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When I'm Sixty-Four

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When I'm Sixty-Four




When I get older losing my hair

Many years from now



Stiles spluttered, attempting to keep the laughter in and trying so very hard for Derek not to notice that his sides were hurting from his failed attempt at keeping his mouth from breaking into the biggest grin.


"What?!" Derek growled around his toothbrush, glaring at Stiles in the mirror, spitting toothpaste all over his chin.


"Nothing!" Stiles defended, holding his hands up and biting his lip to stop from really breaking out into fits of laughter.


"Stiles..." Derek growled again, and really the red flash of his eyes would have been much more effective on Stiles if there wasn't white foam surrounding Derek's mouth and stuck in his stubble.


"You have..." Stiles began, having to stop as he allowed the laughter to begin, his sides already hurting, causing him to clutch onto his stomach. I took him a minute to compose himself, leaving Derek still staring at him, toothbrush still in mouth.


"Okay, sorry," Stiles sighed, wiping a stray tear from his eye, "You have a bald patch." He explained, doubling over with laughter again.


Derek continued to glare at Stiles, wiped his mouth of the toothpaste and left the bathroom. He refused to dignify Stiles' comment with a response.



Will you still be sending me a valentine

Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?



"Stiles! Post!" John shouted up the stairs, flicking through the letters that littered the welcome mat.


"If it's bills then don't depress me any further please," Stiles groaned, slumping down the stairs in the pyjamas he'd been wearing for three days straight now, and the pathetic stubble shadowing his face.


"Think you might like this one," John grinned, handing Stiles the pink envelope, the postage stamp at the top reading New York, "My god Stiles haven't you washed?!" Stiles' father gasped, holding the remaining letters in his hand up to his face, to cover his nose.


"No need to," Stiles grumbled, glaring at the envelope in his hand, and not looking up at his father.


"There is every need to wash, young man. Now open that, have at least 2 showers, shave and make yourself look presentable. I refuse to live with a slob."


"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say," Stiles mumbled, not taking his eyes off the letter in his hand, turning around to make his way back into his bedroom.


"Just because you're a grown man doesn't mean I can't ground you!" John shouted up the stairs, sighing at his sons retreating figure.


"I'm married, yes it does!" Stiles shouted back, sitting down on his bed and taking a deep breath before opening the card in his hand.


Didn't think I'd forget, did you?

Happy Valentines Stiles,

I'll be home soon.

I miss you

Derek x




If I'd been out till quarter to three

Would you lock the door?


"Did you lock the door?" Stiles asked, pulling his seatbelt on and fiddling with his iPod.


"No I thought you were doing it?" Derek asked, raising an eyebrow at Stiles, as he put his key into the ignition.


"I did? I did. Yeah I locked the door."




"Yeah I definitely locked the door,"




"Did I lock the door?"


"I don't know Stiles, did you lock the door?"


"I'm sure I did."


"Right, like you were sure that you'd seen Laura asleep in bed, when she was still in the bath, and you were sure that the cat had food, and you were sure-"


"Okay, point made. I'll go check the front door."


"You're getting forgetful in your old age."


"Just remember no matter how old I am, you'll still always be 6 years older than me, babe," Stiles grinned, getting out the car to go and check the front door.



Will you still need me, will you still feed me

When I'm sixty-four?



"Derek... Derek... Derek!" Stiles shouted, from his position on the sofa, "Derek!"


"What?!" Derek shouted from the kitchen, before swearing loudly as Stiles heard the sound of pots and pans crashing to the floor.


"Come here!" Stiles whined, rolling over the on the sofa so he was face down in a pillow.


"What do you want?" Derek sighed, standing in the doorway to the living room.


"Feed me?"


"No," Derek glared, "There's nothing wrong with you, if you want food get it yourself."




"I have food to cook for your birthday party tomorrow, so leave me to it."




"It's not your birthday until tomorrow so don't try and pull that excuse."




"And you've already used all of your 'I am the father of your child and you should do as I say' persuasions."


Stiles groaned, he knew he should have saved a few of them up for times like this, "But Der, I'm sick."


"You're not sick, Stiles."


