Chapter 1: My Hero
You pull the window shut behind you. At least you’re nice enough to shut it for him. The guy left it wide open. What a complete idiot. He was practically asking for you to come in and drain him. This is why you liked the neighborhood. It always had a few open or unlocked bedroom windows you could find filled with people to leech off of. Nothing like milking the lifeforce from an unsuspecting sleeper with their window hanging wide open.
You hop off the fourth story balcony and pump your magic right before you hit the ground, making for a soft gentle landing. The guy was alright looking too. Maybe you’ll come back when you’re hungry again. Haha, maybe you’ll give him a better dream too. You can’t believe a guy his age is actually into diapers, that sicko. What the heck.
You humm to the night air as you slowly walk home. Maybe he has a girlfriend you can try next. Heh, it's always fun to see what couples really like deep down. If the guy was into diapers, the girl was probably even freakier. Hahah maybe she's into grandpaws, making them both into diapers!
Your tail flicks in your pants as you stretch. Young people are much better. You can practically feel his life force waking your body up. You’d been putting off your feeding session for three days now, and you're weakening body was practically unbearable. Why did lifestealing have to be such a chore?
You round the corner to the group of buildings when you hear shouts, laughter, and jeers. Great… there’s a bunch of drunk idiots walking around. Seriously stay indoors if your gonna get wasted. Nobody likes a group of drunkards in the middle of the night on a Tuesday.
You notice the sounds getting louder as you get closer to the open alleyway on your left. Tch… they had better leave you alone, or they were in for a rude awakening. You’re ears focus in when you hear what sounds like someone pleading.
“S-STOP… HU-HUMAN I MUST BE ON MY WAY!”
“Dude… ask it how, hehehe…. Ask it how it fucks! Hahahahaha!”
“L-LANGUAGE… AND THAT IS PR-PRIVATE INFORMPHHH-”
“Hahaha shut it up!”
“Lets see what it’s got!”
“Pull ‘em down!”
Great… sounds like they’re drunk, and violent. Well... as long as they leave you alone they can do whatever they want for all you care. You can’t wait to get home to your sweet sweet bed, and get some much needed rest.
You pass the opening of the ally and glance a quick peek. Lucky for you, you’re eyes see nearly perfectly in the darkness. You make out the form of three adult men. One standing in the middle of the alley watching as the other two hold something against the wall. You squint trying to get a good look at what they’ve got that’s so interesting they’re all laughing like idiots. It’s hard to tell with one of the men standing in front of it.
“I told’ja ta hold it still.”
“Sssory, heheh, it’s a wriggly one.”
Suddenly whatever their holding pushes forward, before being dragged back against the wall. You immediately stop in your tracks.
Was that a kid?
Are they molesting a kid!?
You sigh inwardly… Ok, maybe you’ll do something about it. Seriously, how can four drunk guys have a kid pinned to a wall in the middle of the night. Thats pretty bad, even by your standards. They can do whatever they want to adults, but kids are off limits.
You quickly change directions, charging in a direct line down the alley.
“Get em off!”
“Take um off n’ lets see!”
“I told’ja ta hold him down.”
“Hehehe, I’m trying I’m trying.”
“Don’t lettum scream.”
They’re so drunk they don’t even notice you until you’re a few feet away… Or maybe it’s that it’s really dark. You can’t always tell how well regular people are suppose to see. The guy hanging back finally takes notice of you, and wobbles as he sneers. He’s still holding a can.
“Heya darlin, coming ta join the show.”
You smile politely back. Any second now it should kick in.
“Why yes.” Smirk “What type of show are you going to give me?”
Suddenly his eyes roll and the man starts drooling. You allow your entire aura out, pissed that you had to take a detour home. You aren’t gonna spare any of these jerkwads for messing with a kid, and more importantly taking up your extremely precious resting time. His body has no choice but to submit. He falls to his knees, the other two at the wall soon following suit. You now have three drooling men rolling around on the floor as your aura holds them in a perpetual state of uncontrollable lust.
“Lets see… you were talking about how it fucks right, maybe you can show me-.”
You are rudely interrupted from your playthings by a loud voice to your right. Oh right, the kid. Kids aren’t affected by your aura. You look over to where the inappropriately loud voice came from, and are met with two gaping black holes. What is that? That’s not a kid… is it?
