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Jack Burton's Entirely Unexpected Future

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Jack Burton had done a lot of stupid shit in his life, and the stupidest thing had to be agreeing to let Lo Pan drain his life force. It had to be done, though. There was no way they were gonna win without some magic and he kinda figured luck wouldn't be enough. He can't let any of his friends get hurt because he wasn't good enough to save them, and let's be real here- he's not. Good enough, that is. He's Jack Burton: kind of an idiot, kind of annoying, and really goddamn clueless when it comes to most things in life. He's not clueless about this.

Lo Pan, naturally, agrees. Jack hadn't thought for a second he wouldn't, Lo Pan had wanted to kill him for a really long time by now. It just works out better for everyone this way. Lo Pan summons a giant... snake-y Snake. Jack could almost giggle if he wasn't actively trying not to die. Naturally, they come out victorious (or, as natural as a luck magic and monster Snake-influenced victory can be), and, just as naturally, Lo Pan demands his payment for helping get their asses out of trouble.

What isn't natural, what's completely unexpected, is Snake grabbing Jack and pulling him behind a piece of debris. Jack stumbles, and he's about to ask 'what the shit' when Snake jabs his finger at Jack's chest, glaring.

"Are you really this fucking stupid?"

"I mean-"

"He's going to kill you, you goddamn idiot. That's what he means by 'drain your life force.'" Snake grits his teeth, grabbing a fistful of Jack's shirt. Jack just shrugs.

"I know, I know. Kind of a sucky deal, but, I mean... It's what I gotta do. Lo Pan'll kill all of you if I don't." Jack looks away. Lo Pan will kill Snake if he doesn't do this. Jack can't let that happen.

"What do you care?"

"I'm always down to save the day." Jack shrugs again. "Like I said, it's just what I gotta do."

Snake makes a disgusted noise, and Jack is about to pull away and go do the right thing when Snake tightens his grip in Jack's shirt and introduces Jack's head to the hunk of metal they're standing behind.

When Jack comes to, they're all okay. Snake's okay. He doesn't know what happened but Snake isn't looking at him, and then Bobby is pulling him over to talk. Snake leaves without saying goodbye, and Jack's heart sinks. He doesn't make a move to stop Snake in front of all these people, though, watching as the man he's got feelings for (just feelings, because neither of them have said 'I love you' yet and Jack doesn't want to start if Snake isn't cool with it) walks off into the sunset like a bitter, pissed off western film hero.

So, naturally, as soon as Jack's done saying goodbye to everyone and before he goes back to his own dimension he climbs into his truck and goes to track down his pissed western hero boyfriend. Person he has feelings for. Whatever.

He finds Snake walking down a dusty road, and as he leans out of the side of his truck and explains that hey, he's got some time before he goes home and he'd like to spend it with Snake. Jack's fully expecting to get yelled at or punched or maybe even killed for being a stupid idiot asshole. What he's not expecting is for Snake to pull him out of his truck and into a hug. It's probably the tightest Jack's ever been hugged, and he hugs Snake right back, leaning back and lifting Snake off the ground. When Snake gets fed up he pushes Jack away, crossing his arms.

"I hate you."

Jack grins, throwing his arm around Snake's shoulders. "Yeah, I hate you too. I'm glad you're okay."

Snake, somehow, still manages to be bitter about leaning against Jack's side. Not that Jack minds, it's pretty goddamn cute. It's then that he thinks of something that makes him grin even wider.

"I guess it's kinda like asking you to move into an apartment together if I ask you to come back to my dimension with me, huh? Probably a little too early for that."

"What makes you think we're in a relationship, Burton?" Snake glares, but he's smirking a little.

"I dunno, maybe all the times you kissed me." Jack kisses Snake's forehead. Snake huffs, elbowing Jack's ribs. Jack winces, rubbing his side.

"Ow, man..."

"What if we are in a relationship?" Snake asks, not looking at Jack. Jack looks out at the sky as well and shrugs.

"I dunno. I guess I could keep visiting here. I mean, I kinda know how now, right? Throw in some luck and I bet I could find my way back."

Snake rolls his eye. "Sure, because tampering with magic is smart."

"I never said I was smart." Jack sticks out his tongue. "Just lucky."

"Oh yeah? What makes you so lucky?" Snake smirks, meeting Jack's eyes. Jack smiles and shrugs again.

"I mean, it took some luck to get a boyfriend as great as you." Jack leans in to kiss Snake's cheek only to have Snake push his face away.

"You're disgusting. I still hate you." Snake does his absolute best to sound annoyed, but he's starting to smile a little. Jack grins.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say."

Jack never expected to have a whole future in front of him after cutting a deal with Lo Pan, but hey, weirder things have happened. Like an asshole falling in feelings (definitely not love) with an idiot. Jack figures he's really gonna enjoy the future, ancient ghostly wizards or no. How could he not? He gets to spend it with Snake Plissken.