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Any Other Way

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Severus sighed as he leant back in his rocker and sipped his tea. What a day. It was midmorning and already he was weary. The activity in the garden below was tiring merely to watch it. He absently nudged the floor with his foot, sending his chair into a gentle sway. Twenty years ago he had never thought that it would come to this. The chaos beneath him below only emphasised his exhaustion. The sun was warm, and he dozed lightly.

“Sirius James! Get down off that broomstick now and give me a hand! At this rate we’ll never be ready…”

Startled awake he glared at the young offender over the balcony. Damned boy, no sooner he had his hand on his broomstick, he lost all ability to think. No wonder, given who he was named after… he never had a chance to be anything else but yet another empty-headed Gryffindor. He sighed again and shifted in his seat. More fool me for agreeing to such a pedestrian name. Severus sipped at his tea again, and glaring at the offending cup, set it back down on the table, wishing that his magic was stable enough to risk a warming charm.

Shifting in his seat again, he chuckled whilst remembering the discussion with Lupin over the naming of the brat. Lupin was astounded that he would agree to such a name and wanted to know the reasoning behind it.

“I was reminded of the fine art of fellatio and neglected to pay attention during the discussion that followed.” Severus had deadpanned.

The embarrassment was worth the dumbfounded look on the wolf’s face. Of course then informing Lupin that his pseudo-godson was a Cock-Sucking Queen, and that, in his condition, regularly having his brain hoovered out through his cock often led to questionable decisions such as allowing werewolves into his house, only made the stammering idiot leave the room faster.

Absently he sipped at his tea again, only to spit the cold brew back into the cup. ”Damn!” And the bell was out of reach! He shifted in his seat again. Once he got in it, it was rather difficult to get out, and he didn’t dare accio the blasted bell. The last time he had tried that bell hadn’t come to him but the village church tower bell had rung off pitch ever since. Perhaps it was time to invest in a house elf or two.

The dull roar below had risen in raucous welcome as several apparition pops heralded the arrival of his husband’s family. He grumbled to himself as he watched the garden fill with yet more over-effusive Gryffindors. This was not his idea of a good time; exposing his twisted body to the unwashed masses - swollen ankles, bloated belly, bent back, uncontrollable emissions. Well, perhaps not so uncontrollable, but a man had to have his little moments of joy however he managed to get them. And no doubt, the tables will be filled with all the foods he wasn’t allowed to have. All presided over by that cock-sucking fiend that dared to call himself his ‘husband’!

Breathing heavily he grasped the arms of his chair as he prepared to haul his uncooperative body out of the chair. Thoughts of his husband’s lingual abilities always had unfortunate effects on his body, and now was not a good time to be thinking about a romp with a certain tousled-haired brat. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and imagined Fudge and Umbridge cavorting naked on the pitch at the World Cup. Only to find, as he opened his eyes, a pair of sparkling quizzical green eyes looking back at him.

“What was that face for?” Asked a concerned Harry.

“Naked Quidditch!” Gasped Severus, still trapped in the throes of revulsion.

“Ah!” Harry nodded wisely. “That will do it.” He grasped Severus’s arms and gently pulled him out of the chair, wrapping an arm around his back to steady him.

“Well, come on then Birthday Boy! Everyone is here and I don’t think I can hold the kids off much longer, they are rather hungry.” He leant forward, gave Severus a chaste kiss and smiled innocently up at him.

Severus grumbled. “You don’t fool me I know where that mouth has been.”

Harry leered up at him, “You didn’t complain earlier.”

“I was incapable of thought at the time.”

“Yes, I rather like you like that.”

“Harrumph!”

“So, what has got you in a grump this time? Surely not turning fifty?”

“I am not in a grump, and if I were, it certainly wouldn’t be over something as miniscule as turning fifty!” Severus glared at his infuriating husband as he slowly made his way to the stairs overlooking the garden. They paused at the top of the stairs and stood there, watching the mingling throngs of gaily chatting people and children running screaming through the garden that he had so tenderly cultivated.

Harry wrapped his arms around him and kissed the back of his neck before resting his chin on Severus’ shoulder.

“I know you didn’t want your party held here, but I just don’t feel comfortable with you away from the house so close to your due date. I worry about you. This pregnancy hasn’t been easy on you, and Poppy says that you are not to stress about anything.”

Severus just turned his head and looked at his husband with one eyebrow raised. “They are trampling my rhododendrons. And that’s just the adults! We won’t discuss what the little heathens are doing, let alone the fact that they are being led by your children!”

Harry chuckled, nudged the tip of his nose in that tender spot behind Severus’ ear and whispered. “And you wouldn’t have it any other way!”

Fin.