Recognition dawns on you as you look them over longer. Ohhhhh, it’s one of those new monster things. It looks like a skeleton maybe? It’s so small. But it’s head is so big. What’s with that outfit? Lots of blue… shoulder pauldrons… gloves and boots? Actually… that scarf is kinda adorable… too adorable…. Wait!… you get it. It’s a monster kid. Wow, these guys were going after a whole ‘nuther species kid, are they completely retarded.
The monster steps away from the wall as they inspect the people now rolling in ecstasy on the floor drooling. He looks worried.
“HUMANS, ARE YOU ALRIGHT! THE MAGNIFICENT SANS DID ASK THAT YOU UNHAND ME IMMEDIATELY, BUT THERE IS NO NEED TO ROLL YOURSELVES ON THE FLOOR!”
Well… you weren’t expecting that. Is he actually worried for these pedo jerks. His skull somehow scrunches up with worry as he watches the drool slowly leak outta the guys mouth. Apparently skeletons can have facial expressions. Who knew? The little guy squats down and starts trying to help the man, previously holding him against the wall, up.
“Leave him.” You say, amused.
“BUT HE IS IN DISTRESS! HUMAN, WE MUST HELP THEM IMMEDIATELY.”
The man starts moaning as the monster tries to move him again.
“He’s fine… He’s just a little uh…. Overstimulated from my presence.”
“HUMAN! YOU DID THIS!!”
You personally could care less if a kid thinks you did this or not. It’s not like anyone would believe a kid anyway.
The little skeleton looks as you, and you watch his face morph from confusion to pure joy.
“HUMAN! PERHAPS... DID YOU COME HERE TO SAVE ME!”
“Pretty much…” You sigh in annoyance. “Listen, it’s late. I’m not sure why you're out here at this hour, but you should really go home an-”
“HUMAN ARE YOU BY CHANCE! A HERO!”
You stare into the monster’s sockets and are met by his own bright pins of glowing blue. They almost seem to be looking at you, expectantly… wait, are those like, his eyes or something.
“Phahahahaha what!” You can’t help but laugh. A succubus is about as far from a hero as you can get. Maybe the hero of the impotent, but you are definitely not a hero. “Heheh, sure little dude. I’m a hero.”
His face morphs into pure excitement at your answer.
“MWEH HEH HEH, I KNEW IT FROM THE MOMENT I LOOKED AT YOU! WORRY NOT HERO, FOR I THE MAGNIFICENT SANS WILL KEEP YOUR SECRET SAFE!”
He looks so happy. Good thing you got here in time. Whatever those guys were thinking of doing, probably wouldn’t be very good for a kid to experience. You’re glad he didn’t seem too shaken up about it.
You lean over a little, trying to meet his eyes.
“You will huh?” You give his skull a good pat. “Good, because I forgot my costume. It would be pretty bad if someone were to find out about my secret identity.”
You watch as he nearly dances on the spot with glee. Ok… you have to admit. Monster kids are kinda adorable.
You smile down at him, happy to take his mind off what just happened. You may not like adults that much, but kids are alright. They’re the only thing your seductive aura has no control over. They treated you just like they treated everyone else. No crazy desires. No lust filled glances. They were pure.
“HERO! MAY I PLEASE ASK? WHAT IS YOUR NAME!”
“Oh… it’s uhhh… Y/N.”
He deflates a little.
“YOUR’E HERO NAME IS Y/N?” He asks confused.
“Oh…. uh, no… that’s my actual name. You want my hero name huh… Are you sure I can trust you with this sensitive information?”
The little blue dots in his sockets expand. You swear there are tiny stars growing in the center of them. You watch his face explode with excitement.
“HERO! I WOULD STAKE MY LIFE ON THIS SECRET! PLEASE THE MAGNIFICENT SANS MUST KNOW AT ONCE!”
“Well… that sounds like an answer I can count on, magnificent Sans. The name I go by, is a name you better never forget. I prowl the streets at night and keep a watchful eye out for danger. Villains fear me most during a dark moon. You had better keep your windows shut, for I am know as, the Nocturnal Finisher, and I never leave a job half done!”
You snicker a bit in your head. Good thing it’s a kid.
“NOCTURNAL FINISHER…. WOWIE.”
The little guy is practically vibrating with excitement now. You suppress a laugh, deciding to get back to business.
“Now, listen here magnificent Sans. It’s waaaay past your bedtime. You need to skedaddle on home immediately.”
