(Moonrise, c. 2000 Kellie Matthews)
Rated NC-17 for M/M sex and occasional bad words. If you're considered a minor in your community please
take off now, you shouldn't be reading this. You may also want to skip
this if you're narrow-minded or easily offended. The characters Benton
Fraser and Ray Kowalski are from the television series Due South. I
don't own 'em, I wish I did. Characters are property of Alliance, everything
else is my smutty intellectual property. This is either a sequel to
or an epilogue to "When the Ice Goes Out." Haven't quite figured
out which. It's pretty much a PWP.
Soundtrack: An instrumental piece for Spanish guitars called "Coast
to Coast," and "Mi Vida," both from the album Compadres,
with Oscar Lopez and James Keelaghan.
Thanks to AuKestrel & Betty for beta. I don't know what I'd do without
you guys. Also thanks to Betty for thoughts of canoes and porch swings.
© 2000 Kellie Matthews
The temperature has dropped
precipitously now that the sun has fully set. Though the days are lengthening
this time of year, dark still seems to fall quickly, especially here
where no artificial lights brighten the shadows. I send another annoyed
glance at Diefenbaker who looks abashed, well aware that it was his ill-considered
leap into the water after a duck which tipped the canoe and drenched
us. Even though the temperatures today were pleasant, the water was
still very cold.
it hadn't been far to shore, and we'd already been most of the way back
to the cabin, so while we're wet and chilly, neither of us is in danger
of hypothermia. Had the incident occurred further from shore or the
cabin the situation might have been different. All in all Ray had taken
the whole event with surprising good humor, better, in fact, than I had.
We'd maneuvered the upside-down canoe to shore, dumped it out, wrung
out our clothes as best we could and headed in for the night after storing
can finish drying out here," I say sternly to Diefenbaker as we
near the cabin, moving a little faster in our desire to get out of the
chilled air and our wet clothes.
didn't mean to do it, Frase," Ray says, trying to blunt my justifiable
fact remains," I say, refusing to grant clemency.
he's just following his natural instinct," Ray says. "Can't
fault a guy for that."
The word, indeed, the entire subject, has taken on a whole new meaning
in the last few months, one to which I tend to respond in a rather Pavlovian
manner. Despite the discomfort of being chilled and damp, I find myself
becoming aroused. It's a bit embarrassing how easily he can induce that
in me. I suppose it's a result of going so many years without intimacy.
My body wants to make up for lost time and my mind isn't far behind.
I shoot a look at Ray, but though his eyes are bright with humor they
don't hold that certain look I know means more.
right. Settle down. He's wet and cold, he didn't mean anything by that.
After all, he has no way of knowing that I respond to the word 'instinct'
like a lab rat to a food lever.
unlocks the door and we step inside. The small cabin has retained some
residual warmth from the day and if it feels good to me I know it must
feel better to Ray, who's already starting to strip off layers of damp
clothing as I light the lantern. There's a generator if we want electricity,
but I prefer the simplicity of lanterns.
dibs the shower," Ray says, heading for the small bathroom. In
the doorway he stops and looks back, eyebrows lifted. "Unless you
want to share?"
very tempted. His lean torso seems to invite my touch, and he did offer
. . . however, one of the things I've learned since I moved in with Ray
is that we waste a truly frightening amount of water when we shower together.
In the interests of conservation I shake my head. "You go ahead,
I'll shower later."
nods, not looking too disappointed. I console myself with the thought
that there will be other opportunities which have less environmental
impact. A moment later I hear the shower come on while I strip and drape
my clothes over a kitchen chair to dry. Knowing that we're settling
in for the night I opt for the comfort of a pair of sweatpants and a
sweatshirt. I light a fire in the fireplace, and after standing by it
a few moments I'm almost too warm, but I know Ray will be glad of the
A can of
beef stew goes into a pan on the propane-fueled stove to heat on a very
low flame, because Ray takes long showers even without me. As I rinse
the can I suddenly remember that Dief is in exile on the porch and feel
slightly guilty about that-- as Ray said, the hunting instinct is difficult
to overcome. However, it would undermine discipline to go back on my
word now, so I ready a bowl of food and another of water and head out
to feed him. He's under the porch swing, and though he comes out from
under it when I step out, to my surprise, when I put down his dishes,
he doesn't immediately begin to eat.
