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Dirty Little Secret

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Len woke up slowly. His head hurt and he felt like something wasn't right in there. He didn't know that one could actually feel their mind, but now that someone has been in there... he felt it. He felt uneasy. Kind of molested, actually.

He opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was Barry, lounging on the armchair right next to the sofa, hugging a pillow and looking at him.

Len sighed contently. He didn't really know that all it took was Barry's presence for him to wake up and feel okay but he did. He felt okay. A little uneasy but Barry just being there calmed him.

“Morning Scarlet,” he mumbled sleepily.

“Morning, how are you feeling?”

Len groaned and tried to get a clear head.

“Like my head isn't my own anymore,” he finally said.

That made Barry jump up from where he sat and walk over.

“What do you mean?” he asked – and was that actual concern in his voice?

He placed one hand on Len's forehead and Len had to concentrate very hard not to sigh again.

“You're hot,” Barry mumbled and continued to put the back of his hand all over Len's face which made him chuckle.

“Yeah? I'd rather you found me ice cold.”

Barry rolled his eyes and snorted.

“Really? You're having a fever and you're making cold puns?”

Len shrugged.

“What can I say, it's a gift.”

He studied Barry's face. He didn't think he had ever been that close to the younger man before. He could count every hair on his stubble, every eyelash. And Barry stared back, still kind of stroking Len's cheek.

“Barry,” Len whispered because he didn't know what else to say. Barry's face was so soft. So open and honest that it scared him a little if he was completely honest.

What scared him even more was that he wasn't even able to tell if this was really happening. If what he saw and felt was true. His mind felt so disrupted that he wouldn't be surprised if he really was hallucinating.

Barry came nearer and nearer. Soon, Len could feel Barry's breath on his face and only seconds later, his lips on his lips. He closed his eyes and let himself sink further into the sofa cushions only to feel Barry's weight on him.


And then he opened his eyes again.

There was a throbbing pain right behind his eyes and the first thing he saw was Barry on his armchair, hugging the pillow.

“Morning,” he said confused.

“Morning. You're awake.”

Len just looked at the other man, trying to contemplate what was happening.

He jumped up from the sofa and the blanket that had been draped over him fell in a heap on the floor.

“I, er, should go,” Len said hastily and tried to figure out what to do and say next. Alarmed, Barry jumped from his chair as well and approached Len.

“Are you sure? Caitlin said...”

“Yes, I know. I am perfectly fine.”

Barry tried reaching his hand up to his face but Len flinched away.”

“She said I was supposed to see if you had a fever.”

Len was getting frantic. He edged to the door, took his leather jacket on the way.

“Nah, no fever, just a headache. Okay, see you soon, Scarlet, bye.”

With that he was out of the door. He closed it behind him and let himself rest against it for a minute.


What the hell was happening?

He went home, shaking. He didn't know what was real and what wasn't anymore. He just lay down on the sofa, trying to stop the ringing in his head.

He needed to talk to the meta. He figured that only then he would find the answers he was looking for. He guessed that Dr. Snow and Cisco would do some tests on him today but tomorrow, Len thought, tomorrow should be safe. Because he sure as hell wasn't telling Team Flash about his current... predicament. Especially not if said predicament included kissing their superhero, no thank you.


He just lay on his own sofa all day, trying to figure out what to do until he thought it was a good idea to distract himself. He eyed his laptop and turned it on real quick, to see if he had a new e-Mail. He was in luck.


From: ScienceIsCool

To: Snowflake

Subject: Re: 900 years

Dear Snow,

I am absolutely terrified right now. I'm writing this from the comfort of my living room, while my (I'm pretty sure) soulmate is right next to me. RIGHT next to me. What do I do? They are sleeping. I don't even know how I came to be in this situation. I am absolutely freaking out and the only reason why I am writing this distressed e-Mail to you is because I am sure that you will understand and I feel like you are the only person in the whole world I can talk to about this. The more I look at them, the more I love them. And this is a problem.

I will now try to reply to the rest of your last message in a calmer manner just to distract myself.

I am absolutely not weirded out, I promise. Actually, I have a confession to make. I did kind of fantasise about how us two would meet someday and fall in love just because I feel really connected to you. I can tell you about anything and you would never judge me for it. I wish it could be this simple. I wish we could just be soulmates from just corresponding, without other people we liked. It would make my current situation so much easier, let me tell you.

I love how in love you seem, though. This is so nice. I wish someone would ever feel about me what you feel about your... person. And thanks, same goes for you. I cannot see how you declaring your feelings to someone would go wrong. You are wonderful and you are important. Don't you ever forget that.

By the way, I was asking my friend yesterday if he wanted to do a Doctor Who marathon? He said no? Can you believe that? The nerve of some people...

Talk to you soon,


Len smiled at the screen. He did like to indulge in feelings, sometimes. He didn't think it was safe, though, to reply as long as he had this weird mind of his. Lest he actually told Science who he was. He couldn't have someone running around knowing who he was and that he had... feelings like that.

At all. It would probably be too easy as well, to find out who he had these feelings for. He felt that if someone knew him, it was fairly obvious. He was surprised that Mick hadn't caught on yet.

He put the Laptop back down and closed his eyes. He would deal with the mess in his head soon. After he was sure that noone would see him sneak in and out of STAR Labs. Maybe even the next night.