“I CAN’T GO HOME, HERO.”
Shoot… did something bad happen to his family. Monsters weren’t treated the best on the surface. Maybe you should take him home with you and call the authorities first thing in the morning.
“I’VE GOT TO PICK UP MY LITTLE BROTHER FIRST.”
Ohhh thank stars! Wait… why is his little brother out in the middle of the night. No… even more importantly why aren’t his parents picking them up. You sigh a little and turn towards the kid. Why does he have to be so dang cute? You just want to go home and sleep.
“How about I come with you? I always make sure the job is finished, and we can’t call it done till you get your brother.”
The skeleton beams at you. Is it possible for skeletons not to not smile? You aren’t really sure.
“REALLY HERO! YOU WANT TO ACCOMPANY ME!”
“Yeah, what if more of these guys show up. I’ve gotta make sure that nothing bad happens.”
The guy nearest to you makes an extra loud moaning sound and reaches for your foot. You discretely step on his fingers and start digging your weight into the heel, feeling the bones start to crack.You keep your eyes on the kids face to prevent suspicion.
“WORRY NOT HERO. THEY SIMPLY WISHED TO ASK ME IMPORTANT INTERSPECIES QUESTIONS AND GOT A BIT... FORCEFUL. I AM THE UNOFFICIAL MASCOT FOR MONSTERS AFTER ALL MWEH HEH HEH!”
Yeah… important interspecies questions huh? Because that usually entailed pushing you up against a wall in a dark alleyway, covering your mouth, and pulling down your clothes.
“Then maybe I just want to have a nice walk with a cool guy!”
It starts as a smidgen of blue, it blossoms from the bottom of his cervical vertebrae all the way to the top of his skull. Soon the whole monsters entire round skull is colored in a bright neon blue color. It glows slightly in the darkness, and you can’t help but stare. Is that… blushing?
“H-H-HERO… A-A-A GENUINE COMPLIMENT! BU-BU-BUT SURELY THE TIME FOR DATING IS TOO SOON!”
Wait… dating? What. Isn’t this kid like 10ish or something. Maybe he was a little older… Or maybe he's at whatever age monsters are for teenagers and he's feeling bashful about your beautiful presence.
“Let’s keep everything to a simple walk tonight, eh?”
The blush disappears as quickly as it came and hes once again smiling.
“OF COURSE HERO! BUT WHAT ABOUT THESE HUMANS IN DISTRESS?”
“Don’t worry about them. My superpowers are holding them down. They’ll be fine once we leave.”
He fidgets with glee and strikes a pose. Scarf billowing in the nonexistent wind.
“THEN ONWARD HERO! OUR DESTINATION LIES THAT WAY!”
He points enthusiastically the only direction possible from the alleyway. The back being a dead end.
“Lead on magnificent Sans.”
He bounds ahead of you with seemingly endless energy. You watch him disappear around the corner, and take a moment to kick the guy at your feet in the stomach. He pants and moans in a lust filled pain.
“P-p-please… touch me.”
These guys are lucky you need to walk him home, or you would force them to endure something much much worse. Never. Mess. With. Children! You stomp over his drooling body as you hear echos of the little skeleton call after you to hurry.
“So… Sans, what’s your brother doing out so late?” You ask as you walk next to him.
His face falls a little. Ahh… so skeletons can frown.
“PAPY HASN’T BEEN DOING VERY WELL… EVER SINCE WE LEFT THE UNDERGROUND HE’S BEEN OUT LATE WITH HIS… OTHER FRIENDS.”
“Oh… and he doesn’t invite you?”
“I DON’T LIKE THAT PLACE VERY MUCH.”
“IT SMELLS WEIRD, AND ISN’T SUITABLE FOR A GROWNUP LIKE ME!”
You stifle a laugh. Maybe the kids his brother hangs out with are a little on the delinquent side. Sans does seem like the overly responsible type for a kid his age.
“I’m surprised he doesn’t get in trouble for staying out so late.”
“HE DOES, BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE LISTENES. I’VE TOLD HIM A HUNDRED TIMES THAT HE HAS TO COME HOME BEFORE IT GETS DARK, BUT HE NEVER DOES. IN THE END I HAVE TO DO ALL THE CHORES AROUND THE HOUSE BECAUSE HE FORGETS, OR NEVER DOES THEM, AND THEN I HAVE TO GO PICK HIM UP..”