"Yes I am," Stiles wined, as Derek wiped his flour covered hands on his apron, "Listen," Stiles pathetically coughed, before being manhandled by Derek into lying face up, and his forehead was being covered by one of Derek's large hands.


"Oh you do have a bit of a temperature," Derek said thoughtfully, standing up straight to look Stiles over.




"I guess I'll just have to cancel the party tomorrow then. You can't have a party if your sick. I'll call everyone and let them know-"


 "You're an asshole," Stiles sighed, standing up from the sofa, "I just wanted some god damn pizza."


"The pizza is not for you to eat, it's Laura's and you know it."


"I am her father and if I wish to eat her pizza then I shall,"


"You can explain that to her when she gets home then,"


"God dammit I hate you so much."




You'll be older too

And if you say the word

I could stay with you



"Did you think we'd end up here?" Stiles asked, hitting the Happy 40th Birthday balloon towards Derek's direction.


"Where?" Derek asked, kicking the balloon with his foot back towards Stiles, who was on the sofa opposite him.


"Old and married with a kid,"


"We're not old," Derek chuckled, grabbing the balloon from the floor where it had missed him and twisting it in his hands.


"You have back problems, and I have glasses. Dude we're old."


"If we're old you should probably stop saying dude,"


"Dude no!" Stiles gasped.


"Of course I thought we'd end up here," Derek smiled, "Because I love you."


"Awh you're so sappy," Stiles grinned, getting up from the sofa to join Derek on his, "I love you too."



I could be handy, mending a fuse

When your lights have gone



"I told you!" Stiles grinned, pointing at Derek, "I told you that the wiring sucked in this place and you didn't believe me! Yes! Score one for Stiles!"


"Why is dad pleased about the lights not working?" a small voice from a 10 year old Laura asked Derek.


"Because your father is an incredibly strange man," Derek replied.


"Oh wait, you can see and I can't. Derek! Derek where are you?!" Stiles flailed his arms around, attempting to reach for Derek who was on the other side of the room.


"Follow my voice," Derek chuckled.


"Your voice sounds everywhere! Derek! This isn't funny!"


Derek continued to chuckle as Stiles moved about the living room in a circular motion attempting to find him, with his daughter beside laughing equally as hard.


"Two wolves against a human is not a fair battle!" Stiles groaned, "I give up," he sighed, sitting in the middle of the floor 


Laura quietly stepped over to where Stiles was sat, jumping into his lap and giggling, "Hi!"


"Der, will you please fix the lights?"





You can knit a sweater by the fireside

Sunday mornings go for a ride


"Your puppies are here," Stiles shouted into the kitchen, as he saw the large van pulling up into the driveway.


"I don't think they appreciate you still calling them puppies Stiles," Derek said, pulling on his coat and grabbing his wallet and keys from the coffee table.


"They will always be your puppies and they know it, no matter whether they're 40 or 400."


"Don't think they're going to live to 400 sweetheart," Derek grinned, "I will see you tomorrow."


"Be careful, you're old now you don't heal as fast," Stiles smirked as Derek gave him a quick kiss.


"Only if you promise to stop knitting,"


"It's for Erica's baby!" Stiles gasped, "Don't insult my booties."


"I'm sorry, I love your booties."



Doing the garden, digging the weeds

Who could ask for more?



"You're going to do your back in again," Stiles said, taking a sip of the beer in front of him.


"Well you're not going to do this are you?" Derek gritted his teeth, giving the dead tree another pull to attempt to shift it a little up from deep in the soil.


"You're damn right I'm not going to do it, I have more sense than you clearly,"


"Considering this garden is your pride and joy, you don't seem to do a lot in it, do you?" Derek glared over at Stiles, wiping away the sweat that was beginning to form on his forehead.


"Now why would I do that, when I have you to do it for me?"


"Even though I'll do my back in again?"


"I just can't resist seeing you in that grey tank top." Stiles grinned over at Derek, taking another sip of his beer.



Will you still need me, will you still feed me

When I'm sixty-four?


"We're supposed to be making a good impression for Laura's boyfriend, and you are filling your face with pie?" Derek asked, smacking Stiles hand away from the freshly made apple and pecan pie he'd just taken out of the oven.


"Rather me stuff my face now than when he arrives," Stiles grinned, pie crumbs falling from his mouth and onto the worktop that Derek had just cleaned down.


