She looks at him, wants to hold his hand so badly, wants to be the love of his life but that’s not possible. The love of his life passed away not long ago, his heart is shattered and probably is not going to be able to love again.
She stirs the miso soup in front of her as if that mere act could soothe her fears, her sorrow and insecurity while he eats with a joyous expression. The sweet and slight blush on his cheeks is tempting, she could imagine thousands different words of lust and desire that could arise that pale pink over his skin, yet she cannot vocalize her true feelings, she cannot tell him how much does she thinks of him every day, that her heart belongs to him and him alone, that her dreams are full of him and his green eyes.
- Are you OK, Kotori-chan? – asks the cute little girl between them before putting a spoonful of soup into her mouth.
- Yes, yes! – she jumps in her seat almost spilling her food all over the place, the pink stains her face, her hands tremble.
- Really? You’re spacing out …a lot – Tsumugi remarks while the father stares at her with concern.
- Yes! – Kotori tries to hide her face with embarrassment.
- Are you sure? – Now he asks knitting his brows in worry.
- I’m fine …– she says softly – The interview at The Cooking Academy is the day after tomorrow, I’m worried. – she pauses finding the perfect cover to her true worries – What if I mess up everything? I’ve never been in an interview…I feel lost – Indeed she feels lost in life.
-There’s nothing to worry about, Iida-San. You would do everything flawlessly, I’m sure of it – He assures with a smile that could melt anyone’s heart, she blushes a little more – You’re brilliant at cooking, you can do it with no doubts.
- But what if…- she was going to protest but her words trailed off, she’s not sure about anything in her life anymore.
- You’re young and smart, you’re full of energy and you always do whatever is in that mind of yours. You can do this – He pauses and she looks at him with a questioning look – I’m your teacher after all and I do notice those kind things easily. – again, he smiles softly and resumes his eating, while in her head the only thing that resounds is “I’m your teacher after all….”. That hurts a lot, the pain is unbearable at that point.
Now she stares blankly at the food, she doesn’t want to eat anymore, she wants to be alone…she just wants…to be with him. Kotori looks at him again and she doesn’t want to give up, she’s not giving him up.
In a couple of years, I will come back, not as the student but as a woman and I will really try to reach him, to get him…to make him fall in love with me. She tells herself as a cute smile is formed on her face.
- Thank you, Sensei