“He sounds like a real handful.”
The little skeleton who seems so full of energy, gets quiet for the first time.
“I LOVE HIM A LOT, BUT I’M REALLY WORRIED ABOUT HIM...”
“IF HE KEEPS ACTING THIS WAY… MAYBE ONE NIGHT HE WON’T COME BACK.”
Well shoot…. Things just got real serious. What is his brother doing every night?
“I’m sure if you sit down and have a talk with him, you can work things out. Younger brothers should listen to their older brothers.”
“I-I TRY, BUT HE KEEPS RUNNING AWAY.”
“We'll keep trying. I’m sure he’ll come around. You’re his cool big brother after all.”
“O-OF COURSE I AM HERO. THERE IS NO NEED FOR FLATTERY!”
You continue following the skeleton, when he suddenly stops in front of a building with a bright purple neon sign.
“THIS IS IT!” He sighs. “MUFFET’S…”
It’s a bar. His younger brother is at a bar. What are they doing letting a kids hang out at a bar? You notice a lot of monsters wandering around the area and wonder if monsters aren’t as strict about age limits when it comes to alcohol.
You follow the skeleton into the building, feeling the temperature change from the cool air outside, to the warm air of the bar. Looking around, the inside is decorated heavily with purple black and pink. You’re almost surprised it isn’t a strip club with the color choice. The whole place smells sweet, with an alcoholic twist. It’s full of monsters, and you feel a little self conscious being the only human in the place… Ok, ok…. human looking person.
A few of the monsters look up when you enter, and give you a curious glance. But, most of them don’t seem overly bothered at your presence. There is definitely a majority of dog monsters going on. A lot of them are barking, whining, and wagging their tails at one another.
Sans marches straight through the center of the bar, over to the counter with a tall orange hoodie clad monster. He’s slumped over the counter with a half empty glass reeking of alcohol. Light snores come off his body, and his chest heaves slowly. You suddenly realize that this is also a skeleton monster. A tall adult looking skeleton monster. Not a kid. Surely this isn't San’s younger brother. He’s supposed to be a kid right?
A dark purple monster appears behind the counter with a deep scowl across her face. She has at least two extra pair of arms, and is suited in an adorably cute jumper. She wipes slowly at a glass as she apologises.
“Sorry Sans. I cut him off, but he got some of the dogs to buy him a drink instead.”
Suddenly a crash is heard and her adorably cute face morphs into rage.
“Another dish really, that’s the third one tonight!”
She marches off towards the table with the dogs at it.
Sans sighs with his hands at his hips. He takes a moment to watch his brothers slow breath rise and fall as he sleeps. In the quietest voice you’ve heard all night he mutters.
“What am I gonna do with you Papy...?”
Then he shakes himself and pulls up his sleeves. It looks like he's getting ready for something difficult.
“PAPY WAKE UP! I’M HERE TO TAKE YOU HOME!”
He yells at the tall monster. It’s his brother alright. What’s going on?
“Five more munnnntzzzzzz.” Hoodie monster slurs, bairly flicking an arm up in response.
There’s a small puddle of drool on the counter where his head is lying.
“PAPY! GET UP! YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN’T STAY OUT THIS LATE, I HAVE WORK TOMORROW AND I NEED TO GO HOME.”
“Nnnnn Snassss….. I like you hehehe. Gimmie…. Gimmie a hug.” The taller skeleton rolls his face slightly in his sleep.
Your brain is already connecting the dots as you look from one monster to the other. Somehow…. Somehow, the tiny cute monster you’ve been accompanying tonight is not a child, but in fact, an adult. Somehow, this other enormously tall monster is his younger brother. And somehow, you’ve been roped into all this.
Sigh… monsters are much too confusing for you right now. The younger one looks old, and the older one looks like a kid. You guess you shouldn’t have used human logic to guess a monster’s age. That was your fault. But Sans was acting so… Adults don’t act like that do they? Maybe it’s a monster thing.
You watch as the little monster attempts to get his brother to move from the counter. He pulls at his arm, beggs, nags, and even starts to tell him he’ll take away his honey rights… whatever that is? You decide you’re done. You only helped the guy because you thought he was a kid. You’re supposed to be home right now. In your comfy bed, sleeping. Not standing awkwardly as the only human in a monster bar, watching someone try to wake a skeleton from a drunken stupor.