"Please someone remind me why I didn't divorce you decades ago..."


"You like taking care of me too much," Stiles smirked.




Every summer we can rent a cottage in the Isle of Wight

If it's not too dear



"If we're paying for the wedding we won't be able to go the cottage in England this summer," Stiles sighed, looking over at the bank statements in front of him, and the cost estimates that Laura had been given by the wedding planner.


"What do you mean?" Derek asked, putting on his reading glasses and leaning over to inspect the papers in front of Stiles.


"I'm already maxed out on all my credit cards, and I'm so close to going into my overdraft that I can almost taste it Derek."


"Why didn't you tell me?" Derek asked, picking up Stiles' bank statement and reading it over, "Oh Stiles..." Derek sighed, looking up at Stiles' worried expression.


"I didn't want to worry you, because you were already worried about money and the restaurant. It's fine, I can take out another loan and that'll cover Laura's wedding payments."


"No," Derek said, placing paper down onto the coffee table, face down so he didn't have to see the red any longer.


"Derek, we need to get the money from somewhere, and I'm not going to get a promotion at work anytime soon, and early retirement would be stupid because my pension pot isn't that great."


"I've been putting off using my parents money for far too long now, and they'd want me to use it for this."




"This is right. This is what they would have wanted."



We shall scrimp and save

Grandchildren on your knee

Vera, Chuck & Dave


"Laura Claudia Hale you are not naming my first granddaughter Vera!" Derek glared at his daughter over the table, where her hands were rested protectively over her bump.


"Derek," Stiles said calmly, placing his book down on the dining room table and, resting a hand on Derek's knee.


"Stay out of this!" Derek's glare intensified further, this time aimed at Stiles.


"Don't alpha eyes me Hale!" Stiles pointed a finger at his husband, staring him down, "Now apologise to your daughter and speak in your indoor, human voice or so help me god I will get the wolfsbanes handcuffs out, and I will go and buy that lawn mower I've been looking at with all your savings."






"Sorry Laura."


"Good boy," Stiles grinned, petting Derek on the head, before turning his attention back to the book in front of him.


Send me a postcard, drop me a line

Stating point of view



Laura and David,


England is amazing as always

Your father has managed to pull even at his age!

I have sun burnt my head so the bald patch is now even shinier

Hope everything is well back at home, we miss you like crazy

Give our favourite granddaughter the biggest kisses

Be home soon, make sure the cats are fed!


Love Dad & Pa




Indicate precisely what you mean to say

Yours sincerely, wasting away


"What are you giggling at?" Derek asked, looking over Stiles' shoulder, where he had old photos laid out on the bedroom floor.


"You, me, everyone..." Stiles chuckled again, picking up a photo of Derek and he at Allison and Scott's wedding, "God look at us,"


"You were only 19," Derek smiled, plucking the photo out of Stiles' hands, and holding it up to compare it with the Stiles sitting in front of him, "You haven't changed a bit," Derek's smile widened.


"Oh please, I'm all wrinkly and old now."


"Still just as handsome."



Give me your answer, fill in a form

Mine for evermore



"Derek, I'm not going to say some big mushy speech about how much I love you, and how we met and got together and all that stuff, because we both already know it all, and so does everyone else in this room, because well we wouldn't be here if we weren't crazy about each other, now would we? All I am going to say is that I will be yours for as long as you will have me, and I hope that will be forever because I cannot imagine my life without you by my side. And I promised myself that I wouldn't get emotional, but I just can't believe that I've actually made it here with you, my best friend-"


"If you keep watching that video then it's going to wear out," Derek sighed, handing Stiles a box of tissues and getting into bed with him.


"It's just so beautiful," Stiles cried, grabbing a tissue and wiping his eyes, "We're such an attractive couple and it's just so lovely!"


"Come here you emotional lump," Derek smiled, pulling Stiles into his chest and kissing his head.




Will you still need me, will you still feed me

When I'm sixty-four?




"Happy sixty-fourth birthday Stiles," Derek grinned, handing Stiles his signature chocolate cake.


"I knew you'd still be feeding me in my old age," Stiles smirked, giving Derek a quick kiss before blowing out the candle.