He exhales loudly: a
very wolflike sigh. Perhaps it's my imagination but he sounds guilty.
I sigh too and crouch down.
all right this time, but you need to think of consequences. Ray's not
a strong swimmer, and it's fortunate we were relatively close to shore
when it occurred and that I was able to help."
lowers his head, puts his ears back and glances away briefly with a soft
whine. I nod, accepting his apology. "Thank you. I know you didn't."
That seems to do
the trick: I feel the brush of his tail twice against my arm and then
he wanders over to start eating. I get to my feet and stand for a moment,
absorbing the night. I can hear the susurration of the river, crickets,
frogs, and distantly the call of an owl. The sky is a vibrant cobalt
blue with a scattering of bright stars like - I grin to myself - drops
of spent semen across dark sheets. A faint ivory glow through the trees
to the east tells me the moon is rising. The air that felt uncomfortably
cold to me just a few minutes ago now feels just pleasantly crisp. Ray
was right. I do need to escape the city for this sort of setting now
and then. He's usually right about me, I've found, even when I think
together hasn't been a completely smooth adjustment. He does things
that annoy me: wet towels in a heap on the bathroom floor, for instance.
I do things that annoy him, of course, such as arranging the spices alphabetically
rather than by frequency of use. But the annoyances so far are minor
when compared to all the things we do right together, and we're learning
how to communicate so that those minor things don't assume more importance
than they should. I close my eyes and inhale deeply. Leaf-mould, moist
earth, pine, damp wolf, a tinge of woodsmoke from our fire, and a faint
hint of warming stew. I don't want to go back inside yet, so I settle
onto the swing, rocking it idly with an occasional flex of my legs.
I'm not sure how long
I've sat there when the cabin door opens and Ray emerges. It must have
been quite some time, because his hair is dry. He brings with him the
aroma of Dr. Bronner's peppermint soap, together with his own unique
scent, which combined are nearly as erotic as the word 'instinct.' He's
wrapped in a quilt against the chill, and though his face is shadowed
I can see his eyes shining in the moonlight as he looks at me. Wordlessly
he comes and sits beside me, and I can feel his warmth, radiant. Ray-diant.
I hadn't realized I was getting chilled until now. After a few moments
he untucks the quilt from around his feet and hooks a foot behind my
ankles to pull my feet under the fabric too. His long narrow feet cover
mine, warming them.
turned off the stew," he says after a little while longer.
stiffen a bit. "I'm sorry, I forgot."
smiles, I can see the flash of his teeth. "S'okay. No biggie.
You're allowed. Nice out here."
look at him, a little surprised. "You don't find it too cold?"
"It's a good kind
of cold. Not the nut-shriveling kind. Just the fire-in-the-fireplace
kind. The kind that makes you want to be close to someone else."
He says it nonchalantly,
but I know him better than that and have to work to control a smile.
I can take a hint. I scoot a bit closer and slide my arm around his
blanket-encased form. He leans into my embrace and I see his teeth again,
briefly. This close his scent is stronger, and there's an underlying
hint of more than just soap and clean skin. My own mouth curves in a
smile I can't control. He's looking away from me, toward the moon, almost
full, that's now risen above the trees. My eyes trace the long line
of the tendon in his throat from just behind his ear down to where it
flows into the curve of his shoulder, and I suddenly realize that in
order for me to see that he must be shirtless under the quilt.
I almost chide him for
coming out half-dressed when a thought takes me, and I slide one foot
out from beneath his and glide my toes up his ankle to his calf. His
bare calf. I've always been quite good at deductive reasoning.
And math. Combine bare shoulder with bare calf, add quilt, multiply
by Ray's personality and the sum of that equation shakes me to the core.
I'm suddenly very glad I didn't put on a pair of jeans, as I would be
quite uncomfortable right now. The muscles of his calf flex a little
under my toes, and he chuckles.
two yet?" he asks out of the blue.
I reply stupidly, wondering if the sudden rush of blood to more southerly
areas has left my brain unable to process correctly. His question makes
you get two yet? You know, one plus one?"
sometimes he is uncannily in tune with my thoughts. I clear my throat.
laughs again, a richer sound this time. "'Bout time." He
snakes a hand out of his quilt and runs a single long finger over the
turgid proof of my reasoning ability. "Oh yeah," he says huskily.
"You got it all right." He moves his hand up, hooks his fingers
into the elastic waist of the sweatpants and tugs. "Lift up."