You walk over as Sans grabs his brother around the waist and attempts to pull him from the stool.
“Need some help.”
“HERO-HUMAN!” He corrects, huffing. “I’M SORRY, BUT… MHHHH…. MY BROTHER IS SADLY NOT…. HUUUFFF… MOVING.”
“I can see that. How about you move out of the way and let me try.”
He looks you over once before continuing to pull on the huge creature.
“YOU ARE WELCOME TO GO AHEAD AND TRY HE-HUMAN! MUFFFFF…. BUT MY BROTHER’S ABILITY TO DEFY ANY AND ALL MOTION WHEN HE SLEEPS IS A MORE POWERFUL NIGHHHHH…. SKILL THAN ANY BATTLE TECHNIQUE OF THE ROYAL GUARD!”
“Yeah… well, I think this will be worth taking a try.”
He relents his hold on his brother panting, allowing you to take over the task. You walk up behind the passed out monster now very much annoyed with him. It’s his fault that his innocent cute brother was walking around in the middle of the night, getting molested by strangers. It’s his fault you had to do something about it. And, it’s his fault you aren’t in your comfy bed right now, enjoying your sleep. No, instead he’s the one sleeping, like none of it even matters. Oh, you are so gonna wake this guy up, and it’s not gonna be nice!
You lean over his back, putting your mouth right up next to the spot on his skull where the ear should be. You feel some sort of humming noise coming off his bones. It’s kinda relaxing. You get as close as possible, and whisper in your lowest, darkest, and most seductive voice.
“Rise and shine beautiful. It’s time for your good morning kiss…”
You then open your mouth, and lick straight up the side of his skull.
The hoodie clad skeleton screams and jumps a full foot in the air. He falls off the stool and lands in a heap on the floor, bone hands wiping at the saliva you left on his skull.
“HUMAN YOU’VE DONE IT! YOU REALLY ARE A HER. . . AMAZING!”
Sans rushes forward trying to help his brother up. The hoodie guy looks around the room in alarm as he tries to orient himself. He finally gets to his feet, slightly wobbling from the alcohol. Sans holds tight to his side, keeping him steady.
“Snasssss, whats going on?” He hiccups.
“PAPY, THE HUMAN MANAGED TO WAKE YOU UP!”
“Ohhhh… thasss nice.”
The tall skeleton wobbles as he leans on the smaller skeleton for support. San’s looks like he’s about to get smashed from the weight. Sigh… why does he have to look so dang cute… You march over and grab the skeleton by his hoodie on the other side to help steady him.
“Let’s call you a cab.”
“IT’S ALRIGHT HUMAN! THIS IS NO PROBLEM FOR THE MAGNIFICENT SANS!”
“Nope, I’m calling you a cab.”
“TAKE THE CAB!!!”
You are not dealing with this anymore. Sans nods his head, and you both struggle together to carry the heavily inebriated monster from the bar.
Eventually, you make it outside the bar, and you flag down a cab while Sans waits with his brother. You hold the door open for them, and Sans begins to pile his brother into the vehicle.
“Ehhh wait lady! I didn’t pull over for them.”
The driver says, rolling down his window.
You watch Sans hesitate with his enormous brother. That sad look on his cute face is actually hurting you.
Nope. You are done. You are done with this stupidity right now. He will take these monsters home, and they won’t be your problem anymore. Oh yes, he’s gonna take them.
“Aww come on handsome, Surely you’ll take them. Do it for little ole me.”
Batting your eyelashes, you let your aura barely leak out. The man’s demeanor changes completely.
“Y-yeah… anything for you darlin… please just… I’ll do it… I’ll do it! Let me do it!” He starts to beg. Ok maybe that was a little much.
“Good, and make sure they get there safely.”
You chuck some money through the window as sans finishes packing his brother into the car. Finally he scoots in alongside his brother, and give you a wave, and a cute smile before it drives off.
You still can’t believe that skeleton wasn’t a kid. He totally looked like one. He even thought you’re a hero and everything. Come on, that’s not how an adult acts. The more you think about it, the more it hurts your head. But wait… if he isn't a child… doesn’t that mean… your succubus aura doesn’t work on monsters?
Chapter 2: A maid to save the day!
