“Well, Poe,” Colbert says, “the biggest news is the one we’ve been avoiding.” Poe laughs, closer to his real laugh than his smooth camera laughs.
“Yeah, yeah,” he says, “I wasn’t really sure what to expect, coming out like that. It’s definitely not as big of a deal as, say, when Ellen did—she really paved the way for the rest of us, and I’m not even close to her level of stardom—but I didn’t know it’d get the attention that it did.”
“You’re a fairly private person,” Colbert says with laughter in his voice. Poe snorts.
“No I’m not. Ask anyone who I’m close to at all and they’ll tell you that much.”
“But you don’t talk about yourself to the media that often,” Colbert presses, and Poe gives him that much. “So how has this affected you, if at all? The attention, the comments…” He trails off into pointed silence and lets it hang there, and suddenly Finn knows exactly that this is the time.
“Well,” Poe finally says, and his voice is soft. He’s probably doing that one smile, small and almost shy, except Poe is anything but shy, “It’s been… pretty great, actually. You know, it’s not really supposed to be about me. It’s about helping other people find love and having fun along the way, on the journey,” he pauses for the expected laughter, “but seriously! It is about getting there, and I facilitate that. I had the luxury of staying in the closet because the people close to me knew, my dad, my friends. A lot of people don’t have that luxury, because they don’t pass as straight or cisgendered or anything or because they were forced out too early, or just because they’re not willing to live with this giant secret hanging over their heads. So it’s a relief, in a way. I didn’t even really realize the pressure that was on me, keeping it to myself, until… well, until I had a really big reason to finally say it to the public.”
“The Supreme Court case,” Colbert fills in.”
“That,” Poe says, and there’s a rustle as he leans forward, “and one other pretty big reason being that there was finally someone to come out for.”
Finn’s breath catches and his hands clench. It’s time and he rocks on his toes, wanting to go out there and be with Poe. To hold his hand and kiss him (no kissing, they agreed. One step at a time).
“Someone special enough to come out publicly,” Colbert fills in, “and I believe you brought him with you today.”
“I did,” Poe says, and there’s enough emotion in his voice—excitement and affection—to send Finn’s heart pounding into his ribs. “He doesn’t even really know,” and now he’s looking backstage, straight at Finn, even though Colbert was supposed to introduce him, “how much I actually love him. Because of him,” Poe’s voice is a little tight, but he’s smiling wide, “I got to finally experience one of the fairytale romances that I spend so much time setting up.”
“That’s quite something,” Colbert says gently, “would you like to introduce him, Poe?”
“Oh, you all know him already,” Poe laughs, but he waves at Finn to come out, his eyes warm and bright. “Finn Williams, everyone!”
The welcoming music comes on and Finn takes another huge breath before unclenching his fists and heading out toward Poe. The crowd is quiet for a second, then they burst out in applause. The smile on Finn’s face is genuine and wide, Poe’s words swelling in his heart.
Poe’s on his feet and he encompasses Finn in a hug. Murmuring just loud enough for Poe to hear, he says, “I love you too,” before letting go to shake Colbert’s hand. Colbert squeezes his shoulder, looking delighted to have Finn here.
When the crowd settles down, Finn takes the seat next to Poe, and Poe’s hand wraps around his.
“Finn Williams,” Colbert says, leaning forward on his desk, “we know all about you after your appearance on the Bachelorette. I have to ask, did this,” he waves between the two of them, “happen because of the show?”
“Well, yeah,” Finn nods, squeezing Poe’s hand tightly. “I met Poe on the show. He’s just as charming off camera as he is on,” Finn directs this to the audience with a quick smile. His heart is in his throat. “And, well, after I didn’t get the rose at the final four, I got grounded by that massive tropical storm that hit Indonesia. Since I had to stay for a while, Poe and I got to talking, and something just, well, happened.”
“Romance,” Poe fills in, flashing him a quick smile, because they both know what really happened, “is what happened. FYI.”
“Thanks,” Colbert drawls, “you do have a way of stating the obvious.”
“Finn, Stephen,” Poe says in his most camera-ready voice, keeping a perfectly straight face, “this is the Tonight Show.”
“Alright,” Colbert laughs as the audience bursts into mingled applause and laughter. “So this happened while you were still shooting Dani’s season? Did she know?”
“I told her pretty quickly,” Finn says, his thumb running over Poe’s hand, “it felt disrespectful not to. It all happened so fast, leaving the show, talking to Poe, romance,” he shoots Poe a quick smile, “she’s totally on board. We’re friends, now, and Kevin knows he has nothing to worry about. I was rooting for him anyway.”
“So are you prepared for the spotlight to be on you?” Colbert asks, and there’s something like sympathy in his face. “Because it seems like that’s in your future.”
“I’m prepared,” Finn grins and shifts closer to Poe, “Poe’s done a great job of telling me exactly what to expect.”
“Mostly it’s people tweeting stuff at you. Finn,” Poe shifts up in his chair, glancing at Colbert, who’s doing a terrible job of hiding a smile. “I, uh. I wanted to ask you something.”
Finn’s breath catches and he watches Poe. This isn’t something they planned.
Somehow, he’s less nervous when he meets Poe’s eyes. “Uh, okay,” he says.
“I’ve been hosting the Bachelor and the Bachelorette for, god, ten years,” Poe smiles wryly, “and I’ve seen a lot of roses given and accepted and rejected in my time, but, uh. I’ve never really gotten a chance to participate besides telling people the obvious.”
“This is the final rose,” Finn says softly, caught by Poe’s eyes. His smile is caught in the laugh lines at the corners from long years of grinning brightly at the camera and at everyone else around him. Finn sees a lot of those smiles.
Now Poe squeezes his hand tighter and reaches out with his free hand to pull something from the ground beside him—a big red rose, the stem still wet from the water it was kept in. “Finn Williams,” he says, soft and reverent, “will you accept this rose?”
“Yes,” Finn breathes, frozen where he is. He wants to lean in and kiss Poe, but they’re on live television and hundreds of people are in this room, but it’s just Poe. It’s Poe and him, together.
Poe presses the rose into his hand and their fingers curl together. There are no thorns, of course—they always take them off before the ceremonies—and it’s bigger and brighter than the ones Dani handed out, but it’s there, and Poe is smiling and his eyes are shiny with brimming tears because there has never been a bigger romantic sap in the world than Poe Dameron.
“Thanks,” he breathes, and leans in to kiss Finn softly with the rose clutched between them like no one else is there at all.
Finn laughs and kisses him harder, his heart thudding against his ribs. “Of course,” he mumbles through a smile. “Of course, Poe. Thank you.”
Distantly he’s aware that the whole studio audience is cheering, Colbert clapping along with them.
“I broke the rules,” Poe breathes against his lips, “sorry about that.”
“I love it,” Finn tells him, pulling back enough that he can see Poe. “I love you.”
Poe’s answering smile is brilliant and bright and entirely for Finn.