"But Ray, it's .
. . ."
didn't say 'argue with me,' I said lift. Now lift."
lift. He pulls. When I settle back I feel the fabric of the seat-cushion
under my buttocks and thighs, cool air caressing the bared, heated skin
between my waist and knees. He stands up, the blanket trailing from
his shoulders like furled patchwork wings. The moonlight steals all his
daylight gold, rendering his elegant lines in silver and smoke. Dear
God, I didn't think it was possible for him to be any more beautiful
than he is every morning in our bed, but he is. Standing here in between
shadow and substance he is a mythical creature, but not an angel. No
angel ever wore such a look of earthbound mischief.
I say hoarsely.
he replies, moving closer to me, standing with his feet on either side
going to get cold," I say foolishly, and then want to bite my tongue.
Sometimes I say the most idiotic things.
you better keep me warm then," he says softly, leaning forward,
planting a knee on the swing next to my thigh as he puts a corner of
his quilt into my hand.
grasp it automatically and he does the same thing with the other corner,
leaving me holding it up as he puts his hands on the back of the swing,
shifts his weight and straddles my lap. The swing wants to rock and
I have to tighten my calves and dig my toes in against the porch to hold
us still. He's not cold, I can feel the heat of him just inches away.
His right hand is warm as he lets go of the swing and strokes my thigh,
then curls his fingers around the base of my erection, holding me as
he leans even closer, cants his hips forward, and then eases down. I
almost protest again, because though we're getting fairly experienced
at this there are things that should be done first, but as I feel the
slickness and then the ease with which I slip inside him, I realize there's
no need. Ray must have . . . prepared. . . before he came outside.
I moan as I imagine what he looked like doing so, feeling the results
all around me.
he's settled, both hands on the back of the swing again, his bent knees
in the gap between the seat and back of the swing, his legs tight alongside
my thighs, his penis a thick, hot length against my belly. He moves
on me, a roll of his hips that makes me slide within him in a way that
makes us both gasp, and then he leans to lick my ear with a sound that's
half purr and half growl.
Ben. Let us go."
He only uses that name for me in the heat of passion. I cherish it like
a rare gift. I don't understand what he means though, until the next
time he moves and I strain to keep the swing stable. Then I finally
comprehend. I stop trying to hold us in place and his movements make
the swing sway gently. He takes that rhythm, echoes it, his body moving
against mine, all long, lean grace as his head falls back, and his lips
part. In this position his chest is at mouth level, and I take advantage
of that, leaning to suckle first one taut nipple, then the other. He
shivers suddenly and I remember the blanket, now draped limply between
my hands, and bring it up around his shoulders, enfolding him in its
shivers again anyway, and I realize it's not from cold, it's from arousal.
He sighs, and makes a soft sound in his throat, coming down harder against
me, making the swing move faster. His sigh brings my gaze to his mouth.
His mouth is extraordinary: so expressive, so talented. I stretch upward
to catch it with my own, and he bends down again to make it easier for
me. My lips graze his cheek as he moves down to me, encountering smooth
skin. . . he shaved. More preparation. Knowing how much he planned
this sends rivers of heat through me, the intensity almost too much.
My thighs flex and I push up into him, disrupting the rhythm he'd set.
He moans and shakes his head.
- let me do the work, Ben."
I manage to relax my legs and the movement of the swing stabilizes again,
a steady back and forth, with each movement of his body. I want to touch
him, but I can't because my hands are full of blanket and if I drop it
to touch him, the cold air will find his sweat-sheened skin. It's a
subtle torture to not be able to caress him. I lean forward to lick
his shoulder, to use my mouth on him as I can't use my hands, and he
laughs, taking a hand from the back of the swing to stroke my face, run
his thumb across my lips.
catch it quickly in my teeth, hungry for some part of him in me as I
am in him. I suckle it, stroking with my tongue, as I wish I could do
for the straining length against my belly. The deliberate rhythm stutters,
and he clenches around me, oh God, so sweet. I buck and shudder and
gasp his name, fingers clenching in fabric as I strain to keep from falling.
says, tugging his thumb from my mouth, leaning to brush his lips across
mine. "Shhhh. God this is good. I love the way you feel inside
me. I could do this forever, fuck you forever."
might be able to, but I can't. I never can with him. The control I've
always had deserts me when I'm with him, completely lost, no reserve,
no restraint nothing but passion and need and love. I try. I bite the
inside of my lip, hoping the pain will outweigh the pleasure, but his
hand is on my face again, finger sliding into my mouth, pushing between
my teeth, taking even that from me.