You get a new maid
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
You lay on your couch in the afternoon, annoyed. The idiots at your company failed to get their act together and get you a meeting. How hard can it be to schedule you a showing? All you need is a little person to person talking and you can sell anything. Well, almost anything. You make sure not to go too overboard when you sell. Just because you can persuade anyone to buy anything from you, doesn’t mean they won’t have buyer's remorse once you're gone. You have to make sure they buy no more than what they can handle, or the sale gets cancelled the moment you leave.
You dial another number looking for someone to vent at. It’s not your job to set up meetings. You made that clear again and again. You get sent straight to voicemail.
“Answer your damn phone Tom! Where’s my meeting! I told you I only work in person! I’m not gonna pursue a lead if you can’t get them to set up a meeting with me! Call me back when you got some actual work for me!”
You slam your phone on the couch rolling around in annoyance. They are definitely avoiding you. They know they messed up, and now they aren’t answering your calls. At least let me yell at you so I can feel better.
You lay there for a moment before you decide to simply give up, and enjoy the rest of your day. You sit up on the couch and look around. Your condo is a complete mess. Sigh... Normally someone from the cleaning service comes by a few times a week to keep it clean. Normally... But the last lady had finally gone off the deep end.
This usually happens to the people around you. It’s not your fault. You usually keep your seductive aura in check, but it still ends up leaking out. Your house is no exception. The whole thing is covered in thick succubus scent. The last lady... may have tried to kill her whole family in madness when you told her you weren’t into her. Really it wasn’t your fault…
The mess has piled up. Without someone to cook meals for you, every night you usually end up ordering out. There’s an enormous pile of dirty dishes in the sink. You basically survive on snacks, and quick and easy microwave dinners when you don’t order out. The remains of those are now stacked to unbelievable heights in the sink. You didn’t even bother to rinse them. The whole pile wafting a stench of rotting food throughout the kitchen.
The trash is overflowing next to it. You started setting containers and boxes near it, once you realized you couldn’t stack anymore on top. These were also filled to the brim with more stinky disgusting trash.
This was only what you could see in the kitchen. Your entire bedroom floor is covered in all the dirty clothes you wore for the past month. You simply let them sit where you took them off, and now the whole floor was covered except for the path from your bed, to your doors. You were really running low on fresh clothing to wear.
Your master bath is no exception. There’s a ton of your favorite black silk underwear dangling all over it. You loved expensive lacy underwear. It was kinda your thing to collect and wear the most intricately patterned ones you could find. It covered everything in the bathroom. Door handles, drying racks, shower curtain. Everything covered in hanging risque underwear. Also dirty.
Anything you had spilled or made a mess of in the bathroom was left where you used it. Your mirror is flecked with the stains from your many bathroom products. Empty bottles and containers are strewn about, simply left where you used them. They cover both sides of the sink, and some of the floor. You’re starting to use the guest bathroom instead. Already that bathroom was becoming a mess.
There's a dark multicolored ring growing in your luxurious tub from all the bath bombs you love. The drain itself is starting to clog from your hair. The floor hasn’t been vacuumed since the maid last quit… or went on a crazy murder rampage… whatever. Not your fault. Small specks of dirt cling to your feet when you walk around your house. You wear slippers to protect your feet from your own filth.
You stare at the growing mess in your living room. It's a mishmash of everything. Dishes, cups, trash, and clothes. Someone really needs to take care of this. You’ve never cooked, cleaned, or folded a single article of clothing in your life. Why should you when you can get someone else to do it? Being a succubus has it’s perks. Everyone will do anything you want, when you want them to, how you want it. And they’ll beg you to do it! Everyone that isn’t a child, that is… You narrow your eyes. And maybe monsters too… Do they count? You aren’t the same species. It’s not like succubus powers work on animals. Their kinda like animals right? Animals that talk. You’ve definitely seen rabbits...
Usually, the cleaning service you use simply provides you with a new person once the previous one goes crazy. Really it’s not your fault!... They have however… run out of available... uh… willing personnel to take on both you and your… ahem…. Unique house. Luckily for you, someone new just got hired and they’re sending them over today. Not so lucky for them you suppose… Seriously stop thinking it’s your fault when it isn’t!
You wonder how long they’ll last…
You hear a knock at your door, and get up. Finally! You’re having a hard time functioning with all this mess building up around you. Someone really needs to do something about it. As you walk over to the door, you stuff your tail into your pants. People don’t usually react well seeing it. They often assume you're a furry... or somebody really really strange. You attempt to suppress your succubus aura to its smallest possible effect before you turn the handle. You need this person to last as long as possible.
