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Late Night (or early morning) Adventures

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It was somewhere near 3 a.m when Remus got the call. He had just gotten to sleep two hours before hand, the winter night causing his scars to ache and making it hard for him to fall into slumber. 

And now he was being woken up by the shrill ringing of the telephone.

He sat up in bed with a groan, swinging his legs over the side of the mattress and hissing when his bare feet hit the cold wood of the floor. He stood with a grimace and made his way towards the kitchen, letting out a curse when his bony hip hit the edge of the dinner table before he finally made it to where the phone hung on the far side of the kitchen wall. 

"What," he snarled, rubbing at his hip through the thin, baggy pajama bottoms that he was wearing to bed; the ones that were a size to big and looked ready to fall off of his hips and pool at his feet at any moment. There was only a handful of people who had this number, and he could only think of two, possibly three, who would be stupid enough to call at such an ungodly hour, one of which that bloody lived here with him.

"Moony!" he heard on the other side of the line, Sirius' voice sounding small and far off. He heard James as well, calling Sirius something particularly foul and muttering at him to “turn the bloody thing the other way, you tosser.” Right, Sirius must have been holding the phone upside down, talking into the speaker rather than into the voice box. He sighed and used one leg to pull a chair towards him so that he could collapse into it, figuring that this conversation would take a while. 

"Fuck, sorry," Sirius said, his voice much clearer now. Remus waited, not saying anything. He knew Sirius would get on with it soon enough. "Anyways, Moony, I've been arrested!" Sirius informed him, his voice overly loud, even through the phone line. It was enough to make Remus’ ears ring with the echo of it.

Remus pulled the phone away from his ear, staring at it for a moment, before promptly hanging up. 

It started ringing again less than a second later, and Remus sat there, allowing it to ring once, twice, three times, before he let out a long suffering sigh and picked it up again. Might as well get this over with. "Yes?" he asked, raising his eyebrows in a way that would have had his friends thinking twice of saying anything stupid, had they been able to see it. Too bad they weren’t.

"Look, Moony," his friend answered, and Remus was only marginally relieved to hear that it was James speaking this time. At least he had a lick of sense about him when it was really needed. 

"I'm all for you leaving Padfoot to rot in prison and become someone’s bitch, if you want," James continued, causing Remus to roll his eyes as he lent back in his chair, "but if you could be a dear and come bail me out before Lily finds out and castrates me, that would be great," James continued, over the sound of Sirius protesting and calling James a wanker in the background.

Remus sighed as he stood, already trying to remember where he had put his trainers when he had come home from work. "I'll be there within the hour," he told his friend, sounding put upon. Which he was, honestly. He should be sleeping, for Merlin’s sake.

"Great!" he heard, right before he slammed the phone back into the cradle.

Sometimes he honestly didn't know why he put up with those two idiots. . 

(And when Remus did get to the police department, exactly fifty three minutes later with the stash of muggle money that Sirius kept “hidden” in his sock drawer, he promptly spoke with the nice police officer, explained that it was all a huge misunderstanding, signed the necessary paperwork to have his two mates released, handed over the bail money, and then dragged the two idiots outside into the winter chill, after being told that he could come pick up his friend’s motorcycle the following day, from wherever it had been towed off to.

Once outside, he turned to his friends, raising what they had dubbed “the eyebrows of utter doom,” and asked, “Why couldn’t you two simple flown off, or apparated away? At the very least, you could have put a cloaking charm on yourselves!”

The two dark haired men turned to face him, nearly identical looks of shock on their face, and Remus realizes that they really hadn’t considered doing any of those things. Christ, but these two were the worst wizards on the planet.

“Oh right, didn’t think of that,” James finally managed to croak, at the same time as Sirius threw an arm over Remus’ shoulder, tugging him close as he said, “That would have been much easier than my idea to dig our way out of prison with the toothpick I found in my pocket!”

Which made Remus really wish he had just left them in a cell for the night.)