Ben. Just give it to me, come for me."
voice steals my last thread of sanity, and I do as he says, with his
finger in my mouth, my cock buried deep in the welcoming heat of him.
Pleasure rises through me in mind-stealing waves, pulsing out of me,
making me shudder and cry out like some wild thing, giving myself to
him totally, trying vainly to somehow meld the very cells of our being
together, inseparable. I am in him, but somehow he's also in me at the
same moment, one.
reality settles in again. He's still hard against my stomach, trembling,
his breathing shallow and tense has he holds himself still to allow me
the fullest experience of my own pleasure. I lift my head to look into
his face. His eyes seem to hold the moonlight captive: there's no color
to them, only light and the dark wells of his dilated pupils. I let
the blanket fall and my hands slide down to his hips, caressing, urging
him up, and off me. I can feel him shaking as he complies, hear the
soft sound of loss he can't suppress as my body slips out of his.
I steady him as he gets
his feet under him, and then I stand too. My legs are also more than
a little shaky. Grabbing the blanket from where it fell, I wrap it around
his shoulders, then turn him and press him down to take my place on the
swing. He complies with a sigh, and I sink to my knees between his widespread
thighs, hands on his hips again, pulling him forward to the edge of the
seat. He makes a soft, anticipatory sound. He knows I like this, I
know he loves this. Perhaps not as much as me in him, but it's a close
second. I circle his erection with one hand, pumping gently, and he
moans, thrusting into my hand.
close, I can feel it in him, hear it in his voice. I slide my other
hand beneath the sweaty weight of his scrotum, caressing, then back farther,
fingers searching, finding. He's softly pliant, his body opening readily
to my touch. I take his cock in my mouth just as I slide two fingers
into him, their entry eased by the heat and wetness of my own semen inside
him. He arches helpless under the dual assault, hands clenching by his
fuck," he moans, the words thick and hoarse. "Yeah. Ohyeah.
him the more he wants, using my fingers almost roughly inside him, my
other hand still working the base of his shaft as I lick and suck on
him. I used to be afraid I'd hurt him, but I know now where the lines
are, what he wants. He bucks hard against my fingers and shudders, his
long body bowed in a slouch as he tries to stay on the swing and still
get closer to me, to the pleasure I'm giving him. I twist my fingers
a little inside him, pushing deep, probing, and let him feel my teeth,
and that's as much as he can stand. He tenses, groans a deep, throaty
sound, and I smile around him as I feel the spasms start around my fingers
only to be echoed a moment by the hot spurts of his seed across my tongue.
I take every drop
from him, licking softly, knowing how sensitive he is now. Finally I
feel him shiver, from cold this time, and I know we need to move inside.
I slide my fingers gently from him, release his softened cock, and rub
my head against his thigh for a moment before I stand, hitching up my
sweatpants which I've just now realized are still down around my knees.
Astonishing the things one can forget when one is otherwise. . . occupied.
Ray is still sprawled in an almost-painful looking slouch on the swing,
looking utterly and delightfully debauched. He doesn't appear to have
moved at all, not an inch.
you all right?" I ask.
chuckles softly, looking up at me with those amazing, luminous eyes.
dead, but way better than all right."
put out a hand. "Come on, inside. It's too cold for you to be
dead out here. Lets go in by the fire and I'll warm the stew up again."
He yawns and nods, and
puts his hand in mine so I can pull him to his feet, but I don't stop
with that. Hands still entwined, I pull him into my arms, holding him
close for long, long moments, just trying to convey through simple touch
the feelings I have no words for. 'I love you' is entirely inadequate
to the task. He's part of me, and I of him. His arms go around me and
tighten, almost painfully, and I know he understands, that my truth is
his truth as well. His lips brush my ear, then my cheek, then my eyelids,
his tongue stealing out, warm, to lick the salt from my lashes. How
did he know? He lingers there a moment, then his mouth moves to mine
and I taste my tears on his lips.
no one in the world I'd rather be dead with," he whispers a moment
later. "Come on. Let's go inside. We can die again in a little
We will. And live again, as well. Together.
* * * Finis * * *