You open the door and immediately have to drop your gaze. Your eyes widen in surprise.
It’s the little monster kid… you mean adult… you met a few days ago. His eyelights are shining with small stars as they look up at you.
“Uhh… yeah. Hey.” You forgot his name… Was it Serif or something. It was a font right?
“YOU LIVE HERE?”
He quickly clears his voice, dropping his bag, he places his feet together and salutes.
“THE MAGNIFICENT SANS FROM ‘SAVE THE DAY MAIDS’ IS REPORTING FOR DUTY! ARRIVING SHARP ON THE HOUR. READY AND WILLING TO CLEAN ANY MESS AND COOK ANY MEAL. OUR MOTTO IS TO SAVE YOU TIME SO THAT YOU CAN CONTINUE SAVING THE WORLD AT YOUR OWN LEISURE…”
His sockets widen as he says the last line.
“MWAHHHHH! HERO! IS THIS WHY YOU NEED A MAID! YOUR TIME AS A HERO HAS PREVENTED YOU FROM CLEANING PROPERLY!”
He begins to bounce up and down with excitement.
One of the neighbors outside mowing their lawn looks towards you. Sans isn’t a very quiet person.
“H-how bout you come inside?” You offer.
“OF COURSE HERO RIGHT AWAY!”
He marches excitedly into your condo, taking his bag with him, and stops when he sees the mess.
“Yeah… I hope they warned you… that’s why I pay-”
“HERO! THIS IS A COMPLETELY HORRIBLE DISASTER!” He shouts, cutting you off.
He runs into the living room, trying to avoid stepping on your things.
“DID A VILLAIN DO THIS! GASP” Yes, he audibly yells gasp. “THEY FOUND OUT YOUR SECRET IDENTITY AND ARE INTIMIDATING YOU WITH POOR QUALITY LIVING CONDITIONS BY TRASHING YOUR HOUSE. WHAT IF... WHAT IF IT WAS I WHO SAID SOMETHING.”
He thinks for a moment.
“NO I’M CERTAIN THAT I KEPT THE MAGNIFICENCE OF THIS SECRET STRICTLY UNDER CONTROL. BUT WHAT IF I SAID IT IN MY SLEEP! PERHAPS A PASSING VILLAIN HEARD IT AND-”
“YES HERO!” He salutes.
“Uhh… My secret identity is fine… I just... had so much work that I haven't gotten around to cleaning it.”
His eyelights dilate to twice their size.
“IT IS JUST LIKE THE MOTTO! I KNEW I PICKED THE RIGHT PLACE TO WORK! AND BY HELPING YOU CLEAN. MWEH HEH HEH… I’M BASICALLY YOUR SIDEKICK!”
He gives you a wry smile, before he quickly jumps into a pose, blue scarf billowing where it’s tied in non existent wind.
“QUICKLY! I REQUIRE A NAME.”
“Isn’t it Sans?”
“NO NO NO! A NAME AS YOUR SIDEKICK!”
“Oh… uuuuh. The…. ummm.”
Your brain is reeling, unable to keep up with the intense energy of the little skeleton monster in your house. You look at him trying to figure out a name. What would be a good name. He’s wearing… gloves… the great gloved... No… maybe his scarf? Gahh! Well he’s entirely blue… It kinda reminds you of that superhero group you watched as a kid. The one with rangers in it.
“T-the Magnificent Blue Ranger!” You shout.
Wait, why are you shouting? Even better, why are you going along with this guy in the first place?
He claps his hands to his cheeks, strange skeletal grin going wider. Stars sparkling in his eyelights.
“THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE RANGER! MWEH HEH HEH! IT FITS PERFECTLY. I AM A MASTER OF BLUE MAGIC AFTER ALL.”
You attempt to calm yourself. It’s hard, this kid- you mean adult… really knows how to make a situation more exciting than it actually is. You have him here for a reason. dangit!
“Well… um… Ranger Blue. I need to show you around so you can do your job.”
“AT ONCE NOCTURNAL FINISHER!” He salutes.
Your brain nearly explodes!
“HERO WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?”
“Hahaha… It’s… it’s nothing! Heheheheh D-d-don’t worry about it. Heh...”
You take a deep breath attempting to steady yourself. You forgot you said that. Oh stars why did you say that? Wait… how come he doesn’t know what that means? He’s an adult. Then again he is a skeleton… so he probably doesn't have stuff like that… right?
“A-anyway… follow me. I’ll show you where the cleaning supplies are kept.”
He follows you down the hall, and up the stairs, humming a song the entire way.
“HUMAN! THIS IS A VERY LARGE HOME FOR ONE PERSON! DO YOU PERHAPS… HAVE A FAMILY.”
“N-no… it’s uhhh… just me’n Silks.” You say… feeling a little self conscious. It is a much bigger home than someone like you needs.
“WHO IS THIS, SILKS?”
“My pet snake.”
“YOU HAVE A PET? I WAS NOT INFORMED? YOUR REQUEST DID NOT INCLUDE PET SERVICES.”
“Yeah… well… snakes aren’t usually covered in pet services. You’re okay being around snakes right?”
“THE MAGNIFICENT… BLUE IS OK WITH ALL LIVING CREATURES.” He says, smiling sweetly.
It didn’t matter to you if he was scared of snakes. There’s only one thing you attempted to clean in your house, and that is Silkie’s tank. Unless you were out on a trip for work, you always kept Silkie’s tank in perfect condition. He was your baby after all. Most of the other maids wouldn’t go near him, and you preferred it that way.
You stop at the closet at the top of the stairs and open it.
“Most’a the stuff for cleaning should be in here. I think your service provides you with some things right?”
He nods his head vigorously as he clutches at his bag.
“If you need something that isn’t in here, or are about to run out of anything… give me a list and I’ll have it for you next time. There should be pens and a notepad in the kitchen.”
“I WILL REMEMBER IT HERO!”
He begins to remove several trash bags from the closet.
“I WAS INFORMED THAT YOU ORDERED THE FULL PACKAGE? GENERAL CLEANING, HEAVY CLEANING, LAUNDRY SERVICE, AND… M-MEAL PREPARATION?”
He looks a little worried with the last one.
“Yeah… that’s not a problem… right?”
“O-OF COURSE NOT HERO! YOU ARE LUCKY TO HAVE SOMEONE AS GREAT AS I, THE MAGNIFICENT.. BLUE CLEANING FOR YOU. FOR I SHALL HAVE THIS HORRENDOUS DISGRACE OF A LIVING ACCOMMODATION CORRECTED TO PERFECTION IN NO TIME MWEH HEH HEH!”
You feel like you should be a little offended at his somewhat rude description of your condo. Most maids politely pretended the place wasn’t as bad as it actually was. It doesn’t seem like he was trying to offend you, so you let the comments pass. Besides… he was giving you that cute face. Dang it’s hard to be mad at that face.
You nod your head with his comment and stand there awkwardly for a moment.
“Do you need me to show you around, or do you think you can figure it out?”
“I,THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE, AM A MASTER OF PUZZLES! SO SURELY I CAN FIGURE OUT A SIMPLE OVERLY LARGE HOUSE FOR ONE HUMAN.”
There he goes with the comments again.
“...Then I’ll uh… let you get to it.”
“RIGHT AWAY HERO!”
“If you need anything from me… just ask.”
He answers you with his huge grin, and you contemplate the ability this skeleton has for being cute, before you briefly smile back. Then you turn and walk downstairs. It’s always awkward to have someone clean else your place with you lazing about on the couch, but you aren’t really one to care what other people think. You decide you aren’t dealing with work anymore today. They can crash and burn on their own time for all you care. Instead, you opt for reading your newest book.
You hear things bumping around upstairs. It makes it hard to concentrate on reading. Sounds like he decided to start in your bedroom first. Muffled noises of complaints slowly trickle downstairs.
“MY STARS! THIS IS HORRENDOUS.”
“WHY WOULD YOU EVEN PUT THAT HERE!”
“SURELY THIS COULD HAVE EASILY BEEN THROWN AWAY.”
You hear more banging around. He must really be getting into it. A door is opened, and you hear a high pitched scream.
Suddenly all noises stop, and you are left with silence.
You put your book down, listening. Huh… you wonder what he’s doing.
“WHA-WHA-WHAT IS THIS!"
Now you’re worried. You throw the book on the floor and march upstairs. San's in your room with the bathroom door open, staring wide socketed.
His entire face glows bright blue.
By the way… reader’s isn't suppose to be the best person at first. So if you don't like her, fear not. Swap Sans’ll teach her a lesson in how hero's are suppose to act.